Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Narcissists can not take what they dish out
Transcript
- 0:00Narcissistic people, toxic people, narcissist cannot take
- 0:04what they dish out. And that is a that is 100% a
- 0:08fact. Out.
- 0:08If you knew here, my name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:10I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
- 0:12And welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code.
- 0:15Yeah, today's episode is about just that.
- 0:17Narcissistic people like, put out, like do the worst things to
- 0:22you, but when you match their energy, they can't, they
- 0:25literally can't take it. You know what I mean?
- 0:27So before we hop deep in today's episode, y'all make sure you
- 0:30check out my self love journal on Amazon.
- 0:33Y'all Lee Hammock I love me. A self love journal helps you
- 0:37rebuild that love, that self love and you know, authenticity
- 0:40after a toxic relationship space after dealing with a
- 0:43narcissistic person. But yeah, y'all yes yes yes.
- 0:47Hope you all like the new intro. I'm working on testing new
- 0:49intro. Send your intro suggestions to
- 0:52dearmentalillness@gmail.com. See, I'm open to the suggestions
- 0:56of my new on my intro. But yeah, but yeah, narcissistic
- 1:01people. We can't.
- 1:02We can't deal with this. One thing we cannot do
- 1:06narcissistic people. Narcissists hate it, hate it.
- 1:09Hate, hate, hate. It's that deep internal voice
- 1:13for the hate when you match our energy, when you do the same
- 1:19things to us that we do to you, we do not like it when you try
- 1:23to feed us, to give us a taste of our own medicine, so to
- 1:27speak. We hate it.
- 1:28We that we hate it. And that's how, you know, a
- 1:31narcissistic person knows that they are doing you wrong because
- 1:34if you do the same thing to them, they get angry, they get
- 1:37upset. They they have a they typically
- 1:40generally have a visceral reaction to what you, to what
- 1:44you have done to them. You.
- 1:45And you can just, yeah. And you can say, hey, you did
- 1:47the same thing to me, hey, you did the same thing to me.
- 1:51So I can't do it. It's a problem when I do it.
- 1:53It's an issue when I do it. But you can do it.
- 1:55You can do whatever you want to do, right?
- 1:57They're going to make it seem like it's a bigger, the bigger
- 1:59issue, it's your reaction. I mean, they're going to make it
- 2:02seem like what you did is worse some way, shape or form.
- 2:05That's just how it is. Y'all they're going to make it
- 2:07seem like no matter what you have done, no matter what they
- 2:10have done, what you did is worse.
- 2:14It doesn't matter. Y'all It doesn't matter if they
- 2:16cheated on you, right? If they cheated on you and then
- 2:21you cheat on them, you cheat back, which I don't recommend
- 2:23doing. Y'all I recommend you leaving.
- 2:25If you get cheated on and it hurts you so bad that you want
- 2:28to cheat back and match their energy, it might take you out a
- 2:31deep dark path, you know. But let's just say this for
- 2:34example, for example, let's just say you did.
- 2:37Let's just say you do want to get your lick back.
- 2:39You want to cheat back, and you do it and they find out about it
- 2:43and they get angry as hell at you.
- 2:44And you say, hey, you cheated on me first and they were like,
- 2:46well, you you probably be a bigger person.
- 2:48You probably be a better person than I am.
- 2:49I have my faults. I'm not what I I never said I
- 2:52was perfect. But you you you knew this would
- 2:54hurt me. I didn't know cheating on you
- 2:56would hurt you, but you knew this would hurt me and who you
- 2:59did it with. Oh my goodness, You downgrade.
- 3:01Oh my goodness. Y'all.
- 3:02They cannot dish they out. They don't want, they don't want
- 3:04to deal with it. They don't want to deal with it.
- 3:06And that's the like I said, that's not, I know a lot of
- 3:08people like. So that's how you correct their
- 3:11behavior. No y'all, it just becomes this,
- 3:14this is what happens. A lot of time we try to match
- 3:16it. Narcissist energy, like when you
- 3:18do the same things to them, y'all end up just going back and
- 3:21forth being toxic together and then then the lines get so
- 3:24blurry that nobody knows who act the actual narcissistic person
- 3:28is anymore. You can just say, hey, they
- 3:30cheated on me, but then you you're actively cheating, so you
- 3:33look like the lying cheated. You look like the liar in the
- 3:36cheater. You see what I'm saying?
- 3:37That's what I'm saying. Now don't compromise your
- 3:40integrity to match their energy. Yeah, I'm an ardent believer in
- 3:45seeking vengeance. Let me be because yeah, y'all
- 3:48know y'all been following me for long enough.
- 3:49Most of y'all have that. I'll be disingenuous if I did
- 3:53not say to tell you how I really felt.
- 3:55I'm going to match your energy. I have a person out.
- 3:58The disorder, I it. It it, yeah.
