Latest / Jess Ask / Healing Through Trust & Surrender | FT Candice Turner | EP97

Transcript

Healing Through Trust & Surrender | FT Candice Turner | EP97 · Jess Ask

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Yo, it's your girl, Jessica and Smith, and you already
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: know that you've entered the safe space for influencers to decompress,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: have fun and just.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Ask God for do you already know what it is?
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: And then you know it's about to get real.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: To be sure to show your girl the love and
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: like coming subscribe God.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: For another day?
• 0:30
  Speaker 4: Hey, hey, I know we could be another way.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Hey for love? Why I'm sorry? Go ahead, Hey, y'all.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: I needed that woman a guy. I needed that. Do
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: you like India? You know I like something?
• 0:50
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: We get down, do you y'all? You get down?
• 0:53
  Speaker 6: I get down with her too. I get down with
• 0:56
  Speaker 6: her too. Y'all you already know what it is. It's
• 0:58
  Speaker 6: Jessica and Smith and you have entered the safe space
• 1:01
  Speaker 6: for influences to decompress half of and guess what just
• 1:04
  Speaker 6: as as just as so, y'all already know when I
• 1:09
  Speaker 6: got these headphones on, we're virtual, virtual, We're doing the
• 1:13
  Speaker 6: technology thing.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: You know from around the world. Bring a round over, bringing,
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: bring around over, he bring them running word.
• 1:22
  Speaker 6: And this one that we got today, my god today,
• 1:25
  Speaker 6: let me tell y'all the enemy mad because he was trying.
• 1:28
  Speaker 6: He was really trying real hard for us not to
• 1:30
  Speaker 6: have this conversation on today. So I'm excited about what
• 1:33
  Speaker 6: the Lord is listening.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: I'm about y'all know, y'all.
• 1:35
  Speaker 6: I'll be telling y'all to tease stuff that happened on
• 1:37
  Speaker 6: the back end, Like when I tell you, either we
• 1:40
  Speaker 6: could see her, but we couldn't hear her. She could
• 1:43
  Speaker 6: see We could see each other the whole time, but
• 1:46
  Speaker 6: the being able to communicate and hear each other. Either
• 1:49
  Speaker 6: we couldn't hear her or she couldn't hear us. And
• 1:51
  Speaker 6: when the enemy tries to block the sound, you know
• 1:54
  Speaker 6: there's something to be seen. Come on, okay, So I'm
• 1:57
  Speaker 6: I'm ready for this one. Oh I'm ready this tellt
• 1:59
  Speaker 6: them on the right here the conversation today, it's gonna
• 2:03
  Speaker 6: go up. But before you know, I have to do
• 2:06
  Speaker 6: my due diligence. Desil right, deil right, there's a right
• 2:11
  Speaker 6: there right rate.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, see her today. You know I'm here. But we're
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: gonna learn how to be able to you know, her
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: on the screen.
• 2:18
  Speaker 6: Virtually we were technology e cam and y'all want to
• 2:22
  Speaker 6: teach us how to do this now, so that's what
• 2:24
  Speaker 6: we use. We I'm learning I'm you know, grateful to
• 2:28
  Speaker 6: be in this space of grace and favor because we
• 2:31
  Speaker 6: got favor. We do and at each level we're just
• 2:34
  Speaker 6: going higher and higher.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: We're learning. If y'all know how to use ECAM better
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: than us, just let us know, come help us out.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: We take help.
• 2:40
  Speaker 6: Okay, if y'all know, if y'all, especially if y'all in Birmingham,
• 2:44
  Speaker 6: man shout out to us city, Well, can you really
• 2:47
  Speaker 6: claim that desert like Birmingham be in your city? I mean,
• 2:50
  Speaker 6: at this point, I've been here almost twenty years, but
• 2:53
  Speaker 6: do you twenty almost? So you're claiming to be forty something?
• 2:59
  Speaker 6: Because I don't think you forty yet?
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Oh wait? How long I been here? You? Because you team? Yeah?
• 3:09
  Speaker 6: This year is my twentieth class reunion. Oh you shut up,
• 3:13
  Speaker 6: You shut up. Don't be disrespectful. You Well, I'm not
• 3:17
  Speaker 6: disrespectful when I say the facts.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Right. Are you older than me? Older? Yes? But you
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: know I ain't gonna say it. But you know the
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Lord is preserving.
• 3:28
  Speaker 6: Oh you preserved baby, because y'all y'all seen the skin,
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: the skin and skin, and listen, you know I don't
• 3:34
  Speaker 6: want to hold up too much time because you know
• 3:36
  Speaker 6: we can. We can go to me and Desertate can
• 3:37
  Speaker 6: go out there. I really want to get to them,
• 3:39
  Speaker 6: to my guests. But before we do that, you already
• 3:42
  Speaker 6: know what time it is community highlight, all right?
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: And I looked at there was a ray early.
• 3:48
  Speaker 6: I said, yeah, have we done floss If y'all don't
• 3:52
  Speaker 6: know who flows is? His government name is Tristan meg Farlane.
• 3:59
  Speaker 6: And that's how Homeboy we did last year. We had
• 4:03
  Speaker 6: a session with him and an interview with him. And
• 4:06
  Speaker 6: when I tell you, his testimony is so powerful, you guys,
• 4:09
  Speaker 6: we're gonna have to link that and actually link it.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Does Arica, we got linked. We ain't been linking it.
• 4:14
  Speaker 6: Okay, there's not no I'm sorry, but we're gonna actually
• 4:23
  Speaker 6: link it because that was a good interview.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: We learned man the power of healing is all over
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: his life. The Lord Baby.
• 4:29
  Speaker 6: The man was crippled, like not walking or anything, and
• 4:33
  Speaker 6: he got up and so we want to just shout
• 4:35
  Speaker 6: him out because since then, since that moment, the Man
• 4:39
  Speaker 6: of God has really been backing, just as the podcast
• 4:43
  Speaker 6: and for him to have the following that he does
• 4:46
  Speaker 6: and to him being in a different area like he's
• 4:48
  Speaker 6: not necessarily faith based.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: But he still he is a man of God, right
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: he is. When I tell you, the man.
• 4:53
  Speaker 6: Is funny, y'all, the man is funny, but he's so humble.
• 4:57
  Speaker 6: He is so humble, he's I love how he does
• 4:59
  Speaker 6: a I love how he loves his wife. Yeah, it's
• 5:02
  Speaker 6: the character for me, man, the character character. You can
• 5:05
  Speaker 6: be creative all day, but you ain't got no character
• 5:07
  Speaker 6: back then, you slipping brother. So Tristan McFarland aka Flows
• 5:12
  Speaker 6: the Mac, I want to tell you, we want to
• 5:15
  Speaker 6: tell you thank you so much.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: We want to just sing blessings your way.
• 5:18
  Speaker 6: We decree and declare that God will just do exceeding,
• 5:21
  Speaker 6: abundant above all that you can ask or think.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Your work that you're putting.
• 5:24
  Speaker 6: In now are seeds, and I pray that God just
• 5:26
  Speaker 6: blows on the things that you're not even thinking about.
• 5:29
  Speaker 6: For yourself. I pray that God inner seeds for you.
• 5:31
  Speaker 6: I pray, Oh, hallelujah, I snatch your help forward, the
• 5:35
  Speaker 6: help that you need to go ahead and do and
• 5:38
  Speaker 6: be what the organization hallelujah.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: You're not just the brand, You're in a full organization Trisian.
• 5:44
  Speaker 6: And so I pray that the organization that's being a
• 5:47
  Speaker 6: built around your talent. The organization that's being a built
• 5:50
  Speaker 6: around the intelligence, the integrity, the wisdom that you have.
• 5:57
  Speaker 6: It may it just explore in front of your place.
• 6:01
  Speaker 6: And when I say explode, I don't mean in a
• 6:02
  Speaker 6: bad way. I mean it to where it's like, Wow, God,
• 6:04
  Speaker 6: you really did this in this time. And so just
• 6:07
  Speaker 6: blessings on you, Blessings on you and your beautiful family.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: We love you.
• 6:10
  Speaker 6: Over here floss to make y'all give it up for
• 6:12
  Speaker 6: my brother, We love you. Oh my gosh, shut up,
• 6:19
  Speaker 6: enjoy I found it. I met the butt now. But
• 6:22
  Speaker 6: y'all know, if y'all been watching, it's this and then
• 6:26
  Speaker 6: you cut, You don't even let the applause finish, You
• 6:29
  Speaker 6: go yeah.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: And then it's not. I'm working. I'm gonna work on
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: a fade.
• 6:32
  Speaker 6: I'm aa fade it out because I I don't want
• 6:33
  Speaker 6: too long, you know, I'm say I just want to
• 6:35
  Speaker 6: give it just a little bit, give them a little
• 6:36
  Speaker 6: some something some some desert. Okay, y'all, it's time to
• 6:40
  Speaker 6: bring my friend. Because the guest today is I call
• 6:45
  Speaker 6: her my friend. We we have known each other probably
• 6:50
  Speaker 6: she met me the first propheticau and so when prophetical
• 6:53
  Speaker 6: cut started, it was twenty twenty, so no, I'm lying,
• 6:56
  Speaker 6: Well I knew she was there. I think, No, she
• 6:58
  Speaker 6: wasn't there. It was twenty two one. So I mean
• 7:03
  Speaker 6: we've just been kicking. You know how some people you
• 7:05
  Speaker 6: just like you just click like it just don't even
• 7:07
  Speaker 6: make sense like she did.
• 7:09
  Speaker 5: She did.
• 7:10
  Speaker 6: And so this woman, the guy I met her in
• 7:12
  Speaker 6: one of her gifts, the gifts God gave her on
• 7:14
  Speaker 6: earth was a prophetically danced and baby, when I tell you,
• 7:17
  Speaker 6: if she bring a flag over back, just just accept it,
• 7:21
  Speaker 6: just received it. Because that lady brought a flag over
• 7:24
  Speaker 6: there by me one time and she was like the
• 7:27
  Speaker 6: Lord was telling me the fire of a god. And no,
• 7:36
  Speaker 6: but since y'all she is a prophetic, she's propetic.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: It's just in always.
