Latest / Cyrus Webb's tracks / Author/Speaker/Podcast Host Damian Lewis talks CALL ME FIRST on Cyrus Webb Presents
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Cyrus Web Presents. I'm
- 0:02Speaker 1: your host, Cyrus Webb. Glad you all could join us
- 0:04Speaker 1: once again. Also, for those tuning in on the radio
- 0:06Speaker 1: side of Mississippi, WYED 94.1 FM and WYEDonline.com, we're glad
- 0:12Speaker 1: that you all can be with us. Those tuning in
- 0:14Speaker 1: on our simulcast on social media, we appreciate you guys
- 0:16Speaker 1: being with us as well. And last but certainly not least,
- 0:18Speaker 1: we're going to connect with our friends over on Amazon
- 0:20Speaker 1: Live so they can be a part of our chat today.
- 0:22Speaker 1: We have a very special guest that's joining us for
- 0:24Speaker 1: the first time here on Cyrus Web Presents. He wrote
- 0:27Speaker 1: a book I had a chance to read that I
- 0:28Speaker 1: think you guys are going to really enjoy. This is
- 0:30Speaker 1: a book that's great for men, but also a great
- 0:32Speaker 1: discussion piece, I think, for families as well. So we're
- 0:35Speaker 1: going to let you guys know how to stay connected
- 0:36Speaker 1: with the author as well as his movement too. We're
- 0:39Speaker 1: now live on the Amazon Live side of our broadcast
- 0:42Speaker 1: with Cyrus Ware Presents. If you guys are new to
- 0:44Speaker 1: us on Amazon, welcome. Make sure you guys do hit
- 0:46Speaker 1: that follow button either here in this corner or down below.
- 0:49Speaker 1: You also will see the book and the podcast by
- 0:52Speaker 1: our next guest. We're excited to welcome Cyrus. Damian Lewis,
- 0:54Speaker 1: to our broadcast today. He's the author of the book,
- 0:57Speaker 1: Call Me First. Also, that's the title of his movement
- 0:59Speaker 1: as well. I want to talk to Damian, not only
- 1:01Speaker 1: about the writing of the book, but what it's been
- 1:03Speaker 1: like for him to share his own personal story, but
- 1:06Speaker 1: what he hopes he's able to do, not only for men,
- 1:07Speaker 1: but also helping us all to be able to better
- 1:10Speaker 1: coexist in the family as well.
- 1:11Speaker 2: Damian, thank you again for stopping by, man. I really
- 1:13Speaker 2: appreciate it.
- 1:14Speaker 3: Cyrus, thank you for having me, man.
- 1:15Speaker 4: Thank you for all the support that you have given
- 1:17Speaker 4: me over the last couple months and how well you
- 1:19Speaker 4: have went on ahead and pushed the movement for me
- 1:22Speaker 4: and just showed me It's a tremendous amount of love.
- 1:24Speaker 3: I appreciate it, man.
- 1:26Speaker 2: Man, glad to do it.
- 1:27Speaker 1: One thing about me, man, as a book nerd, Damien,
- 1:31Speaker 1: is that when I discover a book that I enjoy,
- 1:33Speaker 1: I love to be able to share it with our audience.
- 1:36Speaker 1: Let's start there, Damien, because I think anyone who's taking
- 1:39Speaker 1: the time to read, call me first. And again, for
- 1:41Speaker 1: our audience joining us here on Amazon, you guys can
- 1:43Speaker 1: be able to grab it for yourself. Those joining us
- 1:45Speaker 1: on social, see the link. What has that been like
- 1:47Speaker 1: for you to be able to share your own personal
- 1:49Speaker 1: journey in this book and to see the way that
- 1:51Speaker 1: so many people, Damien, are connecting with it?
- 1:54Speaker 3: You know what, Cyrus?
- 1:57Speaker 4: The reception that I got from the book, it was
- 1:59Speaker 4: something that I never even thought was going to be possible.
- 2:02Speaker 4: It was something that I never even imagined it would
- 2:05Speaker 4: win as far as it did. Because when I wrote
- 2:07Speaker 4: the book, I didn't write it thinking I was going
- 2:09Speaker 4: to sell as many copies as I did.
- 2:11Speaker 3: I wrote it pretty much as a blueprint memoir.
- 2:15Speaker 4: In my brains, I'm writing it for my sons because
- 2:18Speaker 4: I didn't have perfect leadership. I didn't even have a Uh,
- 2:22Speaker 4: an example of what leadership really was in a home.
- 2:26Speaker 3: And I wrote it for them in a way.
