Latest / Stuff You Should Know / Stuff You Should Know July 4th Extravaganza, Part 1: Mom

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Stuff You Should Know July 4th Extravaganza, Part 1: Mom · Stuff You Should Know

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Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera.
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Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to Stuff you Should Know
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Speaker 1: from House Stuff Works dot Com? So hey, I guess,
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Speaker 1: and welcome to the whatever this thing is? Right, it's
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Speaker 1: a podcast now, I guess it is. We're chopping it up,
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Speaker 1: stripping it down, using parts elsewhere. All right, yeah, what
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Speaker 1: are you talking about? Well, um, Chuck, I think you
0:30
Speaker 1: know exactly what I'm talking about. But you and I
0:33
Speaker 1: went to Sirius XM headquarters in New York in their studios.
0:39
Speaker 1: We got like fifty stuff you should Know listeners to
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Speaker 1: show up and they sat there and watched us do
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Speaker 1: uh live radio show live the tape and it was
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Speaker 1: about July four. It was about America, totally fun and
0:50
Speaker 1: Neto and Uh, I'm kind of like this live show thing.
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Speaker 1: It's like it's like, you know, it's a little weird
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Speaker 1: at first, but I think we got over that in
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Speaker 1: the first few minutes. I never did no plus. Also,
1:05
Speaker 1: I don't know if you'll be able to pick this up,
1:07
Speaker 1: but starting in about the thirty minute mark, I became
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Speaker 1: almost overwhelmed with the need to go to bathroom. Yeah
1:15
Speaker 1: you told me this afterwards, I had to so badly
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Speaker 1: and I was just holding it because I drank so
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Speaker 1: much water. Remember, I was nervously drinking water, which is
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Speaker 1: like the dumbest thing you can do before you're about
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Speaker 1: to sit down and for two hours. Yeah, so I
1:29
Speaker 1: guess listen out for that as we present this two
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Speaker 1: parter episode, which helps for us because one of our
1:36
Speaker 1: listeners send in some beer and Jerry's refusing to do
1:40
Speaker 1: anything for this week because she's mad at us because
1:43
Speaker 1: we didn't share it with her. So this is good
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Speaker 1: for us, right, Yeah, Yeah, I didn't know that went down.
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Speaker 1: This is why we're doing this. We're releasing this for
1:49
Speaker 1: this reason, all right, So without further ado, we got
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Speaker 1: the stuff you should know, does America with special guests
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Speaker 1: Wyatt Senac and uh Hallie Haglin of The Daily Show
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Speaker 1: with John Stewart, that's right, and Joe Garden and Joe
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Speaker 1: Randazzo of The Onion and Jill Morris of The Onion
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Speaker 1: as well. Ye, so let's begin, Chuck, Let's take you
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Speaker 1: back to July one, two thousand and eleven, Heavy Days,
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Speaker 1: starting right now, right now. Yeah, I wanted to change
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Speaker 1: that music at the last minute to the Elvis then
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Speaker 1: and then then and than Josh said it's too late,
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Speaker 1: And then I was gonna walk in like Elvis backwards,
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Speaker 1: and then Halle said you might trip and that might
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Speaker 1: be funny, but I didn't do it. Good. You're ready, Yeah,
3:03
Speaker 1: so hey, and welcome to the Live Radio Show. I'm Josh.
3:07
Speaker 1: This is Chuck. You take the good, you take the bad,
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Speaker 1: you take them both. And there you have the stuff
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Speaker 1: you should know. That's good. That was special for the
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Speaker 1: radio special. You didn't even tell me about that. No,
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Speaker 1: you never tell me anything. It's right here. That looks
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Speaker 1: fresh too. Yeah. The ink is rubbing. You just came
3:26
Speaker 1: up with effects of life bit. Yeah, in the moments.
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Speaker 1: So we're doing this a little different, Chuck than normal. Yes,
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Speaker 1: it's just you me. Now we have pairs of eyes
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Speaker 1: on us while we're doing this. That's more than yes,
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Speaker 1: um u um. And then we also have some special
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Speaker 1: guests that we're doing for this stuff you should know
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Speaker 1: about America Live Show, right, friends from the Daily Show
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Speaker 1: with John Stewart. Right, we have well John Stewart's not here. Yeah,
3:57
Speaker 1: but that's the full title. I'm told you have to
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Speaker 1: say it. That's what Hodgment told me. Um. So our
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Speaker 1: friends from the Daily Show with John Stewart include Wyatt Sinak, right,
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Speaker 1: do you all know? And love its kay Plat And
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Speaker 1: one of the esteem Daily Show writers Hallie Haglin. How
4:15
Speaker 1: are you haying? Howie was also a performer at the
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Speaker 1: Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater And if you all are fans
4:21
Speaker 1: of that, then you're pretty smart and cool because it's awesome.
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Speaker 1: Exactly so well crowd, um, And then we have friends
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Speaker 1: from The Onion as well, America's finest news source, which
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Speaker 1: just celebrated its thousand issue last week. Yeah, yeah, it's
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Speaker 1: been around for a while. We have the editor Joe Randazza. Say,
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Speaker 1: hi Joe. We have one of the head writers, Joe Garden,
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Speaker 1: and we have another writer, Jill Morris. Right, yeah, yeah,
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Speaker 1: hey Joe. So we're not quite a lineup here today, yea,
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Speaker 1: Joe's Joe's lovely wife, Anita's sitting in front of us. Yeah, hey,
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Speaker 1: my lovely wife is sitting in front of us. And
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Speaker 1: then a bunch of strangers. That's not quite true. We
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Speaker 1: have friends here as well, we do, and thank you
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Speaker 1: strangers and friends to coming out for this. This is uh,
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Speaker 1: this is really flattering. So thanks a lot. Thanks. Hopefully
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Speaker 1: it'll be fun, all right, Yes you want to get started? Yes,
5:22
Speaker 1: So we supposed to wear these? I mean you can't
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Speaker 1: if you want. I don't like that. We don't. We
5:26
Speaker 1: don't normally wear this is like behind the scenes. We
5:28
Speaker 1: we usually do have headphones and apparently we're the only
5:31
Speaker 1: ones who don't wear them at stuff. At stuff, you
5:33
Speaker 1: should know how stuff works. Yeah. I don't think we
5:37
Speaker 1: should change now, Chuck. I just don't want to get
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Speaker 1: him sweaty. Okay, so let's start. Um, we're gonna start.
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Speaker 1: We We recently did a podcast on America's first murder.
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Speaker 1: I think it came out yesterday, right, Yeah, who was it?
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Speaker 1: John Billington' that's we just gave away the ending. Um
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Speaker 1: he uh we we We were digging around like doing
5:58
Speaker 1: research for this pod cast. Um and uh, I don't
6:01
Speaker 1: know how many of you have heard it or not,
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Speaker 1: hopefully very few because we ripped off some of the
6:05
Speaker 1: content from it for this part. But um, one of
6:08
Speaker 1: the things we found was that um, John Billington, who
6:11
Speaker 1: was a Puritan and lived in Plymouth colony. Um. When
6:16
Speaker 1: we started digging around in Plymouth, calling me, there's this
6:18
Speaker 1: whole semi underbelly Puritan we should do that. Yeah. Yeah,
6:22
Speaker 1: the Puritans um that that there was this whole life
6:25
Speaker 1: of crime that like we had no idea existed. And
6:29
Speaker 1: so we started digging further and further. We came to realize, like,
6:32
Speaker 1: America is kind of this like crazy place, right for
6:36
Speaker 1: a reason, It's been built like echelon by echelon upun
6:40
Speaker 1: crazy upon crazy right, right, So so we figured we
6:44
Speaker 1: we just kind of go over some of the the
6:47
Speaker 1: factors that led to the craziness that that was taking
6:50
Speaker 1: on the British right. And we had our good friend
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Speaker 1: Wyatt Senak come by to to talk to us about that. Right, Hey,
6:56
Speaker 1: why you want to come sit with us? Why not?
7:00
Speaker 1: Why a senecal everybody? I'm are you gonna wear them?