• 7:40
  Speaker 6: But what I met her is was as a prophetic
• 7:43
  Speaker 6: ministry and Dan she is a minister. She's also a
• 7:46
  Speaker 6: content creator so and also she has her podcast, our
• 7:49
  Speaker 6: show on YouTube. So I'm super excited to have her
• 7:52
  Speaker 6: on the show because baby, she don't come on everything.
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: She don't allow her prisons to be made everywhere. And
• 7:57
  Speaker 6: so it's an alma. This woman, a guy, my friend,
• 8:02
  Speaker 6: my sister, Candace turning, my friend.
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: My friend, my sister.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: How are you, sis? How you doing?
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: I'm great, I am great, man, Oh my gosh, I
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: love you. It's an honor to be on here with you.
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: And that's a ray, like like, I am loving this,
• 8:28
  Speaker 5: I'm great, I'm amazed, I'm just I'm lit to be
• 8:31
  Speaker 5: de day of truth.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: I'm lit right now, listen, Candice, I'm lit.
• 8:36
  Speaker 6: Because the thing about it is what they don't know
• 8:39
  Speaker 6: is that this is a dangerous situation.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: My God. Then we were struggling trying to get on
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: this this lot, like it was literally like we spent
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: like fifteen minutes at least, and I was like I
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: heard the Lord say, just go with it.
• 8:54
  Speaker 6: And it was like because we already knew what was
• 8:56
  Speaker 6: gonna happen, because when me and my sister link up,
• 8:59
  Speaker 6: it's always a situation. It's always had tearing up the
• 9:03
  Speaker 6: inning or whatever. So kids, I want you to I
• 9:06
  Speaker 6: want you to tell the people who you are, because
• 9:10
  Speaker 6: we finna get into this story.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: Okay, first of all, you slave, honey, this hell.
• 9:14
  Speaker 6: Okay, the woman of God tell us, Okay, we're gonna
• 9:24
  Speaker 6: we're gonna get into that. But she wasn't always. When
• 9:27
  Speaker 6: I met her, she had the same simular hair to mine.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: That it was longer. Okay, she was a dread. But
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: the Lord just been transforming you. In and out. Okay,
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: in and out, Kennis, Where are you originally from? Because
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: are you originally from Texas?
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: Yes? I am originally from Texas, born and raised in
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: what we call deep East Texas, small town country. In fact,
• 9:51
  Speaker 5: the town is called Shelbyville. You know, they always say,
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: never forget where you come from. I'm putting Ville on
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: the map. Okay, nine three cent shout out eighty seven
• 10:01
  Speaker 5: south love y'all. But yeah, I'm from deep East Texas
• 10:05
  Speaker 5: and it's so far deep East Texas that is borderline Louisiana.
• 10:09
  Speaker 5: Som from the country, small town, been in Texas my
• 10:12
  Speaker 5: entire life. Yeah, so that's where I'm from.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: Oh Man, tell us a little bit.
• 10:18
  Speaker 6: So yeah, So you have a you have a unique story,
• 10:21
  Speaker 6: and I want to just kind of get into it,
• 10:23
  Speaker 6: and I'm gonna start here, but I know the Lord
• 10:24
  Speaker 6: is just gonna kind of travel us down because you
• 10:29
  Speaker 6: you kind of you kind of annoyingty my god, you're
• 10:35
  Speaker 6: kind of only now so.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: I know you speak about.
• 10:41
  Speaker 6: On on on social media. You always celebrate yourself in
• 10:48
  Speaker 6: the being the transition that you had from being in
• 10:51
  Speaker 6: the homosexuality field or what you call it lifestyle, lifestyle,
• 10:58
  Speaker 6: lifestyle and to here now, and we go back to
• 11:01
  Speaker 6: where your child, what did you identify in, what was
• 11:03
  Speaker 6: you growing up? How did you even meet a place
• 11:05
  Speaker 6: of being in the homo sexual lifestyle.
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, I love to travel down this journey to testify
• 11:13
  Speaker 5: because you know, when we're young, our childhood, you know
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: there's an innocence there. At the same time, there is
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: a lack of and not having the language of a thing.
• 11:26
  Speaker 5: When I say lack of meaning you know, the rejection,
• 11:30
  Speaker 5: the abandonment, and then your innocence is taken away by
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: way of being exposed to that that is not innocent. Right,
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: so your parity is taken away. You see things and
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: your mind beginning to wonder and or or you're taking
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: advantage of and your heart. You know, you don't know
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: how to express, you don't know how to open your mouth,
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: who to share what has happened, and to you know,
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: just be covered, to be rescued, to be uh, you know,
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: to be restored back to that innocent life. Now we
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: live in a world that's perverted. That's light and darkness.
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: That's just what it is. But you know, as a child,
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: there was a void that I tried to feel by
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: way of all those things, the abandonment, the rejection, the
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: things that I saw in my childhood. And don't get
• 12:18
  Speaker 5: it twisted. My family did great with me, but still
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: we live in a world of light and darkness. Okay.
• 12:24
  Speaker 5: And by way of you know, growing and becoming, as
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: you've become a teenager, you become curious and you find
• 12:32
  Speaker 5: yourself in places you didn't know that you would eventually
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: just crave, and you you adopt these habits and these behaviors,
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: and you want to feel these boys because you don't
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: have the language of how to really be restored back
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: to the wholeness place where God originally called you or Betty.
• 12:49
  Speaker 5: Yet you don't even know your identity is in Christ,
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: do all the church things. You know, religiously you were
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: born and raised in the church Monday through Monday, but
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: not having a real relationship. Okay, So I mean it
• 13:02
  Speaker 5: really the root of that lifestyle came by way of
• 13:06
  Speaker 5: rejection and abandonment. Not knowing how to rightly express emotions,
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: the unmet needs that I never received that I didn't
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: even know I could. I could use this language now
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: because I've done the work. Now I'm thirty six, like
• 13:18
  Speaker 5: you know, the past several years. But back then, we
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: didn't know. You know, what happened in the house stayed
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: in the house. You shoved things on the rug, or
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: what happened, you know, in other people's households. You just
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: kind of shove those things on the rug, and before
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: you know it, those seeds are growing with you and
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: you're living a lifestyle apart from who God originally called
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: you to be. So yeah, that's that's kind of the
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: you know, surface of it. But you know that that's
• 13:45
  Speaker 5: just where it came from. I mean then before I
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: knew it, you know, living in the not living but
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: I played basketball, so even that whole environment my whole life.
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: I mean I was I breathed basketball from you teenage
• 14:01
  Speaker 5: to going to college scholarship and being exposed to that
• 14:04
  Speaker 5: us Like I thought that was it. I was set on.
• 14:06
  Speaker 5: This is who I was, this is how I was born,
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: This is me. You know, I don't know anything else.
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: I've been doing this for so many years. You know,
• 14:13
  Speaker 5: this girl, that girl so many girls at the same time,
• 14:17
  Speaker 5: like this is I'm a pro with this, and I
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: thought that I was until you encountered the presence of
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: the Lord and he captivates your heart in such a way.
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: He captivated my heart one day at this conferences, and
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: I mean even now your chills just thinking about it,
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: because I surrendered in a way that it wasn't about, Oh,
• 14:40
  Speaker 5: I just want to give up the lifestyle. I was
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: just pulled to the heart of God that I wanted
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: to become more acquainted with Him for real, for real,
• 14:47
  Speaker 5: my way of relationship. So I couldn't do enough right things.
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: But it was the fact that I just wanted relationship
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: with Him, which is ultimately the posture of the heart. Right,
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: the motive, the posture of the heart are just the
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: desire of relationship with Him and not just religious things.
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: And because of you know, over time and the process,
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: keep keep seeking the word, you keep getting in his
• 15:09
  Speaker 5: presence for real, for real. Then all the desires and
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: the behaviors that I knew that I once lived, those
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: things just started dueling in their way. So I know
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: that's a lot to unpack.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: You gave.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: I got about ten questions out of the one.
• 15:25
  Speaker 6: I'm real, uh before before we move away from this
• 15:29
  Speaker 6: this space, because I don't want to necessarily focus on
• 15:33
  Speaker 6: the homo sexual homosexual lifestyle, however, and I think that's
• 15:37
  Speaker 6: going to be an additive to what we're going to
• 15:39
  Speaker 6: get into. But you said something that's so interesting. You
• 15:44
  Speaker 6: said there were needs that were unmet. Can you speak
• 15:48
  Speaker 6: to that place, like what was being unmit to you
• 15:51
  Speaker 6: at between your your childhood and adolescent space.
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: Okay, let's start from you know, basic level. I would
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: say validating my emotions. I feel like I didn't even
• 16:02
  Speaker 5: have a voice. I saw things that caused me pain,
• 16:06
  Speaker 5: that heard and even seeing my parents hurt one another,
• 16:12
  Speaker 5: and no one ever inquired. How does that make you feel?
• 16:18
  Speaker 5: Were you in this? Are you okay? You just keep
• 16:22
  Speaker 5: going throughout your life day to day. So I lacked
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: the need of validating my own emotions, and then it
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: ultimately made me believe out of way of deception. At
• 16:33
  Speaker 5: the time, it made me believe that my thoughts, my
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: feelings doesn't matter, doesn't matter, And so as a child,
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: you lack the need of being validated and cared for
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: on that level, Maybe you say, you know, you know,
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: they might say, stay in a child's place. But after
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: years of never being able to open my mouth or
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: even just have a conversation, can we just talk about this?
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: What is this love? And maybe it was, but it's like,
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: you know, you're just you're lacking what you don't know,
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: and there's a disconnect there and so just yeah, for
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: the most part, I would say the inability to rightly
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: express my motions because I didn't know that I could.
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: I didn't know that I could validate my own emotions,
• 17:18
  Speaker 5: you know, my thoughts, my voice, that it matters. So
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: you go from being muzzled hiding your own feelings, and
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: then ultimately there's a mass you put on. The more
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: you grow, like, you know, the older you get, you're
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: masking everything all the time.
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're masking everything.
