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There Is A Way with Ashleigh Di Lello · The Trauma Therapist

0:00
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Trauma Theapists podcast. My name is Gamick
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Speaker 1: person I interview incredible people who've dedicated their lives to
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Speaker 1: helping those who've been impacted by trauma. A big thank
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Speaker 1: you to our sponsors and our guests who are supporting
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Speaker 1: this show. So five four, three, two and one, our folks,
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Speaker 1: welcome back to the podcast. Very excited to talk today
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Speaker 1: to Ashley Delilo. Ashley, welcome, Thank you.
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Speaker 2: I'm excited to be here.
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Speaker 1: Awesome. Ashley is a brain coach, keynote speaker, and creator
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Speaker 1: of Bioemotional Healing, a neuroscience based method that helps people
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Speaker 1: rewire their nervous systems to break free from emotional trauma,
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Speaker 1: limiting beliefs, anxiety, and unhealthy patterns. Drawn from her own
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Speaker 1: twenty year journey overcoming life threatening illness, chronic pain, and
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Speaker 1: emotional trauma, and later becoming an elite athlete and performer,
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Speaker 1: Athlete guides clients to transform entrenched brain body reactions and
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Speaker 1: create lasting chain. Her work centers on helping people shift
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Speaker 1: from survival mode into genuine self connection, confidence, and emotional
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Speaker 1: freedom through structured practical processes. All right, Ashley, just a
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Speaker 1: little bit about you before you going share with the
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Speaker 1: listeners where you're from originally and where you are currently.
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Speaker 2: I am from Utah originally and left for over ten years,
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Speaker 2: lived many different places, and now I'm back in Utah.
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Speaker 1: Okay, awesome, let's dive in. So you know, okay, just
1:33
Speaker 1: how did all this start for you?
1:35
Speaker 2: Yeah? So it started for me at the age of thirteen.
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Speaker 2: I was the epitome of health, loved life, danced five
1:42
Speaker 2: hours a day, and literally overnight I was fighting for
1:44
Speaker 2: my life. I woke up in a body that had
1:47
Speaker 2: pain and every joint and muscle a high fever. It's
1:50
Speaker 2: like I went to bed in one body and woke
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Speaker 2: up in a completely different one. And even still, when
1:56
Speaker 2: that first happened, I thought, man, I got hit with
1:59
Speaker 2: a really bad vibe, iris or flu or something. But
2:02
Speaker 2: I had no idea that that journey would be four
2:05
Speaker 2: years long of fighting for my life and it obviously
2:10
Speaker 2: there's a lot to it, but the bottom line was,
2:13
Speaker 2: you know, this was twenty nine years ago, so a
2:15
Speaker 2: very different world, right, The exposure to information that we
2:19
Speaker 2: have today didn't exist. But I went all over the
2:22
Speaker 2: country in the US, I got tested for just about
2:26
Speaker 2: everything that could be causing me to be sick, and
2:29
Speaker 2: I was a mystery. The best they could tell me
2:31
Speaker 2: was I had a rare viral infection that my body
2:35
Speaker 2: was dying from. Literally my organs were shutting down. My
2:39
Speaker 2: skin was yellow from my liver shutting down. I got
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Speaker 2: down to ninety pounds, I had lost a lot of
2:44
Speaker 2: my hair, I got to wear Some days, I couldn't
2:46
Speaker 2: even lift a finger or speak.
2:51
Speaker 1: So hang on, hang on one second. So like you said, overnight,
2:54
Speaker 1: so leading up to this, you don't have a cold,
2:58
Speaker 1: your knees not hurting, nothings. Like know.
3:02
Speaker 2: I was healthy. In fact, my nickname was the energizer
3:05
Speaker 2: Bunny because I seem to just have endless resources of energy.
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Speaker 2: The only sign I can point to is the day
3:11
Speaker 2: before I was actually getting my braces on and my
3:15
Speaker 2: elbows started to ache in a weird way that I
3:19
Speaker 2: hadn't before experience. But I just chalked it up to
3:21
Speaker 2: the position of my arms in the dental chair, right,
3:25
Speaker 2: That's the only thing. I'm like, this is weird, but
3:28
Speaker 2: maybe I've just been holding them in this stagnant position
3:30
Speaker 2: for a long time. That literally was the only thing
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Speaker 2: I can point to you as any type of sign.
3:37
Speaker 2: You know, it's kind of like how like I said,
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Speaker 2: I think a lot of us have had where we
3:40
Speaker 2: go to bed feeling good and then we'll wake up
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Speaker 2: in the morning or middle of the night and we're sick, right,
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Speaker 2: and we're like, man, crap, where did this come from?
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Speaker 1: Right?
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Speaker 2: And again that's what I thought it was with some
3:51
Speaker 2: just type of flu or virus, no idea.
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Speaker 1: And you're thirteen, yeah, and do you have like parents, siblings?
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Speaker 2: Okay, parents. I had a brother and a sister, and
4:04
Speaker 2: so of course it was a long journey for all
4:07
Speaker 2: of us. I mean, one of the hardest things about
4:10
Speaker 2: it was not knowing. You know, you know, with the brain,
4:13
Speaker 2: the brain is a predicting machine, and so you want
4:17
Speaker 2: answers because then at least you can have a path forward.
