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From Scarred to Seen: How I Learned to Love My Reflection · Groove with Portia

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Group Porsche, the podcast that uncovers the hidden
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: treasures within grief. I'm your host, Porsche the Producer, and
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I'm inviting you to join me on a transformative journey
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: where we were exchange laughter, of course the best medicine
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: of them all, reflect on cherished memories, Remember that time
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: that the little boy grabbed my hand instead of his
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: mother's at the amusement park yikes, And of course discover
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: gratitude while navigating one of the life's hardest challenges lost.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: So get ready to gree with me, Porsche the Producer,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: let's dive in. Hello everybody, and welcome back to Grow
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: with Porsche. I'm your host, Porsche Booker, and as always,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: don't forget to like, share and subscribe to keep it
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: with the latest and greatest of all with Greul Porscha.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: And of course if you love me so today everybody,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: you know I love to have individuals who have had
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: a unique grief path, those of you who know my
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: story of losing both my parents in the last three years.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: But I have an individual on today who didn't lose
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: a person. They lost a piece of themselves from going
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: through several different life altering surgeries to preserve their life.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: And so today everybody, I want to introduce mister Terry Heally. Terry,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: how are you doing today?
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Doing great? Thanks Porsche for having me on your show.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Terry, what an honor it is to have you, because
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: I know there's so many people out there that have
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: been struggling with their own grief journey because of the
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: physical differences that they may have, and I want to
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: have you want to really provide that level of inspiration
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  Speaker 1: and reignite that somebody's voice, no matter what they've gone through,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: can leave an em leave a mark on somebody else
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: to help them to get out of that if you
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: want to call it like prison of life. So, Terry,
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: before we jump into the conversation, I always love to
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: start my conversations with gratitude. What are you grateful for today?
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Oh?
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  Speaker 3: I'm glad you started there because that is my daily practice.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: So I do it in the morning and I do
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: it at night. I'm grateful today for my health. I'm
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: grateful that I'm happy, that I'm energized. I'm grateful for
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  Speaker 3: the beautiful day I see outside from my family and
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: my wife. Those are the first things that come to mind.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, Terry, that's why we're connected, because gratitude is my superpower,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: like grief really taught me the benefits of gratitude, because
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  Speaker 1: I'm a firm believer that gratitude is that life jacket
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: that really keeps you afloat through seasons of grief, through
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  Speaker 1: adverse circumstances when you're confused, when you don't know what
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: the outcome is going to be, but the outcome doesn't
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: seem like it's there because you're stuck in the muck,
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: you know. And Terry, I'm sure you is for an
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: audience who's tuning in. You went through over thirty something surgeries,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: right to preserve your face from a deadly cancer, right,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: And I'm curious, Terry, it's been probably quite a few years,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: not just five. But I won't give away your age
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: because we're thirty five forever, right, And I'm curious for
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: an audience, what was your grief journey like when you
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: went through these surgeries and looked at the person who
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: you are in the mirror that has changed from the
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: person you may have envisioned would be the same all
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: the time later.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: That's a great question.
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: There's a lot to unpack there, So yeah, you know,
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: I I was twenty one years old when I experienced this,
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: so appearances matter so much. Right at that age, I
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: went from being what was a homecoming prince in high
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: school is suddenly.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: This guy that I thought looked like the Elephant Man.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: And so it became really important to me based on
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: my doctors telling me that I could get back to
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: the old terry, to do whatever I could to get there.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: And I went through surgery after surgery after surgery. Well
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: there's stories in between that I was fortunate to open
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: myself up to and be inspired by. That opened the
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: door to help me realize that that journey was.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Not the journey that was going to take me to
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: the new Terry.
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  Speaker 3: I was going to have to rebuild and transform myself
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: into somebody else, and through a series of events, I
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: did that. And to this day, I am so grateful
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: that I cut the cord on surgery and said, you know,
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: I got to focus on rebuilding what's inside instead of
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: what's outside.
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  Speaker 2: So, yeah, it was a long journey.
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  Speaker 3: It was a struggle, and I'm not going to say
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: that I figured it all out.
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  Speaker 2: It took me a long time to figure it out.
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  Speaker 3: But fortunately, like I say, because of other people that
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: entered my life and being open to them, I found
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  Speaker 3: a new path and so I'm grateful.
