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The Sacredness of Sex- Minister Max Lucado · Max Lucado Daily Sermons

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  Speaker 1: In all the concerns and needs, wounds and guilt that
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  Speaker 1: you see upon us. But Lord, we have come to
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  Speaker 1: you to ask for your touch to be upon us.
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  Speaker 1: Welcome you, Holy Spirit. O, Holy Spirit, we welcome you.
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  Speaker 1: Forgive our speaker. His sins are many. Help us to
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  Speaker 1: see Christ, just Christ. Through Christ. We pray Amen. So
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  Speaker 1: God's dream for marriage is simple. He begins with two
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  Speaker 1: people of different gender. Let's call them Joe and Flow.
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  Speaker 1: They have much in common, equally cherished by God, joint
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  Speaker 1: heirs of the heavenly blessing, uniformly essential in God's plan.
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  Speaker 1: Yet though similar, they are very starkly different. Joe is
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  Speaker 1: a male by nature. He provides and protects Flow, a female,
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  Speaker 1: excels in nurturing and comforting in God's plan. These two
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  Speaker 1: compliment each other. They attract each other. They compat each other.
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  Speaker 1: Her femininity, her sensitivity, her softness, her shapeliness that widens
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  Speaker 1: the eyes of Joe. His masculinity, his strength, his kindness,
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  Speaker 1: his confidence, his leadership that turns her head. So when
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  Speaker 1: Joe meets Flow and Flow meets Joe, something deep stirs
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  Speaker 1: within the two of them, and they know they'll be
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  Speaker 1: better together than apart, So the two make a covenant
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  Speaker 1: to live with each other and to live for each other.
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  Speaker 1: Flow will have eyes for Joe. She will forget Roe
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  Speaker 1: and Moe and so and so. Joe is her guy,
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  Speaker 1: and Joe resolves identical devotion running to and Fro will
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  Speaker 1: be no mo. He has Flow, he knows where to go.
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  Speaker 1: I thought that was clever. So Joe and Flow covenant
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  Speaker 1: to become one person. And when they do, their Maker smiles.
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  Speaker 1: This was his plan. God made them different, male and female.
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  Speaker 1: He created them, so the gravitational tug between the two
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  Speaker 1: was God inspired. Adam did not drool when he saw
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  Speaker 1: the elephant or the giraffe, but one glimpse of Eve,
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  Speaker 1: and he placed his hand over his rib depleted side,
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  Speaker 1: and he declared, at last, this one is bone from
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  Speaker 1: my bone, and flesh from my flesh. And she will
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  Speaker 1: be called woman because she was taken from man. And
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  Speaker 1: as God brought Adam and Eve together, so he continues
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  Speaker 1: to bring Joe's and Flows together. Therefore, a man leaves
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  Speaker 1: his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become
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  Speaker 1: one flesh, the two of them, man and wife. They
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  Speaker 1: were naked, but they felt no shame. So here's the
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  Speaker 1: blueprint in the early pages of Scripture. This is the pattern,
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  Speaker 1: this is the plan, this is the promise, and this
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  Speaker 1: is the purpose. God envisions a man and woman coming together,
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  Speaker 1: naked but no shame, vulnerable and fearless. They had nothing
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  Speaker 1: from each other physically or emotionally. They enjoy total trust,
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  Speaker 1: and in time they become one flesh. That's how the
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  Speaker 1: text reads. It does not say they became one flesh.
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  Speaker 1: It's not an overnight venture, not even a honey moonnight venture.
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  Speaker 1: But there is a becoming of one flesh as they
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  Speaker 1: continue to grow, and this is fostered spiritually as they
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  Speaker 1: give worship together, emotionally as they give strength to each other,
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  Speaker 1: and sexually as they give their bodies to each other.
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  Speaker 1: Sex is a part of God's plan for a healthy marriage.
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  Speaker 1: Sex is not the secret for a happy home, nor
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  Speaker 1: is sex absent from God's plan for a fortified family.
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  Speaker 1: Sex is a delightful, strategic, and sometimes frustrating element in
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  Speaker 1: God's plan. It was his idea. So if it's true
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  Speaker 1: that the Church doesn't talk much about sex, then we
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  Speaker 1: are the only ones who don't. Can you make it
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  Speaker 1: through a movie, through a novel, through a night of
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  Speaker 1: television watching without sexual suggestions and innuendos. Can you make
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  Speaker 1: it through a day at work without jokes and coarse humor?