- 4:00It is so hard for me not to want to match your energy.
- 4:03When people do me wrong. Narcissistic people do me wrong,
- 4:06other people do me wrong. It sucks so bad.
- 4:08It yeah. I find it feels like there's a
- 4:11fire brewing within me, like there's a flame lit.
- 4:14It's like I'm sitting, you know, imagine you're sitting around a
- 4:18campfire with me, right. We've we're roasting s'mores.
- 4:21And then I sit on the campfire. Like, just just sit.
- 4:25I just plot my plot my ass down on the campfire.
- 4:28That's how it feels. It's like I got a It feels like
- 4:33I have a fire lit within me. Well, I need to seek vengeance,
- 4:36you know what I mean? I just do.
- 4:38That's why I was like, I'm an OR.
- 4:39I believe in seeking vengeance, but don't do it.
- 4:41Don't be like me y'all because I'm getting better at not not
- 4:44responding to people, not reacting to people and things
- 4:46like that. I'm getting better at that.
- 4:48I've been working on. Yeah, six years of therapy.
- 4:50I've been. Of course I've gotten better at
- 4:51that. So don't be like me, but it'd be
- 4:53disingenuous. It's just like, no, I don't
- 4:55believe that you should do that. Like, I I would seek.
- 4:57I would seek revenge, but don't be like me because I know it
- 5:00hurts. I know it hurts you.
- 5:01I've been on receive, I've been on.
- 5:03So I've dealt with narcissistic people before my own life.
- 5:05Y'all, yeah, I dated A narcissistic woman, but I've
- 5:09also had narcissists as best friends, narcissists as, like I
- 5:13said, significant other narcissist, narcissistic
- 5:16parental figures growing up. Like I had it in my life.
- 5:18So I understand the dynamic of wanting to match their energy,
- 5:21and I've matched plenty of narcissist energy in my life.
- 5:24It just doesn't make you feel good in the moment.
- 5:27Yeah, it makes you feel good right then and there.
- 5:28But again, later on, if that's not what you really wanted to
- 5:31do, if it brought you outside of your character, it makes you
- 5:34feel a certain type of way you might feel bad.
- 5:36Like, why did I do that? I don't compromise my own
- 5:38integrity. I've compromised my own life.
- 5:41I've compromised how I view the world just to get back at this
- 5:44toxic ass person. I hate that You know what I'm
- 5:46saying, But the narcissist. Oh, it's things.
- 5:48It's things when you do them like they can't take it.
- 5:50Yeah. I promise you it's things that
- 5:51hurt so bad. You want to hurt a narcissist?
- 5:53How do you hurt a narcissist? Lee, just tell us, how do you
- 5:57hurt them, How you hurt them. How you tell me how you hurt
- 5:59them. The easiest way to hurt a
- 6:00narcissist is the master energy to do the same thing they do to
- 6:04you. Of course.
- 6:04Moving on and having a glow up journey and do all the other
- 6:07stuff. Yeah.
- 6:08Does that work? Is that true?
- 6:09Yes, but the easiest way to hurt a narcissist, the most efficient
- 6:13way to hurt a narcissist, is literally just to match their
- 6:17energy. Do the same, just just, it's
- 6:18kind of like you playing tennis. Just hit the hit, the toxic
- 6:21tennis ball back into their court.
- 6:24That hurts them because a lot of times, y'all they most times
- 6:27they don't think you're going to do it.
- 6:29They don't think you have it in you to match their energy.
- 6:32They don't think you have it in you to do that type of stuff.
- 6:34So, yeah, they they don't think you have it in you.
- 6:37So they're going to take advantage of you.
- 6:38They're going to try to take advantage of you.
- 6:40They're going to try to say and do horrible things.
- 6:41So you they're just like, yeah, they're just out to get you.
- 6:44I promise you match their energy.
- 6:47They cannot take what they dish out.
- 6:49Oh, I didn't know they would hurt you look, so, so me going
- 6:54out with my friends and not turn them.
- 6:56So me, like I said, let's just say they go out with their
- 6:58friends, right? They turn their phone off.
- 7:00And then you, you, you say something to them when you say
- 7:03something to them when they get home at 3:00 in the morning,
- 7:06they're just like, well, you don't worry about me.
- 7:07Don't worry about me. Sometimes, like you, you keep
- 7:09trying to keep tabbing me. This will have my phone died,
- 7:11whatever, blah, blah, blah, Boo Boo, Boo, BBB.
- 7:13And then you go with your friends, you turn your phone
- 7:15off, They blowing you up. They come home, they crying,
- 7:18man, they are angry as hell at you because they know that they
- 7:21did you wrong. They know it would be an
- 7:23argument. They would know it would be a
- 7:24fight. But guess what?
- 7:25It's always different when it's you.
- 7:28It's always different when it's you.
- 7:30Narcissistic people cannot take me match the energy.