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  Speaker 1: For that path there you brought up. Of course, when
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: we're twenty fun, right, we're going out hanging out with friends.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: You know, obviously you're on the West coast, so you
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: can go to the beach whatever the crazy night life
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: looks like. I'm curious, Terry, what did it take for
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: you to rebuild that confidence and to still hold the
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: confidence that you have today.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, So I.
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  Speaker 3: Will tell you I maybe I had a foundation of
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: being self confident when I was entering my early twenties,
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: you know, before this happened. But I will tell you
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  Speaker 3: that I lost most of it and my self esteem
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: went down the drain. So I figured out that having
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: surgery was not going to help my self confidence anymore,
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: because first of all, I had no control over it.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: I couldn't control the outcomes of the surgeries. Fortunately, I
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: woke up and realized I need to work on myself,
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: and so there was a number of things.
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  Speaker 2: But I would say that, you know, I talk.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: About my survival kit a lot, right, And I would
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: say that I had a really strong faith that gave
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: me a lot of hope and courage throughout the ordeal.
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  Speaker 2: So that was the.
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  Speaker 3: Baseline, right, and then I was surrounded. I surrounded myself
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: with positive people that I trusted, and that gave me
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: positive energy. And I'll tell you the one thing that
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: really helped me to rebuild my confidence.
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  Speaker 2: Was that I was somebody that was very focused and
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: goal oriented.
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  Speaker 3: And so fortunately that didn't leave me when I entered
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: this picture of my new life.
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  Speaker 2: And I I talk a lot about having.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: A singular goal in your personal life, a singular goal
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: in your professional life. It's sort of my philosophy because
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: I feel like when you have too many goals, you
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: don't have any right. Too many priorities means you don't
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  Speaker 3: have any priorities. And so the long story short there
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  Speaker 3: is that when I was able to focus on one
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  Speaker 3: thing at a time, I was able to conquer and
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  Speaker 3: overcome and achieve, and that alone gives you confidence to
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  Speaker 3: feel like man, I did that, and that.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: Was tough and I didn't know if I could make it.
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  Speaker 3: Now I feel even better about myself and I can
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  Speaker 3: move on to the next thing on my list with
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: more confidence and belief in yourself.
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  Speaker 2: Right, It's all about self belief.
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  Speaker 3: So you know, there was a number of other things
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: positive imaging and visualization which connects to the positive mindset.
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  Speaker 3: I don't like to take a lot of credit for
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: this by myself. It was group therapy. There was other
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  Speaker 3: people in my life that entered the picture and I
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: opened myself up to them, and so those are those
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: are kind of the core things that really helped me
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  Speaker 3: start to rebuild who I was. But I think that
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  Speaker 3: I think the other thing is, you know, we talked
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  Speaker 3: about gratitude in the beginning, and gratitude is so essential
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  Speaker 3: to everyone because there's always a million things to be
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  Speaker 3: grateful for. And when you start your day and ends
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  Speaker 3: your day with gratitude, you're automatically in a better place.
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  Speaker 3: Your your mindset is improved from where it was two
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  Speaker 3: minutes ago, and so that just starts to make you
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  Speaker 3: feel more confident in and of itself right, and you
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  Speaker 3: start to feel like, man, this isn't so bad. I
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  Speaker 3: can do this. So that's my long winded answer.
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  Speaker 1: No, but you're spot on though, Terry, right, that gratitude
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  Speaker 1: piece of when you first wake up, right, even if
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  Speaker 1: you had a day of I love to use the
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  Speaker 1: example of when you're walking down the street and you
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: trip over banana peace, and then you fall on the
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: ground and the bird comes and pets you in the eye,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: and then you know, just all the things right, the
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: spiral of all of the unfortunate events, right. But then
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: as you come home that night, you layer head down
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  Speaker 1: that pillar on your like, thank you for that banana
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  Speaker 1: peel that saved me from getting run over by a car.
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  Speaker 1: You know, So we don't always think about how these
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: little setbacks are really a blessing in disguise. And Terry,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: I'm curious for you. You brought up about faith, and
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: I'm curious what did it take for you to hold
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: onto your faith and not run away from it considering
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: that your life had changed. You went from what you
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: mentioned like the prime king to now I'm like Quasimoto
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: to everybody else.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I would say that I had a
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: strong foundation. So it was raised that way, and so
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  Speaker 3: it was always in me that that I had a
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: strong faith and that I could always rely on it.
