Latest / DA CREW Podcast / DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ EPISODE #95_HOST LATONYA LITTLEJOHN_(SHOW #8)

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DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ EPISODE #95_HOST LATONYA LITTLEJOHN_(SHOW #8) · DA CREW Podcast

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  Good evening, good evening, good evening. Thank you for joining The Crew
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  podcast Episode ninety five, show number eight or delayed but not ton the podcast.
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  UM. On this evening, I have a very special guest, Michelan
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  white Size. But before I bring her up, I would like to read
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  a scripture UM, as I always do, and tonight I'll be reading Psalms
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  thirty four and eighteen. God is near to those who have a broken heart
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  and saves those who have a crushed spirit. And I want you all to
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  ponder on that a little bit, because we've all endured some type of pain,
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  some type of hurt that you know, you just can't explain. It
• 4:30
  is there, is present, and you have to face it. So with
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  that being said, I want to welcome my guest, Salon Whiteside. Hey,
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  Hey, how are you? I'm good, so allow me to look
• 4:55
  on you for a little bit for about twenty thirty minutes. So, okay,
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  I want to say we met in elementary school. I was one of
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  the children that got picked on more than anything. And I thank God for
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  you because you were the person that saved me more than you did more for
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  me than the teachers did. Actually, as far as protecting me, I
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  thank god that you don't see the disability that you just see meat. And
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  so we carried that from second grade up to now. We're forty four year
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  old women with families and stuff, and you've always been by my side.
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  And I just need you to know that I always appreciate you. I love
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  you, and UM, I am so proud to call you a sister.
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  So, UM, what I want to talk to you tonight about. UM,
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  something we both did. We both became teenage mothers. Yeah, so
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  being a teenage mom when you first found out that you were pregnant, what
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  went through your mind? Oh, I'm out, I'm being trouble. My
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  mom will go get me. I do know that when you found out you
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  were pregnant, that I'm the first person you told. Yeah, I don't
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  know if you told shot or if I actually knew before he knew. But
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  wow, and it's been crazy, you know, just just watching my god
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  daughter grow and become the person she is. Um. We haven't always agreed
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  with some of the stuff she do, but nonetheless we love her. And
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  UM. Then you you turned around and gave me a guy so and UM
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  very proud of that young man. UM, And unfortunately we lost him to
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  gun violence. And my heart continues to go out to you. UM.
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  There's not enough words in the English vocabulary that can actually be said to say
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  how you might be feeling. So UM, I want to ask you how
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  are you mentally? How are you handling all of this mentally? Mentally?
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  It's hard? But since I have baby girl and my husband on my side
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  and my family, ain't you checking on me and stuff? It's keeping me
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  mentally here because if not, if I don't have none of y'all, no,
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  I wouldn't want to be here anymore because that was my baby. He
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  didn't do nothing wrong. He was going to college. He had a three
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  point nine five GPA and he had a full scholarship to go to college.
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  So, yes, this is real hard, but I'm dealing with it,
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  and I'm praying to God. My strength because I don't put this on nobody,
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  no body, this is hard. Let's not leave out the fact that
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  he was a beast on their football feel and he loved footboy. That's how
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  he talked about what was football football And he used to clown around a lot
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  of time, get all your nerves. But when you met him, it
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  was to love him. He was just that's just me. He's just like
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  me. He don't see no difference, none of that. Yeah. Um,
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  And that's one of the things that stood out for me about you,
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  being that I was born with spina bifida and not knowing what that was growing
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  up and you know, having to do things a little different, having to
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  wear a diaper and all of that stuff. You know, people bullied me
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  and wanted to fight, and you know picked that the way I walked.
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  And I remember one time in particular, Um, I won't call his name,
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  but he said some very roots stuff and you just nicely got up who
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  didn't say nothing, and just went the willing on this man. And from
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  that day to this day, he don't bother me. He see me,
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  he speaks, He keep it moving. And I'm not saying that everybody needs
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  a bully in their life because I don't look at you as a bully.
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  I don't You're not a bully. But um, I feel like everybody needs
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  that one person that doesn't question who they are, who loves them unconditional,
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  regardless of a disability of not and You've been that for me, and I
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  can only pray that I've been the same for you. Um we've I've been
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  by your side through some of the craziest stuff. We've been like this for
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  as long as I can remember, and I wouldn't change the thing, right.
