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Turning Challenges into Opportunities with Martin Salama · The One Small Change Podcast

• 0:00
  Welcome to the One Small Change, and I'm thrilled that you're
• 0:04
  here with me, and we're gonna embark on a journey of exploration and
• 0:08
  transformation. I'm your host, Yvonne McCoy, and I bring almost thirty
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  years of entrepreneurial experience. And I have a passion
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  for discovering how you can grow through the power of seemingly small
• 0:18
  change. And I wanna make sure that, you know, you know the
• 0:22
  things that are going on in this journey and that you can have the
• 0:26
  inspiration to keep exploring as well. This week, we are talking
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  with the amazing Martin Salama. Martin,
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  hi. How are you? I'm great, Yvonne. I'm excited to be here with
• 0:38
  you. Thank you for having me on your show. I am so
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  excited. And one of the things you're gonna share is how a smaller
• 0:45
  unexpected change or decision sparked a remarkable
• 0:49
  transformation in the growth in the profession and what you do now.
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  So tell us more about your small change, which typically in
• 0:56
  retrospect never seems small, and, what the
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  impact it had on you. Oh my god. I could pick so many,
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  but I won't go back to my childhood one. I I
• 1:08
  do have one from my childhood, but I'll go to one that happened basically
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  to everybody in to most everybody in 02/2008.
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  K? So it wasn't small at the time either, but, you
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  know, this is one that shaped who I am today, I would
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  say. The events of what happened, though, during that time shaped
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  me today. So in the February, my wife and I were
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  working on a project for five years to build a multimillion
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  dollar health club and tennis center in New Jersey by the Jersey
• 1:39
  Shore. And it took us five years because, you know, you gotta go through all
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  of the things you could think of. Find the land, do a feasibility study,
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  architecture, engineers, then go to the city to get the approvals.
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  And that was the longest part of all, getting the approvals. And during
• 1:54
  this time, we'd go to the bank and they're like, we love this project. We
• 1:57
  can't wait for it to start. You know, we'll we'll fund it when it's
• 2:00
  time. Fantastic. So in the fun of
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  February, we finally get all the approvals.
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  Go to the bank, and they're like, yeah. We're not lending right now. I'm like,
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  what happened to we'll fund it whenever it's ready? You know, the last few years,
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  two thousand five, six, seven, they were giving money away.
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  Almost like when, you know, when you go to Costco and the women on the
• 2:20
  end of the condo are handing you samples Yeah. They were they were handing you
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  samples. I refined my house a bunch of times during this
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  time to fund the project. So they're like, yeah. Things are
• 2:31
  changing. I'm like, I don't care. You told me that
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  it'd be. A month later, Bernie Madoff, the
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  subprime loans, the financial world falls apart.
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  And just like that, I'm broke. And I
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  the 3 and a half plus million that I put in, that I borrowed, that
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  I my investors is gone.
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  And, I went into a depression for about a year.
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  And during that time Only a year? Only a year. Believe it or
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  not. Maybe a little more than a year. But, you know, during that time, I
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  stopped paying my mortgage. I stopped paying I had no money. I stopped
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  paying my car payments. About a few months later, my son says, dad, look
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  outside. They were towing away my BMW.
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  That's how broke I was, and I never had that happen to me before. I
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  never had a car repossessed. The house eventually
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  got foreclosed on. But because I lived in New
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  Jersey and there were so many foreclosures, it literally
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  took them years till they remembered about us.
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  Right? So here we are. It's about a year or so later, and I'm
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  saying, okay. I gotta figure out what I'm doing now. I gotta you know?
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  And I decided I didn't wanna be a businessman anymore. I've been that my whole
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  life, which they now call entrepreneurs. You know, back in my day, we were
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  businessmen. Now we're entrepreneurs. You know? High highfalutin
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  title. And I was like, okay. What do I wanna do? And I
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  looked around and I thought about my life, and what I love doing best was
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  helping community organizations as a leader. And people would come in and say, but, Martin,
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  I can't do what you're doing. Said, but but, Yvonne, I don't need you to
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  do what I'm doing. I want you to do what you're good at. And
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  I realized I was coaching these people to their potential. So
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  I looked at the coaching, and I decided to become a life coach. And
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  a little small thing happened along the way. About two months before it was time
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  to start life coach training, it was my twenty fourth wedding
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  anniversary. And my wife gave me a very interesting gift that year.
