Latest / TFEs: Thoughts. Feelings. Emotions. (sports) / But I REALLY love you

Transcript

But I REALLY love you · TFEs: Thoughts. Feelings. Emotions. (sports)

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: What's going on? Coming up? On this week's tfis. We
• 0:07
  covered a lot of different topics, but it started off
• 0:10
  really news.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, what's gross? In the beginning freak just grow.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Just you know, Yeah, I'm just kidding.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: Well, it was just got it got gross and a
• 0:18
  couple of different topics. This is not a good lead
• 0:20
  to the pod, but yes, there would find out why.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: If I was listening to it and be like, what
• 0:25
  was so nice?
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there was some weird shit. It was a lot
• 0:27
  of it, So.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: Enjoy the first twenty minutes and then we got into.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Some real stuff. We take a look back at our
• 0:35
  trip to Charleston, talk about family, roots, love and what
• 0:39
  it means to be a part of.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: A big family.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we did a lot of that. We covered a
• 0:44
  lot of different topics. Also, I think part of my
• 0:46
  thing was today seemed like a pretty bad day, but
• 0:49
  we're we're ending with a very much positivity. Got a
• 0:52
  lot of resolve. I feel good about that and that
• 0:53
  was tested through this podcast. My resolve was tested through
• 0:56
  this podcast.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Tfies the Australians and Emotions.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: Let's go.
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: There's a penis mentioned too.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, what's going on? Welcome into TV's Dalan Path
• 1:11
  cal Syris here for another episode.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: I have like a lot of random thoughts off the
• 1:19
  top by all means, Lady fire Rings, I.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Feel like my my brain is scattered, starting with these
• 1:26
  gummy bears that are in my hand.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're eating gummy bears. I'd Eti're gonna have a
• 1:29
  full bag. Prop Did you not put the bag up here?
• 1:31
  Because it's like it's an industrial sized bag. It's like
• 1:33
  a good five pounder.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: There's a bubble in your chair. Sorry, I'm distracted.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Oh was it alive?
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: Apparent?
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Oh god, you just went You just went for I'm
• 1:45
  gonna eat my gummy bears as you walk away. That
• 1:49
  was an interesting looking bug. I don't feel good about that.
• 1:54
  No one's currently washing his hands. I'm just gonna keep
• 1:56
  talking about these gummy bears because what I was gonna
• 1:58
  say is I feel very strongly about the red gummy bears.
• 2:03
  And before I sat down, doll And asked me if
• 2:05
  you could have a couple, and he specifically tried to
• 2:08
  take two of the reds and those are by far
• 2:12
  the best color.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: I almost lost the digit doing that.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: Was that, like, do you like the reds or did
• 2:18
  you do that?
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: Was just the reds are always good.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: I know you like the reds, but the reds are
• 2:21
  the best ones, followed closely by the clear ones. In
• 2:23
  my mind. Clear they're like a pineapple, pineapple, pineapple, I
• 2:26
  know what that was a pineapple thing. But yeah, we
• 2:29
  have the biggest bat. We have a Costco size bag
• 2:30
  of those things. But I thought you were going to
• 2:32
  give some good product placement here, but you decided to
• 2:34
  leave it back there. But you got them in your hand.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I know, I only have like ten more left in
• 2:37
  my hands.
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: It's hard to.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Talk and chew those things. So you're doing a great
• 2:41
  job what.
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: You look.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know how You're not going to
• 2:45
  be picking out of your teeth right now.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: I feel like with gummy bears, you don't really have
• 2:49
  to chew, you just like can kind of.
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: Say it girl, do it? Yeah, swallow.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: That's what I was setting myself up for there. Wow, anyway,
• 3:00
  I'm gon shooting something now. That was one of my
• 3:02
  first random thoughts off the top. I also, as I
• 3:04
  put on these shoes I never do and I was thinking,
• 3:07
  I was like, people probably if they watch this online.
• 3:10
  I mean, I guess you know that we do this
• 3:12
  in our house, like we've alluded to it before, but
• 3:15
  it's probably like we feel very casual, but like it
• 3:19
  does look like we're like in a studio and just
• 3:21
  randomly not wearing shoes or wearing socks.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: But you're at least wearing actual shoes.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: But I never do.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I only did this just because, yeah, usually I have
• 3:29
  on slippers with like an outfit or something.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: Oh I didn't. I mean, I honestly look like a
• 3:34
  bit of a homeless man. These socks.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Like part of the reason I have to do you
• 3:38
  don't look like a homeless man because there's a new
• 3:40
  socks I gave you. Because most of your socks you
• 3:42
  do look like a humble Well, this is the problem.
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: I got to wear the socks because my toe game
• 3:47
  is not very good right now.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Kalan's can I ask you?
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Kallan's on down?
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: Wow, she thinks she's hilarious. It's like a Mitch pitch
• 3:54
  if I recall correctly. Though that was real funny. I
• 3:59
  gotta say my toe game's not good right now. We
• 4:01
  could use either me just cutting my toenails or getting
• 4:03
  a pad of care. One of the other is that
• 4:05
  the most like unattractive, like what's the most unattractive thing
• 4:08
  to keep unkempt?
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Toes, the hair, facial hair, others.
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: I don't know. There's a bunch of things. What would
• 4:15
  be the worst to be keep unkempt? And am I
• 4:19
  doing the worst?
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: One? I guess is the question.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: No, I feel like they're a grocer thing.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. It depends on how long
• 4:24
  your toenails would get. But toenails aren't like you just
• 4:27
  have like no offense, but like kind of weird toes anyways,
• 4:30
  weird feet. I just got your totails. Unfortunately for him, I.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: Hope he has a lot of other my qualities too,
• 4:36
  obsessiveness and this ability to talk on stop. For the
• 4:38
  two week check, curly hairs got a lot from assade
• 4:41
  to start there might have last pass this week. We
• 4:43
  can come back to that shortly if you want. We'll
• 4:45
  find out.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: I would say probably like nose hair, you don't really
• 4:50
  have that, but like.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: For your hair, that's a good one if you're because
• 4:54
  it's something that you just like look at somebody and
• 4:56
  see right away and you're like, oh God, can you just.
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: Like you gave me the chills?
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that I actually like ear hair in
• 5:02
  particular for me, I think can distract me like I
• 5:04
  will if I I will if I in the angle,
• 5:05
  I'm looking at your head, if you had an ear
• 5:07
  a hair situation, I would be like looking at your
• 5:09
  ear more than be listening to you.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: You're saying, you know, Okay, this just came to my mind,
• 5:13
  and I guess I should just say it. There was
• 5:16
  somebody that I knew for a long time. I won't
• 5:20
  say how I knew them or anything, just because I
• 5:21
  don't want to, like.
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: Don't want out them in their ears.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, even tho I don't think they had any
• 5:24
  idea yet there was like a black head inside their ear.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, just permanently.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: It was like always there. And I wanted to say
• 5:32
  something because I'm like, you probably can't see it, but
• 5:35
  it's all that I see all the time.
• 5:38
  Speaker 5: So outside of just ear hair in your ear, that's
• 5:43
  this is a gross one. I'm still eating you, so
• 5:46
  yeah you're and you're doing great chewing and talking. Like
• 5:48
  I said before, on that note, though you mentioned the
• 5:51
  black head. Is there anything women find more satisfying than
• 5:55
  popping than popping a pimple or pulling an ingrown hair?
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: I felt like, out of my personal.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Experience, we don't do that far like far enough.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so why do you? Like, why do you what
• 6:04
  is so satisfying to women about those things? I feel
• 6:06
  like it's kind of a universal truth.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know, it just like feels good. It's
• 6:11
  kind of like weeding, Like you know.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: I hate weeding.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: See the progress, it's good to do it and the
• 6:16
  pain that we get in.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: That.
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: Okay, there might be something there.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: If you do the ingrown hair is right, you're not
• 6:23
  inflicting a lot of pain.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: But yes, okay, good to Okay, gross topic.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: I feel like there's relatable though, come on people, I
• 6:31
  mean people are wondering. Yeah, I mean, I mean easily
• 6:35
  for a guy, there's just one for a woman. That
• 6:36
  seems it's very evident. Seriously, there's nothing that could jungle
• 6:41
  unkempt vagina. There's just nothing worse than that. It's it's
• 6:44
  just terribly I.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Feel like people probably have different opinions on that, especially
• 6:47
  different culture.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, no, it's not about the I'm
• 6:49
  not about hair. It's unkempt if it's just a chaotic
• 6:53
  mess and then exudes different other things. We had a problem.
• 6:56
  We got a real again, it's unkempt. It's not that
• 6:59
  it is a different taste. It's different a different Yeah,
• 7:06
  to each their own about what the look may be.
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: Leave off the.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Taste part, but yes, more so than like if a
• 7:17
  woman had like nosehirs coming on or.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: Know, yeah, that would be really distracting. It'd be a problem.
