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Why do narcissists feel like they can get away with everything they do · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Why do narcissists think that they can get away with
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  everything? Everything.
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  Why do they think that no matter what they do to you, it's OK?
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  Like they will all be forgiven and you should just get over
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  what? What goes on inside the mind of
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  a narcissist? What are they thinking when this
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  is going on? When this is happening?
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  That's what we're talking about today, y'all.
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  If you're new here, of course my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist here to give you the inside look at
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  the mind of a narcissist. And today we're talking about
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  literally why the hell do narcissists think that all
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  should be forgiven? Why do they think that they can
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  get away with any damn thing that they do to you that they
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  put you through whatever the case may be?
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  What what is going on inside their minds?
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  Let's hop right into it. Y'all?
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  Narcissistic people, toxic ass people really think that they
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  can get away with everything because you're still with them.
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  I said it. I look, this is not me trying to
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  victim blame or anything like that.
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  I know people when I say it like that.
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  People just like, well leave. Damn that was rough.
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  You'd have to blame the victims there.
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  That's absolutely not what I'm trying to do.
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  That's absolutely not what I do. Was the goal right there.
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  Narcissist use your presence in the relationship as an excuse
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  for their behaviors. They think just because you are
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  with me, you're with me, right? Just because you're with me, it
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  means that you the fact that you're with me is enough to let
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  me know that you're OK with what I do.
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  So why the hell would I stop doing something that I keep
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  getting forgiven for? If you keep forgiving me for it,
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  I'm going to keep doing it. That's the mind of a narcissist.
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  I know that's not how your mind works.
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  We'll leave. That doesn't make any sense.
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  If I were, if I did something and I asked for forgiveness, I
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  definitely wouldn't do it again. You're not a narcissist, are
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  you? So your mind doesn't work that
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  way. You're not going to think about
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  it from that perspective right there.
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  You're trying. You're coming in from a
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  completely different perspective, which makes
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  absolutely makes sense. It really does.
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  Let's keep it high and ready. It absolutely makes sense that
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  the narcissist or toxic person, whatever is you.
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  How do you feel, right? But narcissist don't care about
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  that type of stuff, y'all? They think because you are with
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  me, because you're here with me, because you didn't break up with
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  me, or even if you did break over me, you came back to me and
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  you forgive me. You are OK with it.
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  So why the hell would I not think that?
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  Why the hell would I not think that?
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  You are OK with what I have done if you take me back now
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  seriously, think about it from that perspective right there.
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  Why would I do it? I know I look out.
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  I know how the mind of an empath works, or a codependent person
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  or somebody who's not narcissist.
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  I know how your mind is thinking.
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  I know you. This doesn't make sense to you
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  because you're actually trying to take accountability, because
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  you're actually trying to be forgiven.
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  You're actually trying to make up for whatever you have done
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  wrong or however you've wronged someone else right.
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  You're trying to do that. I'm not, I think I'm trying to
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  avoid accountability at all costs.
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  So yeah, I might apologize, but the, you know, I might change my
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  behavior for a little while, but if you forgive me time and time
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  again for the same thing, then why would I not think that I can
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  get away with it? Y'all seriously, It's it really
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  is true black and white thinking.
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  If I'm so bad, why are you here? If you are hurting, why are you
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  with me? If you're unhappy here, why
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  don't you just leave? You see, it's black and white
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  thinking. So the black and white thinking
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  says hey, if you're if, if, if it's kind of like caveman
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  thinking right here, instead of saying black and white thing,
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  just take it over. Think of a caveman if.
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  If bad, why here? If no good.
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  Why stay? If unhappy, leave.
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  You see the caveman narcissist. If unhappy, you leave.
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  No, seriously. Think about it like that though,
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  y'all? Yeah, yeah, I got some.
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  I got some energy today, y'all. I'm back, man.
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  Goodness. First, thank goodness I'm back.
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  I mean, y'all going up and down these up and downs of depression
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  be knocking me off my game, but I'm back.
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  I'm back, baby. I'm more back than I've ever
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  been before. A refund.
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  I had a refund or something. Yeah, but seriously, that's the
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  mind of a narcissist. Like they use your presence in
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  the relationship as a permission slip.
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  Just a matter. Look, just a matter.
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  You don't know how you ever seen the the the show the office when
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  3 hole punched the gym and he just made himself like a hole
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  punch. Like just imagine yourself as a
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  writing pad as a next time you ask yourself why this
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  narcissistic person keeps thinking they can do the same
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  things over and over again, just imagine yourself as a permission
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  slip, right? Just imagine you dressed up as a
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  permission slip, permission to treat me badly because I'm
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  staying with you and your signature is on it.
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  You signed it. That's how narcissists look at
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  you. They look at you.
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  Your presence here, The fact that you're with me, I think
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  you're OK with it. I think the fact that you stuck
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  with me, the fact that you stayed here with me, the fact
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  that you stayed, the fact that you stayed with me through and
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  through, I think that you're fine with my behaviors.
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  And I know, yeah, I know people like Lee, this is kind of rough.
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  You sound like you sound like you're blaming the victim.
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  I am not blaming you. I'm just pointing it out to you
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  that if you stay with me, I'm not going.
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  Why would I change? Why would I change if you
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  continue to stay with me? That's what I'm just saying.
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  And I know people are going to see my journey and see the fact
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  that my wife came back or stayed or whatever y'all want to say.
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  Well, Lee, your wife stayed. Why shouldn't we, Because you're
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  not my wife in this situation right here, y'all?
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  I'm actually work working on myself.
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  I've actively been in therapy for eight years.
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  I just had therapy appointment yesterday.
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  Literally had a therapy appointment yesterday.
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  Seriously, it is super cool. It absolutely, absolutely is.
