Latest / The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast / 142. Navigating Life's Ups and Downs: A Reality Transurfing Perspective

Transcript

142. Navigating Life's Ups and Downs: A Reality Transurfing Perspective · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:00
  The last year, 2023 has been full of ups and downs for myself and I'm sure for you as well.
• 0:09
  And today we're going to shift gears and we're going to talk a little bit about what's going on.
• 0:14
  I'm going to get real candid with you and more.
• 0:19
  You're listening to Kathy's Coaching Podcast.
• 0:22
  I'm your host, Kathie Owen.
• 0:25
  So you may or may not have noticed, but I have been missing from my podcast for the last two weeks, and I have been really consistent over the last year.
• 0:37
  And I pride myself in that.
• 0:39
  And then I also pride myself in something that I coach, which is being kind to yourself and taking time off.
• 0:46
  But I found something out about myself during this time.
• 0:50
  I was trying too hard.
• 0:53
  I had too many things on my plate and I was doing way too much and I wasn't having my priorities straight.
• 1:02
  And if you heard my other episode about my 4P process for coaching, my priorities are number one.
• 1:10
  And anytime I coach somebody, We find priorities first.
• 1:15
  Why?
• 1:16
  Because when we prioritize what's important to us, then everything else will fall into place whenever we hit.
• 1:24
  a road bump because it's not if but when we hit a road bump.
• 1:30
  And over this past year, I have hit many road bumps.
• 1:34
  I would even call them so big that they were like mountains I had to drive around.
• 1:40
  Starting in February, I almost quit my job as a corporate wellness director, that I love my job.
• 1:49
  But there was A major lack of communication between my supervisor, HR, and myself that led to an upheaval in my life.
• 2:02
  I was just going, I want to quit.
• 2:05
  I just want to quit.
• 2:06
  I don't feel appreciated.
• 2:08
  I don't understand why they're not taking advantage of the resources that I have as an individual and the value that I bring to the table.
• 2:17
  Now, I say this in all humility and humbleness, but I also struggle with communication.
• 2:25
  And I talked about this in an episode not too long ago.
• 2:29
  And I feel like, and you may notice this when I talk, I get ahead of myself and then I struggle to bring it all back into the pieces that go together.
• 2:41
  And the reason I do this is because as a child, I was always I was told not to talk back.
• 2:50
  I was even physically abused because when I expressed an opinion or my voice, I was hit by the adult around me.
• 3:01
  And I don't say that to talk bad about my parent, but at the same time, I learned a lot of valuable lessons, and I've studied this over the years.
• 3:13
  I've studied personal development, I've studied communication, especially over the past year because when I say that there was a lack of communication between myself and the others that were in my area, my supervisor, human resources, I say I was the one who was not communicating, which is usually what happens.
• 3:40
  I take responsibility for my actions and my behaviors.
• 3:45
  And I'm also really hard on myself.
• 3:48
  So I try to take those components and.
• 3:52
  Keep them in line when I discuss these things because it's important and it is Important to take to me.
• 4:01
  It's something I value is responsibility and I take responsibility for my things because I'm the type of person who I don't So, I don't take things, I don't need things in my life.
• 4:16
  I want them in my life.
• 4:18
  If I am there, it's because I want to be.
• 4:21
  So, for example, on recording my YouTube videos.
• 4:25
  I hit a bump, and that bump was, I had a comment on one of my, on one of my videos, on my courses that I teach that I have for free, and they're also linked to YouTube videos, and I'll have a link to that in the show notes and description below.
• 4:43
  But what happened was I had somebody say, please get on camera because we wanna see your facial expressions.
• 4:52
  It just adds more to it and.
• 4:55
  I got to a place where I was kind of hard on myself.
• 4:58
  I'm like, you know what?
• 4:59
  She's right.
• 5:00
  I do need to get on camera.
• 5:01
  However, it's One more thing on my plate that I can't do, and I want to add value.
• 5:11
  And this is the easiest way I add value by getting on my podcast.
• 5:15
  That's why a podcast is much easier, but YouTube, I have my community there and I want to share my content with them as well without getting on video.
• 5:26
  If you want to see me on video.
• 5:28
  I go live on Instagram about once, twice a week sometimes, and I'm also in my stories on my camera.
• 5:36
  I get in there and I talk about what's going on or what I'm doing right now, and I try to keep in touch with my community that way.
• 5:46
  It's easier for me.
• 5:48
  It's something that's just easily accessible, but having said that I was holding myself back because I'm like, okay, I'm going to get on camera.
• 5:59
  I'm going to schedule this and do this.
• 6:02
  And it just became too much on my plate because I'm also coaching.
• 6:06
  I'm corporate wellness director, and I'm working that job 40 hours a week.
• 6:11
  And then I'm also coaching and I'm creating courses and content on.
