Latest / The Rooted Family / Ep 20 | How We Roadtrip with 7 Kids (Without Losing Our Minds)

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Ep 20 | How We Roadtrip with 7 Kids (Without Losing Our Minds) · The Rooted Family

• Christian Cornish: Can I ask you something? When was the last time you actually felt at peace? Not just productive, not just caught up, but settled. Because most of us aren't lacking desire for a slower, deeper life, we're just stuck in the busyness that keeps us rushing right past it. There are many ways that you can make road trips fun. And in particular, can make new ⁓ And interesting about traditions is traditions are really like rhythms. This might be new concept for you because I think there's this nostalgic piece to traditions ⁓ that we think, And honestly, none of those things are complicated. They're just simple little moments that our kids have come to expect and look forward to whenever we hit the road. We did this for our whole childhood. So now we're gonna do that for our kids, And usually like around a holiday or something like that. Yeah, exactly. But when you look at the basics ⁓ of a tradition, ⁓ a rhythm, usually yearly rhythm, that's been repeated over and over and over again. ⁓ And that's literally a something that you intentionally do. That's why we created the Slow and Savor Society. It's a snail mail club. Yes, it comes straight to your mailbox. It's a simple, tangible way to slow down each month with a piece of art, a cozy recipe, and a letter designed to help you reconnect with what actually ⁓ God, with your family, and with your own soul. if your life has felt full, What comes to mind when you think of a road trip? That sounds absolutely miserable with kids. Or some of my favorite family memories happen crammed inside a vehicle for 12 hours. Which that actually sounds completely ridiculous when you say it out loud. on a consistent basis. I think that's great insight and something that's really helpful when thinking about implementing a tradition and that can look like on a road trip. There are things that you do over and over again that ⁓ will nostalgic in the future ⁓ and your kids remember and even want to do with their own kids someday. Well, and I think what the benefit of seeing traditions as rhythms, ⁓ kids. ⁓ but not meaningful. This is your invitation to begin again. You can learn more or join us at legacyrootsco.com slash Mel Club. And right now, if you use Code Podcast, you'll get 50 % off your first month so you can try it out. Now back to the episode. Many families avoid road trips because they assume they'll be stressful, exhausting, and chaotic. I've actually heard that from many people recently, which is what inspired this episode. what if road trips could actually become one of the most meaningful parts ⁓ family life? Today we're sharing the rhythms, traditions, rules, and practical tips that have helped ⁓ family travel thousands. They gain a lot of security and safety from rhythms. That's why we preach rhythms so big in the home, kids anticipate gonna come. They know what to expect. ⁓ And it creates a level calmness, And when kids know that you have these traditional elements to your road trip, it gives them something to look forward to, but it also gives them this level of. Of miles with our seven kids. And truly, you don't have to dread road trips if you create traditions that your kids are gonna look forward to. Yeah, so before we get into all the practical tips, let's just start off by sharing why we even chose to road trip in our family in the first place. So we have a ton of experience with road trips. For those of you who are new to our family, What they can expect on this really long amount of time smashed into the car with each other. And so in a way it brings peace, it brings calm, especially to children. There are some personalities that it makes them very anxious or stressed when they don't know what to expect. And traditions are very grounding in general. I would agree. And it helps everybody to We have seven kids, ages twelve, down a baby. And we have been road tripping as a family since day one of building our family. Yeah, early on it probably started with our family of origins. we are from the Midwest. ⁓ Like literally every joke about Midwesterners not liking fly anywhere, I think applies to me. ⁓ move throughout the day of being in the car. A hundred percent. Me too. I would rather drive twelve hours than get on a two or three hour flight any day. Yeah, Why don't we share some of our traditions that we have really enjoyed over years road tripping all across America? for one, I think listening. So what are some of the ways that we have created some listening traditions? Yeah, what's great about listening is it just kind of takes away the need for screen time. And that changes over time, right? flying is a lot more expensive than driving when we have this many people in our family. That's quite obvious. But it hasn't always been true. when we had two kids, we took a trip from the Midwest ⁓ in Wisconsin the way up New Hampshire and Boston and the East Coast area. Yeah. And I think that it's fair for us to share that when you've heard us earlier say, you know, we try to limit the screen time in the car, and that sounded maybe insane to you. Well, one way you can do that is by listening. ⁓ And ⁓ ignites imagination, actually in a better way, scientifically than watching, which is awesome. It engages the brain so much. Mm-hmm. And with all of that, a first one is a family playlist. we like to ⁓ take not every single trip we've ever done in our marriage has been by vehicle. So we do have the comparison of flying. ⁓ we actually have flown internationally our kids. When they were really little, we've flown with ⁓ our oldest girls to Germany multiple when they were ⁓ babies and toddlers. And I would that there's definitely a time and place, like international. ⁓ in what everybody's listening to and throw it into a playlist and everybody enjoys it more too because they contributed ⁓ to that ⁓ and they excited about you know their song getting played. Yep. This tradition means a lot to me because when my family was growing up, so I'm one of four kids with a fifth stepbrother, but we had a road trip ⁓ and You know, that flying actually makes sense. Yep. And flying is fine too. But I would definitely say that there's a lot of people missing out on all that a road trip can offer. ⁓ And so why don't we just share benefits? ⁓ If you are listening