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  She said I want a divorce.
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  I'm sorry. And I I I should've said something, but I didn't
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  get anything like that for you. You know? But I didn't. You know? I was
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  like, I was knocked. I I you know, to tell you the truth, I
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  probably knew it was coming, but until it actually happens,
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  nobody really believes that that's gonna happen. And I
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  I I I said to myself, why does everything keep happening to me? And I
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  but I made the decision I was still gonna go through with live coach training.
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  And I think that was the turning point for me, making that
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  decision to continue with that. Because as I started
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  getting to live coaching and they said to me, it doesn't matter who you
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  think you have to be. You could be whoever you want to be. That
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  opened the doors for me and gave me the ability to
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  search within myself and realize when I was saying things like, why
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  does everything keep happening to me? That was me looking to
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  blame everybody else. And now I say things happen through
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  me. Good or bad, they happen through me.
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  I it's funny because I had almost a similar
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  experience in the sense of I bought a book
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  that was written by Thomas Leonard about 22 strategies
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  that you know, life strategies that everybody should have. And I bought it
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  for I was teaching a community class. And so I bought it so I could
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  give my students these strategies. And as I read it, I was
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  like, oh my god. I need this. Oh my god. I need this. Oh my
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  god. I need this. And at the end, it said, if you wanna
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  learn how to coach, come to this free teleconference,
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  which is it was like, I need all this stuff. And, again, because you didn't
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  have to have the answers, you just had to ask the right questions,
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  which for me was a total turnaround.
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  I think, you know, one of the things that we very much have in common
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  from what you said is that it's really important
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  to be able to do so well, you can be yourself. There's so many
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  societal kinds of constructs around us all the way from
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  childhood all you know, with with the limiting beliefs and stuff like that.
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  And it's like I heard somebody say the other day, it
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  there are two kinds of people in the world. People who go, you know,
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  you know, what happened to me, and people who go, what can I make
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  happen? And I think that that is, you know, a
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  mindset shift that you need. And and we get them in the
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  weirdest places. One of the biggest places that I got a mindset
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  shift was Ted Lasso. I don't know if
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  if you've ever heard that seen that show. I have. I love it.
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  But there's also a podcast that goes with that called What Would Good Lasso
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  Do? And it's got a a a positive psychology coach and a
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  leadership coach. The the show is only thirty minutes. The
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  podcast is, like, ninety minutes. But
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  it's like you know, it has changed my life. I mean, just to say to
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  myself, don't be judgmental. Be curious.
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  Wow. Just just just that that simple a
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  thing. Right. Right. And for me, I look at it as, when
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  I'm doing my my workshops, okay, one of the things I say to the people
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  right at the beginning is I want you to ask yourself a question,
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  but be careful how you ask the question. I don't want you to ask,
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  does this apply to me? Change it just a little bit
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  and say, how does this apply to me? By
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  saying, does this apply to me, you're giving yourself a one word
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  answer, yes or no. How does it
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  apply to me is an open ended question that gives you the ability
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  then say, okay. Let's see where we're going from here. It's like saying I
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  can't. Instead, what you should be saying is how can
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  I? Right. Right. So so just, you know, something
• 8:20
  that you've never talked about on this on this podcast is is the
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  difference between closed questions and open ended questions,
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  and and the quality of the response that you get
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  when you have an open ended question. So can you talk a
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  little bit about that and how entrepreneurs can use that?
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  Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. So very often,
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  especially entrepreneurs, and I say that the the
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  difference between a good entrepreneur and a great entrepreneur or a
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  bad entrepreneur and a good and great entrepreneur is are you a
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  leader or are you a boss?
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  Right? The bosses are the ones that that ask the closed
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  ended questions. Did you do this?
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  Right? The the leader is someone says, how
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  did it go when you did this? How was
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  it? Right? Or even or even better before
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  it starts, you say, how would you do this? Right. Right. Sure. Absolutely.