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Speaker 2: But my answers were, we don't have any answers. We
4:24
Speaker 2: know your body is dying. And so literally I was
4:28
Speaker 2: sent home to die. They said they don't know what
4:33
Speaker 2: to do for me. I was told I needed to
4:35
Speaker 2: accept I wasn't going to live past my teenage years.
4:38
Speaker 2: Oh my god, because they had no idea what to do.
4:43
Speaker 2: And this was when I really started to understand how
4:45
Speaker 2: powerful the brain was, because honestly, it helped save my life.
4:49
Speaker 2: I got so sick I was afraid to go to
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Speaker 2: sleep some nights.
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Speaker 1: I really, Oh, okay, what age are we talking now?
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Speaker 2: We're talking still in thirteen fourteen, fifteen. I teetered between
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Speaker 2: life and death for four years.
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Speaker 1: How are you? I can't imagine that as a young kid.
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Speaker 1: What is going through your mind when you hear that
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Speaker 1: that you are going to die, You're not going to
5:15
Speaker 1: live past your teens? What can you even comprehend that? Yeah?
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Speaker 2: It was, you know, as I reflect now and I
5:23
Speaker 2: have a twelve year old daughter, I can't really even
5:25
Speaker 2: fathom now as an adult, you know, going through it
5:28
Speaker 2: at that age. And I can tell you that the
5:30
Speaker 2: first time I was told that, I mean, it was
5:33
Speaker 2: absolute shock, you know, shock, How this can't be my life?
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Speaker 2: There's no way, like am I really hearing this? You know,
5:41
Speaker 2: and probably every human emotion you know you can experience,
5:45
Speaker 2: I was going through. But also for me, I not
5:47
Speaker 2: only loved life, but I loved dancing, and so to
5:51
Speaker 2: lose something I loved I felt born to do was
5:56
Speaker 2: like another death, you know, having lost ability to do
5:59
Speaker 2: that all those years. I you know, in one way,
6:03
Speaker 2: you can't comprehend it. And in another some of those
6:07
Speaker 2: survival patterns kick in, you know, And all I knew
6:10
Speaker 2: is I fell deep down inside that I was meant
6:14
Speaker 2: for more than thirteen years on this earth. And so
6:19
Speaker 2: I literally actually told this doctor that I didn't accept
6:22
Speaker 2: I was dying. And you know, then they actually sent
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Speaker 2: an a psychologist to help me come to terms with
6:28
Speaker 2: my reality.
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Speaker 1: No, you bedridden, I'm a walk and you go to
6:34
Speaker 1: the kitchen and make some toast or.
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Speaker 2: What the best. Sometimes I often had to have help
6:39
Speaker 2: to even get from my bed to the bathroom. So
6:42
Speaker 2: when I had long distances, like when I traveled to
6:44
Speaker 2: see doctors, I had to use a wheelchair because of
6:47
Speaker 2: how sick I was.
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Speaker 1: So you're out of school, You're not going to school, Jesus.
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Speaker 2: Out of school, out of dance, being tested, poked, prodded,
6:57
Speaker 2: you know, actually praying that something on tests will come.
7:00
Speaker 2: I'm out positive, right, so we have a direction, we
7:02
Speaker 2: can have a treatment plan. So this was really when
7:07
Speaker 2: I again witnessed how powerful the brain was because I
7:10
Speaker 2: would stay up at night. I would stay up and
7:13
Speaker 2: will my body to keep fighting like the nights. Yeah, yeah,
7:17
Speaker 2: I know, I'm.
7:18
Speaker 1: A discussed, well, this is where your strength starts to
7:24
Speaker 1: I mean, if it wasn't readily visible before, now this
7:29
Speaker 1: has starts. So what are you saying to yourself?
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Speaker 2: Yeah, so these were the nights where I just felt
7:34
Speaker 2: so close to dying that I really was afraid. I
7:38
Speaker 2: was ultimately afraid that if I went to sleep and
7:40
Speaker 2: surrendered that conscious will, that my body just wouldn't make it.
7:43
Speaker 2: So I would stay awake and I would keep telling
7:46
Speaker 2: my body to keep fighting, to keep healing. I would
7:50
Speaker 2: just say, you know, I know we're designed to heal,
7:53
Speaker 2: so we're going to live. I want you to keep
7:55
Speaker 2: fighting whatever this is, wo, to keep fighting. I know
7:58
Speaker 2: you're exhausted. I am.
8:00
Speaker 1: Now what were they if I mad? What were the
8:02
Speaker 1: messages coming in from your parents?
