Latest / Cumberland Trace Church of Christ (Formerly Lehman Ave Church of Christ) / Equipped 2026: Ladies: Panel Discussion: "Questions and Insights for Ladies"

Transcript

Equipped 2026: Ladies: Panel Discussion: "Questions and Insights for Ladies" · Cumberland Trace Church of Christ (Formerly Lehman Ave Church of Christ)

• 0:00
  Good afternoon ladies. Thank you so much for being here. We're going to go ahead and get started so we can make the most of our time.
• 0:08
  First thing we're going to do is introduce these three ladies that are up here.
• 0:12
  And we have Emily Pollard right here to my left. Now, this short bio that I'm going to read was actually written by her husband.
• 0:21
  I'm just going to share it just the way he wrote it.
• 0:25
  Emily Pollard married Carl in 2021 and has been a constant source of strength and encouragement in both their family and ministry.
• 0:33
  She works tirelessly with the young girls and ladies of the Scottsville Church of Christ in Scottsville, Kentucky, investing in their spiritual growth and faithfully serving wherever there is a need.
• 0:43
  Emily is a devoted mother to their three children, Rich and Laura, and Jan, and is eagerly preparing to welcome their fourth child later this year.
• 0:52
  Above all, she has a deep love for the Lord and a heart committed to serving Him.
• 0:57
  Second is Brittany Kemp. She is a member here. Her husband also preaches for this congregation here at Cumberland Trace.
• 1:06
  They've been here since 2021. She and Laura have been married for 13 years. They have two children, Nadia and Andre.
• 1:14
  She's a 2019 graduate of Liberty University and has been on missionary trips to Nicaragua, Panama, and Peru.
• 1:23
  She's currently attending Abilene Christian to pursue a degree in marriage and family therapy.
• 1:29
  She is a well-thought-after speaker. If you know anything about her at all, you know she's hilarious.
• 1:37
  We're especially thankful that she's the reason we have bluegrass beans. That is her, Nadia, and Andre. She does that for all of us.
• 1:44
  So thanks for sharing that talent with us.
• 1:47
  And then down here on the end, we have Tiffany Tequila, a Christian preacher's wife, grateful mom to three wonderful, almost-grown children.
• 1:55
  She and her husband Nick have been married for almost 27 years, and have spent much of that time serving the Lord's Church together.
• 2:03
  She loves teaching and encouraging women, teaching Sunday school classes, ladies' follow classes, speaking at ladies' days and retreats.
• 2:10
  If you have a chance to look at the bookstore, there's a whole half table out there that's filled with her books.
• 2:17
  And her specialty is, of course, as she has degrees, multiple degrees, licensed degrees in counseling.
• 2:24
  They're on anxiety, self-worth, just really, really good things out there. Please check it out.
• 2:31
  They have, she and her husband own a Christian Love Counseling. It's an office here in Bowling Green.
• 2:37
  And there's a display table out in the display area, so check that out as well.
• 2:42
  They specialize in Christian counseling and supporting those facing anxiety, depression, grief, and other emotional challenges.
• 2:50
  So, we are grateful to have all three of these ladies here. I'm going to start them off with a question.
• 2:55
  They're going to answer them, and we will learn from them. I'm not going to be saying very much.
• 3:00
  I'm going to try to give them as much of the time as they need.
• 3:03
  And first, we're going to start with Emily. I'm going to start off with a question, and then Sam.
• 3:09
  How do you stay spiritually consistent in busy or overwhelming seasons of life? How do you stay spiritually consistent?
• 3:19
  When I first heard this question, I immediately just thought about Bible study.
• 3:24
  That's the first thing I thought. I thought, okay, so the team, you talked about having the perfect Bible study routine.
• 3:31
  And then, the more I thought about it, I just thought about what consistency really means.
• 3:36
  And it's really not about having a rigid schedule. It doesn't mean that you do the same thing every day.
• 3:44
  It doesn't even always mean that you know ahead of time how you're going to study that day or whatever.
• 3:50
  I mean, because life just changes all the time.
• 3:53
  So, when I first became a mom, I really struggled with this because I thought, I'm not doing this right.
• 3:59
  You know, I don't read every day. I don't have certain times that I do these things.
• 4:04
  And then, I started looking at it different. And I thought, what is my spiritual trajectory?
• 4:11
  So, is there a positive trend?
• 4:14
  Can I say, over this period of time, from then to now, I love God more.
• 4:20
  That I know more about His Word.
• 4:22
  That I've seen other people grow who are around me.
• 4:26
  That I've taken hold of opportunities that I've been given.
• 4:30
  You know, that's what consistency is.
• 4:33
  It's not a certain schedule that you stick to for the rest of your life because life just changes so much.
• 4:39
  It's about every part of your life being spiritual.
• 4:44
  So, instead of thinking about it like a light switch that we flip on at a certain time during the day, it's always on.
• 4:51
  So, every moment, there is a chance to see God.
• 4:56
  I think Abraham and Joseph, and I haven't had to go to very many lessons this week, but I'm sure you guys have.
• 5:02
  And studying Genesis, there's just so many people in Genesis where you can see this ring true.
• 5:07
  God was with them, but they weren't perfect.
• 5:09
  They had times where they made their own choices for their own reasons, but they still kept moving forward.
• 5:17
  That trajectory, that faithfulness was always going up.
• 5:21
  You know, Joseph had a glimpse of what was going to come through his dreams, but he didn't really know how that was going to happen.
