Latest / Get Real with Jim Weiss / Scheana Shay Shares The Good Side of Talking About Mental Health

Transcript

Scheana Shay Shares The Good Side of Talking About Mental Health · Get Real with Jim Weiss

0:00
Speaker 1: Hey, so everyone, we're here talking about my latest podcast
0:04
Speaker 1: with one of my favorite reality stars, Sheena. Shea just
0:10
Speaker 1: published a book, right that is pretty incredible on my
0:15
Speaker 1: good side. I never really thought of her ever having
0:19
Speaker 1: a bad side, even though she talks about in the
0:21
Speaker 1: book her incredible struggles with mental health, particularly around postpartum OCD,
0:28
Speaker 1: which was originally misdiagnosed and ABD, so you might I
0:32
Speaker 1: was kind of expecting a different personality side, but I
0:36
Speaker 1: only really see the good side.
0:38
Speaker 2: We also talked about pursuing this diagnosis and doing a
0:42
Speaker 2: ton of different kinds of therapy.
0:43
Speaker 1: She did mention some medication she's been on AMDR, but
0:47
Speaker 1: that was the whole point, you know, her resilience and
0:50
Speaker 1: her perseverance through what is a lot of criticism, and
0:54
Speaker 1: I again, you know, why do a reality show.
0:58
Speaker 3: Talk about exposure therapy?
1:00
Speaker 1: I feel connected to her on this, and that's why
1:02
Speaker 1: I wanted her on the podcast so badly, because I
1:04
Speaker 1: actually think, and I've talked to other reality stars about this,
1:09
Speaker 1: that in a way they're more accessible, right, and they
1:14
Speaker 1: are people most of us can relate to more. Why
1:16
Speaker 1: is it so popular? Well, it's so popular. As they
1:19
Speaker 1: continue their regular life that most.
1:22
Speaker 2: Of us slog through and we see our problems reflected
1:25
Speaker 2: in them.
1:26
Speaker 3: Like this is everyone's experience of life.
1:29
Speaker 1: Like she said, divorces and custody battles and mental health
1:34
Speaker 1: issues and addiction and all this happens in real life
1:37
Speaker 1: every day. So I think it's how people cope and
1:40
Speaker 1: deal with it. And look, all the breakdowns will happen.
1:44
Speaker 1: It is how you deal with it. And may it
1:47
Speaker 1: lead to breakthroughs. It doesn't always, But I just thought
1:50
Speaker 1: the kinship between us that I feel with a lot
1:54
Speaker 1: of our guests is that they do use their experience
1:58
Speaker 1: like I'm trying to do to help empower people in patience.
2:02
Speaker 2: And to get real about your health, as you say,
2:05
Speaker 2: and for her, like talking about her OCB might mean
2:07
Speaker 2: that someone who loves her work reads this book and
2:12
Speaker 2: gets a diagnosis.
2:13
Speaker 1: The earlier you get diagnosed, the faster you can deal
2:18
Speaker 1: with it. You know that's going to factor ends. Yeah,
2:20
Speaker 1: and now everyone just enjoy just stop listening to us,
2:24
Speaker 1: and let's see the Sheena herself. Hi, Sheena, Hello, how
2:29
Speaker 1: are you great to see you? Thanks for hanging with me, Gil.
2:33
Speaker 1: So look, I thought kick off really with just a
2:37
Speaker 1: question as everything in my podcast tends to relate to
2:41
Speaker 1: health and healthcare. Yeah, I wanted to kind of ask
2:44
Speaker 1: about this awesome book that you wrote.
2:47
Speaker 3: Yes, thank you, and really.
2:50
Speaker 1: Tell us a little bit. You know, my listeners are
2:53
Speaker 1: all focused in healthcare and around healthcare. Was it cathartic
2:57
Speaker 1: and healthy to write the book? Did you do it
3:00
Speaker 1: sort of health or mental health? Reasons?
3:03
Speaker 4: Definitely for mental health, because I felt like, for as
3:07
Speaker 4: many years as I have been on reality TV, you
3:11
Speaker 4: never get the full story, and there is so much
3:14
Speaker 4: more context to everything that happens. There are reasons behind
3:19
Speaker 4: why I've done the things I've done and said the
3:22
Speaker 4: things I've said, And I felt like, yes, for my
3:25
Speaker 4: mental health, I genuinely needed to set the record straight
3:30
Speaker 4: and I needed to put it all out there, talk
3:33
Speaker 4: about literally my health, both physical and mental. I went
3:39
Speaker 4: into my traumatic birth with my daughter getting help syndrome,
3:43
Speaker 4: which is something that is so rare and a lot
3:47
Speaker 4: of people don't even know what it is. I go
3:50
Speaker 4: into my postpartum journey. I was diagnosed with postpartum OCD,
3:55
Speaker 4: and I've been in and out of depression since I
3:59
Speaker 4: was really young. So those were all key factors in
4:04
Speaker 4: writing this book. That I wanted to touch on and overall. Yeah,
4:09
Speaker 4: there's definitely a lot of health related stories and topics
4:13
Speaker 4: in this book.
4:14
Speaker 1: No, and that's why I definitely wanted to focus on it.
