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Narcissists learn and pick up things from you that they use later · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So what a lot of people don't realize is that narcissistic
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  people learn from you. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  In today's episode, y'all, we're talking about just that, how you
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  teach the narcissist like you and life, life in general
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  becomes the narcissist biggest teacher.
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  Like how narcissist learn from y'all.
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  And this is me being realistic, narcissists learn from you.
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  They they just do. Like a lot of people see
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  narcissists treating the next person better.
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  What do, what do y'all think they got that from?
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  Where do you think they got the knowledge to treat somebody else
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  better than they treated you? Because typically, typically,
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  typically is the Greek God of maybe.
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  Typically what happens is they give the new person, the new
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  supply. Everything that you've been
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  asking for, right? Everything that you've been
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  begging for, everything that you've been pleading for,
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  everything that you've gotten out of your hands and knees and
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  just begged them to do they do you see what I'm saying?
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  Like they they give to the next person because they learn it
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  from you. They know it works.
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  They know it works. I told this to people all the
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  time. Narcissistic people typically
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  lack identity. Like we don't know who we are,
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  like we really struggle with who we are in the long run and in
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  the short run, just overall, we have an internal and external
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  identity crisis going on, right? So with the fact that we have
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  this, this crisis going on inside of us, it leads to the
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  fact that a lot of narcissistic people learn from you or who we
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  need to be. Like, I tell this to people all
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  the time, even me a few years ago.
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  Even right now, what you see right now, the person you see
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  right now, is an accumulation of all the personality, personality
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  traits and characteristics that I've either either admired in
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  other people or I've been jealous of from other people.
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  That's that. That's literally how my mind
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  works. That's like how my mind works,
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  how things are going, you know, It's just the simple, the
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  simplicity of the simplicity, simplicity of it all right
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  there. And that's how my mind works,
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  you know, it's just like I take, I see what other people are
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  doing and I like it, or I'm jealous of it and I add it to
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  me. I learn from you, you teach me.
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  And this is just doesn't have to be in an intimate relationship.
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  This is, this can be outside of you, or this can be me learning
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  from my friends, me learning from my family members, me
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  learning from other people around me that have accomplished
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  certain similar things, that have done similar things that
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  have been through similar things.
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  This happens to a lot of people. Y'all it's in just in that space
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  where this happens to a lot of people.
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  Like I learned from you, the narcissistic person learns from
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  you like you give them. Like, This is why I tell people
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  like in the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist,
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  you give them the blueprint to become who they need to be to
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  get you. Like in one of my previous
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  videos, you hear me talking about when a narcissist sends
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  their representative to meet you.
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  That's what I mean. They send the representative to
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  meet you, to become who they need to be.
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  I show me who I need to be to get you to fall for me.
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  Show me who I need to be to get you to love me.
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  Show me how. Who I need to be to get you to
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  be my person. Show me.
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  And during this stage, I'm going to do a lot of things that I
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  might not even want to do. I really don't want to do a lot
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  of this stuff. But I'm going to do it because I
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  want you. Because I want you in my life.
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  Because I need you as part of my life.
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  Because I need you as part of my life.
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  My dynamic and part of my struggle.
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  I need it. I need it.
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  That's part of who I am. That's part of what I need to
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  do. That's part of what I've become
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  like. Give me, give me an identity.
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  It's like you teach them y'all. That's why I said stop being
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  their teacher. You had like classes out of
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  session. Stop being their teacher.
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  When you go out here into the new, like if you getting out of
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  relationship with a narcissist or types of person and you
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  trying to live your life to the fullest extent, stop being their
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  teacher. You know you're no longer their
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  teachers. We're no longer teaching anybody
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  anything. You got to learn like show me
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  who you are. Show me who you are first before
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  I show, Before I share any of my any of my intimate details about
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  my life. Show me who you are.
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  Make them reveal themselves before you start revealing
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  yourself completely and putting everything about your life out
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  on out on the table. That's why people ask you on a
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  first date. What are you looking for in a
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  significant other? What are you looking for in a
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  man? What are you looking for in a
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  woman? What are you looking for in a
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  person? Don't give y'all.
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  Don't tell them to specific details because that's literally
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  you might as want to write it down, or you might as well
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  deliver your heart on a platter to this person.
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  Because if they like you or they're attracted to you,
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  they're going to become whoever you looking for.
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  That's why there's such an A simplistic question.
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  That's why there's such a manipulative question.
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  What are you looking for in a person?
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  What are you looking for in a significant What are you looking
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  for in a person that. What are you looking for in a
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  marriage partner? What are you looking for in a
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  life partner? There's such a manipulative
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  question. Y'all.
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  It is crazy. It is crazy how manipulative
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  that question is right there. But people fall.
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  I'm not in this is not been trying to chastise anybody.
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  People fall for it. Why wouldn't they?
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  Y'all. Why wouldn't people fall for it?
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  Because it's a good, it's a actually a good, pretty good
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  question. It's open-ended.
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  It makes you think. It makes you think that the
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  other person is interested in you, doesn't it?
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  It makes you feel like the other person is interested in you.
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  That's part of the space, That's part of the dynamic.
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  They make you think that they are interested in you by saying
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  this type of stuff, by doing this type of stuff.
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  They put this, they put the feelers out there for you.
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  So they like, if you're interested in me, I got you, I
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  got you now. Did you teach them?
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  Y'all, stop giving in the blueprint.
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  Put it. Look, even if you are teaching
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  in real life, because some of y'all might be teachers.
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  Like Lee, I'm a college professor.
