Latest / The Rochelle Christiane Podcast / 195. Let's Talk About Sex!

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195. Let's Talk About Sex! · The Rochelle Christiane Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Emotional Mastery Podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I am your host, rochelle.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I'm a holistic human design health coach and this is a space for human design and spiritual journey.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: It's not about being a master of your emotions, rather mastering the tools to self-regulate, to awakening yourself and remembering who you are.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Human design changed my life about five years ago and I've been learning and teaching the system ever since.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: This podcast is human design meets spirituality, meets astrology.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: You don't have to have a belief system to be here, just an open mind and curiosity.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: This is a journey of meeting yourself and awakening to your infinite potential.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Now let the magic begin.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of the Emotional Mastery Podcast.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Today I'm going to talk about sex.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: This is a topic that is one of my favorites.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: I love to get into it.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: It is so layered and so nuanced, and I will just begin by saying that I am not a doctor, I am not a sex therapist.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: I am not here giving any sort of medical professional advice.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I am simply expressing and speaking to sex and sexuality through the lens of astrology, human design, my own personal experiences.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: So some of this may just be my own personal lens and viewpoint and things that I've been through.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: So, if something doesn't feel right, if you don't agree with me, completely fine, this is just a conversation I wanted to bring up.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I think it is really impactful and important and powerful for us to have these conversations, because it is something that is so loaded that we really don't speak to that often.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: I think it's something that we're beginning to touch into a little bit more.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I also have my Jupiter in the eighth house, in Pisces, and so the eighth house is naturally ruled by Scorpio, which we'll get into, of course, and this is drug, sex, rock and roll, all the deep, dark, occult, taboo things, and so literally these topics like darkness and sexuality and all these things really expand me and excite me.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: So I normally don't have notes, I kind of just wing it, but today I actually have notes for what I want to make sure I touch on in this episode.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: So it's going to be deep and, again, if you don't agree with me, completely fine, I love to hear your feedback, I love to hear your opinions, I love to engage in conversation.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: So if anything that I say here you feel like you want to comment on speak to, please reach out to me, dm me on Instagram.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Let's have a conversation about it.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: I think the most powerful thing is to have conversations with people that you do not agree with, to understand their perspectives and to open your mind to possibly a different viewpoint.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: And I always, always try especially with the podcast and just in real life and conversations to keep an open mind, to come with a curious perspective, curious lens, curiosity, ask questions.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I grew up internationally and so I feel like this is one of my greatest strengths that I've gotten through.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: The way that I was raised was sitting and conversing and communicating and meeting and engaging with people who are nothing like you and being curious about their perspective, their experiences, their life.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: And so, again, if anything here rubs you wrong or if anything here is something you don't agree with, let's have a conversation about it.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about it.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: That's why I wanted to bring it here, to sort of destigmatize and lessen the weight and intensity, and taboo-ness made it up.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's a word, but we're going with it.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: That is sex, so let's dig into it.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: So, if you're anything like me, when you are a child and you learn about sex, it's something that married people do, right, it's not something that you just go around doing.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: You must be married and it produces children and you don't do it that often.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: And you know, I mean I feel like my parents have actually been pretty pretty open.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's a conversation that we had in our family, but it wasn't something that was like I don't want to say never do it, because of course I was told not to do it until I was a little bit older, and the first time I had sex my parents found out.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: They weren't happy about it.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: But you know, I think there's so much of like societal labeling, societal expectations, societal conditioning that regardless of how you grew up in your household, you still have to deal with the way society perceives sex and sexuality, and I think it's very.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: You know, if women have a lot of sex, we're sluts.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: If men have a lot's, very.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: You know if women have a lot of sex, we're sluts.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: If men have a lot of sex, you know they're men, right?