4:17
Speaker 1: I think so misunderstood, right. I mean, I've gotten to
4:19
Speaker 1: know you, which I'm lucky, and I feel privileged to
4:22
Speaker 1: know you and Brock and become friends, and I kind
4:25
Speaker 1: of wanted to start by, you know, in this beginning
4:27
Speaker 1: bit to talk about, you know, your path here, how
4:31
Speaker 1: did you get here? And how did you go from
4:33
Speaker 1: life out of the spotlight into vander Pump rules. I mean,
4:37
Speaker 1: maybe let's take everybody back. What's the sheenache origin story?
4:42
Speaker 4: Yeah, So another reason why I wrote the book. I
4:45
Speaker 4: wanted everyone to have a full outlook on my life
4:50
Speaker 4: because I feel like the show it is real, but
4:53
Speaker 4: as real as it is, it can't give your whole
4:56
Speaker 4: life story. It's an ensemble cast. It's not the Sheena Show.
5:00
Speaker 4: Maybe it should be, but I'm just kidding.
5:02
Speaker 1: One day, so that's gonna happen.
5:04
Speaker 4: But that's the thing with an ensemble cast, so many
5:08
Speaker 4: stories that just get left on the cutting room floor,
5:12
Speaker 4: and you just you don't get the full story.
5:14
Speaker 3: So as much as yes, it is absolutely real. If
5:18
Speaker 3: I said it, I said it.
5:19
Speaker 4: There's no ventriloquist making me say things behind the camera.
5:23
Speaker 3: You know.
5:23
Speaker 4: These aren't my words that I have to stand by
5:25
Speaker 4: and be accountable for. But it is produced, it is edited,
5:30
Speaker 4: you know, and that's just how you make television. So
5:34
Speaker 4: I knew that going into this, But once you film
5:39
Speaker 4: it and then you relive their version of it, there
5:43
Speaker 4: could be sometimes Whe're like, well, that's not really how
5:45
Speaker 4: it happened, but I mean it is.
5:47
Speaker 3: You're just missing context.
5:49
Speaker 4: So that's why I wrote a book adding all of
5:52
Speaker 4: that context that has been left out of my professional
5:56
Speaker 4: and personal life over the last twelve seasons on reality
6:00
Speaker 4: TV and going back to me as a kid growing
6:05
Speaker 4: up just outside of LA always wanting to be an actress,
6:11
Speaker 4: be on TV, be inn entertainment.
6:13
Speaker 3: That was always the dream of mine.
6:15
Speaker 4: I did school plays as a kid, I did theater
6:20
Speaker 4: in high school, and in college I took radio and
6:22
Speaker 4: TV production. I majored in Communication studies with my emphasis
6:26
Speaker 4: and focus in broadcast journalism. Being in the spotlight and
6:29
Speaker 4: working in entertainment is always something I've wanted to do,
6:32
Speaker 4: but I finally pursued it after I got my degree,
6:36
Speaker 4: booked a bunch of guest starring roles and co starring
6:40
Speaker 4: and hosting, and did all of these things, and then
6:43
Speaker 4: twenty six years old, I got an opportunity to be
6:46
Speaker 4: a part of a reality show. Not knowing what a
6:50
Speaker 4: phenomenon this was going to become. I never could have
6:54
Speaker 4: imagined how global and for eleven seasons that this would
6:58
Speaker 4: have continued. And now you know, stories are continuing on
7:01
Speaker 4: the Valley and it's just such a blessing to be
7:05
Speaker 4: able to get paid to live my life, but to
7:09
Speaker 4: also be able to have my job be something that
7:14
Speaker 4: relates to so many people in the world, so many
7:17
Speaker 4: similar health struggles and things that we go through that
7:22
Speaker 4: I now have the platform to speak on.
7:25
Speaker 3: And you know, now I am a mental health advocate.
7:27
Speaker 4: I do work with the International OCD Foundation, who are
7:31
Speaker 4: based out of Boston. I've done several things with them
7:35
Speaker 4: over the past year, and that is an absolute passion
7:38
Speaker 4: of mine. I feel like I've been kind of searching
7:42
Speaker 4: for that passion for so long and what charity do
7:45
Speaker 4: I want to be a part of And all of
7:48
Speaker 4: this just came together last year, and I'm so grateful
7:53
Speaker 4: to have this platform to podcast like yours bring me
7:56
Speaker 4: on to talk about it more.
7:58
Speaker 1: This concept of fine a passion and what I've told
8:01
Speaker 1: people what I love about reality shows when they're at
8:04
Speaker 1: their best, right, this is what happens. You get to
8:09
Speaker 1: talk about some things that other people find difficult to
8:12
Speaker 1: talk about or face or realize. And you know, it's
8:17
Speaker 1: incredible the impact a story like yours has because they
8:21
Speaker 1: see it, you know, and if you are then actively
8:24
Speaker 1: doing something about it, they can, you know, kind of
8:27
Speaker 1: follow that in a way that's positive for them too.
8:30
Speaker 1: So I actually, you know, that to me is the
8:32
Speaker 1: best thing about these shows. And I'm sure.
8:34
Speaker 4: Yeah, And our audience has grown with us, They've become
8:38
Speaker 4: parents with us. They've been on this journey for so long.
