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We Never Show Our Badge: Exclusive Insights Mendy Coën · None of Your Business Podcast

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June 24th, 2021 at 1:23 in the morning, a 12 story building in
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Surfside, FL collapses in 12 seconds.
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Literally 12 seconds. The.
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Whole thing came down 12 seconds, right?
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Pancake stock 98 people lost their lives.
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It was chaotic. It was very, very painful.
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None of your business, Oshi. None of your business, Michael.
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It's the None of Your Business podcast hosted by Michael
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Anoshi. Welcome back everybody to the
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next episode of the None of Your Business Podcast.
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Oshi. I I'm exhilarated, I'm excited.
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I'm at a loss for words for who we're going to be sitting with
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today. Chaplain Mendy Cohen is not only
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a good friend, he is a leader in his peers.
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He is a pillar in the community of Chabad.
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He literally lives next door to 770 Eastern Parkway.
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His family is a owner of Do so Foods distribution company,
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which many people in our industry know.
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And we have them joining us today.
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And we're going to learn a lot about chaplaincy.
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You I, I think that you're going to learn about chaplaincy and
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what it is. I don't know.
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Did you know that I was a chaplain?
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I only discovered that recently when you told me that you were a
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chaplain. And if you would have told this
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to me two weeks ago, I would have said, OK, what's the big
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deal? I don't really know what a
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chaplain does. I'm not sure what you know what
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what function it serves, but I would be very interested in in
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learning about. Well, Mendy, Mendy is going to
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join us today and he's not only going to talk about the
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chaplaincy, but I asked him to give us a little bit of insight
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on Chabad and that whole, you know, the the idea of Chabad and
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the magnitude of what it brings to the world.
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And we have a lot to look forward to, but.
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It's my understanding that he's not just a chaplain himself.
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He's actually the head of all the chaplains across the
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country, right? He has like 600 chaplains that
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work underneath him. Yep.
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That's unbelievable. So I'm just going, where do you
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find these people? Michael?
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How did When did you cross paths with this person?
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Mehdi was a salesman and I want to talk about that on the
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podcast. So we'll see.
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We'll save it for then and How I Met him years ago, but we've
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we've since then joined forces as families.
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We're family friends now and he's just an amazing person with
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amazing background. He's French too, so that also
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will bring a unique part of the discussion.
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Does did he give you the shirt? Yes, I have the shirt, my badge,
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my plaque in my car with me everywhere I go in case I ever
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need it. OK, wonderful.
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I'm looking forward to it. Let's do.
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It Mendy, thank you for being with us.
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Pleasure. It's an honor.
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Thank you, Mandy, who you named after Mandy.
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Not the voucher, Ravi. OK, explain.
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Most Mandy I. Was born in 74, the voucher Ravi
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passed away 94 and in our community we don't name after
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people that are alive. So I'm probably named after the
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Tamatadek who's a rabbi about 200 years ago.
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And his name was Manaka Mendel, so that's where the rabbit got
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his name from. That's right, Manda, you have a
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amazing, amazing history, so much to talk about, and you're
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responsible for a lot of my growth in my life.
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I became a chaplain because of you.
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I'm wearing the shirt proudly. We do events or we go and do you
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know outreach, community outreach.
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I make sure to have this on. I also to make sure that when
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I'm speeding, I show this to the cop when he pulls me over, I
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have a badge. It's listen, this is more than
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just the membership fee. This is training.
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This is courses. Turn around, turn it around.
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Here we go. We never flash a badge.
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Oh OK, I forgot that part. No.
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Flash badges. So one second, one second, back
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up a second. What exactly is a chaplain and
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what does a chaplain do? All right, I'm going to give you
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a definition for chaplains. This definition does not exist
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in the world. If you go on Google and you type
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chaplain definition it's going to give you a bunch of things,
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but not what chaplains do. Cleric, Christian, other stuff.
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A chaplain is a person who's trained to diffuse pain and ease
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tension by means of language, psychology and emotional
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support. Like a therapist.
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Almost. Interesting.
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OK. So you being ordained as a
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chaplain, what does that mean? It means that I took my natural
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ability of being compassionate and being, you know, there for
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people and learnt how to utilize all those skills that I have
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natural abilities to do and then take that to the next level.
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So that if I'm at a place of crisis, I know how to deal with
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the situation because I'm trained properly.
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And one of the crisis, you know, that we've experienced in our
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history recently was the suicide disaster.
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And Mendy was there leading the emotional stress that was
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happening around everyone. Everyone need to decompress the
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search and rescue people that the Sergeant that came from
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Israel, he needed to decompress everyday.
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Mendy was the one to decompress him all.
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Right. It's called debriefing.
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Let me back up a little bit. The training of chaplaincy, it's
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based on emotional intelligence skills, social intelligence
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skills, social communication skills.
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What that means is we learn how to read people's expressions.
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So body language, verbal cues, nonverbal cues, facial
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expressions, because not always someone in pain will come to us
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for help. Sometimes we need to identify,
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we need to detect pain. That's like a like a sense that
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you read people once you identify pain.
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If you want to help as a chaplain, you need to do an
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assessment. What's going on in this person's
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life that is producing so much pain?
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Here's a challenge. People in pain don't want to
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talk. People in pain don't want to
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share. That is what pain does.
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Pain isolates people within themselves.
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So what is the language you need to use words?
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What are the communication skills you need to have to
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create what we call a chaplain? See a rapport.
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Trust ROT. Unless you do this successfully
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right from the beginning, you probably will not be able to
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help that person. How do you do this successfully
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in minutes? That is a sense that people in
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pain have by you, the chaplain, that you have the power to help
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them, because when they feel that way, they will open up to
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you. Now they open up to you.
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How do you gather intelligence quickly without sounding like an
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interrogation? Because.
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If it is, you have to be like a super therapist because the
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therapist at least have the advantage of first listening to
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you, hearing what's going on in your line of work.
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You don't have that luxury. It sounds like you're dealing
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with such traumatic events with such people that have real big
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issues that they're not opening, they're not sharing.
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You have to pull that out of them and tracked it on your own.
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So you have to have them open up to you.
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And for this there is a science to it.
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There's a science to it to to let people put their guards down
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so they could actually trust you right away.
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You do your assessment, you find out some details about the
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person. Then you learn how to grade the
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pain based on the grading. You know what to do with it.
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So. Speaking of learning, Mindy, we
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have so much to learn about you. We've been listening to the
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feedback of our listeners and one of the things that they
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absolutely love and they're eating up alive is the Lightning
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Round. So our team got together and we
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decided to start the podcast with the Lightning Round.
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So if that's OK with you, we'd like to learn about you and
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start off with just top five questions that we have and you
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get one. None of your business to
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respond. You can.
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Pass on only one question I got you if you don't want to answer
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it, but the other questions you got to answer off the cuff.
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Don't think about it too much, just first thing that comes to
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mind. Just spit it out.
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Here we go. Who is the person?
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Mandy, past, present or future that you would like to have
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lunch with? King David.
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King David. Wow.
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OK, who is the most respected person that you already did
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lunch with? Colonel Golan, Bob.
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Wow, I can't wait to. Get from idea can't.
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Wait to get back to that. How many times have you seen the
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Rebbe? Hundreds or thousands of times.
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Wow, in person, yes. Did you get dollars every time?
