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How does using the Emotional Guidance Scale make you happy? · Rock My Finances

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  Speaker 1: Unless specifically indicated otherwise. The content expressed or my views only,
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  Speaker 1: and not necessarily those of Life Co Asset Management LLC.
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  Speaker 1: The content presented is in no way in investment advice, solicitation,
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  Speaker 1: or an offer to sell securities or investment advisory services.
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  Speaker 1: The material is provided for general information and educational purposes
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  Speaker 1: based upon publicly available information from sources believed to be reliable.
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  Speaker 1: I cannot assure the accuracy or completeness of these materials.
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  Speaker 1: As such, the information in these materials may change at
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  Speaker 1: any time without notice. Reference to these discussions about eels
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  Speaker 2: Welcome to the Rock, my Finances show on k for
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  Speaker 2: HD radio and Talk for TV, where we put the
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  Speaker 2: fund in finance joint Powerhouse Jeffer Jos CDFA CMC and
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  Speaker 2: Private Wealth Advisor, as she collaborates with you to create clarity,
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  Speaker 2: control and confidence with your money, your way. It's not
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  Speaker 2: about the zeros, So what is it all about? Let's
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  Speaker 2: find out. Now, here's your host and weekly friend, Jennifer jos.
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  Speaker 1: Hey there, welcome to Rock My Finances podcast and radio
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  Speaker 1: show and TV show. Actually, this is a safe place
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  Speaker 1: for women to think, feel, act anything that has to
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  Speaker 1: do with money or dollar science. And so since the
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  Speaker 1: traditional world of finance is from the masculine brain and
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  Speaker 1: it's really men that created this that are speaking to men,
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  Speaker 1: we decided we need to have a place to be
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  Speaker 1: for women to think and talk and act and show
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  Speaker 1: what we do around money and finances and why it's
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  Speaker 1: so different. So today I am joined by my very
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  Speaker 1: very good friend, Miss Denise Carbone. She is the CEO,
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  Speaker 1: founder and owner operator Everything of Special Advantage. She is
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  Speaker 1: a goddess and a guru it comes to the special
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  Speaker 1: needs community. Denise, welcome, Welcome, thank you, thank you.
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  Speaker 3: I am so excited to be here and totally geek
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  Speaker 3: out on our topic today.
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  Speaker 1: And what is our topic today, miss.
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  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
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  Speaker 3: Our topic today kind of is like part two of
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  Speaker 3: the last time we were together talking about law of attraction,
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  Speaker 3: and we wanted to go a little deeper into supporting
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  Speaker 3: people on how to get out of those negative emotional states.
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  Speaker 4: The crunchy emotional states. So I believe, if memory serves.
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  Speaker 3: Me, our topic is the emotional guidance scale and what
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  Speaker 3: to do when we are heading upstream versus down the stream?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it. Upstream is when you're climbing up
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  Speaker 1: the hill and going against the current instead of just
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  Speaker 1: being in the flow. We love to be in the flow, right,
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  Speaker 1: and not in the flow, we get crunchy and irritable.
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  Speaker 1: Now here's the trip instead of lying right, so letting
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  Speaker 1: it go. And the thing is, our society teaches us
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  Speaker 1: to go upstream, no gain without pain, for fake it
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  Speaker 1: till you make it. Suffer through that. So everything that
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  Speaker 1: we've always learned is absolutely opposite than what we're going
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  Speaker 1: to talk about today. Right, I love it, thank God? Right, Okay,
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  Speaker 1: So Denise and I geek out with law of attraction
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  Speaker 1: in Abraham Hicks and all that. So look at the
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  Speaker 1: other podcast that talks about Abraham Hicks as well, because
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  Speaker 1: we believe that this is the foundation that we have
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  Speaker 1: to create the life of wealth and desire and joy
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  Speaker 1: and happiness. You can be in any place in your
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  Speaker 1: life and still not feel completely fulfilled. And so we
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  Speaker 1: always want to talk about what are we attracting in
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  Speaker 1: our life. Yes, yay.
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  Speaker 4: You believe that.
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  Speaker 3: You and I are so aligned in this and we
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  Speaker 3: don't always agree on stuff, which is totally normal with friendships,
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  Speaker 3: right or family members or whatever. But we are aligned
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  Speaker 3: that we can create our own reality and we can
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  Speaker 3: really do be or have what we.
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  Speaker 4: Want to achieve.
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  Speaker 3: It's usually just our own mindset or ourselves that are
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  Speaker 3: getting in the way keeping us from getting to where
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  Speaker 3: we want to be.
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  Speaker 1: Right. I love it. I love it. I had a
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  Speaker 1: teacher tell me this in nineteen ninety four, and it
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  Speaker 1: was actually right after I lost my kids, and I
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  Speaker 1: was like, oh no, no, no, no, you do not
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  Speaker 1: create your reality. Go to hell. I would have never
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  Speaker 1: created this reality of course, not right right, And so
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  Speaker 1: she's like, just skip that law, that university line. Let's
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  Speaker 1: just skip that law and have you keep going there,
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  Speaker 1: you go, I can do that. I'm going to pretend
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  Speaker 1: like that law is not going to be on the
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  Speaker 1: table right now, and I'll do the other laws.
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  Speaker 4: Right, I'll go with law of gravity, but listen to
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  Speaker 4: that one.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, not even thinking that I can create any
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  Speaker 1: of that. I mean, people even say, you know, well,
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  Speaker 1: how would kids create cancer? And how at all that
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  Speaker 1: and so we absolutely understand that it is more to
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  Speaker 1: it than just us. Yeah, it's more to it than
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  Speaker 1: just our brain. Right. We come to it in a
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  Speaker 1: womb from a human giving us energy. We grew up
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  Speaker 1: in a childhood. That's a great question. What what was
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  Speaker 1: your theme around money growing up?