- 2:28Speaker 4: And then I'm saying, if I'm writing it for them,
- 2:31Speaker 4: maybe after maybe another man can get something from it,
- 2:33Speaker 4: but it was just like, I'm putting literature out for
- 2:36Speaker 4: my sons and it wound up being something that other
- 2:39Speaker 4: men were able to gravitate to and learn something from.
- 2:43Speaker 1: And I think that's the powerful thing I mentioned to
- 2:45Speaker 1: you before we went live here, that there were some
- 2:47Speaker 1: sections that I wanted to share.
- 2:49Speaker 2: With their audience.
- 2:50Speaker 1: And what I love about this book, Damon, is for
- 2:52Speaker 1: one thing, the honesty, but also the practicality, right? Because
- 2:57Speaker 1: the thing is, none of us do everything perfectly, especially
- 3:00Speaker 1: when it comes to communicating, showing up.
- 3:02Speaker 2: And you really acknowledge that in the book.
- 3:04Speaker 1: And for those who have the print edition of the
- 3:06Speaker 1: book on page 44, one of the things that you
- 3:08Speaker 1: talk about is how we can lead our home better.
- 3:11Speaker 1: And it's just small things that you give there. And
- 3:14Speaker 1: this is what you say after you share five simple things.
- 3:17Speaker 1: You say this, None of that costs money, but it
- 3:20Speaker 1: builds threefold wealth, emotional, relational, and generational. If you don't
- 3:25Speaker 1: make time for those things now, you'll be forced to
- 3:28Speaker 1: make time for damage control later. And then you said this,
- 3:32Speaker 1: and this is to me one of the most powerful
- 3:34Speaker 1: parts of the book, Damien. You say, I used to
- 3:36Speaker 1: think leadership was about fixing everything. Now I know it's
- 3:40Speaker 1: about being someone that can count on when things aren't fixed.
- 3:44Speaker 2: Talk to us about that and what that revelation was
- 3:46Speaker 2: like for you.
- 3:50Speaker 3: You know what?
- 3:54Speaker 4: Once you realize, when you get a little bit of
- 3:56Speaker 4: experience in life, you start realizing that you can give
- 4:00Speaker 4: a lot.
- 4:01Speaker 3: You can give, give, give, give. I'm talking about material,
- 4:03Speaker 3: tangible things. You can give, give, give.
- 4:05Speaker 4: But later on in life, sometimes people just want to know.
- 4:09Speaker 4: People just want to know that they have someone in
- 4:11Speaker 4: their corner. Someone that they can rely on. Someone that
- 4:14Speaker 4: won't push them away. Someone that is there. So that is,
- 4:18Speaker 4: that's the entire movement of what call me first is.
- 4:20Speaker 4: Call me first. It means literally for a man to
- 4:23Speaker 4: tell his family, call me first. I'm going to be
- 4:25Speaker 4: there to support you emotionally. I'm going to be there
- 4:28Speaker 4: to support you, whatever you need. If you, if you
- 4:29Speaker 4: have something to celebrate, call me. If you're going through
- 4:33Speaker 4: a tough time, call me. I'll be there for you.
- 4:35Speaker 4: Even if I can't give you an answer, you don't
- 4:37Speaker 4: want an answer. You just need someone to talk to.
- 4:39Speaker 3: You want to vent. I'm dad. I'm husband. Call me.
- 4:43Speaker 4: I'm here for you. Don't ever feel like you don't
- 4:45Speaker 4: have anybody. That's what I'm here for. Call me first.
- 4:49Speaker 1: And I think for you to be able to show up, Damien,
- 4:53Speaker 1: and to be someone that people see that they can
- 4:55Speaker 1: be able to rely on, because that's really what a
- 4:57Speaker 1: lot of this book is.
- 4:59Speaker 2: And that's why I'm.
- 5:00Speaker 1: So glad that you wrote it, but also glad that
- 5:02Speaker 1: you've been discussing it the way that you have. Because,
- 5:04Speaker 1: you know, one thing as someone who reads hundreds of
- 5:06Speaker 1: books a year, you know, I'm always surprised. And I
- 5:09Speaker 1: will say there's been a shift now. And how many
- 5:11Speaker 1: times we don't see.
- 5:12Speaker 2: The good guys that are out there, the guys.
- 5:15Speaker 1: Who are not perfect, but they're trying that they're, you know,
- 5:19Speaker 1: they're not stereotypical. They really are doing the best they
- 5:22Speaker 1: can and trying to be better. This is the kind
- 5:25Speaker 1: of book for them. You know, the ones who people
- 5:28Speaker 1: have given up on, who said what they can't be,
- 5:30Speaker 1: who they want to judge by their past, but people
- 5:32Speaker 1: will still trying to move forward. This book is for them.