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Hundreds. OK, we'll go back to that in a
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minute. Did you yourself go through the
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tunnel in 770? None of your.
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Business And finally, how many chaplains, Mendy do you oversee?
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642 and over 200 in the making in the in training.
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That's great. That's a lot.
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Yeah. And you have interactions with
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each of them. I wish I had 25 hours a day so I
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could actually have more interactions, but yes.
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By the way, chaplains, in my mind, what I always thought they
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do, or you know, where you see chaplains is in a prison, right?
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In a prison, you have chaplains that come to visit with the
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prisoners. That's kind of where I thought
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of a, a chaplain or, or in, in war, sometimes they have to go
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onto the battlefield, people that are dying all the time
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instead of a chaplain that is there as, you know, as needed.
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Like that's to me what a chaplain is, but I never really
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understood what they do or what's behind it.
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Your explanation when we started, it sounds like this is
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an art form. It sounds like that this is
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something that you have to have years of training.
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Well, no. You get it right?
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I Well, the first skill for a chaplain, the 1st, it's called
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Ministry of Presence. It's the ability to give
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yourself your presence to someone who needs it.
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But for that you need to block all your background noise in
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your mind, which is very hard. In fact, they did a study how
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many times a person on the average day gets interrupted by
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their smartphone. Do you have an idea?
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Give me a number. Interrupted.
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Wasn't interrupted. Me whether a call a beep?
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A message. A vibration, A message, A.
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WhatsApp on. Your own.
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Are you asking how many? Times a day or a day?
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A day? A day.
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How many times a day? Yes, that's got to be 50.
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No, I would say more than 50. Give me.
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Give me a number 50. What do you say?
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If we're understanding each other, it means like how many
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times a person would look at his phone.
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Yes, it means. Interrupted means that.
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You look for a. Coin, if I look at it, you look
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at it even if you want to go online for something, if you.
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Want to? Text text.
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You receive a text you. Send, I would say probably 250
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times. All right, you want the number?
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I'll give you the number. This is based on 44,000 people
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1400 times. That means that the mind doesn't
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know how to focus more than a few seconds at a time. 1400 * *
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a day so the average person picks up his phone to engage
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with his. Phone How many people told you
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I'm ADD or ADHD? Everybody today, everybody
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moves. Everything is racing because the
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mind is racing. Chaplains, when they give
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minister a presence, they have to stop that.
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Very complicated, very difficult.
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Have to make you focus. Right, exactly.
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You have to focus and you have to remove all the background
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noise from your mind, that voice that talks to you every time you
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see things like right now you talk, you're looking at me,
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you're thinking about what I'm saying is to remove so you could
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bring your presence to someone. That is what Ministry of
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presence is. And at the core level you're
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able to Co regulate emotions. Every time you meet someone, you
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make them feel better. So the first job is to settle
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things down, is to just remove all of the distractions from and
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have that person focus on you. So now you can start.
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OK, interesting. That's called Ministry of.
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Presence. So how do we do that?
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There is a science. To it.
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You know, I travel a lot and I have to tell you that I wish
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there were chaplains in the airports more than there were
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police. Because every time you have
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chaos on a plane with someone who didn't listen to one of the
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flight attendants, police come. They don't ask questions, they
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bring them out and they just, everybody's flight gets ruined
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as opposed to a chaplain who can come and defuse the situation.
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Or perhaps you should start training all the flight
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attendants and turn them into chaplains.
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We'd probably have a more pleasant flying experience for
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everybody. In fact, we do work in one
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airport, Miami International Airport.
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Sure, we have chaplains there. And when I travel, I always put
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this cap on. I have a lapel, like a little
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badge here and my ID. That's how I walk.
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Does that invite people to talk to you about challenges they're
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having? Not only that, but when I walked
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onto a plane, I'm always the first one I walk over and I say
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I'm an active Champlain. I would need to get on the plane
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right away before everybody. Now when people come in, I look
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at them. See who's stressed?
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And I'll tell you something, those are about to start.
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You could tell the way they walk inside because I'm looking at
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them, I'm looking at their eyes, I'm looking at their body
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expression, body language. And I take two business cards
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and I give them to the pilots and they always tell me thank
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you for being on board. You have a special message on
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the back of your card that I've seen you give to police
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officers. Here, this is for police
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officers and this is for people in hospitals that people are
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going through a hard time. Wow.
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And the back of it. We're going to put this on our
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video. We're going to we're going to
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put this out there. And this is an art therapy
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picture. Dear Lord, watch over me and
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protect me from danger and evil. Grant me the courage to do
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justice. Wow, this is amazing.
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And over here as we wait and hope for good news, please guide
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me to stay whole and serene. Fantastic.
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And I want to know how this effects you on your daily basis.
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I get phone calls every day. Today I got a phone call from
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Newark Federal Prison. The guy's being arrested for
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nine months and nobody knows about it.
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I just found out this morning. How did you find out about?
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What I mean, arrested for nine months, I mean.
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He's in jail for 9:00. Months.
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He's already in jail. In a hole up secure and he can't
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get out because there's a flight risk.
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Oh, right now he's in a holding. He doesn't speak English well.
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How did this come to you? I went yesterday for lunch, for
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business lunch in Manhattan. I was wearing my my lapel, my
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chaplain badge on my jacket and the owner of the restaurant came
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over to me asking me what is a chaplain and I explained to him
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I need your help. This morning he calls me to tell
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me about this very, very unfortunate situation where this
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guy's was arrested, seem to be an A normal, actually a very
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successful businessman. He doesn't know how to pull
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strings here. Wow.
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So he's stuck for nine months. What?
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Was he arrested for? I don't know what.
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Were the chargers. I don't know.
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I know he has to call me soon. And this is going on for nine
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months for 9:00. Months you're.
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Going to be all over it. And I'm going to and I told his
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wife already, we're going to get him out.
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From wearing a lapel. I don't know what I know what
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the story is, but I know in the depth of my, you know, I.
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I feel like I want the world to know, you know, there's a
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there's a special signal, a hand signal, you know, this.
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If someone's kidnapped that they do a hand signal.
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They let people know. No, I don't know.
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Abducted. Yeah.
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There's a hand signal to. What's the hand signal to show
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that you've been abducted? It's, I think it's something
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like this that you have to show somebody like this with your
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hands. And I feel like Mendy, you're
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wearing a lapel is a signal to others.
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If you need help, I'm here for you.
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What? What an amazing thing.
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You'd wear the lapel and it invites the challenges that
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people have to come and you're on top.
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Of and I want to tell you another, a secret which I tell
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chaplains we Live Today in very difficult times.
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There's pain everywhere at all level of our communities,
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toddlers, teenagers, young adults, middle-aged, elderly,
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married, single, female, male, there's pain everywhere.
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How do you protect yourself from pain from society?
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Just listen to the news, you'll hear pain.
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The best way to do this is to help someone else.
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That's the best cell therapy. It subsides some of your own
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pain. It is if you help someone.
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Blocks it. Blocks the negative energy from
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outside to enter your mind and your heart.
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Why, Yeah. No, go ahead.
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Because once you're busy giving, two forces, opposite forces,
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cannot operate at the same time. So either you give or you
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receive. When you give from yourself to
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others, nothing from the outside could go inside you.
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And this is a. This is a.
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This is a fact. Yeah, yeah.