• 5:30
  He didn't know what God was going to do to make that happen.
• 5:33
  And it didn't tell him, this is what you should do every day to make this happen.
• 5:37
  He stayed faithful with every moment he was given.
• 5:40
  So, spiritual consistency is more about taking the time throughout the day to say,
• 5:47
  Oh God, okay God, this part of my life, which should be every part, is in your hands.
• 5:52
  Let me make the most of it.
• 5:54
  With your kids, we just take every chance.
• 5:58
  Every time they ask a question, just take the time to answer.
• 6:01
  Take the time to use it to share with them an attribute of God.
• 6:06
  Even if you can't give them a book chapter verse right there, just talk about how great God is.
• 6:11
  Do that with your spouse.
• 6:13
  Take what you're learning during the week and let that guide you.
• 6:17
  When you come to an assembly, they're giving you things to study.
• 6:20
  You don't always have to come up with it by yourself.
• 6:23
  Take that, dwell on it during the week.
• 6:25
  Use it.
• 6:27
  As a preacher, usually I feel like it always gives me something that I end up needing that week.
• 6:32
  And if I've really stored it in my heart and I've been mulling it over and chewing on it since I heard it,
• 6:37
  since I read it, it's going to come out when we need it the most.
• 6:41
  And that to me is what spiritual consistency is more than a schedule.
• 6:46
  It's just taking every moment, like Abraham when he left everything.
• 6:51
  From that point on, every part of his life was, okay, God, how are you going to use this?
• 6:57
  Let me have the faith to let you use this.
• 7:00
  And he kept doing that over and over and over again.
• 7:05
  Okay, I'm going to pass that down to Brittany.
• 7:10
  Okay, so first of all, a little bit about me.
• 7:14
  I want to be that cutesy on-train girl.
• 7:17
  I really do.
• 7:18
  I want to get up in the morning and I want to tell y'all, as much as I love making bluegrass beans,
• 7:23
  I also want to tell y'all that I actually live that life.
• 7:26
  And I get up every morning and I make myself coffee.
• 7:29
  And then I sit at the table and I Bible Mark and study my Bible.
• 7:33
  I don't do none of that, y'all.
• 7:36
  That's who I want to be.
• 7:40
  But like Emily said, life happens and that's not always the case.
• 7:45
  And even though I have an 11-year-old and a 13-year-old, Mama is still the main name that gets called all the time.
• 7:52
  And I'm going to tell you right now, I got blackout curtains in my room,
• 7:55
  so if I can get in another two, three, four hours of sleep, I'm going to do that.
• 8:01
  And so for me, consistency, and I like what Emily said about consistency being am I spiritually mature,
• 8:13
  maturer than where I was two months ago, a year ago, two years ago.
• 8:19
  That's what consistency looks like to me as well.
• 8:22
  And so for me, it was about trying to find unique ways to like read my Bible.
• 8:26
  So like my audio Bible, I like to do that.
• 8:29
  I love music, and at any moment you could probably catch me doing a little one-two step of some sort because I love music.
• 8:36
  But there were also days I would find myself like as much as I want to listen to like R&B or music of some sort like that,
• 8:43
  I found I would get overwhelmed.
• 8:46
  And so starting my day with an inspirational song, a hymn of some sort.
• 8:52
  You know, sometimes when I'm getting in the car, I automatically want to turn on the music,
• 8:56
  but I've also found that as I've gotten older, like I like to sit in the quiet.
• 8:59
  And when I'm driving and sitting in the quiet, I'm sitting and I'm meditating on things, thinking about things.
• 9:05
  You know, what does God want for me?
• 9:07
  How do I need to be raising my kids?
• 9:09
  You know, taking the time to self-reflect.
• 9:12
  Am I being the wife that I need to be?
• 9:14
  Am I being the friend that I need to be?
• 9:16
  So that for me was about the consistency.
• 9:19
  So just in the busy times, finding unique ways to still read my Bible or listen to scripture.
• 9:25
  So I do that with my audio Bible.
• 9:28
  Keeping a prayer list I did on Amazon because I told y'all I like to be on trend and I want the cutesy stuff.
• 9:34
  So I had ordered me a prayer journal, and I found it on Amazon.
• 9:38
  And basically I would just write out the prayers that I would like to have answered.
• 9:43
  I would check off if I prayed on these things.
• 9:46
  And then as time goes on on that same page or maybe on like the back of it, there's a section where you write down answered prayers.
• 9:53
  And obviously we know God doesn't work in our own time.
• 9:55
  He works as he wants to.
• 9:57
  So sometimes you could write a prayer down and you're not coming back until like two or three months later,
• 10:03
  flipping this page back and realizing, oh, yeah, I prayed for this.
• 10:05
  And then recognizing God answered this prayer for me this way.
• 10:08
  And I have found that that has been so encouraging to me.
• 10:12
  And I don't keep up on it as much as I should, but that is something that I like to do.
• 10:18
  And obviously some of the simple things like just reading and praying first thing in the morning before you do anything else.
• 10:25
  Hebrews 10, 24 through 25 says, and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,
• 10:32
  not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another all the more as you see the day drawn near.
• 10:38
  And so another part of being consistent is whenever you have the opportunity to be with your brothers and sisters in Christ,
• 10:45
  take that opportunity to do so.
• 10:47
  I know life gets busy.
• 10:48
  We all have extracurricular activities.