• 6:17
  Um, and writing blog posts and all of that can take its toll.
• 6:22
  So I was not prioritizing things where they needed to be.
• 6:27
  And I also make flow a priority in my life.
• 6:31
  What do I mean by that?
• 6:33
  I mean that I get in the zone and when I do that, things happen quicker, easier, faster and more simple.
• 6:43
  And flow is just Like picture watching a professional athlete.
• 6:50
  Picture them Um, just getting in the zone and everything just works, but you, you know, we're human and there's going to be hiccups that come along the way.
• 7:00
  So even the best professional athletes make mistakes sometimes, and my favorite sport is baseball.
• 7:07
  So they don't always hit it out of the park.
• 7:11
  I don't always hit it out of the park.
• 7:13
  In fact, I strike out more than I hit it out of the park, but I had a long talk with myself and I realized that The community that I do have, they need what I have to say, and it may be a small community.
• 7:30
  And in fact, I like it small because that's just, if I got too, too big, I'd be overwhelmed with what's going on.
• 7:39
  And that's what I see a lot of other coaches and entrepreneurs doing.
• 7:44
  They're not serving the small community that they do have.
• 7:48
  In fact, they're chasing the big, big.
• 7:52
  And when you chase the big thing, you neglect what is going on in your world.
• 7:59
  You neglect what you want in your life, as opposed to what you think you need.
• 8:05
  Did you see how I did that?
• 8:07
  I just went full circle.
• 8:08
  I talked about what I want in my life, not what I need.
• 8:13
  I am a That's something that I value deep inside my heart.
• 8:18
  If somebody's in my life, it's because I want them there.
• 8:23
  And Over the past year, I came to this realization that, and I can't remember if I talked about this on my Instagram channel or my YouTube channel, and I think it was an Instagram live I did, but I had a visit with friends back in October or November.
• 8:43
  I don't remember which month that was, but it was not too long ago.
• 8:46
  And when I met with them, we all shared our struggles.
• 8:51
  our trials, our tribulations, and I noticed we all had that in common.
• 8:56
  We had these problems, we had these great things that happened, these bad things that happened.
• 9:02
  And one thing I came to realize about myself is that I am not attached to how things are supposed to be.
• 9:13
  I'm attached to how things Or how my intuition tells me that things are.
• 9:22
  And I grew to be like this because of the problems that I had in my life.
• 9:28
  First of all, it started as a child.
• 9:30
  My mom would not, um, She did not know how to support me.
• 9:37
  She did not know how to communicate.
• 9:39
  She did not know how to raise a daughter and that's not her fault.
• 9:45
  But at the same time, I had to learn how to take care of things on my own.
• 9:50
  It made me extremely independent, but it also made me very aware of how people are acting emotionally.
• 9:58
  Emotional intelligence is.
• 10:02
  It's more important than real intelligence.
• 10:05
  And my emotional intelligence comes from my intuition as well.
• 10:09
  And so what evolved over the years was I ended up marrying a very narcissistic man who came from a very dysfunctional family.
• 10:21
  And I say, there's no such thing as a functional family, but this dysfunction was to another level.
• 10:29
  And I did not even know families like.
• 10:32
  This existed because I was so protected in my childhood.
• 10:37
  My parents protected me from the outside world.
• 10:41
  I didn't even know families like this existed.
• 10:43
  And when I say this families like this existed, I'm talking Christmas was horrible.
• 10:50
  There was so much drama in this family that they actually thrived on the drama.
• 10:56
  And I wrote a blog post not too long ago about Christmas because I spent many Christmases alone.
• 11:04
  After eight years of marriage with this man, we divorced.
• 11:07
  He divorced me and I moved on.
• 11:10
  But at the same time, he's, he.
• 11:13
  He used his money and he got my kids in the custody battle.
• 11:18
  Not in time.
• 11:20
  He just used lawyers and tricks in the court to manipulate me and control his time because I never could afford a lawyer and anyone that I did have.
• 11:33
  His lawyers would communicate with them and they would turn everything around.
• 11:37
  That is a whole nother story for a whole nother episode, but having said that I had to learn how to Communicate with my kids via intuition.
• 11:53
  Yes, I really, really did.
• 11:55
  And in fact, just the other day, I texted one of my kids and I said, Hey, are you okay?
• 12:00
  I'm getting this feeling.
• 12:01
  And he, he texts me back.
• 12:03
  He goes, Wow, mom, you're usually spot on and right now I'm doing great.
• 12:07
  So, I don't know, it could have been something else that was going on.
• 12:11
  And in fact, I was a little overwhelmed with the things I put on my plate and I had to sit back and go, okay, this is not how it's going to work.
• 12:21
  I had to let go of that attachment of, first of all, with my kids.
• 12:25
  Imagine that letting go of attachment and importance of being a mom and that role that was.
