Latest / Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk / PSA, Operation Separation - The Mission Ended, You Didn't

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PSA, Operation Separation - The Mission Ended, You Didn't · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

• 0:00
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  Good morning, Welcome to the world of conscious positive
• 0:19
  thinking with MJ, where your thoughts become your power and
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  your mindset becomes your compass.
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  MJ is here to guide you through a journey of self-awareness,
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  emotional mastery, and empowered living.
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  Find us on the web at NB Radio. dot US.
• 2:17
  Hello, welcome. Welcome to military broadcast
• 2:21
  radio. My name is MJ and this is my
• 2:26
  little section of NBRI. Call it 2 cap the world of
• 2:29
  conscious positive thinking and I am on the complete wrong day,
• 2:33
  wrong time, wrong everything. Yes, I'm doing APSA tonight.
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  I am donating another part of my time for my brothers and sisters
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  of arms. I've been there.
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  I can tell you some of your feelings that you're feeling.
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  I've healed and it took me a long time.
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  It wasn't overnight. And I felt that as I was
• 3:00
  watching everybody show it, I felt a real importance.
• 3:05
  I felt a real importance for me to come on with APSA and that
• 3:11
  PSA tonight, we call it Operation Separation.
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  The mission ended, you didn't. Now why is that?
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  That's what we really want to dig into.
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  We want to get into the Nitty Gritty's.
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  We want to find out what's ticking for our beautiful
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  veterans who served honorably to be upset, depressed, sad.
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  So tonight during this, I want to speak directly to the
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  veterans, but that doesn't mean if you're watching, you're not a
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  veteran. I want you to because if you're
• 3:54
  not a veteran, right, stay here because maybe you're married to
• 3:58
  1, maybe your parents served, maybe your child served, or
• 4:07
  maybe it's a brother, sister, friend or Co worker who served.
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  And maybe you're watching that veteran and you thought, what
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  the hell is the matter with these people?
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  What is going on? Why do things bother them like
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  that? Does that sound familiar?
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  Why does everything have to be right?
• 4:30
  Why does everything have to be now?
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  Why do they get so frustrated when plans change on them?
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  Why does disorder bother them so much?
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  And why do they work like the building's going to collapse any
• 4:48
  damn minute and they didn't get to finish today, huh?
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  What is all that about, right? Or maybe you've even thought
• 5:00
  what the hell is going on inside of their head tonight?
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  I laugh because I was there. So tonight perhaps you'll
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  understand a little more. And if you recognize your
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  veteran tonight with any of this, you're not to use it as
• 5:21
  ammunition against them. You hear me?
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  Family, friends, Co workers. OK, Don't be running into the
• 5:26
  other room going MJ, just tell me what's wrong with you.
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  I did not. And I will go to Egypt to
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  denial, denial, denial. That's not our mission and it's
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  not going to be our mission tonight is to I hope that you
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  can clearly listen, become aware, ask your questions, maybe
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  sit beside them instead of across from them.
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  Because sometimes, sometimes the veteran doesn't even understand
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  the reaction either. So now, veterans, I'm coming to
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  you. I've walked in your shoes.
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  Have you ever walked in a civilian workplace after that
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  DD214, that DD214 and thought what the hell is going on here?
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  What dream am I in? What did I just pick up as a
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  job? Where the hell is the structure?
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  Who? Who owns this?
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  Who is in charge? Why are people missing deadlines
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  and why isn't anybody having a punishment or, you know, some
• 6:43
  type of strictly speaking to when they're not doing their
• 6:47
  job? And why am I sitting here
• 6:49
  picking up their slack as a unit?
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  And then you wonder, the person who missed the deadline and is
• 6:58
  the slacker, they're not going to come in today.
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  And you go, wait, is there something wrong?
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  Are they in the Infirmary? Why?
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  Oh, no, no, no. They just took a PTO day.
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  I gotta say it with. And you're like, what the hell
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  is a PTO day? God, veterans, I God love us.
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  We don't get PTO days. Now this one's working from
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  home. You're allowed to work from your
• 7:26
  bunks. Wait, what?
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  Wow. Yeah, she's not available today.
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  She's unavailable. In fact, she doesn't like her
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  schedule or he doesn't like her schedule, so they're going to
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  just change some dates around. Yeah, that's OK.
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  And then the veteran is sitting there thinking, does anybody
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  flipping actually work anymore? Where's the accountability?
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  Where are the consequences and how do you miss deadlines?
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  And nothing, nothing bothers anybody.
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  Nothing happens. And they get talking to you by
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  their supervisor or their manager or their boss going, oh,
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  it's OK. Well, hurry up, though, OK.
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  I mean, we kind of put this date so, you know, you need to speed
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  some things up. And what do we do?
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  What does military people do? We're on a mission.
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  This is a mission. And so we pull up everybody's
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  slack, right? Because we're the battle buddy.
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  We pull everybody's slack up. Wow.
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  Because why? The job has to get done and
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  that's how stern and how firm we are.
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  Then we go home. So you had this blister of a day
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  thinking that something, it's a dream.
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  You can't even imagine. This is your work day.
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  There's not timeline schedules. People aren't where they're
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  supposed to be. Things aren't done.
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  And now we go home. First thing you do is you open
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  up that door and there's your children's shoes in the way.
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  So of course you pick them up. They're kids, right?
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  Yeah. So you put them to the side.
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  And now as you go, the dog is begging to go out because nobody
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  could be bothered to put the dog out.
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  So now you take that big old deep breath and you start
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  putting the dog out and now it's 6:30 at night and you don't even
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  smell food cooking. They're like what the hell?
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  You go over and you see your wife sitting at the table with
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  your other child doing homework, but you can't fathom what the
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  hell happened. Why is dinner not being made?
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  I understand children work, get it?
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  But we also, we at this hour, the kids must be hungry.
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  You must be hungry. Oh, no, no, no.
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  We had a snack. We had.
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  We had a snack about 4430. The house is complete and utter
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  disaster. Nothing is picked up, put away.
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  Here comes that voice inside that head again.
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  Does anybody see this? And am I the only person who is
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  finishing anything today? What the hell is happening?
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  And why do I have to tell everybody what needs to be done?
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  Do we not have our own brain here?
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  Can we not understand that things have to be put done?
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  Veteran, you recognizing anything here?
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  Family, You recognize anybody? Is anything clicking?
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  Yeah. Now we're ready, because what
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  just happened? We walked into another
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  environment carrying our rules, our labels, our boxes.
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  Yep. And then we measured everybody
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  else against our rules. But yet they didn't have to meet
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  those same rules, right? That's judgement.
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  You're lazy. You don't even care.
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  Nobody has discipline in this damn house.
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  And then ego walks in. Don't tell me what I'm supposed
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  to do, and don't tell me how this is supposed to work.
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  I understand responsibility and I understand your deadlines and
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  I know I have to get the damn thing done.
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  I understand the mission. Do you?
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  And when everybody refuses to operate according to what you
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  know, now we have strife. Now as a veteran, I'm irritated
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  and now I'm fighting at work, I'm fighting at home.
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  The whole time I'm saying you are the problem.
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  But every time you point, look at those 3 bullets, one goes to
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  the heart, one goes to the throat, and the other one
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  straight to the head. OK Sarge, let's turn the
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  inspection around now. OK.
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  What are we carrying with us as veterans?
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  I know what I was carrying. What are you carrying?
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  Why does this affect me so strongly?
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  Ask yourself best questions, why does disorder create this
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  reaction and why does somebody else behavior create this much
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  movement inside of me? So obviously we can talk about
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  what you've seen as veterans. You can say people don't
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  understand veterans say that about civilian work, but then in
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  the civilian world, they look at veterans, they roll their eyes
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  and they're like, oh, of course it's a veteran.
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  Get it from both sides. And I know you do too.
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  So I'm truly with you all. I I understand it because when
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  we separate, we separate with a piece of paper and we either
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  knew we were leaving or we were forced to leave, right?
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  You know, sometimes when you come home, things aren't the
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  same or maybe they're exactly the same.
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  So when veterans come back going, I fought it in the front
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  line. I got blown up.
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  My parts and pieces are missing. And you people, nothing has
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  changed with you, right? Go on your happy little merry
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  way. And the civilians are going, oh,
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  my God, do we nearly need the military?
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  They have no idea that you, we're a civilian before you even
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  said I do solemnly swear to serve God, country and mankind.
