Latest / The D.L. Hughley Show / DLHS HOUR 2 | Marriage, Faith, and the Internet’s Hottest Relationship Debate

Transcript

DLHS HOUR 2 | Marriage, Faith, and the Internet’s Hottest Relationship Debate · The D.L. Hughley Show

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: So a man says this.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Nothing comes before my wife.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: And the fact that it's contempraary, you know, he is
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: the thing if you roll your eyes when you ask
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: that question, you don't like the person you with.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: I can't you gotta do?
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: You gotta put all the scruppiness in your boy, all
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: that you don't really like who you with.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: But in theory, it is supposed to be that way.
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, and then I think that that might be
• 0:28
  Speaker 4: the reason. You know, unfortunately so many you know, marriages
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: don't make it more than half of them. And in
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: divorce and uh, you know a lot of times people
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: put other stuff in front of your spouse and it's
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: not supposed to.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you said you work all you work as
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: much as I do work a lot.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: There are people who could say, like you could have
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: an argument which they could say, you always work and
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: you seem to care about everything more and that wouldn't
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: be true, But that would you know, somebody could have
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: that kind of perspective.
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: Right, I mean they could. But you know who am
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: I working for? We put you know, me and my
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: wife is a team. We're doing our thing. You take
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: it out. I got this thing, I bring the money home,
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: you put it where it's supposed to go.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: So, uh, you got that thing too, but they don't.
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, they put in a lot of places they
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: wanted to go.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: You know, I don't.
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: I don't think you gotta go to Amazon all the time.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: I don't think though, But you know.
• 1:19
  Speaker 5: But.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: You gotta keep it together, keep that team work there
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: because you you know, kids will playing against each other too.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna said, Daddy said, you know they do that,
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: so you got course, you gotta stand together.
• 1:30
  Speaker 6: Man.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: My kid, my daughter's grown married to a doctor.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: Still got a credit card for me that they run
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: up every year, every week, every month, every week. So yeah,
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: I think there are that what he has said is
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: absolutely true, and it's the way things art be. I
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: don't know that they always are, and I don't know
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: that even him he was talking about even when his
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: kids were younger and more dependent, I bet he didn't
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: have that same kind of attitude when they got older.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: I think you said it though. It's just there's situations,
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: but you got to look at the overall course. Oh yeah,
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: this is the you know, something's happening today, Okay, you
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: got to.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Deal with it.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: But but overall it's.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: A sliding scale.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, but I you know, I think I'm gonna
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: eat first. Like, well, here's the thing. My my father
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: always ate first. Always, that was the only thing he got.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: We ate and we got to eat. We couldn't start
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: eating till he started eating. Then when he was finished,
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: if he pushed away from the table and did want anymore,
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: we could have seconds. If he wanted someone more more,
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: we didn't have seconds. That was it, it was. It
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: was really the only thing he got. But he got
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: to he he got fed first, and we couldn't start
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: eating till he started, right, you know, I mean, I
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: don't know. There aren't very much. You know, my wife
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: was never gonna do that. I'm gonna feed my kids.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: But in theory with this with his brother saying, it's
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: absolutely right and appropriate, and I think the way that
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: it ought be.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Who comes first?
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: Your husband, your spouse, your mother, your parents, or your
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: children eight seven seven two pot two two Poort twenty six.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: It is a Dale Hughgley show. A young man says this.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Nothing comes before my wife. Let me repeat this, nothing
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: comes before.
• 3:17
  Speaker 7: My wife, not the dog, not my job, not my mother,
• 3:23
  Speaker 7: not my father, not my children.
• 3:25
  Speaker 8: Once they get to a certain age. Nothing in this
• 3:29
  Speaker 8: world comes before my wife, because there is no bond
• 3:33
  Speaker 8: in this world that is stronger than a husband and
• 3:37
  Speaker 8: a wife. We exchange bodily fluids, we break bills down,
• 3:43
  Speaker 8: we problem solved together. We figure things out together. So
• 3:47
  Speaker 8: never would I let my mother, my.