7:05
Speaker 1: Because I'm a professional. These headphones were probably worn by
7:10
Speaker 1: Bridget the Midget on Howard Stern Show. Yeah, you see
7:15
Speaker 1: that door is tightly sealed. I asked if I could
7:18
Speaker 1: take a peek since no one's here this weekend. They
7:19
Speaker 1: said no, no, no one peaks. No, they keep Bababuie
7:24
Speaker 1: in there her medically sealed. Let me out. Yeah, Um, so,
7:31
Speaker 1: why as as I'm sure everyone here knows you are,
7:34
Speaker 1: um formally trained in uh colonial American history. You have
7:39
Speaker 1: a doctorate in it, right? I do. I have a
7:42
Speaker 1: doctorate from, uh the University of Hawaii. Go Warriors, right,
7:48
Speaker 1: Rainbow Warriors. No, it's the University of Hawaii at Arkansas.
7:54
Speaker 1: Go Warrior. Yeah. Um, well that's why we invited you.
8:00
Speaker 1: You buy here today. Are you familiar with some of
8:02
Speaker 1: the uh, the the semior underbelly of American history or
8:06
Speaker 1: are you just kind of part and parcel to the
8:09
Speaker 1: you know, the the textbook stuff. I know the textbook
8:14
Speaker 1: stuff that you know, and I know the stuff that
8:17
Speaker 1: they talk about in like reality shows when it's like, oh, yeah,
8:20
Speaker 1: you're gonna go live in like a house, or like
8:23
Speaker 1: you're gonna go live in like you know. So I
8:26
Speaker 1: assume it's it was like that where there were there
8:29
Speaker 1: were camera crews following you everywhere, and we just haven't
8:33
Speaker 1: found those tapes yet. I assume there are three quarter
8:36
Speaker 1: inch tapes, So that's probably part of the problem. Nobody
8:39
Speaker 1: has a three quarter inch machine anymore. Well, we're going
8:44
Speaker 1: to uh, I guess open your eyes a little bit then,
8:47
Speaker 1: are you cool with that? So? Um, chuck, one of
8:50
Speaker 1: the first things that we uh that we figured out. Um.
8:54
Speaker 1: I guess what caught our attention is um the criminal
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Speaker 1: element that was in my colony with the the Puritans, right, yes,
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Speaker 1: And by criminal we mean specifically, uh, buggery. Are you
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Speaker 1: familiar with buggery? Not on an intimate but I do
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Speaker 1: know what I do know what buggery is. I should
9:17
Speaker 1: point out real quick that there was an email exchange
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Speaker 1: last week, a real email exchange, where Josh had written
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Speaker 1: this out and said, you know, buggery is a very
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Speaker 1: polite term for best reality. It's so yeah, and I
9:26
Speaker 1: had to send him a Neil said, hey, dude, by
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Speaker 1: the way, buggery is also sodom me. I have the
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Speaker 1: email still and it's framed and on my wall. I'm
9:36
Speaker 1: just curious if we have those people at work that
9:38
Speaker 1: like spying your email. All it literally said was, by
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Speaker 1: the way, buggery is also saddomy. Josh, Well, I want
9:43
Speaker 1: you to know that. I also like the idea that
9:45
Speaker 1: like that, in the time when buggery was popular, that
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Speaker 1: perhaps if you were a registered buggerer, that like somebody
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Speaker 1: was like, gross, you're you mess around with animals and
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Speaker 1: someone would get indignant like no, no, I do not.
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Speaker 1: I am a sodomist, A very proud one. How dare no?
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Speaker 1: I would never do that to an animal. They're beautiful creatures,
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Speaker 1: especially that one. Yeah, okay, maybe I would. Alright, you
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Speaker 1: got me. I'm an all around buggerast there was an
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Speaker 1: actual buggers that we came across, right, His name is
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Speaker 1: Thomas Granger? And um, can you read Old English? Uh? Sure? So?
10:32
Speaker 1: This is this is a This is a quote from them,
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Speaker 1: the court records of Plymouth Colony. I think in like
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Speaker 1: six thirty one? Do you do you mind taking it?
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Speaker 1: It's right here? Sure, just read. That's just a test
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Speaker 1: to see if I know how to read read Old English.
10:48
Speaker 1: They use their vs. Oh is that what that is? Okay?
10:53
Speaker 1: Do you want me to read it in Old English? Yeah?
10:56
Speaker 1: Of course it's almost scroll late servants, slutely bruster of ducksborrow?
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Speaker 1: Was this court? That's how everyone used to sound in America.
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Speaker 1: Was this court indited for buggery with a mayor, a cow,
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Speaker 1: two goats, dive of sheep, two calves, and a turkey,
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Speaker 1: and was found guilty and received sentence of death by
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Speaker 1: hanging until he was dead. So that's what happened to
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Speaker 1: you if you were called I guess this guy is
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Speaker 1: probably like the worst serial buggerist that Plymouth Colony produced
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Speaker 1: that you know of, but that I can find record.
11:42
Speaker 1: But what I was gonna say, it does seem like, Okay,
11:46
Speaker 1: so there's a mayor, a cow, two goats, some sheep,
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Speaker 1: some calves which I don't know if they're related to
11:52
Speaker 1: the cow, and a turkey like it does. And I
11:57
Speaker 1: was saying this to you earlier. Uh. For whatever people
12:01
Speaker 1: want to say about our technological distractions that we have,
12:05
Speaker 1: those may be the only things keeping us from having
12:10
Speaker 1: sex with animals. This is clearly these are board people
12:15
Speaker 1: that they're just like, I'm bored, and there are no
12:18
Speaker 1: singles bars. There's just that barn, just that barn and
12:24
Speaker 1: this groin. Let's makes something happen. Also, I'm just gonna
12:32
Speaker 1: say this, I'm gonna throw this out there. The turkey.
12:34
Speaker 1: How do we know that turkey didn't bugger the man?
12:38
Speaker 1: I think that's an excellent point. Yeah. But so Thomas Granger, right,
12:42
Speaker 1: he's he's hank filled dead as you just read um
12:45
Speaker 1: and he got it, would have you believe, right, Well,
12:48
Speaker 1: that's that's the court records. That's what they say, right,
12:51
Speaker 1: But the ghost of Thomas Granger. Right, it's still around.
12:53
Speaker 1: He's not in the barn. Yeah. Well, it's like that movie.
12:56
Speaker 1: What was the movie where the guy who got electric
12:58
Speaker 1: key with the death and then like soccer? Was that shocker?
13:00
Speaker 1: I don't know. Did he come back to life the
13:06
Speaker 1: Green Shocker? Okay, oh no, no, no, I just want
13:10
Speaker 1: to talk about that's a clean show, and I know
13:13
Speaker 1: it just we've been talking about Balty for like seven minutes.
13:19
Speaker 1: That's true. I'm sorry, it's good he did that. He
13:22
Speaker 1: did the old English voice and everything. So well. The
13:25
Speaker 1: point is that there was crazy crime in in Plymouth Colony.
13:29
Speaker 1: Are you seeing that now? The Puritans? Sure? Yeah? Um
13:34
Speaker 1: and uh. He got off kind of harshly because he
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Speaker 1: was a pretty pretty big into the buggery. Other people
13:41
Speaker 1: would be enjoyed the he got off. I tried not
13:45
Speaker 1: to laugh so hard. There was something in the air
13:49
Speaker 1: and everybody needed to release it. I think we're all
13:51
Speaker 1: more appreciative of it now that we've got it out there. Yes,
13:56
Speaker 1: but he so he was hanged. Other people were putting
13:59
Speaker 1: the stocks. Right, if you, uh were a gossip, you
14:02
Speaker 1: would be dunked on the log is one one type
14:06
Speaker 1: of punishment. So there's a lot of crime. There's a
14:08
Speaker 1: lot of punishment, right, weird punishment for weird crime exactly,
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Speaker 1: Like gossiping was one that you would get you dunked
14:15
Speaker 1: on a log in a lake that seems like a
14:18
Speaker 1: weird yeah, which I imagine you'd be tied to the log, gir.
14:21
Speaker 1: Else they just put you on a log and dunky
14:22
Speaker 1: and you just fall off and be fine, went back
14:24
Speaker 1: to shore and be like can I go back home now?
