Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1007 - Let's Unplug Childhood

Transcript

#1007 - Let's Unplug Childhood · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Time poor parent who just wants answers. Now, I think
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: our parents were right. It was the damn phones. We laughed,
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  Speaker 1: and we were children hearing it's that snap graminance to
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  Speaker 1: chat and face talk. They didn't understand. They couldn't even
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  Speaker 1: say it right. I thought I knew better than them.
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  Speaker 1: They didn't know what it was like, having a world
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  Speaker 1: to the tip of our fingers. We scrolled through the
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  Speaker 1: trash so much. We have headlines tattooed on our skin,
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  Speaker 1: wires for veins, ai for a brain. And they may
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  Speaker 1: not have understood, but they were right. It is the
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  Speaker 1: damn phones. A drug in my pocket dependent on simulation.
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  Speaker 1: But can we blame us? We were but children when
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  Speaker 1: they were given. We didn't know how to stop it.
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  Speaker 1: If I had it up, all the hours I spent
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  Speaker 1: on a screen, existential dread and regret would creep in.
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  Speaker 1: So I ignore this fact by typing away. And it's
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  Speaker 1: not like I can throw away my phone. It's how
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  Speaker 1: we communicate, it's how we relate. It's the medicine that
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  Speaker 1: is surely making our souls die. I used to say
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  Speaker 1: I was born in the wrong generation. But I was
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  Speaker 1: mistaken for do I not do everything I say? I
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  Speaker 1: hate When I look in the mirror, I see a
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  Speaker 1: ghost staring back. I try not to think about who
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  Speaker 1: I would be without technology. The character behind my phone
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  Speaker 1: screen has become self aware, almost worse than being naive.
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  Speaker 1: Or I know it's poisoned, but I drink anyways. We
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  Speaker 1: used to be scared of robot scanning consciousness, so live
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  Speaker 1: by the media companies to keep us distracted. Has not
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  Speaker 1: ourselves become conscious of the mess that they have created.
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  Speaker 1: We are the robots, we are the products. And so
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  Speaker 1: I sit and I scroll, and I rot and repeat,
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  Speaker 1: Sit and scroll and rot until my own thoughts or
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  Speaker 1: what's being fed to me on TV, until my own
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  Speaker 1: feelings are wrapped in celebrities, until my body is a
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  Speaker 1: tool of my political identity. And so I sit and
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  Speaker 1: I scroll, and I rot, And so I post on
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  Speaker 1: the Internet how the Internet has failed us, that I
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  Speaker 1: may not fail my Internet presence. I think our parents
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  Speaker 1: were right, it was the damn phones.
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  Speaker 2: That's Corey dot Jane's kr I dot j a n
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  Speaker 2: ees on Instagram reels saying what's the damn phones? And
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  Speaker 2: our parents were rot Hello This is doctor Justin Colson
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  Speaker 2: today a special announcement on the Heavy Families podcast. We
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  Speaker 2: are creating a movement the website Unplugged Childlihood dot org
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  Speaker 2: unplug childhood dot org. Following in the footsteps of Professor
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  Speaker 2: Jonathan Hate from New York University and his incredible wook
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  Speaker 2: the Anxious Generation, We're starting to make some noise and
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  Speaker 2: creating a movement. The goal is to get at least
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  Speaker 2: twenty five percent of parents on board with this to
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  Speaker 2: do some basic things that are going to make a difference,
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  Speaker 2: really move the needle when it comes to your children
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  Speaker 2: and their wellbeing. Unplugged Childhood dot org. If you are interested, then,
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  Speaker 2: like so many other parents, you're aware that our children's
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  Speaker 2: access to social media and devices is not in their
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  Speaker 2: best interests and you want to know what you can
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  Speaker 2: do about it. And so that's what this podcast, and
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  Speaker 2: that's what this movement is all about. I'm going to
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  Speaker 2: answer three simple questions for you. Number one, why does
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  Speaker 2: it matter that we get screens and social media under control?