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  Think about you, the civilian. That's what you were.
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  You were a civilian. You had the rules, you had all
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  these things. And then you got pickled, right?
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  You got pickled. Welcome to Pickle Hood.
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  What does pickling mean? Pickling means you are stripped
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  from everything. Your hair, your clothing, your
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  jewelry. You just got pickled.
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  So everything you learned from the time that you spit out on
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  the face of this earth and took your first breath is now gone.
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  And then you can hear the civilian world saying, oh, they
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  brainwashed you. Really.
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  Really. So now we're against the one
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  thing that gave me shelter, gave me food, gave me a paycheck,
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  gave me a belonging, gave me a mission and gave me a purpose.
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  Yeah. So this is where I started
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  asking whether there was another piece that we aren't looking at.
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  I call that the mission. I'm not here tonight to say that
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  psychology is wrong, and I am not here to say that medicine or
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  science is wrong. And I am sure as hell not here
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  to say that veteran programs are wrong.
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  I am asking whether there's another piece that you've been
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  carrying that nobody has ever looked at.
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  What is underneath what we're already seeing.
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  Because Operation Separation isn't about finding veterans
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  another enemy. They don't need that in their
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  life, trust me. You've already learned how to
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  fight, soldier. I'm interested in why are you
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  still fighting after your mission ended.
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  And before I even go any further, I want to establish
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  something tonight. My work tonight is the work that
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  I used to do in Miami with my PTSD vets.
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  Yep, it is spiritual and divinely counseling.
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  It is of consciousness. It's about patterns, obstacles
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  and balance. I have watched myself with vets
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  on one-on-one and I'm going to do tonight what I do with them
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  just a little bit easier because you just have to listen and if
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  something sparks you, you write it down.
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  That's the mission tonight. This isn't an emergency
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  psychiatric or medical treatment.
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  Some questions tonight, though, may bring something forward.
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  That's really uncomfortable. That's very emotional.
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  You control how deeply you go OK?
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  And if something becomes very overwhelming, you stop and you
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  shut me down immediately. And if you're even thinking
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  about hurting or harming yourself because it came up 988
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  immediately, because tonight we are going to become aware and I
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  might spark something. You don't have to heal your
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  entire life by 9:00 tonight, and you don't have to heal your
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  entire life by tomorrow or Saturday or Sunday or Monday.
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  No, God forbid, no. Your awareness is what's going
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  to count. OK, All right, so when we come
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  back, we're going to go deep and we're going to go backwards
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  before your DD214, before your Sergeant, before your basic
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  training and before Uncle Sam, because before we understand who
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  walked out and raised your hand, we need to know who exactly
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  walked in. Folks, my name is MJ Gonzalez.
• 19:31
  This is Operation Separation. It's the mission has ended and
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  you didn't. And we're right here on the
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  beautiful military broadcast radio allowing this special PSA
• 19:42
  tonight. My show is called The World of
• 19:45
  Conscious Positive Thinking. It's on Mondays.
• 19:48
  We're going to take a really quick break.
• 19:49
  And then when we come back, we're going to go deep.
• 19:54
  And I really want you guys to hear a song.
• 19:57
  It was by Joel Hunt. He created it.
• 20:00
  And that song is I never really came back home.
• 20:04
  I want you to hear it. Listen to the words.
• 20:07
  This is a veteran song. These are his words.
• 20:13
  We'll be right back. They thank me for my service.
• 24:26
  The station where our veterans voices are heard MBR talk.
• 24:31
  Hey, thanks for supporting our channel by watching and
• 24:34
  listening. Hey, welcome back.
• 24:44
  Welcome back. I'm MJ here.
• 24:46
  This is APSA operation Separation.
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  And before we took that break, we inspected the veteran who
• 24:56
  walked out. We awful inspected the family.
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  Now let's meet the human who walked in.
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  OK. Uncle Sam didn't receive an
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  empty human. You made a choice.
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  You made a choice. You raised your right hand, just
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  like I did. I do solemnly swear to protect
• 25:15
  my country, God and mankind. That means 24/7 you don't own
• 25:21
  you. Uncle Sam didn't receive
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  somebody who didn't have events or experiences.
• 25:31
  We were 1818 years of civilian hood.
• 25:35
  And sometimes people came all the way up until they were 3032
• 25:37
  years old, right? I've had some people who were
• 25:39
  30s, first time in the military. They have long civilian life.
• 25:47
  So before the uniform, there was a family that you came from,
• 25:52
  right? Mom, dad, sisters, brothers,
• 25:55
  aunts, uncles. You had a home, had school, had
• 25:59
  friends. Maybe you maybe you already
• 26:04
  experienced loss, rejection, success, failure, belonging.
• 26:13
  Maybe you were bullied. Or maybe you were the bully.
• 26:18
  Maybe you had to experience divorce as a kid.
• 26:22
  Yeah, maybe you had to experience death and maybe there
• 26:28
  was such instability within your life and your experiences.
• 26:34
  But then again, maybe you had a wonderful childhood.
• 26:37
  Nobody who comes did not have an event.
• 26:42
  Everybody arise with something different.
• 26:46
  I want to pause for a minute right there.
• 26:47
  Can you imagine a million soldiers coming into a missional
• 26:53
  job that you chose? And the only people who weren't
• 26:59
  chosen to go into the military was probably somebody who was
• 27:04
  like a juvenile delinquent who then were forced as after they
• 27:08
  came out of their jail or their prison term needed to go in and
• 27:12
  serve, right? Get your order together, right?
• 27:18
  But we all came in with something and then ask, why did
• 27:25
  I enlist? Ask yourself that question.
• 27:32
  Your career, education, money. Maybe your whole ancestral line
• 27:47
  was family tradition. You didn't have a choice there
• 27:50
  either, because then you've been the odd man out.
• 27:52
  And God, you're only a kid. 18 maybe you thought adventure.
• 27:59
  Oh, I get to travel. Look at how I can go all over
• 28:02
  the place. 10 bucks on a plane and I get to go anywhere in the
• 28:04
  United States and 20 overseas. Maybe you needed to escape.
• 28:12
  Maybe that was your choice, just to find another way out with no
• 28:19
  money, no job, just graduating. Maybe you, you felt like you
• 28:26
  didn't know who you were. You didn't belong to anything.
• 28:30
  You didn't choose Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, 4H S.
• 28:33
  You didn't choose any of those. Maybe in school you didn't
• 28:37
  choose to be an athletic person or a bandy or a theatre or
• 28:43
  chorus, right? Let's not forget the boxes in
• 28:47
  school with the bullying's, right?
• 28:50
  Or maybe we just didn't have a direction.
• 28:53
  Every time somebody asked you. What are you gonna do when you
• 28:55
  graduate? What are you gonna do?
• 28:56
  What are you gonna do? Blah, blah.
• 28:58
  How many times you heard that one?
• 28:59
  What are you gonna go to college?
• 29:00
  What are you gonna go to college for?
• 29:02
  What do you you have to do something.
• 29:03
  What are you gonna do? You're not gonna just sit here.
• 29:06
  Maybe you need a direction so the nagging would stop.
• 29:09
  I I don't know, but who walked through that gate?
• 29:17
  So I I wouldn't be able to sit here today if I didn't tell you
• 29:24
  some of those for me who I walked in with, right, Just to
• 29:28
  prove how far you can heal yourself.
• 29:32
  So 10th grade, I already knew I wanted to be an air traffic
• 29:38
  controller. I knew it.
• 29:40
  That's what I wanted when I had to play Battlestar Galactica and
• 29:44
  see all the things. Yeah, I wanted to be that.
• 29:49
  That's what I wanted. And I didn't want to be this
• 29:52
  little, you know, farm town, little place where, you know,
• 29:57
  you're out of the little shack and a little flag, you know, I'm
• 29:59
  here. No, Nope.
• 30:02
  I wanted to be a level 5 IFR air traffic controller.
• 30:08
  That's what I wanted. I had no interest in 10th grade
• 30:15
  to go into the military. None.
• 30:18
  That dream existed way before that military thought came
• 30:23
  through. And then I started taking the
• 30:27
  tests, taking all these things. And the civilian FAA route in
• 30:33
  1985 was extremely long. You had to wait, then you had to
• 30:40
  test, then you had more waiting. And if you didn't do well on the
• 30:44
  testing, you had more testing, more waiting and could
• 30:48
  potentially spend years in that pattern without even knowing if
• 30:54
  you would even be accepted and then go to the school and if you
• 30:57
  would even made it through the school.