14:27
Speaker 1: But again it goes that idea of boredom where it's
14:30
Speaker 1: like we need to punish this person, right, you know,
14:33
Speaker 1: you can put them in the stocks. That's that's boring,
14:37
Speaker 1: Like well, no, with the stocks, like apparently people would come,
14:40
Speaker 1: like they close school down and people would come from
14:42
Speaker 1: surrounding villages to children laugh and they would have a
14:46
Speaker 1: sign that said what their crime was obviously sort of
14:48
Speaker 1: like the scarlet letter. So being in the stocks was
14:51
Speaker 1: like being a stand up comedian basically what sort of
14:55
Speaker 1: you talk about all of your problems or in this case,
14:58
Speaker 1: they put a sign up of all your problems and
15:00
Speaker 1: people would laugh at them. I think there's less money
15:02
Speaker 1: and stand up though, as I understand it, so um
15:06
Speaker 1: apparently finding a house is a really really difficult thing, right,
15:10
Speaker 1: it was very difficult. Like, they lived in caves originally. Yeah,
15:13
Speaker 1: did you know this. I didn't know this that they
15:15
Speaker 1: lived that there was some there was a lot of
15:17
Speaker 1: cave living. So yeah. So they so they get to
15:19
Speaker 1: the New World and they're like, well, I don't know
15:22
Speaker 1: how to build a house. I thought you knew how
15:23
Speaker 1: to build a house. And they had to live in
15:25
Speaker 1: caves a while until they figured out how to build
15:27
Speaker 1: a house. And then the houses they built were, um,
15:29
Speaker 1: really crude and rudimentary, like they were. They were thatched,
15:33
Speaker 1: covered in mud with sticks, with maybe a hole in
15:36
Speaker 1: the in the top, right, which apparently still kills two
15:41
Speaker 1: million people a year. Did you know that I had
15:43
Speaker 1: to bring me down. Having a hole in your roof
15:46
Speaker 1: kills two millions. Not having a hole in your roof
15:49
Speaker 1: particulate matter. Fact, Yeah, it really is. So wait, so
15:54
Speaker 1: you're saying like, if you live in an apartment, because
15:56
Speaker 1: there's no hole in your apartment, you're you're dead, right
16:00
Speaker 1: only if you're in your apartment right now, get out.
16:05
Speaker 1: Don't cook anything with dung in your apartment. And that's
16:08
Speaker 1: actually good to know just in general, that's why people
16:11
Speaker 1: die though it's sad, it's not funny. No, but and
16:13
Speaker 1: and um and apparently in the colonies to that, you
16:16
Speaker 1: had to keep your fire going because no one had matches, right,
16:20
Speaker 1: so if you let your fire go out, you had
16:22
Speaker 1: you go to the neighbor's house and borrow a charcoal. Yeah,
16:25
Speaker 1: and it sounds I don't know, people are living in caves,
16:28
Speaker 1: they don't have fire. It sounds like, uh, I don't understand. Yeah,
16:33
Speaker 1: I thought they were a little more advanced than that.
16:35
Speaker 1: And you know, it was apparently a roll bumber because
16:37
Speaker 1: you had to start your own fire. And I don't know,
16:39
Speaker 1: I don't buy it. There's something though about like they
16:41
Speaker 1: had to keep their fire going, like all the time
16:45
Speaker 1: that you look at just how far we have or
16:49
Speaker 1: have not common that they wasted a lot of energy
16:52
Speaker 1: back then and we still do it today thanks for fathers.
16:59
Speaker 1: Very true. But the hole in the roof we bring
17:01
Speaker 1: up because it would also you know, it's kind of crappy,
17:04
Speaker 1: it would let in rain and snow and other drastic elements.
17:09
Speaker 1: So the one guy who could build the houses, Thomas Stranger,
17:13
Speaker 1: I guess, wasn't around, so they so they had to
17:17
Speaker 1: find once they got sick of the caves they had
17:20
Speaker 1: to find. That's where that comes from. Yeah, that's called quest.
17:25
Speaker 1: Bugging out is all about. Oh, there was a New
17:29
Speaker 1: York animal sex and scene that they were. It was
17:34
Speaker 1: a warning to people like, look, you don't want to
17:36
Speaker 1: be bugging out because they will hang you to death,
17:41
Speaker 1: that's right, and death by hanging until you were dead,
17:45
Speaker 1: which I thought was a little weird. So they eventually
17:48
Speaker 1: did get houses though, because there were these people that
17:51
Speaker 1: maybe you've not heard of, called Indians that lived in
17:53
Speaker 1: this country, and uh, we did a nice job of
17:56
Speaker 1: coming over and killing them with disease thanks to it
18:01
Speaker 1: was it Desto that brought over the pigs. Here was
18:03
Speaker 1: one of them, but yeah, De Soto brought over like
18:04
Speaker 1: three to eat and he just made him walk around
18:08
Speaker 1: until he kill him and eat them because you can't
18:11
Speaker 1: really pack a lunch back then, right, Well, I mean
18:13
Speaker 1: it makes sense, it makes sense. But they spread like pox. Yeah,
18:17
Speaker 1: so the pigs killed the Indians and then they're like, hey,
18:19
Speaker 1: now we got a place to live. Look at all
18:22
Speaker 1: these awesome Indian huts. It took them a little while
18:24
Speaker 1: to figure it out, but then they that's the first
18:26
Speaker 1: example of gentrification. It was. That was the Williamsburg Brooklyn
18:37
Speaker 1: of colonial life. So, um, we've got cave living. We
18:41
Speaker 1: have a lot of a lot of abandoned dead Indian houses, right,
18:45
Speaker 1: since we now agreed, are the first hipsters right right?
18:50
Speaker 1: I'm sure they also had twirly mustaches, right, yeah it did. Yeah.
18:54
Speaker 1: Um And and then uh, you pretty much have to
18:58
Speaker 1: make anything that you you know, want, right, It didn't
19:01
Speaker 1: bring anything over with them. See, to like churn butter,
19:04
Speaker 1: you had to plant crops. He had to so crops
19:08
Speaker 1: is that so? Is that same thing as plant harvest read? Yes,
19:12
Speaker 1: so so seeds yes? Um? And you fear the reaper.
19:20
Speaker 1: You have to make your candles um. And pretty much
19:24
Speaker 1: like so it is everything that hipsters and williamsburn exactly.
19:29
Speaker 1: We're uncovering a thread here that like I didn't realize
19:32
Speaker 1: it was in there. If you want to see colonial America,
19:34
Speaker 1: that's why it is. That is colonial Williamsburg. It's not
19:39
Speaker 1: in Virginia. Yeah, that's wow. Look at that. It all
19:42
Speaker 1: came around the brain is working, not feeling well in
19:47
Speaker 1: the tummy, but the brain function and he just turns
19:52
Speaker 1: it on like that. I know. It's amazing. Um, and
19:55
Speaker 1: then so you've got all this work, right, You've got
19:57
Speaker 1: indentured servants. At first, Yeah, they came over with a
20:00
Speaker 1: promise of land, right, like, hey, I'll come up there
20:02
Speaker 1: work for you for you know, four years if you
20:03
Speaker 1: give me a parcel. And then it's like AmeriCorps, right
20:08
Speaker 1: pretty much. And then they ran out right, I think
20:12
Speaker 1: most of them got hung. And then just like America,
20:18
Speaker 1: somebody figured out that if you left um, Massachusetts and
20:22
Speaker 1: just followed the trade winds, it took you right to
20:24
Speaker 1: West Africa. So apparently we started to go to West
20:27
Speaker 1: Africa and get all sorts of free labor, and like
20:30
Speaker 1: between fourteen fifty nine hundred, like eleven million people were
20:34
Speaker 1: captured and brought to the America's right, it's one way
20:37
Speaker 1: to say it. Yeah, that's one way to put it. Um.
20:39
Speaker 1: So we've got now everything in place, right. We have
20:44
Speaker 1: crazed like um animals, starved hipsters running around. These are
20:50
Speaker 1: the columnists with the will to carve out, you know,
20:53
Speaker 1: their place in the wilderness. You've got um uh, we
20:56
Speaker 1: have slave labor, we have dead Indians um, and we
21:00
Speaker 1: have butter churning right, the whole thing. Everything, it's just
21:04
Speaker 1: a really rotten life for everybody involved. Right, But out
21:08
Speaker 1: of all this came like these cities around sev Dred.
21:11
Speaker 1: A little after that, you've got cities like Boston and Philadelphia,
21:15
Speaker 1: and they were starting to get nicer and nicer, and
21:16
Speaker 1: people started to take a little more pride in them,
21:19
Speaker 1: and um, all of a sudden, the British start flexing
21:21
Speaker 1: their muscles, right, And uh, I think because of the
21:26
Speaker 1: niceness of the cities, you you have this a certain
21:29
Speaker 1: level of resentment among the colonists of being told what
21:32
Speaker 1: to do. Like you're you're familiar with the Stamp Act.