• 10:50
  And I'm not saying you've got to make every single church event there is.
• 10:54
  But if you can make it and you don't want to come, I would have to ask why.
• 11:00
  Like why wouldn't you want to be with the brethren?
• 11:03
  Because they're going to encourage you.
• 11:05
  They're going to motivate us to want to.
• 11:08
  Like we're all striving for the same thing.
• 11:10
  So encouraging one another.
• 11:12
  We all have cell phones.
• 11:14
  So texting people, just thought about you, praying for you, how's your day going, different things like that.
• 11:20
  And so that's how I have found my phone to stay consistent.
• 11:25
  My audio Bible, starting my day with prayer before I do anything else,
• 11:30
  and sometimes just sitting in my car and not listening to any music,
• 11:34
  and meditating on God's word and just self-reflecting on how I can be a better Christian.
• 11:39
  But then also, you know, if I do feel the need to listen to some music,
• 11:44
  turning on some inspirational music is a great way to do things as well.
• 11:50
  So, yeah.
• 11:56
  Well, I have to start by saying I completely agree with what they're saying.
• 11:59
  They're on such a right track with, it's about the small moments.
• 12:04
  We have to find the small moments to anchor ourselves when everything else feels chaotic,
• 12:09
  everything else is shifting, and like I said, we don't know what's going to happen from one day to the next.
• 12:13
  So it's how do I seek God, how do I make time for Him, when we're all in different seasons too.
• 12:19
  You know, you've got a toddler waking you up three times in the middle of the night, and you're exhausted.
• 12:24
  Or you've got kids that are involved in every sport and school activity,
• 12:27
  and you're running everywhere and about to pull your hair out.
• 12:30
  You know, we're all in a different moment, and so I think it's important to remember,
• 12:34
  it's about the relationship, not a set of rules or checklists.
• 12:39
  We're doing this because we want to be connected to God.
• 12:43
  We're doing this because He matters to us.
• 12:46
  A very wise woman I was just talking to said,
• 12:49
  we will do anything we can to spend time with our kids and grandkids, right?
• 12:53
  It's not because somebody's making us do it, it's because they're important.
• 12:56
  We want to do those things so we find time.
• 12:59
  It should be that way with God.
• 13:01
  So as I was saying, you know, we find what works for us.
• 13:04
  For me, I'm a night owl, so usually I would say when I do my Bible reading, my studying at night,
• 13:08
  well then I got busy, next thing I know I'm in the middle of trying to read and I'm falling asleep.
• 13:12
  It's like, okay, something's got to tip.
• 13:14
  So then I shifted it, so now the first thing I do in the morning, I turn my alarm off,
• 13:18
  I open my Bible app and I read a little bit.
• 13:20
  It doesn't have to be a lot, but the very first thought in my head is that,
• 13:23
  and then thank you God, help it to start the day.
• 13:25
  And then it's like, okay, now I actually have to get up and do something.
• 13:27
  But we do that because it's not easy for me, but if I start shifting the focus early, that changes things.
• 13:35
  You're in your car, you're praying, don't close your eyes.
• 13:39
  But you talk to Him while you're praying, you think about things.
• 13:42
  When you're having your coffee, when you're walking to work, when you're doing things,
• 13:46
  keep Him involved in that, remembering that He's always with you.
• 13:50
  You're going to hear a lot from one certain chapter from me, particularly this morning,
• 13:53
  but Psalm 139 is my go-to.
• 13:55
  That is like my favorite chapter in the Bible.
• 13:58
  But it starts off, David writes,
• 14:00
  Lord, you have searched me and known me.
• 14:02
  You know my sitting down and my rising up.
• 14:05
  You have understood my thoughts afar off.
• 14:07
  He knows everything you're doing anyway.
• 14:09
  He's already right there with you every time you get up and walk out of your house,
• 14:13
  every time you're sitting down resting.
• 14:15
  It just includes Him, because He's already there and He's wanting that relationship with you.
• 14:20
  Treat it as you would anything else.
• 14:23
  Make it a priority.
• 14:24
  Put it on your calendar if you have to.
• 14:26
  Put it on your reminder thing.
• 14:27
  It's like, okay, I've got some time on this day, I've got some time here on this day.
• 14:30
  Make it work into your schedule.
• 14:32
  And whatever that looks like to you.
• 14:34
  If it is to sit down and you actually have a few minutes to study, great.
• 14:37
  If it's five minutes, if it's an hour, what works for you?
• 14:41
  There's no right or wrong way.
• 14:43
  Sometimes in your life it's going to look different.
• 14:45
  When my kids were little, I did not have time to sit down and do consistent study for a big length of time.
• 14:50
  It was in between naps or in between this and that and wiping faces and, okay.
• 14:54
  Well, then I felt like David.
• 14:56
  We read through Scripture, what did he do?
• 14:58
  He meditated, he sang, he did whatever when he was out in the fields with the sheep.
• 15:01
  He didn't have time to sit and always be in the Word of God, but he kept it in here.
• 15:06
  And so we're looking for those moments to stay consistent, to stay growing.
• 15:11
  And something else I will add is it's so easy in this world to think we have to be busy.
• 15:21
  And when we stop and we sit and we have a few minutes to rest, I would say I'm probably not alone in this.
• 15:27
  There's probably others in here who feel the same way.
• 15:29
  We feel guilty.
• 15:31
  I should be doing something.
• 15:33
  I should be up taking care of this, taking care of that.
