Latest / The Comeback Career Podcast with Fexingo: Returning After a Gap, Stay-at-Home Re-Entry / How to Use a Career Gap to Build a Personal Board of Directors
Transcript
- Lucas: You know the phrase 'it takes a village' — we usually apply it to raising kids, but I've been thinking about it in the context of a career comeback. Luna: A village for your job search? I like that. Lucas: Exactly. The idea is that when you're returning after a gap, you don't need one superhero mentor. You need a small, intentional group of people who each play a different role. I call it a personal board of directors. Luna: So like a corporate board, but for your career? Lucas: Precisely. A corporate board doesn't run the company day-to-day — they advise, challenge, and hold the CEO accountable. Your personal board does that for you. And it's especially powerful when you've been out of the workforce and feel like you're flying solo. Luna: Right, because when you're home with kids or on a break, you lose that built-in professional community. Colleagues, industry events, casual coffee chats — they all disappear. Lucas: Exactly. So you have to deliberately rebuild that network. But the mistake a lot of people make is they try to find one person who can do everything — give career advice, make introductions, pump up their confidence. That's asking too much of one person. Luna: And then when that person can't deliver on all fronts, you feel let down. Lucas: Right. So the board approach distributes the load. I want to share a story that really brought this to life for me. A woman named Maria — former marketing manager at a midsize consumer goods company. She took five years off to raise twins. When she decided to go back, she felt completely lost. Luna: I can imagine. Five years in marketing is an eternity — the tools, the platforms, the strategies all shift. Lucas: Exactly. She told me she spent three months just updating her LinkedIn and feeling paralyzed. Then a friend suggested she think about it like building a startup — you need a board. So Maria identified three people. Luna: Who did she pick? Lucas: First, a former colleague from her old job — someone who had seen her at her best, who could vouch for her skills and remind her what she was capable of. Second, a neighbor who worked in HR at a different company — someone who could give her the inside scoop on how hiring actually works now, what recruiters look for on resumes, how to navigate applicant tracking systems. Luna: So one cheerleader and one insider. What was the third? Lucas: A friend from a professional marketing association she used to be active in. This person wasn't a close friend, but they were plugged into the local industry scene. Maria's ask was simple: 'Can we grab coffee once a month and can you let me know about any events or job openings you hear about?' Luna: So she had accountability, practical advice, and a window into the job market. Lucas: Exactly. And none of these people had to carry the whole burden. The former colleague sent her a LinkedIn recommendation without being asked. The HR neighbor reviewed her resume and told her to swap out her objective statement for a summary. The association friend invited her to a panel event where she ended up meeting the hiring manager for a role she eventually got. Luna: That's a great example. So how do our listeners build their own board? Where do they start? Lucas: Step one is to think about the roles you need filled. I'd suggest three or four distinct seats. Seat one: the Validator — someone who knows your past work and can reaffirm your skills. Seat two: the Insider — someone currently working in your target industry or function who can give you the lay of the land. Seat three: the Connector — someone who's well-networked and can open doors. Luna: And maybe seat four: the Accountability Partner — someone who checks in on your progress, even if it's just a weekly text. Lucas: Yes, absolutely. In Maria's case, the association friend doubled as a connector and accountability partner. You don't need four separate people if one can play two roles. Luna: So how do you actually approach someone to be on your board? Because that feels awkward — 'Hey, will you be on my personal board of directors?' Lucas: You don't use that language. It's too formal. You say something like, 'I'm planning my return to work and I'd really value your perspective. Would you be open to a thirty-minute call once a month for the next few months?' Most people say yes, especially if you're clear about what you're asking and why you chose them specifically. Luna: And you have to be specific about the ask. Not just 'can we chat about my career' but 'I'd love your thoughts on how to frame my gap years on my resume' or 'I'm curious what skills are most in demand for a marketing manager role right now.' Lucas: Exactly. The more targeted, the easier it is for them to help. And here's the key — it has to be reciprocal. You're not just taking. You should be thinking about what you can offer in return. Luna: But if you've been out of work, what can you offer? You might feel like you have nothing to give back. Lucas: You have more than you think. Maybe you're really good at organizing — you could help your board member plan an event. Maybe you have a skill from your caregiving years — patience, crisis management, budgeting. Or maybe you just offer genuine gratitude and a willingness to pay it forward when you're back on your feet. Luna: That's a good point. And I think a lot of people underestimate how much a simple 'thank you' and an update on your progress means to a mentor. Lucas: Absolutely. People like to feel that their advice made a difference. So send a note when you land an interview, and especially when you get the job. Luna: Let's talk about how this differs from traditional networking. Because I think some listeners might say, 'Isn't this just networking with a fancy name?' Lucas: It's related but different. Networking is often broad and transactional — you collect contacts, you exchange business cards, you hope something sticks. A personal board is intentional and relational. You're not trying to talk to fifty people. You're curating three or four who you'll invest in and who will invest in you. Luna: So it's quality over quantity. Lucas: Exactly. And it's long-term. You don't dissolve the board once you get a job. You might change the composition, but the relationships endure. Maria still talks to her board members years later — some have become genuine friends. Luna: That's the ideal outcome. So for someone listening right now who's thinking about returning to work, what's the first concrete step they should take today? Lucas: Grab a piece of paper or open a note on your phone. Write down three names — people you already know who fit the roles we discussed. Don't overthink it. Maybe it's a former boss, a colleague from five years ago, a friend from your parenting group who works in your field. Just three names. Luna: And then what? Lucas: Then draft a short message to one of them. Keep it low-pressure. Something like, 'Hi, I'm starting to plan my return to work after my career break, and I'd really value your insight. Would you be open to a quick call next week? I'm especially interested in.' Send it. Luna: And if they say no? Lucas: Then you move to the next name. But honestly, most people say yes. It's flattering to be asked for advice, and you're not asking for a job — you're asking for perspective. That's an easy yes. Luna: I think this framework is really empowering because it shifts the focus from 'I need to find a job' to 'I need to build a support system.' Lucas: That's exactly it. And the support system makes the job search less lonely and more strategic. Luna: Quick honest thing — a handful of listeners chip in monthly through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, and that's literally what funds making episodes like this one. If this show has helped you think through your career comeback, that's where you can keep it going. Lucas: Yeah, it's a small community that makes this possible. No ads, no corporate sponsor — just listeners who find value and want to sustain it. We appreciate every single one. Luna: Anyway, back to building your board. Lucas, one thing I want to circle back to — how do you handle the frequency of check-ins? Because you don't want to burn out your board members. Lucas: Great question. I suggest a cadence of once a month for the first three months, then you can taper to once a quarter. And always ask them what works for them. Some people prefer a quick email update, others like a fifteen-minute call. The key is consistency without being demanding. Luna: And if you find that one of your board members isn't really engaging, it's okay to replace them. It's your board. Lucas: Absolutely. You're the CEO of your career. Your board works for you. If someone isn't adding value, thank them for their time and let them go. No hard feelings. Luna: I love that this model gives people a sense of agency during a time that can feel really disempowering. Lucas: That's the whole point. A career gap doesn't have to be a period of isolation. With a personal board, you turn it into a period of strategic rebuilding. And you come back stronger. Luna: So to our listeners — go write those three names. And let us know how it goes. We'd love to hear your board stories. Lucas: Yes, reach out to us. And remember, your career comeback is not a solo journey — it's a team sport.