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: All the time, miserable on the inside. On the outside
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: you look like you're happy, you're great, but man, the
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: heart is all jacked up. I have a lot of
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: unresolved issues and unmet needs. I mean, it really boils
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: out you think about it. We live in a world
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: where it's so much disconnection. But it's like to be
• 17:58
  Speaker 5: raising your household with family and loved one and maybe
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: they didn't have the language and they did the best
• 18:02
  Speaker 5: they did that they could do. Always say that because
• 18:05
  Speaker 5: we live in a world where we talk about my
• 18:07
  Speaker 5: childhood is so blah blah blah. I'm grateful to God
• 18:10
  Speaker 5: from my childhood. Don't get it twisted. Okay, But as
• 18:13
  Speaker 5: you mature as an adult, you have a responsibility. You
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: have a decision on how you're going to live your life.
• 18:20
  Speaker 5: Do you want to live a life of wholeness, purity,
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: being able to rightly express your emotions, being able to
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: connect with God's people and love them through the lenses
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: and the world of God. You gotta do the work.
• 18:31
  Speaker 5: There's a feel good in the moment. You gotta do
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: the work so you could really walk this life out
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: for real, for real, you know. And so I would
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: just say, to answer your question ultimately, like I lack
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: the I lack the validation. The love was there, but
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: I lacked that validation with my emotions. And then you
• 18:51
  Speaker 5: grow up. I grew up all out of whack, not
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: knowing how to rightly divide them, how to rightly express
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: them on me. So you know, over time, you know,
• 19:00
  Speaker 5: by way of having the resources, now you learn how
• 19:02
  Speaker 5: to do that.
• 19:04
  Speaker 6: I think it's so interesting that you bring up the
• 19:06
  Speaker 6: point of validation because like the points of our like
• 19:12
  Speaker 6: our mother and father have different responsibilities when it comes
• 19:18
  Speaker 6: to raising a child right, and when the parenting is
• 19:22
  Speaker 6: disrupted right in a way, it's almost like the validation
• 19:28
  Speaker 6: can't be there. Like for me, I my dad was
• 19:32
  Speaker 6: a single parent. He was raising me and kimdall by himself,
• 19:36
  Speaker 6: you know, and so did he really have time to
• 19:39
  Speaker 6: validate us the way we probably should have been validated.
• 19:42
  Speaker 6: It's like, God, God, I could have overcame a lot
• 19:44
  Speaker 6: of things or missed a lot of moments, missed out
• 19:48
  Speaker 6: on a lot of negative moments because I was I
• 19:50
  Speaker 6: didn't know who I am. And so now I'm thinking about, Okay,
• 19:53
  Speaker 6: the father is there primarily to identify, to put the
• 19:57
  Speaker 6: standard right, and so when he's he's putting the standard
• 20:01
  Speaker 6: there and he's doing everything, but he also has the nurture,
• 20:04
  Speaker 6: like what is needed. First, I'm confused and as the
• 20:07
  Speaker 6: way I am as a parent now because my other
• 20:10
  Speaker 6: part that's supposed my partnership in developing a human being
• 20:14
  Speaker 6: ain't there.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: So now or vice versa.
• 20:17
  Speaker 6: You got single mothers out here. Now I gotta be hard.
• 20:21
  Speaker 6: Now I can show the love.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. But it's interesting because you
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: come from a two parent home and you say, I
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: still didn't get it there.
• 20:29
  Speaker 6: So the assumption of two people with two parent homes
• 20:32
  Speaker 6: they're doing so well, they've done this and that that's
• 20:36
  Speaker 6: a lie. It's a lot, a lot, it is a lie.
• 20:40
  Speaker 6: I love how you said it, So I'm interested in
• 20:42
  Speaker 6: knowing how you learn what validation was and how you
• 20:46
  Speaker 6: accepted it.
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's as simple as acknowledging it and being okay
• 20:56
  Speaker 5: with it. Because there's this fear that's planted. You know,
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: you can't cry, you can't feel. You know, you shouldn't feel,
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: you should be strong. You know, you think about being disciplined.
• 21:09
  Speaker 5: I think about being disciplined at times, and you hear
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: hush your mouth, shut up, stop that cry. It shuts
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: me down immediately, like, wait, what why am I crying?
• 21:19
  Speaker 5: If we're not supposed to cry? You don't know, and
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: so you thought, you know, there's that stigma of thinking
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: to cry or to feel, to express. It's a negative
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: connotation on it. It's not good for you. But then
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: as you and you know, embrace the relationship with the Lord,
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: you pursue that Jesus, Well, come on, it's a simplest
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: like Okay, there's full of emotions and feelings. So first thing, first,
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: I need to acknowledge honestly how I feel, even if
• 21:54
  Speaker 5: no one else validates me. I need to start loving
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: myself enough to where I could I could honestly be
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: true to myself and say, you know what, I'm feeling
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: this type of way right now. And then it's a
• 22:05
  Speaker 5: step further from that, okay, like is this is this
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: by way of someone else's effort? I mean someone else's
• 22:14
  Speaker 5: What am I trying to say because someone else have
• 22:16
  Speaker 5: causes pain to me? Or is this or is this
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: highlighting an unmet need that I never receive an off
• 22:22
  Speaker 5: the job? Get back to the root, because the fruits
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: are going to be there on the tree, but they
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: always lead to the root cause. And so if we
• 22:29
  Speaker 5: ever wonder why there's a cycle of lacking the ability
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: to validate and being you know, just emotionally unstable, it's
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: because we can identify the fruit, but we're not doing
• 22:40
  Speaker 5: the work to get to the root cause because sometimes
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: other person sometimes it is just me, you know what
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: I mean? If we're honest, and then let's not give
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: anyone the power to hold that to us. Where we're saying, oh,
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: it was them all the time, or was my parents
• 22:53
  Speaker 5: all the time? No, I'm a grown woman now. They
• 22:55
  Speaker 5: did the best they could do, and I can't use
• 22:58
  Speaker 5: that as an excuse to like live any time a way. No,
• 23:00
  Speaker 5: I want to heal and I want to change, you know,
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: the bloodline like the I want the emotional stability. I
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: want to be able to have affection and intimacy and
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: love and valid I want that to be on the
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: blood line consistently. Word, it's just second nature. So now
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna do the work. I'm making a choice. When
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: he gives us, he gives us the power to decide
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: a thing. So at some point you have to stop
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: blaming what what they did, what they did not do,
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: and grow up. Because if you seek the word of God,
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: if you seek relationship with Him, the spiritual maturity would come,
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: the emotional maturity would come. It goes hand in hand,
• 23:39
  Speaker 5: It goes hand in hand. And so ultimately, you know, girl,
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: this is good to me. But just just ultimately, I
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: just got to the point where I didn't want that
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: to hover over me. I didn't want that to be
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: an excuse for me to live any kind of way
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: and make excuse me.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: I want to validate myself. I want to acknowledge my feelings.
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: And as a result of that, by default, my family
• 24:02
  Speaker 5: and other people who didn't know or didn't happen language, they.
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: Do the same, you know.
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it teaches us all really because it's still
• 24:12
  Speaker 5: a challenge for me and it's uncomfortable, but it's gonna
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: bear fruit.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: It's gonna bear fruit.
• 24:17
  Speaker 6: And so so yeah, you said a lot, he said
• 24:23
  Speaker 6: so much in there, and okay, so connecting because earlier
• 24:28
  Speaker 6: you mentioned that you was like, you have to do
• 24:30
  Speaker 6: the work. You have to do the work, and connecting
• 24:32
  Speaker 6: that to discipline and whatnot. One thing I know about
• 24:37
  Speaker 6: you is one of the earlier things I understood about
• 24:40
  Speaker 6: you is that God, when he called you to do something,
• 24:43
  Speaker 6: you just do it right. And one of those things
• 24:45
  Speaker 6: was consecration. And so I would like to tie all
• 24:48
  Speaker 6: of that in together. Is to people that don't really
• 24:51
  Speaker 6: understand what does it mean to do the work as
• 24:53
  Speaker 6: a Christian? Like what does it mean? Because I'm flesh,
• 24:56
  Speaker 6: I'm falling. I'm sure I was in this home missexuality lifestyle.
• 24:59
  Speaker 6: I was with this man late at night, I was
• 25:01
  Speaker 6: with this person, or I was stealing, I was smoking,
• 25:05
  Speaker 6: we I was drinking. I'm doing all of this stuff.
• 25:08
  Speaker 6: I don't understand what the work does, like, what is
• 25:11
  Speaker 6: the work? I don't know what that is. What would
• 25:13
  Speaker 6: be your response to that?
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: My response to doing the work? First step, as I
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: said earlier, Okay, first you have to acknowledge, right, you
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: may not have it all figured out, but if you
• 25:25
  Speaker 5: would get to a point where we render our need
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: to feel as though we have to have it all
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: figured out, just take the first step. Let me surrender
• 25:34
  Speaker 5: this to the Lord. Okay, let me bring this before him, right,
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: that's the spiritual part of it. But then practically, let
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: me kind of implement, you know, some behaviors in my
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: lifestyle that strengthens my mind, that will cause my heart
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: and my mind to come into alignment, to be an agreement.
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: Because your heart and mind could be in two different places,
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: you hear me, but they have to come into total
• 25:58
  Speaker 5: alignment and to agree. The heart thinks, first of all,
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: I think I don't even know the scripture. I have
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: to find it. But I mean, your thoughts are in
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: your heart. And then if your mind, you know you
• 26:08
  Speaker 5: can You can know something that's right, but your heart
• 26:11
  Speaker 5: is not there. You can know the right thing to do,
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: but your heart is not there. So you have to
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: bring it to it into alignment. And so you know,
• 26:17
  Speaker 5: you acknowledge, you surrender you, You bring the heart and
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: the mind into agreement.
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: You put some.
• 26:23
  Speaker 5: Practical things in place, you know, habits. Let me change mine,
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: Let me change my lifestyle a little bit, because all
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: of that is going to align and come together like
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: it literally does. And by way of consecrating, I would
• 26:36
  Speaker 5: use for an example, the Lord began to challenge me.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: I just wanted to draw closer to him.
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: I just wanted to get out of the mediocre lifestyle
• 26:43
  Speaker 5: of I'll say, for example, social media every day, all day,
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: every day. I mean, unconsciously nothing against it, but I'll
• 26:50
  Speaker 5: just scroll for I know it. I've lost time that
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: I could have been effective and productive, and I'm like,
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: this doesn't feel good, Like I know, I know what
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: fulfill in his life in productivity is life, And when
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: I don't feel it, there's a disconnect. So what has
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: gotten in the place that is hindering me from living
• 27:11
  Speaker 5: a life that I know? You have grace in such
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: a way You've graced me to live and we becoming younger.
