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Cornell and Other R-rated Subjects · Mom Wars

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: From the front lines of the mom wars, here's Bethany
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Mandel and Cara Kennedy.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to another episode of your favorite podcast. Guys,
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: she's back. I think I got her back. Cara Kennedy, co-host, wonderful.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: So let's just like reintroduce ourselves because it's been a
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: hot minute. I'm Bethany Mandel. It's easy to tell our
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: voices apart. a mom of six and a contributing writer
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: at the Washington Examiner and another outlet to be announced.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, wait, no, I need to know.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you later.
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: Oh my God.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: And I have six children and we homeschool, but I'm
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: not tried. I promise. I'm joined by... Cara.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: Kennedy, contributing writer at the Free Press. And as of today...
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: non-solo parenting anymore. And I just did it for four
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: days and I nearly went crazy. So Bethany is solo
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: parenting all week this week with six kids and I
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: only have two. So I don't know how she does it.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: She shows me up.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: So last, one of the last times that I solo parented,
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: so Seth sometimes goes to New Jersey to help his
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: parents and he's doing that this week. And about a
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: year and a half ago, he did this for the
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: first time and I almost killed our dog. He got
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: a raisin box and dogs can't eat raisins or grapes.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: And so I had to bring him to get his
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: stomach pumped.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: Oh, no. Wait, I have a really sad story about this.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: So Nick, my husband, is very, very paranoid about dogs
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: having poisonous things because his dog had chocolate and died.
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: What?
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: I didn't know they actually would die. I thought it
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: was just a threat.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, it was specifically like cooking chocolate, like dark chocolate.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: And that is like super, super toxic. So Shelby, her
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: name was, ate a bag of cooking, like a big
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: bag of like cooking chocolates. And he was so angry
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: afterwards because he Googled it. And like the first thing
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: that came up on Google was like, oh, it's like
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: probably fine. Just monitor the dog for 24 hours and
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: it'll probably be fine. And then like 17 hours in,
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: she had a fit and died on the floor. Yeah,
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: and he has been like... I don't think he's gotten
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: over it even now. And it was like 10 years ago. So, yeah. So,
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: it's serious, guys. It's serious. Don't listen to Google. Yeah.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: So, I pumped poor Truman's stomach. It was the second
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: time we've pumped his stomach. What was the first time?
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: It was grapes. Grapes and then raisins.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Does he get ill? Do you, like, see him go?
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: No, we don't want to mess around. So, we pump
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: his stomach because... ill is like the kidneys shut down
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: and then they die there's there's no take backsies yeah
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: we start having the effects so we pumped his stomach
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: twice and now thank god like seth still trust me
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: alone with our children and the dog mostly just the dog.
• 3:04
  Speaker 5: I get worried because uh wait did i tell you
• 3:06
  Speaker 5: i have a puppy no i have a new puppy
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: yeah which is crazy because nick turned around to me
• 3:13
  Speaker 5: a couple weeks ago And was like, should we have
• 3:16
  Speaker 5: another baby?
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: And I was like, no. She's just in like seven
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: months old now. And then he came home with a puppy.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: I did that to Seth with guinea pigs.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's not a good standing.
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: For a child.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: No, terrible. You should just have a baby also.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just not yet. I can't do three under three.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: Did you ever do three under three?
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I think I technically, I think I did three, three
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: and under. I did.
• 3:42
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: I did three, two, baby.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sad that I can't say two under two anymore. Two,
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: two and under, I can say. But yeah.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I did three, three and under. And then I
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: did four, four and under. No, I did four, five
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: and under.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: I just basically didn't sleep.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: Five-year-olds to me now seem like teenagers.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: Adults, right?
• 4:05
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: It's really crazy.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, my five-year-old is delightful and very easy.
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I feel like they're very self-sufficient.
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah. All of the five-year-olds I know could live on
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: their own.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: They're fine.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So I wanted to talk some smack today. Why not, right?
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: Smack about children.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: Actually, their parents. It is homecoming season, and I am shocked. Again,
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: I'm shocked every year. by the dresses that people are
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: posting of their children. I'm shocked by so many components.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: I'm shocked that they are letting their daughters out of
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: the house wearing that because if I had walked down
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: the stairs wearing this like 1940s swimsuit, I would have
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: been told to turn around and go right back upstairs,
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: number one. But worse than the fact that they're wearing
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: the dresses is that the parents have purchased them. And worse,
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: worse than that is that the parents are taking pictures
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: and they're like, look at my daughter and posting it
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: on their social media. That is such an L as
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: a parent that you have absolutely no control of your
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: child to say like, that's not appropriate, especially when it's
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: your like private Christian school. I also, it's an L
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: for the Christian schools who don't have a dress code. Yeah. Yeah.