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  Speaker 4: Really?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, asking you, I don't remember your family growing up
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  Speaker 1: around money. Did you guys have a theme in your household? Oh? There,
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  Speaker 1: she's frozen again. Oh I'm so sorry for some reason,
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  Speaker 1: I'm sorry you were frozen. Sorry say that again.
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  Speaker 4: I missed your question.
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  Speaker 1: What was your theme around money in your household growing up?
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  Speaker 3: Mmmm?
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  Speaker 4: Growing up? It was money does not grow on trees
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  Speaker 4: was a big one.
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  Speaker 3: There was a lot. It's you have to work hard
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  Speaker 3: to earn your money. Was a belief that I inherited,
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  Speaker 3: and then my dad's We joke about it now, but
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  Speaker 3: my dad used to move from room to room and
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  Speaker 3: if we left the lights on, he would say, very loudly,
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  Speaker 3: what do you think I work for PGNI, meaning you
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  Speaker 3: got to shut the light off so we could reserve
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  Speaker 3: some money and save a little money and have the
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  Speaker 3: things that we want and not waste it.
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  Speaker 4: So it was very, very, very very different from how
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  Speaker 4: I feel now.
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  Speaker 1: I love it. And mine was work hard, make money,
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  Speaker 1: and we owned a business. They never took a vacation.
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  Speaker 1: It was seven days a week through and I sixty
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  Speaker 1: five days a year. I mean, I didn't know what
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  Speaker 1: any of that was throughout my whole life, right, and
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  Speaker 1: and that's what I did. And being a single mom,
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  Speaker 1: step you know, what's what comes first, the chicken or
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  Speaker 1: the egg. But I created a world of working hard
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  Speaker 1: making money in finance. You know, I have to show
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  Speaker 1: myself in this man's world of money and be successful
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  Speaker 1: and put food on the table for my children. You know,
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  Speaker 1: business owners were always working hard make money. And then
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  Speaker 1: the year that I said, oh let's go downstream instead
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  Speaker 1: of upstream, doubled my income. So work hard making money
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  Speaker 1: is well, shit, like, we don't. That's not a thing.
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  Speaker 4: Go have fun. Take the vacation.
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  Speaker 3: You know, it's so funny because I didn't think about
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  Speaker 3: it until just right now. It's kind of a little
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  Speaker 3: different shift than money, but it makes sense. I have
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  Speaker 3: been telling my clients right for over thirty years, take
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  Speaker 3: the vacation. You need the vacation, Your children need the vacation.
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  Speaker 3: Get them out of the therapy office and go have
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  Speaker 3: some fun, and inevitably the kids always make more.
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  Speaker 4: Progress when they take the vacation. And so it's the
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  Speaker 4: same kind of thing.
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  Speaker 3: You know, you let go of the work hard aspect
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  Speaker 3: of it, or that you have to do it this way.
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  Speaker 3: You go out there and suddenly change it and you
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  Speaker 3: get lighter. You let go of the oars and you
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  Speaker 3: float downstream and things just flow and improve.
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  Speaker 1: That's awesome. I love it. And when we're in the flow,
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  Speaker 1: things feel sometimes now I'm gonna say they're amazing, And
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  Speaker 1: I love it because I'm in my flow. I know
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  Speaker 1: the decision, I know where to go. I it's easy, pasy,
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  Speaker 1: Like I literally am in the flow when I moved
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  Speaker 1: completely on the other side of the state. I'm in
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  Speaker 1: the flow and I make these huge decisions and I
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  Speaker 1: love that and it's easy, all right. And then sometimes
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  Speaker 1: when we're in the flow a long time, we're like,
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  Speaker 1: where's the other shoe gonna drop? Because we're not used
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  Speaker 1: to being in the flow for so much. Right, have
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  Speaker 1: you ever experienced that?
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  Speaker 3: You know?
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  Speaker 1: I have.
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  Speaker 3: I don't experience that a lot, but I did say
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  Speaker 3: that actually to my last boyfriend Tony. At one point
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  Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, I'm waiting for the other shoe
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  Speaker 3: to drop here.
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  Speaker 4: Because it's like it's too good. It's too good. What's
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  Speaker 4: going to happen?
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  Speaker 1: Man? I think we've all done that at a certain place. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: So on our last podcast we were talking like you
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  Speaker 1: just said, we can have do or create our reality,
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  Speaker 1: and what we put out we get back. Right. So
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  Speaker 1: that's just the basic law right that some people call
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  Speaker 1: it every more of yeah, yeah, every religion calls it
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  Speaker 1: something right, And so when we put something out, it's
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  Speaker 1: going to come back to us. So when you tell
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  Speaker 1: your clients to go on vacation and they relax and
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  Speaker 1: have fun, so of course they're going to experience more
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  Speaker 1: relaxation and more fun. Same with us. Right when we
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  Speaker 1: wake up every day and say, okay, what's going to
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  Speaker 1: bring me joy? Right now? Yes, I have to follow
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  Speaker 1: my calendar? However, what's going to bring me joy in
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  Speaker 1: between that? As Peterland says, where's the space in between?
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  Speaker 1: Find the space between the rain drafts? Which I totally
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  Speaker 1: love right right, And we need to slow down to
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  Speaker 1: be able to do that. So how do we find
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  Speaker 1: the joy and stay in it? So what would be
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  Speaker 1: like maybe your morning routine, Denise, that gets you started
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  Speaker 1: in the morning.
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  Speaker 3: Well, I usually the first thing I do when I
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  Speaker 3: wake up is, you know, my go to phrase is
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  Speaker 3: my day my way.
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  Speaker 1: Ooh, that's good.
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  Speaker 3: That's me up for the tone, and it reminds me
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  Speaker 3: that I get to choose how this day.
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  Speaker 4: Is going to go.
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  Speaker 3: Right.