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm really grateful. You know, my parents also were
8:09
Speaker 2: incredibly supportive, and my mom especially was right alongside with
8:15
Speaker 2: me and also not giving up, you know, not accepting
8:19
Speaker 2: that this was my fate. And I'm grateful for that,
8:23
Speaker 2: right because I certainly had my hard days and my
8:25
Speaker 2: hard moments, and you know, the world and the experts
8:28
Speaker 2: and everybody's telling me that I'm facing something that's impossible
8:32
Speaker 2: to overcome. And so I definitely had a lot of
8:36
Speaker 2: inner strength that I had to replenish. But I also
8:39
Speaker 2: was really grateful that my parents too, you know, were
8:42
Speaker 2: not giving up on me or my body, because it
8:46
Speaker 2: was a long journey for all of us. You know,
8:48
Speaker 2: I went through it, but now as a mother, I
8:51
Speaker 2: can't even comprehend watching my child, you know, go through that, Yeah,
8:57
Speaker 2: for that long and all of us living in uncertainty.
9:01
Speaker 2: And you know, I was. I was a fighter, so
9:04
Speaker 2: determined to live. But I didn't understand then that the
9:09
Speaker 2: by product of living in literal survival for four years
9:15
Speaker 2: was my nervous system became altered, right, it became altered
9:19
Speaker 2: and kind of locked into survival mechanisms because it was necessary.
9:24
Speaker 2: But then I didn't really understand after I survived that
9:29
Speaker 2: that my nervous system was still staying there as a
9:33
Speaker 2: protection right in case this ever happened again. And I
9:37
Speaker 2: didn't know that, and we certainly didn't have the verbiage
9:41
Speaker 2: around the nervous system that we do now. And in
9:44
Speaker 2: one aspect, I was like, oh, seize the day I
9:46
Speaker 2: got a second chance at life, Go live my life.
9:48
Speaker 2: I went and got my education.
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Speaker 1: I so first of all, before I want to ask
9:55
Speaker 1: you when things kind of shifted. Yeah, okay, but before
10:00
Speaker 1: we get there what you said, they brought it in
10:03
Speaker 1: a psychologist to kind of prepare. What was that like
10:06
Speaker 1: for you? Yeah?
10:08
Speaker 2: I mean, gosh, here again, I'm thirteen years old, and
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Speaker 2: the one expert I told me I was going to die,
10:12
Speaker 2: and then I told them I don't accept that I'm
10:14
Speaker 2: going to die. And then here comes in this psychologist
10:17
Speaker 2: and says, you know, we believe you're living in denial
10:21
Speaker 2: of your reality. And I remember looking at her, and again,
10:25
Speaker 2: I'm this young girl, and you know, I had some
10:29
Speaker 2: understanding for where she was coming from. But at the
10:32
Speaker 2: same time, I looked at her and I said, I'm
10:34
Speaker 2: not in denial. I can feel I'm dying. I can
10:38
Speaker 2: feel that better than anybody else here. And I am
10:42
Speaker 2: terrified of that, absolutely terrified. And I also feel deep
10:48
Speaker 2: down inside that if I just accept that I'm dying,
10:52
Speaker 2: then any chance of survival is gone. And that's why
10:56
Speaker 2: I'm not going to walk out of here just saying.
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Speaker 1: You said that to hurt, I did well.
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Speaker 2: I did, which again it surprises even myself at this
11:09
Speaker 2: age looking back, but it's just amazing what the human
11:12
Speaker 2: spirit can do when it's do or die, right, And
11:16
Speaker 2: we've seen that throughout history and so many people that
11:19
Speaker 2: in a moment you have to grow up and rise
11:23
Speaker 2: to whole new levels when your life fundamentally changes. And
11:28
Speaker 2: so we left that hospital, we did not know what
11:31
Speaker 2: we were going to do. And eventually, because we exhausted
11:35
Speaker 2: all sources medically to understand like what do I have?
11:40
Speaker 2: How do we treat this? We went down a path
11:42
Speaker 2: that is more accepted today, but it essentially was, Okay,
11:46
Speaker 2: we give my immune system all the resources it can
11:49
Speaker 2: have right to heal. So food became kind of life
11:52
Speaker 2: or death to me, right. It was the food I
11:55
Speaker 2: eat either strengthens my immune system or takes from it.
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Speaker 2: You know, I was doing supplements and homeopathic medicine and
12:01
Speaker 2: acupuncture and all these modalities that back then were even
12:05
Speaker 2: more seen as tringe voodoo. Yes, and I come from
12:09
Speaker 2: a very western medicine family, and so I also credit
12:14
Speaker 2: my parents for really being like, we'll do anything, We'll
12:18
Speaker 2: do anything possible.
12:20
Speaker 1: So where'd you get that info? Yeah?
12:22
Speaker 2: And back then, right that was like yellow pages referral.
12:27
Speaker 2: You couldn't search anyone. So it really health food store. Yeah,
12:32
Speaker 2: the health food store. It was like, you're going to
12:35
Speaker 2: the lady burning incense, you know, with dreadlocks, Like, what
12:37
Speaker 2: are you doing? You know? So now, thankfully that information
12:42
Speaker 2: is so much more widespread and available, But it really
12:45
Speaker 2: was just this understanding of Okay, we have this amazing
12:48
Speaker 2: immune system, I have to fight this viral infection. How
12:52
Speaker 2: do we support it in every which way physically? And
12:55
Speaker 2: then my job also mentally and emotionally right was to
13:00
Speaker 2: not give up and fight.