- 5:36Speaker 1: Did you know though, that you would connect with people
- 5:39Speaker 1: that would actually embrace the message as you do in
- 5:42Speaker 1: this book, that sometimes it's okay not to be okay with,
- 5:45Speaker 1: and how even part of our strength is acknowledging that.
- 5:49Speaker 4: Cyrus, it was a hope that it would connect with anybody.
- 5:52Speaker 4: It was a hope that somebody would get value from it.
- 5:55Speaker 4: And I had Kyle on my show the other day,
- 5:59Speaker 4: and Kyle asked me, when you first put this out,
- 6:03Speaker 4: how many books did you expect to sell? I was
- 6:05Speaker 4: saying maybe 100. Over a lifetime, I would have been
- 6:10Speaker 4: happy to sell 100 books. I'm saying, okay, 100 people
- 6:12Speaker 4: may have gotten something of value. Maybe not all of them,
- 6:15Speaker 4: but something of value. I was able to help someone.
- 6:17Speaker 4: So that was the whole thing. It's like when I
- 6:20Speaker 4: put this out, I was hoping to get somebody to have,
- 6:23Speaker 4: even if it would have changed one person's life, Cyrus,
- 6:26Speaker 4: that would have been good enough for me. And the
- 6:28Speaker 4: thing about it now is I come to realize that
- 6:31Speaker 4: there are so many of us that were written off
- 6:33Speaker 4: in a way. And we do want to be better.
- 6:36Speaker 4: We do want to try. We do want to expand
- 6:39Speaker 4: on what we know. We do want to break the cycle.
- 6:41Speaker 4: And sometimes we don't know exactly how. So the message
- 6:44Speaker 4: inside of my book helps a guy get over that hump.
- 6:47Speaker 4: And I'm glad I was able to, you know, deliver
- 6:50Speaker 4: that amount of value to anybody, even if it was
- 6:52Speaker 4: just one person.
- 6:54Speaker 2: So true. I see you guys coming over there on YouTube, IGN,
- 6:56Speaker 2: on Amazon.
- 6:58Speaker 1: ESP presents on Amazon.
- 7:00Speaker 2: Damien says, love it. I'm going to get the book.
- 7:03Speaker 1: Women are saying that men are showing emotional that that's well,
- 7:08Speaker 1: that they're not the only ones in a relationship that
- 7:10Speaker 1: can do that. I'm going to get his book. I
- 7:12Speaker 1: appreciate it. And that's the whole thing. I think knowing
- 7:14Speaker 1: that we are human beings, I think that's the big thing.
- 7:16Speaker 1: Daybreak197 on IG says, great insight. The cover of the
- 7:19Speaker 1: book makes me automatically want to know what's inside.
- 7:22Speaker 4: Cool.
- 7:23Speaker 2: Thanks.
- 7:24Speaker 1: I appreciate that. Visage, hello to you over there on
- 7:27Speaker 1: IG as well. And that's the thing. So, you know,
- 7:29Speaker 1: and that kind of comes to the whole thing of allies, right, Damien?
- 7:32Speaker 1: You know, it's so funny. I've talked to, you know,
- 7:34Speaker 1: a lot of women who write books. you know, trying
- 7:36Speaker 1: to help women in situations, but then they have men
- 7:39Speaker 1: as allies. What has it been like for you to
- 7:40Speaker 1: have now girlfriends and wives wanting to be that ally
- 7:45Speaker 1: for that man in their life that is trying to
- 7:47Speaker 1: be that person they can call on?
- 7:49Speaker 3: You know what it is, too, though?
- 7:51Speaker 4: For a man to have that type of support from
- 7:53Speaker 4: a woman, I don't think women understand this. Like when
- 7:57Speaker 4: a man is down on his luck or things are
- 8:01Speaker 4: rough for him, when you come and give him that support,
- 8:04Speaker 4: that push in the back and you, what we call
- 8:06Speaker 4: it from where I'm from, you put that battery in
- 8:09Speaker 4: his back, you give him that boost of energy, the
- 8:11Speaker 4: things that he will be able to do, knowing he
- 8:14Speaker 4: has someone supporting him, especially if he never had it,
- 8:17Speaker 4: you wouldn't, the things that he's going to do for you, like, man,
- 8:20Speaker 4: like I always say, that man will run through a
- 8:22Speaker 4: brick wall for you.