21:34
Speaker 1: That was a big one, the t act that led
21:36
Speaker 1: to the Boston Tea Party. Okay, yeah, I don't realized
21:40
Speaker 1: that was all forms of paper at the time, is
21:41
Speaker 1: that right, the Stamp Act. Yeah, yeah, like any piece
21:45
Speaker 1: of paper you had to pay a tax on. They
21:46
Speaker 1: just didn't like that. It's kind of weird tax if
21:50
Speaker 1: you think about it. The t tex really joving crazy though,
21:53
Speaker 1: And then you had to a quarter British soldiers, which
21:56
Speaker 1: meant like let them stay in your house, which is
21:59
Speaker 1: kind of a thing too, which is nice if you
22:01
Speaker 1: need like a roommate or something like, yeah, I'm kind
22:05
Speaker 1: of lonely and there's no TV back. Now you need
22:09
Speaker 1: like an extra hand around the house, right, yeah, yeah, right,
22:12
Speaker 1: Hey British soldier, would you mind grabbing me out of
22:16
Speaker 1: the non existent fridge? My arms about to fall off? Yeah. Um, well,
22:24
Speaker 1: so I guess you're right. I think you make a
22:25
Speaker 1: pretty good point that like quartering British soldiers weren't that bad.
22:29
Speaker 1: So it was the taxes I think that really got them.
22:31
Speaker 1: And um, one of the things that the colonists did
22:34
Speaker 1: was to um, basically tar and feather text collectors. Are
22:39
Speaker 1: you familiar with this processing feather? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, they
22:42
Speaker 1: still do it in Williamsburg. Bring it all back to Williamsbrook.
22:47
Speaker 1: It's the only thing I know. And so so it's
22:48
Speaker 1: a it's a pretty horrific process, right, I mean, to
22:51
Speaker 1: get the tar onto somebody's skin because that boils because
22:54
Speaker 1: it's gonna be hot, right, and then the feathers is
22:57
Speaker 1: just adding insult to injury. Yeah, I'm sure that point.
23:00
Speaker 1: The feathers are probably not as bad. It was just like,
23:03
Speaker 1: oh god, this tar, Oh this is terrible. Why are
23:07
Speaker 1: you putting feather? I mean that's fine, but really the
23:10
Speaker 1: tar you could have just stopped at the tar perfectly, honest,
23:14
Speaker 1: Oh this hurts so much. Well, then the feathers might
23:17
Speaker 1: have provided a nice cooling effect. You never know, and
23:20
Speaker 1: that was their little secret. They were like, no, not
23:21
Speaker 1: the feathers. It looks like a chicken. But it's okay,
23:27
Speaker 1: Oh thank you, hollow feather. The wind blows through you
23:32
Speaker 1: so well. But whether without the feathers, it was pretty
23:35
Speaker 1: awful right to have the hot tar. World agreed on that. Yeah,
23:38
Speaker 1: you point out specifically in here that it's a lot
23:40
Speaker 1: worse than you might think, you know. I was like,
23:42
Speaker 1: it's actually I thought to begin with it, it was
23:44
Speaker 1: probably pretty bad. Well, no, it's so cartoonist, you know,
23:47
Speaker 1: taring and feathering somebody I think Scooby Doo did it before.
23:51
Speaker 1: It just seems like, you know, what's a big deal.
23:53
Speaker 1: But then you think, well, a hot boiling tar. You
23:56
Speaker 1: ever been waxed? No, yeah, that's that's hot too. Yeah
24:01
Speaker 1: well then because yeah, because then you gotta take it
24:03
Speaker 1: off and problem. Yeah, and it's like you use like
24:08
Speaker 1: turpentine or which then that burns which when you and
24:12
Speaker 1: you maybe probably still have little chunks of tar on
24:16
Speaker 1: you for the rest of your life, like you're never
24:18
Speaker 1: totally clean, which is also like a time when everybody
24:23
Speaker 1: had bed bugs and like that was just a thing
24:25
Speaker 1: like actually, Williamsburg is totally fine. We got rid of
24:34
Speaker 1: the bed bugs there. It's all in bushwork. Those jerks.
24:38
Speaker 1: Um No. But that's like the weird thing when you
24:41
Speaker 1: think about, like, oh, yeah, it would be interesting to
24:43
Speaker 1: have a time machine and go back to that time
24:45
Speaker 1: and see people. No it wouldn't. You got like some
24:48
Speaker 1: guy who's still trying to like pick off tar on
24:51
Speaker 1: his arm and then it's just like pock marked all
24:54
Speaker 1: over from bed bugs and dysenterry or whatever else whatever
24:59
Speaker 1: horrible things. People probably looked horrible. They like, that's the one,
25:03
Speaker 1: like everybody looks like mutants back then, just saying no,
25:09
Speaker 1: it's not, it's really it's just a point that when
25:12
Speaker 1: we look back at, you know, this time with like
25:15
Speaker 1: great affection, we should also realize, like, these are some
25:18
Speaker 1: awful looking mutant people. But I think I think that's
25:21
Speaker 1: the point. I think they were aware of this. They
25:23
Speaker 1: were aware that they had bed bugs, they were covered
25:26
Speaker 1: in hot tar um they had did they just accepted
25:30
Speaker 1: as like like I feel like if all you know
25:32
Speaker 1: is bed bugs, you don't know a world without bed bugs.
25:35
Speaker 1: Like you're just kind of like like if you if
25:37
Speaker 1: you showed up, if you've got a time machine and
25:39
Speaker 1: showed up like you are, you know, with your fancy
25:43
Speaker 1: haircut and your exfoliated skin, people would be like a demon,
25:51
Speaker 1: where are his bug bites? He just pets that cow.
25:58
Speaker 1: He doesn't try to have sex with him. Burn the
26:03
Speaker 1: witch didn't put him on a log and dunk him.
26:07
Speaker 1: See but um, according to the um, the thing that
26:10
Speaker 1: I wrote, though they were aware of it is the thing, right,
26:14
Speaker 1: which is what drove them crazy to to you know,
26:17
Speaker 1: they were crazy enough to take on the bridge, which
26:19
Speaker 1: little known fact by the way, right this this um,
26:22
Speaker 1: this taxation that drove them to tar and feather people
26:25
Speaker 1: without representation. Well that was the big problem. To keep
26:29
Speaker 1: an eye on, d seat because they don't like it either, right, Um.
26:32
Speaker 1: But they these taxes, most of them were repealed because
26:35
Speaker 1: of the tarring and feathering right before they were ever
26:38
Speaker 1: even enacted. But the colonists still decided, no, we're gonna
26:42
Speaker 1: revolt anyway. We really like Philadelphia, it's pretty nice. We're
26:45
Speaker 1: kind of tired of having you here. So they took
26:47
Speaker 1: on the world's largest military, the controller of the largest
26:52
Speaker 1: empire from Canada to India. Canada, Canada, India. Yeah, I
26:58
Speaker 1: had no idea. It's married had for a long time. Um.
27:02
Speaker 1: And and they won, right sure, Yeah, using things like
27:06
Speaker 1: crazy guerrilla tactics. That was one way. Yeah, um. And
27:10
Speaker 1: then so on what I think June eleventh, eighth Chuck,
27:14
Speaker 1: June eleventh, the eighteenth only took that many days for T. J.
27:18
Speaker 1: Thomas Jefferson, who also rewrote the Bible, and some of
27:22
Speaker 1: you may know from listening to our show, he decided
27:24
Speaker 1: to take a break from that blasphemy to draft the
27:28
Speaker 1: Declaration of Independence, and it only took him what seven days?
27:32
Speaker 1: Seven days? God created in the earth in seven days,
27:35
Speaker 1: you'd think that, you know, it's not that long of
27:38
Speaker 1: a document. Really, it's a one cheat, right, could just
27:42
Speaker 1: bang that. I couldn't bang that out in a day
27:45
Speaker 1: in an afternoon? Seriously, right now, I bet all of
27:48
Speaker 1: us could write our own declarations of independence, just text
27:52
Speaker 1: it the one another. Yeah, we could just we could
27:55
Speaker 1: tweet some time at the end. Maybe everybody could just
27:58
Speaker 1: take a half hour to right there start reading them.