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Of course, different cultures, everyone sees it too differently, because then you have fuckboys.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: If you just like, just have sex, you never get into a relationship.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: And there's just so many labels that we throw on people when they are promiscuous, essentially, and they're really, at the end of the day.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with it.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes, when we hold such weight on certain judgments and certain labels, that's what creates something that's bigger.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Of course, when we are shaming something about ourselves, internally, about ourselves, that also makes it much bigger.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: And I think a lot of times when things get so big and go really dark is when we've suppressed something in ourselves, we've been made to feel like there is something wrong with us, and I'm going to get into the astrology of it.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: But one book that I recently read that I thought was so beautiful, like poetry, was A Return to Eros by Mark Gaffney, and he talks about Eros and he says the definition in the book is eros is the principle of aliveness and magic inherent in all of reality, and I love this, and so sex is eros.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: But eros is not just sex and I think we think of the erotic and we attach that label strictly to sex.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: You are erotic and therefore you are sexual, but the idea that's put forth in the book is that we can bring eros into everything, every moment of our day.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: It's awareness, it's presence and it's finding the erotic in the everyday right, In the mundane, in life, and living that fully right, living in an erotic life and it doesn't necessarily mean sex completely.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Eros is holy, eros is, you know, when we do have sex with people, when we do connect on a deep level, when we're at that moment of orgasm in sexual experience, we're not thinking about, you know, philosophy, we're not thinking about really anything, we're purely feeling.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: And I think so often we're chasing that feeling so much.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: We're chasing that feeling of just like what that orgasmic moment is because we are so in tune with, energetically, the other person, we are so in tune.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: It literally is like we're connecting to God in that moment.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: In the spiritual world you know, we hear about manifestation during an orgasm.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: So being intentional and in that moment, like pulling in the manifestation or visualizing it or whatever you can do, because it is such a powerful space to be in, there's literally literally nothing else like it.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: And we were created that sex was pleasure and we were created that sex was pleasure.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: And so when you're looking from a religious standpoint and I speak to the way that I perceived religion sex was bad.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: You did not do it, you know, you were married and you did it to reproduce, but there was always this idea of like.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: If it's so bad, why is it so pleasurable?
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: And of course we can take the lens of well, it's temptation and we are here to fight temptation and all these different layers to it.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: But truly I believe that the act of sex is so beautiful and so powerful and, again, we're constantly chasing it, we all want that connection and so it's just, it's such, again, such a powerful, potent thing, force, energy, because it truly does connect us with something beyond ourselves.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: We are so beyond ourselves in that moment and I truly believe that when you are having sex with somebody, whether it is something casual or whether it is something meaningful, you're creating a tie, you're creating a bond.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: And what's interesting, and I think, especially when we're younger, we don't necessarily realize men and women hormonally it's very different when it comes to sex.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: So men can actually have more casual sex.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Biologically, their hormones, when they actually have sex with a woman, the attraction to that woman lessens, right, and so of course you're thinking oh my gosh, well, how am I going to get somebody to want to be with me or be in a relationship?
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Well, for men, the vasopressin, which is the hormone that actually creates a bond, an attachment, is slowly built over time when they're in the presence of the woman but not having sex with the woman.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: So for men, it's actually that delayed gratification that creates that bond and that attachment, whereas for women, when we're having sex with someone, whether it's casual, consensual, casual, all the things, especially when we orgasm, we release oxytocin which then in that moment bonds us.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: And I don't know where I heard it, but I heard in an article or somewhere that women, actually, if we have sex with a man, we will literally physically, hormonally, biologically, all the things be actually addicted to that person for up to 18 months.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: That's wild to me, but I can see it, I completely understand it, because I was dating somebody for like two years, over two years, and we actually had sex on the first date.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: And sometimes I think about it.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: I'm like that's probably why I was so attached to that person, right, and we do this thing as humans, I believe, as well as women.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: I know I've done this and unintentionally used sex as false intimacy because the draw is so strong to it, and especially when you've had that sort of a connection with somebody.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: I do believe there is, when we are in the act of sex with whoever, we are energetically bonding to that person, whether you're looking at from a scientific, biological perspective.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Like a man can have casual sex and a woman can't, whatever, we're still energetically tying ourselves to that person, regardless of whether you're a man, and the attraction fades out and you can move on.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Regardless of whether you're a woman, you get attached or you don't get attached, or whatever.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: I mean I have had sex with people that I don't feel like I've gotten attached to emotionally, but energetically there is still a bond, there is still a tie, there is still some sort of a cord, and sometimes with people you'll think about them randomly or they come back around in your life for some reason, and so it's just.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: It's a really interesting dynamic, I think, something that we don't necessarily like, I said, especially when you're younger.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I never thought about that when I was younger, right, but especially when you're younger, you don't really realize that.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: So can you imagine if you're, you know, in your 30s, and you've had sex with 20, 30, 40, 50 people, whatever it is, you have all those cords, like energetic cords, like coming off of you.