Latest / It's Mom O'Clock / EPISODE 49: Are Sleepovers Cancelled? (Plus: Sneaking Boyfriends and MDW Chaos)

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EPISODE 49: Are Sleepovers Cancelled? (Plus: Sneaking Boyfriends and MDW Chaos) · It's Mom O'Clock

• 0:01
  Speaker A: Hello.
• 0:02
  Speaker B: You guys, stop. Is it mom o' clock yet? I'm going crazy. Heck yeah. It's Mama clock somewhere. Welcome back. Is Mom o'? Clock.
• 0:17
  Speaker A: It's Mom o'. Clock. But it's only Wednesday at 12pm It's Mom O'.
• 0:22
  Speaker B: Clock.
• 0:23
  Speaker A: It's MOC. Whatever sticks. Someone help us out with an intro. We can't figure it out.
• 0:28
  Speaker B: We need a jingler.
• 0:29
  Speaker A: We're so happy to have you, though. Welcome back.
• 0:31
  Speaker B: After Memorial Day weekend. How was yours?
• 0:34
  Speaker A: Are you exhausted?
• 0:35
  Speaker B: I'm tired.
• 0:36
  Speaker A: First of all, she's hungover. She's acting like a teen. Drinking, partying. I need to quit. Not knowing where her children are. Stop. And then there's me.
• 0:49
  Speaker B: To be fair, I left one kid at home, so I was at a party with two and I felt free.
• 0:55
  Speaker A: Okay, I understand. I'm happy that you did that. But it. You threw up yesterday.
• 0:59
  Speaker B: Well, I was hungover.
• 1:01
  Speaker A: I could never be me. Anyway, I honestly enjoyed my holiday weekend. We had a lot of family time. Mom, dad, brother, sister in law, husband, kids. We did boardwalk. We were at the Jersey Shore. You know, we did arcades, we did dinners.
• 1:20
  Speaker B: Sounds fun.
• 1:21
  Speaker A: Yeah, we just like had a low key.
• 1:23
  Speaker B: How different was it then from in your.
• 1:26
  Speaker A: I sent to my sister in law. I said I would never miss a Memorial Day weekend, let alone not stand in a line at DJs or at Osprey or at.
• 1:38
  Speaker B: Did you see the line at Parker House this week?
• 1:40
  Speaker A: Parker House.
• 1:41
  Speaker B: They were holding umbrellas.
• 1:42
  Speaker A: I stand in that line and like, oh, yeah, right now. You couldn't actually pay me 1 million. 1 milli. 1 mil to stand in. Parker has long.
• 1:51
  Speaker B: Oh, I would do it for like 30 bucks.
• 1:53
  Speaker A: You probably would. Well, you know, I. That was like my spot. I mean, like, the line was the party. Like before you go into the party. Parker House. Like, the line was the fun.
• 2:03
  Speaker B: So fun.
• 2:03
  Speaker A: Now I'm like, ugh. Could never. In the rain, getting wet, allergic. So anyway, much different. But I do miss it sometimes. Sometimes I'm like, I had a lot of fun. That's what Snapchat's for. I just kind of go through my Snapchat. I'm like, oh, my God. I used to be so fun and cool.
• 2:21
  Speaker B: Oh, like you look back at your old Snapchat.
• 2:23
  Speaker A: Yeah. Like, never had a stomach ache. Always drank different substances within my body.
• 2:29
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 2:29
  Speaker A: And I was fine. Now I'm like, I'm drop dead. If I took a sip of anything other than red wine, I would drop dead.
• 2:35
  Speaker B: Yeah. And you can't even light a Candle.
• 2:37
  Speaker A: Can't even light a candle.
• 2:38
  Speaker B: Can't.
• 2:38
  Speaker A: I can't even light a candle anymore.
• 2:40
  Speaker B: I just want to light a candle.
• 2:41
  Speaker A: I know. But anyway, so what was like.
• 2:43
  Speaker B: Cause I know what we did back in the day. Yeah.