• 7:22
  But I think we could fix that. The other one
• 7:24
  we made up be able to fix. Like you're trying
• 7:27
  to You're trying to get to that spot anyway, and
• 7:29
  when you get there, it's that bad, tough, tough.
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: Other than that, no, nose hairs are universal.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: I guess anybody's body odor situation, which means your body
• 7:39
  that is unkempt. That's a problem.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, those are my thoughts off the top.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: That was it.
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: I thought you had more.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: I feel like there was a couple of other random
• 7:48
  thoughts that were running through my head, but those were
• 7:50
  like the main pressing ones that were like.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: I thought we was going to go into what just
• 7:53
  happened in Day's room.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: I thought that was going to be like a top.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Oh well, just considering there was a bug I just
• 7:58
  found like some kind of poop in Dasi's room.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty see this is the problem.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: You don't. I'm pretty sure you said it with confidence
• 8:03
  and you backed off. We don't know what that is.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: Well, because chat GPT is talking me off of the ledge.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: It's definitely some kind of you know how wrong chat
• 8:09
  GPT is all the time, all the freaking time. And
• 8:12
  I've realized that more and more, the more times I've
• 8:14
  asked them questions, try and engage them. Wrong a lot,
• 8:16
  I guess when you switch to CLAD. I think this
• 8:19
  is a universal thing with LLLM. So that said, and
• 8:22
  they're also sick of fans. As soon as you say
• 8:24
  you try to walk things back, they'd be able to
• 8:25
  walk things back.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: Well, my prompt I prompt to chat GPT was help what.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Is this.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: For the picture?
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: It did not look good, but I don't understand it
• 8:37
  because there's little brown things that you think are poop
• 8:39
  of something, which could but it's nowhere else on that floor.
• 8:42
  It's nowhere. I was looking on the floor, there's nowhere upstairs.
• 8:45
  And it leads me to believe that I think our
• 8:48
  son pulled like a gorilla move and threw his own poop.
• 8:50
  Sometimes I don't think.
• 8:51
  Speaker 6: So, because a of all there. There wouldn't just be
• 8:53
  like little something pooped in Dace's room. Dace, I don't
• 8:58
  think it was day. If you threw it, it would
• 9:01
  be other places. We would see it on his hands,
• 9:02
  that we would see.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: It on the walls.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: They would like there would be signs if da poop,
• 9:08
  did we cha?
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Now? It could have been pebblic This is a really
• 9:10
  discussing podcast. We can get off the topic. I think
• 9:13
  that's a theory that I have to put forward.
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't know what it is.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: I can't explain the lack of anything anywhere else makes zero.
• 9:19
  So I think there's like a mouse trapped in his
• 9:21
  freaking room. Also, if there's a mouse, we have hardwood floors.
• 9:24
  You hear it a lot. We heard a thing here.
• 9:28
  And we've been so tired. We're like dead, dead asleep,
• 9:31
  and you're gonna give us. We know you're tired.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: You're also tired. You took a nap yesterday so hard
• 9:38
  that you had a dream on the couch. That was
• 9:40
  the best nap of the last ten years. I mean,
• 9:42
  absolute comatose. It was unbelievable. Is everything I thought it
• 9:46
  would be?
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: More like I said, we are so tired today, you're
• 9:50
  not going to wake the whole time doing stuff.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but it wouldn't be running around when we were here.
• 9:55
  It would be like running around only when we're sleeping,
• 9:58
  not moving. That's how it is.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: It it is no, it's not.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: Have you had mice before?
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: Oh my god.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: We had like we had an infestation in college in
• 10:05
  the house we lived in. Completely Also we had Ralphie
• 10:06
  the rat downstairs, but upstairs we had a horrible mice
• 10:09
  issue which you would see them. You would in the
• 10:11
  day you come home, work out, come home from the
• 10:14
  Jimmy open the door. Sometimes right there they scatter all around.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: I think the worst one was this was gross.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: I'd be sleeping in bed my keyboard because across the keyboard,
• 10:24
  which is like at my head level. Oh, I'd freak out.
• 10:26
  You would see a bunch of ground did we get here?
• 10:28
  Throwing men on our floor?
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: Literally.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: I would like go into Preston's room prestolow next to me.
• 10:32
  I would go like, wake up, wake up, I gotta
• 10:34
  be freaked out. And I would like try to get
• 10:36
  to his room with the least amount of steps on
• 10:37
  the ground, and then he'd be like standing on his bed.
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: And I'd be like on the food talk and like
• 10:41
  looking around. It was so sad.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: You might be the last person I won in the
• 10:46
  room with me if I like, you handled that bug
• 10:48
  really well, But if there's a mouse, you might be
• 10:50
  the last person I want in the room with me.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: Ironically, given my experience, I'm okay, but there's an immediate
• 10:55
  freak out and then yeah, I think you would be
• 10:57
  like on my back. There been times we've had to
• 10:58
  like kill them, like it was freaking gross. And then
• 11:00
  you had the rat trap. You had the traps in
• 11:02
  the room too. I had to do this is the
• 11:04
  glue traps and that you'd hear it's dragging half its
• 11:07
  body around.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Okay, that is too sad.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: When I lived at my last my last house in Connecticut,
• 11:15
  when I had been gone I think it was for
• 11:16
  COVID actually, and I came back and there was I
• 11:19
  had downstairs in there. It was like a partially finished basement.
• 11:22
  The laundry room part was not finished, but then the
• 11:25
  other part was in the laundry room. Remember there was
• 11:27
  that like industrial saint. There was a like the remnants
• 11:31
  of a mouse that had fallen in there and just
• 11:33
  died and had been in there for.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: Weeks because I was gone for weeks. I mean, it
• 11:36
  was like almost nothing.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: So I had a set I called the exterminator and
• 11:40
  how to set traps and everything, but I was so
• 11:43
  scared to check them because I was like so broken
• 11:45
  hearted that I was going to be like killing these animals.
• 11:47
  It was devastating. Anyways, this is a really this is
• 11:49
  not the intention of the podcast. This is really gross
• 11:52
  so far, bugs, rats, poop. I think people in gummy
• 11:57
  bears in gummy bears.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: Let's go.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: So those are my thoughts off the top feeling.
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: The gummy bears. We didn't get your feelings of motions.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: It was just thoughts.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: I know, I was just saying, those are my thoughts.
• 12:09
  But now to get to feelings and emotions. Did you
• 12:12
  have another gummy bear question?
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: I'm done. I've interrupted enough.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: You want some more gummys feelings and emotions. I am
• 12:22
  feeling a lot of gratitude for the last couple of
• 12:27
  weeks with family and on the road and the time
• 12:31
  that we had in Charleston, and I think I'm just
• 12:35
  like feeling nostalgic about it too, Like for me, it
• 12:39
  was last time we.
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: Got to go.
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: What was that two years ago when we went with
• 12:44
  Leara the first time that she went down there last
• 12:47
  summer too, oh yeah, two years of the first time. Yeah,
• 12:49
  the first time we went down there, Like.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: She was just meeting the huge family that I have
• 12:55
  for the first time, Like knew the close family, but
• 12:57
  the extended family. Dace was like, you know, a little nugget,
• 13:01
  just a couple months old, and it like wasn't the
• 13:04
  full experience I was, you know, still I'm still a
• 13:07
  nervous mom, but like you know, super nervous mom.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: He was so little. I just felt like it was
• 13:13
  kind of like seeing my childhood, like them.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: Getting to experience my childhood, you know, being in the
• 13:21
  backyard playing friends over all the time, swimming. You say
• 13:25
  you're doing one thing with family, there's going to be thirty.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: People that show up. Like to me, that was like
• 13:29
  what was so special about growing up was.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: The family and the community and just the memories all
• 13:37
  together all the time. And so it was like really
• 13:40
  really special to have everybody there and be inundated with it.
• 13:43
  After we got days baptized, which was really special and
• 13:46
  meaningful as well, especially because we had such an awesome
• 13:49
  crowd of family and friends that came to you know,
• 13:52
  take part in that with us. I that night was
• 13:56
  going to send a group text to like all my
• 13:58
  family members. I like wrote it on my phone, and
• 14:00
  then I didn't do it because I was like, you're
• 14:02
  so emo and in your feelings right now, this is
• 14:05
  like they're all going to be like issue.
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: I was like, I'll just sure is that par for
• 14:08
  the course?
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But I was like, I'll just write it and
• 14:10
  thank you note instead of sending like a mass text.
• 14:12
  But what I kind of like, what I was feeling
• 14:14
  is what I'm describing now, Like, it was very special
• 14:17
  to me that, like, you know, I talk a lot
• 14:18
  about we talk a lot about, you know, it being
• 14:22
  hard being away from family. It was really special for
• 14:24
  me to feel like the kids still will get to
• 14:28
  experience what I thought was so special about growing up
• 14:31
  with aunts and uncles and cousins and grandmas and all
• 14:34
  of that in the same place and so that even
• 14:36
  though we're not there, they still get to like see
• 14:38
  that and feel that and experience it, even if it's limited.
• 14:43
  So nostalgic and grateful for the time, and emotions are anxious.