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  How would you do this? Exactly. Or instead of saying, do
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  this, which is not even a question. Do this exactly as
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  I tell you, which is really micromanagement saying, if you don't do it exactly
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  as I'm telling you, then you're not doing it. Well, you know, my
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  thing is, I always say, entrepreneurs have the knack
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  of bringing in great quality, and then they micromanage them
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  into mediocrity. Right. Exactly. So that's the
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  difference. That's when you become either a leader or a boss.
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  And the leader is looking to be inclusive of everybody,
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  ask questions of everybody that that
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  that invoke deep thought responses,
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  not yes or no answers. That's the a closed question a closed end
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  question is yes or no. It's did you.
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  It's it's instead, the open ended questions are
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  how did this come? What how did you do this? Why what was
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  the reason for this so that they go so further? And then you go, and
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  how did you feel about that? And or what was the end result
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  of that? Things that invoke thoughtful
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  answers. My favorite question
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  is tell me more. Tell me more. That's a perfect one. Do you know?
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  Because that way, it doesn't it doesn't, you know, it doesn't color the
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  answer one way or the Right. And, you know, you can get
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  clarification, and then you can ask, like, specific questions, which
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  reminded me when we were talking about this. You know,
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  one of the first I mean, the fastest way to use this is in
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  your in your, marketing. If you say to
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  somebody, do you need this? Then their answer is yes or no.
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  Do you know? But if you say to them, how,
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  you know, how many times have you struggled with or how how many different ways
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  have you tried to get this done? Right. Then you then you get them thinking
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  about and saying, oh, you know, I've done this several times. Maybe I
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  need to find another way to do it. Right? So
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  before we before we run out of time, I wanna make sure that we have
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  plenty of time to talk about your free gift and and your, you know,
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  action steps that you've got for all of us. Mhmm. Okay. Cool. So
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  I I you you when we were talking beforehand, you said, you know, three
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  step three three points or something. And I and what made me think of is
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  something that's in my my what I started with was
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  a coaching program that was about helping people
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  shift their mindset from lack to abundance and all that stuff, which
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  is very important in whatever you're doing, and I've incorporated into
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  my new program. So recently, I came up with
• 11:57
  something specifically for entrepreneurs. It's called the three steps the
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  secrets three step framework for a sustainable
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  thriving business. Mhmm. Coaching business, it could be for
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  anything. And it comes from something
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  that's a mindset based that is in my book,
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  and I call it the cycle of a's. Okay?
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  And the cycle of a's takes something that is a little woo woo
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  in the world and makes it a little more practical, which is the
• 12:27
  law of attraction. Okay. Right? People go, oh, that's
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  all woo woo stuff. You think about it and it happens. And the people
• 12:34
  that don't really understand it, they go, oh, you know, I
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  did the law of attraction. It didn't work. Because they're thinking very
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  linearly linearly. They're thinking, okay. I think about it,
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  and it didn't happen. And that's where the cycle of a's comes in.
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  So for me, the cycle of a's are three letter a's
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  that, you know, the people that are here, they can go to my site,
• 12:56
  which we'll tell you about later, to download some some
• 13:00
  some things. Right? And one of them is the cycle of a's, and on it,
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  it shows it in a perpetual emotional cycle. The first
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  a is ask. Ask God. Ask the universe for what you
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  want. And that could be as simple as I just came up with an
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  idea. That's an ask.
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  Right? But if you just think about it and do nothing about it, and
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  then three years later, you see it on TV and go, oh my god. I
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  thought about doing that. Yeah. Right? How many
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  of us have been there? Been there. Right. So that's where
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  the the next a comes in. Act. Start
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  working towards getting that ask. Oh, I came up with an
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  idea. Well, what would it look like? How would it be
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  become about? What are the steps that need to happen? And
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  start putting it into motion. And then the last a is
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  really where the rubber meets the road. It's a good way to put it.
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  And it's have an attitude of I don't
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  care about the outcome emotionally.
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  Right? Because if you care so much about the outcome, that's
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  where that lack mentality comes in
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  and Mhmm. Goes everything out. So now this is in
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  my program for anybody for thinking about it in that
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  way, you know, in their life. So then I said, okay. Let me turn around
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  and and put it into, into into business terms.