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: And so I have to say, everybody, I thought Bethany
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: was exaggerating. So I made her show me a couple
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: of photos beforehand. And she's not wrong. It's pretty bad.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: It's like, it's like fine to wear at the club. Wait,
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: how old are people who go to home come in?
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: 15, 16.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, it's too much.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So it's spaghetti strap, low cut, and completely form fitting.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: And then I don't like right up to the butt crack,
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: like right up to the ass cheeks. If you, I
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: don't know how you sit down personally in that dress.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: And I have said this every single year for 10 years.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: And every person said to me, Oh, well, Bethany, just
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: wait until you have a teenager and then we'll see.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: And those people are the worst because they pawn off
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: their inadequacies as the just a given they're just a
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: forsaken force force force gone conclusion and it's not and
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: now i have a 13 year old so now i
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: finally get to have an opinion and it is bad
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: parenting i have never had to say no to anything
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: my daughter wanted to purchase if anything i'm like maybe
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: can we buy a real swimsuit instead of a burka
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: you don't need an ankle length dress to the pool
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: kidding she wears an ankle length dress to the pool.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: Did you stress modestly no no I'm.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: Not pushing the burka on my daughter okay just for
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: the record it's really annoying actually to find the swimsuits
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: that she feels comfortable wearing but if I'm gonna pick
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: one it's that versus like The bikinis, like the string
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: bikinis that I see people.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: Bikinis are too much now. Nick says this all the time.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: Like whenever we go to a beach, he's like, there's
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: nothing left to not see, you know?
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: Especially when it's children. Like when a child does not
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: have a credit card of their own, I know that
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: mom and dad purchased the string bikini.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Although I will say toddlers in my crop tops
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: are so cute. Cause they have like the big fat belly. No,
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: it's so funny. I have one friend who dresses her
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: kid in crop tops and like the fat little belly.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: It's so cute.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: It's so cute. I, somebody posted, I tweeted this very, very,
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: what is the word I'm looking for? Judgmental, I guess,
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: take on Twitter earlier. And someone was like, yeah, my,
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: my friend, my neighbor posted a picture just like that.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: And this year, Two years later, her daughter is pregnant.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: Wow. Who would have thought it? Who could have seen
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: that coming? I was going to say, I feel like
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: you have to let kids be sneaky and let in
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: them dress like that without like... When I was in school,
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: I would have like a short dress on and then
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: I would put something on top of it to sneak
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: out of the house, you know? Me too.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: You had to sneak out of the house wearing that.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like you had to, but like it's taken away
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: their chance to sneak out, which is the funnest part.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: It is.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: But it also instills, I think, a healthy level of shame.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: That is what our society needs more of, is shame.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree with that.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: We should be a little embarrassed to walk out of
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: the house like that. And when mom and dad are
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: taking a picture and posting on their personal Instagram, there
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: is no shame. Yeah.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: Which brings us to.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Which brings us to. Guys, you know where we're going next. Cornell.
• 9:25
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: Have you written a piece about this? Because I got
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: asked to and I had so many different thoughts to
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: fit into a 600 word piece that I was like, no,
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: I can't. I can't actually do this.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: I did.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: I wrote a piece, I think a week ago, two
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: weeks ago for the New York Post. And basically the
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: headline was like, this is the end result of the
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: pornification of our culture. So I interviewed for this podcast, Dr.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: Leonard Sachs. That episode is upcoming. It keeps on getting
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: bumped for news. But guys, when that episode comes out,
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: I really, really urge you to listen to it because
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: he re-released a book of his called Boys Adrift. He
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: wrote it, I don't know, like 20 years ago. And
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: he released it this again, again this year, because there
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: was so much stuff about pornography and AI that he
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: felt like he needed to revamp the whole book. And
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I've said this on the podcast before, when I finished
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: that book, I got a monitoring service for all of
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: my kids' devices because I don't want their first exposure
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: to sexuality to be pornography. And the statistics that he
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: cited in the book were really, really shocking about how
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: young people think about sex now. And spoiler alert, it's
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: because of porn. The instances of choking are way up.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: He talks about how he goes on high school campus
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: tours and talks to high school boys about sex. And
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: he's like, boys, girls don't like when you ejaculate on
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: their face. And the boys are like, really? Yeah. Because
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: that's what they think girls like. And I think the
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: most shocking statistic that he cited in the piece was
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: that traditionally erectile dysfunction numbers were were in the like two,
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: 3% for ages like 18 to 25, they are up
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: to like 18, 19% now because, and they're prescribing guys
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: in their like upper teens, lower twenties, Viagra at those
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: numbers because they can only get stimulated by seeing violent porn.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: They can't, they're, they cannot get an erection from just
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: a normal sexual interaction anymore.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: That's really sad. It's one of those things that I
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: hear and I'm like, this can't be true. Things can't
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: be that bad. But the numbers just are what they are.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: Did you have this when you were in school?