• 14:55
  You have a lot coming up in the next couple
• 14:58
  of days, next couple of weeks, weeks, A lot on
• 15:02
  the horizon with life and work and everything, and so
• 15:05
  I think just trying to like be present but also
• 15:11
  like not look too far ahead, which is the hard
• 15:13
  thing to do.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: HM, that's good. I think my thoughts were. My thoughts
• 15:19
  are more. I was really interested in your thoughts. When
• 15:21
  you walked up with a gummy bear bag, I was
• 15:23
  just like, Wow, what is going on? What are we
• 15:25
  what are we dealing with here? But my lady needed something,
• 15:28
  which I wonder what your feelings and emotions would be
• 15:30
  once I saw the bag, But I guess.
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: They were somewhat more positive than I thought.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: I don't know, well, I don't feel great, and I
• 15:36
  just like, I don't know, wanted a bear or forty?
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: Well?
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: I yeah, you know, just keep going there we.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: Go, get more bears in your system, don't drop that book,
• 15:46
  don't drop days.
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: Gonna wake up for the bears. She had to do
• 15:50
  it for the bears, not for the Graham. For the bears.
• 15:52
  Oh no, help me, My thoughts are I'm good. Thank you.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: As you crunkle your thing as I try to go
• 16:02
  through my tfis that's good? My thoughts are out. These
• 16:07
  are good for you. I don't care what youuca says.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: The whole reason I got addicted to gummy bears is
• 16:10
  because the Panthers trainers used to have them in the
• 16:12
  locker room for the guys to eat, like before or
• 16:15
  after practicing games and everything, and they'd being little cups.
• 16:17
  Since I figured, if this is where we're feeding NFL
• 16:19
  players to get them ready for games, and they care
• 16:23
  about their body, then these are probably good for me
• 16:25
  to eat.
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: So a couple things. Do you know what those regular
• 16:29
  gummy bears were? Some stuff in there? No, they were right, okay,
• 16:32
  just double checking. There was some sort of doctor gummy
• 16:34
  bear for the football players.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: I mean I never felt special after I eat them.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: Actually all nothing has changed more in our sports than
• 16:41
  sports science and how the body reacts. And that was
• 16:43
  what circle I tune in twenty fifteen, twenty sixteen, I
• 16:46
  imagine they're not having gummy bears there anymore.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: They probably are.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: They went to the Super Bowl, I mean, where do
• 16:50
  you want? Then a win came to jump on the ball.
• 16:52
  Besides that, the same cave the.
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: MVP, so that's why that helped them get there that
• 16:57
  year thoughts mine, I guess are more just about today.
• 17:05
  Today was a hell of a day. Today was like
• 17:07
  a I feel like I've been in like eight different
• 17:09
  emotional mental states today, so it's almost.
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: Coming.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: I think my thoughts are like scattered on a bunch
• 17:16
  of different things. I think my feelings though about like
• 17:20
  what has been like a day that started with a
• 17:22
  lot of positivity, then had a pretty big piece of
• 17:24
  adversity or hit come your way. Then you're coming back
• 17:27
  this It was like a lot of up and down
• 17:28
  with different things. I feel like I've been like a
• 17:34
  little exhausted by it. But then as I was talking
• 17:37
  thinking about the last twenty three minutes, I've and my
• 17:39
  energy may reflect it, I feel like resolved. I feel
• 17:41
  like my emotion is like I'm I'm grateful for the
• 17:44
  challenges ahead. I feel resolved in finding a way to
• 17:47
  solve these certain things that are and one that was
• 17:49
  particularly like painful to be like, oh shit, that really sucks.
• 17:55
  But there are solutions to these things, and then the
• 17:57
  ones that may not have solutions. It's how do we
• 18:00
  manage those those things as best we can. I feel
• 18:02
  like I don't know I thought, given where I was
• 18:05
  about eleven fifteen to where I am now is pretty different.
• 18:11
  So I think that is like a positive like resolve
• 18:15
  that is built through the day and the more like
• 18:16
  I've worked on some of the things and thought about
• 18:18
  it and talked about it.
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: It's like I'm trying to be It's not like I'm
• 18:21
  trying to even be positive. Like it's like I believe this.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: These things are going to work the right way we
• 18:24
  got I got to work to do certain things to
• 18:26
  make them happen. It's some other people too, but it's
• 18:29
  gonna be good. And that's not the way I felt
• 18:31
  eight hours ago. So I'm glad I got there. And
• 18:34
  I think the last thing you said that's is there
• 18:37
  are a bunch of different things coming up, like trying
• 18:39
  to be where my feet are right now for the
• 18:40
  next couple of days, I think is really important and
• 18:43
  not worry about what's so far long term ahead, but
• 18:47
  just let's let's get some stuff. Let's get the things
• 18:50
  done that I can get done. Are you heard this
• 18:52
  saying I'm sure you have worries like a rocking chair. No,
• 18:58
  I thought was worry like a worry like a what
• 19:00
  was the name of that book? Pop out fish? But
• 19:02
  go ahead, pop out fish in. The word.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: Worry even bigger, even bigger than a why no. The
• 19:09
  saying is worry is like a rocking chair. It gives
• 19:12
  you something to do, but you don't get anywhere.
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: Ah.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: Yes, I do know that one, and.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: I think it's so relevant and something I probably need
• 19:20
  to think about more because I'm a really good warrier from.
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: The top three and the Eastern Seaboard, ranking high behind
• 19:26
  my dad. He's top one in America.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: His worry, too, almost like sometimes now comes with like
• 19:35
  a touch of like levity, like he says it knowing
• 19:39
  that it's gonna like get under my skin.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: Like yeah, like you know what I mean.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Like he's like, I gotta say it because I came
• 19:43
  in my mind and I know I know that you
• 19:45
  know that Day doesn't know how to go downstairs by himself,
• 19:47
  But like just in case you're wondering, Like before I left,
• 19:51
  he was like, so, what are you guys doing about
• 19:52
  the stairs at your house?
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: Do you still have the gates up? I'm like, yeah, Dad,
• 19:58
  like does he do it by himself?
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: And I'm like no, just trying to be patient answers
• 20:02
  questions like Okay, I mean, I know it anyways, So
• 20:05
  I get my worrying from him.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: It's not like they spelled on the stairs. Not if
• 20:09
  there's even stairs there other than the couple that are
• 20:10
  going outside. What would make him think? Right before we left,
• 20:14
  let me worry about the stairs because he and he.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Said, he said, I can tell that he knows like
• 20:19
  he kind of can do it, like he's trying to
• 20:21
  do it on his own, especially when it was only
• 20:24
  two steps.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: So he wanted to make sure that Dace wasn't having
• 20:29
  the opportunity to do it on his own.
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: Okay, continue, sweet dad.
• 20:34
  Speaker 7: Serious worrying is hard though, because I feel like you
• 20:40
  can tell yourself not to worry, and you can try
• 20:42
  to talk yourself away from it, but like, there's not.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: There's not always a way to like get yourself.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Out of that cycle when you're not even spiraling like
• 20:53
  it definitely when you're spiraling about something.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: But sometimes I feel like I'm worrying about something.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: I try to take my mind somewhere else, but it
• 20:58
  does end up being back in a circle of like
• 21:01
  because that is the thing that is consuming your thoughts,
• 21:03
  whether it's like a good opportunity you're worried about a
• 21:06
  bad opportunity, a financial thing, a doctor thing, a whatever
• 21:11
  it is. I feel like that it's hard. You can't
• 21:14
  shut that part of your brain off when there's something
• 21:16
  big that's happening in your life.
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: So I don't think you shut it off. What I do.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: I feel like what I try to do is like,
• 21:23
  if I can't attack that problem, then I problem. Then
• 21:26
  I try to solve do something else. And sometimes that's
• 21:29
  not great because then I'm just like almost creating work
• 21:32
  that may not need to be done or may not
• 21:33
  be as efficient. But I really try to find I
• 21:37
  want to try to find a way to do something
• 21:38
  that's like how I'm programmed. If I just sit there
• 21:40
  and worry about it, I don't. I don't tend to
• 21:43
  do that very often. It's either I think when you
• 21:45
  said you can't turn your brain off, yeah, I think
• 21:47
  I kind of cant, which is not I think compartmentalizing
• 21:50
  through my life has not been exactly a it's a
• 21:52
  good thing for an athlete, it's not a good thing overall.
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: We've talked about that before, like being able to do
• 21:55
  some of that.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: So when it's something like that that just seems like debilitating,
• 21:59
  I think I can do kind of shut my brain off.