right now and you're of on the fence of should we road trip this summer? Should we just fly? Should we just stay home? I even know there's people that In particular, we always listen to the standby me soundtrack on cassette. Ooh. So that really is dating me. I'm sure many of you listening can relate to this because many of you are millennials ⁓ and grew up in the same time frame. I know. I had a Walkman. Thank you very much. Okay, we did transition to CD player at some point, but we did play a lot of cassettes. we played, I remember the standby me, we played are not traveling at all in this season of life with small kids because the idea of hopping in a car with small children sounds like a complete nightmare. So let's to convince our audience right now on why they might even consider road tripping with young kids. I think that's a great idea. I think the first, which we kind of hinted at, was the cost, especially when you have a certain number of kids and you're buying The movie Animal House on Track. I don't know. My dad liked loved that one. And we listen to a lot of Phil Collins, a lot of Simon and Garfunkel. But it's true when you hear music of a special time in your life, it brings you right back to that moment. It really does. I agree a hundred percent. So it's so funny because we actually added some of these songs to our family's playlist now. ⁓ like, you know, when Lollipop Lollipop comes on ⁓ ⁓ of these other songs that I grew up listening to. ⁓ More tickets. ⁓ think for ⁓ ⁓ one one trip, is gonna be a lot because we're buying nine tickets, ⁓ And yes, there's a cost to gas and hotels and all of that. not to discount but It makes me feel like I'm eight years old driving across the country, carefree, ⁓ ⁓ planned except just wind in my hair. ⁓ And I just think the beauty of ⁓ a traditional soundtrack for road. ⁓ I love that. That's great. You know, we've done a few other things like a classic is Adventures in Odyssey. ⁓ yeah. And you get that if you were like an OG Christian in nineteen nineties. ⁓ flights can just be really expensive. Yeah. Which I wasn't. Or like the early two thousands. I don't relate to that, but you definitely do. Cause you had every single D V D, C D Yeah you actually have no idea. It's really, really sad. I have appreciated it listening to with you though and the kids. And we also have done audiobooks Lots of audiobooks. Actually one series that we've really enjoyed going through ⁓ is the ⁓ There's just something different about being in the car together for, you know, so many hours that it just it promotes more conversation. It promotes ⁓ family that you just kind of make up because you're stuck in a car together. ⁓ And so really think that when we have done road trips, the moments in the car become some of the more memorable times on the vacation. Laura Ingalls Wilder series, cause there's seven or eight books maybe in that series. ⁓ it's just really cool to listen to the olden times of America prairie life ⁓ while you're across the prairie. ⁓ That's true. I agree. it's been really fun because everybody just kind of gets to a hush when it's on. they're listening, they're taking it in. Just because we're all forced to enjoy this moving piece of metal across the country together. Well, it's true, right? you could pass beautiful scenery. I mean, the drive from North Carolina to Wisconsin, that was a drive we made several times as a family. And yeah, there's some really boring spots in that drive. These create really peaceful moments. We just ⁓ take it in for a while. ⁓ And, you can only do it for so long. Yeah. Before you hit everybody's limit. ⁓ And then the limit is there and and on from the activity. But overall, this really has been a great ⁓ way that we ⁓ ⁓ yeah, ⁓ But when you get to Tennessee and the Rolling Hills and you come into North Carolina, you have the mountains ⁓ and ⁓ there's just some amazing things you get to see on a drive. make it to be honest. Yeah, and a few easy ways to get audiobooks is one, you can get them from the library before you leave town. a lot of libraries have books on CD. if you don't have a CD player in your ⁓ car, then you benefit from downloading the audiobook to your phone and you can actually do that for free. ⁓ A lot of have ⁓ a app for like the Libby app is one of them. ⁓ And you get to say you've experienced seeing these different states along the way. And when you're in an airplane, there's no distinguishing where you're at, what you're looking at. you might not even be able to see out the window in most seats. ⁓ there's definitely that aspect of ⁓ the experience going across our beautiful country we live in. but you can actually get a free account with your library ⁓ and download free audiobooks, chapter books right to your And so they're ready to go for when you leave town. you could also use the Audible app, which we've really enjoyed using too. So yeah, we can put a Yeah, it's actually why we are not a big fan of screens in the car. and we'll share about that in just moment. But we ⁓ did have D V D players at one point in our car that we used maybe for a couple trips, but then they broke ⁓ and we never replaced them. ⁓ And we've done ⁓ I mean, ⁓ hundreds of hours in the car screens or very minimal screens. couple of those links in the show notes. But are seriously, that is like pure gold for a long road trip because ⁓ is so excited to listen to the next chapter. And if you have any suggestions, drop them in the comments. we not really found podcasts to be a successful family listen. but you we're always open to hearing things. If you have some great soundtracks that you want to share with other people ⁓ And I think that we do that because we just so value our kids just looking out the window and seeing what is right there, right in front of them. It's amazing the landscape that you get to go through when you're on a road trip for the most part. You know, there are, like we said, some states that just are not as enjoyable. And that's where you can take your nap. The kids can nap. ⁓ Playlists, drop them in the comments here where you're listening, and hopefully we can create a little library of resources in this episode for people to check out. Yeah, and along with the audio, ⁓ few devices that have been really helpful for us is the Tony box, which is I would say geared more towards younger, ⁓ like to ⁓ lower elementary school ⁓ But it's essentially little characters that But I do think that that is something you don't really get when you're