• 12:35
  Not what I wanted in at all.
• 12:38
  I did not want that role that, that my ex placed on me as a mother.
• 12:43
  I had to let go of the attachment.
• 12:46
  I do not have any photographs.
• 12:49
  With my kids on their graduations from college, from high school.
• 12:54
  I don't have any sporting event pictures with them at all.
• 12:59
  And my kids do not have pictures with me and their dad.
• 13:04
  And unless they were before the age, my youngest was only two.
• 13:09
  My oldest was four.
• 13:11
  So we're talking, I've been divorced for 24 years now.
• 13:18
  And the man still does not communicate with me.
• 13:21
  He does not give them.
• 13:23
  I don't know why.
• 13:24
  I don't know why.
• 13:25
  I, I, that's a whole nother thing for a whole nother episode.
• 13:29
  And the reason I'm going into this is because one of the most valuable lessons I learned was dropping importance.
• 13:40
  In reality, transurfing is something we talk about because when you put something up on a pedestal and you make it so important, it's going to crash.
• 13:48
  Or if it doesn't crash, something's going to tumble in there.
• 13:52
  And also letting go of attachment.
• 13:55
  Attachment to how you think things should be and how they are.
• 14:00
  And when you let go of those attachments, things just fall into place.
• 14:07
  Because.
• 14:08
  I believe that when you listen to your intuition and your internal guidance that you know what you need to do.
• 14:19
  So let's go full circle here and go back to what happened in earlier this year and how I almost quit my job with lack of communication.
• 14:28
  So I let go of importance.
• 14:31
  I put things back where they belong.
• 14:34
  I listened to my intuition.
• 14:35
  I got in touch with my inner self and had long conversations with myself.
• 14:41
  And I also figured out where my lack of communication was coming into play and how it was.
• 14:47
  Messing things up, even communication with myself.
• 14:53
  I got in touch with Emotional Intelligence, which is a book that was written, cut that.
• 15:03
  And Emotional Intelligence is something that's very helpful.
• 15:08
  When you become emotionally intelligent, which I think is an ongoing journey, there's, you don't ever get to the destination.
• 15:17
  It's an ongoing journey.
• 15:19
  But when you get in touch with your emotional intelligence, things fall into place, you get into flow, things happen easily, and you don't have attachments to how things are supposed to be.
• 15:31
  And when this happens, you just make a shift.
• 15:34
  And you also can see things for how they really are, how things are.
• 15:41
  It's just a, what do I want to say?
• 15:45
  I want to say it's just a journey.
• 15:48
  It's not a destination, it's just a journey.
• 15:52
  And coming full circle to the end of 2023, I see how things fell into place.
• 15:58
  Of course, connecting the dots looking backwards, but at the same time, I see how much that I've grown and what I've learned in, in retrospect, and so.
• 16:10
  Looking forward to 2024, I want this to be more of a podcast.
• 16:17
  I'm going to do more episodes just like this, where I talk about what's going on in my business, in my job, and also in my personal life as well.
• 16:29
  Because I want to be in touch with my community.
• 16:32
  I want to provide value of things that I've learned.
• 16:38
  And so when I looked at 2024, I started my dream big notion page for 2024.
• 16:46
  And at the top of that, I include a quote that life is always in balance.
• 16:51
  Things are in balance.
• 16:53
  And when I get stressed out or I get.
• 16:57
  I always turn to that mantra because that mantra calms me down and it helps me realize that I'm becoming attached to how things are supposed to be.
• 17:09
  And I'm also becoming attached to how important things are.
• 17:15
  And when you make things overly important, as Reality Transurfing teaches us, that balance forces will come in to knock everything out.
• 17:24
  out of whack.
• 17:25
  And it's so true and I've seen that happen so many times in my life.
• 17:31
  And so today's episode is about creating value and how I want to move forward to 2024.
• 17:39
  And by creating value, I want to share life lessons.
• 17:44
  I want to share reality transurfing, reality creation.
• 17:47
  My business, the things that I have learned and things that I'm learning right now, and that's how I'm going to move forward with this, and I think that's much more personable, that's much more Kathie style than just teaching all the time and just making sure I put out content and get on video and get on this and do this and do that.
• 18:10
  That's not how I operate.
• 18:12
  I operate from a place of value.
• 18:14
  I want to provide value to you, and if You know, most likely if you're not listening anymore, you're not interested because I'm not for everybody and I totally get that and that's all fine.
• 18:28
  All right, that's my episode for today.
• 18:31
  I trust that you found it helpful.
• 18:33
  If you know somebody who could benefit from the little life lessons of non attachment, of dropping importance, please share this with somebody.
• 18:45
  And until next time, I will see you next time.
• 18:49
  Peace out and Namaste.
• 18:50
  Peace out and Namaste.