• 31:01
  That's a lot of pressure right there without even controlling
• 31:04
  traffic. However, I was very athletic and
• 31:09
  I kind of got into a a scholarship through the
• 31:13
  recruitment and said that I could go to Colorado Springs
• 31:16
  Academy for Air Traffic Control Administration.
• 31:21
  I was like, Nah, now we're talking, now we're talking GS12
• 31:26
  up to a 15 pay. Now we're talking.
• 31:30
  The civilian air traffic control system was still dealing with
• 31:35
  the aftermath of PATCO. So during PATCO, air traffic
• 31:41
  controller started striking and the staffing started changing
• 31:46
  quickly. Military controllers were now
• 31:50
  being pulled. So suddenly me going to Colorado
• 31:56
  Springs wasn't happening. Me having to wait to get in
• 31:59
  wasn't happening. I know more than threw my hat in
• 32:03
  the air of graduation and I was taken and I was on the fast
• 32:09
  track path because they needed air traffic controllers in a bad
• 32:14
  way. I'm young.
• 32:16
  I'm like, it's the career I only wanted, and now I get to fast
• 32:22
  track it. I'm winning my choice.
• 32:25
  I'm winning, right? My education, my scholarship, my
• 32:30
  opportunities, all of it could remain and I could get my
• 32:35
  parents. School is important.
• 32:36
  School, school, school, school, school, school, right?
• 32:39
  I did it. I got everything, and I even got
• 32:43
  to stand up for my country. Yep.
• 32:48
  I could enter the military, become an air traffic controller
• 32:50
  just like that. So what would you do?
• 32:53
  Well, I chose it, right? Yes, Uncle Sam, I do solemnly
• 32:58
  swear. I'm going to give you me, and
• 32:59
  you're going to give me my air traffic control.
• 33:01
  That's what it was, right? Think about it.
• 33:05
  How many of you went in as a guaranteed job or just went in
• 33:10
  with the expectations of all these grandeur and glories?
• 33:14
  18 Now that did not make my mother very happy.
• 33:18
  I could tell you that my mother fought with everything that she
• 33:22
  had to keep me out of the military.
• 33:26
  I don't. I believe it was fear that she
• 33:28
  was going to lose a child because remember, there's always
• 33:32
  so much fighting and so much wars going on in the East.
• 33:36
  So here we are. I joined the United States Air
• 33:39
  Force and I later had another opportunity come my way,
• 33:43
  something I would have never planning at all.
• 33:47
  I had an opportunity because of where I was at as an accelerated
• 33:52
  program in fast tracking and how well I did in air traffic.
• 33:57
  I got to become connected to the Red Flag strategic and tactical
• 34:01
  missions out in the deserts of Nevada.
• 34:05
  It was communication and Intel working, requiring a high level
• 34:09
  security clearance and I chose that specialization.
• 34:17
  Nobody forced me. I chose it me.
• 34:23
  And that's really important because I'm telling you the
• 34:27
  story today as a very healed MJ and MJ healed to see the whole
• 34:37
  picture. So as I started to do the work,
• 34:49
  I was loving life. I was controlling exactly what I
• 34:52
  wanted. Galacticas.
• 34:55
  At one point there probably was thousands of aircraft on my
• 34:59
  screen. Yep, I was Radar.
• 35:04
  However during my specialization it took me out of that field
• 35:09
  some because it was preparing me how to put up systems as well
• 35:16
  like runways and getting my ER systems and and how I was able
• 35:21
  to do stuff like that. So of course, I couldn't do it
• 35:23
  inside the building. It is at that point 25 of us, as
• 35:32
  a special duty got called for a special mission at night and we
• 35:35
  went out and the only duty that it was was an inoculation.
• 35:40
  Well, that inoculation left me, from my T10 level down, pretty
• 35:44
  much paralyzed. It affected my central nervous
• 35:50
  system. It affected my autoimmune
• 35:53
  system. That's not quite what I wanted.
• 35:57
  It's not exactly what I was thinking of.
• 36:00
  I don't. And then my blame started.
• 36:03
  Who and why? This isn't what I wanted.
• 36:06
  Wait, wait, wait. Backtrack it.
• 36:08
  Backtrack it, right? So I chose the military route.
• 36:14
  I chose my specializations. I can blame.
• 36:19
  I can blame the United States Air Force for all its demands
• 36:23
  and things that had occurred by this point.
• 36:30
  They put me on TDRL, temporary duty retirement leave for those
• 36:33
  who don't know what that is, so they could figure out what was
• 36:36
  going to happen with my body. Well, within those two years, I
• 36:40
  went back to school. I was like, you promised me my
• 36:43
  school, you, you had my scholarship.
• 36:45
  So I was using my school as I was healing and it was perfect.
• 36:51
  Even on the base, I was able to take courses.
• 36:56
  So to me I was like, well, let the body heal, no big deal and
• 37:00
  we'll go up and go again, right? Got a bad, got a bad reaction,
• 37:04
  kind of like an allergy. I got a bad reaction as a young
• 37:08
  airman. I didn't think too much of it at
• 37:10
  the time. Until that day in Houston, TX,
• 37:15
  where I had to go to court and they pulled my my rank.
• 37:22
  They pulled my air traffic control.
• 37:24
  And they said that you were permanently disabled and I
• 37:29
  cannot allow you to do air traffic control.
• 37:32
  So again, the smart little whip that I thought that I was in my
• 37:35
  young 20s. It's like, OK, well, whatever.
• 37:37
  I'll just go the FAA. No, you don't pass.
• 37:43
  Mary Jo. The class too physical.
• 37:48
  Yeah. That was hard.
• 37:51
  That was hard. I cried.
• 37:54
  I, I was, I hear my mom's voice. I told you I said this.
• 38:02
  Yeah. Don't do it.
• 38:07
  I I grieved so much and I took it out on my husband.
• 38:16
  At the time I wasn't very married long, obviously, 'cause
• 38:23
  this little mite of five foot 4 was angry, I was pissed off at
• 38:27
  the world and I just wanted deaf to all.
• 38:32
  Yep, somewhere, somehow I was still within the Catholic
• 38:36
  religions. I would still ask somebody to
• 38:40
  take me to church 'cause I was still recovering.
• 38:42
  I still didn't have feeling. I still had problems.
• 38:47
  And I heard a voice. That voice inside of me was OK.
• 38:55
  So you lost your air traffic control.
• 38:59
  Maybe that's not what you were meant to do and your purpose.
• 39:03
  I'm looking around. Who's talking to me?
• 39:07
  This was the one career that I had wanted since I was a
• 39:10
  teenager. Do you hear me?
• 39:14
  Do you understand that? I experienced such a loss, but I
• 39:22
  didn't lose myself with the loss.
• 39:26
  I could tell the story differently today because I'm
• 39:28
  healed. Still.
• 39:29
  Some of it hurts. But I can see where
• 39:32
  circumstances affected me, and I can see where the Air Force had
• 39:37
  to take responsibility, and I can see where I had to take my
• 39:43
  own responsibility, and I can see where I made my choices and
• 39:49
  I can see what I lost. Yep, there were tears, there was
• 39:56
  anger, there was frustration, there was point blank animosity
• 40:03
  and a scathing, scathing question.
• 40:10
  I had to give myself time. What happened?
• 40:16
  At the point I know my family and and I know people, my
• 40:21
  friends, they're asking me if I was going to sue the military.
• 40:26
  Well the military made that really easy because couldn't sue
• 40:29
  them and they went over my 2 year statue of limitations to
• 40:33
  file. All learning experiences I had
• 40:36
  to go through and a voice in my head said get up, move.
• 40:48
  Now there was a big cliche in my family and maybe it was me
• 40:52
  hearing my dad's voice because my dad raised me that winners
• 40:56
  don't quit and quitters don't win.
• 40:59
  He also told me the word of can't and doesn't exist.
• 41:04
  Cannot, can't, I don't care how you do it doesn't exist.
• 41:08
  He taught me that and maybe that was the voice I heard.
• 41:11
  Get up, go forward, keep moving. Yep.
• 41:19
  So I gave myself time and then I reached an awareness.