• 22:02
  If I can do anything to move it forward, to
• 22:04
  advance it, to ask a question, answer, any activity on it,
• 22:08
  That's what I would do first, and then try to
• 22:10
  exhaust that or look at something else. Sure, there's other
• 22:12
  stuff to do and that will help me forget, like
• 22:14
  help me carpartmentalize that other piece, which isn't always productive,
• 22:18
  but I think that's how I do things.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're the action guy. You're like, let me figure
• 22:23
  out how to do it. I'm like, let me worry
• 22:24
  about twelve other options in which one is the best
• 22:27
  and how to say it or what to do or
• 22:29
  you know, like paralysis by analysis for me when it
• 22:32
  comes to worrying, there's something else there.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: You said about worry that that made me think of it,
• 22:37
  But yeah, I don't have an easy time shutting it off.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: So well. I think it wasn't just worry, but I
• 22:43
  think it was a little bit like it's like self
• 22:47
  pity is too strong, but like wallowing. It's kind of
• 22:50
  like the the that element of being like oh man,
• 22:53
  this and then like and being bummed out about like yeah,
• 22:56
  that's true, but there's no way to fix that or
• 22:58
  a way to move past it.
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: Unless you start to do some stuff. So I think
• 23:00
  that was my I think worrying and wallowing are two
• 23:04
  different things.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: I think worrying is something that that's existential, that's gonna
• 23:07
  or that is approaching, that could happen, that may not happen.
• 23:09
  That wallowing to me is more like that's more I
• 23:12
  was feeling because it's it did happen and that sucked,
• 23:15
  and I'm like, oh man, what do we gotta do here?
• 23:17
  That's hard? But then it's like, okay, wellt's get get
• 23:20
  your shit together. Let's go stand up and start doing stuff.
• 23:23
  That's that I think is where I become maybe more productive.
• 23:27
  Is most productive is when I feel like if I
• 23:29
  get pop with something, I always have that like the
• 23:33
  immediate response is maybe not what I always wanted or
• 23:35
  wanted to be.
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: And everybody's like that, but you know they'll soon.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: You've got to get over the wallowing fast and get
• 23:41
  to like my mind, get to action and get to
• 23:43
  trying to product.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think there's a lot of things that
• 23:45
  people worry about that like there is no action.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: There's just That's why there's two different things. Right, You're
• 23:50
  going back to worry. I totally agree, I'm talking about something.
• 23:53
  I guess that's why I was not articulating the thing
• 23:56
  I was feeling properly.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: I guess I think for me too, as especially as
• 24:00
  we've been going to church more and I've tried to
• 24:03
  be more I guess, less passive and more active than
• 24:06
  my faith too.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: It's like the worrying.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: I try to just like say a quick prayer about
• 24:11
  it because I'm like, Okay, this is not getting me anywhere,
• 24:14
  so this is all I can do right now, and
• 24:15
  then try to move on when there is no action.
• 24:18
  You know that I can't, there is no next step,
• 24:22
  but that's hard too. I think the thing you're kind
• 24:26
  of articulating as well that's interesting is like you're saying
• 24:28
  that you're kind of good at not worrying. There's nothing
• 24:32
  you can do, like move on, figure out what's next.
• 24:34
  I feel like that's part of like the partnership too.
• 24:37
  There's been a lot I feel like the last couple
• 24:39
  of days because we've only been home together for a
• 24:40
  couple of days that I just feel like it's so
• 24:45
  important to have somebody that is like your other half.
• 24:49
  That's like when I'm ten year ninety and when you're fifteen,
• 24:54
  I'm eighty five. I'm not going to do more math
• 24:56
  before I mess it up. Yeah, those are easy numbers.
• 25:00
  I'm seventy seven three, you're twenty seven. Good, good, great.
• 25:06
  But I felt that a lot lately. I don't know
• 25:07
  if you have as well, or if it's just been
• 25:09
  like I've been five, ten, fifteen every day, So I
• 25:12
  feel like you've been helping with a lot, but there's
• 25:15
  a lot that you've done that I feel like I've
• 25:17
  just looked over a bit grateful, whether it's cooking or
• 25:20
  cleaning or doing stuff with days, and like, yes, I
• 25:23
  feel like we have a marriage and a partnership where
• 25:26
  like all of those things are both of our things.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Except for cooking, that's pretty much just you. But you
• 25:31
  know what I mean, it's not.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Like these household standards that I have to do this
• 25:36
  and you have to do that. I feel like it's
• 25:39
  really easy to not appreciate what somebody else is doing
• 25:44
  when they're giving more because you don't have as much
• 25:46
  to give. Not that it goes hand in hand with worrying,
• 25:50
  but you know, sometimes even for me, like I'm worried
• 25:52
  about something, so I'm telling you and then you're talking
• 25:54
  me out of it. I don't know. It just made
• 25:56
  me feel even more this week, like how grateful I am,
• 26:00
  but also like how much that matters to have that
• 26:03
  that fifty fifty.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it always feels good when you tell me that.
• 26:07
  I didn't think I was doing anything above and beyond normal,
• 26:10
  and I didn't think you were at fifteen. I think
• 26:12
  you're well above that. But you look like I'm crazy.
• 26:15
  I don't think that's wrong. I'm like, if I'm thinking back,
• 26:17
  like what have I done? That's that I don't know.
• 26:21
  And I think maybe being here by myself for a
• 26:22
  couple of days provides more energy, But I don't know.
• 26:27
  But yeah, I think that's seven rounds of golf in
• 26:28
  a week.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: What do you know?
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: That's seven?
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: It was three an amazing week, and you were gone.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: If you're not here, why is that a problem if
• 26:37
  you're not here, I was just pointing out what makes
• 26:39
  you tick. It's it's literally guys will be left by
• 26:43
  themselves in their own house rarely. I mean, let me
• 26:46
  ask you before I answer that, when was the last
• 26:48
  time you were here for a night or two by
• 26:49
  yourself and nobody else here? I feel like this you
• 26:52
  you you said this recently, and I was like, I
• 26:54
  think it happened once. I don't think I've been here
• 26:56
  a lot by myself. No, I happened one on a
• 26:59
  time for me. So it's like, do you remember what
• 27:03
  you did?
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: I think it was just like a day or night.
• 27:05
  There's no way I could be here for longer than.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: I feel like it was two nights because you record
• 27:10
  out of your mind. I feel like there was like
• 27:11
  a like I was like, GotY, how are you find
• 27:13
  something to do? You don't have anything to do?
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: Do nothing?
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: Read a book? Like again, I feel like my dad
• 27:17
  read a book like it's I that had to be
• 27:20
  on the basketball season. I think I had to go
• 27:21
  get Dacy, your mom and dads. You were going somewhere
• 27:23
  else there was I remember that because as I was
• 27:26
  sitting there, the only thing guys. Some guys want to
• 27:28
  be left alone. Hey, let's go get dinner with my buddy.
• 27:30
  I want to go drinking. I just want to play golf.
• 27:32
  That's all I want to do. I want to play golf.
• 27:34
  I walked down the one day and I read a
• 27:36
  book for like thirty minutes on the beach. Unbelievable, just
• 27:40
  an unbelievable thirty minutes. I can't tell you how happy
• 27:43
  I was out there. So this is you know, the
• 27:45
  little things in life, but you need the ballot, yes,
• 27:47
  go back through. You said, yes, I think the balance
• 27:49
  is huge. But we are completely different people, and I
• 27:52
  do think you articulating this before and me going through
• 27:56
  therapy and me my Instagram feed for one period of
• 28:00
  time life was a lot of divorce content or self
• 28:03
  evaluation content, different other stuff that I am somewhat cognizant of.
• 28:08
  Where I tried to be cognitant of where you're at
• 28:11
  and if I'm not getting an ask and try to
• 28:13
  do some things and I clearly fall short all the time.
• 28:16
  The US game last Monday was probably one of those examples.
• 28:19
  We don't need to get into it if you don't
• 28:20
  like to, but being able selfish that day. But I
• 28:25
  wasn't always that way, and that's you know, you live
• 28:29
  and you learn through failures and lessons, and I can
• 28:31
  look back and be like, yeah, there's probably a lot
• 28:33
  of shit I could have done differently in previous relationships
• 28:37
  that I didn't even think about or I didn't get
• 28:39
  And I'm fortunate that I have a partner you that
• 28:42
  has helped me get them. I've want to get it,
• 28:43
  but you also still show a lot of patience with
• 28:45
  me too, and have from the beginning of a relationship,
• 28:47
  like telling me what you need and what's going to
• 28:49
  happen or not with it?
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: What what you want?
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: Now?
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: I would say, like, what's gonna like? Yeah, how you
• 28:55
  what to happen?
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: How you will feel if it's like what it feels
• 28:58
  like when you don't get these things, and that that
• 29:00
  means more than me than you're just getting mad.
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: I guess.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, you said the thing about you know, different
• 29:06
  relationships and being different in them, and like you've fortunately
• 29:10
  but unfortunately you've learned. I feel like that's like what
• 29:13
  relationships are like. I remember having a conversation a long
• 29:17
  time ago that I feel like every time you fall
• 29:21
  in love or think you're in love, you find out
• 29:24
  more of what love actually is like. I remember being
• 29:29
  young and first love and thinking that I knew knew
• 29:32
  it all and it was so big and it was
• 29:34
  so grand, and then you know, you get cheated on
• 29:39
  and you're like, oh God, that was in love and
• 29:42
  that's a different kind of heartbreak. But then the next
• 29:43
  time I thought I was in love, and then I
• 29:45
  feel like every relationship that I was in or I
• 29:47
  was in love or I thought I was in love,
• 29:49
  you find out more of like what love really is.
