Latest / A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart / Does Flirting Work? The Psychology of Signaling Interest
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Let's cut to the chase. Does flirting actually work? Psychologists
- 0:04Speaker 1: would say very much so. In fact, according to an
- 0:07Speaker 1: article by self-help blogger and psychology writer, Eric Barker, research
- 0:11Speaker 1: has proven that flirting and signaling your availability to someone
- 0:15Speaker 1: is a better predictor of romantic interest than attractiveness. Generally
- 0:19Speaker 1: characterized by specific gestures, body language, and direct or indirect
- 0:24Speaker 1: social cues, sex educator and relationship coach Kelly Gonsalves defines
- 0:29Speaker 1: flirting as any method you use to signal to someone
- 0:32Speaker 1: that you find them interesting and want to engage with
- 0:34Speaker 1: them further. Usually a fun and lighthearted activity between two
- 0:38Speaker 1: people who find each other attractive and flirting should feel
- 0:41Speaker 1: good for both parties involved and spark feelings of curiosity
- 0:44Speaker 1: and excitement. With that said, if you want to let
- 0:47Speaker 1: someone know you're interested in them, but your fear of
- 0:50Speaker 1: rejection is stopping you from saying it outright, don't worry.
- 0:53Speaker 1: Here are seven subtle and psychology-backed ways to flirt. Number one,
- 0:59Speaker 1: flirtatious facial expressions. Because it's often more socially acceptable for
- 1:03Speaker 1: men to make the first move, women tend to flirt
- 1:05Speaker 1: mainly through facial expressions and other nonverbal cues. Psychologist Jeremy
- 1:10Speaker 1: Nicholson states that some of the most common examples of
- 1:13Speaker 1: these include turning your head to one side, tilting your
- 1:17Speaker 1: chin down slightly, tossing your hair over your shoulder, and
- 1:20Speaker 1: biting your lip while smiling. As for men, number two,
- 1:26Speaker 1: smile slowly. While it's not unheard of for men to
- 1:29Speaker 1: follow a few of the same flirty facial expressions as women,
- 1:32Speaker 1: according to psychologist and professor at California State University, Dr.
- 1:36Speaker 1: Pamela Reagan, smiling is the single most effective and most
- 1:40Speaker 1: universal method to convey romantic interest. To be more specific,
- 1:45Speaker 1: when a man smiles slowly at a woman, it's less
- 1:49Speaker 1: likely to be mistaken as just a casual smile of friendliness.
- 1:53Speaker 1: Number three, brief glances. Similar to the last point, glancing
- 1:58Speaker 1: briefly at someone only to look away is another subtle
- 2:01Speaker 1: but well-known flirting technique often done by both genders. In Dr.
- 2:05Speaker 1: Pamela Reagan's book, Close Relationships, she writes that doing so
- 2:09Speaker 1: indicates preferential attention and is a clear sign of positive
- 2:13Speaker 1: romantic intentions. So if you want to flirt with someone
- 2:16Speaker 1: but fear rejection, just steal a few glances at them
- 2:19Speaker 1: from time to time until they notice. Number four, feather
- 2:24Speaker 1: light touch. Still, self-help expert Eric Barker insists that the
- 2:30Speaker 1: flirting technique that works better than anything else is a
- 2:34Speaker 1: simple touch. But don't worry, you don't have to invade
- 2:37Speaker 1: someone's personal space and worry about making them uncomfortable with
- 2:40Speaker 1: your touch just to let them know you're interested. There
- 2:43Speaker 1: are some ways of flirting through subtle touch, such as
- 2:46Speaker 1: a light brush against their shoulder or forearm, a lingering
- 2:49Speaker 1: hand on their waist, or casually touching their hair. Number five,
- 2:54Speaker 1: mind your appearance. Another great but subtle way of flirting
- 2:57Speaker 1: with someone is to be more mindful of your appearance
- 3:00Speaker 1: when you're around them. And no, that doesn't mean always
- 3:02Speaker 1: checking the mirror while they're talking to you, because that
- 3:05Speaker 1: may make you seem vain and uninterested. but simply making
- 3:10Speaker 1: a bit of extra effort to look nice for them
- 3:12Speaker 1: than yourself. Think a fine hairstyle or some nice new clothes.
- 3:18Speaker 1: Psychologist Jeremy Nicholson categorizes this as a physical way of flirting,
- 3:22Speaker 1: along with practicing attractive body language and using touch to
- 3:25Speaker 1: build attraction, like what we talked about earlier. Number six,
- 3:29Speaker 1: tickle their funny bone. Speaking of the different flirting styles,
- 3:33Speaker 1: another one is the playful flirting style, wherein the goal
- 3:36Speaker 1: is more about having fun than trying to start a relationship.
- 3:39Speaker 1: In an article from Psychology Today, Dr. Nicholson stated that
- 3:42Speaker 1: playful flirts know how to keep people interested by showing
- 3:46Speaker 1: off their fun-spirited personality and great sense of humor. So
- 3:49Speaker 1: if all else fails, you can always try your luck
- 3:52Speaker 1: tickling the other person's funny bone, always trying to make
- 3:55Speaker 1: them laugh and finding ways to have fun with them
- 3:57Speaker 1: to let them know your true feelings. Number seven, be
- 4:01Speaker 1: more yourself. Finally, but perhaps most importantly, as cliche as
- 4:05Speaker 1: it sounds, Being your authentic self with someone you like
- 4:09Speaker 1: is a great way to flirt with them. Why? Well,
- 4:12Speaker 1: according to dating coach Clara Artswager, thinking, okay, how do
- 4:16Speaker 1: I flirt better? I think this is the very thing
- 4:19Speaker 1: that kills our ability to have that kind of interaction. Instead,
- 4:23Speaker 1: she suggests that we approach flirting by being more ourselves
- 4:26Speaker 1: and feeling more at ease with ourselves around the person
- 4:29Speaker 1: we like. And with this, we'll come to a winning
- 4:32Speaker 1: sense of confidence that can draw people in and make
- 4:34Speaker 1: them more interested in you. In summary, successful flirting starts
- 4:38Speaker 1: with a friendly and inviting approach, engaging conversations, social interactions,
- 4:43Speaker 1: and a mutual physical and emotional attraction towards one another. Still,
- 4:47Speaker 1: psychologists and relationship experts such as Archwager do maintain that
- 4:51Speaker 1: because flirting is so personal, there is no single foolproof
- 4:55Speaker 1: way that will work for everybody on everybody. So aside
- 4:58Speaker 1: from following these empirically based tips, it's also important that
- 5:02Speaker 1: you work on being more at ease with yourself and
- 5:04Speaker 1: around the person you like. Have fun when you flirt.
- 5:07Speaker 1: Try to make some sparks fly and see where it
- 5:09Speaker 1: goes from there. Be sure to let us know some
- 5:12Speaker 1: of your own personal ways to subtly flirt in the
- 5:14Speaker 1: comments down below.