• 3:50
  Speaker 9: Father, my children, my dog, my employment ever get in
• 3:56
  Speaker 9: the way or come in between my wife. It is
• 3:59
  Speaker 9: my job always put her first, and she's always going
• 4:03
  Speaker 9: to know what.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I am going to pick her over.
• 4:05
  Speaker 8: Everything every single time.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: Nothing.
• 4:09
  Speaker 8: Let me repeat nothing, and no one comes before my wife.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Skipe. You said something off there. I find it very interesting.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: What do you say, I said?
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: In that dynamic we're talking about right now, you got parents,
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: you got spouse, you got kids. I bet most of
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: the time, the most disappointment you've probably ever felt from
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: that dynamic is probably from your kids.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: And I think it's I bet a couple. It's a close.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: There's a couple of reasons for that. I think sometimes
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: we put to high expectation. We want our kids to be.
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: We want so much for them, and we put it high,
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: and when they do some things and don't listen and
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: everything else, I think, you know, well, I don't know. Yeah,
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: your spouse could disappoint you. Unfortunately I have.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: No no, no, they can't.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: And like vice versa, I date this, Uh, both my
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: daughters hood rest and got arrested and I had to
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: pay for lawyers and stuff.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: So I was very distasted. I was disappointing. I bet
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: you it was this. Yes it was visited, but your
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: disappointment in parents. I mean, but but you expected from
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: your parent.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: I bet though it's your level of expectation. You're right
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: saying your level of expectation.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Who comes first?
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: Your husband, your spouse, your mother, your parents or your children?
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Eight seven seven two two two four two six. It
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: is the d L. Hughgley Show. Who do you put first?
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: Your your children, your spouse, your children or your parents.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: We're going right to the phones.
• 5:25
  Speaker 10: Once you stand before God themselves and the holy match,
• 5:28
  Speaker 10: I want to say, I do that partner becomes your world,
• 5:31
  Speaker 10: your life, and the foremanth is from that point is
• 5:33
  Speaker 10: your children. After your children, this is your mother and father,
• 5:36
  Speaker 10: then your brother and sisters and so on. That is
• 5:39
  Speaker 10: a format. Your wife is your world, but you both
• 5:42
  Speaker 10: keep God in your world. Anything outside of that has
• 5:46
  Speaker 10: no barrier befall in order. In that way, your wife,
• 5:50
  Speaker 10: your children, your mother and father, your sister and brothers
• 5:53
  Speaker 10: is so home with family members. That is the order
• 5:56
  Speaker 10: that it goes.
• 5:57
  Speaker 11: I can agree to disagree with the brother. I understand
• 6:02
  Speaker 11: what he was saying about putting nobody before his wife
• 6:07
  Speaker 11: in the marriage vals. Yes, But I disagreed with when
• 6:12
  Speaker 11: he was saying about having the body fluids with his wife. Well,
• 6:19
  Speaker 11: first of all, the first body fluids he ever had
• 6:22
  Speaker 11: was with his mother coming out the wound, and secondly
• 6:27
  Speaker 11: with the mother kissing him and breastfeeding him if she
• 6:32
  Speaker 11: did so. I didn't understand how he got to that conclusion.
• 6:38
  Speaker 11: And also, you know, again the first entity that I
• 6:42
  Speaker 11: put first as God.