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  Actually shout out to the lady on Facebook who me and this lady
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  actually have the same exact therapist.
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  I put my therapy. I go to Sante Counseling in
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  Greensboro, NC, right? And I put it on there on
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  Facebook and she commented, I go there too.
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  My therapist has helped me for the last years and helped me
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  through my marriage or whatever. I still go there.
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  I said, I said my therapist's name.
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  She's like, I see the same person.
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  So it's shout out to you who have, we have the same
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  therapist. Super small world, right?
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  They're so usually my therapist helps people that are
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  narcissists and helps people that are work, they're living
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  with narcissists. She's an amazing therapist.
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  Sante Counseling in Greenville, NC.
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  But yes, yeah, that's where it happens.
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  That's where it goes. This is the mentality.
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  Yes, yeah. I'm so hype because I'm trying
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  to help so many. I'm like the rest of this year,
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  I'm trying to help so many people get free of their minds
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  of their mentality because look at yourself.
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  Look, look at yourself in the mirror.
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  And the next time you ask love, why does he why does this person
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  keep coming back to me and treat me horribly?
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  Look at yourself in the mirror. And just like, am I a permission
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  slip? Do I have do I have sign here on
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  my face right here. You want to know how I got this
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  scar? My narcissistic acts hates me.
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  No seriously, narcissists don't want to treat you better, y'all?
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  Narcissistic people want to be very, very low effort.
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  They want you. They want you to get you to the
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  point where you feel so beaten down or you feel so drained, you
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  feel so tired or whatnot that you just give up and you don't
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  want to fight anymore. They want to just put like, you
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  just accept the fact that they're going to cheat.
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  You accept the fact that they're not going to help out around the
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  house. You accept the fact that they're
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  not going to help with the kids. You accept the fact that you're
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  pretty much a married single parent.
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  You accept the fact that you might be paying the bills for
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  the rest of your life by yourself, right?
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  Seriously. And I know people when I people,
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  when I say paying the bills the rest of your life by yourself,
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  people think I'm just talking about men.
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  No, I'm not talking about men because of the picture
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  patriarchy, right? I don't know some women.
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  There's a lot of women who I talk to one-on-one over Zoom.
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  You can find those@mentalillness.net.
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  I talked to a lot of women who one-on-one on Zoom who are
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  paying out the bills and that narcissistic partners haven't
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  worked. Male partners haven't worked in
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  years, haven't worked in years. When they try to get a job, they
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  just, I don't really like that job.
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  Why do we need? Why do we need to work?
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  Why do I need to work anyway? You, it's not like you, even
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  though you're working for jobs, it's not like you handling
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  everything. Why do I need to work?
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  That's your life. They think because it's loud
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  they it's OK. I've been sitting on the couch
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  on my big stinking lazy ass for years and now it's a problem.
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  Why is it a problem? You You've been working 7 jobs
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  for the last four years. Why is it a problem now?
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  Every time you say you're struggling you just get another
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  job. What's the problem now?
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  Why can't you just get another job?
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  Ain't that crazy? What I'm saying?
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  This is the this is the mentality that so many abusive,
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  narcissistic people have beaten you down into.
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  They think it's OK. They think that their behavior
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  behaviors are acceptable, which they absolutely the hell are
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  not. They absolutely the hell the
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  hell they are. Hell no they not.
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  These behaviors are not acceptable by by any means, by
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  any way, shape or form. But it's up to you as a person
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  dealing with this abusive, weirdo, narcissistic person to
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  just understand that you have a fight ahead of you.
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  If you don't want to be treated this way, you have to start
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  trying to set boundaries. Well, leave boundaries with
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  narcissists don't work. Yeah, you see what I'm saying?
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  It means if they your boundaries don't work and they keep pushing
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  against your boundaries or keep violating them, then you might
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  have to make the tough decision of probably of maybe trying to
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  leave again if you can't leave financial situation or whatever
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  the case may be. Some of y'all like I've heard
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  these situations before. Y'all was like, Willie, I want
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  to leave, but I'm like, but what?
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  I have 8:00 kids and I don't work.
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  So now we got to work on the mental right Now, You see, I'm
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  not saying you can't get you can't get a job and start
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  working and stuff like that to build up the financial.
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  You have to toughen up the mental first because it's going
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  to be tough leaving with eight kids.
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  It just is be tough to leave on 6 because it's tough to leave.
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  Somebody just have to leave with one, right.
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  If you're, they move you across the country, you haven't worked
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  in years. You got a big, you got a 10 year
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  gap in your resume. It's hard to get a job, ain't
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  it? It really is.
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  So these are the situations and things like that are going to
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  arise. Like narcissists really do think
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  that they can get away everything because seriously,
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  they look at you as a permission slip and also they want to avoid
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  accountability. In my mind, if I can keep
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  getting away with it, that means I never have to be accountable
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  for my actions. I never have to be accountable,
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  accountable, accountable bowl for my behaviors.
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  Y'all, y'all know I got these. I have my teeth in.
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  I got these crowns a couple years ago.
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  I'm still learning to talk with them.
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  Certain words that come out, they just slurred and stumbled.
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  I was, oh I used to talk so I used to speak so well, but now
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  I'm stumbling and bumbling. It's all good though.
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  Me and y'all think I've made it to the end of this video.
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  If you haven't already, make sure to check out my website
• 11:15
  mentalillness.net for all things Lee Hammock.
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  I have a support group called the Mental Healers.
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  We meet every Sunday evening at 9:00 PM Eastern Standard Time
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  for a huge group meeting. There's a lot of survivors and
• 11:25
  thrivers in that group to check out joining the Mental Healers
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  support group. mentalillness.net for everything.
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  Y'all hit the subscribe button and I'm out Push.