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: So if you're not aware, right, then you're creating these cords, creating these bonds, and you know, whatever your number is, even if it's two people, right, that's still two cords that you're having attached from you to somebody else, and I know I've done a lot of work around specific people in my past of just like cord cutting and releasing and letting go, and because I don't want to carry that with me all the time.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: Now it's not to say that I regret the situation, like I think it was beautiful and it served its purpose, of course, and I appreciate and I look back fondly on like those memories.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: But also sometimes, in certain situations, certain people you know, we form those attachments, we use sex as false intimacy.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: We're so attached and we're so connected and we want to invite people over or whatever it is for the act of sex, when really what we want is intimacy and connection.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: And we can confuse the two.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: We can confuse the sexual intimacy with real intimacy, right, and I think it's really important to discern those two.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: And because I have I've done that even recently but I've caught myself where I wanted actual closeness with somebody and so I'll send them a little text message or I'll go to do it or I'll invite go to invite them over for like one reason and I'm like no, that's actually not the bond that I want right now.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: I want to create something deeper and more meaningful and not to say that that's not going to happen as a result of those connections.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: But I think when you want something that is real and genuine and long lasting, of course everybody's different and we'll get into that a little bit, of course, with astrology and human design.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: But that, being aware of the false intimacy that can be created, right Like we can have somebody continue to come back for the sole purpose of sex, but if there's no other bond or connection keeping them there right Again, especially with men, because they don't necessarily get attached in the same way.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: So sex is just sex.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: They're more able to have casual sex, just from a purely hormonal, biological standpoint, and that's where we can get ourselves tripped up and hung up and all the things.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Another topic, or another piece of this I think that kind of goes into the beginning, where we started off with societal expectation.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: You know how our parents teach us about sex.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: We're taught.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: You know as children we're taught.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: We're not taught about it.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Really, most of us aren't.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: We're taught not to ask questions.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: And this is where I think astrology is so important, important to understand, because some of us, astrologically, just at a soul level, are more drawn to certain things than other people are.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: Like, when I look at my son's chart, he is a Scorpio rising and I had some questions on Instagram and one of them was like I'm overhearing about Scorpios being sex gods and goddesses.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: But like my son, he is a Scorpio rising and so I really really see that curiosity and inquisitiveness now around it.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: We have those conversations now because I want him to understand and find my questions yeah, she said kind of over Scorpio placements as sex gods, goddesses would love to hear anything else.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: But again, that knowledge that he is a Scorpio rising and he has Mars on his ascendant in Scorpio, I see it right and so to better be able to parent him and guide him and have those conversations, that knowledge is really really helpful when, as my daughter, I mean my son will bring up something about sex and she's like no, stop talking about that, don't do it.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: And so we are like I try and be really open in just like having that dialogue and allowing them to understand.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: You know, like with my son, communication, consent and condom and I don't say the word condom yet, but those two things I always are really important, like boundaries, consent, like don't do something you know.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: If it's a no, it's a no.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: But you know, sex is a creative act, whether you look at it from.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: You know, in human design and the chakras right, we have the solar plexus and the sacral, which are primarily our sexual chakras.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Right, that channel of 59.6, which connects the sacral to the solar plexus, is the most sexual, it's the most sexually potent, powerful magnetic channel in human design, and so the sacral and the solar plexus are highly sexual, and also the sacral and the throat are really connected and this is also really it's their creative energies and their very sexual energies.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: That's why a lot of artists are very sexual, creative energies and they're very sexual energies.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: That's why a lot of artists are very sexual.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: It's just, it's all part of it, because sex in itself is creative.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: I mean, it can create life, but it's so much more than that, right, it's the emotions, the bonds, the energetic attachments there's like so much to it, and so it's really really beautiful and a really powerful, potent energy.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of darkness that can come up with it, which of course makes it taboo and of course makes it something that we don't want to talk about.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: We don't want to go there we want to avoid and I think you know, a lot of times what we resist persists, right.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: So if we're ignoring something, it's going to become bigger, just in itself.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: You know, sex being off limits makes it a bigger thing and makes it more of a draw and more attractive.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: And we're curious and I want to be careful how I say this, because I don't obviously think that you know any sexual act that is harming someone else is not okay and I also think that there's a way to avoid that in having the conversations, in not demonizing sex, in not saying that something is wrong or bad.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: I was having a conversation with someone at work just about legalizing prostitution and I think there will always be some sort of underground something.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: Even if you legalize prostitution all over the world, there will still be some sort of underground something.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Even if you legalize prostitution all over the world, there will still be some sort of like dark underground thing, because there is a piece.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: You know, we are humans and where there's light there's dark, and I think there's always going to be sort of a darker side to it.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: I think we have, some of us have, sexual preferences due to trauma, to trauma, and I think that it can be expressed and explored in a healthy way with two consenting adults and can be played out in certain ways.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: And again, that's where communication comes in, consent comes in.