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  Speaker 1: So sex deserves our attention because it has commanded the
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  Speaker 1: attention of our society. Even more, sex deserves our attention
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  Speaker 1: because for many people it is a source of confusion, conflict,
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  Speaker 1: and sometimes a source of deep hurt and wound. Doesn't
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  Speaker 1: have to be I'm thinking that there is a verse
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  Speaker 1: in the Book of Hebrews that provides us a simple
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  Speaker 1: strategy from God to make sex sacred and healthy in
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  Speaker 1: our homes. Honor marriage and guard the sacredness of sexual
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  Speaker 1: intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line
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  Speaker 1: against casual and illicit sex. Two lines headline God's plan
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  Speaker 1: for sexual intimacy. First, honor marriage, and then second the
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  Speaker 1: sacredness of sexual intimacy. Honor the plan and protect the privilege.
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  Speaker 1: Two points for an outline. Number one, honor the plan
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  Speaker 1: of marriage. Again the plan. Therefore, a man leaves his
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  Speaker 1: father and mother and he embraces his wife. They become
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  Speaker 1: one flesh, the two of them. The man and his
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  Speaker 1: wife were naked, but they felt no shame, So the
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  Speaker 1: relationship begins with the leaving. A man leaves his father
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  Speaker 1: and mother suggest that a woman would do the same.
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  Speaker 1: They leave behind their formal support system. They disabled the
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  Speaker 1: ejection seat, They burned the bridge to mama's house. They
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  Speaker 1: cut the umbilical cord, and they come together before God,
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  Speaker 1: before others. It's a public declaration. They come together. The
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  Speaker 1: leaving is called dating and courting, getting to know one another,
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  Speaker 1: sharing personality and ideas. But the naked and not ashamed
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  Speaker 1: doesn't come until after the formal covenant or the marriage. Now,
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  Speaker 1: according to God's plan, sexual intimacy is simply not a
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  Speaker 1: part of the dating face. I know the movies tell
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  Speaker 1: you it is. I know every book you read says
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  Speaker 1: it is. I know every locker room chit chat says
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  Speaker 1: it is. But God is pro pre sexual marriage, and
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  Speaker 1: he is against pre marital sex, and there is a
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  Speaker 1: reason for this. My friend Jimmy Evans has been a
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  Speaker 1: marriage and family therapist for thirty five years. His research
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  Speaker 1: led him to write, people who lived together before me
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  Speaker 1: marriage experience more abuse, more infidelity, more breakups, more disappointment,
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  Speaker 1: more problems in every category than people who do not
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  Speaker 1: cohabit before marriage. A couple that lives together before getting
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  Speaker 1: married is fifty percent more likely to divorce after marriage
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  Speaker 1: than the couple who did not. It's easy to understand
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  Speaker 1: why courtship sex stunts healthy relational growth. Courtship sex stunts
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  Speaker 1: healthy relational growth. It shifts the attention away from the
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  Speaker 1: study of the soul and the personality to a fascination
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  Speaker 1: with the body. Necessary friendship creation is neglected. Essential communication
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  Speaker 1: tools go underdeveloped, and most of all, spiritual intimacy takes
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  Speaker 1: a back seat to physical intimacy. The purpose of courting
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  Speaker 1: or dating, even engagement is to come to know each
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  Speaker 1: other's souls, not bodies. Sex rightly positioned after the leaving
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  Speaker 1: and the cleaving then becomes a delightful wedding gift that
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  Speaker 1: can be opened innumerable times in marriage. Here's the setting.
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  Speaker 1: God envisions two children of his make a public covenant.
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  Speaker 1: They leave, They disable the ejection seat, they cleave, They
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  Speaker 1: come together. As we've mentioned before, this is a Hebrew
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  Speaker 1: word for they glue themselves together. It's a super glue.
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  Speaker 1: They come together, and they've publicly declare, before God and
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  Speaker 1: before others, we are each others. They fall into each
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  Speaker 1: other's arms beneath the canopy of God's blessings, surrounded by
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  Speaker 1: the security of the promise of fidelity. Both know both
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  Speaker 1: will be there in the morning. Both know both are
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  Speaker 1: in this thing for the long haul. Both know both
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  Speaker 1: will be there, Lord willing, even as the strength fades
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  Speaker 1: in the skin wrinkles, Both give each other exclusive for
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  Speaker 1: your eyes only privileges. Gone is the shame, Gone is
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  Speaker 1: the undisciplined lust, Gone is the morning after insecurity, what
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  Speaker 1: remains is a celebration of permanence, a tender moment in
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  Speaker 1: which the body continues what was begun in the mind
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  Speaker 1: and the heart, A time in which the man and
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  Speaker 1: his wife were both naked, but they were not ashamed.