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No, giving, sometimes people say is almost a selfish thing
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because you're really helping yourself because by giving to
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someone else, it makes you feel better as well.
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Because I think humans, we're, we're wired that way is that,
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you know, we're always trying to do things to make ourselves feel
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good, right? That's what we want to do.
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And by seeing an impact that you're making someone else,
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that's something that makes you feel very good.
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So I, it's almost like a distraction of what's going on
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in your own life when you're involving yourself in someone
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else's life and you're helping them and you're doing good,
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you're doing positive. I, I have to say this chaplain
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thing to me is fascinating. I, I think I'm the casual person
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as well that doesn't know much about chaplains.
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I think if you asked us, the average person, hey, what's a
17:05
chaplain? What does a chaplain member do?
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We won't know. We have no idea.
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People don't know. But guys like, you exist.
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I mean, chaplain sounds like there's a lot of people out
17:13
there that are chaplains and you're helping people in a big
17:16
way. You're also trained, it sounds
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like, to really like you were saying identifying people just
17:21
by looking at them, by picking up on cues, their body language,
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which I'd love to hear like some examples of like what you look
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for and what does that tell you when you see somebody's like,
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what are some of those things that you look for when you see
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someone to detect what's going on with them and if they need
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your services? You know what, Mandy, take us
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back to Surfside because in the lightning round, you mentioned
17:41
that you had lunch with someone who was very important to the,
17:45
you know, that disaster and the, and just being there and
17:48
managing the situation. I remember the first few days it
17:50
was chaos. No one knew what to do or how to
17:53
do it. People were afraid to touch
17:54
anything. And then in came the leadership
17:57
of Israel, the search and rescue team and that's the person that
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you mentioned earlier. Please tell us more and and
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maybe you can get into a she's question and talk about what
18:05
that was like and how do you detect and how do you know?
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When to give us a real time experience?
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Give us something that actually happened and what?
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What occurred? What transpired?
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How not? Who he was.
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So June 24th, 2021 at 1:23 in the morning, a 12 story building
18:20
in Surfside, FL collapses in 12 seconds.
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Literally 12 seconds. The.
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Whole thing came down in 12 seconds, right?
18:26
Pancake style. Wow, 98 people lost their lives.
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It was chaotic. It was very, very painful.
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And the National Rescue Unit of IDF, this is a division of IDF
18:44
who trained all year round to assist in disasters around the
18:47
world. The commander.
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His name is Golan Bach. Was he on TV?
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Yes. Many times I've seen him with
18:56
this Google. Yeah, right.
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So he came with his team of engineers and what they did, it
19:02
was astonishing. They put together engineers,
19:08
interviewers, intelligence officers who interviewed every
19:12
single family member who had a family in that building to know
19:17
where, how was the layout of each apartment.
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They landed in Miami with blueprints of every single
19:24
apartment. As they're talking to family
19:28
members that enter the data in the computer that was sent to
19:31
Israel, to Tel Aviv, they send back simulations of where that
19:36
apartment would fall and where to look for it.
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So the beds where this way and that way.
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They followed computer simulations to find and they
19:47
would basically mock spots on the pile and then you would have
19:53
the task force of a couple states dig there and with with
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with dogs and different technologies that would find
20:03
people exactly where they told us that and.
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What did, what did you do there? How was that experience?
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For you. So for us, we had the special
20:09
unit, the first responder special units, and I have to
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mention Chaplain Lisa Mermelstein, who was there with
20:16
me for a long time. I was there for 61 days and
20:19
managing 30 chaplains. And what we did was there were
20:22
hundreds of people, hundreds, thousands of people, family
20:25
members didn't know what was going on.
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They didn't know where they loved the one where, where
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they're alive, where they're not.
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Like, imagine you go through this constantly.
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At the certain point, people fall apart psychologically,
20:36
mentally. I had a woman that came to me
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and told me I want to die. I don't want to see pain
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anymore. Three days later.
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And we chaplains provide spiritual care.
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So we have to find a way to speak with them and to interact
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with them. The problem, and This is why
20:51
we're trained with PFA, psychological first aid
20:54
training, which gives us the ability to be there when trauma
20:58
is involved. Psychological first aid is is
21:00
that a? Is that a phrase that is a no?
21:03
Of course, psychological training, we trained with
21:05
Johubsky University, our chaplains took the training.
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We have a special division of first responders, chaplains who
21:11
attend disasters. Wow.
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So those chaplains, and I'm part of them, we had to find ways to
21:18
stop people to think because at a certain point they could not
21:23
listen to anything because the mind was in a cycle, in the loop
21:27
of pain. And when you speak to them,
21:29
they're not there. They look at you, but they are
21:32
somewhere else. How do you enter that mind?
21:34
So they could listen to you. That's a skill to stop that
21:38
loop. So they could stop and just
21:40
listen for even 5 minutes. And I can tell you that after a
21:44
conversation with a chaplain, they would tell me, Chaplain
21:47
Mandy, how, how did you do that? You took me on the trip right
21:51
now. You took me away from my pain.
21:55
And I would say let's thank God because that's he makes this
21:59
happen. So there is an amazing skill to
22:03
this. There's an amazing need.
22:05
There's not enough chaplains. There really isn't.
22:08
I mean, this is the most delicate.
22:10
This is the most vulnerable. This is like the epitome of pain
22:15
in that Surfside story where a building collapsed.
22:18
The family members of their on scene and they're feeling
22:21
helpless. There's nothing that they can do
22:23
about it. And they know that some of their
22:25
family members might actually still be alive under that rubble
22:29
and they're suffering and you're just on the sidelines.
22:33
You can't contribute towards anything.
22:34
You have to let the professionals do what they can.
22:36
I mean, their minds must have been going to some really dark
22:39
places. Very bad, but.
22:41
Very dark places and to have people who can deal with that,
22:44
to have somebody like you with the experience, with the
22:46
training, I mean, this, this has to be more elaborated.
22:51
We, we do need more people like you And, and we don't talk about
22:54
this enough. We don't know what goes on
22:55
behind the scenes. This is shocking for me to hear
22:58
this and I never thought about it because I'm living in my own
23:00
world and I don't really know what goes on.
23:03
I know the basics of the story, but I don't know behind the
23:05
scenes of what's happened. Like you're exposing me now to
23:07
something and I think you're exposing a lot of people.
23:10
It's something we never even thought was needed.
23:12
And what's going on? And this is, this is crazy.
23:14
I have to share with you that we don't have to wait,
23:17
unfortunately, to a Surfside situation to get involved.
23:20
This happens in one in a lifetime.
23:24
There are trauma everywhere today.
23:26
A diagnosis is a trauma. A divorce is a trauma.
23:31
A car accident is a trauma. It happens all the time.
23:34
Did you ever drive and you see a car stopped, You have a police
23:37
presence, you have an ambulance and you have people outside.
23:40
So these people who are outside standing, they're not hurt,
23:43
otherwise they'd be in the ambulance.
23:44
What happened to them? Well, they just went through a
23:47
trauma. They're shaking.
23:50
I would stop, take out my badge and go engage them.
23:55
Every time I do this, there's a benefit for them.
23:58
Wow. I have to tell you, I witnessed
24:00
this personally when I was invited by Chaplain Mindy Cohen
24:04
to a weekend a Shabbat tone at Fort Braggs.
