Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - The Bird's Nest

Transcript

Hour 3 - The Bird's Nest · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Ding do playball. It's our nuber free as we lumber
0:06
Speaker 1: along on this Friday, the twenty first day of March.
0:10
Speaker 1: And here in our number three, all we talk about
0:17
Speaker 1: the story out of Toronto Baseball's regular season for everyone,
0:20
Speaker 1: beginning on Thursday of next week. Well, the Blue Jays
0:24
Speaker 1: blue Jays in position to lock up Vladimir Guerrero after
0:29
Speaker 1: contract talks turned down and went sideways. Believe it or not,
0:34
Speaker 1: we'll talk about that. Also, what does outfielder Alex Verdugo
0:37
Speaker 1: bring to the Atlanta Braves, the former Yankee, red Sock
0:40
Speaker 1: and Dodger headed to the atl And fill in the
0:43
Speaker 1: blank game we are told these sacrament Athletics are having
0:48
Speaker 1: only one beat writer in twenty twenty five is blank.
0:52
Speaker 1: The Sacrament Athletics having only one beat writer in twenty
0:55
Speaker 1: twenty five is blank. And we'll fill in the blank.
0:59
Speaker 1: All of that and more. Plus we'll have lame jokes
1:02
Speaker 1: of the week with our friend weed Man. Unless he
1:04
Speaker 1: shows it doesn't show up. It's all right here jump
1:06
Speaker 1: at the opportunity in our number three, hanging out in
1:13
Speaker 1: the birds nest. Yes, we are in the bird's nest.
1:17
Speaker 1: Wel come in the beginning of another hour of the
1:23
Speaker 1: Ben Malors Show. We are in the air everywhere as
1:28
Speaker 1: one that's right as one, waiting for the wind to
1:34
Speaker 1: shift coast, the coast, border, the order and beyond on
1:38
Speaker 1: the mast and unrealistically powerful microphones of FSR am mondating
1:45
Speaker 1: live from the change. Just that pocket change. We are
1:49
Speaker 1: the pocket change of radio, the overnight Shift. We're broadcasting
1:53
Speaker 1: live from the tyraq dot com studios tyract dot com.
1:56
Speaker 1: We'll help you get there in unmatched selection, fast, free shipping,
2:01
Speaker 1: free road hazard protection and over ten thousand recommended in
2:06
Speaker 1: stars ty raq dot com the way tire mind should be.
2:10
Speaker 1: I know Benito, the long suffering cowboy fan who did
2:12
Speaker 1: the day night doubleheader radio style, a big supporter of
2:17
Speaker 1: TI I Rak loves the round number, the number ten thousand,
2:21
Speaker 1: and it's actually over ten thousand, but we love round numbers,
2:24
Speaker 1: so we stopped at ten thousand. Now, the NCAA tournament
2:27
Speaker 1: is going on right now. We are more than welcome.
2:29
Speaker 1: You're welcome to call up and we can yap about that.
2:31
Speaker 1: We did a rant about it earlier. I normally don't
2:35
Speaker 1: do back to back rants and raves about the same
2:39
Speaker 1: discussion unless somebody dies or someone's traded. So we'll get
2:43
Speaker 1: back to that as we go through the overnight, and
2:46
Speaker 1: we'll have later this hour we're gonna have big men's
2:49
Speaker 1: lame jokes of the week, We'll have the Malord Riddle
2:52
Speaker 1: of the day. But we'll begin with baseball. That's right.
2:55
Speaker 1: The Dodgers magic number now is was it? One hundred
2:58
Speaker 1: and sixty? Their magic number? As they lead the way
3:03
Speaker 1: in baseball? Two games in the Doyers and the Cubs
3:07
Speaker 1: and the real opening day though, is coming up next week. Right,
3:11
Speaker 1: that was just a soft launch. Some interesting developments now
3:15
Speaker 1: that we are less than a week away from the
3:17
Speaker 1: start of the real baseball season. Out of all, no, ihew,
3:23
Speaker 1: I have not heard maybe not. With the fog of
3:26
Speaker 1: uncertainty surrounding Vladimir Guerrero Junior in his future with the
3:35
Speaker 1: Blue Jays, things have taken an encouraging turn. Or is
3:39
Speaker 1: it encouraging? Well, it depends on whether you believe the
3:42
Speaker 1: comments made by Mark Shapiro, not Ben Shapiro. Mark Shapiro,
3:47
Speaker 1: the president of the Toronto baseball team, who expressed confidence
3:54
Speaker 1: that the organization SEAN will lock up Vlattie to a
3:59
Speaker 1: contract acting session. Now Guerrero is entering his lame duck season.
4:02
Speaker 1: He's a lame bird in Toronto. He's in the final
4:06
Speaker 1: year of his contract. He said that he had closed
4:08
Speaker 1: off contract negotiations, and so despite the rumors suggesting that
4:14
Speaker 1: Guerrero Junior will explore free agency next year, the president
4:19
Speaker 1: of Baseball Ops, Mark Shapiro, made it clear that the
4:23
Speaker 1: Blue Jays are committed to locking Vladdie Guerrero Junior up
4:27
Speaker 1: long term in Toronto, and when asked about this to
4:31
Speaker 1: a state sponsored Blue Jay tow licker, Guerrero confirmed that
4:37
Speaker 1: though while he's not concerned with the negotiations, he did
4:40
Speaker 1: confirm that his agent is engaging with the baseball team
4:45
Speaker 1: there in Canada. And so this was supposed to be
4:47
Speaker 1: the player that was going to be traded this summer.
4:51
Speaker 1: Let us discuss the question. According to the Blue Jays,
4:54
Speaker 1: they are in position to lock up Vladimir Guerrero Jr.