• 15:36
  But that's not what God wants either.
• 15:38
  I think there's a particular reason why when he gave the Ten Commandments, he commanded a day of rest.
• 15:43
  Because he knew how it would be.
• 15:45
  We were going to keep going and keep going.
• 15:47
  We're going to always have something because there's always going to be somebody needing something from us as women.
• 15:52
  There's a lot of pressure that falls there.
• 15:54
  Jesus knew that.
• 15:56
  Jesus had three years to do his ministry.
• 15:59
  And yet we see consistently he took time to separate himself to pray and to be with the Father.
• 16:04
  He had people, crowds of people surrounding him.
• 16:07
  In Mark, I think it's Mark 6, they're just getting ready to feed the 5,000.
• 16:12
  Literally, there's 5,000 plus people sitting there.
• 16:15
  And the apostles have just got back and they're telling him, we just got back from our studies, you know, our travels.
• 16:20
  This is what we've done.
• 16:21
  And it says they were so busy they didn't even have time to eat.
• 16:26
  And what did Jesus tell them?
• 16:27
  He didn't say, well, sorry, we've got to go.
• 16:29
  We've got these new people right here.
• 16:30
  He said, no, come away with me, rest.
• 16:34
  So as much as it's a challenge sometimes to find those moments, don't feel guilty about them.
• 16:42
  Take advantage of them because the more you can do that and you can rest in God, that consistency is going to build.
• 16:51
  Can you pass that back down to me?
• 16:53
  Also, I forgot to set the timer.
• 16:55
  Rachel, will you let me know when it's 10?
• 16:57
  It's like a five-minute window.
• 17:00
  Okay, those were excellent.
• 17:02
  And the question they were given was how do you stay spiritually consistent in busy or overwhelming seasons of life?
• 17:07
  And I was thinking the question is, is there ever a time that's not busy or overwhelming?
• 17:12
  But they all kind of gave the same idea of habit stacking.
• 17:15
  Have you all heard of that?
• 17:16
  Where it's something that you're going to naturally do every day anyway.
• 17:19
  Like you get up and unload the dishwasher first thing in the morning.
• 17:22
  Tack on some spiritual growth into that thing that you do every day anyway.
• 17:27
  You know, if you unload the dishwasher first thing every day, listen to your Bible at the same time.
• 17:31
  It sounds like it's this whole make it part of life, whatever that life looks like.
• 17:36
  We appreciate your answers, your hearts.
• 17:39
  The second question, we're going to start with Brittany on this one.
• 17:43
  Brittany, how can women guard their hearts against comparison, resentment, or unrealistic expectations?
• 17:58
  Well, first I will say I was content thinking that we were going to go Emily, Brittany.
• 18:04
  But it's fine, it's fine.
• 18:07
  So I do have a favorite quote, and my favorite quote is comparison is the thief of joy.
• 18:12
  And I saw that quote on Pinterest I don't know how many years ago.
• 18:17
  And it has stuck with me ever since.
• 18:19
  And yeah, it is just one of my favorite verses of all time.
• 18:23
  Because I think the world that we live in, especially for women, we get compared so often.
• 18:31
  And we want to be the individuals, even some of us who may have like just might be overly confident in who we are as individuals.
• 18:40
  That stuff plays on us.
• 18:42
  Like if we're always being compared to the next woman, thinking like we're not good enough.
• 18:47
  Or you know, they do this better than I do.
• 18:49
  Or you know, you meet two women, especially in today, like with influencing and everything.
• 18:54
  And a lot of people will say, oh well they do this and I do it too, but they probably do it.
• 19:00
  We just get compared so much.
• 19:02
  And I think the best way for us to guard against that is learning how to be content.
• 19:08
  And I know that sounds very simple, and that's because it is.
• 19:14
  And that's just the truth of the matter.
• 19:16
  Philippians 4, 10 through 12 says, I rejoice in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me.
• 19:23
  You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity.
• 19:27
  Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.
• 19:33
  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.
• 19:36
  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty in hunger, abundance, and need.
• 19:42
  And so I think if there is something that God truly wants us to have, he will make a way for us to have it.
• 19:49
  If we're not supposed to have it, then it's just not for us.
• 19:53
  And one of the things that I think we all have to learn is we don't need to live in the past.
• 19:58
  We don't need to look at, like, okay, well, when I was younger, you know, I used to do this, and I used to do that.
• 20:04
  And everybody came to me for this, and they came to me for that.
• 20:07
  And then, you know, you're looking to the future, and you're thinking, oh, well, when I hit this age, and, you know, when I get this straight in my life, I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do that.
• 20:15
  And it's just like, what are you doing now?
• 20:18
  How are you being content now?
• 20:20
  Like, we live in the here and now.
• 20:22
  We live in the past.
• 20:23
  We will be in the future at some point, but we don't know what the future is.
• 20:27
  So how do I learn how to be content now?
• 20:30
  And that is just what God has done for me is for me, and the things that he has allowed me the capabilities of having and being able to do, that's what I need to focus on.
• 20:43
  So I'm not a baker, but I like Betty Crocker, and I'll let her do all the stuff for me, and I will add in the eggs and the milk.
• 20:52
  But there very well may be somebody in here that is a great baker, and I think that's wonderful.
• 20:57
  And I think, hey, if you can bake from scratch, then you absolutely should.
• 21:01
  And if that benefits the church in any way, I would never stop you from doing that.