8:41
Speaker 4: And then there's also the kids who maybe shouldn't have
8:45
Speaker 4: been watching the show when they were twelve thirteen years old,
8:48
Speaker 4: who are now of legal drinking age, and I'm meeting
8:51
Speaker 4: them out when I'm at a restaurant or a bar
8:53
Speaker 4: or something, and they're like, I've been watching you since
8:56
Speaker 4: fifth grade.
8:56
Speaker 1: Well when I hang out with you, guys, I feel
8:58
Speaker 1: the same way. Right, So anyway at all at all? Yeah,
9:01
Speaker 1: time forward, So when you think about your life as
9:04
Speaker 1: a reality star. What's something incredible or something overwhelming about
9:09
Speaker 1: your work that people might not realize that it's maybe
9:13
Speaker 1: a bit harder, more hectic than they see.
9:16
Speaker 4: Correct, That's what I was going to say. I think
9:18
Speaker 4: people think it's easy. Everyone wants to do reality TV
9:22
Speaker 4: and just become an influencer, you know, on The Bachelor
9:25
Speaker 4: or whatever, and just like be famous and get money,
9:28
Speaker 4: and it's so easy, just get paid to be you.
9:30
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I mean, some of that is true,
9:34
Speaker 4: but there's not anything necessarily easy that comes with reality TV.
9:39
Speaker 4: Sure it's easy that I get a film with my family.
9:42
Speaker 4: I sometimes don't have to leave my house or put
9:45
Speaker 4: on clothes. I could film in my pajama as you know,
9:47
Speaker 4: I don't have to put makeup on. So sure, in
9:50
Speaker 4: some sense it's easy. But we're pouring our hearts and
9:55
Speaker 4: souls out like blood, sweat and tears for this show,
10:00
Speaker 4: and we've done it for so long, and that's not
10:02
Speaker 4: easy to keep getting back up, putting yourself back out there,
10:07
Speaker 4: falling down, getting back up season after season, being torn
10:11
Speaker 4: apart online. Everyone wants to tell you everything they hate
10:14
Speaker 4: about you. It just it is a lot on mental health,
10:19
Speaker 4: and it's something that I wouldn't have any other way.
10:24
Speaker 3: It's something that I've realized.
10:26
Speaker 4: I've been on and off anti depression and anti anxiety
10:30
Speaker 4: medication since my early twenties. And it's not like because
10:35
Speaker 4: of reality TV. It's been my whole life. But when
10:40
Speaker 4: you are on a reality show, it can be hard
10:43
Speaker 4: on your mental health at times. There are so many
10:46
Speaker 4: outside opinions that it's not just us living our lives.
10:50
Speaker 4: You know, it's not fifteen years ago on reality TV
10:54
Speaker 4: when there's no social media. There's a whole extra layer
10:58
Speaker 4: and aspect to it. Now that does make make it
11:00
Speaker 4: more difficult. It's not as easy as it was the
11:04
Speaker 4: first couple of seasons. You know, you fight with your friends,
11:06
Speaker 4: you say some dumb shit, you relive it, you do
11:09
Speaker 4: the reunion, you move on. But now it's having to
11:12
Speaker 4: hear hundreds and thousands of outside opinions. Like when our
11:16
Speaker 4: show started, Instagram was brand new, So now it's a
11:20
Speaker 4: whole new world.
11:22
Speaker 1: So how do you handle that? And I hear different things, right,
11:25
Speaker 1: shut off the comments or whatever, But my gut is
11:27
Speaker 1: I know you, like, I bet you're looking, man, how
11:30
Speaker 1: do you handle it?
11:31
Speaker 4: Sometimes I look sometimes they don't when I know it's
11:34
Speaker 4: not going to be good for my mental health, like
11:36
Speaker 4: anything around the book. When we were posting anything like
11:40
Speaker 4: Brock related and all that, I'm like, I don't want
11:42
Speaker 4: to look at the comments on any of these posts,
11:44
Speaker 4: the US Weekly posts that had you know, I was
11:47
Speaker 4: so proud to be on a cover, but then I
11:49
Speaker 4: have the word cheating right across me, and I'm like,
11:53
Speaker 4: I don't really want to post that on my page,
11:55
Speaker 4: nor do I want to look at any of the
11:57
Speaker 4: comments under it. So things like that I for my
12:00
Speaker 4: mental health because I just know it's better if I
12:04
Speaker 4: don't see it.
12:05
Speaker 1: I guess let's go there. You brought it up. I
12:07
Speaker 1: know enough because I know you guys, and I know
12:10
Speaker 1: how hard you've worked at this, and it happens like
12:13
Speaker 1: that's reality. So I guess that it reflects reality. But
12:17
Speaker 1: somehow everybody acts like it's something that's never happened in
12:21
Speaker 1: the world, right, and that I think is a testament
12:23
Speaker 1: to you and how much people love you and are
12:26
Speaker 1: rooting for you. So I'm sure they were upset. How
12:29
Speaker 1: have you guys muddled through that and work through it?
12:33
Speaker 4: Kind of to go back to the other question, too.
12:35
Speaker 4: One of the things that we've both done and that
12:38
Speaker 4: I've done over the years is therapy. I think everyone
12:42
Speaker 4: should be in therapy. I think it is amazing for
12:45
Speaker 4: not only your mental health, but also like your physical health.