4:58
Speaker 1: Believe it or not. So I've got Mazoo, windshield wipers
5:04
Speaker 1: and Wolf of Wall Street and we will combine all
5:09
Speaker 1: of these things together and we will give you the Blues.
5:12
Speaker 1: We're gonna give you the blues. So I'm a little annoyed.
5:16
Speaker 1: First of all, I'm a litt annoyed by this because
5:17
Speaker 1: this is the big ragou of the baseball trading season. Now,
5:23
Speaker 1: in terms of getting to the meat of the matter,
5:26
Speaker 1: the word I will use is ambivalent when it comes
5:28
Speaker 1: to this. The fact that the guy running the Blue
5:31
Speaker 1: Jays front office is a cock eyed optimist is not surprised.
5:35
Speaker 1: It's not surprising. You have to sell hope. You sell
5:38
Speaker 1: it by the pint, and even if it's false hope.
5:43
Speaker 1: Just like the milk and Canada that comes in the bag.
5:46
Speaker 1: You know, we get the milk in the cart and
5:47
Speaker 1: they get the milk in the bag. Guerrero is a
5:50
Speaker 1: popular guy. The Blue Jays are a bad team, but
5:54
Speaker 1: he's a good player on a bad team, and so
5:57
Speaker 1: you don't want to see him go to some of
5:58
Speaker 1: the other Yankees or the Red Sox or something like
6:01
Speaker 1: that if you're Blue Jafi. But ultimately, this is not
6:06
Speaker 1: this guy Mark Shapiro's call. That is an ownership situation.
6:11
Speaker 1: You either pay the man or you don't pay the man.
6:14
Speaker 1: So my vibe on this, my vibe is never wrong.
6:18
Speaker 1: My vibe is never wrong. My vibe is MISSOO show
6:24
Speaker 1: me state of mind. If the Blue Jays have the
6:28
Speaker 1: winning bid. It's a silent auction. You're the only ones
6:31
Speaker 1: allowed to bid. Guerrero's got a price. It's the buy
6:36
Speaker 1: now price. If you hit the buy now price, you
6:39
Speaker 1: get the player. And the deadline is sometime in July.
6:45
Speaker 1: The trade deadline, I believe is July thirty first, and
6:49
Speaker 1: so that is the date. That is the date where
6:51
Speaker 1: you have to either trade him or that's it. The
6:53
Speaker 1: better make it app and if you don't make it appen,
6:58
Speaker 1: you gotta trade him. You don't want to be like
7:00
Speaker 1: the Angels who held their guns and didn't trade Shoe
7:03
Speaker 1: a Otani and then watched him go thirty five miles
7:09
Speaker 1: up the road to Dodger Stadium and haunt the Halos.
7:14
Speaker 1: First thing, Artie Marino's bubble a right now. Secondly, we
7:18
Speaker 1: go to the transaction wire. Now in the state of Georgia,
7:22
Speaker 1: the Atlanta Braves making a move late spring roster. Addition,
7:28
Speaker 1: stories over the last ten days or so, why can't
7:31
Speaker 1: this guy get a job? I don't understand. Well, it
7:34
Speaker 1: turns out he now got a job. We're talking about
7:36
Speaker 1: Alex Verdugo Outfield, a former Red Sox, Dodgers the Yankees
7:42
Speaker 1: last year. So what does Alex Verdugo bring to the
7:47
Speaker 1: Atlanta Braves. So the answer is a warm body. That's
7:53
Speaker 1: what he brings to the Atlanta Braised. A warm body
7:55
Speaker 1: for Dugo has settled into his career. This guy was
7:59
Speaker 1: traded for move Bets. Dumb to dumb, dumb dumb, that's
8:03
Speaker 1: the song for the Red Sox front office. They traded
8:06
Speaker 1: Mookie Bets, Hall of famer, who's provided two World championships
8:11
Speaker 1: with the Dodgers, for alex Efen Verdugo. Now, Verdugo's played
8:16
Speaker 1: eight hundred big league games, exactly eight hundred regular season games,
8:20
Speaker 1: bouncing from LA to Boston to New York and now Atlanta.
8:24
Speaker 1: So you know what you're gonna get. You know, it's
8:29
Speaker 1: beta tested, it's proven. You are going to get a
8:35
Speaker 1: mediocre baseball player. That's it. You're gonna He's a jag,
8:41
Speaker 1: just a guy. He's a two to seventy two hitter.
8:44
Speaker 1: He was much worse than that with the Yankees last year.
8:47
Speaker 1: And he'll hit fourteen home runs that's his average, and
8:50
Speaker 1: driving around sixty runs and that's it. So the verdict
8:54
Speaker 1: is in Alex Verdugo is like windshield wipers. Okay, like
9:00
Speaker 1: windshield wipers replaceable. They wear out the cars in the
9:04
Speaker 1: bad weather, they wear out. You got to get new
9:06
Speaker 1: winshield wipers. Making one point five million, and I believe
9:09
Speaker 1: they've already sent him to the minor league camp. He'll
9:12
Speaker 1: he'll eventually be called up soon. But by baseball standards,
9:16
Speaker 1: if you're making one point five million, that's jump chain.
9:20
Speaker 1: That's jump chain. So Verdugo will end up in the
9:24
Speaker 1: atl shortly, but he's going to start the year in
9:27
Speaker 1: the suburbs of Georgia in the minor leagues. The Braves
9:31
Speaker 1: play that by the book, by the book. All right, now,
9:33
Speaker 1: final thought, We head now to media musings. Media Musings Department,
9:40
Speaker 1: State Fund at MLB dot com. Statefund at MLB dot
9:43
Speaker 1: com will be the only media outleague with a day in,
9:48
Speaker 1: day out beat reporter for the Athletics. Yeah, the A's
9:56
Speaker 1: are in Sacramento. Chew on that, so say major League
10:00
Speaker 1: Baseball team, and there will be only one reporter. That's it,
10:08
Speaker 1: one day in, day out reporter. So let's play the
10:11
Speaker 1: fill in the blank game. I love the fill in
10:15
Speaker 1: the blank game. So here's the fill in the blank game.