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: They're just really, really important.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: I think being able to explore it and being open to things and having those conversations and understanding you know, safe words and all those things because I don't think that you know, think about like BDSM or bondage or any of those things are not inherently bad.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Right, they may be the more taboo aspects of sex and I think it's healthy to explore them.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: And if that's something that you're interested in, absolutely like, I would be lying if I said I wasn't interested in.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: I've always been, always been of the mind to that.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: I don't know what I don't like if I haven't tried it, and so for the most part, of course, we all have our limits and we all have our boundaries.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: For the most part, I've always felt like I've been open to explore and experience things because, again, I'm not going to know if I don't like it if I don't try it.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: And I'm a 6'3 in human design and we'll get into that in a little bit, but that's all.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: Trial and error, bonds made and broken.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: It's figuring things out, it's failing, it's getting up and it's trying again.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: And so I think part of that is like always wanting to explore and experience and figure things out and see what I like.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: And I think also with age, as you get older, you know they say like 30s are like dirty 30s, but I truly just believe that it is so because, just because of the cycle of life and also because when you're in your 30s it's like you've sort of explored and figured out things that you do, like you've probably, after your sad return, come into some sort of awareness.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Maybe communication is better, easier, if you're, if you're working on yourself.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Of course there are people who go through their whole life and don't work on themselves but I think like the ability to ask for what you want and to be open to those things makes it a lot more fun.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: And I'm sure there's a whole hormonal reason as well.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: I just don't know why they say like dirty 30s, but it like truly I feel like is true, and for me it's really just been that ability to reflect back and see my experiences, knowing what I like, knowing how to ask for what I like and exploring things in a healthy way, which again has come through experience and it's come through time.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: But again, like kind of going back to that darkness and sex and and Lorna Letta and I were talking about doing a whole episode just on darkness, because I find it so fascinating and again, like I said, I have Jupiter in the eighth house and so it's always expanding me just like understanding those things.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Um, I wanted to let me check real quick.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, one of the comments that I got on Instagram was it's a beautiful thing and people need to understand that, and I truly, truly do believe that and, again, I do believe that there is very real trauma that some people have around it.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: And also, I think when you have healthy, consensual sex, it can be really healing as well, incredibly healing.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Someone else said I think my Scorpio son and I son would love to know anything and everything about sex, of course, and so, of course, when we're looking at astrology, I'll dive into astrology a little bit.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, I did want to talk about birth control.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: I think this is a huge one.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: So I think birth control you know, when birth control first was created, it was allowing women to have control over the body, have ownership over the body when they were going to get pregnant when they weren't, when they wanted to work, when they wanted to stay at home, and it's a beautiful thing.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: However, and again, everybody has their own journey with birth control.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: If you're on it and you love it, great fine.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's amazing.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: I was on it for almost 20 years.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I got off of it two years ago and I've never literally felt more in my body and more better, and I still.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: I'm a highly emotional being, so I have so many ups and downs, of course, but I feel much more emotionally stable, if that's possible, like for sure.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: I definitely feel a lot more emotionally stable and better able to regulate.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: And there are so many studies on birth control, there are a lot of books on birth control.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of stuff out there.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: We just don't know.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: Like women are just so like disconnected from their bodies for so many reasons.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: Like we don't understand that we can only get pregnant like a handful of days out of the month.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: We don't really track our cycle.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: We take birth, birth control, it's a whole thing and, again, like no shade or shame to anybody, like I said, I was on it for 20 years and it served the purpose, but when I got off birth control I felt like liberated in my system and I was interviewing somebody on the podcast and we were talking about getting off birth control.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: We're both sacral beings.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: She was a pure sacral.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I'm an emotional MG but her authority was sacral and it was almost like when you liberate the sacral, when you take out the hormonal birth control, it literally frees your sacral.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: You have so much more of a connection with your body because you literally can hear it and when women are on birth control it literally changes them hormonally so much that they're attracted to people they wouldn't normally be attracted to, which is wild, right, like I think about everybody, like I was I met or was like with when I was on birth control.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: And you think about it.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: It's like was I even attracted to them, like I don't know, like everybody in the last couple years I feel like has been more authentically aligned to me, like it's just a different energetic with these people and it's been like I think, literally I think everybody in the last two years that I've dated has felt so much easier to me than people before.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: Now the things that I experienced in relationships are a little bit more challenging just because of trauma and like doing the work and trying to find myself and understanding what I want and setting boundaries and like all the difficult things that are normal when you're healing and growing.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: But just that birth control piece I find to be absolutely fascinating.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Like we're just completely we're attracted to different people when we're on birth control and when we're not, because there are even people that I dated when I was on birth control and then I looked back and I'm like why?