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: Porn?
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: Like instances of like a viral video going around and
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: like everybody showing each other. Because I feel like we
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: did have this. And I feel like we may have
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: been like the first.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: Do you remember like really gross stuff like two girls,
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: one cup?
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: Oh my God. Yes.
• 12:13
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: Like that came out when like I was in high school.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: And I remember like.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: No, you weren't in high school. Cause I was in
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: high school.
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: Oh really?
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: Maybe it must've had like a Renaissance. And there were
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: a couple other examples of like the viral, just like gross, gross, gross.
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: But you had to, I feel like you had to
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: go looking for it. And so one of the other
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: shocking things that he said was that it chases kids.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: So when they open a Tik TOK account or a
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: YouTube account, the algorithm realizes that this is a 19-year-old
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: or a 16-year-old boy, and they feed them the content.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: And so they don't have to look for it. It's
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: just shoved at them. And the other really surprising thing
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: was that, like, you can just, like, make your own pornography.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: And so these kids can, like, take a picture of
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: a girl that they like and insert her into, like,
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: violent pornography and then share it.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's... I mean, the fact that that is going
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: to be what our children contend with.
• 13:16
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: As they're coming of age now is so insanely scary.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: Cause like, I remember when I was in high school
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: and it was, we were probably the first cohort of like, well,
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: the first real cohort. Cause I speak to my husband
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: about this and he's like seven years older than me.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: And his cohort like didn't send like naked pictures.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah. We don't think we really did either.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: And I feel like my generation is the first generation
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: to really flirt and strike up online relationships or relationships
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: that are in real life, but also, like, are mainly
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: done over a phone.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: Right. I mean, no, I mean, we would like Gchat
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: and everything. I mean, what's different about this generation, though,
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: is that they don't strike up relationships online. They have
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: relationships with their AI. Oh, yeah, that's great. That was
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: a whole other component of it was these parasocial relationships
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: that people have with AI. That's another thing that I'm like,
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: are people really doing this?
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: It seems so end of the world-y.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: Can I admit something, though? so I don't, I don't
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: have a therapist. I don't have time for that. I
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: don't really, I don't, I don't like therapy and, and
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: I'm not to be a Scientologist, but I think it's
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: actually kind of unhealthy to just dwell on your problems
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: once a week for an hour.
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: I just, I don't think that it's good for you,
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: but there was something that was like really bothering me
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: a couple of weeks ago. And I just like with,
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: with talk to type, I just unloaded it into chat GPT.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: And I was like, why am I so angry? And I,
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: chat gbt psychoanalyzed me perfectly and i was like oh
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: oh yeah that's true that is why.
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: Okay that scares me it's a gateway.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: I only did it that one time and it was
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: like do you know like on the instant pot where
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: you press the pressure release valve and it goes and
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: it releases the pressure that's what it felt like to
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: me and as soon as i as soon as it
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: psychoanalyzed me i was like oh yeah yep okay i'm
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: done And it was like, now I feel good about it,
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: and I can move on. So I'm not, like, anti-anti,
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: but I can see it.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just people who aren't like you will get
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: that gratification. I don't know if it gratified you, though.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: Would you say it gratified you?
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it did.
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: Oh, it did?
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Some people just love gratification so much that they'll
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: just chase that. And ChatGPT doesn't have the brain to, like...
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: be like, no, actually, you've acted really badly here, you know?
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah. No, it is very forward and positive.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: I'm Greg Karumbas. Join Jim Garrity of National Review and
• 16:08
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• 16:11
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• 16:30
  Speaker 2: So let's go back to Cornell.
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: The dresses and the pornification, all of those things, every,
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: every like source that I've seen, not the reporting, but
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: the actual like text messages that I've seen and the
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: timelines that I've seen everything. It seems like this is
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: a young woman who thought it would be fun and
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: sexy and subversive and engaged in behavior that we would
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: not want our daughters to be being engaging in and
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: then there is still a level of shame in our
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: society and so people started talking about her on campus
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: and that was when she changed her mind and it
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: became a non-consensual encounter.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: And that's really tricky because um do you listen to.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: The fifth column podcast i wish i did though it's
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: really good is it easy to just drop in.
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had Sarah Heppler on, do you
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: know Sarah Heppler? She does the, she wrote Blackout.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: And she just wrote another book called Everything You Were
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: Told to Ever Want or something. It's about like not
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: having kids and family. And it's really interesting because She
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: frames it as, like, oh, everybody always told me that
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: I should feel, like, so empowered and, like, for, like,
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: not getting married and having kids. And actually, like, it's
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: not that simple. It just never happened to me and
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: I really wanted it. So it's a very interesting perspective anyway.