• 6:45
  Speaker 12: I agree with the gentleman totally. You know, fifty plus
• 6:48
  Speaker 12: years ago I was a child. My dad he asked
• 6:51
  Speaker 12: me the question while fishing. He said, if your mom
• 6:54
  Speaker 12: was drowning or your wife was drowning. The course, at
• 6:57
  Speaker 12: that age I know nothing about his wife. He said,
• 6:59
  Speaker 12: who would you say first? And I told him, of course,
• 7:02
  Speaker 12: your mom. And he explained how the Bible works, what
• 7:06
  Speaker 12: it said in the Bible, and he said, believe it
• 7:09
  Speaker 12: or not, it's your wife that you're supposed to save
• 7:12
  Speaker 12: and that just stuck with me for years. Subsequently, about
• 7:16
  Speaker 12: ten years ago, a mental friend of mine and I
• 7:19
  Speaker 12: was an adult and married, asked me the same question,
• 7:22
  Speaker 12: and of course the response was with my dad had
• 7:25
  Speaker 12: taught me and he was a Mason and he was
• 7:28
  Speaker 12: training me for Mason Mary. And he said, yes, that's
• 7:31
  Speaker 12: exactly right. He's supposed to save your wife. All kudos
• 7:34
  Speaker 12: were man for even bringing it out, because a lot
• 7:36
  Speaker 12: of men don't have that in him night this day
• 7:38
  Speaker 12: and age.
• 7:40
  Speaker 10: You're a true Christian if you believe in the Bible.
• 7:42
  Speaker 13: The Bible said the order family is God first, spouse,
• 7:46
  Speaker 13: second children, third, parents' court.
• 7:49
  Speaker 10: I was nothing wrong with what he's saying.
• 7:50
  Speaker 13: What he's saying he put his wife first.
• 7:52
  Speaker 10: I said, I was supposed to be man supposed to
• 7:53
  Speaker 10: put his wife first.
• 7:54
  Speaker 14: Wife is supposed to put her husband first.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Who comes first?
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: Your husband, your spouse, your mother, your parents, or your children?
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Eight seven seven two two two two six. It is
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: a D. L. Hughgley show. The question we're asking is
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: this young man says this.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Nothing comes before my wife. Let me repeat this, nothing
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: comes before.
• 8:16
  Speaker 7: My wife, not the dog, not my job, not my mother,
• 8:22
  Speaker 7: not my father, not my children.
• 8:24
  Speaker 8: Once they get to a certain age, nothing in this
• 8:28
  Speaker 8: world comes before my wife, because there is no bond
• 8:32
  Speaker 8: in this world that is stronger than a husband and
• 8:36
  Speaker 8: a wife.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Who do you put person, your spouse, your children, or
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: your parents will go right to the post.
• 8:43
  Speaker 13: I feel like what the young man said was correct.
• 8:45
  Speaker 13: I feel like what he said was correct because at
• 8:47
  Speaker 13: the end of the day, like he said, we share
• 8:49
  Speaker 13: each other's body, we become as one. And if you
• 8:52
  Speaker 13: want to look at it from a spiritual level, it
• 8:54
  Speaker 13: says once a man leaves his home and gets with
• 8:56
  Speaker 13: his wife, people comes warm with his wife. So I
• 8:58
  Speaker 13: feel like he was definitely correct. I feel like a
• 9:00
  Speaker 13: lot of the time when we speak on this, when
• 9:02
  Speaker 13: we speak on this subject about the kids coming first
• 9:05
  Speaker 13: and other people coming for your marriage is usually and
• 9:08
  Speaker 13: being I'm a black man myself, so I really feel
• 9:11
  Speaker 13: like it happens a lot.
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: And I raised as a married person. I believe that
• 9:16
  Speaker 5: there are things that married people share with each other
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: that they don't share with anybody else. The Bible says,
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: when you're married, you're a bone of my bone, your
• 9:26
  Speaker 5: flesh of my flesh. You become one. So Therefore I've
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: been in this first my husband. I love my children.
• 9:33
  Speaker 5: Of course, you love your kids because you as a woman,
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: I gave birth to them. But when I'm sitting down,
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: it's my husband and me and then my children. Nothing
• 9:43
  Speaker 5: can separate me and my husband.