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  Speaker 4: I've I've just slept.
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  Speaker 3: However many hours I slept, you know, sometimes it's shorter
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  Speaker 3: than others.
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  Speaker 1: But and I quieted my mind.
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  Speaker 3: I stopped thinking about all the crunchy, crappy stuff that
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  Speaker 3: might have happened or carried over from yesterday or earlier
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  Speaker 3: in the week or whatever. So today it's like the
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  Speaker 3: reset button my day, my way, and I think about, well.
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  Speaker 4: Well, what do I want today to be?
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  Speaker 1: Like?
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  Speaker 3: Maybe said an intention or a word. And that's usually
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  Speaker 3: kind of how I wake up. And then, as you know,
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  Speaker 3: I do start off with an Abraham Hicks YouTube video
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  Speaker 3: or three. As I do tend to gravitate towards those,
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  Speaker 3: and then I do my meditation practice.
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  Speaker 4: I do have a very solid.
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  Speaker 3: Morning ritual, morning routine. I take a lot of time
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  Speaker 3: in the morning just to give myself an opportunity to
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  Speaker 3: feed my brain, my body and my soul, my spiritual
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  Speaker 3: my spirituality, and so it involves different.
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  Speaker 4: Things different days.
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  Speaker 3: But usually there's some kind of prayer, meditation, gratitude practice,
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  Speaker 3: there's movement, there's setting intentions and just feeding my brain
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  Speaker 3: with something new.
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  Speaker 1: When you say a lot of time, Denise, how much
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  Speaker 1: time do you allow for that?
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  Speaker 3: I give myself a full hour and a half, Holy shit, yeah,
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  Speaker 3: a lot I do. I wake up at six and
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  Speaker 3: by seven point thirty that's when I am starting breakfast.
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  Speaker 4: At eight o'clock, I'm in the shower.
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  Speaker 1: And I can tell you right now, there's many entrepreneur
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  Speaker 1: ladies listening out there right now going to oh yeah,
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  Speaker 1: hour and a half of extra time to do me.
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  Speaker 1: They do not have it. Well, neither do busy moms,
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  Speaker 1: right exactly. Your clients definitely do not have it.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, some of them now do because they understand
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  Speaker 3: the importance of actually carving time for themselves. Like I
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  Speaker 3: have one mom that was on my in my membership
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  Speaker 3: group this week that was saying I'm first, which is
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  Speaker 3: a total mind shift for her, rather than putting her
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  Speaker 3: son first. She's like, I come first, because if I'm
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  Speaker 3: not whole, I'm no good to him, which is exactly true.
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  Speaker 3: So for busy entrepreneurs or busy moms or parents, I
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  Speaker 3: would say, carve out what works best for you. Maybe
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  Speaker 3: it's fifteen minutes, maybe it's five minutes. I certainly didn't
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  Speaker 3: start with an hour and a half. That's like what
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  Speaker 3: I gifted to myself over time. But you know, six
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  Speaker 3: years ago I was lucky to have four minutes.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally get that. I love that. Okay, So
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  Speaker 1: now we start out the day, I'd probably say I'm
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  Speaker 1: about forty minutes on average. That's good. My meditation is
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  Speaker 1: about twenty, and then a couple other nicety things that
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  Speaker 1: I love to do that does not include my walking
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  Speaker 1: or my exercise. That's separate because you do that later, right,
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  Speaker 1: do that later? Yeah? Yeah, I choose to do mine
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  Speaker 1: in the morning or it doesn't get done. Yeah, minds
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  Speaker 1: of the morning. It's just it varies because I have
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  Speaker 1: East Coast clients, so sometimes I do need to get
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  Speaker 1: on quicker than normal, so then I'll walk later. So yeah,
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  Speaker 1: that's what we love about being on entrepreneurs right, Like
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  Speaker 1: we can change, it can be different. You get to pick,
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  Speaker 1: like you said, create your own reality. Yep. Yeah, so
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  Speaker 1: I love creating that own reality. I used to get
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  Speaker 1: straight up and do the exercise, and now I'm taking
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  Speaker 1: that extra hour to sleep. So I've always been a
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  Speaker 1: seven hour sleeper, and my nutritious amazing Doctor Tracy shared
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  Speaker 1: that I need to have that extra hour of rem
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  Speaker 1: sleep or deep sleep or whatever to get rid of
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  Speaker 1: the fat cortisol on my little Tommy Tommy. So when
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  Speaker 1: I wake up after my seven hours and I feel amazing,
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  Speaker 1: I'm making myself stay in bed an extra hour. So
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  Speaker 1: that's why my morning routine. Actually, that's part of my
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  Speaker 1: morning routine now to relax and stay in bed an
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  Speaker 1: extra hour. And it is working. My stomach is flattening
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  Speaker 1: and I'm still I don't know what I was doing
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  Speaker 1: with that extra hour, but it's sleeping now. Because it's fine.
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  Speaker 1: I still go to bed at the same time. It's hilarious.
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  Speaker 1: Good for you to you, that's good. So we all,
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  Speaker 1: you know, we get to create our reality, change it
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  Speaker 1: as we go and see what fits bets pressed. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: so you have an amazing morning routine. I love that.
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  Speaker 1: And then when I started the practice of law attraction,
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  Speaker 1: I had to set an alarm on my phone to
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  Speaker 1: breathe I first set an alarm three times a day
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  Speaker 1: to take three deep breaths, and then I did it
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  Speaker 1: every hour. Now it's just part of my routine that
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  Speaker 1: I'm always looking at. Oh is that bringing me joy?
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  Speaker 1: Does that bring me joy? Does that bring me joy?
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  Speaker 1: Like I moved my office out into my living room
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  Speaker 1: because there was a leak. But now I'm looking at
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  Speaker 1: a beautiful tree. Right now, I'm looking at the sunlight,
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  Speaker 1: and it brings me so much joy. So I'm staying here.