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: And she was talking about how she was the, like,
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: personal essays editor of some magazine in, like, peak woke.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: And she said for... A couple years there, I'm probably
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: absolutely ruining this depiction of what she actually said, but
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: it's like along the lines. For a couple years there,
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: all she had were submissions from women, older women who
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: were trying to reframe a bad sexual experience they had
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: 10 years prior as rape. And there was a couple
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: year period there where if women... thought back on a
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: sexual encounter that made them embarrassed, made them feel bad
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: that they regretted. We just accepted. Yeah. Something was done
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: to them and it was really bad and whoever it
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: was should go to prison, you know? And it scares
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: me that I feel like we're going back to that
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: with L.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: I think about, so Lily Phillips is a pornography stunt person,
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: kind of like she does lots of stunts online. She's
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: on OnlyFans. And she did a stunt.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: The one that had sex with a hundred or a thousand?
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: Well, both.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: So she did a hundred first and a documentary, a
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: YouTube documentary filmmaker followed her around. And afterwards she was
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: a mess. She was crying. She talked about how she
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: dissociated and, and mentally blacked out. Like she dissociated to
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: such an extent that she blacked out and couldn't remember
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: a lot of what happened. And it was so consensual
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: that she was looking for the men, she taped it,
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: she hyped it on her social media, and then later
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: she did it with a thousand men. And was, you know, much,
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: much more, she was, she was much better about being
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: prompt and, you know, keeping things moving so that she
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: could fit a thousand in instead of a hundred. Even
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: in that documentary, after she did the hundred men, she
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: looked like a woman who had been raped. Yeah. Because
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: she had been physically violated.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: But how do you, like my friend, my friend, Callie,
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: who is on Twitter is Twitter's Audrey Horn. We were
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: talking about this a couple of nights ago. And she
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: was talking about how there needs to be like a
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: third thing, like a moral kind of bucket that we
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: put stuff in that isn't necessarily illegal and isn't just
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: fine because somebody has consented so they can have whatever
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: they want done to them. But like a secret third
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: thing that is like a moral kind of way up
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: of whether you... Is it called marriage? Yeah.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: Because it's very easy for us. I, like, I don't understand, like,
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying I didn't have premarital interactions, okay? I don't, like,
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: my kids might listen to this one day. But I honestly,
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: I say this to my kids, if I'm just being honest. Like,
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: do I preach to my kids, save yourself for marriage?
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't think it's necessary.
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: I think it's a recipe for disaster as well, honestly.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: I do too.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: I know people who rushed into marriages with not the
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: right people because they wanted to have sex. Yeah. And
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: you have to also just know if there's chemistry. But
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: it doesn't mean jumping into bed with 100 men.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: But I also think that the thing with Cornel that
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: really confuses me is that I feel like as a society,
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: we do not allow ourselves or other people now to
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: do things, particularly sexually, and have the space to be like, oh,
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: that didn't make me feel good. That was a mistake.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: I don't want to do it again. Now, whether it's
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: yourself or whether I think in the case of Cornell,
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: Jane Doe felt so ostracized by everybody around her and
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: so shamed that everybody projecting that she should feel bad
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: made her retroactively feel bad, you know, retrospectively feel bad.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: That feeling bad doesn't mean that someone did something wrong
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: to you and that you can ruin their lives.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: Because like, there's a lot of ruined lives here. There's
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: her life, which is ruined. There's all the boys who
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: had a consensual encounter. That was disgusting. Okay. Like I
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: don't want my boys to ever engage in something like that.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: I don't want them to get a text that says
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: like free upstairs. And they're like, heck yeah, that's disgusting.
• 22:49
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: Gross. But also all of the members of the frat
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: are being doxxed right now by like Reddit. Every single
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: one of those boys, even people who were not in
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: the building at the time are getting doxxed and their
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: lives are getting destroyed. So the collateral damage is significant,
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: but what bothers me about this as a woman and like,
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: it bothers me on several levels. Cause I'm like, I'm
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: as a woman, a mother of daughters, a mother of sons.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: What bothers me as a woman is this woman gave
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: consent repeatedly. And when she said she wasn't comfortable with things,
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: they immediately stopped. There was total consent here. And then
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: she retroactively withdrew that consent. Homie, that doesn't work like
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: that girl. But now as a woman, are we not
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: able to give consent? Like this, this is, she's now
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: setting the precedent that we're not able to give consent.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: And I'm thinking about this in a post Lindsay Clancy
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: world where my husband is supposed to protect me from myself.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Patrick Clancy didn't do right by Lindsay, according to these
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: same people, because he let her be alone with her,
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: her children, even though she had never said, I feel homicidal.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: I feel suicidal.