24:08
And it was one of the most uplifting weekend Shabbat tones
24:12
that I've ever had in my life, besides the fact that I found
24:15
out that Mindy here plays piano and sings.
24:18
That was fun. But there were many chaplains
24:20
that were at the Surfside disaster and they were witnesses
24:23
and they were giving their account and their story.
24:26
I even at that weekend, got to meet the first cyclist for Bike
24:30
for High, Chaplain David, the first one, he was telling us the
24:34
story about how he started Bike for High by being the guy who's
24:38
like, no, no, no, I'll take my bike and I'll go there.
24:40
I don't know if you know the story, but there's one chaplain
24:42
who started Bike for High and he just took his bike and it's
24:44
like, I'll meet you guys there. And he was the first Rider ever.
24:47
And that weekend I got to learn so much about chaplaincy, how
24:51
integrated they are into the United States Army.
24:54
You say you know, about chaplains in hospitals, in
24:56
prisons, in armies. And I love where the
24:58
conversation is going, needing those chaplaincies around us and
25:02
us being trained. Just the training that I've got
25:04
alone from this program was very helpful for me to know when I
25:08
pull over instead of just my instinct kicking in and letting
25:11
me, letting me help people around me, but understanding how
25:15
to take a step back and listen in a whole new light, a whole
25:19
new light, which was which was amazing to me.
25:21
I loved it. And by the way, you know, Mendy,
25:23
there's a lot of trauma going on right now in the world that I
25:27
want to talk about for a minute. That's, that's hitting me home
25:30
personally, every time I go to Manhattan, every time I go out
25:37
to New York City and I go out at least once a week to New York
25:41
City. Every time I go out, I'm a
25:44
little bit nervous. There's a little bit of anxiety,
25:47
There's a little bit of trauma. You know what that trauma is
25:49
that there's going to be protesters and haters that are
25:53
going to walk around and, and, and they don't know, just raise
25:55
their flag. They're dangerous.
25:57
I'm scared for my life sometimes.
25:59
In fact, I know that this is something that we, we talked
26:03
about that happens in the city and everywhere else, but
26:06
something that you don't know where she is.
26:07
Mendy's from Paris, Mehndi's from France.
26:10
Mehndi, you, you come from an environment of the entire
26:14
country feels like New York City on a Thursday night
26:17
demonstration or a protest. How does that feel?
26:20
How do you know? Tell us about that.
26:22
I mean, just just what am I supposed to do when I go to New
26:25
York City? And I feel that.
26:25
How do people in Paris relate to all that hate?
26:29
OK, I so yes, I was born in Paris.
26:31
I grew up in Paris. My first language is French.
26:35
English is my third language. Third language?
26:37
Yes. What's the second one?
26:38
Hebrew. Oh, OK.
26:40
And my parents still lived there in Paris.
26:43
So growing up in Paris, knowing that people don't like you,
26:51
people hate you, almost makes you stronger.
26:56
Because when you go out, you're always on your whereabouts.
26:59
You look around, you're. On guard.
27:02
You're on guard constantly, but also it becomes a habit.
27:04
It becomes natural to not be afraid.
27:08
We also know how to detect early signs of problems.
27:14
OK, in America, we not, we don't know how, and that's what we're
27:19
afraid. Of the unknown, I mean, I just
27:22
don't have that experience, yeah.
27:23
So. So even though I would say today
27:26
there are more hate crimes in New York City than in Paris
27:32
today. Is that is that right?
27:35
That's true. Yeah, today you have more
27:37
problems, hate crimes in New York City.
27:40
Hate crimes towards Jews or hate crimes in general?
27:42
Well, in general that you could look at the statistics, but to
27:47
in regards to Jew to the Jewish community, just look around.
27:51
I mean, it's not in the papers because it's too often like
27:54
school shootings. It happens every month.
27:56
We just don't hear. That I heard it happens every
27:58
week, school shootings around the country and they stopped
28:01
reporting it because it's just become so habitat.
28:03
Same for. It's become so common practice
28:05
that they don't be reported. Last week, there were two air
28:07
crimes in Brooklyn, in Crown Heights.
28:10
There is a lot in in other place, other areas in Brooklyn,
28:15
in Manhattan. But let's understand that's not
28:18
what defines us. I was yesterday had a meeting
28:22
with the mayor of New York City and he spoke very nicely, he
28:27
said. Could be the mayor of New York
28:30
City, you're talking. About Mayor Adams Mayor Adams.
28:31
Yes, you met with him yesterday. Yesterday morning and.
28:34
How much time did you spend together?
28:35
We were two hours together. Wow.
28:37
Without their group Facebook. We could have a whole episode of
28:40
just. Yeah.
28:41
I like how we just slid that in over there that he, yeah,
28:43
yesterday that. Was and the mayor and I had
28:45
lunch yesterday. This is like well.
28:47
Slow down, let me take you something.
28:48
You can always join me number one and this happens.
28:50
Follow you around. By the way, Mendy Mendy invited
28:53
me once to come to LA. I I missed the and by a day
28:56
where he went with LAPD in their helicopter up in the air and you
29:01
know in LA they have what is it? Do they have helicopters all the
29:03
time? 24 it's the only city.
29:05
In the only city in. America that has helicopters in
29:07
the ear all the time. Trolling all the.
29:08
Time and he went with them up and he was following cop cars.
29:11
And tell us about the meeting with the mayor.
29:15
So he acknowledged that there's a lot of pain around and the
29:19
only way to get out of this is through faith.
29:23
And he asked everybody to get more involved.
29:26
And what he said, he said that it's OK to be angry.
29:29
Anger is a natural reaction to life.
29:33
But when anger becomes hatred, that is not OK.
29:37
That is something we have to speak about.
29:39
Because if anger already turns into a destruction behavior,
29:43
that is not fine. And I was glad that he said it.
29:47
Very, very, very. He spoke very well on yesterday,
29:50
yesterday morning, and this is what I invite everybody
29:53
listening to this show because everybody could become a
29:57
chaplain, everybody could be there.
29:59
Bring your life experience, bring your skills, which only
30:03
you and you and me have. We were given specific skills in
30:08
life from our birth. Let's use those to help other
30:11
people. That's the only way out of this.
30:14
I was just curious, was there any accomplishment in terms of
30:16
meeting with the mayor, in terms of ideas of what can be done?
30:18
Because you know, what came out of it?
30:19
When a protest happens in New York City, like for example, now
30:23
it's happening almost every week.
30:25
You know, I, I, like I said, I'm a little bit nervous.
30:27
So like, what does the mayor do? About it.
30:28
Let's, let's, let's, let's understand one thing.
30:30
When you meet the mayor and his office and other commissions and
30:35
other services, you have to believe that since they are
30:39
government, they could do everything.
30:40
So you complain to them about everything.
30:43
The answer is they work a lot. They will not be able to answer
30:46
all all problems or to resolve everything.
30:49
So for example, one thing that I was speaking yesterday about is
30:53
sometimes from the shelters, from the asylum, asylum seekers,
30:58
which is 200,200 thousand people came to New York.
31:01
I don't know if you understand this.
31:02
Before the crisis we had 47,000 people in homeless shelters.
31:09
On top of this, we've got 200 more than 200,000 asylum seekers
31:14
who are now flooding the city. They don't know what to do with
31:18
this. They are so overwhelmed.
31:20
The problem we have as chaplains is sometimes the phone rings 50
31:23
* 1 night and for a week is nothing.