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: You know, like why was I even like I appreciate every single person that I've dated or met along the way.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: But, yeah, some people I'm like why was I attracted to them?
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: Was that the birth control?
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Was that me?
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Of course it's so much more layered than that, but just that would that like kind of blew my mind.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: What was the so okay going back to?
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: I was starting to say something and I what was the so okay Going back to?
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: I was starting to say something and I totally forgot.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: But that's okay, I was talking about the sacral.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: And then someone else said I would love to explore sex types within human design, communication styles etc.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: So okay, let's get into astrology and human design here.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: So we talked about in human design.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: You have generators, which are 70% of the population, have a defined sacral.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: All other types so projectors, reflectors and manifestors do not have a defined sacral.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: So when you have a defined sacral, you are creating the sexual energy, you have consistent access to that sacral, you are creating the sexual energy, you have consistent access to that sacral.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: And so the way you show up in sex, your energy behind sex, you're kind of setting the pace for the sexual experience as a sacral being.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: If you are a non-sacral being, so again that's a reflector, a projector or a manifester you are taking in and amplifying the energy of the sacral.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: So you might have two non-energy beings in a relationship, of course.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: And I think at that point, really looking into what your dynamics are, together maybe you create a defined sacral, maybe you don't.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Maybe you have a completely open sacral or maybe you only have like certain certain gates defined.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: But the sacral is sort of like the, the pulse, I guess, guess almost to like that sexual energy, because it's like the energizer bunny, that's the example given.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: It's just like goes and goes and goes the sacral, and that's not to say like all sacral beings are going to be having sex for hours.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: But whatever that pace is for you.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: Of course the different gates mean have different meanings, right.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Like if you have the 59-6, again, that is the most sexual of the gates.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Now another one.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: If you have gate 5, let's say you are very routine-based, so you will literally only be available for sex at a certain time of the day during certain conditions.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: So if it's in the morning, you're only going to be able to say yes or no to sex in the morning.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: It's very like routine and rituals.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: So every single gate in the sacral has a different sexual energy, I guess attached to it, sexual lens attached to it.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: When you look at your chart, everything that is sacral to the emotional solar plexus is going to be more emotional sex right.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: It's going to be more like passion, romance, that kind of like heated sexual experience.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: Anything that goes from the sacral to the spleen is going to be more of a nurturing right.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: So if you have somebody who has a lot of the emotional I've experienced this in past relationships where I'm more of the emotional I want the emotional experience during sex, I want the slow, I want just the music, the candles, the senses, the this, the that and the other thing, and sometimes some people who are more on the nurturing side, can tend to almost just treat it like a business sometimes, which is challenging if you're completely different, and so understanding those differences.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: But again, if you are a non-psychical being, you're know if you're completely different and so understanding those differences.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: But again, if you are a non-psychical being, you're taking it and you're amplifying the sexual energy of others and especially if you're a reflector, you're a complete mirror for your partner.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: And so, again, if you're a reflector being mindful of narcissists, because when you are with a reflector you basically see yourself in a way, and your sexual experience there can be really great.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: And so it might be a little bit more, you know, if you're a generator or whatever, maybe taking attention to see what they want, what they like, what they enjoy, because otherwise you know they, because they are a mirror, mirror, it could just be a reflective experience again, which is great for you, but really taking the moment to consider the other person as well.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: So, again, that 59 is the gate of intimacy, gate six is the gate of conflict, and so this is just like gate six is like the window or the door to the solar plexus, like, am I going to let this in or am I going to not?