10:17
Speaker 1: The Sacramento Athletics having only one beat rider in twenty
10:25
Speaker 1: twenty five is blank. So I'll go first. My word
10:31
Speaker 1: is cass up blanca. Right. Hey, this is the reason
10:36
Speaker 1: it's casablanca is because you can have your cake and
10:39
Speaker 1: eat it too. You get paid a major League baseball salary,
10:43
Speaker 1: You get service time in Major League Baseball without all
10:47
Speaker 1: the hassles. Without all the hassles, you don't have to
10:50
Speaker 1: worry about being pestered like the players for the Yankees
10:54
Speaker 1: and the Red Sox and the Dodgers. You don't have
10:56
Speaker 1: those hassles. You know, one reporter working for a league
11:03
Speaker 1: run media outfit, which means the players on the Athletics.
11:08
Speaker 1: I'm not saying they're gonna do this, but if they
11:10
Speaker 1: wanted to, the athletic players this season could go like
11:14
Speaker 1: that iconic scene in the Wolf of Wall Street and
11:18
Speaker 1: play around with a bunch of hookers and cocaine. And
11:21
Speaker 1: it's not going to get reported because it's a negative story.
11:24
Speaker 1: And state sponsored MLB media does not report negative stories
11:27
Speaker 1: about their product. So that's my opinion. They don't do that. Now,
11:32
Speaker 1: playing in the minor league ballpark, Minor League ballpark in Sacramento,
11:39
Speaker 1: the team is so embarrassed by being in Sacramento. They
11:42
Speaker 1: have such shame. Every game is like the Walk of
11:46
Speaker 1: shan They don't want to admit that they're dating Sacramento.
11:48
Speaker 1: It's like a it's like a booty call situation. They
11:51
Speaker 1: don't want people to know about it. And even though
11:54
Speaker 1: Sacramento has a larger metro area then Pittsburgh or Baltimore,
12:01
Speaker 1: even San Diego and a bunch of other cities, doesn't matter.
12:06
Speaker 1: They don't want to admit it. They just got rid of,
12:07
Speaker 1: they erased. It's so embarrassing. It's embarrassing that weasel commissioner
12:12
Speaker 1: Rob manfraud allowed that to happen. The snake owner of
12:16
Speaker 1: the Athletics, who's moving the team to Vegas. Then the
12:18
Speaker 1: whole thing just stinks. If you're gonna be in Sacramento,
12:24
Speaker 1: you might as well honor the area. Now, I know,
12:26
Speaker 1: we have a guy that's a big fan of the
12:27
Speaker 1: show that hates Sacramento and he's stuck in Sacramento, and
12:30
Speaker 1: I get all that, But if you're gonna be there
12:33
Speaker 1: in as they say in the Marines, embrace the suck. Okay,
12:37
Speaker 1: embrace the suck. It is the Ben Mahler shows. We
12:43
Speaker 1: get right to the meat of the matter and if
12:45
Speaker 1: you'd like to be part eight seven seven ninety nine
12:48
Speaker 1: on Fox Got Lame Jokes of the Week coming up
12:50
Speaker 1: a little bit later, also on X at Bean Mahlor.
12:56
Speaker 1: That is at Ben Mahlor, if you'd like to be
12:59
Speaker 1: part of the program, will take your phone calls and
13:04
Speaker 1: comments and all of that time. Now for the malor
13:10
Speaker 1: Riddle of the day. And here's the Mallor Riddle of
13:14
Speaker 1: the day. You can answer this on X at Ben Maller,
13:17
Speaker 1: So don't disappear. That's at Ben Maller, And here's the
13:21
Speaker 1: riddle of the day. Actor and comedian Larry David set
13:26
Speaker 1: the record for the most expensive blank. Again. Actor and
13:32
Speaker 1: comedian Larry David's at the record for the most expensive blank.
13:37
Speaker 1: That is the malor Riddle of the day. The answer,
13:42
Speaker 1: we'll get to it and we will do it next.
13:46
Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
13:48
Speaker 2: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
13:52
Speaker 2: Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio.
13:54
Speaker 1: App Bell Miller and you. It is the Ben Maller
13:57
Speaker 1: Show up all night every night. We thank you for
14:04
Speaker 1: spending time with us. We know you have options, not
14:06
Speaker 1: good ones, and we are here to the early morning
14:09
Speaker 1: hours and on the weekends. Ben's got the Fifth Hour podcast.
14:13
Speaker 1: You can listen to that new episode dropping of that podcast.
14:17
Speaker 1: That's the Extra Crispy, Extra Spicy Pod. I'll be coming
14:21
Speaker 1: up later today, Ben and Danny, do you do that?
14:23
Speaker 1: You can hear the original recipe podcast later. You can
14:26
Speaker 1: interact over the live show. So if you're working third shift,
14:30
Speaker 1: just hanging out playing video games all night and you
14:33
Speaker 1: got into the Devil's lettue, whatever it might be, she
14:37
Speaker 1: just gotta go to the bathroom. We're here with you
14:40
Speaker 1: and interact. Sayalo to Ben at Ben mallor Lorraina if
14:47
Speaker 1: you want to hear fiery Loreina. We had fiery Loraina
14:51
Speaker 1: back in the first hour. But she's calm now. She
14:56
Speaker 1: got her Boosy's Merch Merch and sailor herb fsr Tech
15:02
Speaker 1: Queen and koubloop Ah broco fan, that's uh broco fan
15:09
Speaker 1: and those are the cast of characters on the show. Yeah,
15:15
Speaker 1: and now back back to it. Well, and actually, Bill,
15:20
Speaker 1: we got to pay off the Mallor Riddle of the day.