• 41:24
  Something else is definitely waiting for me because God does
• 41:27
  not shut that door without opening up that window.
• 41:30
  It's hard, it's challenging, and I'm not going to sit here and
• 41:33
  tell you it was easy. I didn't know what was
• 41:38
  happening. I really didn't know what it was
• 41:40
  going to be. I knew that I was in my
• 41:43
  schooling still and I was getting my administration, you
• 41:47
  know, business administration, because truly I was going to
• 41:50
  Colorado Springs to become an air traffic control
• 41:52
  administration, right? But I didn't have a next journey
• 41:57
  planned. I just had to start taking
• 41:59
  classes, heal your body, get strong again.
• 42:05
  And I simply knew at one point, OK, this journey is over.
• 42:13
  No matter how much I fought the FAA, no matter how many fought
• 42:18
  the United States Air Force for taking my degrees and my
• 42:25
  certificates that I earned away, I knew another journey how to
• 42:30
  begin. And that's why veteran
• 42:35
  separation became so profound to me.
• 42:39
  I've been hearing it. I almost every time I turn on
• 42:43
  not just MBR, other veterans, they're talking about their
• 42:48
  brotherhood, they're talking about belonging, they're talking
• 42:50
  about that. Nobody taught them anything.
• 42:53
  Nobody taught them finances. Nobody taught them this, that,
• 42:56
  or the other. There's a choice.
• 43:01
  There's a choice and that blame game gets us further down the
• 43:07
  rabbit hole. So I began asking, why is there
• 43:12
  so much separation? I can understand a disability
• 43:15
  separation and the frustration. I get it because not only are
• 43:18
  you separating now, you're not even 100% to do something else.
• 43:24
  I get that. But these are people who put in
• 43:28
  1520, thirty, 35 years and they're still feeling like what?
• 43:37
  Right. Why?
• 43:43
  Why could I lose a career that I have wanted since 10th grade,
• 43:46
  grieve about it, and eventually move on while my brothers and
• 43:50
  sisters of arms who separated and remained fighting that
• 43:55
  separate for years. And they're still like this when
• 43:59
  you ask them, oh, did you just get out?
• 44:00
  No, I've been out. Well, when did you or when did
• 44:03
  you separate? Oh, I separated back in, you
• 44:06
  know, 2000, 2010. OK, I'm not going to sit here
• 44:15
  and say, well, I did it right, you did it wrong.
• 44:17
  That's judgement and that would be ego.
• 44:21
  So I'm asking what happened, What's different?
• 44:26
  How come some got through and some didn't?
• 44:28
  And why is there still separation problems?
• 44:32
  When I started working with my vets in Miami, one of the things
• 44:37
  we talk about is what we carry, what is operating inside of me.
• 44:45
  Nobody can experience what I experienced.
• 44:48
  Nobody can experience what you experienced.
• 44:51
  So what might be observed inside somebody else?
• 44:55
  Think about that. We're always owning our choice
• 45:00
  doesn't doesn't erase basically what happened to us.
• 45:05
  History will never you can't remove history.
• 45:08
  No matter how hard you try, it's still going to be there.
• 45:12
  It changed where I stood when I looked at what's happening and
• 45:16
  look at what was being said and looked at the people, their
• 45:20
  jobs, what they did in the military, how they did it, what
• 45:23
  what happened, how they got out and they were telling the
• 45:26
  stories. There's lots of vets on here
• 45:28
  telling their stories about it, but yet they're talking about
• 45:34
  it, but yet they're not fixing it.
• 45:37
  What good does talking about something if you don't have a
• 45:40
  plan or you don't move forward to fix it?
• 45:45
  Think about that. I could remain only with, look,
• 45:51
  look what they did to me. Or I could also ask you, where
• 46:00
  did I choose? What did I know then?
• 46:05
  What could I have known that they don't?
• 46:08
  And what belongs to them that didn't belong to me and what
• 46:15
  belongs to me now? OK, so and here's the one line
• 46:23
  that I want you to remember. Owning my choice didn't erase
• 46:30
  what happened to me, it gave me back my ability to choose what
• 46:36
  happens next. Now that is an MJ healing
• 46:45
  statement. That wasn't me then at all,
• 46:52
  folks. I'll take another break.
• 46:53
  When we come back, we're going to find out why the same
• 46:56
  separation can land so differently inside of two
• 47:00
  different human beings because maybe separation isn't always
• 47:06
  where the story begins. Maybe, just maybe, separation
• 47:11
  shakes something that was truly already there.
• 47:16
  You're listening to military broadcast radio.
• 47:18
  My name is MJ. My show, it's called The World
• 47:22
  of Conscious Positive Thinking. Tonight is APSA, and it is
• 47:25
  called Operation Separation. We're going to go to another
• 47:29
  quick song here and then we'll be right back.
• 47:33
  I don't know which song to pick. Here we go.
• 51:02
  Welcome to military broadcast radio.
• 51:04
  Every view, every listener, and every share helps our mission.
• 51:08
  Every donation helps keep military broadcast on the air.
• 51:11
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• 51:13
  Thank you for your support. MV Radio dot US.
• 51:19
  Hey, welcome back. I am MJ here on military
• 51:22
  broadcast radio and our mission tonight is Operation Separation
• 51:28
  mission ended and we didn't first hand right.
• 51:34
  Thank you everybody, even you on TikTok.
• 51:36
  I see I see how many you are out there.
• 51:38
  Thank you so much and I, I will try to answer as much as I can.
• 51:43
  And anyway, thank you. Thank you for listening.
• 51:47
  Thank you, and I hope it really, really helps.
• 51:48
  So welcome back. Before the break, I asked why
• 51:53
  can the same kind of separation affect 2 veterans so
• 51:56
  differently? Now we're going to go deeper
• 51:58
  folks, right? Let's talk about that because
• 52:02
  next one I'll talk about it's called patterns.
• 52:05
  What did the military structure give you?
• 52:09
  When I asked that question to myself, it gave me order, it
• 52:14
  gave me purpose, it gave me belonging, it gave me pride, it
• 52:21
  gave me identity, gave me family, gave me direction, it
• 52:32
  gave me security, and it also allowed me to clear every
• 52:38
  expectation. I don't know if that did that
• 52:42
  for you. Maybe military structure
• 52:45
  provided something your earlier life didn't.
• 52:50
  Maybe it stabilized something for you.
• 52:53
  Maybe it quieted something for you.
• 52:57
  Maybe the military was your peace till war began.
• 53:05
  Then separation removes structure.
• 53:12
  What happens underneath now, right?
• 53:17
  Somebody made a conscious decision to leave.
• 53:20
  Maybe you didn't make a conscious decision to leave.
• 53:22
  And either way, you were handed your walking papers, you got
• 53:25
  your handed that DD214. And what if that DD214 didn't
• 53:31
  create anything? And what if it shook your boxes,
• 53:37
  your perfectly labeled boxes? I'm going to call, I'm going to
• 53:44
  call mine the Sergeant box. No disrespect for any Sergeant
• 53:48
  up there, but as a pickle, you know what a Sergeant box is?
• 53:53
  That is military training one O 1.
• 53:55
  You got six weeks of it, six weeks of it.
• 53:59
  And if you had to do gas chamber and also war, then you got
• 54:01
  another two weeks, right? There's a purpose for it, folks.
• 54:07
  You had times where you need to report on time in for duty and
• 54:10
  you were early, you were on time, you had a chain of
• 54:14
  command, you had responsibilities and
• 54:16
  liabilities. You had consequences if you
• 54:20
  didn't meet expectations or you didn't do your job and you had a
• 54:25
  mission. We all know what that is.
• 54:28
  We know what missions are. We know that word very well.
• 54:34
  Sometimes there isn't time to analyze your feelings.
• 54:41
  And you can guarantee you something.
• 54:45
  Your commander, your chief, your officers, they'll tell you to
• 54:50
  pull your big pants up, soldier. And you get rid of those
• 54:53
  emotions, and you start going forward.
• 54:57
  Yeah. No emotion.
• 54:59
  All right, Think about when you were a pickle, when you first
• 55:04
  got in that first week, and you would smile at your Sergeant
• 55:08
  coming down your line, right, 'cause you thought, oh, I got my
• 55:10
  stuff, I got my stuff. And you're smiling 'cause you're
• 55:15
  like, all right, I'm in it. And your sarge looks at you and
• 55:18
  you go, Airman, you had something smile about.
