Latest / Cash Confident with Brie Sodano / Redefining the Rules of Money

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Redefining the Rules of Money · Cash Confident with Brie Sodano

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Cash Confident podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I'm Brie Sedano, your fearless host, personal finance expert and the visionary behind the revolutionary Cash Confident community.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Get ready to embark on an electrifying journey where we redefine the rules of money and empower women to harness the immense power to craft a life they truly, truly desire.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: This podcast is the ultimate resource, meticulously crafted, for women who are ready to unleash their financial prowess and embrace a life of abundant success.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: We leave no stone unturned as we delve into the depths of money management, mindset mastery and the undeniable influence of emotions on your financial decisions.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Prepare to rise above the societal limitations and break free from the chains that have held you back, as we equip you with the tools and knowledge to make bold, confident choices with your cash.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: We believe that true financial power begins with knowledge, and that is exactly what we deliver.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: So buckle up, my fierce and ambitious friends, as we embark on this transformative journey to becoming Cash Confident together.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Today, we are going to be talking about financial comfort zone.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: I'm really excited about this topic because this is something that's really really super invisible and it is something that, if we want more wealth, more abundance and I mean really full life abundance not just the money, but like more love, more, just all of the flavors of good in our life.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Our comfort zone is something that we have to really pay attention to.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: So I will be talking about it in the context of money today, but what I find working with clients is the same things that I'm teaching you today Apply to all areas of your life, far beyond money.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: So we have a comfort zone, and you've heard the expression that everything amazing in life lives beyond your comfort zone, and that's mostly true.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: All right, so let's just get into it.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: So there are four layers of comfort zone that we're going to talk about today.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: So the first and most intimate layer to you about comfort zone is the level of identity.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Now, identity mostly lives in the mental realm.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: They're generally ideas, it's beliefs about yourself and who you are and who you are not, what you think is safe until I can navigate the world, and what you believe is dangerous to navigate the world, and what you think like your morals right, like what you think is right or wrong, good or bad, and things like that.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: And identity is interesting because we craft our identity a lot of times from our family and from just the way that we were brought up Like we just believe that this is just who we are, right.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: And so identity is one of the first layers of comfort zone, because if you want to do something that would require you to stretch beyond your identity, that's going to be deeply and profoundly uncomfortable.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: It may even feel dangerous, right, it may feel some kind of way.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: So when you've ever heard like a be do have right.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Like you know, when we set goals, it's who we have to be, what we're going to do, what we want to have.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: So we want to have drastically different things.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: We have to be something very different, and so this is the layer where we have to really look at where am I too small for who I want to be Like?
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Where am I too small for myself?
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: And start to really look at that identity level and see just what's going on there and see where you can stretch and what you can stretch into.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: And listen I have the cheesy little nugget of advice that you've definitely heard from every like childhood Disney movie you've ever watched, but I think it is worth reiterating Everything that you want to be, everything that you're becoming, already exists within you, and so when I'm working with clients, a lot of times they're looking outside, for the side for these things, like they're looking outside to be the next level version of themselves.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: They're maybe taking classes or getting a ton of coaching or things like that and listen, sometimes you need education and sometimes you need coaching.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: So I'm not saying that you shouldn't do those things.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: A lot of times you really need help to stretch at that identity level, because at your identity level it can be very difficult to see for yourself.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you may need an additional person to really help you see these things, because to you it's just always going to be normal, it's just the way that you are, it's just the way that you've been, it's just been your normal so far.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: But I will offer you this.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: So when we look inside of ourselves for our next level, then we can start noticing the places that we already are.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: And I'm going to give you an example to ground this.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: So right now I currently have a private client who is the most wonderful, wonderful woman and she is in real estate and she was, when she started working with me, mostly selling houses in the two to $300,000 range and she wants to be selling million dollar houses and so that is a very big jump and that's it.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: It's a tremendous difference in how she sees herself and the customers that she's going to be working with.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: And so she says, listen, that's not me, it's not who I am, it's not, it's not anything that resonates to me.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: And when I listen to her talk, I'm like, well, that's Not like she's lying to me, but that's not the entirety of the truth.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: And so I started asking her questions and I'm like, all right, well, have you been to the country club in your area?