31:27
So I said to them maybe someone could coordinate so we get a
31:30
little bit every day. We can be overwhelmed with 50
31:32
phone calls because we don't have.
31:34
Who's actually calling you? Like, you know, if you need an
31:37
ambulance, you know, you call 911, you need A and a police
31:40
officer, you go, you call the police line, right?
31:43
How do you get in touch with a chaplain?
31:44
If somebody's in need of a chaplain who calls you like so,
31:46
let me how do you find your customers?
31:48
Let me explain. A chaplain is a center of
31:50
resources. A chaplain is a leader.
31:53
A chaplain who who's a chaplain and his community doesn't know
31:57
about him. He's not doing his job.
31:59
So you have spread around in different communities, in
32:02
different places where there are people who are ordained as a
32:05
chaplain. 32 states We are in 32 States and chaplains are pastors
32:14
from to rabbis to lawyers to doctors to.
32:18
Everyday people, everyday people that have other jobs to CE OS
32:23
CEO where they are also as a secondary, as a secondary skill.
32:27
They're also a chaplain. You said 32 states.
32:30
Why is this not nationwide? Because first of all, we don't
32:34
advertise, it's word of mouth. So, and that's amazing because
32:39
we grew to 600 chaplains plus based on word of mouth.
32:44
One second, there are 600 total chaplains in these 32 states.
32:48
In USCC in the United States Chaplain Corps, the Army has
32:53
3200 chaplains. Oh, that's part of the army.
32:56
That's for them, right? Internally.
32:58
And they need another 5000. There's a shortage of chaplains
33:02
and they pay very well. You know that you can make 36
33:05
figures after three years as a Champlain in the Army.
33:08
And they give you a house, they give you everything as plus
33:10
benefit. Really.
33:11
Yeah, So it's really an important job.
33:13
There. It is.
33:14
Why not bring this to everyday people living their lives that
33:18
are now suffering from traumatic events, just like people in the
33:20
Army are? You know, it's been it's
33:23
bleeding into our communities in so many ways.
33:25
Having chaplains is such a necessary thing.
33:28
I applaud you. I really do.
33:30
And everything that you're doing and the work that you're doing
33:32
because, you know, I think people are much more open today
33:34
to mental health issues than they ever were.
33:36
This was something that for many years was being, was being
33:38
shoved under the rug and it wasn't being talked about.
33:41
And now we're all recognizing that we we didn't do ourselves
33:43
any good by doing that. And it's just festering and it's
33:46
becoming worse. And it's just escalating.
33:49
And by diffusing it with chaplains, they're being made
33:52
available to to communities all over the place.
33:55
I mean, this has to be more publicized.
33:57
I don't know if I didn't know my community.
33:59
I wonder who's a chaplain of my community.
34:01
I mean, Michael actually doesn't live too far from me.
34:03
He's a chaplain. So maybe your community knows
34:05
about it. But there has to be more word of
34:08
mouth. We have to get this message out
34:10
that chaplains can really make a difference in people's lives.
34:14
I mean, this is really wonderful, what you're.
34:16
Doing they're not they could, they are, they are doing it.
34:19
We see our chaplains have to report once a month on one
34:24
mission. They do the way they are and
34:27
that's why they're in the way independent that they manage
34:30
their own time and their own missions.
34:32
But they have to stay active within the USCC.
34:34
So when we go to the system, we see them active.
34:36
OK, In order to continue being a chaplain, I receive hundreds of
34:40
thousands, literally thousands of mission reports every week
34:45
and read them. It's absolutely unbelievable.
34:48
You read mine. I What's the point that I read
34:51
every single one today? I can't anymore because there's
34:53
too much. Mehdi, you mentioned about the,
34:55
the Bava cheruba and how you have thousands of dollars.
34:57
I mean you actually have them hundreds, yes, hundreds,
35:00
hundreds. Is there a value now a monetary
35:02
value on those dollars? Yes, they, yes, actually I make
35:05
so I received them when I used to go to him and used to give me
35:09
coins and and dollars. Today I make a business to give
35:12
them out. Really.
35:14
Yeah, I give. Passing them along.
35:15
I give them out to people, to my friends, to my.
35:18
So you're now you're, you're your own version of a Reba
35:21
giving out dollars now. Well, I say I am my own dollar.
35:24
My buddy's my dollar. He's the conduit from No, no I.
35:26
Absolutely. I give dollars out because the
35:28
dollar has a lot of a significance.
35:31
There's an energy to it that people value.
35:34
There's a tremendous money. When you have one, you know
35:37
there there is what it is. The number of dollars out there
35:39
doesn't grow. It is.
35:40
I'm a very big believer in this. I gave one last week.
35:43
You know that you could take the serial number.
35:45
I just found this out this week. You take the serial number of a
35:47
dollar that you have and find your own picture of when you
35:51
went to the Rebbe based on a serial number and you can find
35:53
based on AI. They have a technology now on
35:55
the web, on a website where you could put in your face and you
35:58
find the facial recognition. I had the privilege to know the
36:01
Rebbe and to grow up with him and to meet him.
36:03
I used to speak to him in French.
36:05
You should know. He spoke French.
36:06
How many languages did the Rebbe speak?
36:08
Many, and French was one of them.
36:10
Fluently, he spoke. French.
36:11
He lived in France for eight years.
36:12
How would you say hello in French to the rabbit?
36:14
Bonjour. Why would you say hello to the
36:16
rabbit differently? I don't know so malaikum.
36:18
Hello. No, no, that's not French.
36:20
That's. Hebrew, you remember one day.
36:21
You say it in French. That's what I'm saying.
36:23
You say bonjour, bonjour. The rabbit speaks the same
36:25
French that every other person French person.
36:27
My mother wasn't well and I went.
36:30
I was young. I probably was maybe 15 or 16
36:33
years old. I came to New York.
36:35
I was in New York like every other or every holiday I was
36:39
there and I went to him and I asked him for a blessing for my
36:44
mother. And he looked at me and he gave
36:47
me wine, says tell your mother to drink it.
36:51
He poured your wine on the spot he was take it home to your
36:54
mother. And he said this is for your
36:56
mother. And when I left, I called my
36:58
mother and I came back to France and she drank it.
37:03
And there was. You kept that all the way back
37:06
to France. How did you, how did you store
37:09
it? How did you secure it?
37:11
When you left the Abbey after he gave you wine, they would sell
37:14
little plastic bottles of. Course, somebody made a
37:17
business. Of course, Of course.
37:19
I love it, though. I love it.
37:20
By the way, you know, I've learned this trick when
37:22
traveling. You know you can't take too much
37:24
liquid with you. Yeah, you know that, right?
37:26
A friend of mine taught me this. He takes wine and he pours into
37:30
Ziploc bags and he has separate zip lock bags so you could
37:34
travel with it. 3 oz right? Exactly.
37:37
Each bag is each bag unlimited bag you.
37:39
Could take different bags of three oz.
37:40
As long as it's 3 oz or less you could have different creams
37:42
right? So I could take like 53 ounce
37:45
bottles as long as you can use 3 ounces.
37:46
You might get arrested for other reasons.
37:48
Yeah. But I I imagine that they
37:49
accumulate it, I don't think. They give you a better idea on
37:52
the plane. They actually serve drinks.