• 55:22
  Better wipe that fucking smile right off that face.
• 55:27
  Yeah, OK. I was loud.
• 55:31
  No feeling. Now, again, I was in the 80s.
• 55:33
  I don't know what's happening today, but this is my, this is
• 55:36
  my my, my event, my experience. So if you came in with any
• 55:47
  emotions or feelings, they were suppressed immediately.
• 55:53
  They don't exist. Get up, get your gear, do your
• 55:58
  job, protect your people, complete your mission.
• 56:02
  Because that's what you signed up for, soldier.
• 56:06
  Yeah. So why do you think they're so
• 56:14
  strict? I'm sure the soldiers could tell
• 56:18
  you if the people who aren't soldiers.
• 56:20
  Because it kept you alive, soldier.
• 56:23
  That's why. If I ask you to make a bed and
• 56:27
  you half ass make a bed, you're going to half ass protect me.
• 56:32
  Who heard that? Do it again and they would strip
• 56:36
  it. Find out that you try to cheat
• 56:40
  the system and only wear one set of greens.
• 56:43
  Why? The other ones hung all pressed
• 56:46
  and neat. Oh, you'll find those outside in
• 56:49
  the mud. That's my take of my air traffic
• 56:54
  or my Air Force, and I understand why.
• 56:59
  Sometimes it was easy because I came from a very disciplined,
• 57:03
  very authoritative father who made demands upon me.
• 57:11
  I can only imagine when I tell you I saw suicides and basic
• 57:15
  training, what home life they had.
• 57:17
  Maybe it wasn't as strong, right?
• 57:23
  Yeah, sometimes as we go through, that can keep people
• 57:31
  alive. We learn how to
• 57:35
  compartmentalize, right? We we learned how things to say,
• 57:40
  things to do, things to feel, things not to feel.
• 57:42
  And we just pushed through. We had to move forward.
• 57:47
  So I call that my sergeant's box.
• 57:50
  Just keep going. Can't.
• 57:55
  It's not in our vocabulary, little girl.
• 58:00
  Quitters never win, and winners never quit.
• 58:05
  I'm not calling it a sergeant's block to sit here and blame any
• 58:08
  Sergeant out there 'cause I love you.
• 58:10
  I love the job that you do, and I understand why you did what
• 58:15
  you did. And I honor why that box exists.
• 58:20
  And if it still exists today, good.
• 58:24
  What I'm asking, when that mission ended, four years, eight
• 58:28
  years, 10 years, 1520, whatever it was, did your Sergeant box
• 58:34
  end? The uniform came off, your DD214
• 58:41
  arrived, your structures disappeared.
• 58:46
  Yet that Sergeant box inside may still be conducting an
• 58:52
  inspection. And now we're standing as a
• 59:01
  civilian again. Listen to that word again in a
• 59:06
  workplace, though this time not out of school, asking what the
• 59:12
  hell is PTO that still to this day, I there's your circle.
• 59:23
  There it is right now. I like to say chairs, right when
• 59:29
  I have these conversations and I start going in deep into our
• 59:32
  minds, I pretend we're at a table and I tell you who's in
• 59:37
  your chair at your table. So when I first developed this
• 59:41
  theory, I asked where did separation or abandonment first
• 59:49
  pull up a chair at my table? Used to do the same thing and
• 59:56
  then something stopped me. Wait a minute, maybe separation
• 1:00:02
  didn't take a chair. Maybe separation was the damn
• 1:00:08
  event. OK, well then what?
• 1:00:13
  Sat down in my chair at my table?
• 1:00:18
  My consciousness. Kept taking me towards fear.
• 1:00:26
  Fear. Maybe death was the event.
• 1:00:33
  Fear of another loss. Sat down.
• 1:00:37
  Maybe divorce was an event. I was away too long, right?
• 1:00:43
  Maybe I had fear of abandonment. Now I fell alone.
• 1:00:48
  Where's my battle buddies? Where's my belonging?
• 1:00:54
  Maybe a chair was bullying was the event.
• 1:00:58
  You were bullied in school, so now we're going to bully others.
• 1:01:00
  And you could bully all your little green Pickles because you
• 1:01:03
  had higher stripes. Maybe there was fear of
• 1:01:07
  rejection at your table. Maybe failure happened.
• 1:01:14
  Maybe fear of failing again was part of it.
• 1:01:21
  Maybe everything just suddenly changed on you.
• 1:01:25
  You couldn't distinguish any of it anymore.
• 1:01:29
  There was no explanation. We call that the fear of
• 1:01:33
  unknown. But we can tell you the event
• 1:01:39
  happened and fear took a chair. OK, as a soldier, as a vet, I
• 1:01:52
  hear the word of fear and I just wanted to give you that side
• 1:01:57
  eye, right? And I'm sure you want to give me
• 1:01:59
  that right now. Who is sitting at your table and
• 1:02:09
  why and when did that fear first sit there?
• 1:02:16
  OK, and then I'm going to ask you.
• 1:02:20
  OK, well, what happened before this happened?
• 1:02:27
  Let that question breathe a little bit.
• 1:02:32
  Do not fill every second, because then now you put at your
• 1:02:42
  table the DD214. So in my practice we talk there
• 1:02:53
  are 7 fears that are most relatable to humanity.
• 1:03:00
  And maybe separation didn't bring a new chair to your table,
• 1:03:07
  maybe it invited an old fear back.
• 1:03:11
  And what happened with your sarge box?
• 1:03:13
  We don't have time for your feelings.
• 1:03:14
  You suppress them. Remember that box Not allowed to
• 1:03:18
  feel your emotion. Even if your battle buddy on the
• 1:03:22
  front line is dying beside you, we still have a job to do.
• 1:03:32
  Some people call us machines. You're either going to do it
• 1:03:36
  right or you'll be dead next, right?
• 1:03:42
  So maybe. And invited an old fear back.
• 1:03:46
  So the seven fears that I work with, maybe some of these might
• 1:03:49
  help you. The fear of death, fear of
• 1:03:52
  rejection, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of losing
• 1:03:57
  control, fear of pain, fear of loss.
• 1:04:02
  I'm not diagnosing you tonight. That's not my job here.
• 1:04:04
  Tonight. I'm asking you to inspect
• 1:04:08
  yourself. I'm asking you to ask these
• 1:04:11
  questions. What does something inside of
• 1:04:15
  you believe it could lose? Identity, belonging, money,
• 1:04:27
  structure, purpose, control, family.
• 1:04:37
  And now we have to talk about courage, right?
• 1:04:45
  Courage because I'm going to be honest.
• 1:04:48
  When I talk about fear, I kind of get this bubbly in me going.
• 1:04:50
  How dare you? Who is saying that to me?
• 1:04:54
  Fear, not saying you think like me, but I can tell you when I
• 1:05:02
  first started examining this and that word fear came up, I went
• 1:05:06
  to spit on it. I wanted to have that block on
• 1:05:10
  my shoulder and just punch at square in the freaking throat
• 1:05:12
  chakra. So we're going to talk about
• 1:05:15
  courage. Fear doesn't make a veteran a
• 1:05:21
  coward. Courage and fear can occupy that
• 1:05:26
  same moment. Courage is what allows us to
• 1:05:33
  move when something so difficult is present.
• 1:05:37
  That's my sarge box. During service, courage often
• 1:05:44
  said go forward, fear didn't exist.
• 1:05:52
  After service, perhaps Courage sometimes says stop, look, pay
• 1:06:02
  attention, listen, ask. Why am I angry?
• 1:06:12
  I'm in a safe spot. I'm not even on the front line.
• 1:06:14
  I'm not even in the service anymore.
• 1:06:17
  Why am I this angry? Why can't I let go of this?
• 1:06:23
  Why does asking for help feel like I'm weak?
• 1:06:28
  And why am I still fighting everybody who has done nothing
• 1:06:32
  to me? Sometimes, battle buddies, I
• 1:06:39
  need a hand. That's courage.
• 1:06:42
  To to stand up like I'm doing right now at a mic and tell you
• 1:06:50
  how it hurt, tell you how it feels, takes courage.
• 1:06:57
  Veterans and soldiers are not blind to courage.
• 1:07:00
  It's embedded and it's installed in US.
• 1:07:07
  Kill or be killed. Your point was to stay alive.