15:25
Speaker 1: That's right, the Malor Riddle of the day. This is
15:28
Speaker 1: the attempt to get you to listen a little bit longer. Thus,
15:32
Speaker 1: it's the mallor riddle today, And here is the riddle
15:34
Speaker 1: of the day. We go now to kind of a
15:37
Speaker 1: hybrid story. Actor comedian Larry David, guy that created Seinfeld,
15:44
Speaker 1: the show about Nothing, set the record for the most
15:47
Speaker 1: expensive blank. The most expensive blank, that is the mallor
15:54
Speaker 1: riddle of the day. And what is the answer to
15:57
Speaker 1: the riddle of the day. Let's see, is anyone know
16:00
Speaker 1: the answer? We go to the Great Unwashed and what
16:05
Speaker 1: do we have? Hair plugs? Guess by William Pigmy goats
16:09
Speaker 1: from Far Out Dave Late Night drug tester says the
16:12
Speaker 1: most expensive cameo shout out from Clipper Darryl's the answer,
16:18
Speaker 1: clam said a granny adult doll is the answer. Fergduck said,
16:27
Speaker 1: finished basement is the way to go andy in Line,
16:31
Speaker 1: Old Lakes, Minnesota said Larry David bought the most expensive
16:35
Speaker 1: hearing aids after listening to Screamin' Steven from North Dakota.
16:41
Speaker 1: That's about right. Yeah, I'm more at headphones. Chris and
16:46
Speaker 1: Kent Washington writes, and he says, ay, bedey, it's made
16:49
Speaker 1: of gold and adorned with diamonds. Adult diapers guessed by Fudgie.
16:55
Speaker 1: Alf the Alien Opiner says in autographed baseball, Well that
16:59
Speaker 1: actually that's not an autograph, Alf, the thing you sent me,
17:02
Speaker 1: I believe that is declining the value of the ball.
17:06
Speaker 1: That the ball, that's vandalism. What the person that signed
17:09
Speaker 1: that ball? That's vandalism. Who else do we have? Charm
17:14
Speaker 1: Charman Harmon Charman? That is that our Harmon that works
17:17
Speaker 1: on the Jason smithsher knows Charman Harmon anyway, not Mike Harmon,
17:22
Speaker 1: says baseball from harm in Wormtown. Okay, what else we have?
17:29
Speaker 1: It's a menora guessed by Milkman Mike in Colorado. Who
17:34
Speaker 1: else do we have? Overdue library book from digital space
17:37
Speaker 1: monkey Timothy in Northern Kentucky says a punching blind Scott
17:42
Speaker 1: in the face. Let's see potato kinish is the answer?
17:48
Speaker 1: From Stevine Meatballs Eke and Roseville, Minnesota one with the yamaka.
17:53
Speaker 1: Who else do we have? A most expensive hose from
17:56
Speaker 1: truck or Joe? A statue of Danny DeVito from Nick
18:00
Speaker 1: in Wisconsin. That's his answer? Who else? That's enough? Lorrainea, Yeah,
18:08
Speaker 1: I think he got one of those really expensive berries
18:11
Speaker 1: you know, like the the twenty dollars strawberries and one
18:13
Speaker 1: hundred dollars. Mellow, Oh, that's that scam market in Hollywood.
18:17
Speaker 1: They overcharge people for stuff and idiots go there and no,
18:20
Speaker 1: I get to pay more for a strawberry? Is that
18:21
Speaker 1: what it was? No? Turns out that actor comedian Larry
18:27
Speaker 1: David just set the record for the most expensive baseball
18:31
Speaker 1: card five Pops Series one baseball collection. His one one
18:38
Speaker 1: autograph card has sold that auction for over ten thousand dollars.
18:45
Speaker 1: Somebody spent over ten thousand dollars on a Larry David
18:48
Speaker 1: autograph baseball card from the good people over there at Tops.
18:53
Speaker 1: So try to top that. There you go, knock yourself out.
18:58
Speaker 1: Very nice trucker, Joe, he wrote, And he complain, He says,
19:01
Speaker 1: I feel like Coople Loop has gone soft on your
19:03
Speaker 1: mallard in the third degree. A lot of passes, a
19:06
Speaker 1: few fails outside of the one on today's show. But
19:09
Speaker 1: the nature Boy says, I thought your comment about the
19:11
Speaker 1: Lakers was spot on. You think Luca would have slowed down? Yeah,
19:15
Speaker 1: of course, not Nate, And you know the answer, nature Boy.
19:19
Speaker 1: But Cooper Loop can't handle the truth. He can't and
19:23
Speaker 1: the Lakers were absolutely crushed by the Milwaukee Bucks's a
19:27
Speaker 1: domination situation, an absolute domination situation. I's go to the phones.
19:33
Speaker 1: It is a call in show, so we should probably
19:35
Speaker 1: take a call and let's see any meaning. We do
19:38
Speaker 1: have lame jokes coming up a little bit. Let's say
19:39
Speaker 1: hello to Let's say hello to Jackson, who's in Galveston, Texas.
19:44
Speaker 1: Hello Jackson, welcome, Yes, thank.
19:47
Speaker 3: You, about twenty three years ago. Okay, this is a
19:51
Speaker 3: fun fact and it's involving the text tech game versus raight.
19:56
Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, say play the fun fact, Lorraine.
19:59
Speaker 1: It's a fun fact. Played a fun fact. Go ahead,
20:02
Speaker 1: fun fact, go ahead, Okay.
20:06
Speaker 3: Jeff Flenders the assistant coach for Texas Tech. He was
20:12
Speaker 3: the assistant for Emporie State University, which is one hundred
20:18
Speaker 3: miles up from which tak Kansas, in two thousand and
20:21
Speaker 3: two to two thousand and three. In two thousand and
20:24
Speaker 3: three and two thousand and four, then he left and
20:26
Speaker 3: went and worked with Grant McCaslin at the junior college level.