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: You could be so it could be so subtle, like
• 27:18
  Speaker 5: you don't even know. And before you know it, everything
• 27:21
  Speaker 5: that you're seeing on social media is.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: Just feeding you.
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: Everything that you're hearing on social media is just feeding you.
• 27:30
  Speaker 5: Now you all clogged up, stopped up, not just nothing right, Okay,
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: And so the Lord begin to challenge me, Okay, just
• 27:37
  Speaker 5: feel back a little time, set some you know, goals.
• 27:40
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna hop on there a couple of times the
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: other day. Then before I knew, they just grew to
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: a couple of weeks. One time it was two months,
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: and it just grew. And when I tell you the way,
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: I became so sensitive to the voice of the Lord,
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: couldn't even respond to text. Sometimes God has challenged me
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: to like really set out to really be set apart
• 28:01
  Speaker 5: with this consecrated lifestyle, set apart for the service of
• 28:05
  Speaker 5: the Lord. You're not set apart for your own. It's like,
• 28:07
  Speaker 5: even though I went into consecration just desiring to be
• 28:11
  Speaker 5: close to him, ultimately it's because He needs to use
• 28:13
  Speaker 5: me speak something to me. He wants me to be
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: a sharp shooter in the spirit he wants me to
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: hear it clarity, to articulate what he's saying, you know,
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: to see him in such a way that I'm just
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: in sync with the Lord. I'm in the flow, ain't
• 28:27
  Speaker 5: missing a bit. You get what I'm trying to say.
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: And so by way of consecrating with him and really
• 28:32
  Speaker 5: being intentional about what I hear, what I see, you know,
• 28:36
  Speaker 5: I ain't missed to be I could be sleep dreaming.
• 28:39
  Speaker 5: He's showing me people. I ain't talked to it months,
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: knowing what's going, but it's the prophetic and it's being
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: so in sync with him. Even as an intercessor. I
• 28:47
  Speaker 5: don't have to reach out to the people. Just pray.
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: It's for the service of the Lord. I don't want
• 28:52
  Speaker 5: to you get trying.
• 28:53
  Speaker 6: To say, but I hear you clearly because you're talking.
• 28:57
  Speaker 6: You tell you got good. I mean it.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: Tingling does a ray rolls up so she was like
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: this at first, and then she rolls up to the
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: mic like this, so you can hear that's good. Okay,
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: that's that's good.
• 29:15
  Speaker 6: Listen the scripture because we won't buy I'm surprised the
• 29:18
  Speaker 6: Woman of God didn't pull a phone out.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: I saw you with yours. Oh okay, I wanted to so,
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: Oh we pull phones out here, don't?
• 29:26
  Speaker 6: So the is the is the verse you're talking about
• 29:28
  Speaker 6: Jeremiah seventeen nine. Why it says the heart is to
• 29:30
  Speaker 6: sea for above all things and desperately wicked? Who can
• 29:33
  Speaker 6: know it is that?
• 29:36
  Speaker 5: That's not one? But that's a good one.
• 29:37
  Speaker 6: That's a good okay. See, this is why we will
• 29:39
  Speaker 6: ask for clarity. Okay. But as you as you look
• 29:43
  Speaker 6: for that scripture, this is what I heard you just say.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: You sometimes we.
• 29:51
  Speaker 6: As believers are so and this I'm telling on myself,
• 29:55
  Speaker 6: have become hyper spiritual about the our daily lives and
• 30:01
  Speaker 6: lack practicality to the point where the Lord can't really
• 30:05
  Speaker 6: use us or develop us to the place that he
• 30:07
  Speaker 6: wants to go. That's the work. The work is practical.
• 30:10
  Speaker 6: I meet the spirit within within my works, right, And
• 30:15
  Speaker 6: so I think that that was such a pinnacle point
• 30:20
  Speaker 6: of your last presentation with the art of how you
• 30:24
  Speaker 6: use the language of Okay, like I really a lot
• 30:27
  Speaker 6: of us overthink what God wants us to do, and
• 30:31
  Speaker 6: that we miss God just by overthinking. Yeah, by doing
• 30:36
  Speaker 6: the most did you find a scripture?
• 30:39
  Speaker 5: No, I'm trying to find a girl.
• 30:43
  Speaker 6: So it's okay. If you don't find it, it's not
• 30:45
  Speaker 6: to be. I was just trying to I was just
• 30:46
  Speaker 6: trying to support the bunisful.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but no, I love where.
• 30:51
  Speaker 6: We're going with this, and I think that can you
• 30:54
  Speaker 6: give us Let me ask you this, what do you
• 30:58
  Speaker 6: think why do you think.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: People are afraid of the consecration word?
• 31:04
  Speaker 5: Like?
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: What what are the what.
• 31:05
  Speaker 6: Are the lies that are centered around the idea of consecration?
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: That's good man, you know, I ain't never thought about that,
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: But I think that some of what we have become
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: familiar with is fastening consecration as we know it and
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: not allowing ourselves to be challenged in a way where
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: God is challenging you in a way that everyone around
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: you might not. You feel like the eyeball. You don't
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: want to be the outcast, but you're set apart. You're chosen,
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: and you're going to be the outcast. Sometimes that God
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: didn't make a mistake about us when he created us
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: in his image, uniquely designed each, never last one of us.
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: The greatness on your life, the anointiness on your life,
• 31:50
  Speaker 5: the calls on your line. He made no mistake. So
• 31:54
  Speaker 5: your path and your relationship with the Lord. It's not
• 31:58
  Speaker 5: it's not it's not a mistake. But if we would
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: just really yield to the instructions of the Lord when
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: it comes to consecration sometimes I mean, hey, to be honest,
• 32:09
  Speaker 5: it might be a little scary. Let's be clear, because Lord,
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: what are you doing? What's about the happen? Well, you
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: remember you pray years ago, do you want to be
• 32:17
  Speaker 5: at my will? You gave me yes? Blah blah blah,
• 32:18
  Speaker 5: because that's how he talked to me. This is this
• 32:20
  Speaker 5: is this is you're in the vein. This is a
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: part of it. So uh yeah, just the fear of
• 32:26
  Speaker 5: not knowing or being, you know, being in the crew
• 32:32
  Speaker 5: with everyone else moving away that everyone else does like
• 32:35
  Speaker 5: I don't want to be the oodcast. I think that's
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: a lie. That's a lie, and it really just highlights
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: it highlights the pasture of bour heart ultimately, which is
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: why we still have to bring that to him so
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: that he can help us to have the courage and
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: the faith to be tested in that way and just
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: embrace it and trust him that he knows what he's doing.
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: Another lie. I mean, that's so good. I haven't even
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: thought about the lies. But I do know that there
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: has been like on the culture and an avidy like
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: just this, we all know the fastest kind of way
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: and do that and do this, and it's like it's
• 33:09
  Speaker 5: so common.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: We treated like a like it's just calm do.
• 33:13
  Speaker 5: But when it becomes your lifestyle, you do it second nature.
• 33:18
  Speaker 5: You just consecrated. You know, you desire to be set up.
• 33:22
  Speaker 5: You desire for stillness and quiet time with the Lord.
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: You desire to not always be out in the streets
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: going out to eat and hanging out and so those things.
• 33:30
  Speaker 5: It has its place. Don't give me tw itt, don't
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: get me wrong. Because of the fellowship with the brotherren.
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: And you know, we have to live this life.
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: But your spirit, your spirit been sisen to the things
• 33:41
  Speaker 5: of the Lord. There's a craving and a desire to
• 33:44
  Speaker 5: get in that place, to get in his word, to
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: just be still, to just bass, to just rest just so,
• 33:49
  Speaker 5: to just study, to just not do life like everyone
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: else all the time and then miss the mark. When
• 33:56
  Speaker 5: God wants to do something piliful, he wants to drop
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: something and you just have to post you ourself and
• 34:01
  Speaker 5: he could do it while you're driving, But if you're
• 34:03
  Speaker 5: not if you're not bringing your ears and your mind
• 34:05
  Speaker 5: to a place where you're anticipating hearing the Lord. You're
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: so you're so tied up with hearing everyone else's voice,
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: but you're not. You know, you're not training yourself. You're
• 34:16
  Speaker 5: not training your ears, training your heart, training your eyes
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: to decipher his voice, to anticipate when he speaks in
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: the cool of the day. What is his voice sounds
• 34:26
  Speaker 5: like the instructions of the Lord. Being able to respond
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: immediately and not hesitating. This hesitation is gonna come because
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: it's challenging your faith and it has to be increased.
• 34:34
  Speaker 5: That's a part of it, no problem. But eventually you
• 34:37
  Speaker 5: become so sharp there is no hesitation. You can respond
• 34:40
  Speaker 5: upon it. You can you can respond immediately, Okay, because you're.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: Desate. Did you just hear what she just says?
• 34:49
  Speaker 6: If there is no hesitation, when when you practice the
• 34:54
  Speaker 6: lifestyle of fasting and consecration, when it's not just like
• 34:58
  Speaker 6: this fad like this, this trending topics thing to do,
• 35:03
  Speaker 6: this thing to do because my community, when when God,
• 35:05
  Speaker 6: because I can, I can tell you that you like
• 35:08
  Speaker 6: it was a point in time I felt like I
• 35:09
  Speaker 6: was always fast the folst was like, just you don't
• 35:11
  Speaker 6: ever eat.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: I don't. I don't.
• 35:13
  Speaker 6: I was fast and so I was fasting so much.
• 35:15
  Speaker 6: That's why when I got bigger, I was like.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: Kind of surprised. I was like, what's going on? It
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: was because I wasn't consecrated. Just be honest.
• 35:22
  Speaker 6: My body started, you know, reflecting the lack thereof with
• 35:26
  Speaker 6: the with the Lord, the lack of resolve that I
• 35:30
  Speaker 6: was having spiritually.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: And so when you think.