13:03
Speaker 1: So what were it sounded like your parents were on board. Yes,
13:09
Speaker 1: if when we take this picture that you were presenting here,
13:13
Speaker 1: what were the ingredients that that supported you, that gave
13:17
Speaker 1: you this strength?
13:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think one of the one of the strongest
13:24
Speaker 2: was I always had a very strong belief in God.
13:27
Speaker 2: For me, I felt like I was created for a reason,
13:32
Speaker 2: and that that really, at the end of the day,
13:35
Speaker 2: is probably the greatest anchor of why I didn't give up.
13:37
Speaker 2: I just had this deep feeling in my soul, in
13:40
Speaker 2: my spirit that I was supposed to do something with
13:43
Speaker 2: my life and that required that I was going to
13:47
Speaker 2: get through and survive this unbelievable challenge. So that was
13:53
Speaker 2: absolutely my strongest anchor, especially on the days where I
13:57
Speaker 2: just was exhausted, like I mean, I'm a fighter, but
14:00
Speaker 2: you go through that year after year depletes you, and
14:03
Speaker 2: your level of belief has to keep rising and rising
14:07
Speaker 2: because your brain is pointing to all the evidence of
14:10
Speaker 2: how this isn't possible, you know. So that was my
14:14
Speaker 2: strongest And then I would say, you know, I definitely
14:19
Speaker 2: came into this world as a determined soul, and I
14:22
Speaker 2: you know, in one way, having such a love and
14:26
Speaker 2: passion for something, which was dancing at the time, and
14:30
Speaker 2: losing it it felt like torture. So in one way
14:34
Speaker 2: it was like, why should I have something I love
14:37
Speaker 2: and that I'm so good at to then be ripped
14:39
Speaker 2: away from me? And in one side it was torture,
14:43
Speaker 2: But the other side of it was I loved it
14:46
Speaker 2: so much I was determined to do it again, right
14:49
Speaker 2: because even a few experts who said, hey, you might
14:53
Speaker 2: survive this, but there's no way you're going to have
14:56
Speaker 2: that physical capacity to dance, you know.
14:59
Speaker 1: So I so crazy, this is so you are so amazing.
15:04
Speaker 1: You really are. No, come on, come on serious, No,
15:08
Speaker 1: it's it's not maybe in kind, it's you being you Jesus.
15:11
Speaker 1: Actually it's incredible. Okay, look, I would I would to
15:15
Speaker 1: let you keep talking. But at the expensive time, At
15:18
Speaker 1: what point did things start to shift?
15:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I would say about two and a half
15:24
Speaker 2: years three years in I started to have small progressions
15:29
Speaker 2: of Hey, now I can stand for longer periods of time.
15:34
Speaker 2: Now I can sit up right more and and read
15:37
Speaker 2: and hold a book. And then I started to walk
15:40
Speaker 2: a little bit more and have a little bit This
15:42
Speaker 2: was due to what all the things I think we
15:45
Speaker 2: were doing to support my immune system.
15:47
Speaker 1: It just was were you taking any medic like western
15:50
Speaker 1: medication or at.
15:52
Speaker 2: That point no, well, oh wow, no, it was it
15:55
Speaker 2: was all natural.
15:57
Speaker 1: Was there any western quote unquote physician who was in
16:02
Speaker 1: support of what you were doing?
16:04
Speaker 2: I did find one physician who actually diagnosed me originally
16:09
Speaker 2: with lime disease. He was in California. He then kind
16:13
Speaker 2: of said, actually, I don't think this is what you have.
16:19
Speaker 2: So that was, you know, but again, you're grasping at straws,
16:22
Speaker 2: and you know, you're just trying to find answers, and
16:26
Speaker 2: so at that point he was like, do whatever you
16:29
Speaker 2: can to help your body, you know, fight this. He
16:33
Speaker 2: was kind of the only one that I felt like
16:37
Speaker 2: gave me a chance you know, and listen, I get it.
16:40
Speaker 2: The tests, the way my blood work looked, my organs,
16:43
Speaker 2: it looked pretty bleak, you know, And I understand that.
16:48
Speaker 2: And you know, I lecture out at medical conferences and
16:51
Speaker 2: I tell them, like, I understand, you have to present
16:53
Speaker 2: what you see based on what you know, but you
16:57
Speaker 2: need to understand that's different than someone This is it.
17:02
Speaker 2: You have this much to live, there's no hope because
17:06
Speaker 2: history has shown over and over again that belief and
17:09
Speaker 2: expectation are more powerful than just about anything else. And
17:13
Speaker 2: depending on the person, what you tell them in those
17:17
Speaker 2: critical moments very much shapes then how they handle it
17:21
Speaker 2: and what they believe is possible. So I was also
17:24
Speaker 2: very grateful that I just had a disposition that didn't
17:29
Speaker 2: just take ownership of what I was told, because it's
17:32
Speaker 2: a very influential place to be, especially when someone is
17:36
Speaker 2: very vulnerable and seeking answers.
17:39
Speaker 1: Yeah.
17:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I'm very adamant about not putting limitations as
17:44
Speaker 2: permanent when they very much can be present. And I
17:48
Speaker 2: get that, but not saying you're the end all, be
17:51
Speaker 2: all and deciding what that person's future is.