20:31
Speaker 3: How do I know this, I was on staff as
20:35
Speaker 3: a student assistant at em Poorie State University at the time.
20:39
Speaker 1: Ah Okay, so this is a fun fact for you.
20:44
Speaker 1: It's a fun fact, right.
20:45
Speaker 3: But also for this game and what's going on in
20:48
Speaker 3: college basketball right now?
20:50
Speaker 1: Are you? Are you beaming with pride right now?
20:53
Speaker 3: Well, I mean not so much with pride, but I
20:58
Speaker 3: it's hard for me to choose whose who to win?
21:01
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying? Well the well Ben McCollum
21:06
Speaker 3: two years later, became the assistant for.
21:13
Speaker 1: Old time time out, time out on the court, time
21:17
Speaker 1: out on the court. Let me sell you, Coople hoop
21:20
Speaker 1: do you find this a fun fact? Coop? Do you
21:23
Speaker 1: believe that this is a fun fact? Cooble hoop? No, Larina,
21:28
Speaker 1: do you think this is a fun fact? Are you
21:30
Speaker 1: enjoying this? It is a fact. Are you enjoying? Jackson
21:36
Speaker 1: in Galvason, I've had more fun than an old folks home.
21:39
Speaker 4: Ben.
21:40
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a shot, Jackson. Can you dress up the
21:43
Speaker 1: story a little bit? Can you add some fireworks and
21:45
Speaker 1: bells and whistles? Okay?
21:47
Speaker 3: You telling me the team from two thousand and two
21:50
Speaker 3: to two thousand and six. Okay, during that time, under
21:55
Speaker 3: a legendary coach of the NBA by the name of
21:58
Speaker 3: Doug mo his son, he David Moe who was the.
22:03
Speaker 1: Head Kurt Okay, I gotta go, thank you. I'm gonna
22:07
Speaker 1: go bang my head against the wall till the bleeds.
22:10
Speaker 1: I'll enjoy that more. But thank you. It's not it's
22:12
Speaker 1: not you, it's us. We're just bad talk show people.
22:16
Speaker 1: Not that I didn't want to do a deep dive
22:18
Speaker 1: on Texas tacting all that. Thank you, oh Man, Jed
22:26
Speaker 1: who fled wake me Up. Jed, Wake me Up? Jed
22:29
Speaker 1: who fled Wake me Up.
22:31
Speaker 4: Steve Avery, Randon putcher for the Braves, Ron j J. J.
22:37
Speaker 4: Pere batted for the Marriners. Other players played sports as
22:42
Speaker 4: they were on rosters from two thousand whenever to two
22:45
Speaker 4: thousand whatever.
22:46
Speaker 3: You know what we should have told this zero, something.
22:48
Speaker 4: Like the Alt Nines, the Alt five, you know what
22:51
Speaker 4: I mean?
22:51
Speaker 3: It was, it was. It was awkward during those times.
22:54
Speaker 4: Not as awkward as that last guys songe call. But
22:56
Speaker 4: I mean, god, I would never courage anyone to do drugs, dude,
22:59
Speaker 4: but you need to go ahead in your life and
23:00
Speaker 4: dedicate yourself to hard narcotics because you're a way to
23:03
Speaker 4: oral there.
23:04
Speaker 1: We can't we can't endorse that. Did you hear dogs call?
23:07
Speaker 1: Earlier from New York. Eat dog was non secular man,
23:10
Speaker 1: it's terrible, terrible, terrible.
23:13
Speaker 4: Did I didn't then? But but such as your talent
23:17
Speaker 4: with the with words that I understand? He's non sequitary man.
23:20
Speaker 4: The oil needs to be fitting, can you?
23:26
Speaker 3: Oh, dude?
23:27
Speaker 1: You know calling the laughter?
23:31
Speaker 4: I dude, man, I'm gonna give your ass away.
23:33
Speaker 3: You got the fourth period?
23:34
Speaker 2: You can bet that. Laugh at me like that?
23:36
Speaker 1: I mean you really you really don't know what? All right?
23:39
Speaker 2: Oh?
23:39
Speaker 1: Maybe not taking me? Hey, that's all right, No, I
23:43
Speaker 1: thought you knew you? Okay, Hey he was he was?
23:46
Speaker 5: He was a Yeah, he was a pe teacher, not
23:48
Speaker 5: an English teacher.
23:49
Speaker 1: Apparently not so a non sequar a didn't matter what
23:53
Speaker 1: you got.
23:53
Speaker 3: Thirty four?
23:54
Speaker 1: Okay, so thirty one? Can I can I get a word?
23:58
Speaker 1: In the hell is going on here? Crap? All right?
24:05
Speaker 1: So let explained, dummy. A non sequartor is if I'm
24:09
Speaker 1: talking about strawberries and all of a sudden in the
24:15
Speaker 1: conversation you say, you just randomly start talking about motorcycles
24:20
Speaker 1: without he just doesn't follow the same train of thought, right,
24:25
Speaker 1: It's it makes no sense. It's a non sequart or.
24:27
Speaker 1: It doesn't go with what we're talking.
24:29
Speaker 3: About, non non smart, non sequatur. It's part of the
24:34
Speaker 3: it's Latin.
24:38
Speaker 1: No, take a breath, Take a breath, Take a breath.
24:45
Speaker 1: Is that it?
24:45
Speaker 3: There?
24:46
Speaker 1: You go?
24:48
Speaker 4: Do you take a piece of math of mine?
24:51
Speaker 3: Keep me out there?
24:53
Speaker 1: Okay? Thank you? Do I need an emergency meeting with Andrea?