• 29:52
  And that is to me, part of what's beautiful about
• 29:55
  like waiting to find you, you know later in my
• 30:00
  life and then you going through everything that you went
• 30:03
  through to find me.
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: Is I feel like you know so much more.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: I always joke with my friends now I'm like, find
• 30:10
  find if they're single, still, Like find somebody who's already
• 30:12
  like been through divorce. They already know all what to
• 30:15
  fight for, what to fight about, what's worth it, what's not.
• 30:19
  You know, you've got to get them at the right
• 30:20
  stage of life. But I do feel like you learn
• 30:23
  so many lessons along the way, But you also learn
• 30:26
  more of like what it is to be in love
• 30:29
  and what it is to be in a relationship and
• 30:31
  be a good partner. And unfortunately, like a lot of
• 30:34
  that comes with hard lessons along the way, probably for
• 30:36
  like both sides of the relationships that you're in. But
• 30:38
  I feel like that's part of relationships and life and learning.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think for me, like love isn't
• 30:45
  how I feel or how just how you feel. It
• 30:48
  is like the partnership. It's what we are doing for
• 30:52
  each other, how we make sure to feel, how we
• 30:54
  show up for each other, how we support one another,
• 30:56
  how you walk through life together like that, to me
• 30:58
  is the whole thing. And I don't think I got
• 31:02
  that till us. I don't think it was a thing
• 31:05
  I could do myself or comprehend or had felt the
• 31:08
  other way. You know, it didn't feel like that. And
• 31:11
  let's be real, in my twenties, I think they were
• 31:15
  supposed to be one relationship. I said I was in love.
• 31:17
  That definitely wasn't love, and then I was eighteen that
• 31:20
  definitely wasn't love. So there's like and I knew that one.
• 31:23
  As soon as we're going to college, I was like, deuces,
• 31:24
  my guy, I went out of here. So clearly that
• 31:27
  wasn't it. But this is again some of the things
• 31:32
  you learn and I just don't think you said before
• 31:34
  get them at the right life stage. Yeah.
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: I think that's with a lot of people and men
• 31:38
  in particular, because even if.
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: You even if you are with your guy and then
• 31:44
  you're going through problems, you want it to be different.
• 31:47
  Like to bridge that gap takes a lot of vulnerability
• 31:51
  and openness by one partner and the other to receive it,
• 31:54
  usually saying like this is not working and that partner
• 31:57
  now not turning it around to you or turning to
• 31:59
  the other person and look inward and say like, okay,
• 32:02
  what's my deal? And it's hard to look inward and
• 32:04
  be reflective when you feel like you're in a corrosive place,
• 32:07
  like you kind of lash out the other way. It's
• 32:10
  like it's a weird thing until you're kind of Until
• 32:12
  I was by myself and had gone through things and
• 32:15
  gone through therapy, I couldn't see all the things that
• 32:17
  were wrong, even if some of them were put it
• 32:18
  out to me or I wasn't willing to.
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: So there's.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: That sh It's real, and it's like, I want to say,
• 32:24
  unfortunate that we will learn, But if you're in the
• 32:26
  relationship to learn in it maybe even harder than to
• 32:29
  learn on your own.
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: I don't know speak of my own experience.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: You've only said I love you to like four people.
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: Uh yeah, I think I said I love you to
• 32:40
  four people by the time I was like seventeen.
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: That seems not surprising at all. She just dull it
• 32:48
  out the love, just dull it out.
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: The lave. Are you shocked or no, not at all.
• 32:53
  I'm full of love, full of love and if you
• 32:55
  don't tell you. From my experience, if it don't tell
• 32:57
  you you love you when you want them to, they
• 32:59
  might yell at you.
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: That was my experience.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: Oh oh, I thought you meant for me.
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: I was like, when do I do that? Initially?
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: You do love me?
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: Oh well, because you basically told me and then walked
• 33:11
  it back and were like scared of it and then waited, however,
• 33:14
  many more months to say it again.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: And I was like, this is bullshit. You told me
• 33:18
  this a long time ago, and I know you mean it.
• 33:21
  Figure it out, yeah, or I'm done yelled at me.
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: I don't think there was no ultimatum, but it was
• 33:25
  really like, this is bullshit. You love me?
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: Oh okay you told me. I don't think I really
• 33:33
  say it wasn't said as sinctly as you're saying it,
• 33:35
  but okay, yeah you did. You told me?
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: All right, Well I got yelled at for the gap
• 33:39
  in between the telling you and then not telling you.
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: That's good to know. So yeah, it's harder for me
• 33:44
  to do it. Apparently it's I know, And that was
• 33:46
  why I was saying I love you, Willy nillid everybody.
• 33:49
  So I didn't know that was Now that I know
• 33:51
  what I know, I'm a fifty fifth person. You told
• 33:52
  me I love you too.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: That that's yeah, it's easier for you to say it.
• 33:55
  Fifty five seems high, probably by the numbers were like twenty.
• 34:00
  I want to know, that's a good question.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Twenty seventy.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: And this is where it's crazy. I throw out to
• 34:06
  my love. I mean, I had like boys in middle school.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: They were writing me knows that were my boyfriends, ull
• 34:11
  me that they love me, like my early high school boyfriends,
• 34:13
  like before the one guy that I was like, this
• 34:16
  is my you know what you thought was like your
• 34:18
  first true love. There are I probably already had like
• 34:21
  two or three other boyfriends and told me that.
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: They love This is a way more PG version than
• 34:25
  of how many people you slept with? Like that question,
• 34:27
  I don't really care about that answer. What I do
• 34:29
  care about twenty I love you twenty five different.
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: I love you. There's twenty five you guys, you I
• 34:36
  love you around this planet.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: I can't say that.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: You're putting words in my mouth, Holy shit, putting words
• 34:42
  in my mouth. I'm just saying if someone knows more
• 34:45
  about what love means through each time you say I
• 34:48
  love you, it's me.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: Clearly you learned a lot. By they couldn't even vote,
• 34:52
  you learned a lot about love.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: I think I just love love. I always wanted to
• 34:57
  like be in love. I think that I don't know,
• 35:00
  it's just something like super special about it.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with that.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't even know if your version of
• 35:07
  love is real love, because you've said it so many times,
• 35:09
  so I have no idea.
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: No it is.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: That's how you know, because I I've experienced it so
• 35:14
  many times.
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: You're a season veteran.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm seasoned in finding out that wasn't real love.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: You know, got it.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: I'm like, been on like twenty seasons of The Bachelor,
• 35:24
  sweet every single timerette though, Ye, but I'm the Yeah, okay,
• 35:29
  either way, I've been on both seasons. I was the Bachelor,
• 35:34
  and I was on the Bachelor as one of the
• 35:35
  girls every single season, making it to the end.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: And then I wasn't it you know, tough thank god?
• 35:41
  Or he wasn't it.
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's got it.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: But I'm I'm me. I'm great, You're but I am
• 35:48
  I'm great.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: I love you. I love you too, And you're the
• 35:53
  last guy that I'll ever tell I love you last
• 35:56
  like man, you know, in a romantic way, hope.
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: So never know you're giving all will and nilly. I
• 36:02
  don't know. You might tell our neighbor. You might just
• 36:03
  much just slip out.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: Well, I say it. I say I love you to everybody,
• 36:06
  but not like that, you guys. This is can we
• 36:09
  We had unpack this a little bit, which I find interesting.
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: Your family is a very much a lot of I
• 36:14
  love you like I don't think I've said I love
• 36:17
  you to any one of my family members outside my mom.
• 36:20
  You know, I say it to make Derek say it
• 36:22
  sometimes it's not true and make him get uncomfortable. And
• 36:24
  I've enjoyed that. It's not that I love you a
• 36:26
  lot of I love yous, but you guys are just
• 36:28
  it's just the effusive. It's it's everywhere. It's very different experience.
• 36:32
  So it's like even when that was like for like
• 36:35
  an adjustment for me to be like.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love my mom on the phone today, I
• 36:39
  was like, I love you done well.
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: I'd say it all the time. Now is it's like
• 36:42
  by the beginning I was like, there's a lot of
• 36:43
  I love yous being tost around him. I just say
• 36:45
  I love you right now, Like I didn't. I told
• 36:46
  my brother I love him twenty time first what we
• 36:48
  were talking about here.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: I think I didn't realize that much with my family
• 36:51
  because it was just how we always grew up. I
• 36:53
  think I realized it when I was older, with like
• 36:55
  my cousins and my uncles and stuff, like my uncle
• 36:58
  does car insurance and I was talking to him about
• 37:01
  the issue that we're having with the car and even
• 37:04
  get off with him.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: I was like, okay, bye, I love you.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: And I thought about it afterwards because I like, I
• 37:08
  don't think about it at all. My cousin get it
• 37:11
  as we were saying goodbye my dad's fishing club meeting,
• 37:13
  you know, kiss on the cheek and love you love
• 37:16
  your cousin, and like it's just like you don't think
• 37:19
  about NA saying.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: Everybody does it different. I feel like it's like.