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  Speaker 2: Number two, can we really unplug childhood? And number three,
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  Speaker 2: how can we get everyone on board and really really
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  Speaker 2: make change? I mean, for the last how many years
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  Speaker 2: it's felt like walking uphill in a hurricane, maybe an
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  Speaker 2: icy uphill in a hurricane. We can change this. Now
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  Speaker 2: there is more movement, there is more enthusiasm. There's more
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  Speaker 2: desire on the part of parents than I have ever
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  Speaker 2: seen to get the screen and social media issue under control.
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  Speaker 2: So let's start with why it matters. In recent years,
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  Speaker 2: social media companies have been under the spotlight. I've talked
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  Speaker 2: about it a lot here on the Happy Families podcast.
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  Speaker 2: Mendacia CEOs this year. Dishonesty of the CEOs who have
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  Speaker 2: failed to implement basic safety protocols that they actually have.
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  Speaker 2: They know that kids are being harmed by their products.
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  Speaker 2: Algorithms have been shown to push suicide vulnerable kids. We've
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  Speaker 2: got depression. Here's a steady diet of pills and raisors
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  Speaker 2: and so much more. An increasing number of studies point
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  Speaker 2: links between social media and anxiety and depression, eating disorders,
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  Speaker 2: body objectification, gender identity difficulties, sleep disturbances, non suicidal self harm,
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  Speaker 2: and suicide. Like this is why it matters, and the amazing,
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  Speaker 2: the amazing thing social media. We know this social media
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  Speaker 2: exposes kids, says significant safety risks. In fact, it goes
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  Speaker 2: beyond social media. It's also smart phones because of the
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  Speaker 2: explicit content that kids can get when they're walking around
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  Speaker 2: carrying these things in their pockets. The Australian e Safety
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  Speaker 2: Commissioner Julie Inman Grant and the Australian Senator counter child
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  Speaker 2: Exploitation are consistently warning about children who are experiencing sex stortion.
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  Speaker 2: There's an alarming percentage of children who are assaulted by
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  Speaker 2: unsolicited nude images. There's image based abuse, it's increasing scams
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  Speaker 2: of rife. Privacy concerns are just enormous. Online bullying remains
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  Speaker 2: a never ending, ever present challenge, and we know that
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  Speaker 2: our kids who are playing fun games are targeted by
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  Speaker 2: bad actors. I shared some of that with you just
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  Speaker 2: recently from Parental Guidance Season two, where we've got kids
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  Speaker 2: to jump on a game and be approached by an
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  Speaker 2: actual actor who was pretending to be a bad actor,
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  Speaker 2: and kids fell for it. They started to give away
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  Speaker 2: their details. All of these things perpetuated and amplified by
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  Speaker 2: social media. That's why it matters, and that's why we
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  Speaker 2: need this movement. That's why we need to unplug childhood
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  Speaker 2: Unplugged Childhood dot org. In addition by the way as
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  Speaker 2: a result of those problems and those concerns. Here's what
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  Speaker 2: I'm proposing, and I'm so excited. I'm teaming up with
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  Speaker 2: a whole bunch of people. Their names are on the
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  Speaker 2: website because at the time that I'm recording this podcast,
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  Speaker 2: I don't have everyone locked in and nailed down, so
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  Speaker 2: I'm not going to mention any names right now. But
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  Speaker 2: we're talking well, lots lots of really great people who
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  Speaker 2: do lots of really great stuff, and they're people who
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  Speaker 2: know because they do this work all day and all
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  Speaker 2: night and unplugged childhood. What does it mean, Well, we
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  Speaker 2: don't let our kids drink alcohol before they're eighteen because
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  Speaker 2: we know that it's unsafe and unhealthy. We don't let
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  Speaker 2: our kids gamble before eighteen because we know it's unsafe
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  Speaker 2: and unhealthy. These are the kinds of things where the
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  Speaker 2: earlier you do it, the earlier you start, the more
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  Speaker 2: likely it is that you'll do it in excess, and
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  Speaker 2: the more likely it is that you'll do it inroblematic ways.