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  Speaker 1: It's not the cutest thing when you walk in my house,
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  Speaker 1: but I love it.
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  Speaker 4: I love it.
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  Speaker 1: So tell me how do you maybe stay in it
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  Speaker 1: or maybe even recapture it, like after lunch or something.
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  Speaker 1: What is a technique that you might use to get
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  Speaker 1: back to that joyous flow feeling? Oh? There she is. Okay.
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  Speaker 3: I'm hating the fact that the internet is wonky, and
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  Speaker 3: I have connected to the ethernet on purpose. This is
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  Speaker 3: why I'm on my laptop today instead of my usual
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  Speaker 3: setup for podcasting with you, because I'm trying it out
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  Speaker 3: the way that you guys suggest. Yeah, or hard to
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  Speaker 3: go back to over there in a minute, but we'll see.
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  Speaker 3: So your question was you were talking about joy, and.
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  Speaker 4: How is it? How do we stay?
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  Speaker 1: How do you find it? Like later on in the day,
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  Speaker 1: Let's say you know you've got a great morning routine,
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  Speaker 1: but then lunch comes up, or a client comes up,
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  Speaker 1: or something crunchy comes up, how do you get back
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  Speaker 1: to it?
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  Speaker 3: So a great question. Oh my god, so many different
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  Speaker 3: ways for me. Stuff comes up all day long, right,
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  Speaker 3: Things come up all day long.
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  Speaker 1: Oh you mean your life's not perfect? And ease? What
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  Speaker 1: the hell?
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  Speaker 3: Oh no, If anybody if I gave the impression that
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  Speaker 3: my life is perfect, I am so sorry because I
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  Speaker 3: am human and things come up. Things came up just
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  Speaker 3: before this, right, So I absolutely look at things moment
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  Speaker 3: by moment, right and decide is this something worth caring
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  Speaker 3: with me?
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  Speaker 4: Or is this something I don't let go of?
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  Speaker 3: And for the work that I do, I choose to
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  Speaker 3: let go of a lot of stuff because it doesn't
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  Speaker 3: help me be in the present moment, like right now,
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  Speaker 3: Like stuff happened right before this, but I wanted to
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  Speaker 3: be here with you for this podcast, and so I can.
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  Speaker 4: I can process and deal with whatever.
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  Speaker 3: Happened prior later, but right now it's absolutely not gonna
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  Speaker 3: not gonna serve me or serve any listeners.
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  Speaker 4: For example, if if I'm not right here with you.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, for sure. So I like what you
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  Speaker 1: said about moment to moment, I'm a good self.
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  Speaker 3: That's one thing, like scalettle what he's telling me to
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  Speaker 3: do so we can come okay, good.
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  Speaker 4: But the other thing too.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, we're here because we wanted to talk about
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  Speaker 3: this scale, right, and I do use it. It's something
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna show you, and I i'll i'll describe it
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: for the people who are listening.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Okay, so we're going to show you the emotional yet idea.
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: The one that's going to show us yet. But I
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: kept in my wallet.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: Oh that's hilarious.
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: No, from twenty seventeen, when I first learned about it.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: This is the piece of paper with the Emotional Guidance
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: scale on it.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, this piece of paper has gone through hell and back. Girl.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: It is it is like literally looks like it has
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: gone through the wash, although it has not.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: It's just because.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: I've pulled it out so many times every day, multiple
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: times a day. When I was first learning this to go, Okay,
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: I'm feeling something and it's not joy.
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: What the hell am I feeling?
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: I need to wait. You just hit on something. You
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: just hit on something so big I did. Yeah. Oh,
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: we have to know what we're feeling to do any
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: of this. Yeah, and anything with your money, yeah, and
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: anything with your parenting yep, and anything with any of
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: ours our world's here, ye about the the.
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: F word exactly.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: We have to know what we're feeling first. So for
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: you to bring up the emotional scale, anybody can google
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: it anywhere. We're going to share it as well. But
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: she has a print out from years ago that she
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: carried around with our I love it, Denise and my
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: kids and I did this with my kids growing up,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Journey and Parker.
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: But it's the one that we're going to show you today.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Well, okay, awesome one, but awesome and so we did
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: this all the time. Is we called it I messages
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: way back when? Right? How do you feel? So I
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: feel mad that you took my comb or whatever. I
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: feel angry that you know you won't let me go first?
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: What like little little kids like all all the way
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: so they they my family all laughed at me. Your
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: kids are like ridiculous with their feelings. But we taught
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: them feelings all the way from the beginning, and I
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: forget that our age was not taught that, so we
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: have to go back and learn what we're feeling.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: So that's like four thousand words to describe our feelings,
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: and the majority of people walking the planet use under
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: one hundred.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Like we're like ten. Yeah, I don't even know one hundred.
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: I mean mad, sad, happy, you know, there's like eighty,
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: there's not a lot, but.
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: There's so many different ranges because because angry could.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: Be miffed, pissed, you know, it's furious, right, there's many
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: many different ranges of angry, for example. And I think
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: that for me, that was the very first part of
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: this was I really wasn't coming from a family like
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: yours where I was taught to talk about my feelings.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: My mom and I talked about feelings, but it wasn't
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: something that we openly discussed as a family or even
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: with people in my world. And so just identifying being
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: able to identify my own feelings was really helpful for me,
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: because you can't go anywhere, you can't go up in
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: the emotional scale to a better feeling thought unless you
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: first identify where you are. And honestly, I didn't even
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: recognize that. For example, depression or sadness is one state, right,
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: I mean everybody knows about that, but like that, anger
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: is a state above that, getting you out of depression.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: And so you know, in my household, it's like angry.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: Being angry was something that you wanted to squash. So
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: don't you know, don't be angry, Like you got to
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: get out of that really fast. And so if you're
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: sad and you're told to get out of anger, you
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: go right back to set.