• 24:06
  Speaker 6: Nothing.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: She had never said that she never verbalized it. And
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: yet the internet expects him to have never left her
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: alone with her children. So now like feminism, what 5.0,
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: wherever we are now, Women can't be left alone with
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: their own children. Women cannot grant consent. Like what are
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: we capable of according to these women? Because they've taken everything.
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: Clancy and this case are two of the biggest examples
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: in the past, like what is it? The past like
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: three months of like women are ruled by their hormones.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: And even when a woman is saying something with her
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: words to you, You don't have to listen. They might
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: not be telling the truth because they don't know what
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: they want.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because they're too hysterical. They're too emotional. They can't
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: be too horny.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: Like everything. It's crazy.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: They're too driven by their emotions. This is a dangerous
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: road that they're walking us down. And they're not going
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: to like what's on the other end of it. They're
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: not going to like the destination because it is a
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: world where we're not allowed to. Men can't trust us.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: And it's also a shame that as a society we have,
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: because there was a very simple way 30 years ago
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: that this would have gone down. And it would have
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: been Jane Doe's brother or father finds the guys and
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: beats the hell out of them. And they never do
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: it again. This is just like how society worked.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: And also that she would feel so shamed she would
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: have to leave campus and never come back. All of
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: those scenarios are good, by the way. You should feel
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: shame as a person, not just a woman. As a person,
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: you should feel shame if you engage in an encounter
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: like that. It's embarrassing. It's gross. Yeah.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: I mean, but what if a girl wants to have
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: a threesome? What if a single girl wants to have
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: a threesome? You know, like they say this is a
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: difficult situation as somebody who just went to slut con,
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: which we will talk about in the next episode.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: And tune in for that one.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, TLDR is a sex conference for men ran by
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: self-described sluts who put on this conference for men to
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: teach them how to have sex and turn women on, basically,
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: and just be interesting and able to have a conversation.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: And a lot of those women are single and often
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: have threesomes, and that seems fine.
• 26:39
  Speaker 6: No?
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: No. this is the difficult thing with i mean.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: Like go ahead and do it but just know that
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: i'm judging you internally.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: Because i saw a tweet yesterday by a conservative about
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: how jane doe must have been raped because women don't
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: have threesomes because she's never heard of a woman who.
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: Has a threesome okay karen sweet summer child summer child
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: I was literally like going to quote to you here
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: and I was like, it's not worth it.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: Stop.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: I mean, but I'm just putting the counterpoint out there.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: If a woman wants, if a single woman wants to
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: have a threesome, she's going to regret it in a
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: couple of years.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying it's, I'm not like, I'm just saying,
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: I judge you. I think you're gross.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: But this is, but, but this is like going back
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: to what I just said. Like if you do something
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: as a 20 year old girl that you are going
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: to regret five years later, It's fine.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I've done things that I regret.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I mean. We don't have to go
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: back on all of our mistakes and reframe them as
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: this terrible thing happened to you.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Lock it out and you go, ooh, that was a mistake.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: And you talk to Chad GBT about it 10 years later.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: No, you don't even do that. Cause you don't want
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Chad to judge you. No, I mean, listen, like I,
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: I have made, I've made mistakes and they're not just sexual.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: Like we all have those moments where like, Ooh, that
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: was not my best judgment. And you just kind of
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: just cringe internally and move on and hope that your
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: husband doesn't hear about it. That's what I do. My
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: husband doesn't know my worst things.
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: Now he does.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: But you have to nail them down first.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: How do we get back to a society where something
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: like this happens and it is dealt with in a
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: correct way? Like, what do you think is the correct
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: way to deal with Cornell?
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: I mean, certainly not AOC standing on a stage and
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: making things up out of whole cloth. I think there
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: should be consequences for AOC lying on stage. I think
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: that there needs to be some lawsuits. There was a
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: really funny guy who also, he's Asian and he had
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: the same first name and first initial as one of
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: the Cornell Seven. And he posted a really, really funny
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: TikTok where people were sending him nasty LinkedIn messages saying,
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: accusing him of being one of the Cornell seven. And
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: he was like, I know that all of us Asian
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: people look the same to you, but I'm not. I
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: graduated four years before this happened. And you could have
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: just seen my graduation year to do that instead of
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: sending me nasty messages. And people followed up on it.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: And he just started on LinkedIn contacting their employers with
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: screenshots of their messages. And, and then like their LinkedIn
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: disappeared or like their job disappeared off their LinkedIn or their,
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: their email wasn't associated with their like B Mandel at
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: commentary magazine anymore. Like that didn't exist anymore when he
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: followed up a couple of days later. So I think
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: that like, that's, there needs to be some consequences for
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: things like lying on stage for AOC and like people
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: harassing all of these guys who engaged in a gross
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: sexual encounter.