- 7:33Like if you made it this far, you're going to leave like a
- 7:35little firing mode. You could put a campfire joke on
- 7:37me earlier but of course. But like in these situations,
- 7:39just understand, like that's the easiest way to hurt a Narciss is
- 7:42just to do be them, do what they did to you.
- 7:45Of course, of course. Of course.
- 7:47I would be remiss in my, you know, my platform nowadays to
- 7:51say be careful, protect yourself, protect your peace and
- 7:56protect all of that because you have to.
- 7:58If you don't protect yourself, you end up getting hurt.
- 8:00In these situations, y'all you, you.
- 8:02If you don't protect your peace, they'll take away from you.
- 8:04Like I said, you have to be safe.
- 8:06Because if you don't be safe, I'm just telling you they will
- 8:08absolutely try to hurt you. They will try to harm you.
- 8:10They will try to do a lot of different things to you you mean
- 8:13to in order to just, you know, empower themselves.
- 8:17Don't, just don't, just don't get into an energy match and
- 8:19match with them. Y'all, especially when you're
- 8:21coparenting like this. Like I said, like this is not
- 8:24just about cheating and stuff like that.
- 8:25Staying out like this could be cope matching their energy when
- 8:27they when you're trying to coparent, like sometimes you
- 8:29don't want to stoop to their level.
- 8:31Y'all, if they show up an hour late to a meeting, a meetings
- 8:33like to the drop off and you show like you show up an hour
- 8:37late, they're going, they're going to be mad as hell.
- 8:39Like I said, matching their energy hurts their feelings.
- 8:42But again, once you match their energy it's like you're playing
- 8:44the game with them. It's like you're going back and
- 8:46forth playing tennis, like one hour late, one hour, 5 minutes
- 8:50like that. You don't double backhand 2
- 8:53hours like gotcha, you said. I'm saying then you overhand
- 8:56smash. Natural at all.
- 8:58The overhand smash in the coparent situation is not
- 9:02showing up at all. Yeah, so yeah, narcissist
- 9:05really, truly cannot take what we dish out.
- 9:07This is one of the it's like a design flaw.
- 9:10We cannot take what we dish out, and this is the absolute truth
- 9:13to it. Y'all.
- 9:14So just match their energy. That's the easiest way to hurt a
- 9:16narcissist. The easy way to get back to them
- 9:18is to literally do what they do to you.
- 9:20Like literally. That's the mindset.
- 9:22That's how it works and that's what people are going to do.
- 9:24But you like to say in your own power, in your own mind, you
- 9:29have to empower yourself. Because if you don't, you're
- 9:33going to, you know you're going to get is going to get hurt,
- 9:36you're going to get hurt. You just are anyway.
- 9:38Don't look, don't question, don't compromise your morals,
- 9:42compromise yourself to match the energy of a toxic person that
- 9:45hurts you. Because again, at the end of the
- 9:47day, you're going to compromise yourself.
- 9:49That's one of those things that you're going to end up
- 9:51compromising your own self, your own integrity, and you're going
- 9:53to question about who you are. And then other people see it.
- 9:56You're going to the narcissistic person could play the victim,
- 10:00they could get you on camera record, they could record you.
- 10:03They going to get you like y'all.
- 10:06They'll have people question whether or not you, the
- 10:08narcissist. Then they'll put it.
- 10:09What happens in these situations?
- 10:10They'll record you doing something.
- 10:12They'll record they, they will record you matching their energy
- 10:16and they'll put it on TikTok and go viral.
- 10:18And then everybody in the world will thank you.
- 10:19Toxic as hell. You see what I'm saying?
- 10:22Everybody will thank you, the toxic person.
- 10:24Everybody will thank you to narcissist.
- 10:25And then what can you do about it?
- 10:26Well they cheat on me first prove it.
- 10:29But they they are the 1 viral and there's no there's no
- 10:32guarantee that yours will go viral.
- 10:34You know, don't match their energy.
- 10:36You see what I'm saying? Don't match like it hurts.
- 10:38In Arsenal, especially energy matching matches.
- 10:42Once you match their energy one time, sometimes one time is all
- 10:44it takes is just to show you that.
- 10:45Show them that you're not playing the game.
- 10:47You know show them that you're not just the pushover.
- 10:50When you keep going it back and forth, back and forth, back and
- 10:52forth, back and forth, nobody really wins, Nobody really wins.
- 10:55It just becomes ultra toxic. Ultra toxic environment.
- 10:58Anyways y'all thank y'all tuning into another episode Y'all.
- 11:00I truly appreciate everything. One of y'all member remember
- 11:03dear mentalillness@gmail.com give me a short opening.
- 11:06Should I just say that the topic first short opening.
- 11:09I'm open like to subscribe for more Mental illness is out
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- 11:33well to help you rebuild that self love Lee Hammock.
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