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: And she said yeah.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: And I said, all right, well, have you been to the nicest restaurants in your area, the most expensive restaurants?
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: And she says yeah.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: And I said have you gone on expensive vacations?
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: And she says yeah.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: And I said and do you know people who live in million dollar houses?
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: And she was like, yeah, I probably know a couple.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: And I'm like and have you been to their houses?
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: And she's like yeah, every now and then.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: And so we start to see that her identity.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: She hadn't claimed those things because they're outside of the way that she sees herself, even though they're there, they're real, they're valid.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: And so one of the ways to start to stretch her identity is to start to see yourself outside of your identity.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: And so in me asking her those questions she was thinking that she would have.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: She said that these words.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: To me she was like not only am I not in the right rooms to do million dollar houses, I don't even know where the right rooms are.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: And I was like, see, to me that seems not all the way true, but to her it was true because she was living in the constructs of her identity and she hires me to see outside of those constructs.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: So I see things differently because I'm not her.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: And so in doing that she starts to see all of the places.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: She is already that person.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Now that doesn't mean she still doesn't have growth to do and places to stretch and confidence to gain.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: There's more to it.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: But she starts to claim the identity that I'm a million dollar producer, I sell million dollar houses.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: That starts to become something that she does, like she does Pilates.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: It starts to become part of that identity.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: And if we never question the current identity, we will really be limited, because everything outside of our current comfort zone of identity will feel so bad and dangerous and just so full of resistance.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: So identity is the closest and most intimate level of homeostasis, of that comfort zone.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: So that is the first place that, when you're stretching your comfort zone, you want to look, all right.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: So the second place that we want to start to look is in our mental realms.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: So when I'm working with clients, the things I'm looking for are where their beliefs are, like how big their mental landscape is, and then I'm looking at their emotional you know their emotional spaces and then I'm looking really at their nervous system capacity.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Now I'm going to do a pretty like a pretty brief description on all of those things, high level, and then I'll get into the mental realm.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: So if we were, if your life, like, if your yeah, if your life was a house, your mental realm would be the structures in which you live.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: So it would be the edges, like the edges of your walls, and that the outside of your house, like the walls with the doors, like you know, and the windows, and then the walls inside of your house that create hallways and things like that.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Right, like that's going to be in the mental realm.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Now, when we talk about limiting beliefs, limiting beliefs are beliefs that we have, where we're hoping, let's say, to have a bigger house, like to become something bigger and our belief structures don't match that.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: So limiting like some common examples of limiting beliefs, maybe things like there's no good jobs around here, I'm at the top of my pay grade and more isn't available to me.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: You know, you can have limiting beliefs about yourself, but those would be really more on what we just talked about at that identity level.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Like big money is not for me or for people like me.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: That is also, like you know, a limiting belief, but that lives more on the identity piece, on your person, than just on what you think like life has to offer you.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: So that's one way that the mental realm can provide limit.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: The other place is really in our judgments and it's in the way that we navigate the world.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: So if I am a person who thinks that being generous is the right and the good thing to do and being greedy is the wrong and the bad thing to do, but I want to charge more money and make more money for my services, that's going to be.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: I may bump up against that judgment and it may cause me to feel guilty for raising my prices.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: It may cause me to justify raising my prices and get weird in my sales process or things like that.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: So judgments are going to be things that you think are like right or wrong, is this good or bad, right or wrong?
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: And so when we look at the mental realms, stretching our comfort zone, so the things that we want to look for are what we think is possible in general, like do we believe that this is possible?