28:02
Speaker 1: I think that would be a nice thing. I think
28:03
Speaker 1: if everybody wrote their own declaration of independence. Uh and
28:08
Speaker 1: uh then we all put on hats with little tea
28:11
Speaker 1: bags on them and go to a tea party rally
28:15
Speaker 1: and say this is the this is the declaration. We
28:18
Speaker 1: should all follow this one because I don't like the
28:22
Speaker 1: current one because it got weird now somehow for some reason. Um, yeah, well,
28:30
Speaker 1: thanks guys for stopping. But thanks. Yeah. Now let's get
28:37
Speaker 1: back to midnight Sounds with thank you. Why it's tonack everybody,
28:44
Speaker 1: thank you. This is stuff you should know about America
28:47
Speaker 1: tend the serious X time studios in New York City.
28:50
Speaker 1: Now more from Josh and Chuck. How about that holl
28:53
Speaker 1: the better than you know that? Well, we're winging it.
28:56
Speaker 1: You know, are you staying? What? Yeah? I mean you
29:01
Speaker 1: don't have to. I know you're not feeling Yeah. Why
29:03
Speaker 1: it came in here, like on his deathbed to do this,
29:05
Speaker 1: so goodbye? Why? Thank you everybody? And whyat I felt
29:15
Speaker 1: like he was gonna stay and then I ran them out.
29:19
Speaker 1: Clearly he told me he was leaving. It's not my fault.
29:22
Speaker 1: So um, that's okay, right, Jill seems to think, So okay,
29:29
Speaker 1: thanks j um. What do we have next, Chuck, We're
29:33
Speaker 1: gonna we're gonna talk about America right throughout this. That's right,
29:37
Speaker 1: And what's more American than baseball? Baseball? I'm holding up
29:42
Speaker 1: a baseball for those of you listening in three hours
29:45
Speaker 1: on Series X. M uh yeah, baseball. We thought about, hey,
29:48
Speaker 1: we should do something on apple pie and baseball and Chevrolet.
29:51
Speaker 1: But apple pie is kind of boring, and Chevrolet we
29:55
Speaker 1: you know, there's obviously implications there. We've spent a little
29:58
Speaker 1: time looking for a well pie recipe and realized that, yeah,
30:02
Speaker 1: unless we could have somebody actually making it. As I understand,
30:08
Speaker 1: it kind of sunk in pretty quickly that we weren't
30:10
Speaker 1: going to do that apple to stick to baseball. But Chuck,
30:13
Speaker 1: you're you're out of the two of us, you're definitely
30:15
Speaker 1: the sports guy, right, Yes, so you want to you
30:17
Speaker 1: want to tell everybody about Mordecai Brown. Yes, this is
30:21
Speaker 1: the history and how to throw a curveball. We will
30:24
Speaker 1: teach you all this so you can go practice at
30:26
Speaker 1: home in Williamsburg. U. The curveball actually was not invented
30:31
Speaker 1: by this guy, but it's definitely the better story of
30:34
Speaker 1: of the three dudes who were kind of the first
30:37
Speaker 1: ones that throw a curveball. And his name was Mordecai
30:40
Speaker 1: Peter Centennial Brown, later to be known as Mordecai three
30:45
Speaker 1: finger Brown. And that is foreshadowing, right, And he was
30:49
Speaker 1: he was named centennial because he was born in eighty right,
30:52
Speaker 1: But I didn't know that? Is that extra research? Yeah?
30:54
Speaker 1: Well no, I mean he was born a hundred years
30:57
Speaker 1: after the country's birth, and says I figured it had
30:59
Speaker 1: something to do with it, So he was named He
31:01
Speaker 1: was a centennial baby, that's right. And he was a
31:03
Speaker 1: baseball fan as a small child and wanted to play
31:07
Speaker 1: in the big leagues, the burgeoning big leagues, and he
31:10
Speaker 1: uh didn't heat his parents advice, and he put his
31:14
Speaker 1: hand I would guess by accident into a witch chipper,
31:17
Speaker 1: a food chopper, a food chopper, feed chopper, feed chopper.
31:21
Speaker 1: It's a big difference what is for animals. And what
31:25
Speaker 1: it did was it cut off I believe his index
31:26
Speaker 1: finger on his right hand, and uh mangled the others.
31:31
Speaker 1: And if that's not enough, a few weeks later, I
31:33
Speaker 1: believe while he was still healing, he slipped and fell
31:36
Speaker 1: and broke and mangled the rest of his fingers. He
31:39
Speaker 1: was a he was a rambunctious young man. So that's
31:42
Speaker 1: where he got the name three fingers, leaving him with
31:45
Speaker 1: three and had his thumb. But they were very um
31:48
Speaker 1: they were very accurate back then because tectually the thumb
31:52
Speaker 1: is not a finger. That's right. Did you see a
31:54
Speaker 1: picture of this guy's hand. No, isn't messed up. It
31:57
Speaker 1: was messed up. He's got like the one finger that
31:59
Speaker 1: was man literally made like a right turn at the
32:02
Speaker 1: middle knuckle. But this was all good news. So don't
32:05
Speaker 1: feel bad for Mordecai three fingers Brown because uh, what
32:09
Speaker 1: he did years later he went to work in the
32:11
Speaker 1: coal mines of western Indiana and this is not good
32:15
Speaker 1: improved and uh. He had a coworker named Legs O'Connell.
32:22
Speaker 1: I couldn't make this stuff up. His name was Legs o. Colin.
32:25
Speaker 1: He was a former Big leaguer and he encouraged three fingers.
32:29
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, you should go try and pitch with
32:31
Speaker 1: that funky looking hand, your friend. It might do some
32:34
Speaker 1: weird stuff. And it did. What it did was it
32:37
Speaker 1: caused a inordinate amount of pop spin that was very
32:41
Speaker 1: frustrating at first until he realized that that top spin
32:44
Speaker 1: curved the ball if he could control it. Advantage. That's right, Yeah,
32:49
Speaker 1: because think about it, he's he's missing, he's down at
32:51
Speaker 1: an index finger, so he's holding the ball like that. Yeah.
32:54
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's gonna produce top spin. And while I
32:57
Speaker 1: was researching this in our office, I kept like going
33:00
Speaker 1: like this, yeah, yeah, that's exactly trying to figure out yea,
33:07
Speaker 1: but yes, so we figured it out right, but I
33:10
Speaker 1: think we should. I don't know if he fully understood it.
33:13
Speaker 1: Mordecai Brown, right, three fingers, three fingers, Um, he mastered it.
33:18
Speaker 1: Who knows if he fully understood it, because it was
33:21
Speaker 1: only like twenty years earlier that a guy named Gustav
33:25
Speaker 1: Magnus right came up with this, this idea called the
33:28
Speaker 1: Magnus effect, that explains how a curveball works. Right. So
33:33
Speaker 1: the physics of it are that the the spin of
33:36
Speaker 1: the ball when you throw a curveball. And this is
33:40
Speaker 1: mainly for you guys here in the studio audience, be
33:42
Speaker 1: holding up this baseball. This is an apple pie, and
33:45
Speaker 1: how you make it. But when you when you throw
33:46
Speaker 1: a curveball and you give it topspin, the seams hit
33:49
Speaker 1: the air right, and the way they hit the air, um,
33:51
Speaker 1: the flow of air causes friction, right, So there's like
33:54
Speaker 1: you said, in an inordinate amount of friction on the
33:57
Speaker 1: on the top of the ball because it's fighting the
33:59
Speaker 1: wind essentially right, So it's higher pressure here, lower pressure
34:03
Speaker 1: down below because it's going with the wind exactly. Um.
34:05
Speaker 1: So it creates kind of this whirlpool underneath the ball,
34:08
Speaker 1: and the magnets force, which is the downward pull of
34:11
Speaker 1: it into that whirl pool, causes a ball to suddenly drop.
34:15
Speaker 1: That's right. And Magnus figured this out because I believe
34:18
Speaker 1: it was he saw a spinning sphere underwater and notice it.
34:23
Speaker 1: If it was spinning and water, it moved, it was
34:25
Speaker 1: forced to move to the side. So he wasn't a
34:28
Speaker 1: baseball guy. This is maybe before baseball, was it. Yeah,
34:33
Speaker 1: it was like eighteen fifty. Do we have any baseball
34:36
Speaker 1: fishingados Koobi eighteen fifty baseball? Yes or no? Not a baseball.
34:46
Speaker 1: So Magnets figures this out. Three Fingers figures this out.