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  So ask, clarify what you true truly desire for your
• 14:30
  business, set your intention, and get specifics on your
• 14:33
  goal, define your vision for your business, be specific about the revenue you
• 14:37
  want, the number of clients, and the kind of impact you wanna make.
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  And it goes a little further than that. Then the act is move from
• 14:44
  intention to implementation. This is where the magic happens.
• 14:48
  Remember that the universe isn't Santa Claus. You
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  know? You have to take actions. Then you implement it. Break
• 14:55
  out of your comfort zone and adjust as needed.
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  Right? And then the third one is attitude. Let go of the emotional
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  attachment to the outcomes and staying positive regardless of
• 15:07
  the results. Detach from the outcome after putting it in the
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  effort, it's important to let go of any attachments, cultivate
• 15:14
  it, positivity, and maintain
• 15:17
  that mindset of abundance, and then it goes a little further.
• 15:21
  But you get the overall gist of it. Well, I you
• 15:25
  know, the things that you're saying are so important. I mean, one of one of
• 15:29
  my kind of philosophies is, you know, that
• 15:32
  you you grow in leadership. Unfortunately, for entrepreneurs,
• 15:37
  they tend to go right into kind of leadership and management of a project or
• 15:41
  whatever their skills is, and they don't spend enough time in kind of the
• 15:44
  personal development space because you need that
• 15:48
  when you move from projects to managing and leading other
• 15:52
  people. Right. So it's kind of like they feel like they're going
• 15:55
  backwards. What you know, what what's you know, that kind of thing. But I
• 15:59
  think, you know, the way that I describe a lot of what
• 16:03
  you're saying, don't get attached to the, you know, the specific outcome,
• 16:07
  is I I say to people, you know, the one of the biggest thing mindset
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  that helped me is I used to think that success was kind of a
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  binary choice. You did something you either succeed seeded or you
• 16:18
  failed. And what I found when I looked at that was
• 16:22
  things that I thought I didn't know that I could succeed in, I didn't
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  do. Mhmm. Right. Now I now
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  I yeah. I mean, now you know, because I was I was brought up to
• 16:32
  be, you know, you need to be the best. You need to be at the
• 16:34
  top of the class. You need to be you know? And so when to be
• 16:37
  perfect. Yes. And so I find so many people
• 16:41
  are practicing to be perfect, you know, that they never get anything done.
• 16:45
  And I went through that stage myself. I don't I mean, you know, everything that
• 16:48
  I talk about, I've done. So, you know, now I know that
• 16:52
  it's you take an action, you either succeed or you
• 16:56
  fail. Either way, you need to evaluate, you know,
• 17:00
  why did I succeed? Why did I fail? Make adjustments and and do it
• 17:04
  again. So my new model is fail for
• 17:07
  fail forward faster. Right. I love it. Because if I'm
• 17:11
  failing forward faster, it means I'm doing something and I'm
• 17:15
  I'm making progress. And that's really what it what it's about. And I think
• 17:18
  the other thing is, you know, a typical place where people want
• 17:22
  instant results is, you know, they go networking thinking
• 17:26
  they're gonna get a client, and you don't. That's not the purpose of
• 17:29
  networking. If you go networking and you say I never got a
• 17:33
  client, it's because you that was not where you were gonna
• 17:36
  find a client. What you're gonna find is connection
• 17:40
  and community who's gonna attach you to places and people
• 17:44
  where your your clients might be. Referrals. Referral
• 17:48
  partners. Yeah. And so I find you know, one of the things that I get
• 17:51
  you know, I think is I
• 17:55
  feel like everybody I hope that everybody that I meet and
• 17:58
  talk with leaves better off than when they when they met me.
• 18:02
  Right. Right. Is that And so so, you know, my goal is
• 18:06
  not focused on me. My goal is how can I support
• 18:10
  you? Right? Yeah. And it takes all the
• 18:13
  pressure off, and it it you know, that kind of thing. So,
• 18:17
  you know, we've talked about a lot of stuff. Mhmm. The
• 18:21
  one thing I kinda wanted you to talk a little bit more about was let's
• 18:25
  talk about money and the scarcity mentality
• 18:28
  because that, you know, that and the idea that I'm not worth
• 18:32
  it or you know, because when you when you talk with a coaching client that's
• 18:35
  in business, they're always under pricing. Yes.