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Gate 59 is intimacy.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: So if you have either of these gates, again it's really, it's highly sexual energy.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: You can also look at your profiles for some sexual energy there.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: So when you look at it, the first line is the pursuer or pursued.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: So the first line is either going to pursue someone or is going to be pursued.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: The second line is shyness and boldness, and you'll really notice if you know a second line.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: So that's a 2-4 or 2-5 or a 5-2, 6-2.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: They really sort of oscillate between these two.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: This sort of shyness, this timid thing.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: It doesn't mean they are shy, but there can be like, yeah, I guess just like a timidness or something being held back, or they'll be like super bold, right, that's sort of what they go between.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: The fifth line is bonds made and broken.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: This is experimentation, this is trial and error, this is literally like you.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: They like third lines have to break those bonds and come back and recreate them.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: I used to wonder when I was first learning human design, I was like well, I'm a six, three.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: So you know, when I look back at like um, unhealthy, toxic relationships, part of me always wonders like am I, was I attracted to that because I was six, six, three, because when you're fighting you're breaking the bonds and you can make up and bring it back right, and so even when you think about sex it's like we are making and breaking bonds or like even when you're fighting, the sex always is just a little bit more intense and passionate when you're making up right, and so that sort of third line theme can be in there.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: And then you have the fourth line, confidant or not, and a fourth line will always be making friends with you before they like commit to you or before they have a sexual experience with you.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Now, that's not like a hard and fast rule, but the fourth line that's kind of what it energetically embodies is just this like really wanting to like be close and make a friendship based before anything else happens.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: The fifth line.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: The fifth line is the seducer or the seduce, and so you think about the fifth line it's projected, it's the projection field, they're projected on or they're projected outwards, and so that seducer, seduced, it is a very seductive and it is a very sexual line quality to have.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: So then the sixth line is soulmates or not.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: So it's sort of always seeking soulmates, that 59.6, so if you have a gate 59 and it's in 0.6 line quality six this one specifically is the one night stand, and now that doesn't mean that you're promiscuous and you're out there like sleeping with everybody, but you're sort of always like seeking that sort of that energy of like is this for me, is this my soulmate?
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: And if not, we're going to leave them right and so all the lines that you might have.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: So the 1-3 is the pursuer pursued and then bonds made and broken.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: So of course that first line is conscious.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: The second line is unconscious.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: The 1-4 is the pursuer pursued, confidant or not.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: The 2-4, shyness, boldness and the confidant or not.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: The 2-5, shyness, boldness.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: And then the seducer seduced, three, five bonds made and broken, seducer seduced, three, six bonds made and broken.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: Soulmates are not four, six, confidant or not.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Souls, soulmates are not four, one, confidant or not, pursuer or pursued.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Five, one seducer seduced and pursuer pursued.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Five, two seducer seduced, shyness, boldness.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Six, two soulmates are not shyness, boldness.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: Six, three soulmates are not shyness, boldness.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: 6-3, soulmates are not.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Bonds made and broken.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: So these are sort of just like all of the sexual themes of the line, qualities.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: So this can be your profile, but you can take it more than just the profile and just put it as line qualities to any solar plexus or sacral gates, as line qualities to any solar plexus or sacral gates.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: Again, like we said, the emotional solar plexus side is more emotional attachment to sex and the spleen side is more nourishing.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: It can feel a little bit colder because it doesn't have that emotional attachment.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: It's more nurturing and sort of like providing sort of energy.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: So it can feel a lot colder, especially if you are someone who is a lot more emotional.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: It can be challenging.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: And then when you're looking at astrology, of course I know, I know Scorpio, but truly when I think of like sex in astrology, the first thing I think about is the Taurus-Scorpio axis.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to have to talk about it.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Taurus I'm a Taurus is the Taurus Scorpio axis.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to have to talk about it.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: Taurus I'm a Taurus, so I love Taurus.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: But Taurus is like sensual, right, when we think of Venus rules Taurus and Venus is relationships, it's money, it's morals, values, art, beauty, it's all these beautiful things.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: And I feel like Taurus is more like raw, sensual, like Mother Earth, like wild woman type of energy.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: And then Scorpio, the other hand, is deep and sexual.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: This is scorpio rules sex organs and torus rules the throat.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: So remember we talked about the chakras.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: The sacral and the throat are highly connected.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: It's creative energy, it's sexual energy and so even when you look at this torus-Scorpio axis, you have the throat, that Taurus rules, which is manifestation, communication, which are huge pieces to sex, and then you have Scorpio, which literally rules the sex organs, so of course that's a huge piece to sex.