flying. You don't really get to grasp all the beautiful scenery that you're actually traveling through. And there are skills that kids get to learn. you get to learn patience, which is I think just a fleeting thing today. Mm-hmm. my kids are guilty of this, ⁓ it's like, Hey dad, can I a show? And I'm like, dude. magnetized to the box and then when they do they play a song or play an audiobook. and then we also really loved our YOTO player, which we just got that recently ⁓ the last year. And the kids ⁓ love it. And it's really good for those older ages. ⁓ get these cards, these Yoto cards, ⁓ different books. You can even get Bible stories. we have the whole Narnia collection on YOTO cards. ⁓ you know in five minutes we're walking out the door to go somewhere. And they're like, yeah, I know. I'm like, no, you can be patient for five minutes. You don't need to be distracted by something. All the time. And car trips are long, but there are are moments that anticipation gets built, or you know, boredom we've talked about in many episodes leads to creativity. are good things. ⁓ You can even make your own YOTO cards, etc. But what's cool about having some of these listening devices in the car is that the kids can do their own independent listening. you can even get a portable Walkman. So that way you're passing around a CD player. Bring out those old ⁓ early CDs and your kids can listen to your Backstreet Boys or your in sync. I was about to say, do not insult me with that backstreet boys crap. ⁓ And you learn adaptability. Mm. road trips require change of plans or ⁓ you ⁓ overcome challenges all the time, like ⁓ bad weather or unforeseen road construction. So yeah, the there's lots of different listening opportunities besides even just the whole, van listening. I think you bring up a great point. The device is wonderful because we can plug it into our stereo and we can all listen, ⁓ or can plug in headphones ⁓ and one feels really special because it's their turn. You know, getting lost. Getting lost if you're well, it happens probably less nowadays, but yeah, it's possible still to get lost. Well, and I even remember growing up, if we got lost with our big old maps, we had to pull into the gas station and ask the guy at the counter, you know, who wasn't playing on his phone was actually probably wanting to talk to somebody, unlike teenagers these days. ⁓ And we had to ask for directions, which is not Totally. A few other traditions we have besides listening is that we do ⁓ a treat tradition. think we mentioned this earlier in the episode, but ⁓ do give a dum dumb sucker or a twizzler. ⁓ normal today, your GPS GPS is not gonna like, you know, send you into a lake. that's a great reference. ⁓ the possibility exists, out west though. when even from our little town up to Denver, there are long stretches without service. So true. And if your phone dies ⁓ every single hour for the kids that don't ask that question. So they the kids just expect that now. I cannot go on a road trip anymore without bringing ⁓ giant bag of dum dums and Twizzlers. If you didn't set your map before you left so that it would keep tracking you, uh-huh, you ⁓ on a normal day can not have service and be able to ⁓ out your way without the GPS. So true. we also have some favorite stops along the way. we have been a little cracker barrel obsessed. If you follow Kayla for the last like five to ten years on Instagram, there's probably been an abundance of Cracker Barrel posts. I could probably make a whole highlight bubble on my Instagram of just cracker barrel stops. ⁓ You know, I wanna be that couple that's like ⁓ ninety-nine years old and they visited cracker barrel in the US. ⁓ tripping when was little. we were driving and it was like crystal clear blue skies and out of nowhere just this ⁓ massive storm, to the point where it's like dropping like gulf. That is my goal in life. It's a very ambitious goal. Yeah. And a delicious one. you know, we usually make quick whether it's we packed a picnic. Yeah. Or, you know, we stop somewhere very quickly and move on. So stopping at a cracker barrel, sitting down at the table. ball size hail. Yeah. You know, you can't even see. And all the cars are pulling off to the side. And I just remember my dad was just super resourceful. He was able to find a bridge really quickly and pull us under. ⁓ And then we waited this massive storm. But I just think about those type of situations you're in, they require you to think outside the box, make it happen. I'm making that an extended stop it does feel like kind of a treat. Totally. And we can really limit the opportunity there. We have some good leverage. Yeah. ⁓ you don't get to go in the store. ⁓ huh. ⁓ you don't get a little piece of candy or you know, whatever. So if you're looking for some leverage, ⁓ you're welcome. Yeah. ⁓ I in the moment as a kid, it seemed really scary, which is probably why it stayed with me. My dad was probably like, ⁓ it's a storm. We'll let it pass. But ⁓ there times when ⁓ we had to in our car in a parking lot, on a big road trip. we didn't get a hotel, but we were taking cat naps and just trying to make it to Florida or make it to wherever we were going. And so I think what you're trying to get at is road tripping, it really leads to more character development that you may not get if you never leave home. if are so afraid of the road trip that you're missing out, I think, on some of these blessings that come with it. if you're not gonna do stops on the road, some really good, easy food that we like to bring on the road would be chicken salad sandwiches, egg salad sandwiches. We do go-urts, ⁓ the yogurt tubes. ⁓ we always have a ton of snacks. And We usually make an ice cream stop too is a traditional stop of some kind. Yeah, those are really good ⁓ And I wouldn't say that you and I are extra unique or that we can handle road trips and ⁓ other parents just don't have the skills or the talent to do it. Like, zero talent involved. I've done it. So I've even heard some people say they don't have the capacity. Like they don't have the mental capacity to handle a road trip. ⁓ And ⁓ what we're gonna share here in a few minutes will really show you that ⁓ really anyone, you're extroverted, introverted, if you can handle loud noises, can't handle loud noises, ⁓ can sit your bottom for hours at a time or not. I think we're share with you some really practical ways ⁓ for you to enjoy road tripping with your young ⁓ because the journey ⁓ really does become part of overall vacation. ⁓ I know that some of our best family memories have happened between destinations, not when you finally get to your destination. before we do, ⁓ we would love to just ask you ⁓ to ⁓ take moment right now, and leave a review the Family ⁓ podcast. ⁓ We have been so ⁓ blessed and so thankful for those of you have taken. 