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Do we believe that it's possible in our area, possible with our level of education, and things like that, because that's going to help us to grow the size of that mental realm.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: So that's a place, and I will tell you this, money provides a lot of mental barriers, and so this is actually part of the reason why, if you've ever heard that lottery winners often go bankrupt within a couple of years, the reason for that is because it's like if you had a house and then, all of a sudden, all of the walls on the outside of your house came down, because money really provides the limit on the size of your life.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: So, for example, like I do pretty financially well and I can imagine traveling literally anywhere in the world, like that is within the scope of my mental realm, but I am not currently at the level where I'm traveling in private jets Like.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: I'm just not Even.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: Sometimes first class flights are a stretch for me Sometimes.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: I still don't always take a first class flight.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: So the idea that I could have the financial resources to get anywhere in the world to me is very, very possible.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: It's within my mental landscape.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: But the idea that I would be taking private jet transportation or yacht transportation to get there is far outside of my mental realm.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: So a lot of times when, when clients are wanting more, sometimes they say things like I literally can't even imagine making that much money, I can't even imagine charging that much.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: So to me that says says their mental realms need to stretch.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: And so there's two really things that you can do with yourself to stretch your mental capacity.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: So the first thing is learn how to break a limiting belief.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: Now I go over this in detail in my Money Mind Set Bootcamp course a 30 days to get a raise course, and I think those two for sure.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: But breaking a limiting belief, I mean I'll give you the quick and dirty version of it.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: You basically just question the truths Like.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: You just question it, is it like?
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Is it absolutely true that there's not a better job in this area?
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Is it absolutely true that more money is not available to me.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: And you start to just question these belief structures and once you see you have a belief that is no longer serving you, you can start to get your fingerprints on it and then you will take it down by questioning it.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: And the way that you can can do this is to either disprove it, which sometimes doesn't work Right.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Sometimes, like, let's just say, you work at a facility that does not offer salary negotiations, like it's just union position.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: You get steps, you get a raise every year, but it's you don't get to negotiate, there's nothing that you can do, there's nothing that you can ask for.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: Requests like that you know aren't honored in your workplace.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Now, that may be absolutely true.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: So trying to disprove that to yourself may feel like useless and maybe like, well, no, really, like I've seen other people do it and it doesn't work, like it's just not available.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean that that truth is available across the board.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: So you may have to ask yourself, all right, well, if I really wanted a different kind of work or to make more money, would I be willing to leave this job?
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: That's, that would really be the question.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Like, if I got offered something else, would I be willing to go.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: And then from there, you can start to open up.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Well, at this place, it is true that I'm at the top of the pay grade, but am I at the top of the pay grade in the whole rest of the world?
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Definitely not.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Are there people doing what I do that make more money?
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: Of course, okay.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: And then you start to add new versions of truth, and that helps you to do some perspective taking and it helps you to choose which truth you want to be working with, because, listen, for every single truth that you have, it's just a truth that's been true to your experience, because it's not the entirety of truth.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: Right, like, let's just say I have, like, I have a glass jar in my hand.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: I know this is a podcast, so you're probably not watching this, but I've a.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: You can hear me, I have a glass jar.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: So let's just say the glass jar is the truth, the objective, full truth about any subject at all.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: And I was to break this glass into a zillion different pieces.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Well, if I pick up a shard of that glass, it's still going to be true.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: It's just not going to be the entirety of the truth, and so that is a place where a lot of times, people get really, really stuck because they're like, no, it's definitely true that I can't have more, because it's definitely true that I'm on the steps and there's a union and I have to go through these sort of things for negotiation and I know they don't hire, they, they keep us on the exact same, like that could be true, but it's just not all of the truth.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: You're not actually limited by that, unless you choose to be limited by that, which is fine.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: You choose to stay at your job and deal with what you're working with.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with that, but it's also just a choice.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: It's not an actual limitation, right?