12:48
Speaker 4: When you get all of that load off you, you
12:50
Speaker 4: just feel lighter, You feel better physically and mentally. So
12:55
Speaker 4: I've done EMDR, I've done talk therapy, I do exposure therapy,
13:01
Speaker 4: like all of the things for OCD ERPCBT, all of
13:04
Speaker 4: those things have definitely helped me. And communicating with my husband,
13:09
Speaker 4: with my friends, with my family, talking about things.
13:13
Speaker 3: That are bothering me that you know, we're kind of stewing,
13:18
Speaker 3: that definitely helps.
13:19
Speaker 4: I think keeping things in makes it much more difficult,
13:24
Speaker 4: and I did that for almost two years. I kept
13:28
Speaker 4: my husband's affair a secret. I hardly told anyone. Literally
13:34
Speaker 4: three people knew for over a year, and that was it.
13:38
Speaker 3: Didn't tell my parents, no one.
13:40
Speaker 4: My dad didn't even find out until like a month
13:43
Speaker 4: and a half ago. It was like, right before the
13:45
Speaker 4: excerpt was going to come out. We told him not
13:47
Speaker 4: we brock, I said, you did this. He had to
13:50
Speaker 4: tell a lot of people in my family, and my
13:53
Speaker 4: aunt had a really hard time with it.
13:55
Speaker 3: She cried and wasn't easy for him.
13:57
Speaker 4: But I was like, look, there are certain people who
14:00
Speaker 4: are close enough to us they don't deserve to find
14:02
Speaker 4: out about this from an excerpt and Glamour magazine.
14:05
Speaker 3: You got to tell them face to face in person.
14:08
Speaker 4: And we put it off till like the very last day,
14:10
Speaker 4: and we're like, okay, so high tomorrow this is coming out.
14:13
Speaker 1: So there's a challenge in living reality TV, right, I mean,
14:16
Speaker 1: some things get ahead of you, you know, and that's
14:19
Speaker 1: a little bit hard to deal with. But do you
14:21
Speaker 1: think this breakdown led to a breakthrough for you too?
14:25
Speaker 3: I think so.
14:26
Speaker 4: Honestly, we I think are closer than ever. I think
14:30
Speaker 4: the trust is mostly rebuilt. I don't know that I'll
14:33
Speaker 4: ever be one hundred percent there because my brain in
14:37
Speaker 4: my OCD just doesn't really.
14:39
Speaker 3: Allow me to do that.
14:41
Speaker 4: And every time I start getting my trust back after
14:45
Speaker 4: a huge betrayal like this, like scandal, it takes me,
14:50
Speaker 4: you know, time to build that trust back up, and
14:52
Speaker 4: then someone else betrays me, someone else tells my secret
14:56
Speaker 4: to another person, another person. So it's just like it's
14:59
Speaker 4: frustrating bec because right when I start to trust again,
15:03
Speaker 4: something else happens, but you keep trusting.
15:05
Speaker 1: Again, what do you think that's about? You have a
15:08
Speaker 1: certain level of resilience and toughness that you don't know.
15:11
Speaker 1: You're obviously stronger than you think.
15:14
Speaker 4: Yes, no, I know I am very strong. I always
15:17
Speaker 4: get back up. I have magical power to just get
15:21
Speaker 4: over shit really easily. It may still be there, and
15:25
Speaker 4: like I might still ruminate with it, but overall I
15:29
Speaker 4: can just move on. I think that's a great quality
15:34
Speaker 4: of mine. But then also at times not necessarily should
15:36
Speaker 4: hold a grudge longer. But maybe I shouldn't always be
15:39
Speaker 4: so forgiving so quickly, because not everyone deserves it as
15:43
Speaker 4: quickly as I have given it to them.
15:45
Speaker 1: I have this values hashtag deal with it, which you
15:48
Speaker 1: tend to do, and that's what reality stars in some
15:51
Speaker 1: ways you just have to because you live in the
15:53
Speaker 1: limelight and you deal with it and it's a blessing
15:56
Speaker 1: and a curse. But I always want to ask this question,
15:58
Speaker 1: what would you be doing if you weren't doing this?
16:01
Speaker 1: What would the work be?
16:02
Speaker 4: I honestly never thought about doing anything else since I
16:05
Speaker 4: was a kid.
16:06
Speaker 3: I've always wanted to be an entertainment.
16:09
Speaker 4: I know there was a point in my life where
16:11
Speaker 4: I thought, ooh, maybe I want to.
16:14
Speaker 3: Like go to medical school and be a surgeon.
16:17
Speaker 4: And then I watched an episode of Gray's Anatomy, and
16:20
Speaker 4: I'm like, I could just be an actress and not
16:22
Speaker 4: go to school and play a surgeon, you know. But
16:24
Speaker 4: there was also a point in my life where I thought,
16:27
Speaker 4: when I was in high school, I'm like, maybe I
16:29
Speaker 4: come back to my high school and I'd be a
16:30
Speaker 4: teacher and a cheer coach and just like a normal
16:34
Speaker 4: you know, life and job.
16:35
Speaker 3: But once I.
16:37
Speaker 4: Graduated high school, went to college, took all of those courses,
16:41
Speaker 4: I'm like, no, no, I want to be an entertainment
16:43
Speaker 4: So for me, there wasn't really a backup plan. It
16:47
Speaker 4: was just I'm either going to be an actress, a
16:49
Speaker 4: TV host, a reality star. Wasn't really on my bingo card,
16:53
Speaker 4: but that's what it turned out to be. But I
16:54
Speaker 4: just knew my face would be on TV.