• 35:33
  Speaker 6: About that, that's also the time where you feel like
• 35:36
  Speaker 6: you're more anxious, more worry, more more constipated. Thing like
• 35:41
  Speaker 6: you really don't have U like you're disconnected. You really
• 35:45
  Speaker 6: feel disconnected. And so what you just said is when
• 35:49
  Speaker 6: I lean to like my relationship with God and what
• 35:52
  Speaker 6: I'm supposed to be doing and what He's calling me
• 35:55
  Speaker 6: to do, then I benefit off being a shop shooter.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: There's benefits. I'm not just sharp shooting you.
• 36:03
  Speaker 6: But I have a confidence in God that I react
• 36:05
  Speaker 6: before he even got to say anything. Like I just
• 36:09
  Speaker 6: can sense that God's finish shift something before he can
• 36:11
  Speaker 6: say it.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 36:12
  Speaker 6: Got the presence of God is so tangible to me
• 36:16
  Speaker 6: that it's almost like you speaking of family.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: This is so good.
• 36:19
  Speaker 6: This is the analogy that the Lord has given me
• 36:21
  Speaker 6: right now when you think about family members, Oh God,
• 36:24
  Speaker 6: thank you only spirit. There is a trend on on
• 36:28
  Speaker 6: social media right now and people are somebody sitting in
• 36:32
  Speaker 6: the front as people are lined up in the back,
• 36:35
  Speaker 6: and all they.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Do is hear the voice right you can send.
• 36:38
  Speaker 6: It's almost like you sense the presence of something something,
• 36:42
  Speaker 6: but you're not looking at God, but you can sense
• 36:44
  Speaker 6: that God is there.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: Your back is to him.
• 36:47
  Speaker 6: That's the analogy that God has given me. So the
• 36:49
  Speaker 6: more time Hallelujah, that you're spending with God, the more consecration,
• 36:53
  Speaker 6: the more you push back your plate, the more you
• 36:54
  Speaker 6: push back social media, the more I'm even convicted right
• 36:57
  Speaker 6: now because I'm like God, I be scrolling like, oh
• 37:00
  Speaker 6: I need to follow this and all I need this
• 37:01
  Speaker 6: and all that.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: No, do you need them or do you need me?
• 37:04
  Speaker 5: Come?
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: Who do you need again?
• 37:09
  Speaker 6: He's I'm about to be so hey, Candice, I'm finna, Oh,
• 37:11
  Speaker 6: I'm finna tell you what with this one.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: He even confronted me about my need for coach.
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: D Hey he a, because you know what, we should
• 37:21
  Speaker 5: not desire anything or anyone more than we do the Lord,
• 37:26
  Speaker 5: so he gonna confront us. That's good, that's good, that's real.
• 37:32
  Speaker 6: No, like we really like the thing that helped us
• 37:35
  Speaker 6: grow in God is still not God.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: Still, it's still not God.
• 37:41
  Speaker 6: And it's like I honored the words I had to
• 37:44
  Speaker 6: correct myself. I honored her words at one point one,
• 37:47
  Speaker 6: and I honored the Lord's words like I could.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: Hear him from myself, and the Woman of God is
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: beyond great. But still I wasn't.
• 37:56
  Speaker 6: Consecrated enough to hear him from myself. So I was
• 37:58
  Speaker 6: leaning on a word from her, not knowing who I was.
• 38:03
  Speaker 5: Because you know where it goes back to you, just
• 38:07
  Speaker 5: the being afraid or comfortable, being comfortable enough. Hey, this works,
• 38:14
  Speaker 5: the track record, this, this is very consistent. Oh yeah,
• 38:18
  Speaker 5: this is working. But then Ultimate God will just challenge us.
• 38:21
  Speaker 5: He will. He will show us very quickly. It doesn't
• 38:24
  Speaker 5: feel good in the moment, but it's necessary. He will
• 38:26
  Speaker 5: show us. Hey, you're relying a little too much on
• 38:29
  Speaker 5: that voice, on that daughter of mine, on that son
• 38:33
  Speaker 5: of mine. Let me shut it down because the same
• 38:38
  Speaker 5: voice that they're hearing of me, it's available to you.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: Booths.
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: You just need to come on, come on, come, on
• 38:44
  Speaker 5: and become acquainted with me. We seek relationship with people.
• 38:47
  Speaker 5: You know, you want to get acquainted when you're dating,
• 38:49
  Speaker 5: when you're trying, and we have a relationship with somebody.
• 38:52
  Speaker 5: You don't let outsiders have a voice in all your
• 38:56
  Speaker 5: business with this all the time, because it's gonna destroub
• 38:59
  Speaker 5: what you then, what you got going on?
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: Come on, sis, Why.
• 39:02
  Speaker 5: Don't we treat God like he just come on? Now? Why?
• 39:10
  Speaker 5: You know what that does? It highlights our unbelief. There's
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: some unbelief that that system is a little jacked up.
• 39:17
  Speaker 5: We gotta get back and got to do something faulty
• 39:20
  Speaker 5: somewhere along the way.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: You said, it highlights mm hm the unbelief.
• 39:28
  Speaker 5: Mm hmm.
• 39:29
  Speaker 6: It's almost like we highlighting spotlight can go together, right,
• 39:33
  Speaker 6: and we get to control the spotlight.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: That's the gag God.
• 39:39
  Speaker 6: Gives us the opportunity. Focus is the spotlight. Why where
• 39:43
  Speaker 6: is my focus in this moment and my focus on
• 39:45
  Speaker 6: God through this person or my focus on this on
• 39:49
  Speaker 6: this person saying you know what, this is the only
• 39:53
  Speaker 6: this is the only person that you know deals with God?
• 39:56
  Speaker 6: Or I'm leaning on their understanding, not even God's understand
• 40:00
  Speaker 6: And then.
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: Right and it's working.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: But then what happens when it don't work?
• 40:06
  Speaker 7: No more?
• 40:07
  Speaker 5: Uh huh, God saying, yep, I shut it down. Intention
• 40:10
  Speaker 5: Now what you're gonna do?
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: You're back to the loneliness.
• 40:13
  Speaker 6: Now you're back to It's like, baby, I was trying
• 40:16
  Speaker 6: to give give you tools. I was added. I was
• 40:18
  Speaker 6: adding to your life to give you another tool. This
• 40:20
  Speaker 6: was not to replace me.
• 40:23
  Speaker 5: Because I can't be replaced. Okay, he cannot be replaced.
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: There is nothing in this world, nobody in this world
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: that loves you. That he created us, says when you
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: think about he created us. He gave the ultimate sacrifice,
• 40:42
  Speaker 5: his only begotten son, because he loved us. That whoso
• 40:47
  Speaker 5: believe it shall not parents. We have ever last in life?
• 40:49
  Speaker 5: Do Were's a There's an eternal life after this. Can't
• 40:54
  Speaker 5: nobody in this world take care of me, love me?
• 40:58
  Speaker 5: None of that?
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: Like God right.
• 41:01
  Speaker 5: When he takes away desert, right when he when he
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: puts a hawk to a thing, it's really for our
• 41:09
  Speaker 5: protection and our safety because it gets dangerous. There's adultry,
• 41:15
  Speaker 5: it gets dangerous. It's so subtle though, and it could be,
• 41:19
  Speaker 5: but he loved that's he loves us so much that
• 41:21
  Speaker 5: he don't even want us to die in that he
• 41:23
  Speaker 5: don't want us to get He's like, no, no, no, I
• 41:25
  Speaker 5: have need of you. I have a purpose for you,
• 41:28
  Speaker 5: and I need you to see this, this hawt what
• 41:31
  Speaker 5: I've just stopped right now. I need you to know
• 41:33
  Speaker 5: that ain't nobody with you like I am very present help.
• 41:37
  Speaker 5: I will never leave you, nor for sake you. You
• 41:39
  Speaker 5: need to come back to the drawing board, get back
• 41:41
  Speaker 5: to the room. It was good because of the huge
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: win iness flesh.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: And so we might have.
• 41:45
  Speaker 5: Had people in our life who was as consistent as
• 41:48
  Speaker 5: a mentor a culture, spiritual man blah blah blah in
• 41:50
  Speaker 5: some aspects because we need that. And so then you
• 41:53
  Speaker 5: know we were lying it so heavily that we're not careful,
• 41:57
  Speaker 5: we will make them an enemy of God because we're
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: relying on them so much. But it's like, we know
• 42:01
  Speaker 5: that I read so much for this vessel that you
• 42:04
  Speaker 5: have strategically placed in my life for such a time
• 42:06
  Speaker 5: as this, for your great purpose that's bigger than the
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: both of us. So help this relationship be beneficial for
• 42:11
  Speaker 5: your glory, for the investment of your kingdom. Come against
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: every principality, every work of the endmit of a try
• 42:16
  Speaker 5: to destroy it. And like even whenever we get offended,
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: because you will, when we get offended with one another,
• 42:21
  Speaker 5: it's still for our good because God is using us
• 42:25
  Speaker 5: and that and and we get offended and we could
• 42:27
  Speaker 5: come back into humility, we could love, we can apologize,
• 42:29
  Speaker 5: and we could still go on or do the work
• 42:31
  Speaker 5: of the Lord in peace and purity of heart with
• 42:33
  Speaker 5: no ill intent towards each other. It's reconciliation ministry.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: That's just what it is.
• 42:39
  Speaker 5: It's still Christ Jesus alive in and through us doing
• 42:42
  Speaker 5: the work because ain't none of us perfect? So when
• 42:45
  Speaker 5: he's posing, you get what I'm trying to say, Well,
• 42:47
  Speaker 5: he stops a thing he wants us to see. Okay,
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: that's great. But I am the one who is with
• 42:54
  Speaker 5: you always and I have need of THEE and I
• 42:57
  Speaker 5: have something so amazing for you. I just need you
• 43:01
  Speaker 5: to come acquainted with my voice. Spend a little more
• 43:03
  Speaker 5: time I could give you. If it's finance's resource, I
• 43:06
  Speaker 5: could give you a million dollar dog gone vision strategy
• 43:09
  Speaker 5: right now.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: And you got it?
• 43:11
  Speaker 5: Hello, just ask come on, you got it? But if
• 43:16
  Speaker 5: you if you, if you get caught up and how
• 43:18
  Speaker 5: everyone else is doing it. You're gonna miss how he
• 43:21
  Speaker 5: has it set up for you.