30 seconds of your time to do so, it really does help us reach more families. And with us being a newer podcast, this is really one of the ways that we can grow. And so if this podcast has blessed you or ⁓ given to you over the last several episodes, ⁓ we love to hear your thoughts if you can share them today. ⁓ So, thing that we've learned is that every road trip doesn't ⁓ look same. ⁓ ⁓ And it's true, kids won't remember every mile they've driven over the years with you. ⁓ They will remember the moments, the really special traditional moments that feel to them like it happened every time, even if it didn't. And so take some time to think about what's ⁓ one tradition you could add to your road trips this year. is there something that we mentioned today that your kids could get excited about? ⁓ Because every family season of ours doesn't look the same. we've had, ⁓ little tiny We had five kids at one point under five years old. ⁓ And ⁓ ⁓ a intense ⁓ season. It's much different than when you have your kids more spread out in ages, or you have some of the older kid ages. I feel like even when we had just Azalea and Ella. Or is there something that you've accidentally been doing over the last couple road trips you've done and you're like, ⁓ this is a tradition for our family. We're just going to start doing that more intentionally moving forward. ⁓ because fun really does matter. ⁓ at the same time, there is some practical preparation when it comes to a road trip that can make or break a road trip. ⁓ ⁓ just share a few ⁓ about how to ⁓ And even maybe brave. We were trying to figure out road tripping with littles. ⁓ Yeah, and seasons were different. they were so little. One advantage was we didn't have the potty break stops. Because you're all in diapers. You can go way further. You know, something that's proven over time for us at least is Make your road trip feel a little less chaotic, a little less stressful. Because stress is gonna be a given. You can't expect this super zen ⁓ experience, especially with little kids. ⁓ at the same time, you don't need to entertain your kids every single minute. ⁓ so it's important that you kind of plan ahead before the road trip on some practical ways to keep them engaged The smaller they are, the longer they tend to sleep, because little kids sleep more anyway. But then, they get tired from being in the car or bored and they just fall asleep lot ⁓ more throughout the day. I think that too have to consider how are your physical bodies in this season. I know for me, I've been pregnant pretty much every year since the year we got married. almost like an independent fun. for one, for our littles, we've always had toddlers and babies ever since, you know, how many years ago, 12 years ago. We really appreciate having a small bucket or basket in the car for baby and toddler toys that would include some hard books and some different activities that the babies can do because that is actually one of the hardest parts of road tripping. You've been pregnant half the time and then nursing the other half. ⁓ Yeah, exactly. ⁓ So you have to consider kind of restrictions you have to work around or think about, or maybe you have ⁓ an actual physical pain or back problem or the case that you might have to consider. ⁓ But these things really do lead you into knowing Is when the baby or the toddler has had enough. Yeah, because you can't do anything to make them stop. ⁓ fussing and crying. Fusting, crying, whining. ⁓ nothing you can do about it. You can only give a baby so many puffs. That's true. Where can your family road trip to? How long does that road trip last? And what do the legs of that road trip look like? Because you may not be in a season where you can just pull off a twelve hour day on the road. You might be like, Okay, ideally it takes twelve hours to get there, but I know our family and that twelve hours actually is like eighteen hours. ⁓ And not doing that in So yeah, having like a little bucket in the car for just toddler toys or a little basket or a little backpack, something to contain them. ⁓ We didn't do this early on and we had toys ⁓ everywhere, all over the And so having ⁓ specifically something to contain the toys. And for the older kids, we actually have each our older kids pack a very backpack of their personal activities for the van. ⁓ One day. It's so true. My parents are a great example. They would get in the car from Iowa to come visit us in North Carolina. It was like a fourteen hour drive, I think, for them. And they would literally get up at three in the morning. ⁓ huh. And they would show up at five thirty. it was like Did you even stop? Did you pee in a cup? I don't know how you did this. ⁓ huh. Like ⁓ it just amazing. so we're not saying bring your whole collection of Paw Patrol toys ⁓ your whole thing of magnetiles. ⁓ you're bring a few practical activities like coloring books and some crayons or ⁓ maybe a But you know, with seven kids, if they all brought their entire toy and stuffy collection, we'd have no room for luggage. It's ⁓ That thought of us making it in one day fourteen hours is just laughable. Yeah. It's impossible. The best we ever did was eleven and I was so exhausted. I literally said I'm pulling over at this next exit and we're getting a hotel in this town. ⁓ And it like two hours away from home, but we just couldn't go any further. ⁓ yeah. And that eleven hour drive ⁓ was like a hour drive at that point because of ⁓ all the meal and the potty stops. It's so true. It actually feels like that sometimes. They all like to grab their blanket and their pillow or some of them grab like four blankets and pillows and it's like, yo, turn around and walk that back inside. Like do you there's no room. Like you're just stuffed in there, like a sardine. yeah, we have a twelve passenger van. They each want their own row, basically. And there is not enough for them to have their own row. So it just ⁓ it work. But the backpack has always worked really well for us because Then we can also say put your things back in your backpack. it's but it's not too much that doesn't make them feel crowded. ⁓ And we're to the point now where three days