24:59
Speaker 1: Is there something on I don't know about it? Is
25:01
Speaker 1: there some kind of other cosmic event? I gotta pull
25:04
Speaker 1: out the Farmer's Almanac here and find out what the
25:07
Speaker 1: f is going on? Mean, may we're we're always off
25:11
Speaker 1: the rails on this, but this is like next level
25:13
Speaker 1: off the rails. What the f is going on?
25:19
Speaker 3: Man?
25:21
Speaker 5: All right?
25:21
Speaker 1: Well, I am a glutton for punishment. So we now
25:24
Speaker 1: go to the Leprechaun in Boston, calling early normally. He
25:29
Speaker 1: calls in the final hour and we say hello to
25:32
Speaker 1: Mike the Leprechaun, a real leprechaun who lives in the
25:35
Speaker 1: Boston area. Hello, Mike the Leprechaun.
25:38
Speaker 3: Top of the morning. If you're right, I'm not pres
25:40
Speaker 3: literal earlier than usual. Anyway, I would put the show
25:43
Speaker 3: back on the rail tracks, you know how I do?
25:46
Speaker 1: I will do that. I feel I don't think you're strong.
25:49
Speaker 1: I don't think you're strong enough. Are you strong enough
25:51
Speaker 1: to put the show back on the on the tracks?
25:54
Speaker 3: Well today the Joe Rainbow, Because there's pouring way in
25:56
Speaker 3: here in Boston. I want to ask here, are you
25:58
Speaker 3: going to workcown for the Legal Bees?
26:02
Speaker 1: I will not know until later on in the summer.
26:06
Speaker 1: That's up to the good people over there at NBC.
26:09
Speaker 1: If they pick up another season of the TV show,
26:11
Speaker 1: we will be back in Boston. And I promised our
26:15
Speaker 1: friends in Worcester. They said, they hook, I got you.
26:22
Speaker 1: There's a team called the Wu Socks, right, that's the
26:24
Speaker 1: Red Sox affiliate there in Worcester. Yeah, so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
26:30
Speaker 1: all right. So I was gonna go and hang out
26:34
Speaker 1: there and I think they and one of the guys said,
26:35
Speaker 1: in honor of Masshole Mickey, go out there and throw
26:38
Speaker 1: out the first pitch. I think Alf's gonna show up
26:41
Speaker 1: in some other famous callers or whatever. So, but that's
26:44
Speaker 1: only if they pick up the TV show. If not,
26:45
Speaker 1: then I'm not doing it. So it's up to them.
26:47
Speaker 3: I would bring up I would bring up Di from
26:49
Speaker 3: our local pool and Dot club, A really good Di.
26:53
Speaker 1: You're gonna bring what?
26:54
Speaker 3: What do you say, Lorena a musical.
27:00
Speaker 1: Oh you're bringing a band? Okay a band? Okay, d yeah, wonderful, great, outstanding. Yes,
27:08
Speaker 1: did Lorena put the picture up on her wall? But
27:12
Speaker 1: my artwork, Loraina is I think she's she's giving you
27:17
Speaker 1: this silent treatment. I'm sure you've had women in your
27:20
Speaker 1: life give you a silent treatment. Loraina is not to talk.
27:24
Speaker 3: You know what she reminds me of. It was two
27:27
Speaker 3: days ago devoted for the fish of the Year, and
27:30
Speaker 3: she reminds me of that fish of the year, the blobfish.
27:34
Speaker 1: Look up the blobfish. Well, that's not really help you.
27:37
Speaker 1: That's not You're not you're not gainy, you're not curring
27:42
Speaker 1: favor with our friend Lreena. Okay, she's she's ignoring you.
27:46
Speaker 1: She's refusing to even acknowledge your presence here.
27:50
Speaker 2: I will, I will, I'm gonna play to hold on?
28:01
Speaker 1: Am I getting punked? Whatever?
28:02
Speaker 3: On? What's going on? Okay? Happy Friday?
28:08
Speaker 1: Okay, go away? Thank you? Seriously did I miss something?
28:12
Speaker 1: Is this f with Mallard Knight on the show? Is
28:14
Speaker 1: this let's screw with the talk show host night?
28:17
Speaker 3: Like?
28:17
Speaker 1: Seriously? Like, what is what the hell is going on?
28:22
Speaker 1: I need answers, Lorena, I got nothing for you, Ben,
28:27
Speaker 1: you got nothing, Coop? Can you explain what's going on?
28:29
Speaker 1: I do know, total boondoggle. What I told Coop about
28:33
Speaker 1: this drug earlier. There's a new drug that's being missed
28:36
Speaker 1: in the drug It's called a trink. Maybe everyone's on
28:38
Speaker 1: the new trink drugs. It's not like it's not like
28:42
Speaker 1: that's just Coffer today, Like that's not new Lorena. Well,
28:47
Speaker 1: next hour she's going to talk about the this new
28:49
Speaker 1: thing called roofies, a new item that's just out there.
28:55
Speaker 1: And uh yeah, well apparently makes you go crazy.
28:57
Speaker 5: So maybe I think it's it's close to the weekend, okay,
29:03
Speaker 5: and the people that are still awake right now are
29:07
Speaker 5: just kind of delirious because they're almost there but not
29:09
Speaker 5: quite there.
29:10
Speaker 1: Okay, you can kind of feel the weekend, the vibrations, the.
29:14
Speaker 5: Like the professional normal people, they haven't woken up yet. Okay,
29:19
Speaker 5: so yeah, we'll get yeah exactly.
29:22
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Next hour is when the people that have jobs,
29:25
Speaker 1: you know, real jobs, that get because you've got a
29:27
Speaker 1: lot of East Coast people that get up early at
29:30
Speaker 1: that like five am. That's like get a real job. Yeah,
29:33
Speaker 1: eighty five percent of the world's work. The other fifteen
29:36
Speaker 1: percent come out here. It's a playground for the blank blanks.