37:54
Yeah, get drunk on the plane legally.
37:57
Not not wine that you got from the rabbit that you're attempted
37:59
to. Drink, you know, not for nothing
38:00
this you know, Lubavitch, I'm going to say cult.
38:03
I hope nobody gets offended by it.
38:04
I I happen to think that it's just what very unique community.
38:08
Let's community is probably a better word for I said cult.
38:10
I didn't mean it a negative. It's OK in a negative way, but
38:13
it's cult like in the sense that you guys are all intertwined
38:18
with one other. Like, I imagine when you meet
38:19
somebody else that's Lubavitch, you instantly feel connected to
38:23
that person, like right away that you share some type of bond
38:26
because of, you know, that you're following.
38:28
And I don't know if even other casitas have that type of
38:32
camaraderie between each other. And it's also so vast.
38:36
You know, the Bavage has grown into, it's a worldwide
38:39
phenomenon. You're everywhere.
38:41
What's your question, Sir? I'm not.
38:43
I don't have a question, but I'm going somewhere.
38:44
I'm going. Somewhere, I'm sorry.
38:45
It's also more identifiable. Their hats are smashed and their
38:48
beards are low. Yeah, they're features.
38:50
You can tell. One of the things that I'm
38:52
mostly and I think most people will tell you that one of the
38:55
biggest thing that stands out lavish is that you could go
38:58
anywhere in the world. And no matter where you are, I
39:01
don't care if you're in, if you're the Himalayas or if
39:04
you're you're, you're in, in in Iceland, wherever you might be,
39:06
there's going to be a Chabad house, there's going to be a
39:09
Lobavish place that is, is there just to host those people to
39:13
make sure that they have food to make sure that but.
39:14
That's the entertainment of Lobavish of Chabad.
39:17
Entertainment. It's.
39:18
Entertaining when you go somewhere you have nowhere to
39:20
go, when you need food and you need.
39:22
He's talking about from our perspective, from our
39:24
perspective when we everybody else, like the old saying is
39:26
wherever there's coke, there's habad.
39:28
So from our perspective, hey, you need to.
39:30
I think there's kabad in places that there aren't even coke,
39:32
where coke doesn't even go. They still go.
39:34
They go far. Ends of the world.
39:36
It's unbelievable, yeah. But you know, but take us
39:38
further into that. I'm going to tell.
39:39
You further, first of all you said when Habad meets another
39:42
Habad or Lobavi, right there is a there is a sense of
39:44
connection. Yes, I have to tell you that
39:46
connection is not per SE Habad to Habad or Lobavic.
39:50
Lobavic is about to just any Jew.
39:55
So it's about, it's about connecting with a brother,
39:58
connecting with a sister. I'm sorry, I undersold it.
40:01
He's right. It's not just kabad to kabad.
40:03
I I hear that it's kabad to really any other Jew.
40:06
Like they have a bigger connection than us have to each
40:08
other. I think kabad really
40:09
exemplifies. That I have to tell you, they're
40:11
ever was obsessed with two things, mainly two things, two
40:16
ideas. Number one was time.
40:20
Time was of the essence. Not just one time during the
40:24
day, but every second, people would come to him and say, hey,
40:27
look what I did. This is what I built, this is
40:29
what I've done. This is the book.
40:31
The first thing that every would do is give another dollar or
40:34
another blessing for the next one.
40:35
One second. Once I one second Rebbe, I just
40:39
kill myself for this. Did you?
40:40
Hear what I just told you? Right.
40:42
No, this is the past. Move forward.
40:45
The idea of moving forward, it's but time.
40:49
Time is so important. Don't waste time, number one.
40:53
Number two, he was obsessed with love because we are born with
41:01
it. Life changes it, but we are when
41:07
we born, we know what love is and we lose it.
41:13
And he says to us, catch it, It's it's within you.
41:16
Just just get it back. Because when you do it, hatred
41:19
goes away, resentments goes away, pain goes away, anxiety,
41:24
stress and so on. So every second of the day there
41:28
is an opportunity to grow and to be free of this demonic life
41:33
that we live in, which is crazy. I have to ask you, you know, to
41:36
be a breast live classic, right? To join that cult, so to speak,
41:41
you have to go to Uman. I think there's like 3 rules
41:43
from what I understand. You have to study the teaching
41:47
and you have to do what's called his bodidut, which means, you
41:49
know, isolation. Those are three things.
41:52
Like, you know, I've asked people in the past, hey you know
41:53
what I like this whole breast lift thing.
41:55
What do I need to do to be a part of it?
41:57
Mehndi, What do I need to do to be part of Khabad?
42:00
Love, love people and you. Are you say I don't have to grow
42:03
my beard? OK.
42:05
What? What else is there?
42:06
Is there love people? Anybody could just become
42:08
Chabad. Love people.
42:09
It's so easy to hate. It's so easy to.
42:11
You know, hate and love are both four letter words.
42:14
Hate is 4 letters, and so is love.
42:16
Success and failure also has the same amount of letters.
42:19
And there's a whole list of these things.
42:22
Yeah, you can count it. Yeah.
42:25
Isn't that fascinating, Right. Because for the you know, you
42:28
could channel your energies for one way or another way equally
42:31
as much. So here's an insight on this.
42:34
OK, light and darkness. Darkness is not the opposite of
42:39
light. It's the absence of light.
42:40
The absence of light. So when you bring light in
42:43
darkness, darkness evaporates. Same thing with love and hatred.
42:47
When there's so much hatred and you mention you go to Manhattan,
42:49
you see, you feel hatred, you feel, you know, that people that
42:52
hate out there. And what does he do to me?
42:55
Well, he makes me fear. I'm afraid, I'm fearful, I'm
42:59
anxious, I'm stressed and so on. Creates pain.
43:03
Sometimes we feel we have to engage them to undo that and the
43:07
answer is not true. The answer is to engage first is
43:11
to create in our self love. So when you feel afraid, do
43:15
something. Loving anything.
43:18
That's beautiful. Do something that's very
43:20
helpful. And that will basically
43:21
dissipate. That's really good advice.
43:24
I mean, I feel like that's. So.
43:26
And he's translating that into being Chabad, that way of life,
43:29
which is beautiful as well. It's just like hate is the
43:32
absence of love, so pain is also the absence of feeling good.
43:36
So if you want to eliminate that pain or you want to lessen that
43:39
pain, it's to hone in on the positive.
43:41
Things and that's why on the good.
43:43
Things and that will slowly diminish the pain.
43:46
By the way, very insightful, very insightful.
43:49
I want to share one. You know, I'm using your
43:51
services right now. You know, you're a chaplain and
43:53
I want to tap into this. And I'm, I'm, by the way, I'm
43:56
going to be a big advocate for this because I really believe
43:58
that chaplains, you guys are trained in, in so many different
44:02
things that, you know, you could really bring a lot of value to
44:05
so many lives. And you need to, we need to, we
44:08
need to make this bigger. We need to magnify this.
44:11
And I want to tell you one of my fears, one of my anxieties.
44:14
And this is for me, something that I live with all the time,
44:17
OK. And I want to give you an
44:18
example, and I'm going to get a little emotional about it
44:20
because I, I, it's about my family.
44:22
And I promise you all the time, Michael, I have this fear, OK.
44:26
And I, I, I imagine others too. When I take my kid to a movie
44:31
theater, my son, I've taken him a couple of times.