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: So fragments of truth.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: So our truths are generally based on our past experiences and they really have nothing to do with the future that we're creating.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: So you could have had like a very crappy upbringing around money.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Let's just say, for example, you could have grown up super, super poor and also want to be super, super rich.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: Now you cannot take those belief structures, that identity of being, the identity of being poor, the belief structure being poor, that emotional range of being poor, or the capacity, like the nervous system, capacity for survival mode into wealth.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: You're going to have to grow and expand and stretch past that comfort zone, but it's possible, like it's super duper possible.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: Poor people become wealthy people all of the time.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: We have a ton of evidence for that.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: So, breaking a limiting belief.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: The other thing that we want to do is start to really question our judgments.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: This helps us to grow our mental realms.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: So, questioning our judgments and balancing them out.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: So I will give you the example of greedy and generous, because we already talked about that.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: So most people would say it's right to be generous, it feels good to be generous, I want to be generous, I don't want to be greedy.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: It's wrong to be greedy, it's dangerous to be greedy, right, and it's like there's like a moral judgment about that.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: Now, in this case, the word greedy has a lot of negative connotations and there's actually not a word for somebody who just joyfully receives.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: But when we talk about generosity, it's somebody who gives without the expectation of exchange, right?
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: So if I give my money to charity, I'm not buying anything.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: There was no exchange, right.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: I'm giving my money joyfully, from my abundance to support whatever my cause is Right.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: Now that nonprofit needs to receive that without exchange.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: In the personal realm we really talk about that as being greedy.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: So most of us have the idea that receiving without exchange would be wrong or bad or greedy, or we would need to exchange, or we would need to do a tit for tat or if you pick up lunch today, I'll pick up lunch next time, kind of thing.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: So to just receive without the expectation of exchange would keep the generosity in balance.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: So most of us cut off our willingness to receive without exchange but are still willing to give without exchange.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: So what that ends up doing is it throws us out of balance and then our capacity to give gets smaller and smaller, because our capacity to give is bigger than our ability to receive.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: But the thing is is you have to receive to be able to have something to be able to give it?
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: I hope you're with me.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: So when we're unwilling to receive without exchange, our generosity then starts to need to be in exchange and it can even get resentful or a little icky or feel like obligation when we're giving because we haven't received.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: And so you need to be able to be both willing to receive without exchange to be able to be generous.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: So you need to be greedy to be generous, and the word greedy does have negative connotations it's there's not a word for the exact thing that I'm describing, but anyways, it's just.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: I think you're going to be with me, you're going to be with me on this, so we need to balance that so we can see all right.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Well, if being generous is right, is being greedy also right, like, is receiving without the hope of exchange also right and good?
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: And you could be like, yeah, like, think about it.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Have you ever given a gift to somebody and you definitely you weren't looking for an exchange.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: You didn't want them to give you a gift back.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: You didn't, you know, you just wanted them to.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Like, you bought it for them, right.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Like, like, when you give a gift to a little kid who's definitely never buying you a gift back there and child that they don't have a bank account, right, but you have the joy of watching them receive, right, and so there is a, there's an exchange, but it's invisible, it's an energetic exchange.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: So in their receiving, they pay to you in gratitude and happiness, right, and that feels good on both sides.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: It feels good to receive and it feels good to be the one that that gave.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: Now, if you've ever given a gift to somebody who says, oh you, shut the mouth, you don't have to do this, you don't have, you don't have done it.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: How does that feel?
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: You're like that's awkward, that's awkward, I'm sorry, I guess.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, do you like it?