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: You don't go up until you're capable enough to.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: Process your emotions and then you know, anyway, we could
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: talk about this stuff deeper, because I think it's worth No,
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: that was really really good, Like I was in clients
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: this stuff and.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that was really good. So our society accepts
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: anger more than depression, sadness, pity, or despair. Right, So
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: we and as a human being, we accept anger easier
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: because we're in action around anger. But below anger is
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: despair and depression and sadness. Our society is not that
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: great with that. We'd much rather you be in anger.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: And then as little girls growing up, you're not supposed
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: to be mad, no, and you're not supposed to talk
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: until children are not seen until or spoken to, or
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: whatever children are seeing but not heard. There you go.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: That's why I was putting the two together. The other
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: one I grew up with. Yes, children's seen, not heard,
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: and you're only you only speak when you're spoken to,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: was mine. So when we are mad about something and
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: we're told not to feel our feelings or share our feelings,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: then we don't get to go up the scale. We
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: go down the scale to sadness, our depression, and so
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: no wonder why we get so frustrated because we don't
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: even know how we feel, and then once we do,
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: we don't know how to express it or get it
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: out of our body.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: Right, and it can get stored and become body pain
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: or you know, illness, cancer, I mean all kinds of.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Horrible divorce, r addiction, addiction, compulsion.
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: Ending, compulver eating, overeating right, fill in the blank.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: Here, over sexing, sleeping around right right, And we're joking
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: about this stuff, but the reality is this is a
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: lot of people's world, right, this is what they are.
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: And then throw in shame our embarrassment. You know, got
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: a cook.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: And all that's under there too. So I was over
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: busy my compulsion or whatever you call it, was to
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: stay busy so that I did not have to feel
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: space between the rain drops. Because I didn't have space,
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: I just kept going, got it wow. That way I
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: could run from the feelings almost and it did work
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: for a long time. And all that did was all
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: gather up into a great, big ass mess and then
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: hit y'all at once. Not the smart thing to do.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: So in order to feel our feelings, to know what
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: we're feeling, slow down? Is there any other way besides
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: just slow down and give it a minute to actually
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: think or feel something.
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: I think that's a big part of the process because
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: oftentimes I hear and I've been guilty of this too,
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: of how you want to shift it and move out
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: of it, right, But there's a lot of wisdom in
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: just slowing down and feeling it, to healing it and
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: just staying in it for a moment. Right.
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: So, if I'm an anger, for example.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: Maybe there's a really good reason for me to be angry,
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: and maybe I can sit with it for a moment
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: and experience the anger instead of like, oh my god,
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: this is anger and I shouldn't be an anger and
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: I need to get out of anger, and I don't
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: want to go back down into sadness, so I better
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: figure out what's next. Okay, rage, I can go into rage,
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: but that's really scary. So you know, like, rather than
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: all that, just okay, what's pissing me off? You know
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: what's behind this, and just allowing some space to figure
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: out what it is that I'm angry about?
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: Is it about?
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: What?
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: What is it in myself that's triggering this anger?
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: Because it might be Yeah, that person that's in front
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: of me, I could easily blame that.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but why are you so mad about it? Exactly?
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: I love that the triggering. Rather I just talk when
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: you're when you freeze, I just talk, So go ahead.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: To figure out what you're where you're at.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: So right, sorry, we gotta love technology. Gotta love technology.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: So you just said something good as well. I want
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: to make sure that we touch base on that is.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: I feel like our visualization or the Secret the Moon
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: the movie came out like you know, which is great
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: because it's all about law of attraction, But we're also
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: rushing to visualize the great thing and to feel the
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: great thing. When actuality, we cannot go from despair to joy.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: Heyll no, you just can't go straight there. And so
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: then what do we do as women, especially as we
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: feel shamed because we can't get out of it. So
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: then that just digs us in our depression deeper. And
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: so forget the raw ra. I don't know what you
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: want to call it, because I'm part of that community,
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: which I love, the self improvement and community right, and
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: are diagnosing ourselves right, we love all of that, good
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: old Tony Robbins. Gotta love us some Tony Robbins. And
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: at the same time, we have to have space to
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: feel what we're feeling so that we don't have to
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: keep doing the same thing over and over again. And
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: then I want to add one more thing to that.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Get help, reach out, get a friend, find a friend,
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: find a mentor get a coach. Sometimes we don't want
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: to slow down and feel those feelings by ourselves because
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: it's really scary and that's okay, right, that's okay. Like
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: I literally will reach out to Denise and say, okay,
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: bad day, so she's on queue of this is a
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: bad day, and then it's like, okay, do you need
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: me to be your bucket to to give me all
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: your crap or right? Or do you want me to
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: send you love? Like? What do you need? What do
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: you Sometimes it is that you need to just verbalize
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: it and get it all out. And sometimes, which I
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: just did, was that last week. I think I just
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: did it like a week ago, and I was like,
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: and then she texts me today something about it, and
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I forgot all about that because I
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: got it all out. Yeah. Right now. She's smart about
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: putting her bubble around her so that my stuff doesn't
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: go on to her. So that's another not bring this
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: to another thing when we're with someone else. How do
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: we keep someone else's feelings to not attaching to us?
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: Yes, oh that's so important.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to do that one.
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: Yes, you do, and I remind you you can. You
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: actually do it very well all And sometimes you're human
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: and you forget right like we all are, because it's
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: it is it's a muscle. I think of it like
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: it's a muscle. We need to learn to stretch. And
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: I'm working on it too, right, I'm I'm I've My
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: lesson in my life has been to learn to use my.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: Her voice, y'all. And it cut out right when she
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: was supposed to say her voice, that's freaking hilarious.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: Voice and miss out yes, my voice, and when it
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: pauses at that dramatic moment, I can come back.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Right.