• 2:47
  Speaker A: Like, what did you guys do when we were all there?
• 2:49
  Speaker B: Same thing you did, honey.
• 2:50
  Speaker A: Same thoughts.
• 2:51
  Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, we were at bar. We were at Parker House. Did you do DJs? We did DJs. But, like, our crew liked bar better than DJs. Much better.
• 3:00
  Speaker A: You were definitely a bar. A crew.
• 3:01
  Speaker B: Yeah. I would live and die at Bar A. You would. I wanted to get married there at one point. I was like, this would be a great spot right here, this sand pit.
• 3:11
  Speaker A: So where did you used to hang out at bar? The Sandbar.
• 3:13
  Speaker B: The Sandbar and then that bar. I mean, when it was shot o'. Clock. The shot o'. Clock?
• 3:18
  Speaker A: Yeah, the wheel.
• 3:19
  Speaker B: The Wheel.
• 3:19
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
• 3:20
  Speaker B: I would.
• 3:20
  Speaker A: I made out so many times by that wheel.
• 3:22
  Speaker B: Yeah, we. You know, my friends and I used to do. We would sleep at. I bet it's not even there anymore. The Belmar Inn. Shout out to the Belmarin. It was, like, down the street from Baray. We'd all pay, like, 20 bucks for a room, and we would just stay there for days on end. At. You guys were ratchet. Oh, we were ratchet. It was disgusting in that place. We thought that they had hidden cameras. Like, actually, they probably did.
• 3:48
  Speaker A: They definitely did.
• 3:48
  Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
• 3:49
  Speaker A: We put on them and it's probably somewhere.
• 3:50
  Speaker B: Yeah, I want to see.
• 3:51
  Speaker A: I don't. Well, anyway, now that you know our Memorial Day weekend is much different. As mothers, let's get into what we're talking about, because being a mom in this day and age, I hate it. I wish I was back in the 90s. But we're gonna talk all things. Sleepovers.
• 4:08
  Speaker B: Sleepovers. Bring me back. Well, actually, so this Memorial Day, my girlfriends and I, we decided, oh, gosh. So it was a rainy day. Rainy weekend. Right. There was rainy life, rainy life, shitty ass weather. And we're like, all right, we're all gonna go to my friend's house, and me and my girlfriend are like, okay, we're just gonna pack a bag just in case. I have a pack.
• 4:30
  Speaker A: And play.
• 4:30
  Speaker B: Have a couple bags just in case. We just want to stay.
• 4:33
  Speaker A: That's smart.
• 4:35
  Speaker B: So we just got a little too drunk. We got our husbands a little too drunk to drive home, and we just. You slept there? Oh, yeah.
• 4:42
  Speaker A: Wait, when?
• 4:43
  Speaker B: We slept there on Saturday night.
• 4:46
  Speaker A: Oh, you did?
• 4:47
  Speaker B: Yeah, with the kids, with the Kids.
• 4:48
  Speaker A: And they just wake up.
• 4:49
  Speaker B: Just wake up. I brought the bouncy house, we brought bagels, and we just. We made it like it was just a Hotel for 10 hours.
• 4:56
  Speaker A: Whose house was it?
• 4:57
  Speaker B: Amrita's. It was so fun.
• 4:59
  Speaker A: How many slept there?
• 5:00
  Speaker B: I don't know. Seven kids, four adults.
• 5:03
  Speaker A: That's fun.
• 5:03
  Speaker B: Eight adults. Yeah, it was so fun. But, like, have the sleepover, like, and our kids just woke up like, they were so excited to be together.
• 5:10
  Speaker A: So you're saying as a mom with your kids, have the sleepover with your friends?
• 5:13
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 5:14
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 5:14
  Speaker B: I think there's nothing this time in my life right now. It is so fun. There's nothing more fun than to be with my friends and. And my kids and their kids.
• 5:22
  Speaker A: Totally. And now, now that they're playing, we're planning a vacation.
• 5:26
  Speaker B: Like, I'm so excited. Like, it's just gonna be like, planning a vacation. We're planning a vacation.