before the trip, I come home ⁓ and all of a sudden there's a bunch of backpacks stacked by the back door. And we're even leaving for like three days. And I don't even ask, they just do it. It's amazing. Cause So this first kind of practical step here is really know your limits and understand them and and live within them and accept that. That's okay. And don't compare them to other people's limits. I feel like guys are really prideful if they can Make it a 12 hour drive and never had to stop like even one time in 12 hours. and gonna make my family, they're not gonna stop for six hours, because that's just the way we do it. there's literally nothing to be prideful of about getting your family from A to B in a certain amount of time. I don't know what you're talking about. I could totally pull that off. ⁓ You wish. Now they just know they love to pick what they get to bring ⁓ and love to get ready. something that makes that feel really special for them. And I think that's been really cool to see. I'm just getting the image of what it normally looks like in our van on a road trip. And it sometimes truly looks like a bomb went off in our van. And I think this is just the reality of a road trip. you have You wish we could pull that off. I do wish we could pull that off. ⁓ I think this is reality of being a young family. I think that road trips are way more enjoyable when you the fact that your kids probably can't make it six hours without stopping. embrace those stops. ⁓ Make them fun. Someone's stuff over here and another person's stuff is on another person's lap. And then there's pillows just shoved in between seats. a leg hanging the window. I'm just kidding. But when you think about the car, if there's any way you can manage the craziness of everything in the car, it will make your a lot more peaceful. ⁓ And with that, we should mention our screen time. Could you include fun stops like going to a Bucky's or stopping at a Cracker Barrel or Yes to Bucky's. ⁓ yes to Bucky's. or put chalk in the car. So when you stop ⁓ at a stop, kids are chalking for 10 minutes and being creative. Or could you ⁓ let them at a park? we've done this so many times on a road trip where we'll find a park in whatever town we're passing through, the kids are acting a little wild, a little hairy. ⁓ Because we've kind of sprinkled it into this episode, but we had made a decision after our DVD players broke a couple years ago that we're just not gonna get DVD players again for the car. And we've done that intentionally, even this big road trip we're gonna do this summer is gonna be 24 hours driving at the minimum that we're be doing each way. ⁓ And so we just find a random park, we pull over for 20 minutes, let them get their wiggles out, and then get going. And I think that some people might discredit the road trip because, we had to stop again. But I think that you're it wrong. I think it's just part of the journey, part of the process, part of making the road trip fun and not trying to lay down the law and say, we're gonna just And you might be like, that is crazy. Why would you put yourself through that? And I promise you that the more, your kids get used to screen time boundaries, or the more they get used to less screen time, it really does get easier. ⁓ They truly do figure it And it's amazing how content they can be without hours upon hours of screen. And ⁓ Try to get there as quickly as we can. Yeah, 'cause a good way to think of this is you might crush yourself to get somewhere, but you're gonna be so exhausted, you'll take at least half a day to recover. That's such a good point. Well, what if you just took that half a day to make the journey a little more enjoyable, ⁓ a lot more peaceful ⁓ and connective ⁓ and allow that to be what it's gonna be. So yeah, when I look at a road trip Personally, I'd rather have them look out the window than watching a DVD the entire time we're driving because part of the road trip is seeing your surroundings. Yes. that, we do have some screens we bring in Nintendo Switch. there is ⁓ one kid has a tablet, the older she paid for herself. But we still limit the use of all these things. Everybody has to take a turn. ⁓ we always add time. We say, hey, that's an eight-hour trip. Well, we're gonna stop at least twice along the way. That's at least an hour and a half. So add that on. try to be more realistic about that. And the nice thing is that helps you plan, right? To leave a little earlier ⁓ or, you know, understand I'm gonna pull in a little later somewhere, and that's okay. It's very organized. It is not an all-day adventure at all. you get a half hour, maybe 45 minutes once in the morning, maybe a half hour, 45 minutes if you were a good ⁓ contributor to the of the car in the afternoon. Again, leverage. Have you heard leverage come out of our mouths? So funny. ⁓ ⁓ but that's it anymore. ⁓ And ⁓ One really practical tip we have for you in this area, a baby step, if you will, ⁓ is we you to take a day trip and just build your endurance. You know, recently we did this. We went to visit a really cool mining town here in Colorado. And mining he means like literal mining. they used to mine silver, I think we all enjoy the time more. We enjoy the conversations more. And yeah, there's some complaining, but the trade off is really worth it. how would you say we decide when the screens do come out? ⁓ I know that usually in the morning don't hand it to ⁓ right away. Yes. And it's a a little more touristy too, so there's just fun things for everybody in this town. And it was ⁓ one of those moments on Sabbath where we didn't even have a plan to go to Creed. We were like, What do we wanna do today? And ⁓ we try to listen, ⁓ a while to some other things. ⁓ And I we give it a good couple hours in the longer you can hold ⁓ off ⁓ seems to help us go further. Uh-huh. I think one of us just threw it out as an idea. And so we started just Googling Creed and we're like, What can you do in Creed? Where can you eat in Creed? How far away is Creed? ⁓ And we realized it was so close and it had some ⁓ really cool landmarks and to see that were like, Let's just get in the car and ⁓ And you know, you may hear, ⁓ that's only an hour and fifteen minutes. But honestly that's long enough for people say, Hey, are we there yet? So you start to get those questions. you gotta hold your potty. Yeah. we had to think ahead from a preparation standpoint. We did think ahead of, hey, do we have water? Do we have snacks? diaper bag, stroller. Yep. it was