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: It's probably like a testament to my grandparents on both
• 37:26
  sides of the family, you know, because my cousin's on
• 37:29
  that side always said I love you as well on
• 37:31
  my dad's side, and you know, I just had two
• 37:35
  male cousins on that side. Yeah, like for me, there's
• 37:41
  obviously different kinds of love, but the family love is
• 37:45
  just something that's just like, I don't know, it's just easy,
• 37:49
  just like and why wouldn't you if you're lucky enough
• 37:52
  to have people in your life that you were that
• 37:53
  close with, why would you not tell them that you
• 37:56
  love them?
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: Because it's sounds awful because you won't tell me love
• 38:02
  them because your experience is way different, Like when I
• 38:05
  grew up. My growing up, like to build that foundation,
• 38:08
  all we did was fight with each other like that
• 38:10
  was and you had some fun times, but it was
• 38:12
  constantly fighting. Cousins is the same way, constantly like wrestling around,
• 38:16
  fighting with them, like it's just how we were wired.
• 38:18
  And then the I love you part was not not.
• 38:21
  The other part of it was just you know, I
• 38:22
  don't know. It was just different, and I do I
• 38:25
  enjoyed that part of your family. I think it's different.
• 38:27
  It was just it's noticeable, especially when you are coming
• 38:30
  into that family. And I think it's funny too because
• 38:33
  I think Lira has some of me and her and
• 38:34
  she's just has some of she doesn't have access to
• 38:37
  a ton of family being around all the time, so
• 38:39
  and there were different things how she was really little
• 38:41
  and how little she got see family, some of its COVID,
• 38:43
  some of it's other stuff. But it when she was
• 38:47
  there too, I feel like it's like I'm hyper aware
• 38:48
  of all the I love yous and the I love
• 38:51
  you returns that now come for me.
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: But at first we're like, what are we doing? This
• 38:55
  is interesting, So it's just a different experience.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: So much of my family commented on how much fun
• 39:01
  they had with Lea and how great it was to
• 39:03
  see like her just so open and out of her
• 39:07
  shell and having fun and because she hasn't been there
• 39:10
  in a long time and she was just I don't know,
• 39:12
  it was just that was really special for my family too,
• 39:15
  as like a big I.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: Love you family, like hey, let me like smother you
• 39:18
  with love. And I don't think that they did that
• 39:20
  with her.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: You know, this wasn't like We're going to be in
• 39:23
  your face and tide I love you, but for her
• 39:26
  to like feel more comfortable and just for them to
• 39:29
  really get to see the fun, care free little girl.
• 39:32
  And then when we were leaving, when I meant to
• 39:34
  elbow you or something, when she told brevibe.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: He said, I love you. She said I love you too,
• 39:38
  and I bad and I'm.
• 39:39
  Speaker 6: Like, keep it, stay cool, stay cool, don't freak out.
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: It's been Yeah. That was that. I think has been
• 39:48
  really cool over that.
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: And she was actually really comfortable with her family right away,
• 39:52
  which is kind of and that was when she was
• 39:53
  really shy back then. But the first time they were
• 39:56
  all there, when she put on some play or something
• 39:58
  for everybody, which was like, yeah, yeah in our house,
• 40:00
  I was like, this is crazy. But to watch our
• 40:03
  relations be built has been really cool. And I think
• 40:05
  one of the most like heartwarming parts of it was
• 40:08
  when we were there last week. It's like she was
• 40:10
  inside at one point hanging out with like a couple
• 40:13
  of your older aunts and uncles, just sitting on the couch.
• 40:16
  I don't know what the heck they were talking about,
• 40:17
  but they were just all hanging it out and she
• 40:20
  was then she would have waving at the ends side
• 40:21
  like I having just smile and a waving, and it
• 40:23
  was like, okay, you're just you don't need me. I
• 40:25
  don't think you do, but I have no clue what
• 40:27
  you do when you look a having a great time.
• 40:29
  So it's just it's like any kid in a family.
• 40:32
  That's how it's supposed to be. And she just seems
• 40:34
  really at peace and at home there and just really enjoys,
• 40:37
  like loves being there. So it's a lot of fun.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: And I think when you and her had to leave
• 40:40
  in days and I were saying, that was really hard
• 40:42
  and like eye opening too, because you could see that
• 40:47
  like she was sad. You know, she was sad to
• 40:49
  leave it say goodbye to everybody, and part of it,
• 40:51
  I think she feels everybody else's sadness, like she knows.
• 40:53
  My dad's always really emotional. I'm obviously super emotional. But
• 40:58
  I thought that was really sweet and it was or
• 41:00
  one of the funniest things that I thought that she did.
• 41:03
  So Dace is obsessed with the lawnmower and Dad always
• 41:06
  takes someone ladnmower rides, and this time he did that,
• 41:10
  Lira was there. Then I went out there and Lira's
• 41:12
  riding the lawnmower with Dad and so then Dace, of
• 41:16
  course I'm holding him, and he's freaking out because Lira's
• 41:18
  on the lawnmower.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: My turn.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: Dace's turned, Drace's turn. I no, it's Sissy's turn. So
• 41:21
  she comes back, he gets back on, and I think
• 41:24
  that ended up being the last time they went. He
• 41:26
  might have taken her one more time. Anyways, Dace got
• 41:28
  the last ride. And as we're like walking inside, we're
• 41:33
  about to walk inside, Dad's finishing up with Dace. She's like,
• 41:37
  how many times is that for Dace? Like is that
• 41:40
  how many times did days go? And I was like, oh,
• 41:42
  I don't know. So then again as we go inside,
• 41:44
  she's like, well, do you think we're gonna do that again?
• 41:46
  Because I think Dace got to go three times and
• 41:49
  I only went to go two times, and so we
• 41:51
  didn't have the same amount of times, So do you
• 41:53
  think we're gonna do that? So, like seeing her jealous
• 41:56
  of like riding the lawnmower with Dad, was like really
• 41:59
  really cute too. He's special, he's good with he's really
• 42:01
  I mean, my mom is too. But I feel like
• 42:03
  there's a difference when you see the grandfathers with like
• 42:08
  little girls and you know, never know how they're gonna interact.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's a great grandfather, crumpy, and he's coming from
• 42:15
  having three daughters. I feel like he's just at home
• 42:17
  kicking it with her, with both of them. I mean,
• 42:19
  Days obsessed with them. But he's just always been really cool.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: That'sdays's buddy. Yeah, okay, so that was in the past.
• 42:27
  We've had some great trips. We have some stuff coming up, though.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: Are you feeling.
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: It's a busy week, like you're gonna be gone? So
• 42:35
  I'm but I'm working a couple of nights. So this
• 42:38
  is this is Dad of the Year material here. I
• 42:42
  love when I say that, your eyes get big, like,
• 42:43
  oh God, what's he gonna say?
• 42:44
  Speaker 4: It's not that bad.
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: But if you're gone and I know I'm working the
• 42:48
  burden phots boy less because I I it's somebody else
• 42:51
  is gonna watch him for a period of time, I
• 42:52
  feel like, if you're gone and I'm not working for
• 42:54
  all three of these days, I'm.
• 42:56
  Speaker 8: Not pumped about the next three days. A little bit
• 42:59
  of dread, a little bit of red, but no, I
• 43:01
  feel great. I would will miss you. That'll be bummer,
• 43:04
  But you know I got reinforcements. I mean, Days is
• 43:07
  pretty bumped too.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: Before we even got back, he was already asked me
• 43:10
  about all his babysitters over here.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: Babysitters on Likedy. We got them on deck for you
• 43:14
  this week. We got all of them. Yeah, we got
• 43:16
  all three. We got three different ones coming in here.
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: Coming in hot. It'd be great.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: Work is coming up soon though.
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you've been all like you've had a couple of
• 43:25
  weeks where you didn't have to work. I guess it
• 43:27
  was we had June that you've had like three weeks.
• 43:28
  Like do you how do you feel going like to work?
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: I'm not ready for the summer to be over. Why
• 43:37
  does it feel like it's like already over? What is
• 43:38
  going on right now?
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: I mean it's definitely not. I'm just saying I'm not
• 43:42
  ready for the summer to be over. But it feels
• 43:44
  like to me, like it's over in like a week.
• 43:45
  It feels like it's already flown by.
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: I just done.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: Was I had a friend texting me about doing something
• 43:48
  this week and getting together and I was like, oh,
• 43:50
  I'm out of town for three days, and then I
• 43:52
  was like for work, and then I was like, then
• 43:54
  I am off to the beginning bogus, So I really
• 43:56
  should say that. So this week I'm excited about it's
• 44:00
  fun stuff. I always love acc kickoff and getting to
• 44:03
  kind of reunite with everybody, and then before that I
• 44:05
  get to go to New York and do NWSL game
• 44:09
  at City Field, which is going to be really cool.