16:57
Speaker 1: So you have a podcast called Shenanigans. What's your favorite
17:00
Speaker 1: moment from it? Is there like one or two incredible
17:04
Speaker 1: guests for moments that you can think of that have
17:07
Speaker 1: been highlights.
17:08
Speaker 4: I've been doing this for so long now, going on
17:11
Speaker 4: like seven and a half years.
17:13
Speaker 3: Yeah, I started it. Yeah, seven years ago, twenty eighteen.
17:16
Speaker 1: Another pioneering thing.
17:18
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's been incredible. I've had so many amazing guests
17:22
Speaker 4: on Lance. Bass was on my show way back in
17:26
Speaker 4: the day, and we've known each other for so long
17:29
Speaker 4: and we've been friends. Our kids go to school together,
17:32
Speaker 4: we're together all of the time. But that's one interview
17:35
Speaker 4: from probably like six years ago that still always stands
17:38
Speaker 4: out to me.
17:39
Speaker 3: It just flowed so well. I was doing live.
17:42
Speaker 4: Reads for my ads and that whole conversation. I was
17:46
Speaker 4: just like, it's crazy, first of all that I'm friends
17:49
Speaker 4: with you, but now I'm interviewing you, and.
17:51
Speaker 3: It just I'll never forget that episode.
17:54
Speaker 4: And Ed Milette was another one, just a very motivational
17:58
Speaker 4: guy author all of the things. I need to actually
18:02
Speaker 4: know that I'm saying this. I need to go back
18:03
Speaker 4: and listen to that podcast because I was very motivated
18:06
Speaker 4: after that, and I think I need that kind of
18:09
Speaker 4: kicking the ass again a little bit.
18:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, we learn a lot from doing this we're just
18:13
Speaker 1: talking about. We get really good ideas. But I will say,
18:17
Speaker 1: from my perspective, the way you and Brock have handled it,
18:20
Speaker 1: you'd never know. I mean, you seem like an incredible
18:22
Speaker 1: couple when Audre and I met you at the super
18:24
Speaker 1: Bowl with Lance Bass. But I thought and think, you guys,
18:28
Speaker 1: you know, learn and live right in front of us,
18:31
Speaker 1: and I do think you do a freaking great job
18:33
Speaker 1: of it. And thanks for weathering this one too, yet
18:37
Speaker 1: another of your many. So you're open about the miscarriage,
18:40
Speaker 1: fertility struggles, POSTPARTUMOSCD. These are pretty regular everyday topics in
18:46
Speaker 1: my line of work. But how does sharing this help
18:50
Speaker 1: you and others? I mean, you know, have people really responded?
18:54
Speaker 1: I imagine they have.
18:55
Speaker 4: Yeah, those stories really resonated with a lot of people,
18:59
Speaker 4: especially talking about I mean, miscarriage, unfortunately, is so common.
19:04
Speaker 4: You know, it's one in four. I know more people
19:08
Speaker 4: than I can count who have had one. It's a
19:10
Speaker 4: devastating thing to go through. And because so many women
19:13
Speaker 4: do go through it, talking about that openly was very
19:16
Speaker 4: important for me to just let everyone know, like you're
19:19
Speaker 4: not alone, Like I've experienced this loss as well. I
19:23
Speaker 4: now have my amazing rainbow baby, but with having her
19:29
Speaker 4: after a loss, it was really scary, I mean postpartum OCD.
19:34
Speaker 4: I didn't even know it was OCD. My anxiety, like
19:37
Speaker 4: everything was just next level. It was so heightened. I
19:41
Speaker 4: was worried every second of every day something was gonna happen.
19:43
Speaker 4: She was gonna choke and die, she was gonna stop
19:45
Speaker 4: breathing in her sleep, she was gonna like there were
19:47
Speaker 4: just so many things that for me were a struggle.
19:52
Speaker 4: But I realized in talking about it openly, I've now
19:56
Speaker 4: helped women get a proper diagnosis by them resonating with
20:00
Speaker 4: my story being like, wait, this sounds a lot like
20:03
Speaker 4: what I'm going through. It's not postpartum depression. It's often misdiagnosed,
20:08
Speaker 4: is that? But postpartum OCD is a thing. It's a
20:12
Speaker 4: thing that a lot of people don't know about, and
20:16
Speaker 4: it is something that often gets misdiagnosed. So having that
20:20
Speaker 4: diagnosis not just from my therapist, but also a psychiatrist
20:24
Speaker 4: I saw doctor Aman, I did the whole brain scan
20:27
Speaker 4: all of the things, and hashtag.
20:29
Speaker 3: Confirmed I have OCD.
20:30
Speaker 4: Gonna go get tested for ADHD next because now the
20:34
Speaker 4: more that I'm learning about OCD and the Venn diagram
20:37
Speaker 4: of the two go hand in hand, I'm like, huh, maybe.
20:41
Speaker 3: I could get some help in that as well.
20:43
Speaker 4: So just always learning more about myself and being so
20:47
Speaker 4: open about my journey because I just know it's relatable.