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: Also Doc's in Jane Doe. I mean, I don't want
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: to see that girl's face. That's really, it's really like.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Michael Tracy is a really gross person.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: And then when people kill themselves over this, they're like, oh,
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: like I wonder why that happened. Like we should not
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: see her face. We should not know her name. We
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: should not know any of these guys' names. We don't
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: know any of this.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I agree with you on her.
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: Really?
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: Now that I'm thinking about it, she is opting to
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: ruin the lives of seven men. Yeah, she opted to
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: ruin the lives of seven young men who she engaged
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: in a consensual sexual encounter with.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Ben Sass. And I'm Chris Dyer-Walt. And this
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: is Not Dead Yet. We're all dying, but some of
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: us have been brought face-to-face with that reality. However long
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: each of us have to do it, though, we all
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: want to live a good life. One with meaning, love,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: and joy. And our guests are here to help us
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: do exactly that. Now available for download and streaming at Ricochet.com.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: Ricochet.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: Join the conversation.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: Do you feel any sympathy for her? Because this is
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: where it's tricky for me because I'm like.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: I just kind of want to give her a hug.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: I do before she filed the suit. I feel pity
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: for her before she went on the offensive because she
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: obviously had stuff going on in her life that made
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: her vulnerable to needing validation in a sexual way like
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: that and attention in a sexual way like that. But
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: then she weaponized something that is... There's no take-backsies. There's
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: no undoing what she's doing to these young men. And
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: it's ruining their lives.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: I do, in some ways, I do blame the wider
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: culture for that. Because she... For starters, she's very young.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: I don't know if she knew what would have happened
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: from this. The blowback. The insane, insane blowback. And then secondly, like...
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: to even feel like this was an option to go
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: back after there is reams of evidence that you have
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: not only consented, but consented at like every step throughout.
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: And then only when you didn't get invited to a
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: Halloween party or whatever it was afterwards. And you were
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: kind of ostracized by people like, Oh, I know what
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: to do. I can go back and say that this
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: was not consensual and I can, get somebody like I
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: can take the heat off me and put it on
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: somebody else and I do think that that's a symptom
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: of like a wider thing because so many people so
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: many women over the past 10 years have done that
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: and been celebrated and launched careers from it and have
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: influences from it you.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: Know I will say to her credit she really has
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: laid low yeah we don't we she's not on stage
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: with AOC she's not speaking out she's not on you
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: know she's not on tv Yeah. But at the same time,
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: like these guys are never going to be able to
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: find a job. They're never like our, and to some
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: extent I'm okay with the life ruining. Like I'm not
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: okay with them never being able to find a job
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: and have professional success.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: That's too much.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: But like if my daughter came to me and was like, yeah,
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: this is a guy that I'm dating and it's a
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: guy who was known to have engaged in this. I
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: would tell my daughter, like, that's not a guy who
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: respects women.
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: No, that's true. But again, I think for them, this
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: is what we have done with consent is so kind
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: of counterintuitive and so clinical and so kind of by
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: the letter of the law that we have taken out
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: any like common sense, intuition and sexiness, honestly. Like if
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: you were like, I remember my husband, he's probably going to,
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: I'll leave it at this point. But like peak woke,
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: he would be going out on dates with women in
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: New York City and he would be like, can I
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: touch your knee? Can I give you a kiss? You know, like,
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: I've never found anything less sexy in my life. This
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: is how.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: Men act now. This is gay.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: And you know what? If these boys entered into a
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: consensual threesome, And things kept escalating in the moment. And
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: every single step of the way, she was like, no,
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: this is fine. No, this is fine. No, this is great.
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: It's really hard to say that they, they're like nasty men.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: Like, you know, it's nasty.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: It's gross. It's gross.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: Their brains have been so addled by porn that they
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: think this is appealing because this, this is something culturally
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: that I don't know how we change the narrative about
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: If you are a member of my family or my
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: husband's family, if you could please turn this off right now.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: There is nothing better than married sex. It is amazing.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: And it's so great because the person who you sleep
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: with sleeps in the bed next to you. You can
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: just wake the person up next to you and be like, hey,
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: what's up? And that's all you have to do. And
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: that person knows exactly what you like. They know exactly
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: what you don't like. It's just... Great. From start to finish,
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: always fantastic. You never have to leave your house. You
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: never have to like, you know, play the games or whatever.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: You just, my husband knows when there's like this one
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: spot that I touch him that he's, and it's not
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: a sexual spot, but it's like one place. And he's like, oh,
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: Bethany is in. And like that, you can't replace that.
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: That's amazing.