• 21:05
  But you can bring your homemade brownies, and I'm going to bring Betty Crocker, and I'm going to be content with that.
• 21:11
  Like, did I contribute?
• 21:13
  Did I do something?
• 21:14
  Am I content with what I did?
• 21:16
  And is this a talent that God has given me?
• 21:19
  Yes, because this might sound funny, but it's very true.
• 21:22
  There are some people in the world that they can't turn on the stove.
• 21:25
  Some people don't even have a stove to turn on.
• 21:28
  And so the fact that I'm living in a place in my life where God has allowed me to be able to have the funds to just go pick up Betty Crocker, the vegetable oil, and the eggs,
• 21:38
  or now that I live in Kentucky, I could probably just knock on somebody's door and ask for eggs.
• 21:44
  Like, that's not, that wasn't a thing in Florida.
• 21:48
  Like, and I don't need to knock on my next-door neighbor's door for eggs in Florida, because they're going to look at me like I'm nuts.
• 21:55
  But here in Kentucky, I could do that.
• 21:57
  Like, just being here, like, we don't need to be, we don't need to compare ourselves.
• 22:02
  We are all on the same team.
• 22:04
  We are all striving for the same goals.
• 22:06
  And if you do something better than I do it, I should absolutely champion you on that.
• 22:12
  But I don't need to champion you on and then say to myself, well, because they do it better, I'm not going to do it at all.
• 22:18
  No, that's the wrong attitude and the wrong mindset.
• 22:21
  You might recognize that people do things better than you.
• 22:23
  That doesn't mean that you should stop what you're doing just because you think, well, they've got it all under control and they can handle it.
• 22:30
  Because being content is about wanting to rejoice with my sisters, and it's about wanting to show gratitude for what they can do.
• 22:41
  And also show gratitude to God and what he's done for us.
• 22:44
  So I want to be happy for you.
• 22:47
  You know, Romans 12, 15, rejoice with those who rejoice.
• 22:50
  You know, and I'm putting my, putting someone else's interest and success before mine, Philippians 2, 3 through 5.
• 22:57
  And the last thing is, you know, I need to learn that I do have limits.
• 23:00
  And I need to avoid thinking that I can be everything everybody else is or be where everybody else is or know what they know or have what they have.
• 23:09
  You know, only God is capable of that.
• 23:12
  I need to learn how to be content in my own skin.
• 23:14
  I need to learn that God has given me specific talents and that I can use my talents to glorify and honor him.
• 23:22
  And even if somebody shares a talent that I do, they're not going to do their talent the same way that Brittany Kemp does.
• 23:28
  Emily Pollard's going to do her talent one way.
• 23:30
  Brittany Kemp is going to do her talent another way.
• 23:32
  But the bottom line is, is we're serving God and we can be content in who we are knowing that we potentially share a talent.
• 23:39
  But at the end of the day, we're on the same team.
• 23:41
  There is no, there is no me versus you.
• 23:45
  It's us versus the world and recognizing that we're all Christians and we're on the same team for God.
• 23:51
  And so when we recognize that, comparison should not even be in us.
• 23:56
  We can all be content exactly where we are.
• 24:03
  Yes, comparison is a very dangerous weapon that hits so many of us.
• 24:08
  But it's something that God never wanted.
• 24:12
  We do not be looking around and comparing here.
• 24:14
  He always wants us to look up, look to Jesus, work for him.
• 24:18
  And it starts with, and she went to Philippians 4, and that's funny because I had just turned my Bible.
• 24:22
  But a couple of verses earlier, Philippians 4, 8 and 9 is, what are we thinking on?
• 24:27
  Are we spending our time thinking about what somebody else might or might not be doing?
• 24:31
  Or are we spending our time when he says, you know, things that are true, things that are noble, things that are praiseworthy.
• 24:36
  It says meditate on these things.
• 24:38
  Well, that leaves a little, very little time to compare.
• 24:41
  But we're also, comparison is so not fair.
• 24:45
  Because we are down judging our behind the scenes, every damn dirty, you know, pile of laundry, dirty dishes, sink, whatever it is,
• 24:52
  to everybody else's, you know, edited version, what they wanted us to see.
• 24:57
  I get so tickled and I saw this one time.
• 24:59
  It was pointing out, you know, all these nice family pictures we see on Facebook.
• 25:02
  I love especially the beach pictures.
• 25:05
  You know, everything's just beautiful.
• 25:07
  The sunset, everybody in their matching outfits.
• 25:09
  But what you don't see is the 10 minutes beforehand.
• 25:12
  No, put the fan down. No, don't kick your brother. No, don't do this. No, put your phone back in.
• 25:15
  You don't see that part because that's not the part we want the world to see.
• 25:18
  But we all have that side.
• 25:20
  But that's where comparison hurts us so bad because we don't want people to see that,
• 25:24
  but that's how we judge ourselves because we know that.
• 25:27
  That's not what God wants of us.
• 25:29
  So, first of all, I would say we have to stop listening to those things
• 25:33
  and we have to recenter our minds.
• 25:35
  We have to recenter our things on God.
• 25:37
  And that comes with anchoring ourselves to what God says of us about our identity
• 25:42
  and not what the world does because the world does put pressure for us to be a certain way,
• 25:47
  act a certain way, and it's very unrealistic.
• 25:50
  You know, if you're a stay-at-home mom, great, but you should be working.
• 25:53
  You should be helping the family.