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  Speaker 2: But let's move beyond those kinds of things. We don't
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  Speaker 2: let that kids drive a car before they're sixteen and
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  Speaker 2: they have a permit, why, Well, it's unsafe and it's unhealthy.
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  Speaker 2: They're probably not going to be able to do it
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  Speaker 2: very well. Right now in Australia, there are some great
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  Speaker 2: people including Whipper of FITZI and Whipper Fame, who are
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  Speaker 2: working on a top down legislative approach to make social
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  Speaker 2: media illegal for under sixteen's. Why are they doing it
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  Speaker 2: Because we know it's unsafe and unhealthy and I absolutely
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  Speaker 2: completely support them. We need those laws, our kids need
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  Speaker 2: those laws because it is the damn phones. But laws
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  Speaker 2: take a long time to be passed, they take an
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  Speaker 2: even longer time to be implemented. The tech to do
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  Speaker 2: it is questionable. It needs to be a commonwealth decision
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  Speaker 2: rather than a state by state movement. It's going to
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  Speaker 2: cost a bomb. Parents need help knowing how to make
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  Speaker 2: this happen even after the legislation is passed. I don't
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  Speaker 2: think we can afford to wait that long, and I
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  Speaker 2: suspect that if laws are past that they may end
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  Speaker 2: up being challenged by the social media companies. Can't be guaranteed,
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  Speaker 2: but I think it might happen. So what's my focus.
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  Speaker 2: It's called an unplugged childhood. Let's unplugged childhood? Once again
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  Speaker 2: the website unplug childhood dot org. The deal when it
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  Speaker 2: comes to unplugging childhood has always been, according to the
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  Speaker 2: social media giants themselves, that our children should not be
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  Speaker 2: on socials before thirteen. Now, that's nothing new, but too
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  Speaker 2: many of us are not playing by the rules as parents,
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  Speaker 2: because the kids come home and say, can I have Snapjake?
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  Speaker 2: Can I have Facebook? All my friends have got it.
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  Speaker 2: I'm the only one in my grade that hasn't got it.
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  Speaker 2: This isn't fair. What I want to highlight here is
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  Speaker 2: what I'm proposing when I say let's unplug childhood. I'm
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  Speaker 2: not actually proposing anything new. If we don't play by
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  Speaker 2: the rules, we end up having the majority of primary
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  Speaker 2: school age children on social media and on smartphones. And
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  Speaker 2: guess what, when I go to schools, when I do
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  Speaker 2: my speaking, when I talk to parents, when I talk
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  Speaker 2: to adults, and even when I talk to the kids themselves,
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  Speaker 2: the overwhelming majority of primary school age kids have social
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  Speaker 2: media accounts and they have smart phones. Folks, the house
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  Speaker 2: is still on fire. The house is still on fire,
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  Speaker 2: and the kids are in the house. They're in there
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  Speaker 2: while it's burning down. So we need to put this
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  Speaker 2: fire out. And I think we can do something about it.
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  Speaker 2: We can do something about it today. We don't have
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  Speaker 2: to wait for the government. So I'm going to ask
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  Speaker 2: you to do three things. Will you visit Unplugged Childhood
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  Speaker 2: dot org. That's number well, that's part of number one.
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  Speaker 2: And pledge. I want you to pledge to do the
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  Speaker 2: following Number one delay delay, delay, Commit keeping smartphones and
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  Speaker 2: social media out of primary school. Let's give our kids
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  Speaker 2: a play based childhood, not a screen based childhood. Jonathan
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  Speaker 2: Hate in his Anxious Generation book makes so much of this,
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  Speaker 2: and he's so right. He's so right back. No, I
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  Speaker 2: don't want to say that the eighties and nineties or
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  Speaker 2: the seventies were the best time in the history of
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  Speaker 2: the world. But I'll tell you what. It was a
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  Speaker 2: great time to grow up and the play based childhood
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  Speaker 2: that so many of us enjoyed our kids as a
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  Speaker 2: general rule, they're missing out on why because they've got
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  Speaker 2: a screen based children, a screen based childhood. Instead, Let's
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  Speaker 2: give our kids a play based childhood. Commit to keep
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  Speaker 2: being smartphones and social media out of primary school and
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  Speaker 2: out of kids' hands while they're in primary school. Number two.