• 5:30
  Speaker A: Wait, I'm sorry.
• 5:31
  Speaker B: I haven't talked to you in five days.
• 5:32
  Speaker A: Wait, am I coming on the vacation?
• 5:34
  Speaker B: You can come. It's a whole life. Well, you're going to Aruba and I'm not invited.
• 5:39
  Speaker A: I thought you were coming to Aruba.
• 5:40
  Speaker B: I can only go on so many vacations.
• 5:42
  Speaker A: Where are you going on vacation?
• 5:43
  Speaker B: Well, we're planning on going to Dominican.
• 5:46
  Speaker A: Oh, no, I'm not going to the doctor.
• 5:47
  Speaker B: Okay, you're not coming?
• 5:49
  Speaker A: No. Thanks. Yeah. So you're bring your kids to the doctor?
• 5:52
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 5:53
  Speaker A: Go to Florida. Oh.
• 5:54
  Speaker B: We have a villa. It's going to be beautiful. There's nannies, butlers.
• 6:00
  Speaker A: So you're saying as an adult with your kids. I like that idea. If the sleepover's at my house.
• 6:07
  Speaker B: Oh, like you want to be like
• 6:08
  Speaker A: all my friends and all the friends. Kids, like, you have to remember, I don't have any friends who have kids right now.
• 6:12
  Speaker B: Oh, no, we're in different stages right now. This, right now is prime time. Be with my friends. Be with my friends. Kids like that, we are just having.
• 6:19
  Speaker A: They all get along.
• 6:19
  Speaker B: They all get along. On Memorial Day on Monday, we were there. We stayed till like 10 o' clock at night. All the kids were just playing. I didn't even see my kids. They were just playing in the pool downstairs. They were playing Wiffle ball in the front. Like, I didn't even know where they were. It was amazing. Yeah, that's why I got too drunk.
• 6:37
  Speaker A: So. So you don't care whose house it is at? I prefer to be at my house.
• 6:43
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 6:44
  Speaker A: With my kids and my friends. I just like to host.
• 6:47
  Speaker B: Yeah, I prefer to not be at my house with.
• 6:50
  Speaker A: Also like somewhere else.
• 6:51
  Speaker B: Yeah. And like our house is just my friends, they have big houses. It's just better to all be there.
• 6:58
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 6:58
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 6:59
  Speaker A: Nice.
• 6:59
  Speaker B: But let's bring it back to.
• 7:01
  Speaker A: Let's bring it back.
• 7:02
  Speaker B: Sleepovers.
• 7:03
  Speaker A: Bring me back to when you were younger. Your first sleepover.
• 7:07
  Speaker B: Oh my God, my first sleepover. Think about it. So the funny thing is I was, I was a girl who was allowed to have sleepovers. My mom said if she had to parent again, she would never let me have a sleepover. And that would really change my entire childhood.
• 7:23
  Speaker A: Totally.
• 7:24
  Speaker B: Like before, before we were like, before the drinking age. We would sleep over and it was like so playful and fun. Like, sleepover with your girlfriends. Oh my God, they were so fun. We were, we would play girl talk and Dream phone. Remember that game where you put pimples on your face? Nowadays girls are literally doing Sephora hauls and doing face masks and we were putting pimples on our face.
• 7:50
  Speaker A: I know. So you were allowed. At what age was your first sleepover?
• 7:55
  Speaker B: I mean, if my mom knew, like, if my mom knew the parents, like, we would have girl sleepovers all the time.
• 8:00
  Speaker A: At what age did you start?
• 8:02
  Speaker B: Maybe like middle 8, 9, 10? Like I would sleep at the Goldner's house. We would.
• 8:09
  Speaker A: Yeah, those are your best friends.
• 8:10
  Speaker B: Yeah. I remember one time, like, were you the sleepover house?
• 8:14
  Speaker A: People sleep at you? Were you.
• 8:15
  Speaker B: Yeah, people. People would sleep at my house when we were younger, after we started drinking. It was never my house because I was not allowed to drink.