• 44:11
  It's the first professional sports event that's ever been there.
• 44:14
  It's like over forty thousand people with a pessional sports
• 44:17
  fan and what city field? Yes, women's professional game? Yeah,
• 44:22
  oh okay, sort women's was like the Mets player, I
• 44:28
  was like, why are you.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: It's like running through what I said, that doesn't count
• 44:34
  as real professionals exactly.
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: Well right now they're terrible, because.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: So really looking forward to that game and then acc
• 44:42
  kickoff and so that'll be like a nice reason to
• 44:48
  like break up the cool family time that we've had.
• 44:51
  Always joke with people, I'm like, I'm kind of like
• 44:53
  in a lot of ways like a teacher. Exuff, I'm
• 44:54
  not teaching anybody, but you know, football season's really busy.
• 44:58
  Basketball season is really busy, and then summer is very
• 45:01
  not busy. So that is the like one of the
• 45:04
  plus sides of being so busy for all of those
• 45:07
  weeks and months is like, you know that the the
• 45:09
  other side of that is going to have summer off.
• 45:11
  So I feel good about this week and then I
• 45:16
  just yeah, I do feel like the end of summer's
• 45:18
  coming up. Too fast, but like we do still have we.
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: Got a lot of time. I just feel like it
• 45:23
  doesn't feel that way. I feel like it was yesterday
• 45:25
  where it was a month ago. And I don't know
• 45:28
  if we just want to be where your feet are.
• 45:29
  Let me focus on that. It's enjoy the week, not
• 45:31
  dreading your leaving. We'll bummed you're not here. Days will
• 45:35
  be great, and then around three o'clock he'll be excellent
• 45:37
  with other people.
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: Let me say this, I do feel like part of
• 45:40
  the reality of our life is the cope ear ending situation,
• 45:44
  and like that is part of where it feels like
• 45:47
  things go so fast, because where like you and I
• 45:51
  always have time together, are you and I in days
• 45:53
  when we project out things with Lira? And I'm sure
• 45:56
  Mom feels it too, Like when you project out things
• 45:59
  and the time is always split, it always makes it
• 46:01
  feel like, oh my gosh, how are we going to
• 46:04
  get it in or how do we maximize this?
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: And then I know for us, there's a lot.
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: Of conversations sometimes about like wanting to plan and then
• 46:12
  also like not wanting to plan, like we haven't just
• 46:15
  been here and done nothing as a family together, So
• 46:17
  let's do this versus we need to maximize this time
• 46:20
  because that week we don't have that much because then
• 46:22
  she goes with her mom on that vacation. So I
• 46:24
  do think too when we look big picture at it,
• 46:27
  like a big reality of our situation that I'm sure
• 46:29
  other people out there have to deal with, is you know,
• 46:31
  the split time of co parenting and the push and
• 46:34
  pull of like wanting to really make your time count
• 46:38
  versus also like wanting to just have your normal life
• 46:42
  with your family.
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: Well said, And I've actually thought the next like two weeks,
• 46:46
  like I hope when we because she's gone right now
• 46:48
  for this week, which is that normal because she's on
• 46:50
  her trip with her mom. We obviously just did our
• 46:52
  time before her mom has mother time coming in August,
• 46:54
  and we have the end of August. But you're right,
• 46:55
  maybe that's part of my promise I'm looking at in
• 46:57
  chunks of like when she comes back, it's going to
• 46:59
  be date, and that date is okay, what are we
• 47:02
  doing then versus you know, to your point, we do
• 47:06
  need to have days where we just hang together. Like
• 47:09
  that's that's something that almost be like reminded of, like
• 47:11
  you don't need to schedule anything. We don't need to
• 47:13
  do something. I mean, we have some of my most
• 47:16
  fun times as we go to the beach, just as
• 47:17
  plus four now. We got to a couple times in June,
• 47:19
  but it's been a while since, you know, so I
• 47:23
  think that is probably a big part of it, Like subliminally,
• 47:25
  in my head it feels like it's going to go
• 47:26
  fast and also feels like it's not just the summer,
• 47:29
  which you can go into September in terms of like
• 47:30
  the weather and stuff. It really is the first day
• 47:32
  of school, is what it's like in my head, is
• 47:34
  like kind of that imminent date, which I think is
• 47:36
  September first.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: I think honestly too. As days gets more vocal, it's
• 47:42
  made me realize it more of like wanting to be
• 47:45
  intentional in my time with him, because I feel like
• 47:48
  he like he notices it and he articulates it more.
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: And some of it is that like Mommy, get up,
• 47:54
  come here. I don't want you to sit there. I
• 47:55
  want to play with me. I want you to do this,
• 47:56
  I want you to.
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: Do that, or where Mommy go over and over and
• 47:59
  sess the like where mommy goes she's just around the corner.
• 48:01
  Bro She's sitting on the couch today, you were laying
• 48:06
  down on the couch. What he was eating was where
• 48:08
  mammy go forty five times? Bro, just neat your food.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's my guy.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: But my point is like tonight, so the last couple
• 48:17
  of nights, I've been like, we've been kicking the ball
• 48:19
  around because he's obsessed with that right now before he
• 48:20
  goes to bed and getting his energy out and he's
• 48:22
  playing anything.
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: So it's hilarious.
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: But when you were upstairs working and he and I
• 48:27
  were downstairs and I was cooking too, shout out to
• 48:30
  me for cooking part of the meal tonight job part
• 48:32
  of it, not the whole thing job. But I kept
• 48:36
  having to go back in the kitchen and he was
• 48:37
  getting really upset, and I was having to set a
• 48:38
  timer on the phone, and the neighbor was texting me,
• 48:41
  and I was making sure she didn't need anything because
• 48:43
  when the kids were sick anyways, and he was getting frustrated,
• 48:46
  and I was like, day's Mommy has to finish this.
• 48:47
  And then he's like, okay, Mommy, almost done. And so
• 48:50
  then when I had to look at the phone again later,
• 48:53
  I was like, hold on. He get frustrated and he
• 48:55
  was like, Mommy, be right back, Mommy almost done, And
• 48:57
  so then I was like, he's noticing, like when my
• 48:59
  attention is even if I just pick up my phone
• 49:01
  for a second, He's like, Mommy, no soccer.
• 49:03
  Speaker 7: I was.
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: And then sometimes if one of us isn't there. This
• 49:07
  has been interesting too because we really haven't, like the summer,
• 49:10
  we haven't been at work that much, but he has
• 49:11
  like if Daddy's not here, he's like, Mommy, go to work,
• 49:14
  Daddy at work.
• 49:15
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, it's like good and bad, Like I
• 49:18
  don't of course I want him to know that we work,
• 49:21
  but bad. He needs to understand why we're not there.
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: I know, but I don't want it to making the
• 49:24
  connection now that we're gone for a reason versus just
• 49:27
  like we're disappearing. Like the amount of times he says
• 49:30
  where did somebody go? Makes you think he has he's
• 49:32
  been stranded at some point.
• 49:34
  Speaker 4: Dude.
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: Never, he's never, He's all. He's got all the but
• 49:36
  love around him by so many people. But he wants
• 49:39
  to know where his crew is at all times. And
• 49:41
  I think him understanding that there are reasons were gone
• 49:44
  he's actually a good thing.
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: I think it's a good thing too.
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: I think it just hit me harder when he was
• 49:48
  starting to like articulate more about work or mommy, because
• 49:52
  I always tell him, like he says, Mommy right back,
• 49:54
  I mean always right back. That's why I saw Mommy's
• 49:56
  always coming back. I'll always be right back. But I
• 49:59
  think tonight when he was so adamant about like not
• 50:03
  texting back and wanting my full attention, I don't know,
• 50:06
  just the last couple of days, and maybe it's because
• 50:08
  I only have a couple of days here before I
• 50:09
  leave again, I don't know. As his little brain develops
• 50:14
  more and more, it just makes me realize, like how
• 50:16
  much they they take in and they notice, and like
• 50:19
  what do I want him to like really notice and
• 50:22
  be thinking about? Like I don't want like if I'm
• 50:24
  going to give him fifteen minutes before it goes to
• 50:27
  bed and like undivided play, then I don't want him
• 50:29
  to be like mad because I had to check something
• 50:32
  on my phone.
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, trade to Bersua Bubble. He probably still will be
• 50:36
  like he is craving whether it's his age or development
• 50:40
  or what, it's just his attachment to He's craving your attention.
• 50:42
  At like all times we've said this before in the
• 50:44
  pod last that right, it's your guy. But you can
• 50:46
  sit downstairs in the morning and you can't do anything.