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  Speaker 2: And that was and I mean this truly, it was
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: a source of hope.
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  Speaker 3: And so I had this connection, right, and I I
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: would pray a lot, and that was sort of a
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: form of visualization, if you will. I mean, it was
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: a very positive process for me because I felt like
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: I was talking to somebody directly every day. But you know,
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: there were, as I said before, there were events and
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: people that entered my life kind of at the right points.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: And there was a guy and I won't I won't
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: tell this story in too long a fashion, but when
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: I was in the hospital and I was faced with
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  Speaker 3: I could die.
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  Speaker 2: I am completely disfigured.
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  Speaker 3: I've got a flap of tissue connected to my face.
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  Speaker 2: I looked like the elephant man. This man entered my
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: room and.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: He looked he didn't even he looked like Jesus Christ
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: to me, right like this, This was a guy with
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: these eyes that were intense. He didn't have big smile
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: on his face, but he was intense. And basically he
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: came in and he said, hey, do you want to pray? Well,
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: obviously he had been sent in because I had registered
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: as a Roman Catholic or whatever. So he came in
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: and he didn't no small talk, but anyway, he prayed
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  Speaker 3: with us, and then he just grabbed my hand and
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: he said.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: Take it away, take it away, take it away. And
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: the intensity of this guy.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I just had an interaction right there with
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: an angel, this guy.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: And so a couple of weeks later, when I got
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: out of the offe, I'm like, I want to see
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: if this guy's real. Where does this guy belong?
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: So I actually tracked him down. But here's the beautiful thing.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: When I tracked him down and told him the impact
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: he had on me and the energy that he gave me,
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: he just looked at me and he said, I'm glad.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: And that was pretty much the extent of it. He
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: wasn't looking for compliments, he wasn't looking for a slap
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: on the back. He was he had a mission and
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: he headed right.
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  Speaker 2: Up the hill back up to UCSF. That's a song,
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: but it was meaningful. It was incredible meaningful.
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  Speaker 3: But there was a lot of things like that that happened,
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: and I think it goes to you touched on it.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: You know, it's being open, aware and alert to what's
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: happening around you. Because that slip on the banana peel,
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: h some people would just discarded as guy that was unfortunate,
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: but no, no, think about it.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: Things happen, yeah, and they could be life changing at anytime.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: And Terry, I love that you shared that story about
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: this guy who really just gave you that seed, that
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: implanted seed of everything's going to work out. Just you know,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: hold on to your faith. I had a story like
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: that before when I was just really struggling in my
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: life mentally. And I remember I was outside of my job.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: This was umpteen years ago, and this complete stranger. See,
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: I couldn't track the stranger down in your case, you
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: could me. I could not because I never even saw
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: what this guy looked like. I just remember I was
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: balling my eyes out in the parking lot at my job.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: I forget what it was. Long story short, this guy
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: comes over to me and he puts his arm around me.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: He said, I'm going to say a prayer for you,
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, sure, and he did. And
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: I just remember, kind of like you, Terry, that was
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: an angel because when I lifted my head up to
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: want to thank him, he was gone. Nobody else was
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: in the parking lot, but I felt him touch me,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: and he just had the softest, most soothing voice, like,
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: whatever you're going through, God has already worked it out.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: Don't worry about anything else. I mean, I just remember
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: that and that was all these years ago.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: You know that gives me the goose bump. That's uh, yeah,
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: it gives me the chills.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's the same circumstance where like we think
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: that a lot of times what we're going through is
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: God is punishing us, right, But there's a bigger message,
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: there's a bigger calling. And Terry, you have also written
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: a book called Why in Your Life and Workplace for Success.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Can you share with our audience about the book, what
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: was the inspiration and also how can they get a copy?