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: It's funny though, because I feel like particularly single men,
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: pity married men so much for only being able to
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: have sex with their wives when even if you are
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: having a lot of sex as a single guy you
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: are not having as much sex as a married man
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: like no way even if you were scouring the apps
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: and going on five dates a week you know like
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: maybe you sleep with three of them and the sex
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: isn't nearly as good no because it's awkward it's weird yes.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: So this is this is like what i think is
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: missing from the conversation and.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: Jane Doe needs to get married.
• 36:57
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: And our husbands are going to kill us for saying this,
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: but normal married women aren't saying these things. Normal married
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: men aren't saying these things because it's a violation of
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: your marital trust. And I would just like to remind
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: all of our listeners that this is a sacred place
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: and our husbands don't listen to this podcast. And I
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: would like all of you never to mention it to them.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: You know, My husband's rule is that he doesn't listen
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: to anybody's podcast that he knows because he has a
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: lot of friends with podcasts. And the only person he
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: breaks out for is Seth, Mr. Commentary.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: I get annoyed by the commentary podcast a lot because
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: whenever he talks, I'm like, I live with that person.
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: Ick, ick. No, not ick.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: I'm just like, I know what he thinks because I
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: live with him. But I want to hear more from Abe.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: Abe Greenwald is who I want to hear more from.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: So anyway... I highly recommend the commentary podcast, but this,
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: this I think is, you know, we've, we've fooled people
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: into thinking that like porn is sexy when actually it's
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: married sex. And it's so great. It's not, there's nothing
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: more accessible in the world. One spot, poke him right there.
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: Like a button. Do you, I, so I was talking
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: to somebody about this. Who, about Cornell. And she was
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: telling me about her friend who went to college and
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: her friend's father is like a military guy. So when
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: he dropped his daughter off at college halls, he just
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: knocked around every single door and was like, this is
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: my daughter. This is her name. Like she wasn't there.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: She was like in a room, but he was like,
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: my daughter's name is this. This is what she's saying.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: If anything happens to her, I will kill you. she
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: had a great like three years of college i love
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: it and i feel like we need more of this
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: i feel like we need more like.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: Where are the dads where are the dads who are
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: saying you can't leave the house dressed like that.
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: And the brothers and the brothers see this is all linked.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: No for real this is when you and i talked
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: beforehand i was like we're gonna talk about that and
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: then that and it's all the same ecosystem because it
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: used to be that you would be like i have
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: i have like almost teenage daughter and a preteen son,
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: like they don't, they don't want to see each other
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: getting in and out of the shower. They dress in
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: the bathroom. They undress in the bathroom. They lock the door.
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: You have a level of modesty around your brothers and
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: your father. This is interesting to me because I didn't
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: grow up with brothers or a father. So it's very
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: fascinating for me on a sociological level to watch my
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: daughter navigate this because I never had to. But there
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: is this inherent... evolutionary thing where like the brother and
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: the father protect you but also there's like a there's
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: a barrier you don't want them to see you half
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: naked and but there's something broken there because now these
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: girls are leaving their house and dad is like let
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: me take a picture for my instagram what are you
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: doing dad.
• 40:09
  Speaker 6: What are you doing do do you think that there's
• 40:13
  Speaker 6: anything specific that you have done to make your daughter
• 40:19
  Speaker 6: or daughters modest?
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: I think that we have like honest conversations about like,
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: this is something just for you. And like, I don't
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: think that there's enough of those conversations happening in, but
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: about everything like hard conversations, I think are happening less
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: and less frequently in homes where like, you know, we
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: talked about it. I don't know when she was nine, eight.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, I think that that outfit over there,
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: and it's me being judgmental. I'm like, that's not okay.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: That part of my body, only your dad sees. And
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: she's like, mom, oh my God. And I'm like, but
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: it's true. That is a sacred part of your body
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: that only one person should really see. And it's the
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: person you're currently sleeping with. Did I say that? No,
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: I said your husband. All right.
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: She'll get married at 18 now. I'm just kidding.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: But I am also saying to her, like, I don't
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: think that you should never have sex before you get married, actually.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: But that conversation happens at 12, 13. And she's deeply
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: uncomfortable with it. But I think, yeah, I mean, you say, like,
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: I don't think that's okay. I'm not comfortable seeing that.
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: And it was funny because we just went to Hershey
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: Park for Sukkot. It's a really fun Jewish holiday, the
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: Feast of the Tabernacles. So the Jewish community does this
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: really fun thing where in the intermediary days, because it's
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: a week-long festival, so there's beginning of it and end
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: of it. And then in the middle of it, you're
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: allowed to go out and do things or whatever. The
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: first days and the last days are holiday days where
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: you don't leave your house and all you do is
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: gorge yourself. And so the Jewish community... on the East
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: Coast will rent out Six Flags one day in Jackson,
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: New Jersey, and another day they rent out Hershey Park.