- 8:24Speaker 3: He'll run through a brick wall for you. He'll go
- 8:27Speaker 3: and bring you to the moon if he has to.
- 8:29Speaker 3: He just needs that support.
- 8:30Speaker 4: So just to know that, well, That conglomerate of people,
- 8:35Speaker 4: husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, whatever it is, that
- 8:39Speaker 4: support that happens in that aspect, this is something that
- 8:44Speaker 4: I totally live by and I promote a lot. I
- 8:48Speaker 4: want that support from the woman. I want that support
- 8:51Speaker 4: from the man for his woman. It's something that's been
- 8:54Speaker 4: missing a lot. And then again, too, real quick, I
- 8:57Speaker 4: don't want to hold off too much on this one.
- 8:58Speaker 2: No, no, no, go ahead.
- 9:01Speaker 4: What happens in a lot of situations is people don't
- 9:06Speaker 4: speak their expectations, meaning that you're going with a set
- 9:12Speaker 4: of expectations that nobody knows about. And if you were
- 9:15Speaker 4: just to open your mouth and say, listen, I need
- 9:17Speaker 4: this support from time to time. Or the flip side
- 9:20Speaker 4: of that is, listen, I'm here for you. Whatever you need,
- 9:23Speaker 4: tell me what you need me to do. And I'll
- 9:26Speaker 4: get it done for you. These are the support factors
- 9:28Speaker 4: that people are missing. People are afraid to ask for it.
- 9:31Speaker 4: And then people are afraid to offer it. If you're
- 9:34Speaker 4: with somebody, you love them, you want the best for it.
- 9:37Speaker 4: There is no such thing as humility. Do what you
- 9:39Speaker 4: have to do for the success of your relationship.
- 9:42Speaker 3: Do it.
- 9:43Speaker 4: Right.
- 9:43Speaker 3: That's what we're here for.
- 9:45Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 9:45Speaker 1: And I think that's the whole definition there of being
- 9:48Speaker 1: in a partnership.
- 9:49Speaker 3: Right.
- 9:49Speaker 1: I mean, I think that that's the thing to know.
- 9:51Speaker 1: That also leads to the second thing I wanted to mention.
- 9:55Speaker 1: And you say this in Chapter 9 of the book.
- 9:58Speaker 1: The chapter is protect your peace or lose everything you're building.
- 10:02Speaker 1: I love this point because you say this about yourself.
- 10:06Speaker 1: You say protecting your peace isn't selfish. It's actually one
- 10:10Speaker 1: of the most selfless things you can do. Because when
- 10:13Speaker 1: you protect your peace, you protect your ability to lead, love,
- 10:16Speaker 1: and provide for those who depend on you. If you
- 10:19Speaker 1: don't get this part right, nothing else in this book matters.
- 10:22Speaker 1: I want to talk about that because sometimes we feel
- 10:25Speaker 1: like we just have to to do everything, be everything
- 10:30Speaker 1: and let people just kind of do whatever. And we're
- 10:33Speaker 1: supposed to take it. You know, one thing I've definitely
- 10:35Speaker 1: learned in my life is that, you know, you have
- 10:38Speaker 1: to set those barriers down. You have to be able
- 10:40Speaker 1: to do that so that you can show up for
- 10:42Speaker 1: those who matter. What was it about that point that
- 10:45Speaker 1: made you realize, Damien, that that is really the key,
- 10:48Speaker 1: being able to protect your peace and to know how
- 10:51Speaker 1: to set those boundaries?
- 10:54Speaker 4: When you realize how much something outside of what you're
- 10:59Speaker 4: actually supposed to be doing, when you realize how much
- 11:02Speaker 4: those things can knock you off your pivot foot, they
- 11:05Speaker 4: can knock you off your goal, they can You ever
- 11:08Speaker 4: get into a disagreement with someone, maybe, I don't know,
- 11:12Speaker 4: maybe at work or something.
- 11:14Speaker 3: And then it sits with you all day that whatever
- 11:16Speaker 3: that disagreement was.
- 11:17Speaker 4: And to the point now you come home, now you're
- 11:19Speaker 4: a bit distant from your family, a bit distant from
- 11:21Speaker 4: your lady, a bit distant from your kids because something
- 11:24Speaker 4: happened at work.
- 11:25Speaker 3: And that what it did was it disturbed your peace.
- 11:28Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
- 11:29Speaker 4: So I started realizing that as certain arguments and certain discussions,
- 11:34Speaker 4: I'm just not going to be a part of anymore.