• 8:23
  Speaker A: Oh my God. You were that kid who. Your mom didn't think you drank.
• 8:25
  Speaker B: I mean, I don't. She must have known that I drank.
• 8:28
  Speaker A: Had to have known.
• 8:29
  Speaker B: Had to. But we'll dive into that in a minute. But so I remember my first sleepover at a house that like, I wasn't, I didn't. I wasn't. She was a new friend, so that I was 10 years old, I think. And my mom was like a little bit like, iffy if I could go. But I remember she, her and my dad went to meet the parents and everything was fine. So I slept over this girl's house. And I remember just feeling like, eerie, like I, I wasn't, it wasn't that I was unsafe, but I was like, it was in a new environment. I didn't know her that well. I didn't know her parents. And I remember in the morning, remember there wasn't cell phones. Like I was 10. Right. So would have to call your mom would have to call my mom. So I remember she was begging me to go to their family barbecue, like, the next morning, and I was already at the house, and I wasn't, like, old enough to, like. Like, say, like, no. Like, I just. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. But I remember she was like, just call your mom. Ask her. I was like, okay. So I called my mom, and, like, I could bring back, like, the feeling I had. I was like, please, mom, like, just read my voice. Read my voice. And I was like, hi, mom. So and so wants me to go to their family barbecue. Can I go? And my mom and I talked about it with her after. She knew right away I didn't want to do whatever that I was asking. And she was like, no, honey, you have to come home. I'm coming to pick you up right now. And I was like, fuck, yes. I love my mom. I love my mom for hearing it in my voice. You just know.
• 9:55
  Speaker A: Yes.
• 9:55
  Speaker B: You just know. So she picked me up, and she was like, what happened? I was like, I just. I. I don't want to sleep there again. No. God, no. But my mom was like. And after that day, like, we. I think it's really important to have, like, a. Either a code word or something. Like, if your mom just knows, like, you don't want to be somewhere. I saw this thing where nowadays people have, like, emojis. So, like, you send your mom, like, the watermelon emoji or something, like a random emoji you wouldn't use, and it's like, she knows, like, to come get you or something's not right. And I think that is, like, with this day and age, like, it's sad that you have to do that, but, like, it's really important to talk to your kids and do things like that, because sometimes you're just in a bad place.
• 10:34
  Speaker A: There wasn't cell phones back then. Also, I feel like you act from what you say. So, like, people have done weird things at sleepovers, like parents or kids or whatever. And then one person sees that, they're like, well, oh, I kind of have that in me. I'm gonna do that. And I feel like that's why it's gotten so bad.
• 10:50
  Speaker B: Well, also.
• 10:51
  Speaker A: Or it's always been in them, and then people just are getting caught. I don't really know the difference, but.
• 10:54
  Speaker B: No, but sleepovers are tough. Cause it's like a. It's like your adolescence. So, like, you're in this stage where, like, you want to experiment. You Want to do things or make friends. You want to make friends and like, that's all good. Like, I feel like I'm going to have a very fine line of like wanting my kids to experience things. Experience things, but also being like so scared that they're gonna.
• 11:14
  Speaker A: I'm surprised that Joey hasn't had like. Oh, he's five, I guess.
• 11:16
  Speaker B: No, he will never have a sleepover.
• 11:19
  Speaker A: So I feel like my first sleepover was at the same age, like probably 10, 11. Was like with one of my best friends and she lived down the street. So I grew up with that family like my whole life. So like my first sleepover was with her. I remember like she had like a. Her, a twin bed or single or whatever it's called. And then a bed pulled out from underneath it and I slept there. But it was just like we would, we would just talk, like pillow talk all night long. And she was my best friend. She was growing up my whole life. And even from that on, like I would stay with her family down the shore for like three weeks.
• 11:56
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 11:56
  Speaker A: Like I lived with them and I didn't think twice about it. Like, I loved sleepovers.
• 12:01
  Speaker B: Right.