20:51
Speaker 4: And that's why I love doing reality TV. I loved
20:54
Speaker 4: writing this book. As difficult of a process as it was,
20:58
Speaker 4: it finally came to get other. It made the New
21:01
Speaker 4: York Times Best Selling list, not once, not twice, three times,
21:06
Speaker 4: and then it's fourteen on audio books.
21:08
Speaker 1: Awesome, and you recorded it right.
21:11
Speaker 4: Yes, that would have been so weird to have like
21:13
Speaker 4: a different voice reading my reality.
21:16
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, if it was good enough for Barbara Streisan,
21:18
Speaker 1: you can do it. I mean, come on, yeah, yeah,
21:21
Speaker 1: tell us some story books full of stories, incredible stories.
21:25
Speaker 1: Were there topics that were more difficult than others to
21:28
Speaker 1: write about and talk about? Is there anything you left out?
21:32
Speaker 3: Not that I can think of.
21:33
Speaker 4: Honestly, there are some points where I'm like, maybe I
21:36
Speaker 4: should have said less, There's somewhere maybe I should have
21:38
Speaker 4: said more. But overall the bones of the story, I
21:41
Speaker 4: do not think there's one thing I left out. Maybe
21:44
Speaker 4: one day something will pop in my head, like, oh
21:47
Speaker 4: I should have wrote about that in the book. But
21:49
Speaker 4: that's the beauty of having a podcast, the ability to
21:53
Speaker 4: write another book one day. You know, if there are
21:55
Speaker 4: things that I start thinking, I'm just going to start
21:57
Speaker 4: a new notes tab in my and just start writing
22:02
Speaker 4: out more ideas. But I think overall, I really did
22:06
Speaker 4: hit everything I wanted to hit in the book. Chapter three,
22:10
Speaker 4: the whole legally a brunette chapter with the Hooters lawsuit,
22:14
Speaker 4: that was something that I had compartmentalized for a while
22:18
Speaker 4: and I didn't think about for so many years, and
22:21
Speaker 4: so going back and reliving that, realizing how many details
22:25
Speaker 4: I actually did remember, but it had blocked out for
22:28
Speaker 4: so long. That was difficult to write because, especially now
22:32
Speaker 4: being a mom to a little girl, I can't imagine
22:36
Speaker 4: anyone ever violating my little girl. So that chapter, just
22:40
Speaker 4: from a mom's perspective, was a hard one to relive
22:44
Speaker 4: and write all of the postpartum and birth stuff. It
22:48
Speaker 4: was cathartic to write it, but it was also hard
22:53
Speaker 4: to relive it and to have to read the audio book.
22:55
Speaker 3: I mean, there were so many points where I'm choking
22:58
Speaker 3: back tears. But I did it. I got through it,
23:01
Speaker 3: and I wouldn't have it any other way.
23:04
Speaker 4: I'm glad that I put everything in the book that
23:06
Speaker 4: I did.
23:07
Speaker 1: And I do think you have a certain style, which
23:11
Speaker 1: is why I think you remain likable to people is
23:14
Speaker 1: you're just You're not a ham or edge person, right,
23:17
Speaker 1: you know, just not how you play. You're not mean,
23:20
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, and you're not negative. Do you find
23:23
Speaker 1: that that helps in all of this, that your basic outlook,
23:27
Speaker 1: despite all the things that you have, you're generally an up,
23:31
Speaker 1: be positive person.
23:32
Speaker 4: I am, and I feel like I love that about myself.
23:35
Speaker 4: I do always try to see the brighter side of things,
23:37
Speaker 4: so I think it's a good thing. But then I
23:40
Speaker 4: feel like that could get me in trouble sometimes too,
23:42
Speaker 4: where people are like Shina, the world is not just
23:44
Speaker 4: sunshine and rainbow. It's like it's not necessarily always going
23:47
Speaker 4: to be okay. But I do try to live my
23:50
Speaker 4: life with the glass half full and hope for the best.
23:55
Speaker 4: But I know I'm a very strong person and he'll
23:58
Speaker 4: be okay at the end of the day.
24:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's true. I understand that you're coming
24:03
Speaker 1: back for more on the Valley. Why do you keep
24:05
Speaker 1: going back for more? Is it all going to be
24:08
Speaker 1: worth it? Because right, there's a lot of noise about
24:10
Speaker 1: that show's negativity, So are they bringing you on more
24:13
Speaker 1: to give it a little positivity what's happening there.
24:16
Speaker 4: Maybe we will have to wait and see, but I
24:20
Speaker 4: think Brock and I have been a part of it.
24:22
Speaker 4: Last season was to bring some fun into all of
24:26
Speaker 4: the dark stories that we were going through. But that's
24:29
Speaker 4: the thing with The Valley. Yeah, sure the season was dark,
24:31
Speaker 4: but that's real life. That is the world we live in.
24:35
Speaker 4: So if they decide to bring us back for that,
24:38
Speaker 4: fortunately we've already been through our darkest times, I think,
24:41
Speaker 4: so if that is in the cards for us in
24:45
Speaker 4: the future, I would hope that we bring some light
24:47
Speaker 4: and positivity to it.
24:49
Speaker 1: How do you think you'll approach it differently than.