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  Speaker 1: Can you imagine nakedness with no shame? Can you imagine
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  Speaker 1: sex with no guilt? God?
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  Speaker 2: Can?
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  Speaker 1: God envisions a pure, unadulterated, playful joy between a husband
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  Speaker 1: and a wife who have covenanted, who have pledged themselves,
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  Speaker 1: who have locked themselves into a relationship. This is God's picture,
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  Speaker 1: his first command. The first command of the Bible is
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  Speaker 1: to have sex. Does that surprise you? Don't look at
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  Speaker 1: me like a preacher? Can't say that here is the
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  Speaker 1: first command in the Bible. Be fruitful and increase in
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  Speaker 1: number before any other command, Let that one be framed
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  Speaker 1: and hung in every bedroom in every marriage. God commands sex.
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  Speaker 1: When he saw everything he had made, he said it
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  Speaker 1: is good. When he saw the sand on the beach,
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  Speaker 1: when he's all the sunset on the horizon, he said
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  Speaker 1: it is good. And when he saw the body of
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  Speaker 1: Adam and the body of Eve, when he saw the
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  Speaker 1: attraction each had for the other, when he saw the affection,
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  Speaker 1: when he saw the desire, when he saw the touch,
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  Speaker 1: when he saw the arousal, when he saw the kiss,
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  Speaker 1: he said, that's good. What does this say about God? Oh,
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  Speaker 1: how we tend to assume that God is austere and grumpy.
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  Speaker 1: But our God is a God who loves pleasure, who
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  Speaker 1: creates it and blesses it. We see this in the
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  Speaker 1: life of Jesus Christ, the son of God, whose first
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  Speaker 1: miracle was what to turn water into wine? Can you
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  Speaker 1: envision God with a smile on his face and a
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  Speaker 1: glass of wine in his hand, such as the image
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  Speaker 1: of God the Bible. The Bible says that God richly
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  Speaker 1: provides us with everything for our enjoyment. This must include sex.
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  Speaker 1: Sex is about procreation, but it's also about recreation. Turns
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  Speaker 1: out the first command to be fruitful and multiplying is
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  Speaker 1: a fun one to obey. No one appreciates the gift
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  Speaker 1: of sex as much as God's children do. This isn't
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  Speaker 1: just my opinion. America was shocked when USA Today ran
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  Speaker 1: an article which said several major research studies show that
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  Speaker 1: church ladies and the men who sleep with them are
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  Speaker 1: among the most sexually satisfied people on the face of
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  Speaker 1: the earth. Several years ago, the results of the most
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  Speaker 1: comprehensive and methodologically sound sex survey ever conducted was released,
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  Speaker 1: and the University of Chicago reported that religious women experience
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  Speaker 1: signsignificantly higher levels of sexual satisfaction than non religious women.
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  Speaker 1: I'm thinking this article would be an effective evangelism tool.
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  Speaker 1: So marital sex, according to God's Plan, is a gift,
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  Speaker 1: a delightful, enjoyable gift that is a part of the
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  Speaker 1: coming together of two human beings. It is a gift
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  Speaker 1: that is sacred. Consequently, we honor the plan. First the leaving,
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  Speaker 1: then the cleaving, and then the man and woman were
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  Speaker 1: naked with no shame. First comes love, then comes marriage,
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  Speaker 1: Then comes Johnny pushing the baby carriage. So we honor
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  Speaker 1: the plan then we protect the privilege. The big point
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  Speaker 1: is the obvious one. God regards marital sex as something
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  Speaker 1: that is holy, that is sacred, a gift that is unique.
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  Speaker 1: It is set apart for a special purpose. It's not
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  Speaker 1: a dirty secret to be swept under the rug. It's
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  Speaker 1: not a duty to be reluctantly obeyed. It is simply
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  Speaker 1: a gift from God to strengthen a marriage. How can
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  Speaker 1: this strengthen your marriage? Well, here's a few ways. First,
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  Speaker 1: consecrate your sex life to God. Consider your marriage bed
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  Speaker 1: a holy place. Neil beside it and say, God, may
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  Speaker 1: what happens in this bed bring honor to you and
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  Speaker 1: joy to my mate. Ask God for wisdom and understanding.