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  Speaker 2: And this is where it gets tricky. We need to
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  Speaker 2: build a community. See the central reason. The main reason
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  Speaker 2: that kids want socials is for relationship. Now they want
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  Speaker 2: smartphones for other things as well, but the central reason
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  Speaker 2: is social relationship. No child wants to be socially isolated.
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  Speaker 2: So as parents, we need to step up here and
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  Speaker 2: build a community with other like minded parents who all
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  Speaker 2: want to delay giving smartphones and social media their kids.
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  Speaker 2: And so they're at least fourteen and preferably fifteen or sixteen.
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  Speaker 2: We need to stick together on this. It's the kind
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  Speaker 2: of thing that takes a village to navigate our kids
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  Speaker 2: through this brave new world. So use your access to
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  Speaker 2: tech for good by helping your kids to get together
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  Speaker 2: with others often. And here's the third thing. When the
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  Speaker 2: time comes for your kids to actually have devices, go slow.
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  Speaker 2: When they want a phone, or you want them to
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  Speaker 2: have a for safety reasons, start with a basic dumb
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  Speaker 2: phone or a smart watch. Because kids don't need smartphones,
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  Speaker 2: they need smart parents, and smart parents give their kids
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  Speaker 2: dumb phones. I want you to aim for fourteen for
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  Speaker 2: smartphones and sixteen for social media platforms. Ideally might've been
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: able to push that even further and build effective boundaries
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  Speaker 2: what do I mean by that, Well, when your child
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  Speaker 2: gets first smartphone, they're going to be willing to agree
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  Speaker 2: to any conditions at all. So create the rules. No
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  Speaker 2: phones in bedrooms, no phones in bathrooms, no phones overnight,
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  Speaker 2: tech free areas and tech free times in the house,
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  Speaker 2: and the condition that you have their passwords so that
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: you can check in everyone out again and make sure
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  Speaker 2: that everything's going okay. If this sounds good to you,
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  Speaker 2: there's two other things that you can do to make
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  Speaker 2: this work. Number One, please download the resources. They'll help
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  Speaker 2: you to have conversations with your kids and with other parents.
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  Speaker 2: Those resources are all over unplugged childhood dot org. Number two,
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  Speaker 2: share the pledge in the movement as widely as you can.
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  Speaker 2: Share it on your own socials. I know we're saying
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: get the kids off socials, but you're going to keep
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  Speaker 2: using yours. So share it on your own socials, Share
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: it in your school what's app groups, share it with
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  Speaker 2: everyone around you, talk about it frequently with your kids,
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  Speaker 2: and here's the best news of all. Twenty five percent
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  Speaker 2: tipping point research is at the University of Pennsylvania found
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  Speaker 2: that when the size of minority who are committed to
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  Speaker 2: social change reaches twenty five percent, it's consistently able to
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  Speaker 2: be established as a new behavioral norm in the large group.
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  Speaker 2: So we don't need everyone. We need twenty five percent
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  Speaker 2: and the momentum will build from there. Join us and
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: help us unplug childhood and give our kids the play
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  Speaker 2: based childhood they deserve. Unplugged childhood dot org. Sign the pledge,
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: download the resources, share the news. Let's get it out
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  Speaker 2: there and make our kids' lives play based rather than
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: screen based. The Happy Famili's podcast is produced by Justin
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Rowland for Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer
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  Speaker 2: Unplugged Childhood dot org. The website is in the show notes.
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  Speaker 2: Have a great weekend. Let's get this conversation, Let's get
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: this movement. Let's get this party starting m