24:51
Speaker 4: Vander Pump Whatever reality show I do in the future,
24:55
Speaker 4: whether it be The Valley, Bravo, Hulu, Netflix, who knows
24:58
Speaker 4: where the world is going to take me? I think
25:01
Speaker 4: that I am going to try my best to not
25:05
Speaker 4: worry about what other people are thinking, to not worry
25:08
Speaker 4: about Well, no, you have to make up with this
25:11
Speaker 4: person to be their friend.
25:13
Speaker 3: Like I don't want to have beef with anyone.
25:16
Speaker 4: I want to have peace, but sometimes you're going to
25:19
Speaker 4: have some beef, you know. I feel like I'm in
25:21
Speaker 4: a more confident place in life with my voice where
25:25
Speaker 4: I'm going to call things out more and I'm going
25:27
Speaker 4: to stand up for myself more. I'm not going to
25:29
Speaker 4: let people walk all over me. So, wherever our future
25:32
Speaker 4: in reality TV is, that is the way.
25:35
Speaker 3: I want to approach it.
25:37
Speaker 4: I just want to be the best version of myself
25:39
Speaker 4: and someone who isn't a people pleaser.
25:43
Speaker 1: Excellent, Well, I think it's going to be a little higher,
25:45
Speaker 1: especially as a mom. You really impressed me as such
25:48
Speaker 1: a great and dedicated mom. How do you balance that
25:52
Speaker 1: all that you do with summer in the twenty four
25:54
Speaker 1: to seven exposure of reality TV? How do you manage that?
25:58
Speaker 1: You seem to do a great job of it. What
26:00
Speaker 1: are the secrets.
26:01
Speaker 4: Having a really supportive husband and family? Honestly, I couldn't
26:04
Speaker 4: do all of this without them, because you know, my
26:07
Speaker 4: schedule is crazy, and my daughter's in school and her
26:10
Speaker 4: schedule is crazy. So trying to keep that stability and
26:16
Speaker 4: her normal life in her normal schedule is so important
26:19
Speaker 4: to us. As much as possible, keep her on schedule.
26:22
Speaker 4: You know, if there's a day where we have to
26:25
Speaker 4: film a scene and maybe she misses school or something
26:28
Speaker 4: like that, will cross that bridge when we get there
26:30
Speaker 4: but overall, she loves when there's a camera in her face.
26:34
Speaker 4: She's had one in her face since she came out
26:37
Speaker 4: of me, literally, so it's something that when she sees
26:41
Speaker 4: them she gets excited. Sometimes she may get camera shy
26:44
Speaker 4: and not want a film, And if that is the case,
26:48
Speaker 4: then she doesn't have to. I will never force her
26:51
Speaker 4: to do anything she.
26:52
Speaker 3: Doesn't want to do. If it's too much, it's too
26:54
Speaker 3: much reality TV show. Kids, they're not getting paid.
26:58
Speaker 4: It's not a job, so right when it's a job
27:01
Speaker 4: for her, if there's something that she's being paid to do,
27:03
Speaker 4: then the rules are a little different. But that is
27:06
Speaker 4: the great thing too about reality TV is when it
27:09
Speaker 4: comes to the kids, it is a little more flexible
27:12
Speaker 4: schedule wise and whatnot, because you got to protect the
27:16
Speaker 4: little ones, you know.
27:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, it'll be next next next gen New York City.
27:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, next next gen LA Right exactly.
27:24
Speaker 1: Well, there you go. That's we've already come up with
27:26
Speaker 1: a new show. So we have a common name legacy thing, right,
27:29
Speaker 1: tell us how the child got to be named Summer.
27:33
Speaker 4: I was a huge fan of the OC. That show
27:37
Speaker 4: was my favorite when I was in high school. Rachel
27:40
Speaker 4: Bilson was one of my favorite actresses.
27:43
Speaker 3: I thought I looked a little like her.
27:45
Speaker 4: Like when I was a teenager, when I would go
27:47
Speaker 4: out to clubs and I had a fake idea and stuff.
27:48
Speaker 4: I would always tell everyone that my name was Summer
27:51
Speaker 4: because sheena and then it's like, how do you spell it?
27:53
Speaker 4: I was just like, it's Summer, and it was always
27:56
Speaker 4: a name.
27:56
Speaker 3: I liked that.
27:57
Speaker 4: I'm like, one day, if I have a daughter, like
27:58
Speaker 4: I want to name her Summer.
28:00
Speaker 3: And when I said.
28:02
Speaker 4: That to Brock, I was like, well, for're having a girl,
28:04
Speaker 4: what do you think about the name Summer? And he
28:07
Speaker 4: loved it because also he has a daughter named Winter,
28:10
Speaker 4: and so he thought that that was something special that
28:13
Speaker 4: one day they could have together. But for me, it
28:16
Speaker 4: was Rachel Bilson and the O C. And that's the
28:19
Speaker 4: only place that came from for me.
28:21
Speaker 1: I can't wait to tell Josh Schwartz all about this.
28:24
Speaker 1: So two questions I always ask everyone. But first, how
28:27
Speaker 1: are you and Lisa Vanderpunk doing? Has she read it?
28:30
Speaker 1: And who you guys talked about it?
28:31
Speaker 3: You ask everyone this question.
28:34
Speaker 1: Now before I asked the questions, and we can cut
28:39
Speaker 1: this out too, But you know, I just thought i'd ask.
28:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, oh, you ask everyone. No, I
28:44
Speaker 3: have not spoken to her.