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  So, um, I know that you have a baby now and Miss
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  Miracle is a year old. What is that like starting all over? It
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  was something that I had had to learn it all over again because that's eighteen
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  years apart. So this was something different. But it's a love that that
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  you can't explay for a little one to love you as much as she loves
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  us. Yeah, and you know, from the first time I met her,
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  I told you, I was like, man, this is you all
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  day? Like yeah, definitely pity she has your personality and that's why I
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  always refer to her as little Shaloon. And you know, um hey was
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  the original. But you know a miracle then came in and she just do
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  her. Yeah. And so you know, um, being that you adopted
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  her, what was that like for you to love a child, give a
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  child love that you didn't birth from your own body, It's still the same.
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  It's just like I gave birth to her. Even though I didn't give
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  her birth to her, it's just like I gave birth. I don't see
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  her any difference to me. She died for her in the in the that
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  purchase body for me. Right. I wish more adopted parents looked at the
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  situation like that, but unfortunately we have, you know, cases where the
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  children are being neglected and mistreat didn't use for money and things like that.
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  And so I applaud you for starting, but eighteen years later, because you
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  know, we were young girls when we initially set out into motherhood. So
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  you know, doing this now in our forties it hit a little different.
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  Yeah, because trust me, I got a grand baby and she's too and
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  she keeps me on my toes. That little girl, she's something else.
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  And I know miracle is too. Yeah. So, um, I want
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  to ask you if you have any advice that you would give to somebody that
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  is planning to adopt a baby. Um, what would you what advice would
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  you give them before they, you know, make that decision to adopt to
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  papa to papa to themselves and make sure that's what they want. Okay,
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  So how was your husband with all of this? How does he feel about
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  being a daddy all over it again after all these years? All he loves
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  it. At first he was scared the holder, but now that you can't
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  separate them too, that's the girl almost definitely. I know the last time
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  you came by the house, her and her daddy, her head at the
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  back of the truck and she was just doing her own little thing. Yep.
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  So um, you know, we we've all been dealing with the loss
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  of our w um in our own way, and it's never been my intention
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  to overcrowd your space, but you know, as your friend, I feel
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  like I have to ride this one out with you. Like I mean,
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  you know, Trivida lost her mom a few weeks before we lost our w
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  so I've been feeling all of this. Like I was telling her, I
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  feel like in the sense that I'm carrying some of the weight that you guys
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  are going through. And I can honestly say I don't mind because we're family,
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  and so you know, I'm rocking with you to the wheels fall off.
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  And you know, when we got to that church and lined up,
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  that person was trying to make everybody go one way, and I'm like,
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  oh, I'm with the family, So held me behind somebody in the family,
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  because I'm in the family, right. But never in my wildest dreams
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  that I think we'd ever be doing something like that. UM at a time
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  like this, you know, UM, when he had so much to look
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  forward to, UM, you as his mom had so much to look forward
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  to. UM me just seeing him through you know, social media and stuff
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  like that, because I hadn't really been around him since he was little,
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  you know, playing you know, little peewee football and stuff like that.
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  But nevertheless, the love has always been there. UM. Deja talks about
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  him all the time like, I mean, know, my brother r W.
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  Rashaw did this, Rashad did that. He tells everybody I'm his guys
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  sister. So we knew who we were to him. You know, we
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  didn't have to we didn't have to question it. Now, you gave my
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  son's an opportunity to record and take pictures at your wedding beautiful. Um you
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  know in those pictures you will have, you know, they're gonna carry you
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  some days when you feel like you just have nothing else to give, you
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  have to look at the memories and you know, and you got some great
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  memories. Like um Man, Rica was talking about your wedding the other day.
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  We were talking about Shot and we were talking about how at the beginning
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  of the wedding, you know, Kita left to go do something, and
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  when she left, tay head and everybody to come out of the church.