29:39
Speaker 1: Overnight sports radio and uh yeah, you have no idea
29:43
Speaker 1: what that is, Lorena, right, you have no idea. No,
29:45
Speaker 1: never heard of it. It's one of the single greatest
29:46
Speaker 1: speeches of all time and in fact, if you can
29:50
Speaker 1: find it, it's in the system. This guy Lee Ilya,
29:53
Speaker 1: he was the manager of the Cubs. First name Lee
29:57
Speaker 1: l Ee and then E. L i A. And he
30:00
Speaker 1: had one of the all time great rants about the
30:02
Speaker 1: Cub fans. And I quote him, this goes many years ago.
30:07
Speaker 1: It's a lot of people got founded. Yeah, give me
30:10
Speaker 1: a little taste of this. Is Lee. You know, this
30:12
Speaker 1: guy was the manager of the Chicago Cubs.
30:14
Speaker 5: Short Lee Elliott.
30:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're the real Chicago fans.
30:18
Speaker 1: They can kiss my ass there you go. Well, that's
30:22
Speaker 1: just no. I need the I need the eighty five
30:24
Speaker 1: Oh you don't have the eighty five percent. That's that's
30:27
Speaker 1: a taste of it. It's on the YouTube. It's on
30:29
Speaker 1: the YouTube. It's right up there. Oh, here's the long one.
30:32
Speaker 1: You want the long one, Well, give me a little
30:34
Speaker 1: bit of it and we'll cut it off. When he
30:35
Speaker 1: gets to the eighty five percent, it is very long.
30:37
Speaker 3: So they are the real Chicago fans kiss my.
30:44
Speaker 1: Right on. Oh see that wasn't even that low. No,
30:49
Speaker 1: maybe it's.
30:49
Speaker 3: This one was working.
30:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, I come out here. Yeah, Clay Blanke, that's it.
30:57
Speaker 1: That's it. That's the drop right there. It's all time,
31:01
Speaker 1: one of the all time good drips, like.
31:04
Speaker 5: The one where but where I don't know who the
31:08
Speaker 5: manager is, but when they were throwing trash on the
31:10
Speaker 5: field and he.
31:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, we tried about the Bengals coach. Yes, yeah, Sam,
31:17
Speaker 1: why she's dead now, but Sam one, you don't live
31:19
Speaker 1: in knock, you don't live in Cleveland, knock it off. Yeah, uh,
31:28
Speaker 1: that was that was pretty good. How about our guy
31:29
Speaker 1: Jim Moore that used to work here and we couldn't
31:32
Speaker 1: do Diddley Pooh on offense and that was a disgraceful perform.
31:37
Speaker 1: And there has been so many of those great rants
31:40
Speaker 1: over the years, just so many, but lee Ia is
31:43
Speaker 1: the is the gold standard. And a lot of these
31:46
Speaker 1: guys have worked at our shop over the years. Dennis
31:48
Speaker 1: green Lake, coach of the Cardinals. You know, crown them,
31:52
Speaker 1: crown their asses, but they are we thought they were
31:55
Speaker 1: and we let them off the hook all time. Gre
31:58
Speaker 1: do we have weed man by the ways he he there?
32:01
Speaker 1: Oh good, Okay, we'll pause for the cause. We've got
32:03
Speaker 1: Big Ben's lame jokes of the week, and that is
32:07
Speaker 1: right around the corner. But be sure, and this is
32:11
Speaker 1: very important, be sure to support our friends over Tractor Supply.
32:14
Speaker 1: Tractor Supply knows that a winning season takes practice, teamwork,
32:17
Speaker 1: and he can do attitude. Thankfully. I know, scream and
32:21
Speaker 1: Stevens yelling as I'm talking about this. When you have
32:24
Speaker 1: a neighbor like Tractor Supply, teamwork comes easy. Whether you're
32:28
Speaker 1: caring for pets, chickens or a few wakers. Our team,
32:32
Speaker 1: our team members will help you succeed season after season.
32:37
Speaker 1: Tractor Supply for life out here. Big Ben's lame jokes
32:41
Speaker 1: of the week. We'll get to it. We'll do it next.
32:43
Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
32:45
Speaker 2: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
32:48
Speaker 1: Bill Miller and you, it is the Ben Mahler Show,
32:54
Speaker 1: and you are locked in right now. Lame Jokes of
32:57
Speaker 1: the Week coming up in a moment. But shortly after
33:00
Speaker 1: the Ben Malor Show, the podcasts would be going up.
33:03
Speaker 1: You missed any of the overnight show, be sure to
33:07
Speaker 1: check out the podcast just search malor wherever you get
33:10
Speaker 1: your podcast Be sure to follow, rate and review the
33:12
Speaker 1: podcast five stars, and don't forget to listen to the
33:17
Speaker 1: fifth hour podcast later today as well a bonus podcast
33:21
Speaker 1: only edition. But just search mallor wherever you get your podcasts,
33:25
Speaker 1: you'll see the latest episode posted right after we get
33:30
Speaker 1: off the air. It's amazing.
33:33
Speaker 2: Knock knock, who's there?
33:35
Speaker 1: Blame week, Blame we too. It's Big Man's lame joke
33:39
Speaker 1: of the week and nore we go out, time out,
33:45
Speaker 1: Poor big Man's lame jokes a week. You're actual jokes
33:47
Speaker 1: by actual listeners. Hello weed Man, Hello weed Man, I
33:51
Speaker 1: love you. Did your roommate come back? Yeahortunately oh no
33:59
Speaker 1: your wait? All right, let's get to the jokes and
34:04
Speaker 1: thanks to everyone that wrote these jokes. Send them in
34:07
Speaker 1: for next week. Care of Benmatlers Show at gmail dot com.