28:45
Speaker 4: I don't know if she's read the book, but we
28:47
Speaker 4: haven't had any communication since.
28:49
Speaker 1: All Right, well, let's see what happens after this podcast.
28:52
Speaker 1: What is your dream vacation is one of the questions.
28:56
Speaker 4: Well, I've already done down under. That was my Dreaream vacation,
29:00
Speaker 4: which I've done. I want to do again. Balie loved it,
29:03
Speaker 4: did all of that. I have always wanted to go
29:06
Speaker 4: down to like Tahiti, stay in one of those huts
29:10
Speaker 4: like the four Seasons, like a really ridiculously expensive vacation,
29:14
Speaker 4: but I don't want to pay for it, so that's
29:16
Speaker 4: why I haven't done that yet.
29:17
Speaker 3: So one day that would be a dream vacive.
29:21
Speaker 4: Always wanted to do something like that, like Bora Bora, Yeah, yeah.
29:25
Speaker 1: Do you scuba dive or do any of that stuff?
29:28
Speaker 4: Not really, I'm very claustrophobic underwater. I'm just convinced that
29:31
Speaker 4: I'm gonna drown instantly. So when I've snorkeled in the past,
29:36
Speaker 4: I've never scubaed, but I just kind of stay above
29:39
Speaker 4: water looking at the fish because I need to know
29:42
Speaker 4: I can just come up to breathe.
29:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, And this is the thing. I mean, I love
29:45
Speaker 3: having a daughter for so many.
29:46
Speaker 4: Reasons, but she is the only person in the world
29:49
Speaker 4: who can completely get me outside of my comfort zone,
29:52
Speaker 4: get me to eat something I don't want to eat,
29:54
Speaker 4: to do something I don't want to do, and not
29:56
Speaker 4: in a spoiled way. But it's like I'm never gonna
29:58
Speaker 4: say no to my kid in sense if she wants
30:01
Speaker 4: to try an oyster, I don't want to, But if
30:04
Speaker 4: she wants Mommy to do that with her, I'm not
30:06
Speaker 4: going to say no.
30:07
Speaker 3: So we'll see what adventures we get into.
30:10
Speaker 1: So you're on a desert island or you're being sent
30:13
Speaker 1: to one what's the album you're going to take? And
30:15
Speaker 1: it can't be good as gold?
30:16
Speaker 3: It would not be good as gold. There's so many
30:21
Speaker 3: good ones.
30:22
Speaker 4: I feel like if I had to listen to one
30:25
Speaker 4: album for the rest of my life, I would want
30:28
Speaker 4: it to be like a classic rock compilation or like
30:33
Speaker 4: Elton John's Greatest Hits, Queen's Greatest Hits, like something in
30:38
Speaker 4: that Realm is something I would want on repeat forever.
30:42
Speaker 1: Awesome, all right, well, thanks, It always reveals a little
30:46
Speaker 1: something about everybody.
30:47
Speaker 3: Yeah, love it.
30:48
Speaker 1: It is so great to see you, so great to
30:51
Speaker 1: spend time on this. Everybody, go go. If you want
30:54
Speaker 1: to feel good, read about the good side. It's so good.
30:57
Speaker 3: You want to feel good as gold, good as goal.
31:00
Speaker 1: Baby. That's right. I'll see you soon, I hope, I hope.
31:05
Speaker 1: So I may see you in Vegas for sure for
31:07
Speaker 1: the Rise Festival. Yeah.
31:09
Speaker 3: Rise, We're going Friday for sure.
31:10
Speaker 1: All right, awesome, So we'll be hanging there and hopefully
31:13
Speaker 1: some more places soon. I know you're busy. I know
31:16
Speaker 1: you're doing a lot in healthcare, and we didn't even
31:19
Speaker 1: touch on the work you just did for preparation. H
31:22
Speaker 1: but that was pretty awesome.
31:25
Speaker 4: Never leave home without it. It's so recently. My daughter
31:30
Speaker 4: she has to do a paper every month for jiu
31:32
Speaker 4: jitsu and they have a life skill. It's focused respect, whatever,
31:37
Speaker 4: and last month was preparation and all I could think
31:40
Speaker 4: about is just an h at the end of that.
31:42
Speaker 3: But I'm like, we're not going to do that kind
31:44
Speaker 3: of preparation too much. Proud than Tom's all those things.
31:49
Speaker 3: Need it. Put it in my body, get my soul off.
31:51
Speaker 3: I'm good to go.
31:52
Speaker 1: Awesome. Well, thank you, Shena.
31:54
Speaker 3: We'll see you so much. You're so good to see you.
31:59
Speaker 1: Hey everyone, thanks for joining me on the Get Real podcast.
32:02
Speaker 1: You know, I hope you feel a little healthier hanging
32:04
Speaker 1: out with me. You know it's gonna be a lot
32:07
Speaker 1: of fun. Passing this along to others. Please subscribe below,
32:11
Speaker 1: Please share. I'm excited not just to talk about healthcare,
32:15
Speaker 1: but a lot of other fun topics. It's about making
32:19
Speaker 1: healthy talk about healthcare. It is not a lecture. This
32:23
Speaker 1: is supposed to be fun and look forward to spending
32:25
Speaker 1: more time with you in the future.