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  Lee, I teach middle school. Lee, I'm a preschool teacher.
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  You're not teaching your partners.
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  Because if it gets to the point where you feel like you're a
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  parenting your partner, then they're taking advantage of you.
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  They are emotionally immature, or they're just intended, or
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  they're being. What's the word?
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  I use this word all the time. I use this word all the time,
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  and as soon as I need it, I can't think of it.
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  I use it when I don't need it. It's a weaponized, weaponized
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  incompetence. That's what it is.
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  They pretend they don't know how to do stuff because you you know
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  how to do it better, you weaponized.
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  Weaponized incompetence is a real thing, yo.
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  It absolutely is. So if you're dealing with a
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  narcissist or a tax person or whoever this is, what's going to
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  happen, Yo, stop being their teacher.
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  You're not a You might be a teacher, but you're not their
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  teacher. Make them earn your information.
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  Because up front, they make you like you're being realistic.
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  Yeah, they make you feel like you're teaching them.
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  Like you teach them. All of a sudden, they're doing
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  everything that you want them to do.
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  They're doing. They're being everything that
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  you want them to be. All of a sudden they they're
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  they're being your significant other that you've been praying
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  for because you told them you prayed for them, but then you
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  told them they are not answering your prayers.
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  They're just listening to your thoughts and they're just
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  listening to your words. This is not the answer to your
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  prayers. This is just a listener of your
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  words, a manipulative devil. They didn't hear your prayer.
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  They heard you say it out loud. This person did not hear your
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  prayer. And that's what happens.
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  Y'all slow it down, slow. That's why I tell people slow
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  down. Because, like in narcissist, as
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  they move on from relationship to relationship, they gather
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  more Intel. They become better manipulated,
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  better manipulators. Most of them, some of them y'all
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  don't care. Like, just be realistic.
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  Some of them don't care what they do, what they have going
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  on, who they're outing, who they're exposing.
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  They do not care, you know, Some of them get into that space
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  where they they really don't care.
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  Y'all And that's why I tell people like you, if you fall
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  into this dynamic or you fall into this trap with a narcissist
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  or a tax person, this is who you this is what you have to deal
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  with. You know, at the end of the day,
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  this is what and who you have to deal with.
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  Like don't fall into the trap, the manipulative trap, the
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  manipulation trap, because they're going like they're going
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  to see like you like this one. Tell people to turn off the
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  narcissist TV. Because if they are looking
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  forward to someone else, right, if they're looking forward in
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  the future, and if you're watching them treat somebody
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  else better than they treated you, it's going to get into your
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  head. If you're watching them give
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  somebody else whatever you asked for that's going to get into
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  your head. Because yeah, why wouldn't it?
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  Why wouldn't this stuff get into your head?
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  Why wouldn't this stuff mess with your head?
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  Why wouldn't this stuff mess with your thought process?
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  Why wouldn't it? Because you.
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  Because the the the only reason they know how to give somebody
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  else what they want and need. Because they got it from you.
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  They learned it from you. And maybe the reason they gave
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  you whatever you wanted to need it, they learned it from you.
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  But they also gave you everything that their ex was
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  asking for. You might have been the
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  narcissist new supply. You might have.
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  You know life becomes, and I know other people.
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  People that are not narcissists also learn from their mistakes
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  and become and become better people.
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  You treat. You learn to treat the next
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  person better from your mistakes of the past.
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  Narcissists learn to manipulate people better from their
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  mistakes of the past. You said that's the difference.
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  I know people just hear me say that and it's like Lee, that's a
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  blanket statement because all people do that.
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  Yes, most people do that. You learn from your mistakes.
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  Intent matters. I just feel like that's what
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  blows people's minds when I say this.
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  Intent matters. Like the intent behind the
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  action actually matters to solving the issue, to solving
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  the problem. The intent behind the action is
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  what actually matters is what actually is.
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  Your goes into it and what not the intent behind the action.
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  That's why. That's why I tell people just
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  like you have to be the one to empower yourself on this journey
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  you do. That's part of you.
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  Because in turn out like if you see them treating the next
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  person better, just understand that that's a manipulative
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  action and that's how it's going to go.
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  That's the mindset, that's the dynamic, that's the the push
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  behind everything. Yeah.
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  So you have to empower yourself on this journey and not be their
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  teacher. And if you see them using what
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  they learn from you on somebody else, y'all control what you can
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  control. Because the narcissist new
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  supply, they probably won't listen to you.
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  They might not listen to you even if you present the
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  evidence. Even if you pop up on them, even
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  if you pop up on their porch, some of them might not listen.
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  But I know, I know some of y'all feel like, well, Lee, I have to
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  try. Tell me I might not listen to
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  some of them might not listen some of y'all, some of y'all
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  might not listen to me, and some of them might not listen to you.
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  See how the psycho goes right there?
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  You don't listen to me. You tell them and then they
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  don't listen to you and you come back to me and then I don't
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  listen to you. So cycle now.
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  Joking. Anyway, Y'all.
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  Make sure you like to subscribe. Check out joining the channel
• 11:15
  memberships and make sure to tune into my live show every
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  single Thursday, 9:00 PM Eastern Standard Time.
• 11:19
  Waving the red flag. Show like and subscribe.
• 11:21
  Y'all mental illness is out. Peace.
• 11:24
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  Y'all. If you haven't already, make
• 11:28
  sure you hit that like and subscribe button so you don't
• 11:30
  miss any uploads. Turn on that notification bill
• 11:33
  as well. Thank you so much.
• 11:34
  See you later.