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: You gotta stay set.
• 43:24
  Speaker 5: Apart, you gotta stay connected with him. You gotta be
• 43:26
  Speaker 5: intentional with your consecration, and you gotta trust that even
• 43:31
  Speaker 5: when people because sometimes this happened for me, I don't
• 43:34
  Speaker 5: know why I'm here. When I went on consecration, I
• 43:36
  Speaker 5: didn't do no broadcast about it. I did my due
• 43:39
  Speaker 5: diligence by way of integrity because I was holding you know,
• 43:41
  Speaker 5: certain positions as far as admin and other ministries and stuff.
• 43:44
  Speaker 5: And I communicated that's integrity just with the ones who
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: needed to know. The leaders just that, like because we
• 43:50
  Speaker 5: need to put someone in place to make sure you
• 43:52
  Speaker 5: know what I believe God called to do to assist
• 43:55
  Speaker 5: you whatever the case is still moving forward, right, and
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: the friends and the homies and and people like that.
• 44:02
  Speaker 5: When I couldn't respond, it wasn't because I was being funny,
• 44:05
  Speaker 5: but I trusted God so much I knew what he
• 44:07
  Speaker 5: told me. I said, Lord, I just pray that you
• 44:10
  Speaker 5: revealed to them by way of your spirit that there's
• 44:12
  Speaker 5: nothing personally going on. And when the time came back
• 44:15
  Speaker 5: where I was on you know, both like talking having conversations.
• 44:19
  Speaker 5: They were able to be excuse me, very honest about
• 44:21
  Speaker 5: what they thought. But then the Lord spoke to him.
• 44:23
  Speaker 5: I'm like, see, I trusted him that I could have
• 44:26
  Speaker 5: jacked up God even speaking to them by way of responding,
• 44:29
  Speaker 5: and he told me not to respond something as simple
• 44:31
  Speaker 5: as that. That's obedious and trusting him enough to carry
• 44:35
  Speaker 5: me through this season, this consecration and protect my friendships,
• 44:40
  Speaker 5: my relationships. You know what I mean That he's going
• 44:42
  Speaker 5: to cover all of that. That's trusting him on because
• 44:46
  Speaker 5: you know, I value relationship. I don't money, I don't
• 44:50
  Speaker 5: play that.
• 44:52
  Speaker 6: You said that, Yeah, when you just said there, it's
• 44:55
  Speaker 6: so interesting because I was just about to ask you,
• 44:58
  Speaker 6: like how in that space because I know so both
• 45:00
  Speaker 6: of you, both of us are like people, people people, right,
• 45:04
  Speaker 6: we love people, and when we love people, we love people.
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: It ain't no middle ground, you know what I'm saying.
• 45:10
  Speaker 6: I know, and conversation that we've talked about like that
• 45:15
  Speaker 6: period of time where people were like, Okay, you had
• 45:18
  Speaker 6: some people that was like oh you you had co
• 45:21
  Speaker 6: fun with me, But the people that could hear was like, oh,
• 45:24
  Speaker 6: let me be praying for her or whatnot. How do
• 45:28
  Speaker 6: you How has this made that that space of consecration,
• 45:34
  Speaker 6: What has that space of consecration taught you to present
• 45:38
  Speaker 6: ways to present yourself now? Because it's almost like you're
• 45:41
  Speaker 6: you're so delicate now. It's like, I can't be around everyone,
• 45:45
  Speaker 6: even through people that I love you, But the distance
• 45:48
  Speaker 6: got to be there because you're not there. The distance
• 45:50
  Speaker 6: only comes from if you come where I am, not
• 45:53
  Speaker 6: if I get back to where you are.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm hearing.
• 45:56
  Speaker 5: Oh, that's good because an iron sharpen it iron. It
• 46:01
  Speaker 5: challenges us all. It's uncomfortable for me too to be that,
• 46:05
  Speaker 5: you know, for that to be my stance, But I
• 46:08
  Speaker 5: can't fake or shake it. Did I feel like, Man,
• 46:10
  Speaker 5: I don't want to. I don't want to intervene with
• 46:13
  Speaker 5: what the Lord wants to do through them too. And
• 46:15
  Speaker 5: I could being in my selfish, you know, being selfish
• 46:19
  Speaker 5: and wanting to interject, wanted to rescue, wanted to get
• 46:23
  Speaker 5: in the middle of life. But it's like, how do
• 46:25
  Speaker 5: I gracefully, gracefully and still lovingly hold this stance and
• 46:31
  Speaker 5: trust you Lord with your child those people I have
• 46:34
  Speaker 5: relationship with.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: It's so good because.
• 46:36
  Speaker 5: It's very uncomfortable. It's so uncomfortable. I'll be like, Lord,
• 46:40
  Speaker 5: but I be crying and weeping, people like no, no, no,
• 46:44
  Speaker 5: I got it, I got it trust And then he
• 46:46
  Speaker 5: always brings us right back around. We circle back, and
• 46:49
  Speaker 5: it's just.
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: Be like, girl, can you give me more?
• 46:52
  Speaker 5: Like I feel like I got to challenge me with
• 46:53
  Speaker 5: consecration because some of them have come back, and I
• 46:56
  Speaker 5: always say I don't have it. I figured out. I'm
• 46:58
  Speaker 5: still learning, but I can share with you with the
• 46:59
  Speaker 5: Lord has revealed to me and how he used me.
• 47:02
  Speaker 5: But like the relationships, I haven't lost a relationship from
• 47:05
  Speaker 5: my consecrated lifestyle. That's how I know they sent by
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: God because I would have been like, if I have
• 47:10
  Speaker 5: a relation for God, I would have cut that relationship off,
• 47:13
  Speaker 5: like oh, you have to find him by duces. But
• 47:15
  Speaker 5: not stressing the Lord enough that when you know, you
• 47:19
  Speaker 5: become so sensitive. I'm not God. Even with my family,
• 47:25
  Speaker 5: it's like, I'm not God, and I dare not get
• 47:27
  Speaker 5: in the way of what the Lord wants to do
• 47:30
  Speaker 5: in and through our lives individually and the relationship. And
• 47:34
  Speaker 5: you know, he teaches you how to properly communicate at
• 47:36
  Speaker 5: a time, but I mean, you know, it's hope that
• 47:38
  Speaker 5: that's your question.
• 47:39
  Speaker 6: No, it does answer my question because you it was
• 47:43
  Speaker 6: something that was so highlighted what you just said.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: You said, I have to trust God with him.
• 47:48
  Speaker 6: Right. It's we talked recently about the sense of control
• 47:53
  Speaker 6: and why we feel like we got to control the dynamic.
• 47:58
  Speaker 6: If it's really if we really say, oh, we're only
• 48:02
  Speaker 6: doing God relationships or God or damned relationships, why not
• 48:06
  Speaker 6: allow God to control the relationship and maneuver through the relationship.
• 48:10
  Speaker 6: If he says, hey, don't talk to this person right now,
• 48:13
  Speaker 6: give this this this thing space. Let him do what
• 48:17
  Speaker 6: he needs to do so that when it comes back together,
• 48:19
  Speaker 6: you not having to fix anything. But if you're putting
• 48:23
  Speaker 6: your hands in something that God is saying, hey, give
• 48:25
  Speaker 6: injure me and be silent, remove yourself from this situation,
• 48:30
  Speaker 6: you're going to mess up something that God ordain good,
• 48:35
  Speaker 6: that God ordained good.
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: All right, don't go ahead what you were saying.
• 48:39
  Speaker 5: I was just saying, Yeah, I keep going.
• 48:43
  Speaker 6: This here is so good. I keep hearing the Holy
• 48:45
  Speaker 6: Spirit in my ear say you can't miss this. The
• 48:51
  Speaker 6: word purity comes up when we talk about consecration, and
• 48:56
  Speaker 6: you said it a couple of times when we think
• 48:59
  Speaker 6: about purity naturally everything I'm just gonna talk about me.
• 49:03
  Speaker 6: I ain't gona talk about the moody. So the purity
• 49:07
  Speaker 6: word is frustrating for me, if I can be honest,
• 49:11
  Speaker 6: because of the way it's been taught, and it's been
• 49:16
  Speaker 6: taught more so as a physical sense than a lifestyle sense,
• 49:22
  Speaker 6: and it makes me feel like I'm less of a
• 49:27
  Speaker 6: Christian when that period words comes up, because everything has
• 49:32
  Speaker 6: not necessarily been pure. Like I'm just like, okay, God,
• 49:34
  Speaker 6: I'm trying to experience your grades. I'm trying to do
• 49:36
  Speaker 6: this or whatever. How how do you what's your relationship
• 49:42
  Speaker 6: like with purity?
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: Right? How did you get from that place? If you
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: were in that place?
• 49:46
  Speaker 6: And then I want to get into it, because I'm
• 49:48
  Speaker 6: gonna give you, give you the four then I want
• 49:50
  Speaker 6: to get into No, let me just ask.
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: That question first.
• 49:53
  Speaker 6: What's your relationship with purity that what does that look
• 49:56
  Speaker 6: like for you?
• 49:58
  Speaker 5: So purity from me is having a desire to do right,
• 50:05
  Speaker 5: having a desire to be integral, having a desire to
• 50:09
  Speaker 5: practice the word of God. We're not gonna be perfect.
• 50:14
  Speaker 5: And you're right, I totally agree with you because I
• 50:16
  Speaker 5: was the same way. There was a time that you know,
• 50:19
  Speaker 5: I reknew purity as like the physical aspect of you know,
• 50:25
  Speaker 5: how we live our life and relationships, or like sexuality,
• 50:28
  Speaker 5: all of that, you just have to be perfect, and
• 50:31
  Speaker 5: that's not true purity is it's a reflection of your
• 50:34
  Speaker 5: heart's desire to be in right standing with the Lord's
• 50:38
  Speaker 5: not saying're gonna be perfect, But I want to actively
• 50:41
  Speaker 5: be a participant in practicing the word of God so
• 50:44
  Speaker 5: that my heart would be clean right that I would
• 50:49
  Speaker 5: be a right standing And the scripture says created me
• 50:52
  Speaker 5: a clean heart and renewed right spirit within me. I
• 50:55
  Speaker 5: want my mind to be renewed, be transformed by the
• 50:59
  Speaker 5: renewing of your mind. You know, It's really just that,
• 51:03
  Speaker 5: because if we could be honest think about it says
• 51:06
  Speaker 5: there was a time I know for you, I know
• 51:08
  Speaker 5: for myself that I didn't desire to be in right standing.