enough to really run us through the rehearsal. ⁓ So how would you say we kinda handle it in the afternoon? I would say the afternoons, we definitely try to mimic our home rhythm, which is quiet afternoons. So right after lunch or lunch stop, we will put on some really peaceful, quiet music ⁓ really try to help the littles to fall asleep. And this is probably where we would utilize more of the independent devices. is where we might be passing around the ⁓ And get the feel. I used to do that as a kid. I remember I didn't live too far from the field of dreams. my mom would say, Hey, we're going to the field of dreams with and grandpa today. ⁓ just little trips like that though are what I mean. And ⁓ if you do that, they're fun way to see where you live, but it will help to really get ready for ⁓ Yodo player or even the switch, for the older kids, we might pass that around. ⁓ But it's usually for a a period of time in the afternoon. We really try to foster quiet time for everybody. ⁓ And then we have the turned off at some point. And the rest of the evening is truly just listening to audiobooks and music and enjoying being in the car together, playing car games, ⁓ you know, talking to each ⁓ these kinds of longer road trips more than you may think. That's good. Yeah, because I think you don't almost really know your capacity until you just start testing it out. ⁓ And some of you who are listening that are really nervous to take a long road trip with your family, I think you would be very and your confidence would increase if you ⁓ just plan a few day trips. it's definitely very structured. It's a little bit of time in the morning, a little bit of time in the afternoon is some screen time. one of the biggest stress points for parents actually happens before the vehicle ever leaves the driveway. So, real quick, just want to share that packing ⁓ is important when thinking about the road trip. don't want to lose your mind trying to ⁓ pack too much. ⁓ Where you are road tripping technically, but you're not having to pack like all the bags for overnight, which adds a whole nother layer to road trips. And you can just see how your kids do. And some of these next tips that we're gonna give you, we're gonna share in just a moment, are road trip rules that we have in our car and ⁓ of the ways we make road tripping fun. ⁓ You can to implement some of these things on an hour and a half or two hour day trip, road trip, ⁓ and really And so I would say my biggest tip with packing for a road trip is having an emergency supplies, a very intentional emergency supplies packing. ⁓ And so for our family, we have a lot of kids ⁓ who get car sick, and I car sick myself, and so we always have a ton of bags. ⁓ How they work for you. Because I think the wisdom here is knowing ⁓ your family can handle ⁓ ⁓ season. ⁓ like I said earlier, don't compare your season to another family season. you really have to just know. ⁓ Which our tip for that is use Ziploc bags because if you have to pass back a large gallon Ziploc bag to a kid and they puke in it, you can easily zip that thing up and ditch it at your ⁓ earliest ⁓ No. ⁓ You don't puke, know, all your car. ⁓ Yeah, zip that thing What does your family need to make their road trip successful? once know your family's limits, ⁓ the step is creating an environment in your vehicle ⁓ that sets up for success. I know we're kind of being dramatic about this, but like ⁓ it really require road trips require ⁓ ground rules. do. And So puke bags are super important. ⁓ having extra wipes for anything from wiping up messes to changing quick diapers on the go, sanitizing wipes ⁓ in case you have some puke situations, which have had plenty of them ⁓ all over. ⁓ Kids, car seats, the car. there's really two sets of rules we have at the highest level ⁓ they fall under these categories. It's either driver safety or it's be not driving each other ⁓ insane. ⁓ Cause you're stuck in this little metal moving tube for a really long of time. ⁓ I have no idea why I chose that word. ⁓ in your emergency kit, pack thing of paper towels, cause that will also help with messes. ⁓ Yep. extra garbage, small garbage bags or bags to throw the mess in and then And have them for the car. I don't think we got said that earlier. I know this sounds so silly, but it's practical. It drives me insane when I open the back door and there's garbage. ⁓ And it's not little. We actually have a twelve passenger, a large piece of metal. ⁓ So let's talk about rules for safety. I know this sounds crazy, but is really important because when you start to kids in a car and they don't understand, they can do some things like throw an object at you and hit you while you're driving. Everywhere. ⁓ so you're saying make sure you have a garbage for inside the van. Yes. Yes. Yes. Like But I I say this because we've gone on many trips where I forget. Or I'm waiting until we go to McDonald's or something and there's a McDonald's bag that everybody can finally use. Yeah. Is so annoying to me to see the trash everywhere. And we have a pretty strict rule in our van that every kid has to pass up their trash to the garbage immediately. we don't allow the to just let trash linger in the cup holders or on the floor. ⁓ If they do, they much lose the next treat opportunity. And so I would say if you're gonna So don't throw things. We say no shouting, no loud noises, and really no kicking seats too, no kicking the driver's seat, especially. And all this kind of probably seems a little obvious, but I definitely that kids, they need to know what is expected of them. And if you are not a big road tripping family, or even if you are ⁓ Do this, you gotta be on top of the discipline for that. And then another ⁓ packing tip ⁓ you are and ⁓ needing to make hotel stop, ⁓ let's say you're doing a big, you 16-hour road trip and you stop the eight-hour mark to stop at the hotel. For our family, it would be ⁓ really intense to unpack the entire van for that one night. ⁓ You may need to revisit these rules to create more peace in the car. ⁓ no one's gonna want a road trip if your kids are wild banshees for 12 hours in the vehicle. no one wants that. And we certainly ⁓ do not have There are moments that are really stressful because kids are melting down and they're tired and they want to be done for the day. ⁓ But I would the majority of our road trip is not crazy. ⁓ I would agree. kids are kids. So what we have learned to do is be super strategic. Pack one duffel bag for the whole family. That's