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  Yeah, and so I'm sitting there pushing you down in the back of the
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  little gonna get down, get down, get down, and you know,
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  everybody's like looking around. I was like, why are they coming out the
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  church? And you was like ho, and I was like everybody And so
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  you know, when Kitta came that and she was like, why are y'all
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  outside? And everybody tasted you said for us to come outside, except for
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  Rico. Rico's like, yeah, I'm not doing that. I'm staying right
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  here. And so you know, to even get on the inside of the
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  church. When Um, before you and I walked down the aisle, Rico
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  said, the Shot was standing behind him, and he said, watch take
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  come down this aisle. He said, I'm gonna count three and watch us
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  start crying. She showed out real bad. But those are the memories that
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  I carry. UM, like if I could get a repeat of your wit
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  and not definitely do it again the same way, because even with me tripping
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  over your dress and all of that going down my dress, we were about
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  to fall out, both of us nervous. But you know, I'm thankful
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  for you and I'm grateful that you are in the space that you're in today
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  because I know what you're dealing with is not easy. Um, it's not
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  UM, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, so especially not my best
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  friend. So, UM, how are you coping? Like? Are you
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  talking to somebody? Um? Are you praying? Are you relying on God?
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  I pray all the time. Right now, I'm just talking to God.
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  I'm not out. I talked to my husband too, because he stays
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  on me. But mostly I'm talking to God because that's why I'm about to
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  get my strength wrong right. And I will say, you've carried yourself in
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  a way, UM during all of this that, Um, it's amazing to
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  see because like you know anybody else wouldn't be able to walk in the strength
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  that you've carried throughout this because you know, not only are you having to
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  be strong for yourself, but you got two other children that, um,
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  that need you, because regardless of how crazy and out there take is,
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  that's your first baby, and she still she still needs you. Yeah.
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  I mean she grown and living her life, living her best life. Yeah,
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  but you know she still needs you and to be able to, you
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  know, turn to you when she's missing her brother or you know, or
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  missing you because you know, y'all are not in the same state at the
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  moment. So and and I know what she feels like because you just up
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  and left. And I was like, wait a minute, hold the horses
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  who told her she could move? But you tied for me to be it
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  was time for me to get away. I was I had them been through
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  a lot, so it was time. Yeah, you told me that.
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  Um, you waited to tell me that you were moving because you didn't know
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  how I was gonna handle it, right, Um, I am a little
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  funny when it comes to you in Trevida, Like if if she were to
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  ever move out out of state, I'm just like, you know, what,
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  But um, I'm happy to see that you both are striving and thriving
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  and putting one foot in front of the other and not letting any of what's
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  going on consume you. Um. You know, you and I both have
• 22:25
  talked about the situation. We both have our theories on how it happened,
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  why it happened, why it didn't happen another way, and you know,
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  things of that nature. But at the end of the day, I just
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  want our w to get the justice he deserves so that he can truly rest
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  in peace, you know, because he had a lot going for him.
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  Yea, I say, y'all raised that board, right, you know he
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  um he nobody's perfect, but he was close enough. And we ain't do
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  that. That's right, We did that right, right, right, And
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  so that's something you carry and you keep that in your heart and know that
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  God has you. God has him and whenever you are down or whatever,
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  and you just need somebody to listen. If you don't, if you don't,
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  won't me to talk, just cut me off before I start like,
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  Hey, I just need you to listen. Shut up, just listen.
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  And I got you. You you are not you are not going through this
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  by yourself. You are not m anything you need me to show up for.
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  Um, if I have to get Linda's car, we on the way.
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  UM. But no, seriously, UM, you're not You're not in
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  this by yourself. UM. We all took a loss with that one.
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  We all took a loss. UM. I don't want to keep you because
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  yeah, work and stuff and you gotta work and things of that nature.
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  But I want to ask you one last thing. Um, what would you
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  tell another mom that is going through what you're going through right now? I
• 24:44
  would tell them to make sure they keep God first and pray to him at
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  all times. And do not keep yourself busy. Do not be by yourself
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  because your melo state by yourself, it's not good, right, So,
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  and I want you to adhere to your own advice, like I don't want
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  you suffering in silence. UM, if you need me, I'm a phone
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  call away. UM, I'm a visit away. Because you were supposed to
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  stop by the hospital offers that you later about that. I let you slide
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  on that one. But I know that I love you. UM, I
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  cherish you, and UM I put nobody above you. You you intrivita y'all
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  have y'all own piece of my heart like, y'all own it like and UM,
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  you know God, when God was giving out friends, he gave me
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  the best wounds. So I'm grateful and I'm thankful. Um, I'm thankful
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  that you decided to come and talk to me tonight. I know I've probably
• 26:03
  been doing most of them talking because you don't talk a lot. No,
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  I doubt you're more action than than than talking. But um, nonetheless,
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  it's always great to see your face. UM. I'm happy to have you
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  here. Um. I'm loving and hugging on you eight ten hours away.