- 11:36Speaker 4: Because I'm experienced enough now to know what these type
- 11:39Speaker 4: of arguments, these type of conversations, what they do to
- 11:42Speaker 4: my mental sometimes. And I say, nah, I'm blocking that off.
- 11:45Speaker 4: And it's a saying that I put in a book, too,
- 11:47Speaker 4: maybe somewhere in that same chapter there, that says you
- 11:50Speaker 4: don't have to show up to every argument that you're
- 11:53Speaker 4: invited to.
- 11:54Speaker 3: You don't. You don't. You can choose. I'm not. Nah,
- 11:58Speaker 3: I'm not getting in that one.
- 11:59Speaker 4: Nah.
- 12:00Speaker 3: The same for me. You know what? Have a good day.
- 12:02Speaker 4: I'm going this way. It is okay to do that.
- 12:05Speaker 3: Do it. It's for you. It's for your family. And
- 12:07Speaker 3: think about this too.
- 12:08Speaker 4: We're all so trying to impress everybody, trying to be
- 12:12Speaker 4: there for everybody. Listen, man, it comes a point now
- 12:14Speaker 4: and you just be there for the people who are
- 12:15Speaker 4: there for you. You can't fix everything. You can't be
- 12:19Speaker 4: there for everyone. You will run dry. You will run
- 12:21Speaker 4: thin and you won't be there for the people that
- 12:23Speaker 4: are actually dependent on you. Right.
- 12:26Speaker 2: And won't be there for yourself. I think that's the
- 12:29Speaker 2: other thing, right? Because we end up losing ourselves. Hey,
- 12:32Speaker 2: cool PJ.
- 12:33Speaker 1: I'm good to see you, sis. And Daybreak197 says, peace
- 12:36Speaker 1: is so important. I think that is so true. In fact,
- 12:39Speaker 1: you're right. In that same chapter, Damian, you say this.
- 12:42Speaker 1: And again, it's another big thing. You say, for me,
- 12:45Speaker 1: protecting my peace is about guarding myself from the parts
- 12:48Speaker 1: of life that try.
- 12:49Speaker 2: To pull me back into old habits.
- 12:51Speaker 1: The savage, the disrespectful attitude, the nasty way of speaking
- 12:55Speaker 1: when I'm frustrated, the quick temper. The old me was
- 12:57Speaker 1: always ready to go there, and it didn't serve me well.
- 13:01Speaker 1: So now I don't entertain situations that make me that
- 13:04Speaker 1: person again. That's part of protecting my peace. And I
- 13:07Speaker 1: think that's the thing. We will sometimes allow people to
- 13:12Speaker 1: kind of trigger those things and cause us to revert.
- 13:16Speaker 2: And I think that's it.
- 13:16Speaker 1: And that's why I love the fact you say, if
- 13:18Speaker 1: they don't get this part, the rest of the book
- 13:21Speaker 1: is not something they're going to really be able to
- 13:23Speaker 1: connect with, right? For yourself, I mean, you said at
- 13:26Speaker 1: the beginning of this conversation, Damian, that you weren't even
- 13:29Speaker 1: planning on writing this book at least for the world,
- 13:32Speaker 1: and this was something for you in a course that
- 13:34Speaker 1: you could be able to use for your family. As
- 13:37Speaker 1: you were reading it back, I'm curious, what was it
- 13:39Speaker 1: like for you to think about your own transformation that
- 13:42Speaker 1: you'd made?
- 13:42Speaker 4: I go back to the time that it actually happened.
- 13:51Speaker 4: The time that it actually happened, I wrote it. I
- 13:54Speaker 4: got a new book that's coming out this month, late
- 13:57Speaker 4: end of this month, and I wrote in that book.
- 13:59Speaker 4: The time that that transformation from thinking back about it now,
- 14:02Speaker 4: the time that transformation actually happened, I was alone.
- 14:06Speaker 3: I was alone in, in, in my apartment alone in
- 14:10Speaker 3: my apartment.
- 14:10Speaker 4: I started looking back at my past and I'm looking
- 14:13Speaker 4: back at everything that I can. I can, I can, uh,
- 14:18Speaker 4: muster up to see where did I go wrong? Where
- 14:21Speaker 4: did I fail? Where did I fall short? And I
- 14:23Speaker 4: found all of it. I felt short in accountability. I
- 14:27Speaker 4: felt short in communication. I felt short in intentionality. I
- 14:30Speaker 4: felt short in discipline. I felt short in respect. So
- 14:35Speaker 4: once I realized that that's, that's when the whole thought
- 14:39Speaker 4: of like, I need to be a bit more intentional
- 14:42Speaker 4: with every part of my life.