our hotel duffel bag. It's our overnight bag. ⁓ And has basically one set of jammies and one set of clothes for each person in the family. And all we have to do when we get to the hotel for that ⁓ really quick is grab that overnight bag. It's been a really nice game changer because So they have to be taught not to throw things. They have to be taught not to shout. all of that is fine because now instead I turn around and say, Hey, remember when I said don't throw things? Do you want daddy to accidentally get us in a car accident? And they are like, Yeah, I ⁓ And I might have to say that a couple times. if you're new to all this, you're probably gonna have to say a few times. Or pull over the car. if you've packed for a road trip, you usually have to pack your trunk really strategically. And it's very easy for, everybody's duffel bags and suitcase or whatever to get stuffed to the bottom. And then you set all the lighter stuff on top of it. ⁓ And if you have an overnight bag, you unload the entire trunk to pull out your suitcase or duffel bags. ⁓ And I have this mistake and it is ⁓ so annoying. It's headache. When you're exhausted. how serious I am. I'm pulling over to have this conversation right now. Uh-huh. ⁓ And it allows to not get angry and build up and just scream at somebody. it's a teaching moment. And we have to have that mentality. Yeah. I can promise you if you do it And you just want to get up to that room, but you have to make three trips. It's happened and it's awful. And don't do it. I'm just a cranky man. Yep. At very late at night. Okay, here's a quick fire question. What's one thing that can't go without on a road trip? thing you can't leave home without? ⁓ MMs. ⁓ MMs? Yeah. I thought you were gonna say you're ⁓ This way you might repeat yourself two or three times versus like fifteen times. Totally. Because you're giving the why behind the circumstance. we'll share in a moment too. We have some leverage tools that we use for disciplining some of this stuff. But one thing you could do is simply ⁓ kids who respectful of the driver, ⁓ get to that night at the hotel. trying to think of things that Your Jolly Rancher gummies. ⁓ those are like impossible to find. okay, sour Jolly Rancher gummies ⁓ are like a rare that they make for like a hot minute and then they go out for like three months and then they come back. I don't know why. It's been this way for like fifteen years. They are driving anticipation for their loyal fans. Like me. Yes. Like I have to buy them all if I see them at the store because I know there won't be any for like another year. That's funny. ⁓ Yeah, I can find them, that's really it. What's your road trip beverage of choice? ⁓ Diet Coke, hands down. I would say coffee, but if I have coffee too late in the day, ⁓ I think there's more in it and it it keeps me up at night and I don't appreciate that. Yeah. your kids would care about. Maybe you do use screens on a road trip and that's no judgment at all. I think that screens definitely could have a place. Maybe it's taking away screens for a certain kid who isn't keeping their voice down or whatever the case. But I definitely think disciplining this is is key. Absolutely. Let's talk about rules for not driving each other insane. Because yes, we have these rules, and we constantly have to remind our own children of them. but let's talk about the first one. Just respect ⁓ space. As much as you can. I mean we all are ⁓ crammed into this vehicle for how many hours? ⁓ we do ⁓ to ask everyone to keep to themselves. don't be touching, poking, you know, hitting, slapping ⁓ your or sister. keep your hands to yourself. What is your go-to drink? My go-to drink. ⁓ I would say we're gonna stop for a coffee drink, I'll usually get a ⁓ shake and ice from Starbucks. ⁓ Half calf oat milk. Yeah. ⁓ All the fancy things. in. No. I love a good Sweet iced tea for McDonald's. That really hits the spot. For a tree or a snack, ⁓ So that we don't have any problems. for the most part they're pretty good about this. there's a couple in there that definitely try to push other people's buttons. ⁓ And I think this is we use the leverage of our reward system that we have in place, or having some natural consequences like, Hey, we're having dinner and you don't get dessert tonight 'cause you didn't respect, ⁓ your sibling. I do love the lesser evil popcorn. if we just have a giant bag of popcorn in the car and we can just snack on it as we go. I also really love the bold checks mix. Although it kind of makes the car stinky. Yeah. Because with all the garlic. ⁓ So you know, forego on the stinky snacks in the car. ⁓ I do the sweet and salty checks mix. Yeah. It's like the only sweet and salty thing I like to eat. ⁓ Yeah. And usually a lesson like that, I mean it's like a one and done. okay, we're good. you see the attitude change after that because they don't like missing out on those things. And going back to how this road tripping offers character development. ⁓ in life, you have to learn how to respect other people's boundaries. ⁓ And we don't have a lot of extra seats in our 12 passenger ⁓ And so most of our kids are sitting next to other kids. And it does require them to learn self-control, learning how to respect people's personal space and boundaries. And that's a great skill to learn for life Kids generally rise to expectations. ⁓ And so some of these rules might seem obvious or things that you, of course, want your kids to do, ⁓ a lot times we just don't say them. And so kids don't even know what is truly expected of them. so you may have tried road tripping in the past and it's gone bonkers and haywire. And you were probably thought, I'm never doing this again. This is crazy. ⁓ But a different things that didn't happen. One, ⁓ You may just not have communicated clear expectations before the road trip. Two, you may not have actually disciplined in an effective way. there are ⁓ many ways that you can discipline and teach and coach your kids ⁓ so that they will change their behavior and not that again for future road trips. I think of it like accountability is another way to ponder the idea ⁓ of if you a clear expectation, I usually go back to our children and just make sure, hey, I'm just holding you accountable to what we talked about earlier and what we agreed upon ⁓ is the expectation. good. So that they can tie, like I'm not just upset with you right now or yelling at you or something. Like they can say, Hey, we're talking about this right now. ⁓ And I talked