• 12:02
  Speaker A: And on top of that, like everybody always came to my house to sleep over like later on in life. But like as a young kid, I feel like I always slept at one of my friend's house all the time. We did like big girl sleepovers. Another house. I was always at my one friends. But then we would always go to another friends and sleep there as like a group of like, I don't know, like 10 of us.
• 12:24
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 12:24
  Speaker A: And have you ever had like a bad experience at a sleepover with like your friends where like something bad happens the next morning and like it. That's the start of like the horror in your friendship?
• 12:35
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 12:35
  Speaker A: So like one time we had a huge sleepover. I'm probably telling this story wrong, but we all slept over.
• 12:38
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 12:39
  Speaker A: And we were watching A Walk to Remember.
• 12:40
  Speaker B: This is just girls sleepover girls. Okay. Yeah.
• 12:42
  Speaker A: But we were like very. We had a boy group too. So I'm getting there. But anyway, so we had a girl sleepover and it was like a huge. It was a huge one. It was like two groups together, but we were trying to combine. But like this is why we're separate.
• 12:55
  Speaker B: Right.
• 12:55
  Speaker A: And we watched A Walk to Remember. I Remember is one of my favorite movies. Yeah. And we pulled an all nighter. We woke up at like 6. We were up until like 6 o' clock in the morning and our guy guys came, knew we were There and rode their bikes to our house and something happened where they wanted to see one girl and not the other. I might have been involved in that. I'm not sure. And then it broke the group up. And we will always remember that sleepover till the day we die. Like, it was like something on that sleepover happened and that split the group up. So anyway, I just had to tell that story. But I was always allowed to sleep out. Yeah, I don't remember ever there being. Unless there was boys. Like, no boys allowed. My dad was very strict on that. Like, no boys in my house, no boys upstairs. But boys were able to come to my backyard and, like, hang in the pool and, like, do all that.
• 13:41
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 13:41
  Speaker A: Because it was at my house. I never thought about that. Why were the boys always around and why was I able to do so much? Well, because everything held was held at my house. Even the drinking. Like, the drinking was always. The parties were always at my house.
• 13:54
  Speaker B: You guys were a lot. Your parents let you.
• 13:56
  Speaker A: Because they. They were the type of parents where if it's under my roof. I mean, it was a fine line of, like, I don't want to be liable, you know, But I think they felt safe knowing that because we were good kids. So they felt safe knowing that we were bringing our crew back to our. But growing up, I definitely was allowed to sleep out. There was never like any. You know, I have a. I have a friend who. Her dad was so strict, she wasn't allowed to do anything. So it made her kind of, you know, do more. You know.
• 14:21
  Speaker B: Did she rebel?
• 14:22
  Speaker A: I mean, she was very close with her family, so kind of like, you are. Mom didn't know you were drinking, but, like, you did 10 times more. But, like, you were still close with your mom, so she kind of knew what you were doing. Yeah, that's kind of how it was.
• 14:33
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 14:34
  Speaker A: But still, like, I was always allowed to do everything. And I think that's why I turned out the way I did and why I'm so responsible. Because I was never.
• 14:42
  Speaker B: I mean, I was like a hard.
• 14:43
  Speaker A: It was never hard. I mean, at the end of the day, I was. I guess I was always at my house, but I was never able. My mom and dad never said no.
• 14:49
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 14:49
  Speaker A: Like, I was always able to go down the shore for three weeks with my friends or go to 3rd Ave. And hang out or, you know, and things happen. I experience things, but I think that's made me who I am. And I swear to God, my dad says this to this day. Like, he was strict but not. But he, he built us to, like, do what we were able to do and have the consequences that we received. And it built us. Like, it made me not want to be the slut. It made me not want to be a drug addict. Like, you know what I mean? That's why I think I'm afraid. But now, as a parent, now that was the 90s. Like, that was like way back when, in the 2000s. Like, I wasn't. They were probably not as afraid as they would be now. Now I'm like, I want to raise my kids how my parents raised me, how I turned out, because I was able to do the things, but I knew what I shouldn't be doing because my dad ingrained it in my head. But now I'm like, it's just like a different world. Like, we were both able to do sleepovers. Like, there was no question sleepovers were a thing.