• 25:54
  Okay, well, now I'm working.
• 25:55
  Well, you should be spending more time with your kids.
• 25:57
  I can't do both.
• 25:59
  Or that's the way we're made to feel, right?
• 26:01
  That whatever we offer feels not good enough.
• 26:04
  And the world is going to do that because the world wants us to fail.
• 26:08
  God does it.
• 26:09
  We have to be so careful with that.
• 26:12
  We have to ask ourselves, is the expectation and the comparison we're holding onto,
• 26:17
  is it from God or is it from ourselves and the expectation we've placed?
• 26:22
  Is it from our culture?
• 26:24
  Is it something that I need to reevaluate?
• 26:27
  Is it something I really need to look at and say?
• 26:29
  Go back to that Philippians 4.8.
• 26:31
  Is it true?
• 26:32
  Is it something realistic?
• 26:34
  It means we need to guard our hearts against those things,
• 26:38
  against those expectations that are not from God
• 26:42
  because His expectations are to love God with our heart, soul, mind, and strength
• 26:47
  and to love our neighbor as ourselves.
• 26:49
  It's not to keep up with this trend or that, whatever.
• 26:52
  It's to be there with God for himself, for others.
• 26:56
  Look out for some warning signs when you start to notice this.
• 27:01
  Signs of feeling behind, like, oh, I'm just not, I'm not able to keep up.
• 27:06
  That could be a sign that you're putting too much pressure.
• 27:09
  Reevaluate, acknowledge, are the things that I'm placing in my life,
• 27:13
  while they might all be good, they might not all be necessary.
• 27:17
  Think Mary and Martha.
• 27:18
  We all, ladies, I mean, that's a constant thing we hear about Mary and Martha, right?
• 27:21
  Martha was doing good things.
• 27:24
  It wasn't the best thing.
• 27:26
  Reevaluate your schedule sometimes.
• 27:28
  Are the things that you're doing, is it because you want to?
• 27:31
  You want to invest?
• 27:32
  You want this as part of you?
• 27:34
  Or is it because you feel like you have to,
• 27:36
  that there's pressure from somebody else to keep up a certain image?
• 27:40
  Pay attention to, if you notice you're still feeling more irritated.
• 27:44
  You know, that can be a sign that you're trying to live up to something
• 27:48
  that's not meant for you,
• 27:50
  or it's too much for you to carry at this season in your life.
• 27:53
  Some of the things that we want, they may be great things,
• 27:55
  but they may be something for a little bit later or another time in our life,
• 27:59
  if we have more things going on.
• 28:02
  Watch out for the feeling of being invisible or overlooked,
• 28:07
  because sometimes that can be a sign that we are placing too much emphasis
• 28:11
  on that expectation, on that pressure, and it can be a little resentful,
• 28:17
  and we definitely don't want to see that.
• 28:19
  And then the last thing I would say is hitting exactly on what Brittany said,
• 28:23
  is gratitude.
• 28:25
  When we start to stop comparing and we start reflecting on what we have from God,
• 28:31
  the blessings that we have, it's just innumerable.
• 28:34
  The things that we could fit in just item after item,
• 28:38
  when we look at it from that point of view, what do we have to compare with?
• 28:42
  God has already done so much.
• 28:45
  Amen.
• 28:51
  This is going to sound a little counterintuitive,
• 28:54
  because one of my solutions for the bad habit of unhealthy comparison
• 28:59
  is actually replacing it with healthy comparison.
• 29:03
  There is a place for it.
• 29:05
  And I think, like you said, if we stop and we think,
• 29:08
  okay, is this from me or is this from God?
• 29:10
  And I compare myself in a physical, worldly, fleshly way.
• 29:14
  You know, somebody's gift, somebody's appearance, somebody's circumstances, whatever.
• 29:19
  Those things aren't from us. That's not from God.
• 29:22
  But Paul was able to say, imitate me as I imitate Christ.
• 29:27
  We see in Titus 2, you know, we're supposed to seek those older women
• 29:31
  that are going to guide us.
• 29:33
  We can compare ourselves too.
• 29:35
  We can see people that we want to be like.
• 29:38
  That's a healthy form of comparison.
• 29:40
  That leads to confidence, to encouragement, to growth.
• 29:45
  Unhealthy comparison is going to lead to false pride, you know.
• 29:49
  If we feel like we're better than somebody else
• 29:52
  or we start making assumptions about people, it's going to discourage us.
• 29:56
  It's going to keep us from being active.
• 29:59
  But there are places for healthy comparison.
• 30:01
  And if we replace that, we can see that we're using it in a way that's going to help us.
• 30:06
  It's going to strengthen relationships between sisters instead of tear them apart.
• 30:10
  So, you know, it does have a place.
• 30:13
  But just like everything else, we have to use it in the right way.
• 30:16
  We have to use it in God's way.
• 30:19
  And then the resentment part, you know, I just think we should be so honest with each other.
• 30:25
  There's so much in the New Testament about communication and being open with each other,
• 30:29
  even when we disagree.
• 30:31
  In Colossians, I always think about how he says, you know,
• 30:34
  if you have a problem with somebody, it doesn't say listening to their side of things and trying to understand.
• 30:39
  It just says forgive.
• 30:41
  That's all it says.
• 30:42
  Like, it says if somebody has a complaint against another, forgive.
• 30:46
  That's it, you know.