34:49
Speaker 1: Three Fingers played for the Cubbies in UH nineteen o
34:53
Speaker 1: three and was a member, a very important member of
34:56
Speaker 1: the last World Series team the Cubs ever had in
34:59
Speaker 1: nineteen o eight, nineteen o nine, nineteen o nine. He
35:02
Speaker 1: was the that was their first pennant, and then they
35:05
Speaker 1: won consecutive pennants. Right, so the nineteen o nine Cubs
35:08
Speaker 1: were the last ones to win the pennant. Right, you're right,
35:10
Speaker 1: but he did not invent the curveball. Is just the
35:11
Speaker 1: best story that kirkball is generally credited to Fred Goldsmith
35:17
Speaker 1: and William Arthur Candy Cummings and I don't know why
35:21
Speaker 1: I made air quotes. I don't know why he was
35:22
Speaker 1: named Candy. But he was apparently five eight and twenty pounds,
35:27
Speaker 1: so he may have just been a little plaything of
35:29
Speaker 1: a baseball player at the time, although he was probably
35:31
Speaker 1: big at the time. Yeah, yeah, but he was a
35:33
Speaker 1: giant foreshadowing. So um, when those guys were pitching, though,
35:39
Speaker 1: like thirty years before, um three fingers like the the curveballer,
35:43
Speaker 1: they called it the skew ball, the skew ball, and
35:45
Speaker 1: pitchers were called twirlers. Right. Well, the twirlers who threw
35:49
Speaker 1: skew balls were thought to be an ill repute because
35:52
Speaker 1: that was just kind of you know, the rules, Yeah,
35:55
Speaker 1: you can't throw a ball that curves. By the time
35:57
Speaker 1: more it kind of came around, it was you know,
35:59
Speaker 1: his curveball was so sweet that they let it in
36:03
Speaker 1: plus the hand they kind of felt bad for him
36:04
Speaker 1: something to do it, so Chuck. There's also a lot
36:07
Speaker 1: of discussion that's been going on, and I don't know
36:09
Speaker 1: if it's still settled um or not, but there's there's
36:14
Speaker 1: a lot of people wonder if the curveball actually exists
36:17
Speaker 1: or if it's an optical illusion. Right, yeah, I remember
36:19
Speaker 1: hearing about that a while ago, and I supposedly does exist.
36:22
Speaker 1: The physicians are physicists totally. Physicists have have concluded that yes,
36:29
Speaker 1: the curveball does exist. It's this magnus effect um. But
36:36
Speaker 1: still there the the explanation of how it could be
36:40
Speaker 1: an optical illusion. It is pretty interesting, right Yeah. This
36:43
Speaker 1: guy from the University of Pennsylvania, Arthur Shapiro of Bucknell University,
36:48
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, in Pennsylvania is a real buzz kill of
36:51
Speaker 1: a guy because he tried to prove it that the
36:52
Speaker 1: curveball didn't exist, right, and uh, he was wrong. Right. Yeah.
36:57
Speaker 1: The way he saw it was that when you're standing
37:01
Speaker 1: there taking a pitch, the ball comes from your central
37:04
Speaker 1: vision and then all of a sudden it hits your
37:06
Speaker 1: peripheral vision and at about that time it appears to
37:09
Speaker 1: just jerk suddenly jump back. Um. That was his explanation
37:16
Speaker 1: for the optical illusion. But it looks like upon recent
37:19
Speaker 1: camera work that there is such a thing as a curveball.
37:22
Speaker 1: It actually does move right, and it moves gradually. And
37:25
Speaker 1: then the reason it appears to break so hard when
37:26
Speaker 1: you're in the batter's boxes because you're not facing the
37:30
Speaker 1: picture dead on. And I have a theory of the
37:32
Speaker 1: guys that have the more open stance and the ladies, uh,
37:36
Speaker 1: maybe they hit curveballs a little bit better because they're
37:39
Speaker 1: facing a picture amountain. I don't know if it's that's
37:41
Speaker 1: my own personal theory. That's fine, good stuff. We'll go
37:45
Speaker 1: with that. You uh you, who's your favorite curveball thrower? Oh?
37:48
Speaker 1: Even better, what's your favorite name for a curveball esque pitch? Oh? Boy,
37:57
Speaker 1: I didn't know you're gonna ask me this. I'm gonna
37:58
Speaker 1: go with the big break big. But I like the
38:02
Speaker 1: fork ball. The forkball because there's different methods of throwing
38:06
Speaker 1: the curve. There's the slider, yeah, and they all curve.
38:10
Speaker 1: There's the Japanese shoot, though I've never heard of that one.
38:14
Speaker 1: I hadn't either until this one. They play baseball in Japan.
38:18
Speaker 1: And also I wanted to point out to that U
38:21
Speaker 1: the raised stitches uh is white curves more and cheaters
38:26
Speaker 1: scuff up the ball. That's why in the old days
38:28
Speaker 1: you would see pictures cheating with like an emery board
38:32
Speaker 1: in their pocket and they would scuff up the ball
38:34
Speaker 1: as much as possible. And also the reason why they
38:36
Speaker 1: switch out the baseball so much, because the more the
38:38
Speaker 1: ball is scuffed up, the more it's gonna curve and
38:41
Speaker 1: be unfair for the batters. There's some twirlers of ill repute,
38:44
Speaker 1: there's there are. And so that's a curveballs. You got
38:47
Speaker 1: anything else, I think that's it. Man, nice, that's curveballs.
38:54
Speaker 1: This is stuff you should know about America from the
38:57
Speaker 1: serious X time studios in New York City now more
39:00
Speaker 1: or from Josh and Chuck and that was jazz hands.
39:04
Speaker 1: Now I'll give people clapping every time somebody wants to fight,
39:09
Speaker 1: you go like this. It's the starting classroom. So up
39:13
Speaker 1: next we have something I am really excited about because
39:15
Speaker 1: I have no idea what we're in store for, to
39:18
Speaker 1: be honest, I know that it is called Unsung American Exports,
39:23
Speaker 1: and I know our buddy Joe Garden from The Onion
39:25
Speaker 1: and Joe Morris are going to present it, and that's
39:27
Speaker 1: all I know. And ladies and gentlemen, Joe and Jill Gosh,
39:36
Speaker 1: this is uh am. I I don't actually hear myself
39:39
Speaker 1: being projected because we're in this sort of aquarium like structure.
39:42
Speaker 1: It's called the fish bowl. The fishbowl, I feel like
39:44
Speaker 1: the tresure chest in the fish bowl. You are um anyway,
39:48
Speaker 1: I would like to uh to point out Josh and
39:50
Speaker 1: Chunk do not know what I'm doing. This is based
39:53
Speaker 1: on my own research, and the press is really on.
39:55
Speaker 1: So I would like to encourage you all if you
39:57
Speaker 1: find factual inaccuracies, which you probably ill uh fact check gently,
40:01
Speaker 1: don't don't be angry, just sort of say, hey, you
40:04
Speaker 1: know you made a mistake and uh correct corrected dust lye.
40:09
Speaker 1: I also have another disclaimer. The following presentation contains information
40:12
Speaker 1: about sexually transmitted diseases, which we already sort of I mean,
40:16
Speaker 1: I don't even know if I need this after after
40:19
Speaker 1: the buttery uh. And it also breaks us to doubt
40:22
Speaker 1: the question of a certain gift bearing figure popular with children.
40:25
Speaker 1: You may wish to usher those under the age of
40:26
Speaker 1: twelve out of the room. I'll wait, are they gone? Okay,
40:32
Speaker 1: screw those kids anyway. Uh, wow, Jerry's cracking up over there.
40:37
Speaker 1: She's she's not actually in the She's not actually here.
40:40
Speaker 1: I decided to if I was gonna do a stuff
40:42
Speaker 1: you should know event I was just gonna go waist
40:44
Speaker 1: deep with it. I always wanted to say that. Um
40:48
Speaker 1: So moving on. I heard an interesting anecdote earlier this week.
40:52
Speaker 1: Um as at a party that featured a lot more
40:54
Speaker 1: taxiderman animals and I'm accustomed to seeing. And I met
40:56
Speaker 1: a I met a Pakistani documentary and uh, and we
41:01
Speaker 1: struck up a conversation. And in the course of in
41:04
Speaker 1: the course of our conversation, he found out I worked
41:06
Speaker 1: for the Onion. And he said, Oh, here's something you
41:08
Speaker 1: really should know. In my hometown of Karachi. Uh, there
41:12
Speaker 1: are you know, there are a lot of us. There
41:14
Speaker 1: are a lot of like suicide bombings of subject covered
41:17
Speaker 1: by an earlier podcast, um, and a lot of terrorist attacks.