• 9:45
  Speaker 15: I've been married since nineteen ninety and what I'm saying
• 9:47
  Speaker 15: I understand the brother. He wasn't literal. I take them
• 9:50
  Speaker 15: just me and passionate tod dictates agenda. Every situation is different,
• 9:54
  Speaker 15: but the wife is always first. The situations are different
• 9:58
  Speaker 15: from a situation the situation. So when he says things
• 10:02
  Speaker 15: like that, people take it literally like everything in the world. No, no, no,
• 10:05
  Speaker 15: Jesus passion, because I speak with passion when I'm talking
• 10:08
  Speaker 15: about my wife. But I know where to prioritize it
• 10:11
  Speaker 15: will not to prioritize so and most people to get
• 10:14
  Speaker 15: upset about it probably don't even have anybody.
• 10:17
  Speaker 16: Well, the gentleman said, it's right, And I'm calling from
• 10:20
  Speaker 16: a female's perspective because I feel like the females should
• 10:23
  Speaker 16: be the same way about her husband. Because who is
• 10:26
  Speaker 16: the one person that loves you for who you are?
• 10:29
  Speaker 16: Your mother loves you because you're that kid, Your kid
• 10:32
  Speaker 16: loves you because you are their parent. But that spouse,
• 10:34
  Speaker 16: that mate, they chose you for the things that they
• 10:37
  Speaker 16: like about you. So I believe that. Yeah, my husband
• 10:40
  Speaker 16: comes first, and then I deal with my children, because
• 10:43
  Speaker 16: if you met that husband, that king, he should make
• 10:45
  Speaker 16: everything right in your house.
• 10:47
  Speaker 15: I mean, my wife is my world. But again, if
• 10:52
  Speaker 15: it wasn't for my parents bringing me into the world,
• 10:54
  Speaker 15: I wouldn't have had no wife to marry. No way
• 10:56
  Speaker 15: can we clone this man.
• 10:57
  Speaker 17: This man, he knows what he's talking about. Now, he
• 11:00
  Speaker 17: did stay his children after they got to a certain age.
• 11:04
  Speaker 17: I think he's right. Uh, he needs to teach the
• 11:07
  Speaker 17: class because if my ex husband had this ideology, we
• 11:11
  Speaker 17: would still be married.
• 11:12
  Speaker 14: You know.
• 11:13
  Speaker 12: Man.
• 11:13
  Speaker 14: Just about thirty minutes ago, I was there in the
• 11:14
  Speaker 14: same conversation with a friend of mine about you know,
• 11:16
  Speaker 14: about the wife and about you know, being uh you know,
• 11:19
  Speaker 14: honest and fourth company and not running around the streets.
• 11:21
  Speaker 14: And I agree with that nothing at all, nothing comes
• 11:23
  Speaker 14: to me, you id, just telling them nothing comes before
• 11:25
  Speaker 14: my wife. When I leave the house, I'm out the
• 11:27
  Speaker 14: house and bring stuff back to the house with my wife,
• 11:29
  Speaker 14: and she's the queen of the house, you know. So
• 11:31
  Speaker 14: I believe that firmly. I saw my granddad and Grandmam
• 11:34
  Speaker 14: interact like that, you know, so I know what. I
• 11:36
  Speaker 14: know what it is to be a man. I know
• 11:37
  Speaker 14: what it is to be a husband, you know, and
• 11:39
  Speaker 14: I truly understand that. You know, it's a sacred thing.
• 11:41
  Speaker 14: You know. The woman she's your she's your real you know,
• 11:44
  Speaker 14: and she's there, she's that as the Bible says, she's
• 11:46
  Speaker 14: that help mate, you know what I mean. Son, She's
• 11:48
  Speaker 14: down with it. And my wife is with me like
• 11:50
  Speaker 14: that man. She's down with me like four flat tides.
• 11:52
  Speaker 14: And so am I all right?
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: We got huh My Life on the Yong and to
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: find out what life is like on the yell. That
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: boy tree that's coming up at about ten minutes is to
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: do a huge show. That boy Trey is here to
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: let us know what life is like in an HBCU
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: My Life on the.