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So this this new book that's coming out, the
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: Resilience Mindset is it's really about how adversity strengthens us
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: as individuals, as teams, and as leaders by helping us
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: build resilience, gain confidence, and find purpose. And so the
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: book is actually about So I share my own personal
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: story that we just talked about, but I also profile
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: a number of other people that overcame seemingly insurmountable obstacles,
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: came out the other side, transformed and in a far
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: better place with greater purpose. So I'm really excited about it.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: It's stemmed from speaking engagements where people said, you talk
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: about all this stuff but you haven't, you know, in
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: your other book, you don't talk about it.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: You got to put in a book. So that's how
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: the book came out.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: But so it's released officially on September ninth, and it
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: is available for pre order now on Amazon and on
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: my website.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: So yeah, well for our audience, you guys can definitely
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: pre order it, you know, definitely get you a copy
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: whatever it is that you want to do and try.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Is there going to be an audio version?
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: You know, it's funny, there's a I guess there's still
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: licensing discussions on that. I sort of thought all this
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: would be done, but as I find out that there's
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: different players out there, so there's licensing discussions going on.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: So I don't know the actual date of that right now.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: It's an ebook and a hardback.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: So if if there's going to be an audio version,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: please tell me you're narrating. We have to hear from you.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: That's what I have asked for that. Yeah, I definitely
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: want to do that.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: And they don't have to pay, they don't have to
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: pay talent, right, they can just have me do it.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we want to hear from you, like in your
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: more authentic boys and you know, Terry, I'm curious, Like
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: you mentioned that you have a wife, I'm curious what
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: was that journey like to meet her and to have
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: her as part of your support team.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: So it's an amazing story. We met in sort of
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: an odd place. I say odd because the circumstances were strange.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: It was actually a bar, but I was there after
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: a wedding and we were there early because the wedding
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: had ended early, and she came in early with two
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: of her girlfriends. They didn't even live in this in
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: this area, so it was kind of this weird circumstance.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: But anyway, we ended up connecting.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: We had two dates together before the topic of what
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: happened to me even came up in a conversation.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: So that told me a lot about Sue.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: She really wasn't concerned about whatever happened to me, scared
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: about who I was as a person. So that was
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: really the most significant turning point in my life because
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: here was somebody that just accepted me for who I
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: was and to this day has never said, hey, you know,
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: you could probably get your nose straight now that gets
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: your eye lifted a tad. I could, if I wanted
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: to she's never said that, so pretty special.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: No, she saw the golden heart that you had from
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: the beginning, right, instead of going based on the physicality,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: she went here. Right, both of you were, you know,
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: at the right place at the right time. Maybe not
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: the conventional place to meet people now, I don't know,
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: or we're not going to go into my dating life.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: I've got some crazy stories about that as a whole
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: nother story I have about online dating and whatever. I'm
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: somebody who prefers to meet someone in person anyway, But
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: I mean, but look at that though, Like I wish
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: more people would approach situations from that lens, right instead
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: of what judging a book by cover type of thing. Right. Absolutely,
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: And I'm curious, Terry, because I'm I think about places
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: of employment, right, we say that we celebrate differences, but
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: they're still this wall of no. You have to still
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: abide by the if you want to call it by
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: the book or what I like to call the Scotch
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: tape special that we've always had in place for teen years.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: I'm curious, Terry, how can places of employment really adopt
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: a mindset of celebrating and honoring differences, because I feel
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: like that's still a hinderance in a lot of places today.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a great question.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: I think there's a number of so I've got a
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: lot of ideas on this topic, but one of them
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: is just about being inclusive in general, right. I think
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: inclusive environments bring out the best in people. Doesn't matter
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: what your background is, right, you actually want a diverse
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: background brings greater ideas, it brings actually greater profitability. You
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: can talk about studies from McKinsey and Vain and all
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: these guys.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: They've done the studies. There's proof in the pudding.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: But you know, I always think that people that have
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: gone through these types of scenarios have a story to tell,
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: and I think it's really important that you create an
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: environment where people have an opportunity to share what makes
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: them unique and it gives So this is I used
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: to go to a lot of these big meetings right
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: where you'd have let's say fifty people in a room.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: You didn't know half of them because they came from China,
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: and they came from Europe, and they came from all
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: these other places.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: So how do you break the eyes?