• 51:11
  Speaker 5: I didn't desire to live out the world of God.
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: To put it there, I.
• 51:16
  Speaker 5: Didn't desire I desired all the ungodly things all the time.
• 51:21
  Speaker 5: It was a craving that I had. I was hungry
• 51:23
  Speaker 5: for still masking in front of the people. But in
• 51:27
  Speaker 5: the midnight out your girl was your girl was dirty.
• 51:30
  Speaker 5: She's a fifty Diana. Okay, let's be honest. The second there,
• 51:34
  Speaker 5: it's dirty Diana. That's the song. Just be real. But
• 51:41
  Speaker 5: by way again, by way of relationship and with Christ,
• 51:45
  Speaker 5: with the Lord growing into that, pursuing him, his word
• 51:51
  Speaker 5: just began to change my desires. I didn't just say
• 51:54
  Speaker 5: I gotta stop doing this, gotta stop doing that. And
• 51:57
  Speaker 5: you know, at some point in your and when you're
• 51:59
  Speaker 5: a baby, y'all got Charlotte Stuf down there. That was
• 52:01
  Speaker 5: on the habits. But the desires are still there. Hello,
• 52:06
  Speaker 5: But I get to the point right to what I'm
• 52:09
  Speaker 5: saying here is just it's the desire to be in
• 52:11
  Speaker 5: right standing because sometimes Holy Spirit, let's be honest, Holy
• 52:15
  Speaker 5: Spirit will keep you even when you don't.
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: Want to be kept at time, talk about it.
• 52:19
  Speaker 5: That is a reflection that you desire to do good
• 52:22
  Speaker 5: because even when you wanted to do X, Y and Z,
• 52:25
  Speaker 5: I protected you from you. That's what he said. Oh
• 52:27
  Speaker 5: I'm like, oh you are really, I'm really working this
• 52:30
  Speaker 5: thing out, Lord, because that was a time I wasn't.
• 52:34
  Speaker 5: I was gone. Every decision I was making that decision
• 52:37
  Speaker 5: like consecutively, not missing a bet, but over time it
• 52:41
  Speaker 5: gets to where, okay, I can see we ain't do
• 52:44
  Speaker 5: that like a last time. We ever carry that time
• 52:48
  Speaker 5: and you start to see the Holy Spirit really being
• 52:51
  Speaker 5: a very present help in time of trouble. So that's
• 52:55
  Speaker 5: momentum I'm able to build off up. And even when
• 52:58
  Speaker 5: I fall again, he's still to.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: The backslide of hello, come on, you.
• 53:02
  Speaker 5: Got to say his grace and his mercy, and how
• 53:05
  Speaker 5: he already covered us under the blood, and how we already.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: Trying to say no. I hear you like you're like.
• 53:11
  Speaker 5: We got to do good. As if he's gonna beat us,
• 53:14
  Speaker 5: he's you know, because we have take it here too.
• 53:17
  Speaker 5: There was there was a connotation of of of you know,
• 53:20
  Speaker 5: we how we see God. I remember that in one
• 53:22
  Speaker 5: of the inner healing courses I took several years ago,
• 53:24
  Speaker 5: we would see God from the natural eye how we
• 53:26
  Speaker 5: see our father. So I thought he was always out
• 53:28
  Speaker 5: to get me, like I couldn't do right. I just
• 53:31
  Speaker 5: anticipated him ready to discipline me. But that's before I
• 53:34
  Speaker 5: knew and learned that Okay, he's chasing those his love,
• 53:37
  Speaker 5: so the discipline is necessary, but he's not out to
• 53:39
  Speaker 5: get me like he's this this this.
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: Lie you know what I mean, He's a lot.
• 53:43
  Speaker 5: Of fother so embracing that along the way, allowing his
• 53:46
  Speaker 5: word to come alive over time, give ourselves grace and
• 53:50
  Speaker 5: allow his work, his word to do the working in
• 53:52
  Speaker 5: us and not us trying to live a lifestyle, you know,
• 53:55
  Speaker 5: make the word, justify the word to fit our lifestyle.
• 53:58
  Speaker 5: It's like, no, no, no, I have to yield for and
• 54:01
  Speaker 5: give myself grace through this journey because it is a journey,
• 54:04
  Speaker 5: and just trust and believe. I know where I'm going.
• 54:07
  Speaker 5: I got victory in this test right now. Hello. That's
• 54:10
  Speaker 5: the faith part of it. That's the faith part of it.
• 54:15
  Speaker 5: That's the faith part of it. Girl.
• 54:19
  Speaker 6: Listen, you see I don't know if you see me.
• 54:21
  Speaker 6: I'm over here rubbing my legs, just.
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: Trying to stay calm. Child. I'm trying to stay calm
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: because you're telling me so good.
• 54:30
  Speaker 6: I can't leave without asking this question on so connected
• 54:34
  Speaker 6: to the idea of purity. You've been through some things, child,
• 54:40
  Speaker 6: you and I know people say I always say that
• 54:44
  Speaker 6: I have been able to witness you. Yeah, oh, I
• 54:50
  Speaker 6: have been able to witness you. M hm.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: Go through the wilderness season, go through some really painful
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: points like as a grown woman that you should not
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: be experiencing.
• 55:07
  Speaker 6: Like if I really it ain't my story to tell,
• 55:12
  Speaker 6: but when she tell it, it's gonna be told, okay,
• 55:16
  Speaker 6: Like how.
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: Do you remain pure in a place of pain?
• 55:26
  Speaker 5: Oh? Lord girl, how do you remain pure in a
• 55:32
  Speaker 5: place of pain? Two? For you to know the most
• 55:40
  Speaker 5: recent wilderness season that God has brought me through and
• 55:44
  Speaker 5: on the other side of it still you know, I
• 55:48
  Speaker 5: can remember the pain that I felt was just so
• 55:54
  Speaker 5: unexplainable from grieving too, hurting in a way that I'm
• 56:01
  Speaker 5: curled up in the middle of the floor every day,
• 56:03
  Speaker 5: like don't even know if I'm breathing, just curled up, crying, balling,
• 56:09
  Speaker 5: not knowing the sense of that where.
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: Do I go from here?
• 56:13
  Speaker 5: But even in those moments validating my own emotions, being
• 56:18
  Speaker 5: honest with where I'm mad, where I'm feeling, God was
• 56:21
  Speaker 5: with me, and he knew that he was going to
• 56:25
  Speaker 5: have to carry me through right and not knowing just
• 56:30
  Speaker 5: like even when I was mad at God, to be honest,
• 56:32
  Speaker 5: I was mad, frustrated with him, confused at times, but
• 56:36
  Speaker 5: he would always bring me back to what he's already shown,
• 56:39
  Speaker 5: what he's already spoken to me that would just ultimately
• 56:42
  Speaker 5: keep me in a place of like having hope. But
• 56:45
  Speaker 5: it took a while. But as far as remaining pure,
• 56:49
  Speaker 5: it was only because of the way he carried me. Honestly,
• 56:54
  Speaker 5: he carried me in such a way that I cannot
• 56:58
  Speaker 5: deny his love for me. I can't deny being able
• 57:02
  Speaker 5: to trust him to keep me because it's like, you know,
• 57:09
  Speaker 5: when God, I'm just gonna say here, God revealed something
• 57:13
  Speaker 5: about my my my blood line that I never knew right,
• 57:17
  Speaker 5: and now trac him back, I'm seeing how God was
• 57:21
  Speaker 5: with me even then and I didn't even know. I
• 57:24
  Speaker 5: was blind, didn't have a clue. Thirty six years what
• 57:28
  Speaker 5: and you find out a truth about who you are
• 57:31
  Speaker 5: and your parents and your bloodline and all this that
• 57:35
  Speaker 5: I can't I can't deny. I can't deny that God,
• 57:39
  Speaker 5: you has you had a plan in place even then
• 57:41
  Speaker 5: and I'm just not I didn't even know. So it
• 57:45
  Speaker 5: just highlights, Yeah, and I got you now. And there's
• 57:48
  Speaker 5: something that's coming along the way. While you're in this
• 57:51
  Speaker 5: vulnerable place, while you're so open, while you're being processed,
• 57:56
  Speaker 5: you're trying to heal, you're trying to you know what,
• 57:58
  Speaker 5: I mean while you're while you're in this place that's
• 58:00
  Speaker 5: so detrimental. It highlights I got you. I'm gonna protect you.
• 58:05
  Speaker 5: You're not gonna see it coming.
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: I got you.
• 58:08
  Speaker 5: And I mean just resting in his hands, trusting that
• 58:14
  Speaker 5: he has us because he keeps us from things we
• 58:19
  Speaker 5: don't even know. Sis, we don't even know, we don't
• 58:21
  Speaker 5: see it. But sometimes we get so caught up on
• 58:23
  Speaker 5: everything we do know that there's a round that we
• 58:26
  Speaker 5: have no idea about. There's a trace we don't know.
• 58:30
  Speaker 5: That's how big our God is. We can't fathom just
• 58:34
  Speaker 5: how how the infamous wastes that he's protecting us, he's got,
• 58:37
  Speaker 5: he's providing us, he's keeping us with danger, scene and unseen.
• 58:42
  Speaker 5: He's he's Jehovah boy. He's fighting for us when we
• 58:44
  Speaker 5: don't even ask him to fight for us, okay, and
• 58:47
  Speaker 5: he's keeping us even we don't want to be kept.
• 58:50
  Speaker 5: That was times ash I'm trying to mess up. I
• 58:52
  Speaker 5: tried it ultimate ultimate failure. It was a joke, like
• 58:55
  Speaker 5: what you ain't about that life. But but even when
• 59:00
  Speaker 5: you're vulnerable the enemy, he knows what you were used
• 59:03
  Speaker 5: to that you will try to your fleshes will try
• 59:06
  Speaker 5: to revert back to that, and it's just gonna be
• 59:08
  Speaker 5: a joke. God be like, you're really not there, but
• 59:12
  Speaker 5: the human this flesh of ours. Yeah, that's that's natural.