- 14:44Speaker 3: Here moving forward. And here's a quick thing about being intentional, right?
- 14:48Speaker 4: Um, after that time I did my wife, uh, I
- 14:51Speaker 4: didn't know my wife at that time.
- 14:53Speaker 3: Um, When her and I got.
- 14:56Speaker 4: Together, we were introduced by a mutual friend. And when
- 15:01Speaker 4: her and I got together, it was probably maybe three
- 15:04Speaker 4: weeks in, me and her just having conversations. And I
- 15:07Speaker 4: said to her, I said, listen, I'm at the point
- 15:10Speaker 4: in my life right now. I know exactly what I want.
- 15:13Speaker 4: I know exactly what direction I'm going in. And I'm
- 15:16Speaker 4: going to get there one way or another. If we
- 15:18Speaker 4: aren't planning on getting married, I think we should separate
- 15:22Speaker 4: right now and go out and separate. Because I want
- 15:23Speaker 4: to be married. This is my, this is the direction
- 15:27Speaker 4: I'm going. This is what I want.
- 15:28Speaker 3: I want a wife.
- 15:29Speaker 4: I want my family. I want the white picket fence.
- 15:31Speaker 4: I ain't got white picket fence yet, but this is
- 15:33Speaker 4: what I want.
- 15:33Speaker 3: Right.
- 15:34Speaker 4: And I made sure to tell her that I'm being
- 15:36Speaker 4: intentional where I'm going right now. This is, I was
- 15:39Speaker 4: 37 at the time. This is what I'm doing. This
- 15:42Speaker 4: is what I want. And the good thing about it
- 15:44Speaker 4: is this was the place she was at in her
- 15:46Speaker 4: life too. And everything we did after that was intentional
- 15:49Speaker 4: towards marriage and I'm built on all five pillars. the communication,
- 15:54Speaker 4: the accountability, the discipline, the respect, the intentionality. I built
- 15:59Speaker 4: on all five of those pillars. In that meantime, don't
- 16:01Speaker 4: get me wrong, I worked on it before, but I
- 16:03Speaker 4: was able to.
- 16:06Speaker 3: Fine-tune it during my process of getting married and being married,
- 16:10Speaker 3: and I learned a lot here, being married.
- 16:13Speaker 2: Right.
- 16:14Speaker 1: And I think that's it, and I think that's the
- 16:16Speaker 1: whole thing, too, Damon, that it is a process. Hey,
- 16:19Speaker 1: I'm going to be seeing Terrence Leather over there on
- 16:21Speaker 1: IG and Ellen says on Amazon, we need more male
- 16:25Speaker 1: writers not to fix things, but to be an ear
- 16:27Speaker 1: as this is, we know we're not going to fix everything,
- 16:31Speaker 1: but being true to be able to listen to each
- 16:34Speaker 1: other and women, we have to stop making unrealistic lists.
- 16:40Speaker 2: You know, but I think that goes for us both.
- 16:42Speaker 2: That leads to the last thing I want to mention
- 16:43Speaker 2: in the book.
- 16:44Speaker 1: And again, for those who have not gotten their copy
- 16:46Speaker 1: of call me first, now's the opportunity to get it.
- 16:48Speaker 2: You can get it in print.
- 16:49Speaker 1: The Kindle edition is, Even the audio book is available
- 16:52Speaker 1: as well here on Amazon.
- 16:53Speaker 2: So make sure you all take advantage of that.
- 16:55Speaker 3: I actually read the audio book myself, guys. So that
- 16:58Speaker 3: is my voice on the audio book.
- 17:00Speaker 2: There you go. There you go.
- 17:01Speaker 1: In Chapter 14, you talk about leadership. And I want
- 17:04Speaker 1: to read this because I thought this was really interesting.
- 17:06Speaker 1: You say leadership is heavy sometimes. It's lonely sometimes. But
- 17:10Speaker 1: it's also the most meaningful thing you'll ever do. Because
- 17:14Speaker 1: when you lead with purpose, you don't just change your life.
- 17:17Speaker 1: but the lives of everyone connected to you. So what
- 17:21Speaker 1: is your hope then, Damian, as people read this book,
- 17:24Speaker 1: they think about your own example, your own journey, where
- 17:27Speaker 1: you are today, and also reminding them what's possible for them.