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: It's weird, right.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: And so you know what it feels like to have your, your giving, not be well received.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: And so somebody being a good receiver helps somebody else to be generous.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: They go and balance with each other, and so this kind of mental game I'm talking with greedy and generous helps us to balance out these judgments.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: And so some of the judgments you know that I see around money are going to like a greedy and generous, selfish and selfless, you know, salesy or not salesy, pushy or not pushy, right, like.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: That's another place where there's a lot of judgments that get in the way of the flow of money responsible, irresponsible.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: So you have to start to look at these judgments around money and this helps us to really grow and expand our, our mental comfort zone around money.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: This helps us to be able to navigate.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: You know, like our limiting beliefs push the outside of the edges, but our judgments are basically how we navigate within this world.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: So those are some two of the ways that you can.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: You can grow this, this comfort zone, is by questioning your beliefs and by starting to balance out these judgments and seeing that both you know when we have a set of opposites but they're, that they really both play together.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: They're two different sides of the same coin and the more that we can navigate both sides of that coin, the more power we have to grow our comfort zone.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: So the next is going to be our emotional comfort zone.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: So some of us are used to feeling real bad.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: Right, like survival mode is a very different emotional temperature.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: I call it temperature because I think that's the best way to describe it.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Right, you can imagine being in survival mode and to me it's a very cold place.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Like it feels like there's not enough, there's not enough heat.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: There's like it feels smart, right, like it's a very, it's a cool.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: It's a cool temperature where wealth to me, with like abundance of love and free flowing food and good invitations and money in the bank, feels much warmer.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Right, so we have emotional you know, an emotional comfort zone.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: So oftentimes, like if you, gay Hendricks wrote a great book called the Big Leap and he talks about upper limit problems, which is which is very much worth worth reading the book.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: Quantity everyone.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: Temperature.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we can freak ourselves out Like, so, let's just say things are we're used to.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: For the sake of a metaphor, I'm gonna just put numbers on this temperature, even though I know that it can get too hot and also cause us to be unhappy.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Like, right, so, just for the sake of our metaphor, we will say that we would like to be as warm as possible.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Right, so let's just say we live in a house, so we'll stay with the same house metaphor.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: And the emotional temperature of the house has been 65 degrees.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: We've been a little in survival mode no money in the bank, feeling a little, you know, feeling some kind of way.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: And then we get a big promotion at work in our house and that eases up the stress.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: It makes us feel like we can make some upgrades with ourselves, some new clothes.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: We start feeling better about ourselves, right?
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, our temperature goes from 65 to 78, and we can just like in real temperature.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: If you go from a house that was 65 to a house that was 78, it's gonna be uncomfortable for a minute because you're gonna be dressed, you're gonna be.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Everything in your life is gonna be there for that 65 degrees.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: So you get up to 78 degrees and you're gonna be like, oh my God, it's hot in here.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: And then what we do when we're outside of that emotional, that emotional comfort zone is we may open up the windows in our lives or open up the doors or, you know, really do something to lower the temperature back down.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: And in real life that can be things like getting hurt, getting sick, getting in accidents, getting in fights with important people in our lives, our lovers, you know, our parents or siblings, whatever.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: We can do that by causing drama at work or in our friend relationships, and sometimes it's not even in the area that's improved.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we'll have like a financial increase and then all of a sudden our dishwasher, washing machine and pipes explode Like the dishwasher.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: What did I say?
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Those two things break and then your pipes explode, which is a thing that I literally talk about in my courses because it happens all the time.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: Just recently, I had a cash confident client who sold their house, had way more money in the bank than she was ever used to, and literally everything in her house that could spew water spewed water.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: The exact same week.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: These things happen.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: And it's interesting because when it's just you and you don't get to see the whole big picture and compare and contrast, it will seem like could I have caused that with my manifestations?