41:22
Speaker 1: And uh. But the interesting thing is the terrorists usually
41:25
Speaker 1: target KFC or Pizza Hut and almost never target McDonald's.
41:30
Speaker 1: And I was really interested in this because when people
41:34
Speaker 1: think of American imperialist restaurant hegemony. Uh. They always think
41:38
Speaker 1: of the Golden arches. I mean it's everywhere. If I mean,
41:41
Speaker 1: I would have thought that somebody looking to attack of
41:42
Speaker 1: somembol of the United States would have just gone to
41:44
Speaker 1: the to the McDonald's, no questions asked um. So I
41:48
Speaker 1: asked why the terrorists choice was KFC. He said that
41:50
Speaker 1: people just like McDonald's more so, this is yet another
41:55
Speaker 1: way that I do not sympathize with terrorists. And we
41:58
Speaker 1: had we had a McDonald before we came here. I
42:01
Speaker 1: did not. I am that's okay, So you did. I
42:05
Speaker 1: I used the WiFi and sit nervously, Uh at an
42:08
Speaker 1: imaginary pile of water. Uh. So I wasn't gonna get
42:10
Speaker 1: kicked out. Um, but I haven't done so. Anyway, I
42:13
Speaker 1: just like to put out I have not verified this
42:15
Speaker 1: fact to independent sources, so please use caution futures to
42:18
Speaker 1: repeat this fact as it stands. I'm not even sure
42:20
Speaker 1: how you would research something like that. I tried Google
42:23
Speaker 1: searching Karachi McDonald's bombings, Uh, karake KFC bombings. They have
42:27
Speaker 1: both come up. Um. But if you do manage to
42:30
Speaker 1: verify it, please let me know, so I can use
42:32
Speaker 1: it again at future radio events. In any case, this
42:36
Speaker 1: all leeds bet to my team today. UH President Calladge Coolidge.
42:40
Speaker 1: Calvin Coolidge famously said, the business of America is business,
42:43
Speaker 1: and this maximums led the United States to all corners
42:45
Speaker 1: of the globe. There's the transformers in China, there's Harley
42:49
Speaker 1: Davidson's and Dubai Miller Beer in Germany. But what about
42:52
Speaker 1: the exports that aren't monetized? Who will celebrate those things
42:55
Speaker 1: that have an impact it can't be measured in billions
42:57
Speaker 1: or even hundreds of dollars. Why that person would me
43:00
Speaker 1: Joe Garden, with the assistance of Onion contributing writer Joe Morris,
43:03
Speaker 1: who'll be providing pertinent fact notes or footnotes to my rambling.
43:07
Speaker 1: First up, Santa Claus, before you jumped on my throat,
43:11
Speaker 1: I'd like to a knowledge that Santa Claus is not
43:13
Speaker 1: of us origin per se. He's an amalgama of several
43:16
Speaker 1: figures that drew from St. Nicholas. That it primarily drew
43:20
Speaker 1: from St. Nicholas, who plays gifts in children's stockings hunting
43:23
Speaker 1: from the hearth every December five. After the Reformation, the
43:26
Speaker 1: Dutch disavowed all Catholic saints, and particularly they tried to
43:30
Speaker 1: ban the celebration of St. Nicholas's holiday. But when you
43:33
Speaker 1: try to take a gift giving holiday away from people people,
43:36
Speaker 1: they don't react very well to it. So one thing
43:38
Speaker 1: did is a Dutch change the name from St. Nicholas
43:41
Speaker 1: to uh, where is it again? Oh? Here we go.
43:43
Speaker 1: The figure is Center Class, who would sail from Spain
43:47
Speaker 1: and travel from house to house and the company of
43:49
Speaker 1: Black Pete distributing spice nuts and candies. Two good children.
43:53
Speaker 1: Black Pete was a devil Center Clause had defeated and
43:56
Speaker 1: made to do his bidding, usually depicted by the very
43:59
Speaker 1: Caucasian much as a man in black face. The legend
44:02
Speaker 1: changed in the eighteen fifties, at which point he became
44:05
Speaker 1: a former slave that Santa Claus has freed. Dutch parents
44:09
Speaker 1: threatened their children by saying that if they're good, Black
44:11
Speaker 1: Pete will bring them candy and toys, but if they're bad,
44:14
Speaker 1: he'll stuff them in his double bag and take them
44:16
Speaker 1: back to Spain. The early Dutch settlers but thought brought
44:21
Speaker 1: Oh I'm sorry, yeah, the early Dutch settlers brought Santa
44:24
Speaker 1: Claus back with them to the New World, where his
44:26
Speaker 1: name was changed to Santa Claus and the race of
44:28
Speaker 1: the sidekick was dropped. An eighteen sixty three illustration of
44:31
Speaker 1: Santa Claus by Thomas Nass is generally credited as being
44:34
Speaker 1: the first defining depiction of Santa Claus as the roton
44:37
Speaker 1: jolly figure we know today, and Coca Cola's use of
44:39
Speaker 1: the characters cemented him in the American public consciousness. Now
44:42
Speaker 1: he lives in the North Pole, whereas elves make the
44:44
Speaker 1: toys he delivers too good children every Christmas Eve. The
44:47
Speaker 1: North Pole is the northernmost part of the world and
44:49
Speaker 1: is often written on an envelope which contains a child's
44:52
Speaker 1: wishes for Santa, such which is may include please help
44:56
Speaker 1: my parents get back together, please kill my parents, and
45:01
Speaker 1: gimme guinea guinea bike bike bike. As most cultural traditions
45:07
Speaker 1: brought to America, he was in short order repackages a
45:09
Speaker 1: pitchman and shoved down the throats of every human with
45:11
Speaker 1: two pieces of currency to rub together. All this would
45:14
Speaker 1: be finding good. But so long as Hollywood makes Santa
45:16
Speaker 1: themed entertainment and keeps appearing as a show for numerous
45:18
Speaker 1: consumer goods, Santa refuses to be contained by American boundaries.
45:22
Speaker 1: As his popularity grows and spreads across the globe, Santa
45:25
Speaker 1: Claus is in danger of edging out local Christmas figures,
45:27
Speaker 1: and that's not sitting very well with these locals. A
45:30
Speaker 1: school in Brighton, England, banned depictions of Father Christmas in
45:32
Speaker 1: a red suit, saying that it's smacked of commercialism. A
45:35
Speaker 1: group of check advertising professionals stated started an anti Santa
45:39
Speaker 1: Claus website uh to protest the replacement of its own
45:43
Speaker 1: gift giving figure, UH, pardon my check, genterle Hicks actually
45:52
Speaker 1: oh great, which it translates roughly as Baby Jesus. And
45:56
Speaker 1: in Austria, the christ Child brings gift to Austrian children,
46:00
Speaker 1: and some of the Austrian's mobilized to hand out anti
46:02
Speaker 1: Santa stickers because they didn't want them to to dominate.
46:05
Speaker 1: It seemed like I kind of a hopeless battle, though,
46:07
Speaker 1: because the jolly old Elf is coming to your land
46:09
Speaker 1: whether you like it or not. My next American export
46:12
Speaker 1: is a little harder to tie down than Santa Claus,
46:14
Speaker 1: but even further reaching. I'm speaking, of course, about syphilis.
46:20
Speaker 1: It's very difficult to pinpoint the origin of syphilis. There
46:22
Speaker 1: are no Thomas Nast drawings of the spirituet that causes
46:25
Speaker 1: the disease, nor was it popularized by a soft drink company.