• 59:17
  Speaker 5: That's not that's not not of the norm, but by
• 59:19
  Speaker 5: way of my spirit, not by might, not by power,
• 59:22
  Speaker 5: but by my spirit, says Lord, I gotta shield around you.
• 59:25
  Speaker 5: I ain't gonna let that happen, you know, I'm I'm
• 59:28
  Speaker 5: gonna shut it down. You canna make all these plans.
• 59:30
  Speaker 5: I'm still the sovereign when that's in charge here, Hello,
• 59:36
  Speaker 5: and I trust God to that. Yes, we have a
• 59:38
  Speaker 5: will right and and we will, we will fall, we
• 59:41
  Speaker 5: will do some things. But ultimately I'm talking about reverting
• 59:44
  Speaker 5: back and living a lifestyle. Yeah, because Holy Spirit is
• 59:49
  Speaker 5: alive and you not convince You're gonna tell you, but
• 59:51
  Speaker 5: and you're gonna be grateful for it when you wake
• 59:53
  Speaker 5: up in the morning. You didn't let it be.
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: So I know you hear what I'm saying.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 5: And it builds you more and more. Girl, I'm not
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 5: it builds you, It stirs you. I mean, Lord has
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 5: helped me from doing some things when my mind was
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 5: made up trying to make it up, and now you're
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 5: on all this, all this work you've done thus far,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 5: it ain't gonna work. It won't work. It ain't going
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 5: down the way you think you're going down, and FAST's
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 5: gonna be a joke. And then I hear the Lord
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 5: telling me on the way to try to mess up.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 5: The joke's gonna be on you. Yeah, you hear what
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 5: I'm saying. The joke is about to be on you.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 5: Because you know why his name is on the line.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 5: I dare not he's he won't even let his name cod.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: He won't even let his.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 5: Name go down like that. It ain't even about me
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 5: at the end of the day, this is not about me.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 6: Cand Okay, just wait a second, drink some of your water,
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 6: please out, Just wait, wait, wait, mad I think I
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 6: want to say thank you sis for showing sharing your
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 6: story like it's been really you know, I love sitting
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 6: over here and just just listening and thinking and and
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 6: seeing what the Holy Spirit is it's saying. And I
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 6: just kept hearing and say it's a choice, right, like
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 6: we can we can choose to let the things of
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 6: our past keep us bound in these spaces. We can
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 6: choose that that's what we know, yeah, but there's got
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 6: to be something. There is something in us that's that's
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 6: that's pulling us and telling us there's something a little
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 6: bit more right. And then once we lean into that
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 6: thing and start to surrender to it, like you said,
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 6: it's a it's a it's a heart journey. Like we
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 6: don't have it all figured out. I'm talking to myself.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 6: I don't have it all figured out right, but there's
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 6: this desire there that knowing that there's more. And I'm like, Lord,
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 6: I know that there's more. And so as I've been
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 6: surrendering and journeying with God, you know, he's been snatching,
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 6: snatching my little edges. You know, he been you know,
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 6: pushing and prying and all these things that don't feel good.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 6: But when I look back, I'm like, Dang, I used
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 6: to have this desire to do this thing.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: I don't even have that desire no more.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 6: Like I used to want to go to these different places,
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 6: and I don't even have that desire no more. Because
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 6: as we talked about consecration and fasting, it's we've we've
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 6: become so accustomed to the religious act of it that
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 6: we don't realize that there's a consecrated place just for
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 6: you because of what God has for you to do
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 6: in this space. And as we just begin to lean
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 6: in into the Lord, man, there's a there's a there's
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 6: another level of trust, a deeper level of love that
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 6: we just go.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: In to Him in. That's just just just beautiful.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 6: And so you hear people talk about all the time
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 6: like it's some mystical thing, but it really isn't. It's
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 6: really just a yes and a surrender and leaning into it.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 6: You may not, we may not always get it right.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 6: We're not gonna always get it perfect. But if your
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 6: heart is to serve God, you know what I'm saying,
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 6: he can use that, you know what I'm saying. So
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 6: this has just been a beautiful conversation, man, and it's
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 6: just your your journey and your testimony is just so beautiful, Cis,
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 6: and I just can't wait for the full release of
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 6: it because you know, it's just another level of freedom,
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 6: another level of freedom. I like that, Candys listen, Limbo Limba.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 6: But I was about to pick up my mic too,
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 6: you know what I'm saying. You can see me girl
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 6: the next time she want to be on the show.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: She got to be here. I'm not anything less. I'm
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: gonna pick you up.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but said she's playing it all coming because I
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 6: done been to Texas. Last couple down we hung out,
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 6: but now it's time for without because normally when we're
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 6: around each other, we're in ministry mode, like we're in
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 6: pure ministry mode and it's like, okay, girl, let's go
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 6: to BUCkies. But no, I am so like grateful for you.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 6: And I'm gonna tell you this publicly, Candice, you learning
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 6: you there was a guard around my heart with women period,
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 6: but also women in ministry.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: Not to say I had.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 6: A beef or anything like that, but like to be
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 6: so close and so so known in a space where
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 6: where we're in right, you have covered me in a
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 6: way where I didn't know I could trust somebody like you,
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 6: and you've allowed me to learn how to trust people
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 6: that that are also in that same world as close
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 6: knit as I am. If that makes sense, I think
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 6: you get my drift. So it's like it's like you've
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 6: revived a space in my heart that I didn't know
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 6: that needed revival, and so I'm just grateful for you.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 6: I'm so excited for what God is gonna do. This
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 6: author thing keeps ringing in my ear. And I know
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 6: you already an author, but I just hear this book
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 6: is the best seller, like the one that's being birthed out.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: Is a best seller.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 6: Because this part of the story has to had to
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 6: be It had to happen so the story could be complete,
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 6: so it could be in this in this project, because
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 6: things are gonna be breaking.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 2: We talk about being a shop shooter.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 6: You ain't gonna know who you delivered because the words
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 6: that you put in a book, the words that you
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 6: put on your YouTube, the words that you put it's
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 6: gonna hit the homes of people and it's gonna shatter them.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 6: And secrets are gonna be unlocked. Things are gonna be
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 6: things are gonna be made known. Right the light is coming.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 6: And so I'm just I am so excited for you,
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 6: Like I'm so excited. I'm so happy to be a part,
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 6: a part, just a witness to your story. So one
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 6: of the things that we do, which you know on
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 6: just as we give our against the final word. Okay,
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 6: So if there is anything that was left unsaid, anything
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 6: that you wanted to make sure in this space that
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 6: you want to make sure is clear, the floor is
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 6: yours the flor.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 5: Oh Lord Jesus. Yeah, I would say definitely. The one
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 5: thing I want for everyone to take away here is
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 5: simply surrendered to the Lord, Surrendered to the work of
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 5: the Lord, sorended to the will of the Lord, surrender
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 5: to the spirit of the Lord.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 3: Surrender to the.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 5: Idea of how you know God and get to know
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 5: Him in a way that's so deeply affectionate and intimate
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 5: that you too become a sharpshooter that you won't miss
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 5: the mark, that you stay in sync with the Lord.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 5: You stay and flow with the Lord, and you're able
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 5: to ride the way from glory to glory, from faith
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 5: to faith.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 3: Uh.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 5: You know, for all the guys, all the all the
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 5: Guy has for you and wants to do any and
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 5: through your life ultimately for someone else's life that he's
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 5: gonna place in your path. And it's all about Kingdom advancement.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 5: So that's what I'll say, That's what I want to leave.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: I love it. I love it, man. This is a
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: good one.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 7: Yeah, to be on here.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 5: Just know that I love you and I know we'll
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 5: talk more, but just ultimately just overjoyed and grateful for
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 5: who you are.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 3: The relationship that we have.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 5: And uh all, God is doing anything through you like
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 5: it's massive, so massive, and I know it's gonna yield
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 5: fruit beyond your imagination, every desire of yours. He's gonna
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 5: he's going to exceed it. He's already doing it. So
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 5: don't stop dreaming, don't stop being obedient, don't stop yielding
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 5: to the Lord. Never lose your oil, your grace, your
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 5: love for people, your authenticity, And I know that you won't,
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 5: but I'm just saying, just know there's there are by
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 5: the millions of people who are in need of the
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 5: call that's on your life. But airways of just ass
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 5: is gonna go through nations, countries, places that your feet
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 5: may never land, trust and believe, cultivating this kind of
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 5: space for God's people. It's like a diamond, just so
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 5: many facts of who you are, man, and I could
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 5: just see Him just highlighting you in such a way
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 5: that's like you know, you know how they say it,
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 5: get the diamond out of rough But I could just
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 5: see God highlighting you in such a way, and it's
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 5: just gonna the beams pierce through the hearts and minds
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 5: of God people that they too would just come draw
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 5: closer to the Lord. So don't stop doing what you're
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 5: doing because there's a need for you. The oil, the crushing,
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 5: it wasn't by happening, saying it wasn't wasted, but there's
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 5: a need for you.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 3: And this is amazing because I know I feel restored.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 5: Being on here and like start on another level. So
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 5: you know that I love you, not on you deeply, Cherishy.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 6: I love you too, Sis. I'm my gosh, this was
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 6: so good, y'all. Let us know in the chat which
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 6: y'all what y'all think, because baby, I don't, I am
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 6: I'm I don't have any more words. Cannon said everything, Desirae,
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 6: this was good. I love you, girl, can thank you
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 6: again so much. Community, y'all know what it is until
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 6: we until next week, Until next time. Remember life could
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 6: be much more simple if you just asked.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: Since you've made it this far, you might as well
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: connect with us on all social media platforms but the
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: Jessica S.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: Smith.
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: I know I won't see you back until week, but
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: until then, remember to love always yourself and always thank.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 4: Thank God for one another day. Hey, hey, I know
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 4: we could be another way. Hey, pray thank God for
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 4: another day. Hey Hey, I'm just thankful for another day.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 4: Hey hey another day, oh, another day wise, another day
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 4: to get it right, another day to rise up, another
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 4: day living, another day. We loved ones. I always remember
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 4: hold it down for a ball one.
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 3: Yepkay