• 50:48
  He will sit there and play by himself and I
• 50:49
  can get stuff done for an hour. That's just just
• 50:52
  what it is. And he may want me to get up,
• 50:53
  or I may just tell him now and he'll let
• 50:55
  it go. Like no's not an option for you. It's
• 50:57
  a very different experience. So, I mean, it's what you're saying,
• 51:02
  I get. But he's he's not going to be just
• 51:04
  cool with it at any point in the near future,
• 51:07
  doesn't seem. But again, he continues to develop, but he
• 51:10
  may let it go and become less obsessive with you
• 51:13
  having to do as he says right then, and then
• 51:15
  it's gonna hurt my feelings. He's about to say it
• 51:16
  on the other side, and you're like, oh, well, no,
• 51:18
  he won't be. But yeah, when he woke up for.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: Him his nappy one me to hold him for like
• 51:23
  ten minutes today, I didn't want me to lay him
• 51:24
  down and change diaper. He's like on me like a
• 51:26
  little monkey, and I was like, oh my gosh, just
• 51:28
  thinking of the have you seen anything about a Disney
• 51:30
  World like that if when a child hugs a character
• 51:33
  they have to like wait for the child to let
• 51:36
  go first, that the character is never allowed to let
• 51:38
  go first.
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: No, that's what I mean, that's possible. I don't know
• 51:43
  what if the kid doesn't let go. We've seen Kim,
• 51:45
  you can do some weird stuff, you know, hold on.
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, keep me the one. They a magical place the
• 51:49
  let go. So now, whenever he huggs me, I'm like,
• 51:51
  never the one to let go first. It has to
• 51:53
  be he has to be done. Okay, one last song
• 51:59
  before you go, unless you anything else after this? Are
• 52:02
  we or are we not gonna cut Days's hair by
• 52:05
  the next episode.
• 52:08
  Speaker 4: You're going out of town, so.
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: Three days.
• 52:13
  Speaker 4: Okay, I think we probably will.
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: Then I did want you to cut it for a
• 52:18
  long time, like they live emotional connection to his curls.
• 52:22
  Speaker 4: I'm a little worried they may not come back.
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: But so only went a way to find out because
• 52:27
  there was a thin line between a mullet and a haircut,
• 52:30
  as my college teammate used to say, and he is
• 52:32
  flirting with it.
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: I think we've passed that. You think he smulled it up.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: No, I think we're now starting to get to like
• 52:38
  he from the back. He does look like a very
• 52:40
  cute little girl, little baby, little girl. Mama has always
• 52:45
  told him ever since he was a baby, he was
• 52:48
  too pretty to be a little boy.
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: There you go. Yeah, we're gonna cut it. I'm interested
• 52:55
  in how you want it styled. I'm hopeful they grow back,
• 52:59
  but we don't know what the news is. I'm going
• 53:02
  to keep some of the curls. Anyways, no matter, that's
• 53:05
  not really helpful to me. It doesn't really, it doesn't
• 53:07
  really remember.
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: I hope they come.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: I think they will. You're very curly. I mean, he's
• 53:13
  not as curly as you were when you were little.
• 53:15
  Speaker 4: There's a genetic difference.
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm just quarterly, I know.
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: I'm just pointing out that situation.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: Pointing out is the hair.
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: Well, this is part of like my real emotional connection
• 53:26
  to this. This is like one of the few things
• 53:27
  identifying and characteristic, especially as a kid, that I.
• 53:32
  Speaker 4: Felt or knew I was black. And people may have thought,
• 53:34
  let most white people know, but black people is black.
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: And like to my dad, he was very like, there
• 53:39
  was no way I was cutting my hair short, Like
• 53:41
  you wanted to make sure that you could see this
• 53:43
  guy had freaking hair and I had a high top
• 53:45
  faid that he cut while I was fourteen at got.
• 53:46
  He was a bad barber, just a horrible barber, and
• 53:49
  like my buddy's it's like, dude, your dad's got to
• 53:51
  cut your hair. Got stuff. Soon this guy's got driver's license.
• 53:54
  We started going to barbershop. Eight dollars of haircut my guy,
• 53:56
  Johnny down a tarp and springs. Shout out, Johnny, I
• 53:59
  believe passed. But then I digress. Yeah, like matters to me.
• 54:04
  I don't know what else, like as as pale as,
• 54:06
  I like, there's there's no other identifying characteristic that he
• 54:08
  might even be part black, other than his hair maybe.
• 54:11
  And that's where it's like, it matters to me because
• 54:15
  it's part of me and it's part of him, and
• 54:18
  it doesn't matter. I hope it doesn't matter in the
• 54:20
  ways in which the world tells him he's black or
• 54:22
  he feels that, or he learns that, because everybody goes
• 54:25
  through that in a different way, and the lighter you are,
• 54:28
  the more it's the world has to tell you that
• 54:30
  you can understand it and grasp it, doesn't mean it's
• 54:33
  I have plenty of privileges and advantages that other people
• 54:35
  don't have. It's just it's it's hard for a kid
• 54:37
  to understand what's going on at any age, to be like,
• 54:40
  why don't they like me? But to like have my
• 54:43
  mom explained to me like well you're and my dad
• 54:45
  they're like, well you have black blood inside. I'm like, oh,
• 54:47
  my blood's red. What are you talking about? Like, you're
• 54:49
  not going to get it. But the world will tell
• 54:53
  Liro that at some point in time.
• 54:55
  Speaker 4: I don't. Maybe you will tell Dasa at some point
• 54:58
  in time.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: The question is does it come with the end and
• 55:00
  mass and the anger and the fights that came up
• 55:01
  when I was a kid in the eighties, or is
• 55:03
  it something that like right now, Like Leir obviously knows
• 55:06
  she's mixed and we talk about that stuff and it's
• 55:08
  very aware of that, but she's had no overt negative experiences.
• 55:12
  By the time I was her age, I already had
• 55:14
  a bunch. That's why I was asking the questions. But
• 55:16
  we live in a different society now, one that I
• 55:19
  think like telling Lera who what she was or who
• 55:22
  she is before the world does was important to me
• 55:26
  When we were a kid. My parents didn't explain that
• 55:27
  to me, and maybe that was their plan. Maybe they
• 55:30
  just didn't think about it. Maybe my dad just like,
• 55:32
  this is the way the world goes bro like this.
• 55:34
  That's kind of how once I started learning about it,
• 55:36
  just said this is this is how this thing works,
• 55:37
  and there are other things you will learn along the way,
• 55:39
  but this is the world.
• 55:41
  Speaker 4: My mom's really pissed.
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: My dad was just like, well, this is here's what
• 55:45
  you need to learn from this, here's how you overcome
• 55:46
  this and to being this back to days. I hope
• 55:50
  he doesn't have those same experiences. But he's all his
• 55:54
  hair straight. He will look like any other white kid,
• 55:57
  and that is.
• 55:58
  Speaker 4: What it is.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: He's a lot of growing up to do. So we'll
• 56:02
  see how he continues to changes or change. Like he
• 56:04
  didn't even have gurl here at the evening, had no hair,
• 56:07
  and then he got little curls on the top and
• 56:08
  then he got these big curls. So hopefully and maybe
• 56:12
  when we cut them off, because it does look like
• 56:14
  it's straight on the top now, maybe when we cut
• 56:16
  them they won't be so way down that.
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: Well, we'll see, but he did do it. Little man
• 56:20
  does need a haircut. He's brushing things, the fun thing
• 56:23
  he can do. I used to this all the time.
• 56:25
  The guys I played with were white. I was like,
• 56:26
  because my hair were like what, I this is such
• 56:28
  a weird tangent. But my hair's not nearly as nappy
• 56:30
  as it used to be, Like I laid it down.
• 56:32
  I got waves in my end of my early twenties,
• 56:34
  and I changed my hairs like texture and makeup a
• 56:36
  little bit. But I used to always be like jealous
• 56:38
  if they could put their hand in their hairs and
• 56:40
  you're like, like my buddy Brent with this huge coaff
• 56:43
  I was like those like what does that feel like?
• 56:45
  That's like what? And Dick's water all the time, I
• 56:48
  was brushing his hair hair out of his face. I'm like, ah, interesting.
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: I decided that we definitely meet. I mean, I've been
• 56:54
  feeling like we needed to cut it, but I decided
• 56:56
  we definitely had to win it. Two days in a
• 56:58
  row for him eating dinner or lunch, I had to
• 57:02
  put it up in a little splew top because it
• 57:04
  was all in his face. So he's just sitting there
• 57:06
  with this thing.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: And then he took it mummy, I don't want this
• 57:08
  mummy out. And then I was like, nobody, you can't.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: You're literally then like I already give you a bath
• 57:13
  and you have pesto sauce in your hair, because then
• 57:15
  he's like his hair out of his face.
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: Just a little girl, a little day.
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: No, we don't have a little boy. And he will
• 57:23
  always know who he is, regardless of of what his
• 57:26
  hair looks like.
• 57:27
  Speaker 4: But also because he likes to play this penis a lot.
• 57:31
  He's very aware of that.
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: What I was like, you'll always know who he is,
• 57:37
  and me like meaningful, Then you how to drop.
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: A penispropriate penis on it?
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: Okay, I didn't it don't it's there, and then on them.
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: Don't drop it on anybody, Okay, let bat