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: Again, scorpio is deep, dark, it's the taboo, it's the occults, the things are just sort of off limits.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: So it's always going to explore those depths of things right.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: Aries is ruled by Mars and Mars is attraction, it is sex, it is action, it is assertion, it is all these things.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: It's very quick and fiery and Mars also rules Scorpio.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: So there's that play too.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: But Aries is like the go-getter when you look at in your chart for Mars, mars is like what you are attracted to.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: So I figured this out.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: I was rewatching an interview that I had with Jesse Echols, like gosh, I think it was like two years ago.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: But I've always and if you've listened to this, you know my thing with Capricorn moons.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: I attract them everywhere.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: There's even people at work that are Capricorn moons or Capricorns, just the Capricorn energy.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: But I have Mars and Capricorn and so literally I'm attracting Capricorns because I find them attractive, right, the energetically.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I like the groundedness, I like the organization, I like the, like the checklist and all the things that make sense, the logic.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: But I'm not that way.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: But I appreciate that in other people, like I would hire a Capricorn for sure to like set things up and organize things for me and then I'll do it right.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: But I love the, the work ethic and I and I love the energy of a capricorn.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: So, over mars is in your chart, is also where you may find your attraction is um, taurus, of course.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: Then we have the, the second house, and second house and eighth house axis.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: So this is self-worth, which is hugely important, right, when we're talking about sex self, this is self-worth, which is hugely important, right, we're talking about self-worth and money.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: And of course, the eighth house again, drugs, sex, rock and roll, the things.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: Pluto also rules Scorpio.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: So seeing where Pluto is in your chart, and there Pluto is more where the darkness comes in when it comes to sex.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: So you know, hades, moon or whatever Pluto is touching, if it's touching your Venus or if it's touching your Mars.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: There's going to be an element of darkness there.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: Like I said, I have I don't I didn't say it in this episode, but I've talked about it before on my moon, square, pluto, um, and so there's, there's an element of depth and darkness that's brought into my emotional experience, which you know from trauma or whatever, can be then translated into sex and if we're not careful it can go certain ways, and so those are big ones.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: I think you know the fourth house is ruled by cancer and it's ruled by the moon.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: So of course all of our emotional experiences are sexual, not all of our.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: I think I worded that incorrectly.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: Our emotional experiences can be sexual.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: Not everybody is emotional in sex, but I think that's a big player as well.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Cancer really wants to nourish and take care of, but of course cancer has a hard shell, so it can leave you out or it can take you in.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: It really really depends.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: Pisces I always think of Pisces too when I think about sex, because Pisces can be codependent.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: It can be a people pleaser, it can be addicted, so in addiction it can be addicted to.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: Sexces can be really.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: It can be codependent and can be a people pleaser.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: It can be addicted.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: So in addiction it can be addicted to.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: Sex can be one of the things.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: Of course, drugs, sex, like any of those things, are very Pisces.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: Right, pisces is really spiritual.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: It's really hard to be like grounded into this earth.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: I was having a conversation with two people at work today and they were talking about their, their signs and the signs of people they're dating, and that's that other thing.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: One girl goes oh my gosh, I can never date a Pisces man.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: I was just laughing.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: But yeah, pisces, it does have that addiction codependent.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: So we really have to be careful as well with Pisces.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: And then, gosh, I'm trying to think we have Virgo.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: So Virgo, actually, I heard somewhere once and I don't remember where it was, but they were saying it was saying it was like a meme, but it was like, if astrology isn't real, tell me why all Virgos like public sex.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: And I had to laugh because I did it.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Someone was a Virgo rising and that was their thing, and so it was just like funny but true.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: And so I mean every sign, everything has a layer of sex in there, because we are sexual beings, right, like libra, it's, you know, balance and harmony and all these things.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: It can be people-pleasing or whatever, but it's ruled by venus, which is also one of the planets that really has to do with sex.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Jupiter, jupiter, you know abundance uh, jupiter is very much about sex as well.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: Right, it's abundance.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: It expands on anything that it touches.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: Saturn, you know, if you have Venus square Saturn or Venus opposite Saturn, or any sexual energy, or if it's in a sign that's highly sexual, it's going to restrict a little bit.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: It's about karma, and so it's just.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: There's so much, and I think that in itself could be an entire episode.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: But really understanding the dynamics of you and I think that in itself could be an entire episode but really understanding the dynamics of you, and, of course, when you're looking at your partner, like, what are their dynamics in sex?