• 15:44
  Speaker B: No, I did. So I was able to do sleepovers. Like, I remember this. So I had this really good girlfriend. She was a new friend. She just came into town. Her mom had just passed away of breast cancer and she had five siblings. So she was. She lived on the other side of the town. So you have the south side, the north side. It's like the rich side, the poor side, the slutty side, the not slutty side. So she was on like the other side of town. And my mom was like, you're not allowed to sleep at that house. And I was like, mom, like, her mom just passed away. Like, and we were really, really close. And my mom became really close with her too. And like, helped, like, just she would always come to our house. And like, my mom was like a mother figure to her. But my point is, now looking back as a mom, that house was a fucking animal house. The dad was nowhere. The dad worked nights, so he was never around. He had a 16 year old, a 14 year old, a 11 year old, and like a 4 year old. Like the baby was a baby when the mom died. And like, of course my mom didn't want me to sleep there because who was watching the kids, the older siblings? It was just like one of those houses that like, anything goes and obviously have stories. Like, I've slept there before and my mom didn't know about it. And I remember what went on when I slept there. I'm like, that is exactly why she never wanted me to sleep at that house. And it's just crazy to think about because when you're a kid and like you, you want to do all the things, and you don't really think about the consequences. But, like, my poor mom is just home. Like, I could put myself in my mom's shoes. My mom, I can't imagine even, like, sleeping out. Like, I would. I need to know my kid is safe in their bed in my house. Like, I don't know how I'm gonna do. Yeah. Like, I'm. I don't know if I'll do well with sleepovers.
• 17:30
  Speaker A: So I just feel like my. My problem is I never had to sneak out. Like, I feel like you just mentioned, like, you. You were at places where your mom didn't know you were. Like, I never did that.
• 17:43
  Speaker B: Right. Well, because I wasn't allowed to sleep at this girl's house, so I was living at.
• 17:46
  Speaker A: Man, I, like, never had to do that. I never had to pretend I was. When I was older, literally, like, six years ago, like, before I met Michael, I would tell my mom, sleeping at. Just because I don't feel like telling her I'm sleeping with a cop in Newark. Like, you know what I mean?
• 17:59
  Speaker B: I don't feel like telling you. My.
• 18:01
  Speaker A: She wouldn't care. But I don't feel like talking about it. Like, I don't feel like her being like, why would you go there? Like, you know, but at that age, like, I never snuck out. I never lied. I never, you know, I would, like, go missing in Bahamas and, like, my mom would, like, beat the shit out
• 18:14
  Speaker B: of me, like, murder you.
• 18:15
  Speaker A: But, like, I would never be like, I'm not telling my mom I'm doing this. I mean, you know, I think there's,
• 18:19
  Speaker B: like, a fine line, but people lie.
• 18:21
  Speaker A: My kids better not lie to me.
• 18:23
  Speaker B: Yeah. Lying is really.
• 18:25
  Speaker A: No, because God forbid, then you're like, my kid's not there.
• 18:28
  Speaker B: No. Yeah, I actually just read this other thing. It was popping up on my feed. This one, this girl was at a party, and she told her mom she was somewhere and she wasn't where she was. And it was 2am and she was in an unsafe situation. And she just called her mom and said, mom, I need you to pick me up. I'm at so and so's house. And the mom came, no questions asked, took her home. And the girl says that she'll never forget. Like, her mom just. Her mom was just so happy that she made the phone call. She made the phone call. She didn't care about the lying. She was just happy that in that moment, she felt safe enough to call her own mom to pick her up. So I'm like, I Want my. And my mom always told me that. She was like, I don't care where you are. Like, if you need me, I will be there.
• 19:10
  Speaker A: So you always called your mom?
• 19:12
  Speaker B: I always called my mom.
• 19:12
  Speaker A: I always called my dad.
• 19:13
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 19:14
  Speaker A: Just because.