17:54
Speaker 1: Right, right, Okay, So you start things start to start
17:59
Speaker 1: to be in happy. How does that unfold? What does
18:02
Speaker 1: that look like?
18:03
Speaker 2: It's very slow, very very slow in its progression. Like
18:07
Speaker 2: I said, symptoms started to get a little bit better.
18:09
Speaker 2: I started to have a little bit more energy, a
18:11
Speaker 2: little bit more strength. And that was the journey. It
18:15
Speaker 2: was very slow.
18:17
Speaker 1: And did you go back to school at some point?
18:19
Speaker 2: I eventually did go back to school. I was able
18:22
Speaker 2: to go back intermittently my junior year of high school,
18:27
Speaker 2: but not full time. But and then I went back
18:30
Speaker 2: more my senior year, and then I when I my
18:33
Speaker 2: freshman year in college, I still was kind of in
18:37
Speaker 2: and out. I had to move home for a little bit.
18:39
Speaker 2: I was trying to live in the dorms and so forth.
18:42
Speaker 2: But then finally near the end of my freshman year
18:44
Speaker 2: in college, I really felt like, all right, I'm healthy,
18:49
Speaker 2: Like I passed that threshold of feeling like I was
18:53
Speaker 2: on solid ground and that my body really had gotten
18:57
Speaker 2: to the other side.
18:59
Speaker 1: When you who were in college, what were you thinking
19:03
Speaker 1: about studying? What did you want to Yeah?
19:06
Speaker 2: I first started in actually wanting to do like infectious
19:10
Speaker 2: disease and internal medicine, right. I wanted to be that
19:13
Speaker 2: type of physician that dealt with the confusing, mysterious cases,
19:18
Speaker 2: and it made sense. But as I started down that path,
19:21
Speaker 2: I also at that time knew I was too emotionally
19:25
Speaker 2: attached to it and could tell that I would not
19:29
Speaker 2: be able to leave my work at the office right
19:31
Speaker 2: because I was still very traumatized by that whole experience
19:35
Speaker 2: and it was so personal. I could feel that I
19:38
Speaker 2: would lose my life to the pursuit of trying to
19:41
Speaker 2: get other people well. And so I actually stepped away
19:46
Speaker 2: from that and studied another passion of mine, which was
19:50
Speaker 2: a total different political science and history. So that's what
19:54
Speaker 2: I ended up studying at that time, not knowing eventually
19:58
Speaker 2: life would lead me back to neuro of science because
20:01
Speaker 2: of my second journey I went through in my thirties,
20:05
Speaker 2: which I thought nearly dying for four years was the
20:09
Speaker 2: hardest thing I could ever go through. But in all honesty,
20:13
Speaker 2: going through my second journey, which is where I lost
20:16
Speaker 2: ability to walk because of chronic pain and living in
20:19
Speaker 2: unrelenting nerve pain in over ten years, this was another journey,
20:24
Speaker 2: another journey.
20:25
Speaker 1: What was the onset? When did this happen? Yes?
20:28
Speaker 2: So I got healthy. I had an amazing professional dance
20:31
Speaker 2: career on TV and Broadway and of course wow, yeah,
20:37
Speaker 2: so kind of like reach the top of my mountain.
20:40
Speaker 2: You know, what of it?
20:42
Speaker 1: What? Broadway?
20:44
Speaker 2: Broadway?
20:44
Speaker 1: Yes, well how did you get that?
20:47
Speaker 2: Well, that came from I was on my husband and
20:49
Speaker 2: I who was my professional partner in ballroom dancing, which
20:53
Speaker 2: everybody knows now because of Dancing with the Stars. We
20:56
Speaker 2: actually both made the show So You Think You Can Dance,
20:59
Speaker 2: which was really big back.
21:01
Speaker 1: Wow, wait a minute, you were on Dancing with the Stars.
21:03
Speaker 2: I was as a performer. I never had a celest Wow.
21:06
Speaker 2: And I came on and guest performed.
21:08
Speaker 1: Yeah damn you thought, wasn't in your bio?
21:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so we got a Broadway show from So
21:18
Speaker 2: I Think You Can Dance. My husband I both went
21:19
Speaker 2: to the finale in that and then we go and
21:22
Speaker 2: do eight shows a week, you know, which is so rigorous,
21:26
Speaker 2: a very intense show. It was all ballroom dancing. A
21:29
Speaker 2: lot of the pros on Dance with the Stars were
21:31
Speaker 2: in our cast and it was amazing. I mean it
21:34
Speaker 2: was like wow to be here after being out of dance.
21:37
Speaker 2: I was out of dance for six years, so to
21:39
Speaker 2: come back and have this type of career was really
21:43
Speaker 2: like wow. Pinch me moments, you know, over and over again.
21:47
Speaker 2: But that had an impact on my body. Right, eight
21:49
Speaker 2: shows a week, dancing ten to twelve hours a day
21:52
Speaker 2: on so I think you can dance like it took
21:54
Speaker 2: a toll. So I had my first hip surgery at
21:58
Speaker 2: twenty eight years old, and then that was successful, I
22:03
Speaker 2: had to learn how to walk again. I got back
22:04
Speaker 2: to my career, and then I had to do the
22:06
Speaker 2: other hip when I was thirty two, and I thought, well,
22:11
Speaker 2: this will go like the other one, and it didn't.