- 17:31Speaker 1: What do you want them to know about not only
- 17:33Speaker 1: being that person, as you mentioned earlier, that people can
- 17:37Speaker 1: call on, but also being the person that can lead
- 17:40Speaker 1: as well?
- 17:42Speaker 3: Yeah, you have the ability. Here's the thing about leadership.
- 17:47Speaker 3: You have the.
- 17:47Speaker 4: Ability to direct someone's life. And when I say direct,
- 17:54Speaker 4: I don't mean like you're going to tell them what
- 17:56Speaker 4: to do. If someone is looking up to you and
- 17:59Speaker 4: paying attention and following your examples, they're going to possibly
- 18:06Speaker 4: turn out to be someone like you. What example are
- 18:10Speaker 4: you setting for the people that are looking up to
- 18:13Speaker 4: you or following you or wanting to walk in your
- 18:16Speaker 4: direction because they might have some type of idolization to you.
- 18:20Speaker 4: And I don't really want to use that word too much,
- 18:22Speaker 4: but these are the people that are following you and
- 18:25Speaker 4: looking at your example, looking to you for leadership. They're
- 18:27Speaker 4: eventually probably going to take on some of your habits.
- 18:31Speaker 4: What do you want them to take on? What do
- 18:33Speaker 4: you want them to feel? What do you want them
- 18:35Speaker 4: to see? Do you have their best interest at heart?
- 18:37Speaker 4: If you do, then you will do the right thing
- 18:40Speaker 4: to guide them in the right direction. And if you
- 18:42Speaker 4: don't know what that is, Go research a little bit.
- 18:46Speaker 4: Go find someone that is maybe a little bit more
- 18:48Speaker 4: advanced than you in the position that you're trying to
- 18:50Speaker 4: get to. Go see how this person moves. Go imitate
- 18:54Speaker 4: some of the things that they do. And I'm not
- 18:56Speaker 4: saying you want to be a follower, but if you
- 18:58Speaker 4: don't know what to do, go find someone that's already
- 19:01Speaker 4: doing it. And then model what they're doing and follow
- 19:05Speaker 4: that leadership. And then a lot of it is inside.
- 19:07Speaker 3: Of this book. A lot of it.
- 19:08Speaker 4: Exactly.
- 19:09Speaker 2: I totally agree. I totally agree. I've read it twice myself. Damien.
- 19:13Speaker 1: And I think the thing is, when I first was reading,
- 19:15Speaker 1: I was like, wow, that's a good point. Wow, that's
- 19:17Speaker 1: a good point. But I was also traveling. So so
- 19:20Speaker 1: I had to read to the kids so I could
- 19:21Speaker 1: actually be able to take notes, you know, and even,
- 19:24Speaker 1: you know, just the three points I mentioned here today.
- 19:27Speaker 1: I think if men would really be able to really
- 19:29Speaker 1: think about that and think about how transparent you are
- 19:32Speaker 1: in here, Damien, but also how it really holds a
- 19:35Speaker 1: mirror up to all of us on how we don't
- 19:37Speaker 1: have to be the person we were. But also we
- 19:40Speaker 1: can be able to be better each and every day.
- 19:42Speaker 1: And I think that's one of the big things. I
- 19:44Speaker 1: can't let you go without asking more about the movement.
- 19:47Speaker 1: So the book is called Call Me First. Your podcast
- 19:50Speaker 1: is called Call Me First. What has it been like
- 19:52Speaker 1: for you to see how this movement has grown?
- 19:54Speaker 3: I am blown away by it.
- 19:58Speaker 4: The good thing is when you're doing something different, when
- 20:04Speaker 4: you're doing something different, you will get support. When you're
- 20:07Speaker 4: doing something, especially something positive. And so This is not
- 20:10Speaker 4: something that people see all the time. That's one guy,
- 20:12Speaker 4: like a man comes out and speaks, speaks about leadership.
- 20:14Speaker 4: And I, like you said, I'm so transparent. There was,
- 20:17Speaker 4: of course there are parts of my life. I can't,
- 20:18Speaker 4: I can't expose, but there, but for the thing that
- 20:21Speaker 4: needs to be, I tell anybody anything, listen, I grew up, um,
- 20:27Speaker 4: pretty much just with mom, with mom taking care of me. Dad, dad,
- 20:31Speaker 4: dad was around, but dad was doing this thing.
- 20:33Speaker 3: You know what I mean? So, uh, pretty much my
- 20:37Speaker 3: mom raising me.
- 20:38Speaker 4: So I learned, uh, I had to learn a lot
- 20:40Speaker 4: of the leadership things on my own later on in life.