• 19:15
  Speaker B: Well, actually, I called Joey's dad.
• 19:17
  Speaker A: Like, I just feel like my mom would react.
• 19:19
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 19:21
  Speaker A: Like, yeah, right in that moment, which you don't want.
• 19:25
  Speaker B: Right.
• 19:25
  Speaker A: But my dad would just show up, no questions asked, you need me, I'll be there type of thing. So I feel like I didn't not call my mom because I didn't feel safe. I just feel like my dad would just, like, come, no questions. Like, it wouldn't. My mom would, like, ask me seven questions, and I'd be like, I have a knife to my head. I mean, a gun to my head. Like, you know what I mean?
• 19:40
  Speaker B: It's funny to think about, like, well, so I didn't grow up. Like, calling my dad was like, not. He wasn't around.
• 19:45
  Speaker A: Gun to my head is crazy.
• 19:46
  Speaker B: I was like a little crazy country.
• 19:49
  Speaker A: Like, you know what I mean?
• 19:51
  Speaker B: So, like, if my kids were out, like, who would they call?
• 19:53
  Speaker A: I mean, how do you. How do you. I know. Like, how do you. How do you be the parent that your kids call? Like, what do you do?
• 20:01
  Speaker B: You have to just be really open with them and say shit like, I don't care where you are. If you need me, I will be there. You'll call me and you won't get in trouble or.
• 20:09
  Speaker A: I just. I feel like I have to go everywhere with my kids.
• 20:12
  Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I. I think there's a. There's a good line between, like, fearing your parents, but. But also, like, respecting them enough not to lie to them. Totally.
• 20:22
  Speaker A: I never lied. I really didn't. Really didn't lie. So let's move on to maybe, like, older years.
• 20:27
  Speaker B: Older years. Oh, the good old days.
• 20:31
  Speaker A: Like, I definitely. I definitely. I never snuck out, but I definitely said I was places that I wasn't.
• 20:37
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 20:38
  Speaker A: Like, I could count on one hand. I could count on one hand. But, like, literally, like, six years ago. But I, I. In college, I mean, I was away for six years. Like, I slept out for six years. So I didn't mind, you know, having sleepovers and stuff like that. Like, but we didn't do it as often. We were in a house with girls in college. Like, it was just kind of stopped. I felt like, well, college, like, you're
• 20:59
  Speaker B: already out of the house.
• 20:59
  Speaker A: Yeah, exactly.
• 21:00
  Speaker B: I'm talking about high school. Like, high school.
• 21:04
  Speaker A: I feel like, we didn't.
• 21:05
  Speaker B: We slept. I slept every weekend.
• 21:07
  Speaker A: Weekends, yeah.
• 21:08
  Speaker B: Joey's house, my husband Joey's house.
• 21:10
  Speaker A: Yeah, but that was your boyfriend.
• 21:12
  Speaker B: No, I know, but I don't know. Like, my mom let me do that. There was one. There was one period of time where I guess I wasn't allowed to sleep out. I remember hiding. He had a loft in his room. He had a spiral staircase up, and it was like, this loft area. And I remember hiding up there, and his. His parents were home. And I just remember being, like, this little girl, like, stuck in the loft, like, scared to, like, come out because they didn't know I was over. And there was actually, like, a secret, like, crawling through the walls, and it led to the garage.
• 21:44
  Speaker A: Why weren't you allowed to be there?
• 21:46
  Speaker B: I guess I was slept over and it was, like, early in the morning.
• 21:48
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Like, oh, my God, am I okay? In high school, my mom would know that my ex was sleeping at my house and he would have to leave early in the morning. So my dad didn't say, oh, so you hit.
• 22:00
  Speaker B: So you had.
• 22:00
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Always. I forgot. My mom was, like, so cool with that. Like, I would meet up with a boy, and then she would drive.
• 22:05
  Speaker B: You had to hide it from your dad. So your mom knew and your dad knew? Yes.
• 22:08
  Speaker A: Like, I would have to hide everything from my dad.