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: Well, you go around the room and you say, hey,
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: tell me three unique things about yourself, and you can
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: make it fun and say tell two honest things and
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: one lie. Whatever you want to do. But it gives
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: people the opportunity if they want to to share their vulnerabilities,
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: to share what make them unique, and I think that
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: helps build relationships in a way that it's really difficult
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: to do in a normal environment. But I would also
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: get into and we don't have to go down this path,
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: but this whole concept of servant.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Leadership right where.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: People that have experienced visible differences can actually be great
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: leaders because they bring more empathy to the table, they
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: bring different perspective to the table, and those kind of
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: things help they're better able to adapt to change in
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: many cases.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: And so as.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: Leaders they bring about they actually have to be people
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: that are a little bit more courageous and share their vulnerabilities.
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: And when you do that, you actually build trust.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: On your teams.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: You create an environment where people like you and want
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: to follow what you're recommending because they trust you more
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: because you've shared your vulnerabilities. You're not saying this is
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: the way we're doing it, my way or the highway.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: This is about bringing everybody's voice to the table, making
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: everybody feel like they're included in the conversation.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: And Terry, I love how you reiterated about empathy. I
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: think there's this notion of that you have to continue
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: to wear the ten man suit in places of corporate
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: instead of being truly you to the root, you know,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: because again it's that this is your role. But aside
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: from the role, I'm still a human. I'm still a person,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: and I think there needs to be more empathetic leadership
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: that is driving companies instead of profit, just really keep
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: the workforce healthy and holistic. Well, Terry, it has been
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: an honor to have you on the show. For our
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: audience who's tuning in if they want to connect with you, obviously,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: get a copy of your book. Is there a website
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: or social media that they can canvass your journey moving forward?
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you, Portia, So dub dub dub dot terryheely
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: dot com is the best place to go.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: That's t e r R Y h e A l
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: e y dot com.
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: I've got all my social handles on there, but that's
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: where all my events are listed, information about my books
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: where you get them. But also just you know the
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: types of speaking I do and the groups that I
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: talk to and the messages that I share. So yeah,
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: grateful for that. So thanks for allowing me to share that.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: Excellent Well, Terry, before we wrap up today, you share
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: with us the importance of faith in working through different
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: adverse circumstances, the power of gratitude, right if you slip
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: on that banana peel and you're late for work, you
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: didn't get hit by the semi right, and then also
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: celebrating and honoring differences and really putting in pathetic leadership
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: as the forefront to really keep employees happy, keep them
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: engaged and also valued. I'm curious, Terry, for our audience today,
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: what piece of advice can you leave with someone today
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: who has maybe walked in your shoes and that knows
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: that deep down inside they have a message, but maybe
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: they just need that little push from somebody else who's
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: been there to help them to start walking in their
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: true path.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: I mean, I would say spend time and reflection number one,
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: And that doesn't that's not a chore. It's actually a
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: gift because it only takes five minutes to do it,
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: and it gives you that opportunity to think about what
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: transpired during the course of your day, obviously starting with gratitude,
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: but then thinking about what transpired during the course of
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: your day. But then I would say, try to try
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: to share your vulnerabilities.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: Find the courage to share your vulnerabilities.
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: That changed my life truly being able to talk to
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: people maybe that aren't your friends and closest allies, but
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: going to a group setting or talking to a therapist
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: and just laying it out, because that's truly liberating.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: And sometimes I'm a big proponent of having a support
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: group of people that you trust and friends and family
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: and all that.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: But sometimes they will tell you what you want to hear.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: And so if you can find the courage to share
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: it with other people, you get tremendous feedback that maybe
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: you've never heard before, which can be like I said,
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: liberating and life changing and put you potentially on a
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: new path. But journaling and all that kind of stuff,
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: a gratitude journal, all that kind of stuff helps.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: You move toward a new path, a positive path.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: And we have a choice, right, we can choose to
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: be positive or we can choose not to.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: It's as simple as that. Just if you choose it,
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: you can make could.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Sell so well that part you make the choice to
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: either sit in the on the stagnant MAGA train or
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: you get off and you start moving, working through some
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: of the hurt journaling. Right, I'm the person that says,
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: find gratitude and the debt that you have because it
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: gave you experiences that you never would have if you
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: couldn't have accumulated it. So really, you know again that
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: mindset peace, How can you reframe it in some way?
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Well, everybody that was Terry Heally that you heard from
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: on grew with Portia. And that concludes another episode. Everybody,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: thanks for tuning in and until next time, everybody peas
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: in har grease.