34:11
Speaker 1: That's Ben Malers Show at gmail dot com. Did you
34:15
Speaker 1: know that Lizzo is suing Vince McMahon over the Wwe
34:21
Speaker 1: know why? Yeah, apparently she tried to use the name
34:25
Speaker 1: Worldwide Eating and you know, tied up in Litigan as
34:30
Speaker 1: Georgia Uvalde, Texas. What are Lizzo's favorite parts of March Madness?
34:36
Speaker 1: What the round of sixty four? And she loves the
34:40
Speaker 1: Sweet sixteen? Big fan? That's Eric in Kansas. What happened
34:49
Speaker 1: the last time Lizzo went out for Korean barbecue? What
34:54
Speaker 1: she brought home? A doggie bag? A doggie? Wow?
35:00
Speaker 3: Sir?
35:00
Speaker 1: For Todd the comedian. All right, Lizzo was so excited
35:06
Speaker 1: by her recent weight loss that she she didn't know,
35:09
Speaker 1: she didn't know whether to go to the bathroom or
35:13
Speaker 1: go blind?
35:14
Speaker 3: Wow.
35:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, so she farted and closed one eyes. What she did?
35:18
Speaker 1: That's a Dan in South Carolina? Thank you Dan? All Right?
35:24
Speaker 1: How does Lizzo plan on getting to the moon? How
35:29
Speaker 1: space x x x x x x xx l is
35:32
Speaker 1: how she's gonna get to That's a Drew Drew in Minnesota.
35:38
Speaker 1: How does Lizzo like her Tater Todds? Buy the bag?
35:44
Speaker 1: Buy the bag. That's a free long shot from La Masa,
35:48
Speaker 1: San Diego Way, our buddy, free long shot. Why is
35:51
Speaker 1: Lizzo a fan of board Ops?
35:54
Speaker 3: Why?
35:55
Speaker 1: Well, she loves Mary's Mac and sheese a big fan there.
35:59
Speaker 1: That's how about Mary? She's only been on the show
36:05
Speaker 1: a couple of days and she's already getting jokes written
36:07
Speaker 1: about her by buttermilk Cavo. Well, what else is lost
36:11
Speaker 1: beside weed man hippies? Teeth? What his desire to work?
36:20
Speaker 1: That's a buttermilk tavo again Big Ben's lame jokes of
36:24
Speaker 1: the week. What is the best thing about being weed
36:26
Speaker 1: man hippie? What if you get punched in the mouth,
36:31
Speaker 1: you won't lose any teeth. That's a eg in Roseville, Minnesotah. Okay,
36:41
Speaker 1: what is thank you queen obvious? What is the difference
36:44
Speaker 1: between the Dyer's and weed Man's underwear?
36:48
Speaker 3: What?
36:50
Speaker 1: According to Tony the Bay Area, the Dodgers are the
36:52
Speaker 1: evil Empire, weed Man's underwear is just evil. So how
37:00
Speaker 1: is weed man hippie? Like a bad soccer team?
37:04
Speaker 3: Wow?
37:05
Speaker 1: No goals, no goals, that's surfer Todd the comedian did here?
37:14
Speaker 1: Weed Man got a call from a Hollywood star. He's
37:19
Speaker 1: gonna be a new version of a McCaulay culkin classic.
37:23
Speaker 1: How about that?
37:24
Speaker 3: Wow?
37:24
Speaker 1: Home alone? No, No, it's homeless alone. It's what they're
37:28
Speaker 1: calling it. It's a spinoff. That's Dennis in Detroit. Come on, No,
37:33
Speaker 1: that's homeless. I know, all right. Did you know that
37:35
Speaker 1: Lizzo and weed Man Hippie had a snack company that
37:39
Speaker 1: was shut down?
37:40
Speaker 3: Wow? No?
37:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, apparently it was just too high in fat, so
37:45
Speaker 1: they got Timothy. Timothy and Northern Kentucky set that one in.
37:50
Speaker 1: You got any jokes over there? Kobaloop uh been.
37:54
Speaker 5: Did you hear that weed Man hippie got arrested for
37:57
Speaker 5: public nudity?
37:58
Speaker 1: I missed that.
38:00
Speaker 5: Yeah, the cops took him to small claims court.
38:07
Speaker 1: That's from Benny Brightside.
38:08
Speaker 5: You can send your inappropriate jokes to Ben mallerproducer at
38:11
Speaker 5: gmail dot com.
38:12
Speaker 1: Okay, did you know the young weed Man hippie helped
38:15
Speaker 1: to invent the toothbrush?
38:17
Speaker 2: No?
38:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, because if anyone else had invented it, it would
38:20
Speaker 1: have been called the teeth brush. That's George and yourvolved
38:23
Speaker 1: in Texas. Did you did you hear that weed Man
38:27
Speaker 1: is starting a homeless comedy troupe? Wow? No, yeah, it's
38:33
Speaker 1: called the Sleeping on the Groundlings is what it's called.
38:36
Speaker 1: That's Eric Eric in Kansas. Set that one in. What
38:40
Speaker 1: do weed man? What does weed man do when his
38:44
Speaker 1: roommate is around? In college basketball? What do they all
38:47
Speaker 1: have in common. What March madness? There you go, March madness.
38:52
Speaker 1: What What do weed man in the Miami heat have
38:56
Speaker 1: in common? What when Tracy Morgan and has to look
39:00
Speaker 1: at either one he vomits. That's an Eric in Kansas.
39:05
Speaker 1: Very nice, it's big fangs. Lame jokes of the week.
39:09
Speaker 1: Let's see one more. What takes longer than help a
39:11
Speaker 1: Manda shower? We man eating corn on the cob. That's
39:16
Speaker 1: chipping Maine. A very funny