to you earlier about this and you agreed to follow along. So I'm just holding you accountable to what you said you were gonna do. ⁓ And I think that's a important skill for kids to learn as they get older Mm-hmm. Yeah, ⁓ And along that accountability, you can only hold people accountable to what they want to be held accountable to. you force anyone to be accountable. So think it comes down to the leverage piece. Like your kids have to have some kind of motivator to be held accountable. They have to be excited about something, or else they're not really gonna care that you're trying to discipline them in that moment. ⁓ so some ways that you can do that you can have special things planned, like an ice cream we do so many ice cream stops on our road trips, ⁓ we do cracker barrel stops. So let's wrap this thing up. We've probably talked your ear off way more than you've ever been talked to about road tripping. And you're welcome. You are very welcome. ⁓ We hope that this episode inspired you to ⁓ road trip with your family. ⁓ Don't wait until they ⁓ 16 to go on a road trip. can do it. ⁓ We have candy in the car that help promote kids to not ask unspeakable question. It's a rule. They can't ask this question. They cannot. They're not allowed to ask when are we going to be there? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? ⁓ Or much longer? ⁓ form that question not allowed. ⁓ Even if you have littles, like we said, we've been road tripping since our baby was like only weeks old. And we continue to road trip every single year. It is so worth it. You can make it happen if you just are very strategic and intentional about how you go about it. I think that one of the biggest myths about road trips is I think that one of the biggest myths about road trips is our system is every hour ⁓ we give ⁓ one Twizzler or one dum dum if you don't ask one of those questions. Exactly. So again, leverage, something that they actually want to be held for. They the candy. So they want to then ⁓ follow that rule. ⁓ And it actually works really well. We ⁓ That they are something that you just have to survive, that you just have to get from A to B. And if you can do that in the quick amount of time possible, then everyone will be happy. But truly, some of our favorite memories as a family, like in general, have happened on the road. And not because everything went perfectly, not because nobody got cranky, and not because every mile was like super magical. they are something that you just have to survive, that you just have to get from A to B. And if you can do that in the quick amount of time possible, then everyone will be happy. But truly, some of our favorite memories as a family, have happened on the road. And not because everything went perfectly, not because nobody got cranky, ⁓ and not because mile was like super magical. ⁓ Hardly ever have kids ask us how long is it gonna be till we get there? Or are we there yet? It was because road trips created opportunities for connection that are really hard to find anywhere else. Yeah, the goal isn't gonna be to create the absolute perfect road trip. It it's truly just creating a space that your family enjoys being together along the way It was because road trips created opportunities for connection that are really hard to find anywhere else. Yeah, the goal isn't gonna be to create the absolute perfect road trip. It it's truly just creating a space that your family enjoys being together along the way think the pool is another good opportunity for discipline and accountability because I don't know about your kids, but our kids, they like live ⁓ for the hotel pools. ⁓ we could be going to the coolest vacation site ever, but all they care about is the pool. because in life the journey is ⁓ just as enjoyable, sometimes if not even more so, ⁓ the end destination. It's so true. And it is true if we are in the middle of nowhere. Like equally as true. Yeah, it can be the coolest pool. It could be the lamest pool. As long as it's wet, they're all in. They're all in. And it is an idea of leverage, right? Of ⁓ hey, you're not going to respect other people, then sorry, but kids who aren't respectful don't get to go swimming. Yep. ⁓ And that kind of opportunity that allows us to ⁓ Yeah, so if you've been avoiding a road trip because it feels intimidating, maybe this is the summer that you're gonna start and you're gonna start small. Pick a destination, even if it's a day trip. Create a few traditions that you can stick with and just set a few easy expectations for your kids. You might be surprised at how many memories are waiting for you between here and there. Just remind them to be And I find that a lot of issues today with children, behavior wise, I think a lot of it stems from parents ⁓ not ⁓ sticking to their word when comes to discipline. Thanks for listening to the Rooted Family Podcast. We're looking forward already to seeing you next time. Yeah, we love you guys. See you next time. for example, you might say in the car to your child, okay, ⁓ all who are respectful in the car are going to get pool time tonight. ⁓ But you get to the hotel, ⁓ your are throwing a tantrum because you told them, hey, you weren't respectful, so you're not getting pool time. They're melting down. ⁓ And all want to do is just stop the meltdown. So you say, Okay, you can have the pool tonight. And what you've just done is created more chaos for tomorrow. You set the expectation that if they behave that way, they will get to the ultimate and they want. Mm-hmm. And yes, it's hard, but remember in that moment that you wanna do this over and over again. And so you're gonna have to suck it up, buttercup, for one night. But they will learn from that because they know you're gonna to what you said you were gonna do. Yeah. And they're not excited about that. No. Yeah. So to wrap up kind of this thought about rules, just know that rules on your road trip, they do help prevent problems. And which is the next fun thing we're gonna share about, traditions are actually what make kids ⁓ forward to road trips. ⁓ don't want you to feel like you can't ever do road trips because your kids are not behaving. ⁓ So I think the opposite side of that then is giving your kids exciting things to look forward to, really sweet memories and traditions you can count on. And I promise you, your road trips will start to go from really hard and maybe even miserable to really enjoyable and something like all of your kids and your family will look forward to.