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: So when someone's really like as a coach, if it's
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: my client, I absolutely one hundred percent know how to
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: pop them out of their problem problem box.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to let a client of mine stay
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: stuck and just vent and vent and vent invent in
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: their problem, problem problem. That's not going to serve them, right,
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: So I know I know tools to help them. If
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: it's a friend, I'm going to be eat a little
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: bit more.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: Hmm.
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: I think about it. All of a sudden, it popped
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: in my head. It's like fly fishing, you know, like
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna let I'm gonna.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: Hold the bucket for you.
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna let you vent and spew as much stuff
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: as you want to. And if it's if I feel
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: like it's being pushed on me, I might then hold
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: my own boundary to say I need to take a break,
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: or I need to take a breather, or I'll be
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: right back. I need to take a bio break, for example,
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: or something's where I can kind of clear my own
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: space and recognize, Okay, this is you know, I'm not
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: like Velcrow. I don't want this to stick to me.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: This is not my shit. This is her shit or
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: his shit. Sorry for the s bombs, but that's how
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: it feels in the moment, right Like, I'm like, this
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: is not my stuff. And I love you, whether it's you, Jennifer,
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: or some other friend, your family member, or client, and
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: I love them.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: Enough to still stay there.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: But I have to be at my.
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: Highest best self and above that, like I have to
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: be tapped into my source, my God, my.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Her angels, and all her people. For sure, I do
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: the same thing. I'm definitely not here by myself.
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: No you're not.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: I'm always here with you.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: So I can't be helping you or anyone else in
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: my world if I'm in your problem with you, if
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: I'm in the problem box with you, because then we're
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: two people in the problem and we're just.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: I know, that's all. And he did that, and she
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: said this, and so that's a great point. We're going
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: to reiterate right now because that is awesome. So since
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: we believe in law of attraction, I mean, that's happening
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: regardless if you believe in it or not. Just like gravity. However,
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: since we focus on that daily and we make this
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: a daily practice, what we put out we get back.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: And so when somebody is just always negative and always
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: bringing up something, that's going to talk about the not
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: good thing of it, or the bad thing of it,
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: or the negative thing of it or anything. Instead of
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: bringing up the positive thing, that bring up the negative thing.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: That's very different than what I'm talking about. So I
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: will absolutely cut someone off if they're going down the
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: train of the rolling down the hill momentum of just
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: all negative nancy. Yeah, just spiraling down, down down. None
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: of that does any good for anyone. No, So sitting
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: there and feeling it yourself is very different than sharing
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: it with someone else. However, if it's someone that does
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: this all the time, that this is their pattern, then
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: we are no one can serve them by let them
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: continue with that pattern. That's all they do. I think
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: I called a niece maybe twice a year and flip out.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: So that's not like an all the time thing, not
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: at all that right, that's a once in a situation
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: that I need to be talked off the ledge.
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: Or five moment that you're like, oh, I'm in step five.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, gotta love it, gotta love it. Why am I
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: doing this? And let's get back to it, and actually
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: even kind of liking the crunchiness part of it today.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: I had some crunchy stuff too, and I'm like, Okay,
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: this is gonna be really cool when it's gone, like
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: because I already know, right, So two different things. If
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: someone is critically chronically addicted to negativity and complaining and
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: finding the worst, that is not what we're talking about here.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: That is exhausting and it doesn't help anyone to go
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: in that person's story with them and masturbate negativity bullshit.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: So cut that out right now. We're not even aware
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: of right, Like I have clients that are.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: It's it's their habit, it's their old programming from childhood.
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: That's all they know because they didn't they.
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: Weren't raised in a different environment, or they didn't seek
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: out like we've done the work, right, they haven't done
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: the work yet, or they're doing the work now.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: And they're not even aware of it. Like you said,
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: So I have I have a friend who is always
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: upbeat and happy while she's saying the negative stuff and
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, I'm not listening to that anymore. Tell
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: me something good about that, even though you're smiling about mismatch, right,
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: and if you're still talking about all the negative stuff,
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: it's still talking about negative stuff, like you can't smile
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: it away. Oh yeah, but I just want you to know.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: I don't want to know. I don't want to know
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: about that, Like that's that. I don't need that in
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: my aura. I don't need that in my buble. I
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: don't need that in my brain, like it just doesn't
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: need to be anywhere near me. So unless, of course,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: you know, we're helping our clients or our friends get
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: to the next level, that's different. Okay, good, So sitting
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: there feeling it, we're going to feel it and then
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: we realize where it's coming from. It's never coming from
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: what you think it is. It's always coming from either
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: a core wound or something that we've got going. For me,
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: my biggest one is a fear of failure. So it all,
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: if I don't look good or if something's not happening right,
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: if it's not perfect, then it's going to lead back
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: to oh I'm not good enough. No no, no, no. So
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: once we take that anger issue and come back to
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: what is it really about? Okay? Yeah, oh it is
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: about that. Yeah, I am good enough. It's all okay.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: So then we kind of get ourselves out of that anger.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: So should we show the emotional share scale now to
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: see how.
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: We I love that, I love that, and then maybe
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: even kind of walk through it.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that'd be great. So if you're at home, thank
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: you on. If you are at home, pull up the
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: Emotional Guidance Scale and you're going to see two spirals.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: One on the left is the upward spiral, one on
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: the down On the right is the downward spiral. And
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: so this is kind of what we were talking about.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: We can't just go from despair to joy, right, we
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: have to go up this spiral. Go ahead, Denise, tell
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: me what you love about this scale.
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: What I love about this particular scale and this visual
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: is that it's super easy to read and it's super
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: easy to use. So it doesn't matter if you resonate
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: with the words on this sheet or not, Like, maybe
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: joy isn't your thing, but maybe the word happy is,
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: Or maybe you don't like to think about being depressed
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: because that might be scary to you to label yourself,
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: I'm depressed, but maybe you feel sadness and you resonate
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: with that.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter what the word is.