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: I dated somebody that had Mars on the ascendant conjunct, chiron, and before we became sexual, I was like, well, I bet you, there's some sort of sexual wounding there, and I was able to see that once we engaged, right once we became intimate in that way, and so I think it's really helpful in just like understanding those dynamics and how it might present for people.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: And of course, I always I don't.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: I had to take a pause for a little bit when I was dating people, because I would look at their chart and I would just then see the chart when I saw them, instead of letting them teach me their chart, which was such a beautiful reframe.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: And I really try now because because even like the reflector, I his chart is actually a little bit confusing, so I've just had to like throw it to the wind and be like you know what he will teach me what his chart is saying, because there's like there's a lot, there's a lot in there that I'm like unpacking and I'm like, oh my gosh, I could do a whole like analysis on the chart, but I also really appreciate the dynamic and so I'm just sort of like letting that unfold for me and like I'll ask questions as I see them and he's Pisces rising, so he's just like open to all that stuff, but it's just a really interesting way to like look at it.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: But, um, but yeah, I mean sex is just such a fascinating, fascinating topic to me and I feel like there are so, so many places I could go with this conversation and I hope I did the topic worthy or justice of some sort.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: I know we're getting to a little bit longer of a solo episode.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: But, yeah, I would love to hear from you if there's any particular thing or I would love to have a guest on.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: I have somebody coming.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: Have somebody coming on, um, maybe next month?
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: That we talked about pornography and, um, so I'm definitely it's definitely a topic that I will be continuing to dive into on the podcast and I have dove into it before on the podcast.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: But, uh, I just had read that book, return to Eros, and it just like had me thinking of of sex and and I was just moving through my own things with it, and so I wanted to come and just have a conversation here.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: So, again, um, dm me, reach out to me if you enjoyed this episode or if there's something you want to talk about or have a conversation on.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: Or if there's something I didn't talk about, or if there's something I did talk about and you want to just be curious and have an open conversation, please DM me on Instagram at Rochelle Christian.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: That's R-O-C-H-E-L-L-E dot.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: C-h-r-i-s-t-i-n-e.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: I'm even, as I'm wrapping this up, I'm like, oh my gosh, I can talk about this Because I do think, like you know, sexual trauma is a real thing and, like I said in the beginning, I think that we can heal through sex, through healthy, conscious, intentional, consensual sex, and it's being open to having those conversations and those experiences.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: But I think there's a lot of work that we have to do as well.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: I'm going to wrap it up, but yeah, you can catch me on Instagram.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: You can get my website RachelleCrescentcom.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Tiktok.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: I'm not as active on keep trying substack.
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: I am on substack.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: I'm writing articles on there mix between paid and free.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: But if you want to support me, go over there.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: It's eight dollars a month and I'm deep, diving into specific transits and just writing, writing posts and things like that, so you can get me over there.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: The collective open this is a membership space where myself and five other beautiful souls are guiding and it's such a beautiful container because it's not just like us guiding.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's a community thing right, where there's engagement both ways and we're growing together and we're learning together and it's so, so, so incredible.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: So the doors for that are still open.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: The soul care bundle we did this last year and we did it the year before.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: There are 12 offerings inside the soul cart bundle.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: It is literally 900 plus dollars worth of courses.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: There are two reading options that you can get in there.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: One is akashic records, I think, and then the other one is human design.
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: So you will get two readings and you will get 10 other just offerings.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: I have my emotional workshop, my emotions workshop, in there.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: As part of it there is Akashic Records, there is Gene Keys, there is astrology, there's human design, there's so, so, so much, and so this is $155.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: You have lifetime access to it and I will leave that link in the show notes as well.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: And then holistic human design academy is nine weeks to remembering who you are.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: We really get deep with your chart, we unpack it, and my goal is to empower you to not only remember who you are, but also to give you the tools and the knowledge to further dive into it with yours for yourself.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: You can then look into other people's, you can track the trends.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: It's like I want to hand you all the tools again.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: You will also have lifetime access to that program, and I think that's it.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: But I thank you so much for listening to this episode.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: Um, I will be back next week with another one.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: You.