22:13
Speaker 2: It failed, and it launched my whole body into chronic pain,
22:18
Speaker 2: and I lost a billity to walk, and I lost
22:21
Speaker 2: my career, and my daughter was two years old and
22:24
Speaker 2: I couldn't hold her. And I had even a fitness
22:29
Speaker 2: app that because fitness had been my way. Strength training
22:33
Speaker 2: had been my way back to dance again, to be
22:35
Speaker 2: strong and capable, and I lost that overnight, and it
22:39
Speaker 2: was a very deja vous right of here we are again,
22:45
Speaker 2: but different, you know, in one way, of course, very
22:47
Speaker 2: grateful I'm not fighting for my life. But in the
22:50
Speaker 2: other way, after years of unrelenting pain, sleeping two to
22:55
Speaker 2: three hours and night, yeah, that's a type of hell
22:59
Speaker 2: where literally like death starts to feel merciful, you know.
23:05
Speaker 2: And I did everything. I thought, Okay, we've got this,
23:07
Speaker 2: I've done this before. The body's amazing. I threw everything
23:10
Speaker 2: at it, Western Eastern Alternative, regenerative stem cell prolot there,
23:14
Speaker 2: but you know, all the things, all the biohacking, totally
23:17
Speaker 2: anti inflammatory, diet, everything, and I got diagnosed with over
23:21
Speaker 2: five different chronic pain conditions. Again told this is my
23:24
Speaker 2: life now, and I wasn't getting well no matter what
23:28
Speaker 2: we were doing, I wasn't getting well. And that's when
23:33
Speaker 2: it literally broke me because I was going through this
23:35
Speaker 2: but now as a wife and as a mother, and
23:38
Speaker 2: my family's going through this, and we're going to lose
23:41
Speaker 2: our home because we're pouring all of our finances into
23:44
Speaker 2: all of these treatments that insurance doesn't cover. And it
23:49
Speaker 2: was literally when I got my closest to wanting to
23:53
Speaker 2: give up, which scared me because I had been that
23:56
Speaker 2: person who refused to give up. This literally eroded every
24:02
Speaker 2: part of me. I mean I was sleeping two or
24:03
Speaker 2: three hours a night because of the pain, you know,
24:06
Speaker 2: barely can't really walk, can't really function. And that night
24:12
Speaker 2: when I really sat in the truth of what that
24:14
Speaker 2: would look like for my family if I stopped searching
24:17
Speaker 2: for answers. I wasn't okay with that, you know, that
24:21
Speaker 2: thirteen year old girl and me was like, no, there
24:23
Speaker 2: has to be a way. So, as I was thinking
24:26
Speaker 2: about all the conditions I'd been diagnosed with, the collective
24:29
Speaker 2: idea was your nervous system flipped a switch into pain,
24:34
Speaker 2: and so I thought, I'm going to figure out how
24:36
Speaker 2: to flip it back. And since at that point I
24:39
Speaker 2: knew all pain came from the brain, even though it's
24:42
Speaker 2: felt in the body, the brain is the creator of it,
24:45
Speaker 2: I thought, well, I'm going to study the brain. And
24:47
Speaker 2: so the very next day I started studying the brain
24:49
Speaker 2: in neuroscience and pain science and how the nervous system
24:53
Speaker 2: gets altered. And that's when I understood it wasn't just
24:57
Speaker 2: that failed to hip surgery was the catalyst, but my
25:00
Speaker 2: brain was cross referencing the impact of fighting for my
25:03
Speaker 2: life for four years. That helped also influence my nervous
25:07
Speaker 2: system kind of going into survival mechanisms on overdrive, which
25:11
Speaker 2: of course sends stress signals, which is going to amplify pain,
25:15
Speaker 2: and then those pain receptors get influenced and I realized
25:21
Speaker 2: I can't just heal this by treating the physical body.
25:24
Speaker 2: We've got to address this from this biopsychosocial impact of
25:29
Speaker 2: my brain and my body and me as a person.
25:32
Speaker 2: And that's when I thought, well, what's the process to
25:34
Speaker 2: do this? Because I've tried all these modalities, none of
25:37
Speaker 2: them have worked, and so literally, to save my own life,
25:41
Speaker 2: I started merging all the neuroscience and pain science with
25:44
Speaker 2: my lived experience and started to create a process called
25:48
Speaker 2: bioemotional healing to rewire the nervous system. And as I
25:54
Speaker 2: was doing this and being my own guinea pig and
25:57
Speaker 2: starting to experience the impact, I also knew that this
26:00
Speaker 2: was what I was supposed to do the rest of
26:02
Speaker 2: my life. And now for eight years, I've helped other
26:05
Speaker 2: clients get free from all types of physical, mental, and
26:10
Speaker 2: emotional pain. You know where their nervous system gets altered
26:13
Speaker 2: now from trauma altered into anxiety, addictions, right depression, autoimmune,
26:20
Speaker 2: gut issues, all degree, because that nervous system really is
26:23
Speaker 2: that root source that's driving those alarm bells into breakdown.