• 18:39
  Yes. Because they don't believe in themselves enough.
• 18:43
  Right? So that whole money thing comes from the mindset
• 18:47
  of I'm not worth it or the lack or I don't deserve
• 18:51
  it. Right? Or why should I have it?
• 18:55
  Right? Instead of why shouldn't I have it? Why can't I have it?
• 18:59
  Right? And and it's understanding that you're looking
• 19:03
  at things with the glass half full half empty,
• 19:07
  excuse me, instead of looking for it as being full, not even half
• 19:10
  full, full. And that there's more that can come.
• 19:14
  And I think that's a one of the differences between attracting the
• 19:18
  right client and trying to sell somebody. Yeah. You know, because
• 19:22
  you're like, you know, you need my service. You know? But if you are putting
• 19:26
  yourself out there so that the things that you're doing, people go, that's an
• 19:29
  interesting person. I think I'd like to talk to them more, and you're attracting them.
• 19:33
  Right? By the time they become clients, they already know what your
• 19:37
  value is. Mhmm. And I think, you know, I think one of the
• 19:40
  best things, that can happen to two good
• 19:44
  things. One of the best things that can happen to somebody is you're talking
• 19:48
  to somebody and before you finish, they go, I wanna work with you. How much
• 19:51
  you know, tell me what I need to do. Right. I mean, it's just
• 19:55
  an amazing kind of thing. Right? And then the other
• 19:59
  thing is I don't think that we, entrepreneurs,
• 20:03
  know that we can say no. Yeah. You know, this is not a good
• 20:06
  person to work with. You know? And and it could be for a variety of
• 20:09
  reasons. Not that they're not a good person, but, you know Not a good
• 20:13
  fit. It's not a good fit. Right. You're not you're not at the right point
• 20:16
  in your business. You you know, whatever the case may be. You know, you can't
• 20:20
  put food on your table so you don't need to buy a $25,000 program. You
• 20:24
  know? I mean, it could be a whole lot of different things. And I
• 20:27
  I think that we go through, and I jokingly call it
• 20:31
  entrepreneurial prostitution. It's where where you're trying to get
• 20:35
  cash flow and you and and your mindset is, I can do anything if
• 20:39
  the price is right, which which dilutes, you
• 20:42
  know, which dilutes what you really do well. And and
• 20:46
  it also it also you know, if you get a client that's not the right
• 20:50
  client, it will suck the life out of you, and they will never be
• 20:54
  happy. That's so true. You could you could have two or three
• 20:57
  clients that are ideal, you know, and put in less
• 21:01
  energy than you put into somebody who is that you are just
• 21:04
  like Banging your head against the wall. Yeah. Yeah. I, you know,
• 21:08
  I I jokingly said long time ago when I first started, for some reason, I
• 21:12
  attracted a lot of male tech
• 21:15
  guys. Okay. And I love them because they always paid in
• 21:19
  full. They always showed up on their you know, for their coaching on time. They
• 21:23
  you know? But every time I brought something
• 21:26
  up, it was like, oh, I read a book on that. I read a book
• 21:29
  on that. And I was like, but did you do it? I did not. It
• 21:32
  was like when the when it was over, it's like, thank god this is over.
• 21:36
  Do you know? So so I think that that I I think some of the
• 21:39
  things that we're talking about is, you know,
• 21:43
  is if you don't this is this
• 21:47
  is my 40 my $40 best advice I ever got
• 21:50
  from my therapist. She said, if you don't ask for what you
• 21:54
  want, you're going to be uncomfortable and you're going to be
• 21:58
  disappointed a lot. Right. If you ask for what you want,
• 22:02
  you will still be uncomfortable, but you will get it a lot more
• 22:06
  often. So well put. Well put. And for me,
• 22:09
  the the concept was that I didn't wanna be
• 22:13
  uncomfortable. And then I realized I was gonna be uncomfortable either way.