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: What's more important is kind of like the vibrational level,
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: because we're all vibrational beings and you guys could kind
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: of get a sense of if I asked you what
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: it feels like to feel disempowered, victimized, depressed, stuck in
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: fear or grief.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: That has a certain feel to it.
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: Which is very different than you know, I'm worried about something.
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: I was a little disappointed or overwhelmed a little bit.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: Those are different feelings, right, This is a different vibrational
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: state versus, oh, I'm feeling a little hopeful and optimistic
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: about something or really excited or enthusiastic about something. So
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: the words that we're tossing out here, hopefully you'll get
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: you're getting an idea that it's just a feeling state
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: and it's a vibration in your body that kind of
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: gets attached to that state. And we want you, Jennifer
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: and I love you dearly and we want you to
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: live more on this.
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: Left side the upward spiral.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: The feeling states that are what we tend is a
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: society to think about that are more happy, positive, and
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: content versus what we tend to label the negative emotional states.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: Right, things like frustration.
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: Overwhelment, worry, blame, anger, hatred, jealousy, you know, insecurity, things
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: like that. So this is helpful because it's a very
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: visual way in my mind to label your feelings and
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: then look at Okay, I'm here. I'm not going to
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: be able to go all the way up to joy, happiness, empowerment, freedom, love,
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: appreciation right now, But what can I do to get
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: myself up?
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: One notch up, one state up?
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: And on the sheet if you're seeing this visually, there's
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: between one and twenty two states. So your job for
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: that day or that afternoon, or that week, or whatever
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: it is if you've been in it for a while,
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: maybe for a week, is to move up one notch
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: right or two notches, just so you kind of get
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: the momentum of getting you into better feeling states.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. So I'm gonna just
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: say I'm real quick. Starting from twenty two at the bottom.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: Twenty two is fear, grief, depression, powerlessness, and victim. Twenty
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: one is insecurity, guilt, and unworthiness. Twenty is jealousy. Nineteen
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: is hatred or rage. Eighteen is revenge, seventeen is anger,
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: sixteenth discouragement, fifteen's blame, fourteen's worry, thirteen's doubt, twelve's disappointment.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: Eleven is overwhelmed. Ten is frustration, irritation, or impatience. I'm
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: never that. Nine is pessimism. Eight is boredom. Then we
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: have more of the positive things. Seven is contentment, so
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: if we can at least find contentment, we can go
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: up from there. Six or satisfied or satisfied contentment or satisfied.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Six is hopefulness. Five is optimism. Four is positive, expectation
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: or belief. Three is enthusiasm. To is passion. One is joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, love,
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: and appreciation. So like you were just saying, you can't
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: go from fear, grief, depression number twenty two all the
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: way up to number one, which is joy, we have
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: to go up each wrong. Okay, So I liked how
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: this was. I didn't realize this because I'm not a
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: jealous person. So twenty one is insecurity in guilt, twenty
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: is jealousy, nineteen is hatred and rage. Jealousy is worse
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: than hatred yep, wow, and then we have revenge and
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: then anger, so a lot of us live in I know, right, yeah,
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: that's crazy. And then watch.
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: People go through these stages so quickly because it can
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: help you. I mean, you could actually go from one
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: to you know six above pretty quickly with just a thought,
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: like it could just do one little thought. And the
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: book that this is from Asking It is given, Learning
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: to Manifest your desires is actually really good at kind
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: of taking an example of a woman in grief who
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: just lost her father through these steps to kind of get.
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: Back to where she's feeling joy.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: I love it. So if you love it, Jennifer, and
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: I can give you examples.
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: Or you know, there's like I said, there's a lot
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: of examples out there in the book.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: But that's great. And I love that. Passion is number
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: two because I feel very enthusiasm, which is three, right,
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: I feel very enthusiastic about my day because I'm so
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: passionate about changing women's lives and helping them step into
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: the left side upworld spiral of the joy and optimism
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: because it's so fun. So once we have a passion,
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: then we can get to the joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, love,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: and appreciation.
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: I love it, right.
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: I was going to ask you, Jennifer, where is it
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: that you feel you live most of the days? And granted,
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: like it could be different topics. You know, if you
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: think about one topic, you're, oh, I'm over here. But
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: if I think about most of my day, I'm over here,
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: you know, so it could be. It could be varied,
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: of course, because we all are human. But where would
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: you say you're you're that point.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: Tradition, Yeah, traditionally, that's a great question. I'm gonna say.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: I am four. Sits the positive expectation belief Number four.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: I think I that's my main stay. That's where I
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: pretty much stay. And then when I think about something
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: that I'm gonna do or that's exciting, like right now,
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: I'm very enthusiastic. I'm doing ads and stuff, so that's
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: fine of that, right, And then when we meet with
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: our clients. That's number two is passion always because it
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: is my my total passion. And then when I'm purposely
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: purposefully doing something asking myself, like you said in the morning, right,
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: what brings me joy? Then I'm then I can find
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: like easily my cell phone case brings me joy. I
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: love my cell phone case, my cat weaves me joy
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: Like little simple easy things bring me joy and it
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: makes That's why I have all my clients. You know,
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: everything in your how should bring you joy if not
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: get rid of it. Right, it has energy and it
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: all has thought. Yeah, right now we can go down
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: to that's the anger is number seventeen. You know, I
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: can go to frustration number ten, irritation and impatience. I
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: can go there like that somebody on the hunter number
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: calls me, somebody cuts me off on the freeway. Like,
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: I can get to frustration very very easily. So I'm
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: really happy to see that it's closer to the upper spiral.