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: And so the entire thing is closed for a quote
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: unquote private event. And it's the Jews. And it's 99.98%
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: Jewish the whole time. They play Israeli music. Everything is kosher.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: It's really, really wholesome and fun. And I thought about
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: it afterwards. And I was like, why do I have
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: such a like nice feeling at the end of the day,
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: every time we do these things? And it's, and I
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: realized it's because I didn't see anyone's ass hanging out
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: of their shorts. I didn't see it because all day long,
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: when I go to these things, normally I'm frustrated by
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: the behavior and the dress of other people who do
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: not respect themselves and do not respect me. And I
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: don't need to see that. And for a whole glorious day,
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: Six Flags and Hershey Park are just wholesome. And I
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: said that to my daughter. I was like, it was
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: really nice to walk around and not see anyone's ass today.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: Right, right, right. Because I have so much to tell you.
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: So while I was in San Francisco for SlutCon, have
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: you ever heard of Folsom Street Fair? Folsom Street Fair?
• 43:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: Do you know what it is?
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: Not really, but I've heard of Folsom Street.
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: It's so Folsom street. It's on Folsom street, but Folsom
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: street fair is a yearly celebration of, I think it's BDSM.
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: This might, it might be something else, but it's, it's
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: freaky sex anyway. And wow, it was gross.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: It's the world's largest leather BDSM and alternative sexuality street fair. Okay.
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: So we went at 9am I think.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: That's too early for BDSM.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: I know, I know, I know. Well, we were like,
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: we'll see them set up. I was writing a piece
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: on SlutCon. So I was like, oh, this will be
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: good color anyway, because this is what 10 miles away
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: from SlutCon in San Francisco. Wow, it was disgusting. Even
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: at 9am, they were like fat, morbidly obese men with
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: micro penises, dressed in leather with their bums out. One
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: of them had like a ball gag on with like
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: a dildo. I like really, really the whole thing.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: The number of warnings we're going to have to put
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: on this episode.
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: I know, I know, I know. This is not one
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: to listen to if you have children around you.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: I love how we say that at the end of
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: the episode.
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: I know, I know. We'll put a disclaimer in the thing.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: And I have to say that I have been playing
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: devil's advocate with Cornell and SlutCon and a couple other
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: things just because I'm like, I think I have an
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: urge to just go against whatever conservatives say sometimes because
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: conservatives annoy me so much most of the time, even
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: though I took an online test the other day and
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: I am 97% conservative with every single view. But sometimes
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: I just want to be silly, so I play devil's advocate.
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: So I did this with Cornell and I was like, look,
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: if a girl wants to have a gangbang, just let
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: her have a gangbang, you know, it's fine, whatever. And
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: my conservative friend, Maddie Schultz, really, really owned me. I've
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: thought about it since because it's so true. And this
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: is the same with Folsom Street Fair as well. And
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: she said, Cara, I don't care if people want to
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: have freaky sex, but why is it that when they do,
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: I always have to hear about it afterwards? And it's
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: just true.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: Because they're trying to justify it. It's like when you
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: keep telling people, like, I'm really happy, guys. I'm really
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: happy over and over and over. I'm like, really, really
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: happy people don't need to say it 17 times. It's
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: because the gross... BDSM sex they're having is bad. And
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: the awesome married sex that we're having is awesome. But
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: you don't hear married people talk about it because we
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: don't feel like we need to prove it to the
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: world because I don't need anyone to tell me I
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: have great sex because I know I do.
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: As well as that, though, I think Maddie's point was
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: more that a lot of them regret it afterwards.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure. It's disgusting.
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: So these things often do come out, whether it's social
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: media or Slutcon or Cornell.
• 46:17
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: Bless their hearts. Everyone just go get married. It's so great. Everyone,
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: please don't tell my husband what we talked about in
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: the show. I think my husband's boss listens to this
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: show pretty frequently. Please don't, John. Do not tell him.
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: I'm going to go downstairs and he's going to be like,
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: what are you talking about?
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: Nothing.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: Nothing.
• 46:40
  Speaker 5: Homecoming.
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: Homecoming dresses.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: We talked about homecoming dresses. That's it. And then I'll
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: have sex with him so that if he does hear
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: about it.
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God. Stop.
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: Make him mad.
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: Cut. Cut.
• 46:57
  Speaker 5: Scene.
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: Thanks for listening to this week's episode. Don't forget to subscribe. Brian,
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: can you just cut everything?
• 47:06
  Speaker 6: No.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: Until next week, guys. Saddle up. I guess now that
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: sounds weird and sexual. Whatever. Just don't tell our husbands. Ricochet.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: Join the conversation.