• 22:19
  Well put. Okay. So we there's gonna be a link in
• 22:22
  the, in the notes where you can get this great, great
• 22:26
  gift. Right. Also, Martin does a workshop every month,
• 22:30
  so you wanna, you know, you wanna go do that as well. Yeah.
• 22:34
  Okay, Martin. Yeah. When was the last time you did something new for the first
• 22:37
  time? When was the last time
• 22:41
  I did something new for the first time? Oh my
• 22:44
  goodness.
• 22:49
  Well, last week. Good.
• 22:53
  Last week, I I was on vacation. We went to San Antonio, Texas in
• 22:57
  the January, and it was cold there. And they actually
• 23:01
  had a snowstorm of a half an inch where I'm like, okay. So big deal.
• 23:06
  It's for them. And we went to
• 23:09
  the Alamo. Oh.
• 23:13
  Right? And for me, I love learning about stuff.
• 23:17
  And what I learned there was that right near the right near
• 23:20
  San Antonio was the first Six Flags of
• 23:24
  in America. So anybody doesn't know six flags is a is
• 23:28
  a theme park. In New Jersey, they call it great adventures, but six
• 23:32
  flags. And do you know why it's called six flags?
• 23:36
  No. K. And neither did I. Okay?
• 23:40
  And I learned because Texas has been ruled
• 23:44
  by six different countries. Okay.
• 23:47
  Alright? Spain, France,
• 23:52
  Mexico. Those are the three easy ones, and America are the four is
• 23:55
  the fourth easy one. The last two are gonna surprise you.
• 23:59
  Number five is Texas was a country from when the
• 24:03
  Alamo when they lost the Alamo, and a month later, they beat the Mexicans
• 24:08
  in 1836 for ten years, eighteen forty five, nine years, whatever.
• 24:12
  Then they Mexico was coming after them. They go, we don't wanna be with you.
• 24:15
  We'll become part of America. So in 1845, they
• 24:19
  became a state in the union. And then the
• 24:23
  last one was they seceded with the rest of the
• 24:26
  Confederate States, so they were under the Confederate States of
• 24:30
  America, which made for number six.
• 24:35
  So that's why they're always saying they're leaving.
• 24:40
  That's fantastic. That's fantastic. Okay, guys.
• 24:44
  Before we run out of time, I need to wind this up.
• 24:48
  And, you know, so if you haven't done it already, I need
• 24:52
  you to subscribe and share this, and to engage on
• 24:55
  social media. And and, you know, this is designed to help
• 24:59
  you supercharge your business through connection. This is my way of giving back to
• 25:03
  the community and introducing people to you and ideas that's
• 25:07
  gonna help to you to fuel your quest for growth and impact.
• 25:10
  And I hope you will join me on the one small change and on a
• 25:14
  regular basis. And if you haven't gone to the, the the
• 25:18
  first page, you'll see all the people that have been kind enough to give their
• 25:21
  time and energy, to this endeavor. And so,
• 25:24
  Martin, what are your what are your last words? What do you, you know, want
• 25:28
  people to take away? What I'd like for them to take away
• 25:31
  is consider putting into action the cycle
• 25:35
  of ACE. Ask, act, and attitude.
• 25:39
  And you could go to the you know, you'll be able to go to the
• 25:41
  show notes, click on the link, and find the link there. You know, it'll
• 25:45
  take you to download a little deeper of what we talked about about
• 25:49
  ask, act, and attitude in the cycle of ACE. That is so
• 25:52
  fantastic because in the age of information,
• 25:56
  it's not just information you need. You need to know how to apply it and
• 26:00
  implement it. Right. So, guys, our time is up. And as
• 26:03
  I always say, remember, change is simple, but it's not always easy. It
• 26:07
  requires resilience and courage and a willingness to step
• 26:10
  outside your comfort zone. And so I hope you will take a few minutes
• 26:14
  every week to join me for the one small change as we try
• 26:17
  to, you know, have a bold vision and do
• 26:21
  innovative possibilities. And until the next time, I will
• 26:25
  see you then. Thank you, Martin. Thank you, Yvonne. It's been a pleasure to
• 26:29
  be here.