• 43:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, right, anger or hatred, I agree, And that's kind
• 43:36
  Speaker 5: of mine too, Like I'm with you there, Like I
• 43:40
  Speaker 5: get frustrated way.
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: More often than I get enraged, right or angry, Like
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: anger is the place that I don't tend to go.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: But I can't get frustrated pretty easily. And you know,
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: I feel like my buttons are pushed or you know,
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: and I mean this.
• 43:56
  Speaker 4: You talked me down the ledge.
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: Last week when I spent three and a half or
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: four hours in home depot trying to buy a flip
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: and refrigerator, like I was frustrated. I'm like, I just
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: want to get out of this stupid store.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, yeah, so we can get I'm glad to
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: see that it's not fully down there though. So now
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: let's talk about like insecurity and guilt and unworthiness. That's
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: number twenty one. That's not a good place to live.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: And then going see jealousy. I just I'm I'm just
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: in the place. Yeah yeah, and then below that the depression,
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: powerlessness victim. So I've experienced trauma and emotional abuse, so
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: I was in that powerlessness victim state and grief and
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: fear and all that, right, And so to get out
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: of that we have to just maybe that's why Denise
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: was saying earlier, maybe just get to anger. Yeah, like
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: it's okay, you don't have to go from that to anything,
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: but just get mad about it maybe, And that's part
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: of grief, right, getting through all of that.
• 44:59
  Speaker 4: Yes, yes, and I've lived there too.
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: I mean to be completely open, like I would say,
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: my my go to negative emotion has been fear or
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: or in a you know, in a past life. And
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: I don't mean that literally, but like in my younger days,
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: I definitely was a victim for sure, and that does
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: not feel good at all.
• 45:24
  Speaker 4: It doesn't feel good at all.
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: Now I would say I still can go to fear,
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: but more often I think, looking at the scale, it's
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: probably more along the lines of worry and doubt, and
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: it might be self doubt as opposed to go to fear.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I'm saying, Like fear for me
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: now is different?
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because you're a grown ass woman now, Denise,
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: you got some stuff.
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: Going and fear for me back then which was losing everything,
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: you know, Yeah, and.
• 45:56
  Speaker 4: I did feel very very powerless.
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think was powerlessness for me was feeling
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: unworthy like I had to go there. And it seems
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: weird to think about it now, but it's a step
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: up being like, you know, I'm the victim. I'm never
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: going to get out of this whole unworthiness was a
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: step up for me thinking and just dwelling on.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: You know, I suck.
• 46:22
  Speaker 4: I'm never going to mount to anything or.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: What am I going to do with my life? You know,
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to turn this around. I did
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: this to myself, right, These are guilt, the guilt feeling
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: like this is my own fault these is based on
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: my choices, Like that's a step up, which you don't
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: think about when you're really low.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh you're really low. You don't think about it.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: But anything's really a step up. And this is where
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: we need to learn not to squash our feelings. So
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: I love that you're showing the scale today, Denise, thank you,
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: because when we feel this insecurity, we feel like we
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: want to squash and we don't. We actually got it,
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: got us out of victimhood exactly, insecure, got us out
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: of being a victim. Now let's get mad. Yes, yes, then,
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 47:12
  Speaker 4: That's like rocket pool and.
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: They see it all the time, Like I have family
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: members right now, not family member, sorry, clients right now
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: that are so pissed at the school district. But there,
• 47:23
  Speaker 3: you know, that's a place to even acknowledge and live
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: in for a little while because they then are at
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: least feeling empowered, right because they're no longer the victim
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: where they can't have any control. They're actually moving forward
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: into it's their fall.
• 47:39
  Speaker 4: I'm pissed at.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: Them exactly exactly. They're into more action to get something.
• 47:48
  Speaker 4: You know, I can't stit.
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: You could just see it you could see them control
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: exactly more action.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that, and then we can keep going up. Right.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: So as long as we see that, I love that scale,
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: I want to use it more as well. So thank you,
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: thank you for having said.
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: I keep it in my wallet and I have to.
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: I have taken it out on occasion that restaurants or whatever,
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: or with friends and like, oh, you're feeling here, and
• 48:14
  Speaker 3: just having a visual sometimes can be helpful because you
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: can tell someone, oh, this is a good place to be,
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: it feels better, but they're not going to believe you.
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: But if you have something tangible, it's like, oh, I
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: see it now.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, that makes total sense to be in whatever
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: state they're in. So where do you live normally?
• 48:33
  Speaker 4: I tend to live in appreciation a lot.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: Where is that on the scale? I did not see that.
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: That's that's I live in my joy and appreciation that's
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: at number one.
• 48:44
  Speaker 4: But I also drop down to.
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: Being excited or you know, passionate about something or even hopeful.
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: I mean, like with dating right now, I'm we're in
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: the hopeful rather and learning to like. I appreciate men,
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: I appreciate all they provide, So I I it's definitely
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: an appreciation, but it's probably more of an expectancy, a
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: hopeful expectancy.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: Yes, love it, I love it live you know all right?
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: You all did? Y'all hear that Denise is in the
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: dating field. If you're seeing this on the current time,
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: thank you all so much. We want you to get
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: the F word. The foundation with your finances literally is
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: how you feel. It's the F word. So check out
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: this emotional scale, keep following us, watch, share, download, tell
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: all your friends check out rock my Finances Denise much love, huh,
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: love you, Thank you bye everyone.
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: We appreciate you joining us today, and don't forget to
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: subscribe to the rock my Finances YouTube channel for more
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: engagement and bonus content. Tell me what is your money story?
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: Let's find out with Jennifer four pm Eastern one pm
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: Pacific every Thursday right here on K four HD Radio
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: and Talk for TV. It's not about the zeros, It's
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: about the F word, feeling feelings. Jennifer can't wait to
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: explore with you next week. Until then, let's all say
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: I rock my Finances.