44:35
And as a treat, my son loves, you know, to go to a movie
44:37
theater. It's like a big deal for him.
44:38
And I only save it for like, you know, when he really deserves
44:40
it, you know, a big award, big accomplishment.
44:43
I take him. I do not rest the entire movie.
44:49
I'm just sitting on guard. I make sure to take a seat at
44:52
the very top so I can keep my eyes across the entire movie
44:55
theater because I have this anxiety in a public place like
44:59
that where we're easy targets at.
45:00
Some psychopath is going to come in there and shoot up the place.
45:04
And we've all heard this, these stories that's happened before.
45:07
And any public place that I go to a theme park, when I'm with
45:10
my kids, when I'm by myself, I don't think about it as much.
45:13
When I'm with my kids, I go to a public place, I'm on alert.
45:17
I'm on constant alert of something bad's going to happen.
45:21
And I want to be there to protect my kid.
45:22
And I, I promise every kid that every person that leaves the
45:25
movie theater, in or out, I'm watching this and where they
45:27
going? What are they doing?
45:28
You know, And if I see someone who says I'll grab my kid and
45:30
I'm about to run, I don't know, I'm on.
45:31
Alert. I have to.
45:33
I have this fear. I have to ask Mandy before you
45:34
give your response to it. Does your kid?
45:36
Feel it? No, I don't think so.
45:38
He doesn't. I've never told him.
45:39
Right, he doesn't know this. No, my kid's seven years old.
45:41
Sure, sure. I didn't let him in on what's
45:43
going on, what's going on, my mind.
45:44
No, not at all. My kid doesn't feel he's
45:46
oblivious to it. My kid's oblivious to it.
45:48
But I certainly have this anxiety and this fear.
45:51
What's the question? My question is, how do I, how do
45:54
I alleviate that fear? I know that it's not so
45:57
realistic. I know the odds of something
45:59
happening like this is so miniscule.
46:01
I know that. But yet still it's on my mind
46:03
and I and I and I have this anxiety.
46:05
Get a carrying permit. You can't just carry with by the
46:09
way, I did, I did. I got a carrying permit about a
46:11
year ago. I did get one because everything
46:14
that's going on in this world and I think everybody should get
46:16
a carrying permit. We should all be prepared.
46:18
If they go through the classes every week.
46:20
Yeah, yeah, for sure. But you can't just take it with
46:22
you. I we disagree.
46:23
I'm not going to go to a public place.
46:25
I disagree. I disagree with guns.
46:28
I don't I don't think guns are the answers.
46:33
I don't think carrying a gun will help you because even if
46:36
you use it, you're going to get in trouble, right?
46:38
OK, if you use it for self-defense.
46:39
So. There's got to be a better way.
46:41
So, so the first thing that I, I can tell you is that there's a
46:45
lot of negative energy that comes to you on a daily basis
46:49
from somewhere. Could be from the news, it could
46:52
be from the Internet, but your mind is constantly thinking
46:55
about something negative, OK? And I wouldn't be surprised if
46:59
it's the news or the Internet, because that's what most people.
47:01
Go through. It has to be the Internet.
47:02
I've seen lots of these flips of the school shootings and things
47:05
like that. It's the Internet, 100% the
47:07
Internet. I also do listen to podcasts, OK
47:10
News podcast and you know what he does to me?
47:14
It makes me anxious and puts me on the verge on a Cliff.
47:20
So I'm now looking and I'm seeing everything.
47:22
What does it help? Does it help me in anything?
47:25
The answer is 0. Makes it worse.
47:28
OK, so if I'm going to be on my guards constantly because I'm
47:32
listening to what's going on in the world, which is absolutely
47:34
insane. We live in a very, very
47:36
dysfunctional world and dysfunction is constantly, how
47:42
can we really, how can we survive this?
47:45
So you have this challenge when you take your son to a movie
47:47
theater. He has this challenge when he
47:49
goes to Manhattan. I have this challenge when I go
47:51
to a restaurant or take the subway.
47:54
I don't take the subway anymore. I'm afraid because I have to
47:56
always be looking around. So how do we going to live?
48:00
If we're going to let the outside negative energy get
48:03
coming to us, then we're not going to live.
48:07
Our lifestyle is going to go down.
48:11
Pain, stress, anxiety and so on is going to establish itself and
48:15
it's very hard to get out of it. The only thing that I think we
48:19
could do, and that's what I do myself, is to minimize our
48:23
exposure to the news because it's entertaining.
48:27
All those podcasts, all those newspapers, what do they do?
48:32
They want you to read it. They.
48:33
Want fear mongering? Right.
48:34
And why are they doing this? Because they have to sell ads at
48:38
the end. It's a business for them.
48:40
So we without knowing we're smart people, but without
48:42
knowing we got hooked on those loops that constantly going,
48:48
they make money, they're happy. I could guarantee you that a guy
48:52
like those big podcasts, without mentioning names, they don't
48:57
really care about how you feel. They want you to listen because
49:02
when you listen to a podcast, they have numbers and those
49:04
numbers that sell those numbers. So the more people listen, the
49:06
more money they make. What does it do to you?
49:10
Well, you know what it does to me.
49:10
I'm anxious. Every time I take my son, I'm
49:12
anxious. Every time I go to the subway,
49:13
I'm anxious. Yeah, Mandy, I really appreciate
49:17
that perspective. And you asked me to raise the
49:19
alarm when we're out of time because I know you have a busy
49:22
schedule ahead of you and we are about to run out of time.
49:26
So I just wanna end with saying Mendy, it has been so nice
49:30
getting to know you on the air. I I'm so thrilled that I got to
49:34
introduce you to my Co host Ushi and the the.
49:36
Pleasure was all mine and Michael like if you know of any
49:40
other people in your life that are half of what this man is
49:45
say. That stay tuned guys.
49:46
You are you are holding back and you're not helping.
49:48
And I don't appreciate it. I don't, I don't appreciate.
49:51
It we're getting there and I have to tell you.
49:52
Withholding from me, you know, because this was like spur of
49:55
the moment as well, OK. And this is like Mendy, like
49:58
you, you know, you should be proud of yourself.
50:00
What you, what you're doing is, is there's a place for you in
50:03
the next World that's reserved. And I I'm, I'm envious of you.
50:07
Like, I'm not going to make it there.
50:08
And, and lots of us are. But you, you'll be surprised.
50:10
People like you have a special place in the next World.
50:14
Yeah. Wait.
50:14
Don't you say I have a place that I'll make sure for you to
50:16
have a space next to me? Like that, Grab me when you see
50:18
me, grab on to me, Take whoever you're going just.
50:22
Just listen. We all have gems into ourselves
50:24
and we have to take them out. Stop being silent.
50:30
Come out. Really.
50:31
Come out. Everybody has good.
50:33
You give me a call, I'll make sure.
50:35
I love that. On that note, and we'll finish
50:38
with this about coming out, we have to ask you because we like
50:41
to end the None of Your Business podcast with asking our Co host.
50:44
Who would you recommend would be a good person to be on the
50:48
podcast? I have to tell you that should
50:49
come out and speak with. Us, I have to tell you, first of
50:52
all, many people #2 if you make this podcast as interesting as
50:56
it is today, I'm going to listen to the every single.
50:58
Week. Oh, we got a new listener.
51:00
We got a new listener. I have.