- 20:43Speaker 4: And I wish I got them earlier, but I had
- 20:45Speaker 4: to learn a lot of stuff in life. So to
- 20:49Speaker 4: even be where we are right now, it's like to
- 20:52Speaker 4: see that other men are just happy to have someone
- 20:57Speaker 4: that can relate to them, someone that knows their struggles,
- 21:00Speaker 4: someone that, yes, that's what I'm, I've been going through that. Yeah, yo,
- 21:05Speaker 4: that's what I'm, that's what I'm, that's what the same
- 21:07Speaker 4: thing for me. I've been there, I've done that. Yeah,
- 21:09Speaker 4: this guy understands. And now it's not just a part
- 21:12Speaker 4: of understanding. I tell you how to get out of
- 21:17Speaker 4: that jam that you're in. I tell you what I
- 21:20Speaker 4: did that worked for me. I tell you, listen, put
- 21:23Speaker 4: these two plays together. Once you run this play, go
- 21:25Speaker 4: around the corner here and you will.
- 21:26Speaker 3: Make the touchdown. This is what I do inside of
- 21:28Speaker 3: the book. So, listen, get me wrong.
- 21:31Speaker 4: The plays that I ran may not work for everybody,
- 21:35Speaker 4: but it worked for me.
- 21:35Speaker 3: And I'm giving you an idea of what can work.
- 21:38Speaker 3: So maybe that's what it is. Yeah.
- 21:41Speaker 1: And it's just us being willing to do it. And
- 21:43Speaker 1: I think that's the big thing. The key word being work.
- 21:46Speaker 2: It is work.
- 21:47Speaker 1: It's not something that we can just think about. It's
- 21:49Speaker 1: something we have to make the decision to actually do.
- 21:53Speaker 1: And Damien, it's very obvious you were able to do that.
- 21:56Speaker 1: And that's how you've been able to get to where
- 21:57Speaker 1: you are today and continue to move forward. As you mentioned,
- 22:00Speaker 1: you have a new book that's getting ready to come out.
- 22:02Speaker 1: But I do want our audience to know, again, Call
- 22:04Speaker 1: Me First is available here on Amazon. For those of
- 22:06Speaker 1: you joining us on the Amazon platform, We do have
- 22:09Speaker 1: the print, the Kindle edition there, as well as the
- 22:12Speaker 1: audio book. For those of you joining us on social,
- 22:15Speaker 1: you'll find the link there to be able to get
- 22:16Speaker 1: it for yourself. Damien, though, how can our audience stay
- 22:19Speaker 1: connected with you and keep up with all the things
- 22:21Speaker 1: coming up, including the new book?
- 22:23Speaker 3: Yeah, you can find me right on Amazon.
- 22:26Speaker 4: Call Me First. Anything with Call Me First on there,
- 22:28Speaker 4: that'll be me. You can find me at callmefirstshop.com. If
- 22:31Speaker 4: you want to go by there, just hit the contact
- 22:33Speaker 4: button and send me a message. You can also find
- 22:35Speaker 4: me in all socials. Either call me for a shop
- 22:38Speaker 4: or call me for a blueprint. Like I said, a
- 22:41Speaker 4: new book is coming out later this month. It's called
- 22:44Speaker 4: Men Don't Get the Break. Men Don't Get the Break.
- 22:48Speaker 4: Look out for that book, too. It's coming out at
- 22:49Speaker 4: the end of this month. I went into a lot
- 22:54Speaker 4: in the Call Me First book, but in the Men
- 22:56Speaker 4: Don't Get the Break book, I went way farther than
- 23:00Speaker 4: I did inside of that book, and I gave a
- 23:03Speaker 4: bunch more lessons and experiences on the five pillars, which
- 23:07Speaker 4: is accountability.
- 23:08Speaker 3: Communication, intentionality, discipline, and respect.
- 23:10Speaker 4: I went and told real stories from my life and
- 23:14Speaker 4: how certain things played out for me and it worked
- 23:16Speaker 4: out for the best. Love it.
- 23:18Speaker 2: Well, we have to have you come back then, Damien,
- 23:20Speaker 2: when the new book comes out.
- 23:22Speaker 3: All right. I appreciate you. Thank you for having me, man.
- 23:25Speaker 2: Man, it's our pleasure.
- 23:26Speaker 1: And we thank your audience for tuning in to another
- 23:28Speaker 1: great segment of Cyrus Web Presents. Until next time, y'all
- 23:31Speaker 1: make it a great one. We'll talk to you soon.
- 23:33Speaker 2: Take care.