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: That's like it seems really unrelated.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: But when I look at it and I've talked to thousands of people over the last decade I mean I literally put, I literally put you know broken dishwashers in my courses because so many people who have a very drastic change in their money will have like water leaks, like it's a thing that I noticed, but like you're just one person who doesn't talk to a zillion people about their money, so maybe you wouldn't notice.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: So it's an interesting.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: It's an interesting thing.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: So our emotional temperature means that we have to stretch that range.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: So we have to start to really notice our feelings and learn how to process feelings.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: And so processing a feeling is really, first of all, noticing that it's there, identifying, acknowledging, approving of it and feeling it fully.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: And so when we're unwilling to process our feelings, sometimes they get bottled up, they get sticky, they cause like triggers or activations and they can cause a lot of havoc.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: So one way to stretch that emotional range is really to just to start bringing our attention into our body and just being with those feelings.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: And I will tell you that there are some feelings that are even that.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: They're good.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: They're deeply uncomfortable and you have to kind of learn to sit with them.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: And I'll give you just a quick example to ground this.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: So this is the story is about me and this is a good few years old, but I did an event where I was speaking and this was before my business was really national.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: So I was doing event in my hometown and I had a full room of people coming to learn from me over the weekend and I had invited my past clients to come to the event and if they were so willing to get up and speak about our experience working together and they did.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: A lot of my clients, my past clients came to share their experience was working with me and they did this uncompensated, like out of the goodness of their hearts.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: And then they did get to come to the event and I was when they got up on the stage to talk about how profoundly my work had impacted them.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: The level of positive attention coming my way freaked me out.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: I literally emotionally couldn't handle it and I actually went to the bathroom.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: Like I left the room when they were saying all these nice things about me right, and it was not because it wasn't disrespect, it wasn't anything like that, but it was because I was so uncomfortable receiving that level of attention and in my body it resonated as like humiliation.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: And it wasn't.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: It was being honored, it was being seen, it was being.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: There was a certain level of vulnerability there but, dude, I couldn't handle it Like.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: I literally couldn't handle it.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: I literally walked out of the room and I had to work with myself on that.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: So I had to learn.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: So that situation was too far out of my comfort zone emotionally.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: But what I would do is when I get like testimonials, or when somebody sends me an email telling me how my work has really helped them, like I really learned to sit with it and to let it in and to really like be with those feelings in my body and to like let them nourish me.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: And it took a little bit of practice, but now that's something where I can really ask.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: I can even ask for things like testimonials right, like on this podcast.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: I've asked for reviews, which, by the way, if you haven't reviewed this podcast, you know shameless plug please go.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: Please go say nice things about me on the interwebs, but it's like, please do that review for me.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: I can even ask for that, that kind of attention, where years ago I couldn't because it was outside of my emotional comfort zone and at that time I wasn't able to ask for testimonials, which definitely had a financial impact on me.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Right, like, for somebody as far in my business as I am, I have probably less testimonials than somebody else who didn't have that emotional little baggage.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Right, because for the first couple of years in my business I didn't want testimonials.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: Like, I didn't want people to say nice things about me.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: I didn't want it to happen because it was so uncomfortable.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: All right, so that emotional piece learning how to be with a feeling and process it and really let your body grow and expand into that right.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: Which takes me to my last place of comfort zone that we will be talking about today, which is capacity and Luis Mojica, who does the Holistic Life Navigation podcast, I think is what it's called.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: He's on Instagram, he's wonderful, he has a great episode on capacity and sometimes he even like he'll even make reels or posts about it.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: So, listen, inside of our body we have.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: Our nervous system exists and we have a certain amount of capacity for our body, for our body to be able to hold our attention on something, and so the emotional piece really plays into the capacity piece.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: But sometimes, if we've experienced trauma or if we've really experienced fear, a lot of fear, a lot of tension, sometimes our body will literally close.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: I'll call it close to close off, close off to an opportunity, and so you can see when you're talking to somebody and they're beyond the capacity, you'll kind of watch them either zone out, leave a conversation, change the subject, stone wall.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: These are things that we do and we're really beyond our capacity.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: And so sometimes, if we have experienced a lot of, let's just say, fear, for example, it may still be partially in our nervous system and it may be blocking some capacity, and so sometimes we need to do some this isn't just money, mindset work.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you have to go see a therapist or whatever to work on these issues so that way your body can feel safe in different environments.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: So sometimes it's our nervous system that shuts us off from being able to receive something.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: It's like our body literally can't handle it, even though our mind would be like oh yeah, girl, give me all the good stuff.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: Your body's like, oh my god, if we get something good.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: It reminds me of that time that my aunt died after something good happened and I'm freaking out and I don't want that something good to happen.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: Or I don't want something good to happen because then something bad's gonna happen.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: I don't want something good to happen because then the other shoe is gonna drop.