51:01
You have me already. So OK, excellent.
51:04
I know that we could say the name and everything.
51:07
You can say the name I. Know that you went.
51:09
We're all waiting with a bated breath.
51:11
You went to an event last week and you met a person who really
51:16
made some kind of effect on you. And you asked me do I know him?
51:20
And I told you I know him. Who was that?
51:22
His name is Mandy Kotlasky. Mandy, who call him Mandy, I
51:27
want to call him I want. To see if he is very, very busy
51:29
guy, Mandy. We could do hours and hours with
51:31
him. I mean he is a force to be
51:34
reckoned with. I mean, tell us a little bit
51:35
about him and then get him on the horn.
51:37
What? What's so The Kotlasky family
51:41
goes back many generations, but Rabbi Moshe Kotasky was the head
51:45
of the all the emissaries, the Chabad emissaries in the world
51:48
passed away about a month ago. That's maybe six or about 5
51:52
weeks ago, six weeks ago. And his son Mandy, who's been
51:57
working with him, took over. So he's basically managing the
52:02
Chabad and I think we should give him a call.
52:05
So he's like the parent company for all of these emissaries
52:09
around the world for Chabad. Wow, he must have a lot of
52:12
stories to. Tell he runs Chabad on Campus,
52:15
which I have to give a hello to Rabbi Yasi Gordon who is the
52:20
executive director of Havana on campus and he's doing an
52:22
amazing. On that note, I have to give a
52:24
hello to Rabbi Avi Weinstein, who overseas the Havana on
52:27
campus. Let's get him on.
52:28
Hi, is this Mandy? I am here with Haim Greenfield.
52:31
You met him at the wedding? No Haim has a very important
52:35
podcast in the community and he wants to invite you to be.
52:38
Honest with you, General, my answer is yes to things.
52:42
I I just have to tell you, Sir, we haven't met yet, but I'm
52:45
already inspired by you because by the mere fact that you said
52:48
that you're lately saying yes to everything.
52:51
That is fascinating. And I want to hear all about
52:53
that. What?
52:54
And it's such a positive way to live your life.
52:56
Start saying yes to things. Why are we always knowing things
52:59
all the time? Our first instinct is to say no.
53:01
And then I'll think about it. Maybe your first instinct is to
53:04
say yes and we would all probably miss out on a lot less
53:07
if we said yes to more things. So I'm, I think you're actually
53:10
extremely interesting just by the first thing you said.
53:14
You've got lots to offer. So I'm excited.
53:16
I'm looking forward to doing a podcast with you.
53:18
Mandy, thank you so much for that attempt.
53:20
I hope it works out and we give you a lot of credit for
53:23
everything that you're doing personally, professionally, and
53:26
intertwining your personal and professional life to always be
53:28
helping others. Amazing.
53:31
I'm I'm at a loss of words. Yeah, yeah.
53:32
So much so that I would love to talk to you offline to see how I
53:35
can advocate for this, how I can be a part of this, to spread the
53:38
word and get this messaging out because I think a lot of people
53:40
could benefit from this. Mandy, thank you.
53:42
Such a pleasure. Thank you so much for being
53:43
here. I appreciate it.
53:44
Thank you, Mandy. Thank you.
53:45
It was an honor. It really was.
53:46
Thank you. It was a true honor.
53:47
Wow. All I could say is wow.
53:49
I mean, I loved watching you getting to know Mandy.
53:53
I loved watching you as an average American Jewish person
53:58
learning about what a chaplaincy is.
54:00
We learned so much from this session and that we had today.
54:03
We learned about time, the preciousness of time.
54:06
We learned about love and the idea that that's what it takes
54:09
to be Chabad. We're talking about giving and
54:12
the opposite of giving and the importance of it.
54:15
The search and rescue from the Surfside disaster.
54:17
I mean, there were a lot of teachable moments.
54:19
The main one for me is learning how precious time is and learn
54:22
how important love is. Michael, I want you to know that
54:27
during the podcast for me, I'm discovering what I'm actually
54:31
really loving about this is I get to meet these kinds of
54:35
people. I had no idea about the true
54:39
nature of what a chaplain does. It was, this is completely new
54:43
to me. That's a totally new landscape
54:45
and I'm so happy because I was missing out on this information
54:49
until now. So quite frankly, I don't care
54:52
the people that are listening to the podcast, what they're taking
54:54
away from this just for the mere fact what I've learned to come
54:58
in this podcast is incredible. It's absolutely incredible that
55:01
people that were me that we're bringing on now, I mean, they
55:04
have so much to share. And finally, you know, we're
55:06
giving these people apply from a guy like this.
55:09
He's never been on a podcast. He's never been exposed.
55:12
Nobody knows what he does and what what he's about, where he's
55:15
been and where he's going. And I'm so thrilled that we had
55:18
the chance to sit with him and get to know him a little bit.
55:20
And what did we do? We did like, you know, 40
55:22
minutes with him. We could have done five hours
55:24
with. Him yeah, yeah, it's amazing.
55:26
I love watching ourselves get vulnerable.
55:27
I love watching you get vulnerable and the things that
55:29
we can learn. And I have to mention, thank you
55:32
again to Prime Source for sponsoring the None of Your
55:34
Business podcast. And I ask everyone to like,
55:36
subscribe, follow, engage. You know, people have been
55:40
giving us amazing follow up about the Lightning Round.
55:42
We started this off with the Lightning Round and set the tone
55:44
for the podcast of what we're trying to do with our theme of
55:47
meshing our personal and professional lives and adapting,
55:51
you know, stories and debates and learning from it.
55:53
And and we're having a great time doing it, obviously.
55:55
Yeah, I know. I'm loving it.
55:56
I I really learned a lot today. And I'm also learned that a lot
55:59
of these people, they've experienced so much and they're
56:02
doing so much that they have a lot of worldly advice as well
56:05
that's applicable to anyone. Anybody can take that away from
56:08
it. Not necessarily just because,
56:10
you know, you're a chaplain, you're not a chaplain.
56:11
Who cares What he was saying today, The messaging was, was so
56:15
profound. And I, and I'll just share with
56:17
you one thing that really stuck with me is he was describing
56:21
when someone's in pain and when someone's going through a
56:24
difficult time in their life. It's not about trying to lessen
56:28
the pain and telling someone, get over it, snap out of it or
56:32
don't harp on it. You know, don't harp on the
56:34
pain. And that's how you'll no, no,
56:35
no, no. The pain is there.
56:37
Acknowledge it. It's real and it's going to stay
56:40
there. And the way to subside that pain
56:44
is to focus also on the good, on the positive, on the nice thing
56:50
that's happening in your life, the good things that are
56:52
happening around you. And in the absence of darkness,
56:57
in the absence of light is darkness, right?
57:00
In the absence of good is when there is pain.
57:03
And if you start focusing more on the good things, then the
57:07
pain will slowly start moving away and it will slowly lessen.
57:11
And This is why people say you are who you hang around with
57:15
100%. You are who you hang around with
57:18
because that is what you surrounded yourself with.
57:20
And that's ultimately where you're going to be, right?
57:22
Yep, and don't forget we are in this together and we're here to
57:26
learn from one another. And I'm loving everything about
57:28
this podcast and I'm looking forward to more to come.
57:31
This was amazing. All right.
57:32
Thank you. Till next time, everybody.