• 30:47
  So if we don't, if it's not something that's actually worth having a conversation with that person about,
• 30:53
  then it's really not worth our mental bandwidth.
• 30:56
  You can get rid of it.
• 30:58
  But if it's not valuable enough to work through, it's not worth the space in your mind.
• 31:04
  Okay.
• 31:06
  Beautiful and so practical.
• 31:08
  Thank you.
• 31:09
  All right.
• 31:10
  We're out of time.
• 31:11
  We're out of time.
• 31:12
  We're going to look at one more question, probably.
• 31:16
  So we're going to skip ahead and look at how do you trust God when life doesn't go as planned.
• 31:22
  And we'll start with Tiffany on this one.
• 31:33
  Okay.
• 31:34
  So, yes, that is most of our life, I could say.
• 31:37
  Things didn't go as planned.
• 31:38
  I'm a planner.
• 31:39
  I want to have the details, the list, and I have to be able to, oh, we've got to go to plan B.
• 31:44
  I even joke, I was very adamant when I was younger that I would never marry a preacher.
• 31:50
  Whatever it is, I was not a preacher when we got married.
• 31:52
  So there you go.
• 31:53
  But God has plans for us that we don't know, and sometimes circumstances in this world,
• 31:58
  scenes of others, just circumstances in general, can completely throw our plans off track.
• 32:05
  So we have to be able to focus on what we know.
• 32:10
  God is consistent.
• 32:12
  If I'm looking to him, if he is my guiding light, then things may get off track here or there,
• 32:17
  but if I'm trying to put one foot in front of the other, I'm going to get somewhere,
• 32:21
  even if it's completely different from what I expected.
• 32:25
  And I think of Joseph's story.
• 32:29
  He knew so early on with that first vision, you know, people were going to bow down to him.
• 32:34
  He never expected the journey that God put him through, being a slave, being a prisoner.
• 32:39
  Like, who of us would have ever imagined that this is what he wanted for me, to struggle, to suffer, to hurt?
• 32:46
  But we do.
• 32:47
  But that's where we have to say, okay, God sees bigger.
• 32:50
  I see here.
• 32:51
  God knows my past.
• 32:53
  He knows what I'm here now, but he is already in the future.
• 32:55
  He already knows what's awaiting me.
• 32:57
  I have to trust that, okay, I'm going to try, even walking blindly some days when I don't know what to do,
• 33:03
  and figure it out.
• 33:05
  Something that personally gets me through when I think about how life doesn't go as planned
• 33:09
  is remembering the moments in my life, reflecting backwards all the times God showed up.
• 33:15
  When I was sitting there in tears wondering, how am I going to survive this?
• 33:18
  How am I going to do this?
• 33:20
  How am I going to make this work for me and my family?
• 33:23
  And God says, well, I was right there, remember?
• 33:25
  I brought this person, this resource, this friend when you really needed somebody to come up and give you a hug.
• 33:31
  There was those moments where God just kind of winked and said, yeah, I'm still here.
• 33:35
  Remember me.
• 33:38
  In Psalm 139, toward the end of the chapter, or no, starting in verse 7,
• 33:44
  David wrote, where can I go from your spirit?
• 33:47
  Or where can I flee from your presence?
• 33:49
  If I ascend into heaven, you're there.
• 33:51
  If I make my bed in hell, behold, you are there.
• 33:54
  If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
• 33:58
  even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.
• 34:03
  Even in the darkest, deepest moments of our lives, when everything is falling apart
• 34:08
  and nothing is going according to plan,
• 34:11
  that's what David wrote.
• 34:12
  He said, your hand is still holding on to me.
• 34:14
  I don't know where the path is going, but I can trust who is right there with me along the journey.
• 34:19
  And I know that no matter what happens, and even if it's not the outcome that I originally envisioned,
• 34:25
  it's going to be something that's going to help me walk closer to God
• 34:28
  and get the eternal reward that I want.
• 34:33
  Okay, yeah, so like Tiffany, life did not go as I had planned.
• 34:40
  And I'll just share a little bit with you, because I don't want to take up a ton of time,
• 34:43
  but one of the things is, first of all, I didn't grow up in the church.
• 34:48
  Me or Hiram did.
• 34:49
  And so we got baptized, and then eventually Hiram started saying he wants to go to a preaching school.
• 34:56
  Cool, no big deal.
• 34:57
  And then brother comes home one day and says, I think I want to be a preacher.
• 35:00
  Excuse me?
• 35:03
  You want to be a what?
• 35:06
  That means I'm going to be in somebody's preacher's life?
• 35:09
  I was like, that's not what I had planned at all.
• 35:14
  So there was that, and he becomes a preacher.
• 35:16
  And I'm thinking, well, this isn't so bad.
• 35:19
  People love me for me, and it's just like I don't have to change who I am or anything like that,
• 35:25
  and I appreciate that.
• 35:26
  And then, you know, we buy our first house in Florida, and then some wonderful people come.
• 35:35
  And they convince us to move to Kentucky.
• 35:38
  And she's selling me on cows and fireflies.
• 35:45
  And I'm sitting there listening to the conversation, and in my head the entire time I'm thinking,
• 35:49
  Kathy, this is a great conversation, but I ain't going nowhere.
• 35:53
  But meanwhile, Brother Dan over here is contemplating all different types of things.
• 35:57
  And we leave the dinner, and he was just like, Brittany, I think we should really consider going to Kentucky.
• 36:03
  Excuse me?