46:30
Speaker 1: It was mostly popularized by the oldest profession in the world. Um. However,
46:34
Speaker 1: medical historians and anti anthropologists have determined that syphilis didn't
46:37
Speaker 1: exist in you Are prior to the discovery of the
46:39
Speaker 1: New World. When examining skeletal remains of pre nineteen fourto Europeans,
46:43
Speaker 1: there's plenty of evidence of other diseases from the same
46:46
Speaker 1: species as syphilis, such as pinta and yawss are such
46:50
Speaker 1: great disease names. He yaws such. It sounds so old timey,
46:55
Speaker 1: but it's also probably very terrifying. But none that both
46:57
Speaker 1: the same end results of syphilis, such as the near
46:59
Speaker 1: destruction in the name a passage and the formation of
47:01
Speaker 1: Carrie's sica. Carrious sica is a deformation of the bone
47:05
Speaker 1: that starts as a depression of the outer layer and
47:08
Speaker 1: sometimes the middle layer. When it heals, it leaves a nodule,
47:11
Speaker 1: resulting in bony protrusion surrounded by depression you. The commonly
47:18
Speaker 1: accepted theories that the venereal syphilis was brought back to
47:20
Speaker 1: Europe by the member by members of Christopher Columbus Crew
47:23
Speaker 1: from the Dominican Republic. They left to find a new
47:26
Speaker 1: route to space, to the new route to uh India,
47:28
Speaker 1: and instead came back with a disease that can result
47:30
Speaker 1: in madness and death. Even though Ulysses S. Grant wanted
47:33
Speaker 1: to annex the Dominican Republic in eighteen seventy one, it
47:36
Speaker 1: was rejected by Congress. It is a sovereign nation in
47:39
Speaker 1: the Caribbean, not part of the United States, and it's
47:42
Speaker 1: a stretch to include it in your little speech about
47:44
Speaker 1: American exp That may be true, Jill, but the United
47:50
Speaker 1: States recognized this Columbus Day as a holiday, and as
47:52
Speaker 1: a result, I think it's fair game. It's a new
47:54
Speaker 1: world export. The first documented cases occurred in four in Naples, Italy,
47:59
Speaker 1: after allowing its invasion by the French. As it was
48:02
Speaker 1: a venarial disease, no one wanted to lay claim to it.
48:04
Speaker 1: It was called the French pox by the Germans and English.
48:07
Speaker 1: The Russians called it the Polish sickness, and the Poles
48:10
Speaker 1: in turn called the German sickness. However, it's spread and
48:15
Speaker 1: infected such notables as composer Franz Schubert, gangster al Capone,
48:18
Speaker 1: philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer, painter Edward Money, and possibly Hitler. So
48:23
Speaker 1: Joe Garden has endured many medical conditions, including appendicitis, model nucleosis,
48:28
Speaker 1: and several nasty flues. He has never contracted syphilis. I
48:33
Speaker 1: had to use this little soapbox to advertise that fact.
48:36
Speaker 1: By the way, so this leads us to our next
48:40
Speaker 1: to our next export, the raccoon. I know it's sort
48:45
Speaker 1: of a weird uh. You don't think of the raccoons
48:48
Speaker 1: as anything is, Like, you know, if you see them
48:49
Speaker 1: on television or film, they always just sort of look cute.
48:51
Speaker 1: They're fuzzy, little bandit masks and graggy little paws are
48:54
Speaker 1: kind of adorable. They almos look like they have little
48:56
Speaker 1: black human hands. They're very cute. But anybody's ever shine
49:00
Speaker 1: a flashlight and a rattling, rustling tree at night and
49:03
Speaker 1: seeing their beady little eyes glowering back at you know
49:05
Speaker 1: that there's something more sinister than a Grizzly Adam's sidekick.
49:08
Speaker 1: Within the Life and Time of Grizzly Adams was a
49:12
Speaker 1: television show about a man wrongly accused of murder who
49:15
Speaker 1: ran to the mountains and befriended raccoons, a bear, and
49:18
Speaker 1: the guy who played Uncle Jesse on Dukes of Hazzards.
49:22
Speaker 1: It ran for two seasons in nineteen seventy seven and
49:25
Speaker 1: nineteen seventy eight. It's star Dan Haggerty was arrested for
49:28
Speaker 1: selling cocaine Indigenous in North America, raccoons can go to
49:35
Speaker 1: the size of a small dog. In two thousand six,
49:37
Speaker 1: they accounted from nearly thirty eight percent of rabies cases
49:40
Speaker 1: reported in the United States, edging out bats and skunks.
49:43
Speaker 1: They made themselves at home in rural and urban environments
49:46
Speaker 1: and are not terribly deterred by the presence of humans.
49:48
Speaker 1: A cursory research of raccoon plus cat door on YouTube
49:52
Speaker 1: will send you down a rabbit hole of terrifying videos
49:54
Speaker 1: featuring them entering homes to try to steal food. YouTube
49:59
Speaker 1: is a video share website in which users upload their
50:02
Speaker 1: own videos to that others may watch right and comment
50:06
Speaker 1: on them. This joke is originally by Josh Clark and
50:09
Speaker 1: a previous stuff You Should Know podcasts. Yes, raccoons are jerks,
50:16
Speaker 1: but did you also know they have a Nazi connection?
50:20
Speaker 1: You should know what Nazis are. It's true. Uh. In
50:25
Speaker 1: nineteen thirty four, a German animal breeder approach to the
50:28
Speaker 1: Rich Forestry Office then headed by Herman Gearing with a
50:31
Speaker 1: plan to breathe the raccoon in order to enrich the
50:34
Speaker 1: local fauna. The rationalbums that they would be popular game
50:37
Speaker 1: for hunters and their pelts. The pelts could be put
50:40
Speaker 1: to good us. But they didn't count on was that
50:44
Speaker 1: the credit the crafty credits powers of exponential Reproduction. It
50:50
Speaker 1: looks so good on paper, that phrase, and say it
50:52
Speaker 1: the crafty credits powers of exponential reproduction. Thank you. Uh. Now,
50:56
Speaker 1: there between a hundred thousand and a million raccoons in
50:59
Speaker 1: German and they haven't stopped there. They spread all over
51:02
Speaker 1: the continental Europe and have even crossed the Channel through
51:04
Speaker 1: the channel and invaded England. Game over. Now, after those three,
51:09
Speaker 1: I would like to end on a we're running pretty long, actually,
51:12
Speaker 1: so I apologize for that. Are you do you need
51:16
Speaker 1: some water? Okay? Uh, I can get sick later. But
51:22
Speaker 1: he was, oh, never mind. Uh So anyway, I like
51:26
Speaker 1: not a high note hip hop. Uh. In my lifetime,
51:29
Speaker 1: there's been no cultural movement that it spread as far
51:31
Speaker 1: and as fast as hip hop. In fact, because it's
51:34
Speaker 1: instill an art form in motion and because I'm running very,
51:36
Speaker 1: very long, hip hop is going to get the short
51:38
Speaker 1: shrift as usual. Um began at parties in the Bronx
51:42
Speaker 1: in the early nineteen seventies. DJ Or, Jamaican born DJ
51:45
Speaker 1: cool Hirk is considered the father of hip hop for
51:47
Speaker 1: introducing the concept of wrapping over music and break beats.
51:51
Speaker 1: Breakbeats are the funkiest instrumental parts of a song that
51:54
Speaker 1: are best suited for dancing at. DJ would isolate the
51:57
Speaker 1: break beat on two different turntables to create a party
52:00
Speaker 1: that can't stop. Won't stop a hip hop hip into
52:03
Speaker 1: the hip to the hip hip hop and you don't
52:05
Speaker 1: stop rocking? Uh, And we've sold out of the Bronx
52:12
Speaker 1: and broke big when the song Rappers Delight In charted
52:14
Speaker 1: on the Billboard one nineteen seventy nine. Since then, it's
52:17
Speaker 1: been an unstoppable musical jugunat, dominating the American charts and
52:20
Speaker 1: consciousness and moving outward. Hip hop has established itself in
52:23
Speaker 1: the UK, France, Germany, South Africa, Tanzania, Japan and Anesia, Argentina, Russia,
52:28
Speaker 1: Poland and so on and so on. For more information,
52:32
Speaker 1: please consult your local library. Thank you all very much.
52:36
Speaker 1: You are wonderful and lovely audience. So that's the end
52:40
Speaker 1: of part one. Yes, and I don't even know where
52:43
Speaker 1: we've cut this yet. Maybe it's a cliffhanger, or maybe
52:46
Speaker 1: it was just between segments. I'm thinking it's not a cliffhanger.
52:50
Speaker 1: Probably not. We'll see what happened to America. That could
52:53
Speaker 1: be good. It's a great cliffhanger. Yeah. Um, so that,
52:57
Speaker 1: like you said, it's the end of part one. Uh,
52:59
Speaker 1: join us and what Thursday? Yeah? Okay for the for
53:03
Speaker 1: part two? Yes, coming up next in two days or
53:07
Speaker 1: if you've downloaded both of them on Thursday right now,
53:15
Speaker 1: be sure to check out our new video podcast, Stuff
53:17
Speaker 1: from the Future. Join houst Work staff as we explore
53:20
Speaker 1: the most promising and perplexing possibilities of tomorrow, brought to
53:27
Speaker 1: you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera. It's ready,
53:30
Speaker 1: are you