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: I don't wanna feel joy because if I feel joy, something bad is gonna happen.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: So sometimes those are the kind of things that happen when we maybe have a little work to do stretching our nervous system.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: So I'm gonna just do a quick recap and so listen for capacity, capacity, nervous system work is a little bit more of a slogan.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: It's a very deep work.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: A lot of times when I'm working with clients, we make tremendous, tremendous progress in the identity level, in the mental realms, in the emotional realms and sometimes, if you're really working on your nervous system capacity, some people that you may wanna follow.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Like I said, luis Mohica is a great resource.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: Kimberly Ann Johnson is a great resource.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: She wrote a book called the Call of the Wild, which I thought was phenomenal, and the workout, which is also on Instagram, and she teaches small, easy to do exercises to start to release stored trauma from the body.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: Now, listen, if you're working with very big trauma capital T, devastating life circumstances get a practitioner who specializes in trauma, all right, like go see somebody to get help with that.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: But it's, those are things that will affect our comfort zone.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: That goes a little bit beyond just their financial comfort zones, but anyways, all right.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: So your identity level is one place that you will have a comfort zone.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: It is like the homeostasis of who I am right.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: Then we have the mental realm, and so that teaches that that is the comfort zone of like what I can imagine, like the size of my life.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: Your belief structures are gonna help to define the size of your life, what is possible within that life, and then your judgments help you to navigate that world safely.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: Right Now we talked about some judgments that we may wanna change, and there are other judgments that are there for a good reason, to make perfect, perfect sense, like so, for example, I firmly believe and have judgments that it is a bad idea to walk on the highway.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: When I see somebody walking on the highway, I am nervous for them because I see that as dangerous, right?
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: So I have a judgment that says that is a bad idea, that is dangerous.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: Do I wanna change that judgment and like move my running route.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: Just kidding, I don't have a running route.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: But like, let's just say I did have a running route along the highway absolutely not.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: It still seems like a bad idea to me.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: That judgment is serving me.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: So just your judgments help you to navigate the belief structure that holds the size of your life.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: Our emotional capacity is what defines what range of feelings we're willing to have, right?
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: So when we want to have more abundance, it's generally because we want to feel different.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: So we want to change that emotional comfort zone from, like I said in my example before, like 65 to 75, and that can be uncomfortable at first.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: So that's something that we wanna look at in that layer.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: And then that nervous system capacity does play very much in with that emotional realm.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: They're separate, but a lot of times in real life they're very tangled together, like they're harder to discern together.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: But sometimes we will have our body like literally won't have the capacity for the feelings that we're hoping to have.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: So sometimes we have to work on our ability to really get our body to process old feelings so that way, our mind and our emotions and our identity can all shift right.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: So those are the four different levels of comfort zone.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: I hope you learned a lot.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: I hope you can take some of this and implement it and go forward in life.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: If you're looking to work on your financial comfort zone in a one-on-one capacity, I currently have a private coaching spot that is opening, so you're welcome to shoot me an email or send me a DM on one of the socials.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: That's something that you wanna discuss, and we have some of this more this information more detailed in Money Mindset Bootcamp and 30 Days to Get Arrays, which are two of the courses that are included inside of the cash-confident community, or you can buy them separately if you choose.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: All right, I love you, I appreciate you.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to me.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Please, if you learned something today, please feel free to share my episodes with anybody and everybody who you think will benefit, and please, please, take a moment and write a review.
• 37:02
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• 37:10
  Speaker 1: So please pay it forward to somebody else who has no idea that you listened or anything else, so that way they can see ooh, this one's got a lot of good reviews, so maybe I'll listen to it too.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: All right, have a great day.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: Bye, everybody.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: It was my pleasure and joy to talk with you today.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: If you found value in our conversation, I kindly ask you to share the show with a friend who deserves to unleash her financial power.
• 37:39
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• 37:43
  Speaker 1: Together, we can amplify the message and bring more money into the hands of good women.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: For ongoing guidance and unwavering support on your financial journey, I invite you to join the Cash Confident community.
• 37:55
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• 37:59
  Speaker 1: Join to become part of our powerful community of women where we uplift and inspire one another to reach new heights of financial success.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Remember, you possess the power to shape your financial destiny and, with the Cash Confident podcast and the support of our remarkable community, you are unstoppable.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: Embrace your financial power, create the life you desire and let's ignite a movement of Cash Confident women who are transforming the world.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: $1, one decision at a time.