26:28
Speaker 2: So round two brought me to the work that I
26:33
Speaker 2: do today, and now I really do feel free I
26:39
Speaker 2: really feel like I've feeled the impact of everything that
26:44
Speaker 2: I've gone through, and my nervous system is different, and
26:49
Speaker 2: it's been a journey, but it's really incredible what the
26:54
Speaker 2: brain and body and soul cannot just overcome and survive,
26:59
Speaker 2: but really heal from so we don't have to live
27:02
Speaker 2: the rest of our life like it damaged from those experiences.
27:10
Speaker 1: You are seriously one of the most incredible people I've
27:13
Speaker 1: spoken with. Oh you're and inspiring people. So who do
27:21
Speaker 1: you work with? Now? How do you work with them?
27:23
Speaker 1: Is it one on one is a group?
27:25
Speaker 2: What I do? I have both both available, right, because
27:30
Speaker 2: some of my clients they want that privacy of one
27:33
Speaker 2: on one through the whole process. So bio emotional healing
27:36
Speaker 2: is a twelve week comprehensive process. So every client moves
27:40
Speaker 2: through that process and it's one week at a time.
27:44
Speaker 2: So that process is in an online portal that's private
27:47
Speaker 2: to my clients, right, that's the knowledge, the information, the plan.
27:51
Speaker 2: So everyone moves through that and then either they move
27:55
Speaker 2: through it with working with me as well one on
27:58
Speaker 2: one each week on a coaching session, usually on Zoom
28:01
Speaker 2: because my clients are all over the world, or they
28:04
Speaker 2: move through the process in a combination of a small
28:08
Speaker 2: group with someone on one session throughout so that we
28:12
Speaker 2: make sure we're getting those personal one on one touches
28:15
Speaker 2: as well.
28:17
Speaker 1: When and people come to you because they're experiencing.
28:21
Speaker 2: What, yeah, wonderful question. My clients are really the people
28:26
Speaker 2: who are like, I've done everything. So I have clients
28:29
Speaker 2: who've done years of therapy trying to heal their anxiety right,
28:33
Speaker 2: and their anxiety has just gotten worse and now they're
28:36
Speaker 2: having panic attacks or depression, or people who've gone through
28:39
Speaker 2: a lot of trauma and they feel like they haven't
28:42
Speaker 2: been able to get over it right. Those triggers are
28:44
Speaker 2: still there. I have clients with addictions, OCD behaviors, so
28:51
Speaker 2: all degree of the mental and emotional aspects. But I
28:56
Speaker 2: also have some clients who are like, I just fill
28:58
Speaker 2: these blocks and bearers, I can't get passed. But most
29:00
Speaker 2: of them are like, this is my last resort if
29:03
Speaker 2: I'm being trickful. And then I have clients with all
29:06
Speaker 2: degrees of physical challenges. Obviously I get a lot of
29:09
Speaker 2: chronic pain, it's part of my story, but I also
29:11
Speaker 2: get autoimmune issues, gut issues, historine intolerances. I mean all
29:17
Speaker 2: degree of kind of those ongoing health challenges that they
29:22
Speaker 2: have everything online right, nutrition protocols, supplement, they've done all
29:26
Speaker 2: the detoxes, treatments, and they're still not getting well right,
29:31
Speaker 2: And that's when they come and they realize, you know,
29:34
Speaker 2: I need to maybe approach this from a brain aspect,
29:37
Speaker 2: a nervous system aspect, and emotional aspect, because when you
29:43
Speaker 2: go through prolonged physical, mental, or emotional stress, no matter
29:48
Speaker 2: who you are, your nervous system is being altered and
29:52
Speaker 2: impacted because you're in survival patterns. That impact is being
29:57
Speaker 2: registered in the brain and that amplify all those protective
30:01
Speaker 2: signals and then at one point they get turned to
30:03
Speaker 2: that on position, which keeps us in those stressful patterns
30:07
Speaker 2: and in that physical breakdown. And that was really hard
30:10
Speaker 2: for me to accept that no matter how tough or
30:14
Speaker 2: faithful I was, there was this byproduct in my nervous
30:19
Speaker 2: system that I now needed to heal. But the beautiful
30:23
Speaker 2: part of that is we can heal that and then
30:25
Speaker 2: the brain and body really are aligned for healing. So
30:29
Speaker 2: when you think you've done everything, this is that root
30:32
Speaker 2: piece that has been the game changer, not just for me,
30:36
Speaker 2: but I've just seen clients from age fifteen to eighty
30:39
Speaker 2: three defy the same odds in their.
30:43
Speaker 1: Wow, and forgive me for reviewing this again, but the
30:47
Speaker 1: lens that you're looking at through this is what is
30:53
Speaker 1: the brain.
30:54
Speaker 2: The brain and so the nervous system, right, which is
30:57
Speaker 2: how the brain and body communicate. So we're looking through it.