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  Speaker 1: Invite him to bring healing into your life. I'm very
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  Speaker 1: aware that this has been for many people a source
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  Speaker 1: of pain. Perhaps you were inappropriately touched, or you've been
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  Speaker 1: taken advantage of, or perhaps you have many regrets. The
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  Speaker 1: Lord's ability to heal goes deep. Dear child of God,
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  Speaker 1: Let him heal you, and God's grace is sufficient. Let
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  Speaker 1: him forgive you. He's ready to write a new chapter
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  Speaker 1: in this part of your life. Talk to him. Also,
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  Speaker 1: communicate with your spouse, speak to one another, discuss concerns,
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  Speaker 1: express frustrations. There are times when one spouse or the
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  Speaker 1: other simply isn't there. There are occasions when interest levels
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  Speaker 1: don't meet one is more enthused than the other. Talk
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  Speaker 1: it through. Don't make your spouse feel guilty or manipulated.
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  Speaker 1: Just let the servant spirit reign and keep courting. If
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  Speaker 1: there was more courting in marriage, there would be fewer
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  Speaker 1: marriages in court. What you did to fall in love,
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  Speaker 1: keep doing so you'll stay in love. May you rejoice
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  Speaker 1: in the wife of your youth. Enjoy life with your
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  Speaker 1: wife whom you love, and put your spouse's desires above
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  Speaker 1: your own. Take a servant's spirit into your sex life.
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  Speaker 1: Marriage is not a place to stand up for your rights.
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  Speaker 1: Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in
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  Speaker 1: bed or not. So see the marriage bed as a
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  Speaker 1: place for you to honor one of God's children rather
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  Speaker 1: than satisfy your desires. And this happens as you accept
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  Speaker 1: sexual difference. Men and women are different. We love that
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  Speaker 1: men and women are different. We hate that love or
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  Speaker 1: hate the differences. They're there, so we're wise to understand them.
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  Speaker 1: You husbands should live with your wives in an understanding way,
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  Speaker 1: and wives understand and support your husbands in ways that
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  Speaker 1: show your support for Christ. For example, Ladies, your husbands
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  Speaker 1: see sex as a primary need. Men your wives see
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  Speaker 1: sex as optional. When men were asked to rank the
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  Speaker 1: importance of sex, they continually constantly I'm sorry, they consistently
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  Speaker 1: scored it one, two or three. I think some scored
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  Speaker 1: it one, two and three. On the average, ranked sex
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  Speaker 1: in the number thirteen slot, right behind gardening together. Apparently,
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  Speaker 1: the presence of a good garden indicates a restless husband.
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  Speaker 1: Men and women are different. Both can understand the other.
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  Speaker 1: It takes wisdom to have a good family. It takes
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  Speaker 1: understanding to make it strong. Here's an example. Men, we
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  Speaker 1: need to understand that women today in dwell a beauty
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  Speaker 1: pageant world. Everything they see tells then that they are
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  Speaker 1: as valuable as their waistline is thin or figure is kurvy.
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  Speaker 1: Our victorious secret. Society measures a woman in the ways
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  Speaker 1: she looks. She needs somebody, She needs a husband who
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  Speaker 1: will treasure her for who she is and that is
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  Speaker 1: a daughter of God. And she needs to hear on
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  Speaker 1: a regular basis, I love you, I'd marry you again
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  Speaker 1: if given the chance, and she needs to hear that
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  Speaker 1: other than times of romance, women, it would help you
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  Speaker 1: to understand that your husbands live in a Las Vegas
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  Speaker 1: light show. When it comes to sexual stimuli, it's everywhere billboards, commercials.
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  Speaker 1: Telling him not to think so much about sex is
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  Speaker 1: like telling him to ignore donuts in a Crispy Kream shop.
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  Speaker 1: Everywhere Why companies use curvy models to sell bass boats?
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  Speaker 1: Just be patient, pray for him. Most of all, let's
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  Speaker 1: serve one another. Honor marriage, Honor it, and guard the
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  Speaker 1: sacredness of sexual intimacy. If you do, you might enjoy
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  Speaker 1: a marriage like the one described in the Anne Landers column.
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  Speaker 1: Someone wrote Anne Landers and said, Dear Anne, last weekend,
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  Speaker 1: my parents celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. This morning, they
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  Speaker 1: left on a long awaited trip to Hawaii. They were
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  Speaker 1: as excited as if they were on their honeymoon. When
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  Speaker 1: my parents married, they only had enough money for a
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  Speaker 1: three day trip fifty miles from home. They made a
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  Speaker 1: pact then that each time they made love, they would
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  Speaker 1: put a dollar in a special metal box and save
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  Speaker 1: it for a honeymoon in Hawaii for their fiftieth anniversary.
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  Speaker 1: Dad was a policeman mother was a school teacher. They
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  Speaker 1: lived in a modest house and did all their own repairs.
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  Speaker 1: Raising five children was a challenge and sometimes money was short.
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  Speaker 1: But no matter what emergency came up, Dad would not
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  Speaker 1: let Mom take any money out of the Hawaii account.