• 1:07:16
  So I want to take you into places where fear can hide on
• 1:07:21
  us, such as anger, pride, ego, judgement, strife.
• 1:07:26
  Because motion doesn't always mean we're moving in a forward
• 1:07:31
  balance. So we found the chair at the
• 1:07:39
  table. We talked about fear and we
• 1:07:42
  talked about courage. Now let's start decoding
• 1:07:46
  something that I hear constantly.
• 1:07:49
  Anger, resentment, anger, anger. And more anger, more pissed
• 1:07:56
  offness, More F use F them F this.
• 1:08:03
  Yeah, within my spiritual framework, I do not view anger
• 1:08:10
  as an appropriate place to remain.
• 1:08:13
  You can feel the emotion you need to get out of it.
• 1:08:15
  If you can't get out of it and you stay angry, you need help.
• 1:08:20
  I see anger connected with the unhealed ego in judgment
• 1:08:24
  centers. So when we say I'm angry, you
• 1:08:29
  are declaring you're an angry person constantly.
• 1:08:33
  Not at this moment. I have anger.
• 1:08:35
  Do you hear the difference? There's a difference in the two
• 1:08:39
  statements. OK, Now my question is now why?
• 1:08:47
  Some of my veterans used to answer me.
• 1:08:49
  They screwed me. MJI can see that.
• 1:08:53
  I can see how you. You really mean that?
• 1:08:56
  What does that mean? They just abandoned me?
• 1:09:01
  Oh, they abandoned you? How did they abandon you?
• 1:09:06
  I'm the DD214. And now what?
• 1:09:08
  Now what do I do? They didn't teach me finances.
• 1:09:11
  They didn't teach me how to live in the civilian life.
• 1:09:13
  Wait a minute. You came from the civilian life?
• 1:09:18
  Who? Who are we blaming?
• 1:09:22
  Why does abandonment? What does that mean to you?
• 1:09:27
  I sometimes got back. I gave them 20 years of my life.
• 1:09:31
  I said OK, keep going. You're getting somewhere.
• 1:09:34
  Keep moving, keep, keep thinking, keep going in there.
• 1:09:39
  And then nobody needed me. But it was your choice to come
• 1:09:44
  out. Who didn't need you?
• 1:09:49
  Your family. Were they with you?
• 1:09:52
  Were they not with you? Did you do tour on top of tour
• 1:09:54
  on top of tour and didn't and you forgot about your family?
• 1:09:57
  Do you live in the same place that you you did you go back
• 1:10:00
  home with your DD214 to the same place where you grew up right
• 1:10:04
  before you left there, right there.
• 1:10:10
  Now we are way underneath that anger.
• 1:10:13
  Right now we're becoming aware. What is she trying to say?
• 1:10:21
  Well, our judgement center says no, I'm mad, I'm angry because
• 1:10:26
  they're freaking lazy. They don't give a shit, they
• 1:10:29
  don't care. They can't even come in for
• 1:10:30
  God's sakes. What the hell is PTOIII?
• 1:10:33
  Can't even or oh, I don't, I don't like working Fridays.
• 1:10:35
  Just take me off the schedule. Or it could be against the the
• 1:10:40
  VA. the VA screwed me. This VA is so freaking horrible.
• 1:10:45
  God damn it. Why, why, why do I have to keep
• 1:10:48
  doing this? Why do I who does this sound
• 1:10:50
  like? My boss is an idiot.
• 1:10:52
  My family can't even understand who I am.
• 1:11:02
  Funny, not funny. Once judgement center of our
• 1:11:08
  brain decides that it knows better than anybody else and it
• 1:11:13
  knows the answers, we don't even investigate within because our
• 1:11:18
  ego says I know it's how it's supposed to work.
• 1:11:21
  It is their fault. Look at that finger and look at
• 1:11:24
  the three coming back. Heart, throat, you are killing
• 1:11:34
  yourself. And when life refuses to follow
• 1:11:43
  our expectations, now we have strife.
• 1:11:49
  Conflict on top of conflict, blame game on top of blame game.
• 1:11:53
  Our health starts to deteriorate, We have emotions,
• 1:11:57
  we don't feel good, We're just exhausted.
• 1:12:01
  I don't want to. It's constantly a bitch fight
• 1:12:04
  with my spouse, bitch fight with my kids, constant nagging,
• 1:12:10
  repetitive circle. And what does our veterans then
• 1:12:16
  do? They get numb, they go to the
• 1:12:20
  bar, they start developing other substances.
• 1:12:26
  So here's my question to the veterans.
• 1:12:31
  How many times have you told the same story about the same person
• 1:12:38
  pissed you off? How many times, how many people
• 1:12:42
  have you told you trying to form your own platoon?
• 1:12:46
  You're trying to gain an army so that the people hate them.
• 1:12:48
  And so you start bullying one person because now your mouth is
• 1:12:51
  chattering like a freaking duck's ass and now you're going
• 1:12:54
  to repetitively spew negative and garbage out.
• 1:13:00
  I was there. How do I know this?
• 1:13:02
  I was there. I'm not telling you anything
• 1:13:05
  that I wasn't there. And some of it you can hear, You
• 1:13:07
  can see I get choked up still how I abused some people in my
• 1:13:13
  life. I'm very sorry about that.
• 1:13:18
  And if I'm fighting that same battle year after year after
• 1:13:22
  year, did the battle ever end inside of me?
• 1:13:29
  Am I still in my sergeant's box? Am I still in the front line?
• 1:13:31
  Am I still going to work on the base?
• 1:13:41
  Yeah. Yeah, it is frightening to think
• 1:13:53
  how our minds can easily be conditioned.
• 1:13:59
  But I want you to think about something your family, friends
• 1:14:05
  in the civilian world will constantly tell you.
• 1:14:08
  You're being brainwashed by the military.
• 1:14:10
  They're brainwashing you to be a Guinea pig and get shot at.
• 1:14:14
  Anybody hear that one? You're a Guinea pig, man, and
• 1:14:22
  all they do is brainwash you. Well, guess what, folks?
• 1:14:26
  From the time that you came out of your mother's uterus, you've
• 1:14:29
  been brainwashed. You've been brainwashed by your
• 1:14:31
  own family's boxes and patterns and labels.
• 1:14:34
  You've been brainwashed by your nanny's or your daycare.
• 1:14:37
  You've been brainwashed by your church congregations.
• 1:14:40
  You've been brainwashed by your teachers in your school and
• 1:14:42
  you've been brainwashed by the community that you lived in and
• 1:14:45
  you've been brainwashed by the state that you live in.
• 1:14:48
  So if your VA sucks, think where you are.
• 1:14:54
  What are they doing for the veteran?
• 1:14:57
  Because I can tell you I live in, I have lived in a lot of
• 1:14:59
  States and I could tell you that for the most of my journey was
• 1:15:03
  in Miami and that Miami VA and the West Palm, Miami VA and the
• 1:15:09
  Tampa VA Saint Petersburg area. Let me tell you, they are the
• 1:15:12
  best of the best of the best. I love them.
• 1:15:17
  I would go there before I went to a Baptist Dam hospital, and I
• 1:15:20
  would go there before a South Miami hospital, and I would
• 1:15:23
  definitely go there before I went to a Jackson Memorial
• 1:15:25
  Hospital. So I don't know who's running
• 1:15:29
  your brain and why you're still set in that box.
• 1:15:34
  There's choices, my friend, choices.
• 1:15:37
  We need to be aware of these choices.
• 1:15:43
  Operation separation, man. We're not looking for another
• 1:15:48
  enemy. We're not looking for another
• 1:15:50
  fight. You can't come on the radios and
• 1:15:56
  start flapping without a solution because all you're
• 1:16:01
  doing is crippling your battle buddies.
• 1:16:04
  All you are doing is causing havoc.
• 1:16:09
  Where's your solutions? You don't like your VA?
• 1:16:15
  Start with your own government inside of your state and then
• 1:16:21
  look at your administration. Not saying this one.
• 1:16:24
  I'm not saying the last one. I'm just saying it all boils
• 1:16:28
  down to where you are in the choices that we're making.
• 1:16:36
  Pride. I'm going to move to pride.
• 1:16:39
  There is so much pride in military and and I honor it.
• 1:16:42
  I get choked up on taps still every time I see taps.