31:02
Speaker 2: What we're really doing is treating the brain, right, how
31:05
Speaker 2: those fear and defense networks essentially in the brain have
31:08
Speaker 2: been altered and how do we start to heal those
31:10
Speaker 2: But also, simultaneously the emotional impact on the body, right,
31:16
Speaker 2: because that's the language of the human body, is how
31:20
Speaker 2: the emotions get stored there, the unresolved emotions, trauma impact
31:25
Speaker 2: because the nervous system is that constant communication loop between both.
31:29
Speaker 2: So we're addressing those aspects simultaneously, and essentially we're first
31:38
Speaker 2: identifying the physical psychological components that have altered their nervous
31:43
Speaker 2: system into stress, right, because we're treating the human really,
31:47
Speaker 2: we're not just going, oh, you have a symptom, let's
31:49
Speaker 2: look at that. We're going, okay, let's look at your life.
31:52
Speaker 2: Let's look at the impact of all of it, because
31:54
Speaker 2: your brain is taking all of it into account and
31:57
Speaker 2: descending what type of stress to go and where and
32:01
Speaker 2: how severe. But also just my client's understanding, your brain
32:05
Speaker 2: gets better at whatever it practices. So that's why anxiety
32:10
Speaker 2: gets worse, depression gets worse, pain gets worse, gut issues
32:13
Speaker 2: get worse. It's not just that we're broken, it's that, hey,
32:18
Speaker 2: we're so adaptive that whatever those nerve signals get practiced,
32:22
Speaker 2: the brain and body adapt and that becomes the norm.
32:25
Speaker 2: And so having the tools and practices to not just
32:30
Speaker 2: shift how those internal alarm bells have been turned to
32:34
Speaker 2: the on position, but having practices that now start to
32:38
Speaker 2: bring new input. All of it works together to get
32:42
Speaker 2: the brain to finally accept it can let go of
32:45
Speaker 2: these survival patterns. And then we have these steps and
32:49
Speaker 2: practices in place to teach it a new operating system,
32:53
Speaker 2: to rewire it, not just regulate it, but really change it. Right,
32:58
Speaker 2: because I don't have pain anymore more. I don't just
33:01
Speaker 2: know how to manage it, which was part of the process, right,
33:05
Speaker 2: But now I can be free of it. And that's
33:09
Speaker 2: the goal, is that we really get to change and
33:13
Speaker 2: heal in a way that we get to go to
33:16
Speaker 2: the other side and now take the strength and the wisdom,
33:19
Speaker 2: but get free from it being part of our everyday life.
33:23
Speaker 2: And I just know that I'm not the exception to that.
33:27
Speaker 2: And that's what by emotional healing is. It's a process
33:31
Speaker 2: that I did that my clients follow. And the mechanisms
33:35
Speaker 2: of the brain and nervous system are the same in
33:37
Speaker 2: each of us. So while of course I have a
33:40
Speaker 2: different personality, I might have different beliefs from my clients,
33:44
Speaker 2: these mechanisms that I teach them how to harness, it
33:47
Speaker 2: is the same between all of us. And that's why
33:50
Speaker 2: the brain really is our greatest asset and our greatest
33:54
Speaker 2: equalizer to being able to heal.
33:57
Speaker 1: I love it all. Right, let's wrap up your how
33:59
Speaker 1: to people learn more about you and what you're doing.
34:02
Speaker 2: Yes, best place is they can go to my website,
34:07
Speaker 2: which is my name. I'm sure you'll link that in
34:09
Speaker 2: the show notes Ashleydlelo dot com. You can also search
34:13
Speaker 2: bio emotional healing and that will lead you to me.
34:17
Speaker 2: On my website. I have a free Brain Body blueprint.
34:20
Speaker 2: That's a great place to start to start to give
34:23
Speaker 2: you some actionable steps, and I have a deeper training
34:27
Speaker 2: on the brain because the more you can understand how
34:29
Speaker 2: the brain works, the more you realize you're not broken,
34:32
Speaker 2: You're just your brain is stuck in some patterns, and
34:34
Speaker 2: we can change that. And then my social media is
34:38
Speaker 2: my name. And then anyone who finds themselves, you know,
34:42
Speaker 2: is stuck trying all the things and really wants to change,
34:45
Speaker 2: they can schedule a free consultation because we have that
34:48
Speaker 2: first to make sure it's a good fit on both sides,
34:51
Speaker 2: and then if it is, we move forward and you
34:54
Speaker 2: get to change and heal faster than you think you can.
34:57
Speaker 2: You know, when we have the right tools instead, it
35:01
Speaker 2: really is possible. And I don't say that lightly because
35:06
Speaker 2: I know what the depths of suffering feels like. But
35:09
Speaker 2: I've also now for eight years, witnessed other people be
35:12
Speaker 2: able to do the same thing I have.
35:14
Speaker 1: Well, all right, Ashlely, love to have you back at
35:18
Speaker 1: a later date. You are nothing sure, seriously, you mean
35:23
Speaker 1: you're so freaking inspiring. Thank you for being here.
35:26
Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much. I would love to come back,
35:29
Speaker 2: all
35:29
Speaker 1: Right, thank you, thank you,