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  Speaker 1: As the amount grew, they put it in a savings
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  Speaker 1: account and then bought CDs. My parents were very much
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  Speaker 1: in love. I can remember Dad coming home and telling
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  Speaker 1: Mom I have a dollar in my pocket. She would
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  Speaker 1: smile at him and reply, I know just how to
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  Speaker 1: spend it. When each of us married, Mom and Dad
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  Speaker 1: gave us a small metal box and told us their secret,
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  Speaker 1: which we found inspiring. Mom and Dad never told us
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  Speaker 1: how much money they managed to save, but it must
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  Speaker 1: have been considerable because when they cashed in those CDs,
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  Speaker 1: they had enough for airfare to Hawaii, plus hotel accommodations
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  Speaker 1: for ten days, and plenty of spending money. Before they
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  Speaker 1: boarded the plane, Dad winked at me and said, tonight
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  Speaker 1: we are starting an account for Cancun. I thought you'd
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  Speaker 1: enjoy this story about fifty great years of intimacy in
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  Speaker 1: marriage from a loving daughter in Abilene, Texas. Today, whether
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  Speaker 1: you are single or married, whether you're a teenager or
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  Speaker 1: a grandparent. Could I call upon you to submit yourself
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  Speaker 1: to God's plan? For some of you, this is the
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  Speaker 1: most difficult decision of discipleship. Perhaps you are involved in
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  Speaker 1: an inappropriate relationship and God is calling you to discontinue
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  Speaker 1: it and to honor his plan. Perhaps you're living with
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  Speaker 1: unbearable guilt and God is calling you to give it
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  Speaker 1: to him and receive his forgiveness. Perhaps you have been
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  Speaker 1: wounded or afflicted in this area, perhaps by your choice,
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  Speaker 1: or perhaps by the inappropriate behavior of someone else. Would
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  Speaker 1: you allow God to step into this part of your
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  Speaker 1: life that perhaps you've kept closeted away, and allow Him
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  Speaker 1: to speak words of grace and healing into your life.
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  Speaker 1: And perhaps this is the part of your marriage that
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  Speaker 1: needs love and needs attention. Receive it. Invite God, communicate
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  Speaker 1: with each other, and allow the Lord to give you
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  Speaker 1: a new season. It's his will, for He loves you.
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  Speaker 1: He made you most Heavenly Father, our King, and our Master.
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  Speaker 1: We bow before you, inviting that you now would please
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  Speaker 1: step into every element every part of our lives, especially
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  Speaker 1: this one that we have discussed today. We pray, Heavenly
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  Speaker 1: Father that those who are single may be strong and assured.
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  Speaker 1: Those who are married may be blessed and instructed. Those
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  Speaker 1: who have stumbled may find grace. Those who have been
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  Speaker 1: wounded may find healing. We beg you, Almighty God, to
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  Speaker 1: step into this part of our world. Help us to
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  Speaker 1: hear your voice and your voice only, and to trust you.
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  Speaker 3: That's who, that is endless.
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  Speaker 1: So why so.
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  Speaker 2: That's somehow.
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  Speaker 3: I'm still losting you.
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  Speaker 1: This treats are full.
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  Speaker 3: Of moving shadows, countless place as I could go, city shining,
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  Speaker 3: people passing. Yet I still feel so lone.
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  Speaker 4: Every old keeps leading nowhere. Every sky feels cold and blue.
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  Speaker 4: In this world so fast and open, I'm still lost.
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  Speaker 1: In missing you.
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  Speaker 2: The world is wild, so wid before me, but I
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  Speaker 2: kee blues in my way somewhere. Less distance your memory
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  Speaker 2: makes misty. The world o without us, but my heart
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  Speaker 2: remains unshoe formal matter where these feet may wonder, I'm
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  Speaker 2: still lost in saying you.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: I have tried to outrun silence, try to leave your
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: ghost behind, but your name still echo softly through the
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: corners of my mind.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: The world is wide so before me, but I keep
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: loves in my way somewhere. Blesses us Your memorvie makes
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: me stay. The world do without us, but my heart
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: remain is untrue. For no matter where these speed they wonder,
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: I'm still lost in the same. Maybe somebody stop searching
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: for your face in every crap, But until that day,
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: this broken heart will keep calling your name out.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: The world is wise, so.
• 31:57
  Speaker 4: Why before me? But I keep losing my way.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: Somewhere in less distance. Your memory thanks me s The
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: world moves without us, but my heart remains some true.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: For no matter where these feet may you wonder, I'm
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: still lost in missing you.