• 1:16:45
  I don't get choked up about a death of somebody, but I sure as
• 1:16:48
  hell when they start with the fires, with the gun salutes,
• 1:16:55
  chokes me. Military pride is probably the
• 1:16:59
  most honorable, dedicated pride I've ever seen in my entire
• 1:17:03
  life. It's honor service.
• 1:17:07
  It's an identity, and it's an accomplishment.
• 1:17:11
  And now I ask, can pride become my obstacle?
• 1:17:21
  Why? Because my pride would probably
• 1:17:23
  tell somebody I survived worse, so it's fine.
• 1:17:27
  You have no idea what I went through.
• 1:17:29
  I don't need anybody. I'll do it myself.
• 1:17:31
  I can handle my own shit. What does it sound like?
• 1:17:36
  Pride. OK, well, I'm not asking whether
• 1:17:42
  you can survive. You've already demonstrated
• 1:17:46
  that, Soldier. Congratulations.
• 1:17:50
  You had the courage to face fear.
• 1:17:52
  Dead on. I'm asking whether you're at
• 1:17:56
  peace. Do you love yourself?
• 1:17:59
  Are you kind to yourself? Are you kind to others?
• 1:18:07
  There's no more fear. There's no more unsafe.
• 1:18:12
  You're home survival and balanced peace aren't the same
• 1:18:17
  experience. They're not.
• 1:18:21
  And the family members are the friends who are listening, who
• 1:18:24
  aren't the veteran. Perhaps something is becoming
• 1:18:27
  very clear now to you. Maybe you've called your veteran
• 1:18:33
  rigid, angered, out of control, authoritative, controlling,
• 1:18:41
  angry, obsessive, especially with work, impossible to live
• 1:18:47
  with. There's probably more.
• 1:18:53
  You get the gist. Now perhaps there's another
• 1:18:56
  question. What is underneath what I am
• 1:19:00
  seeing? Understanding doesn't mean
• 1:19:06
  accepting harmful behavior. It doesn't remove boundaries,
• 1:19:11
  doesn't remove our boxes. It means we're looking at the
• 1:19:15
  entire human instead of stopping at another damn label made by
• 1:19:20
  man and the veteran. Perhaps your family isn't always
• 1:19:27
  attacking you either. Sometimes it's just trying to
• 1:19:33
  understand a, a, a, a world inside that nobody explained to
• 1:19:39
  them that they're just supposed to understand, right?
• 1:19:49
  Soldiers and veterans understand inspection very well, so let's
• 1:19:56
  conduct one. Let's conduct an inspection,
• 1:19:59
  right? Why not?
• 1:20:02
  What's wrong with me? No, we're not asking that.
• 1:20:06
  What we're going to asking is what am I still carrying with
• 1:20:12
  me? What constantly repeats on me?
• 1:20:21
  What am I judging? Who am I judging?
• 1:20:25
  What am I blaming and who am I blaming?
• 1:20:30
  What do I avoid? What am I afraid that I could
• 1:20:34
  lose? What happened before all of
• 1:20:38
  this? What happened?
• 1:20:40
  I was happy. I was happy.
• 1:20:42
  I was going. I was doing what I wanted to do.
• 1:20:47
  What belongs to somebody else and what belongs to me now that
• 1:20:55
  takes courage. My brothers and sisters of arms,
• 1:20:59
  to diagnose, to look inside of ourselves because our Sarge,
• 1:21:04
  we're going to put that shit away.
• 1:21:06
  It takes courage, it takes strength, it takes order, it
• 1:21:12
  takes faith, it takes will, it takes understanding, and most of
• 1:21:17
  all, it takes love. Wow.
• 1:21:27
  We've inspected the behavior side.
• 1:21:32
  We've looked underneath anger. We've looked at fear, ego,
• 1:21:38
  judgement, strife. We're not leaving anybody
• 1:21:44
  sitting at that table by themselves right now.
• 1:21:48
  We need to move into faith, will, understanding, and
• 1:21:52
  balance. We're almost at the end, folks.
• 1:22:00
  And this is where my own story suddenly taught me something.
• 1:22:06
  Remember what I said when my career ended?
• 1:22:09
  Something else was waiting for me.
• 1:22:12
  Couldn't see it. So what was operating?
• 1:22:16
  What was the chair at my table? Faith.
• 1:22:20
  Not religion, faith, anybody. You know me.
• 1:22:26
  You know me. I hear the word hope and I'm
• 1:22:28
  like, excuse me, We don't ever have hope.
• 1:22:32
  We have faith, stronger word in connecting to consciousness of
• 1:22:38
  God. It's not whether I went to
• 1:22:42
  church or not. I cannot see what comes next.
• 1:22:46
  That's faith. If I cannot see what's coming
• 1:22:49
  next and nobody knows what's coming next, yet I remain
• 1:22:51
  connected, calm, and strong to something beyond what I
• 1:22:56
  presently see, that's faith. Now.
• 1:23:01
  Faith also went with me understanding.
• 1:23:05
  That's another mind power center because I eventually understood
• 1:23:13
  my health completely changed, my career started changing and my
• 1:23:20
  in this, this beautiful path, my sergeant's box, that path ended.
• 1:23:26
  I have choices, the same choices that I made at 18 and the same
• 1:23:29
  choice I made at 20 to go into special specialties.
• 1:23:35
  We all have a choice. And you know why?
• 1:23:37
  Because we all have something called will, free will and that
• 1:23:43
  will, depending on your strength, that will move you
• 1:23:47
  forward. Not going to move you.
• 1:23:51
  And let's start grieving about it and open it up.
• 1:23:54
  And not by pretending that the loss never happened and it's not
• 1:23:58
  going to move. When awareness tells me there's
• 1:24:02
  another journey, well guess what happens if I don't help clear my
• 1:24:06
  system up with that other journey?
• 1:24:08
  I've lost not one job, 2 jobs, three jobs.
• 1:24:11
  Things are just happening because I couldn't get along
• 1:24:15
  with the rules because I was still stuck in my mission.
• 1:24:22
  There's faith, there's will, and there's understanding, and they
• 1:24:27
  all need to work in tandem. They can't work in tandem if we
• 1:24:32
  don't even have the courage to look inside of ourselves.
• 1:24:37
  So now I want you to look at the veteran, right?
• 1:24:39
  Here we go vets. What happens when faith is
• 1:24:43
  obstructed? And I know you all have faith
• 1:24:48
  because I would be surprised if half of you don't have Archangel
• 1:24:52
  or Saint Michael tattooed somewhere on your body.
• 1:24:55
  You wore it straightly on your chest and on your patches and
• 1:24:59
  Valhalla baby me and Saint Michael and our heavenly army.
• 1:25:06
  So then what happens when faith is obstructed?
• 1:25:10
  There's nothing waiting for me. What happens when our
• 1:25:13
  understanding gets obstructed? They did this to me and that's
• 1:25:20
  the whole entire story. It's their fault.
• 1:25:24
  And now what happens when our will gets obstructed?
• 1:25:28
  I don't know where to go, so I just don't move.
• 1:25:30
  I'm just going to sit here. Maybe I'll drink, maybe I'll
• 1:25:33
  smoke, maybe I'll pop some pills for the pain.
• 1:25:39
  Yeah. We can also look at the other
• 1:25:41
  mind power centers and see how they work for us, Especially
• 1:25:45
  when our structure disappears. That's order.
• 1:25:50
  When we don't have structure, our order's gone.
• 1:25:54
  When I have to carry everybody in my family and carry the
• 1:25:56
  workplace, that's strength. When I don't know my purpose
• 1:26:02
  anymore. MJ that's your life.
• 1:26:08
  When separation activates old wounds of loss, that's heart.
• 1:26:17
  And when everybody else becomes the problem but you, that's
• 1:26:21
  judgement. Now, we're not reading a list of
• 1:26:28
  mind power centers here. We're watching a pattern move
• 1:26:32
  through a beautiful human being. A pattern that was stacked
• 1:26:39
  before you raised your right hand and said I do solemnly
• 1:26:42
  swear. So as I told you, I worked with
• 1:26:54
  vets in Miami and it was some of the most rewarding work for me.
• 1:27:01
  I would do what we call Reiki rewires of the brain and I would
• 1:27:06
  enforce their mind power centers and I would enforce their chakra
• 1:27:08
  centers and we would sit and we would have one-on-one try to get
• 1:27:12
  to the awareness of what truly is happening with them.