• 36:06
  Like, don't you got a funny sense of humor?
• 36:09
  What is happening here?
• 36:11
  And then, May of 2021, Harry surprised me with a birthday trip to New York.
• 36:17
  It's my first time going to New York.
• 36:18
  I'm over the moon.
• 36:20
  And it was a great trip.
• 36:21
  It really was.
• 36:23
  But on the way to the airport, I cried.
• 36:27
  And I cried because I knew at that moment we were going to Kentucky.
• 36:31
  And it wasn't...
• 36:37
  Y'all took that wrong.
• 36:40
  I cried because I was born and raised in Florida.
• 36:44
  All my family is in Florida.
• 36:46
  And so, I mean, like, moving to Lakeland, just moving two and a half, three hours away from my mom, that was a big deal for me.
• 36:53
  But then you told me I'm moving 12 hours away from my mommy.
• 36:56
  And my sister, what am I supposed to do?
• 36:59
  What am I going to do?
• 37:00
  And we had never been to Kentucky.
• 37:02
  We had never seen it.
• 37:04
  And then one of our beautiful elders, we stayed with him.
• 37:09
  And we were out there by Big Reedy, and I was...
• 37:11
  And then I was like, Hiram, what did you do?
• 37:16
  What have you signed us up for?
• 37:18
  They had a beautiful house, but they had all this land.
• 37:21
  And I was like, where are the streetlights?
• 37:23
  And where are the neighbors?
• 37:25
  And, you know, where are the sirens?
• 37:28
  Where's the noise?
• 37:30
  That's what I was used to.
• 37:32
  And so, nothing that I initially thought I wanted my life to look like went as planned.
• 37:38
  And I don't know what's happened to me as I've gotten older.
• 37:41
  I've become a water baby.
• 37:42
  But she was over here talking.
• 37:43
  And I did get teary-eyed because moving from Florida, for me,
• 37:47
  was one of the hardest things that I had ever done in my life.
• 37:50
  I've never been this far away from my mom and my sister.
• 37:53
  And growing up, it's always been the three of us, and we have the best relationship ever.
• 37:59
  But moving to Kentucky has been a great blessing for me.
• 38:02
  It has showed me I have seen God work more in my life living in Kentucky
• 38:08
  than I think I have ever paid attention to.
• 38:11
  I know that he has always worked in my life,
• 38:13
  but I don't think I ever really paid attention to it
• 38:16
  because I lived in a place where I was just content.
• 38:20
  And moving to Kentucky caused me to step outside of my comfort zone
• 38:24
  and to just be in a different place mentally and physically that I had never,
• 38:29
  and spiritually, that I had never been in before.
• 38:32
  So just remembering that nobody's life goes exactly like they planned it
• 38:37
  because we're not the ones making the plans.
• 38:41
  And it's also, you know, it doesn't have to go like we think it's going to go.
• 38:50
  And it's not always going to go the way that we think it's going to go,
• 38:53
  but God is in control of everything.
• 38:55
  And I think to remind us of that, we can look at people like Esther, Joseph, Ruth, and Job.
• 39:01
  I'm not comparing my life to them at all.
• 39:03
  Y'all already got me one.
• 39:04
  So I'm not saying I'm in the same boat as they are,
• 39:07
  but I am just saying those are good people in the Bible to study
• 39:09
  to realize that, like, their lives did not go as planned at all.
• 39:12
  I mean, we all know the story of Job.
• 39:16
  But that doesn't mean that, you know,
• 39:20
  because our plans don't go the way that we want them to,
• 39:22
  that doesn't mean that our plans are ruined.
• 39:24
  That doesn't mean that life is ruined for us.
• 39:26
  There's just another blessing coming our way,
• 39:28
  and it could be later on down the line that you realize that blessing
• 39:32
  before you recognize it.
• 39:34
  And lastly, I'll just say this.
• 39:37
  Proverbs 3, 5 through 6, which reads,
• 39:39
  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding,
• 39:43
  and only always acknowledge him, and he will make straight your path.
• 39:46
  I think that's a good first for times like that
• 39:49
  when we're unsure of how things in our life are going to go.
• 39:52
  God is more than we think.
• 39:55
  He's capable of anything and everything,
• 39:58
  and he will direct our paths exactly as he wants them to go
• 40:01
  because when we follow him,
• 40:03
  everything that we do should be in accordance with his will,
• 40:06
  and his will never looks like ours.
• 40:08
  So just remembering that, remember that we're in control of very, very little,
• 40:12
  and he's in control of everything.
• 40:15
  But when our lives don't look how we want them,
• 40:19
  I have just been reminded,
• 40:22
  even though my life doesn't look the way that I had planned,
• 40:25
  there's still a blessing in this life for me,
• 40:27
  and I have truly been blessed to be here in Bowling Green.
• 40:30
  And I'm somewhat of a city country-ish girl now.
• 40:35
  There's that.
• 40:38
  And I'm planting flowers, and I still don't want no chickens or cows,
• 40:41
  but yeah, it's been good.
• 40:45
  Well, we're glad they're here.
• 40:49
  Our time is up, so we're going to have to quit.
• 40:52
  I think we should just all stay in here for the rest of the workshop
• 40:56
  Thank you so much.
• 40:58
  You can tell that their heart is all about loving God and serving his people,
• 41:02
  and we thank God for each of you.
• 41:04
  Thank you for being here, and enjoy the rest of your afternoon.