• 12:11
  Speaker 18: Yard here, my free I love my agee see I do,
• 12:26
  Speaker 18: I love.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: My What's good? Y'all say that?
• 12:31
  Speaker 19: Boy Trey back inting with another episode of My Life
• 12:34
  Speaker 19: on the Yard. Inside look at.
• 12:35
  Speaker 6: HBC life, dude. We are getting closer and closer to
• 12:39
  Speaker 6: grad and that just means the senior itist is kicking up.
• 12:42
  Speaker 6: It's currently kicking my ass right now. But we gotta
• 12:47
  Speaker 6: lock in. We still got a lot of work to do.
• 12:49
  Speaker 6: We still gott to fulfill these requirements. And I keep
• 12:52
  Speaker 6: having to tell myself, Bro, you got one month to
• 12:54
  Speaker 6: lock in.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: You got this.
• 12:56
  Speaker 19: Just put your head down and work.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: This is like suicide.
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 13:01
  Speaker 19: When you're running, touching the free throw line, run and
• 13:04
  Speaker 19: touch at half court, you get to that like last
• 13:07
  Speaker 19: up and down and you ready to stop running at
• 13:09
  Speaker 19: the finish line. Nah, you got pushed through. A coach
• 13:12
  Speaker 19: gonna make you run again.
• 13:13
  Speaker 8: I am not trying to run again. Bro.
• 13:16
  Speaker 19: I am so done with diverging all of this time
• 13:19
  Speaker 19: and energy on school work. There's so much other things
• 13:23
  Speaker 19: I could be doing with that time. But you know,
• 13:26
  Speaker 19: like I said, we got a job to finish. And
• 13:29
  Speaker 19: graduations are getting closer and closer. My mom has already
• 13:33
  Speaker 19: started talking to me about getting Airbnb's for the graduation
• 13:37
  Speaker 19: weekend and like getting to travel together for all my
• 13:40
  Speaker 19: family members, everything like that.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: And it's looking like this.
• 13:44
  Speaker 19: Grad is gonna mess around and have.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: Way more people than my high schooling and damn.
• 13:49
  Speaker 19: Near the whole family came from mind.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: In high school.
• 13:51
  Speaker 6: So that's saying something and you.
• 13:54
  Speaker 19: Know what that means.
• 13:55
  Speaker 6: That means more grad gifts.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Dude, that has been.
• 13:59
  Speaker 12: On my mind.
• 14:00
  Speaker 19: I low ke, you gotta listen like a list together
• 14:03
  Speaker 19: in my notes of just a whole bunch of stuff
• 14:06
  Speaker 19: that you know, I feel like I deserve after you know,
• 14:09
  Speaker 19: four years of hard work.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Usually I would be like a little.
• 14:13
  Speaker 19: Modest with the price tag, but this time around, Hey, naw,
• 14:17
  Speaker 19: hell naw. I'm graduating college college.
• 14:21
  Speaker 14: In the grand scheme of things.
• 14:22
  Speaker 19: Not a lot of people graduate college because they can't
• 14:25
  Speaker 19: afford to.
• 14:25
  Speaker 6: I've been blessed in that regard.
• 14:28
  Speaker 19: So I feel like I need to celebrate on a
• 14:30
  Speaker 19: thousand no expensive spare that whole vibe. And I don't
• 14:38
  Speaker 19: feel like that's a crazy ask. I feel like after
• 14:40
  Speaker 19: a few years of putting my head.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Down, working hard and getting a degree.
• 14:44
  Speaker 19: From Morehouse College, I deserve a Louis Vatant sweater or something.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: But yeah, that's all I got for y'all today.
• 14:52
  Speaker 19: So next time, there's been that boy Trey and this
• 14:54
  Speaker 19: has been my life on the yard inside look at
• 14:56
  Speaker 19: HBC's life.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Trace. I'm a DLHUI show