• 1:27:19
  I didn't really know that it was separation at the time because I
• 1:27:25
  didn't look at man label words. I don't.
• 1:27:30
  I look at patterns. I look at the soldier themselves
• 1:27:35
  because they're the only experience of their own
• 1:27:37
  consciousness. I can't ask somebody else about
• 1:27:40
  your consciousness finding the pieces to the puzzle one-on-one.
• 1:27:48
  But in Group settings, sometimes that one-on-one triggered
• 1:27:52
  something for another and they became aware and they needed to
• 1:27:56
  sit back and process it. And then they would come back in
• 1:28:00
  MJI think I got something that makes me happy because to
• 1:28:11
  connect the dots, to understand a man label, the experience has
• 1:28:14
  to happen first. The event has to happen and the
• 1:28:17
  experience has to happen because without the two, we can't
• 1:28:21
  reason. So have I been seeing pieces of
• 1:28:25
  this pattern of separation without even recognizing that it
• 1:28:29
  was a whole pattern until I got with MBR and started reliving
• 1:28:33
  this whole thing and then watching other military stations
• 1:28:37
  and other military people. There was a massive reason why
• 1:28:42
  this PSA was important for me. I hope it was important for you
• 1:28:47
  because you don't need to prove anything, soldier.
• 1:28:48
  You already did, right? You don't need to sit here.
• 1:28:55
  You're not you. You aren't proving anything.
• 1:28:57
  You're asking right. And then here we are.
• 1:29:04
  Sometimes we connect the dots long before consciousness allows
• 1:29:09
  us to even see what the hell they're creating.
• 1:29:16
  So though, what does MJ want from you?
• 1:29:22
  I want you to become curious about yourself, and I want you
• 1:29:24
  to love yourself enough to ask the questions.
• 1:29:28
  Because deep side down inside of there, there's a young soldier
• 1:29:35
  who might have stacked traumas or stacked events or stacked
• 1:29:37
  experiences, but they were told to shove down it and pull up
• 1:29:41
  your man pants. We'll have time for your
• 1:29:43
  feelings. That's rough.
• 1:29:48
  Yeah. I want you to ask the questions.
• 1:29:55
  Why does that piss me off? Why does disorder affect me?
• 1:30:01
  Why do I need everything done immediately?
• 1:30:05
  Why does somebody leaving affect me?
• 1:30:08
  Why does asking for help feel weak to me?
• 1:30:13
  And why am I blaming everybody? And why does the unknown keep
• 1:30:17
  stopping me? And then ask yourself, what
• 1:30:25
  happened before all this happened.
• 1:30:28
  Find that pattern. Find the obstacle.
• 1:30:31
  Find the chair you already showed you have great courage
• 1:30:34
  and you can go forward and face that fear and face that shit.
• 1:30:38
  Do it. Become aware and use the courage
• 1:30:43
  so strongly that you've already demonstrated so bravely.
• 1:30:50
  Please stop finding another enemy.
• 1:30:54
  Stop fighting with your family, your Co workers.
• 1:30:59
  Find the balance within and civilians.
• 1:31:04
  Why don't you try finding your balance as well?
• 1:31:09
  It only isn't just the military and to the families here,
• 1:31:14
  spouses, families, friends. If you recognize that you're a
• 1:31:17
  veteran tonight, if you recognized any of this, you
• 1:31:21
  don't give them this as ammunition.
• 1:31:24
  I want you to leave here with the awareness now.
• 1:31:28
  So instead of what's wrong with you, which is a blame a push a
• 1:31:33
  finger, perhaps you can begin with loving them and saying,
• 1:31:37
  sweetheart, what happened? Can I help you?
• 1:31:39
  Are you OK? Sit beside them, listen to them.
• 1:31:45
  Even if it goes all the way back to childhood.
• 1:31:47
  Listen, you don't have to completely understand military
• 1:31:53
  service to help somebody that you love understand what may
• 1:32:00
  still be operating inside of them.
• 1:32:03
  Sometimes, just sometimes, you can become the battle buddy for
• 1:32:07
  that damn next mission. Yeah, if something came forward
• 1:32:19
  tonight, please don't force it. Allow it gradually to happen.
• 1:32:26
  If you're overwhelmed, stop digging.
• 1:32:30
  This is the podcast. You can always go back to it.
• 1:32:32
  And if you're listening on TikTok, you can get on to NBR
• 1:32:35
  Radio on YouTube, on Spotify, on Roku.
• 1:32:39
  You can always go back and look this up.
• 1:32:42
  If you're thinking of hurting yourself right now because too
• 1:32:45
  much is coming up and are you thinking about ending your life,
• 1:32:49
  you don't feel safe. You need to dial 988 and if
• 1:32:57
  you're safe, it's something tonight keeps pulling at you.
• 1:33:04
  You contact me. You contact me about an
• 1:33:08
  individual operation session. It is an intentional exchange.
• 1:33:14
  And we look at what's presenting itself, right?
• 1:33:27
  Maybe it's patterns, maybe it's obstacles, maybe it's awareness,
• 1:33:34
  maybe it's balance. Soldier, I ain't carrying you.
• 1:33:40
  I'm standing and I'm not going to stand above you.
• 1:33:43
  And I'm not going to stand below you.
• 1:33:45
  I'm going to sit right beside you, Sir.
• 1:33:47
  Ma'am, if what comes forward needs medical, psychological
• 1:33:56
  recovery or emergency support, recognizing that it's a part of
• 1:34:02
  taking care of yourself, love yourself to do it.
• 1:34:06
  And if you can't, e-mail me two cap TWOCPT cause who the hell
• 1:34:13
  wants to write out the world of conscious positive?
• 1:34:16
  So it's twocap@gmail.com Or you can have two cap at MB Radio.
• 1:34:21
  dot US. Just put in the subject line
• 1:34:25
  Operation separation. You don't need to write your
• 1:34:28
  whole entire story. You just simply write something.
• 1:34:32
  Hit me, veterans, I love you. You already proved you know how
• 1:34:41
  to fight. You already proved you know how
• 1:34:43
  to stand. And you already proved that you
• 1:34:44
  have courage, and you already proved that you're responsible.
• 1:34:51
  Perhaps your next mission is in another battle, fighting your
• 1:34:54
  family and friends, or a back history.
• 1:34:58
  Maybe it's just time to open it. Maybe it's time to become aware
• 1:35:02
  what your back story was before you start blaming everybody else
• 1:35:06
  because you don't know something.
• 1:35:10
  Understanding what we're carrying becomes the awareness
• 1:35:15
  to balance our peace and our love.
• 1:35:20
  So finding the pattern, recognizing the obstacle,
• 1:35:23
  finding faith using our will, seeking understanding, restoring
• 1:35:27
  order, remembering strength, and finding life beyond the old
• 1:35:31
  mission. Coming back to heart, coming
• 1:35:35
  back to the love for all, which is what we did.
• 1:35:38
  We were service to others, which meant we had to love our
• 1:35:42
  country, God and mankind. So let's start finding our
• 1:35:48
  balance. And perhaps our balanced peace.
• 1:35:54
  Yep, I've experienced lost. I did not lose myself though.
• 1:35:59
  I experienced the loss. And now I understand something I
• 1:36:03
  couldn't have explained when I first separated.
• 1:36:07
  And I'm telling you that story today as a healed MJ.
• 1:36:13
  Took a while. Healing didn't rewrite what
• 1:36:16
  happened. Healing did not change where I
• 1:36:21
  stand when I look at what happened.
• 1:36:26
  My uniform came off. My ranks are gone.
• 1:36:31
  My medals in my appreciation letters are on my wall because
• 1:36:35
  nobody can take my history away from me, and nobody can take
• 1:36:40
  yours. The structures changed.
• 1:36:44
  The mission ended. You didn't, folks.
• 1:36:49
  I hope it helps. I'm MJ Gonzalez, and this has
• 1:36:52
  been Operation Separation on the world of conscious positive
• 1:36:56
  thinking right here streaming through the beautiful military
• 1:36:59
  broadcast radio. May divine guide you and your
• 1:37:04
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• 1:37:07
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• 1:37:12
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• 1:37:19
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• 1:37:22
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• 1:37:29
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• 1:37:33
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• 1:37:38
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• 1:37:41
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• 1:37:45
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• 1:37:47
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• 1:37:49
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• 1:37:50
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