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  UM, and just know that if you need me at anytime, any hour
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  of the day, I don't care what the situation is. If you again
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  want to talk, kick, scream, curse, bunch of wall I got
• 26:48
  you. We can we can do that, you know. UM. So
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  this is it's it's it's tough for me to this is. This is hard,
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  Um, but you're strong. You're gonna get through it because I'm gonna
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  make sure you get through it. Um, just like I have been with
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  Trevida. UM, you know, nothing can prepare you, and I mean
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  you you've gone through that. Nothing compared, you can compare prepare you for
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  the loss of your mother. So my dad, my mother in law,
• 27:30
  now my son. Yeah. So I mean you're taking these hits pretty much
• 27:37
  back to back to back, and you know, um, there's a lesson
• 27:45
  in it. We don't know what it is. Um, only God knows.
• 27:52
  We can't question God and why he does what he does. All we
• 27:57
  can do is trust in him and trust than his word and his way and
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  just continue to put our best foot forward and continue to live for life and
• 28:11
  live it more abundantly um as he would have us to do. So Um
• 28:18
  again, I want to thank you for coming to hear me run my mouth,
• 28:26
  because That's what I've been doing. But um, you know, um
• 28:34
  again, if you need me, I'm here, call me teds whatever,
• 28:41
  Facebook, Instagram, snap Ted I'm around. I mean these social media streets.
• 28:51
  Okay. I think he was supporting me and loving me and loving my
• 28:59
  my fath family the way they she because they love you too, you know.
• 29:04
  Linda. Linda is like you know, when I told her what happened,
• 29:10
  she was like, no, not my baby, Chalin, No.
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  And she wasn't able to get to you because they had a funeral at the
• 29:18
  funeral home she works at or whatever. But nonetheless, every time I talked
• 29:23
  to her, she asked me, if I talk to you, So this
• 29:26
  is me telling you and everybody that you know, Linda loves you. I
• 29:32
  know, but UM, you know, but we're continuing to keep you in
• 29:40
  prayer. Um, We're keeping you lifted, We're keeping your family lifted,
• 29:45
  and we love you. And so with that, I'm gonna in the show
• 29:55
  tonight. UM. I want to thank everybody for watching tonight. U.
• 30:02
  I want to tell you all to make sure the people you have around you
• 30:07
  are the people who are going to love you unconditionally, who are gonna love
• 30:14
  you through all her harm, pain, shame, no matter what the situation
• 30:19
  is. Who's gonna stand by you and when you fall, they fall with
• 30:23
  you. If you can't have that type of friend with you by your side,
• 30:29
  then I don't know what to tell you. Because mine, they they
• 30:33
  stand by me, They stand solid, and I stand solid beside them as
• 30:41
  well. Join me on Monday where I will have a special guest, my
• 30:49
  brother in law, doctor Carlos Jay Little John UM, and we're gonna be
• 30:55
  talking about um humbling beginnings, just from where he started to where he is
• 31:03
  now. So UM again, I thank you all for watching Shalan, I
• 31:07
  thank you for stopping by. UM. I was glad I got to hang
• 31:12
  out with you tonight and I hope to have you back. UM. I
• 31:18
  would like to do a show on dealing with grieving and if if you're filling
• 31:25
  up to it, I would like to. I would like to have you
• 31:27
  back, and you know, share, um the story of our baby.
• 31:33
  And you know, maybe your story can save somebody else, you know,
• 31:41
  UM, or help heal somebody else. You know, we never know what
• 31:47
  other people are going through until we talk to him. Right. So again,
• 31:52
  my door is always open if you want to be on the show,
• 31:56
  if you got something you want to get out your chest opened a platform for
• 32:00
  you. So UM again, thank you everybody. UM, I love you
• 32:07
  all. UM, It's just so much more I would like to say,
• 32:12
  but I'm trying to stay on the timeline and respect the fact that she's at
• 32:17
  work. But just know that, UM, when you're delayed, it doesn't
• 32:24
  mean that you denied. God will not deny anything that is meant for you.
• 32:30
  What's for you will find you. And with that being said, I
• 32:34
  thank you. I love y'all. Good night, and for a Friday of
• 32:44
  each money you don't want to be fine,