• 22:10
  Speaker B: That is where I'm gonna struggle, because I could. I could see Vienna coming to me like, yeah, I'm hoping we'll be close. And telling me something. I want to. I want to be like, oh, my God, we can't tell Daddy. But also, I want to be a united front where I'm like, okay, I'm telling your father.
• 22:25
  Speaker A: No. Like, my mom never told my dad. Like, she would drive me to the gym to meet this boy, and I. He would never tell me. She would never tell my dad. And then my ex would, like, judge leave, like, the house in the morning. That's so, like, careless. I mean, not careless. That's so, like, minuscule. Like, yeah, it's not a big deal. My mom, if. You know the family and, you know, like, it's not a big deal, I guess. But, yeah, I did stuff like that. I mean, we were meeting in a car for half of our relationship because nobody could know we were together. We got hotel rooms. Dirty, rinky dink hotel rooms near where I live. To hide you. Yes, yes. Paid $80. I remember. Often I thought.
• 23:06
  Speaker B: Joe, I thought about doing that the other day.
• 23:09
  Speaker A: Often we would get a hotel room and do that, and Like, I guess that was, like. That was a high school, college life of mine, where I just got hotel rooms and, like, didn't tell my parents, pretend I was sleeping out.
• 23:18
  Speaker B: Excuse me. So you would book the room, you
• 23:20
  Speaker A: would go sleep there, and my friend would pick me up in the morning so no one would know we were together. And my parents are sleeping out, and so did my friends.
• 23:28
  Speaker B: That's crazy.
• 23:29
  Speaker A: Well, that was because no one wanted us to be together, so I just kind of had to hide it.
• 23:31
  Speaker B: That's kind of.
• 23:32
  Speaker A: But it's also, like, really fun.
• 23:33
  Speaker B: I love that.
• 23:33
  Speaker A: Like, that was our thing. My friend would get so mad, she would have, like, one more Thanksgiving morning. She had to pick me up once, because Thanksgiving Eve, we went out, went to a hotel room. So I guess, like, that age, I was kind of, like, hiding.
• 23:44
  Speaker B: This is not the Ritz Carlton. This is. No, this is in.
• 23:47
  Speaker A: This is the building.
• 23:48
  Speaker B: Red roof.
• 23:48
  Speaker A: This was, like, the hotel that, like, drug addicts stayed at. No, it was so bad.
• 23:54
  Speaker B: It was next door.
• 23:54
  Speaker A: Like, we were walking in, like, there's, like, probably blood on the sheets. I can't believe I did that.
• 24:00
  Speaker B: No. That's crazy.
• 24:01
  Speaker A: But I just was so young, in love. Okay. So at that age, sleepovers weren't a thing, but hiding was a thing for me. High school, college.
• 24:11
  Speaker B: I mean, I. Yeah.
• 24:13
  Speaker A: Which I don't want my kids to do that.
• 24:15
  Speaker B: If I wasn't sleeping out, like, if I knew that I was sleeping out, that's when I was like, okay, I got the green light. I know I can get drunk. I know I don't have to get in a car. I know I can just, like, stay there. And that was it.
• 24:25
  Speaker A: So never drink and drive.
• 24:26
  Speaker B: No. And my friends never did that.
• 24:28
  Speaker A: No. Neither did we.
• 24:29
  Speaker B: We never did. No. The older greens.
• 24:31
  Speaker A: Yeah. No, I know. It's so bad. I mean, I hate that.
• 24:34
  Speaker B: But I was actually talking to my girlfriend, so her parents were very social, so they would go out on Friday and Saturday nights, and they selfishly would let her sleep out just because they didn't want to pick her up because they were always drunk, which is so funny. And I feel like I could probably relate to that. Sorry, V, I can't come get you, but I'll send you an Uber.
• 24:52
  Speaker A: Yeah, like, stay at your friend's house. But I also feel like my mom knew I was lying because I never slept out, like, at an older age. I never slept out, like, at a younger age. I did, because it was, like, play dates. But, like, at an older age, my mom would Know, be like, where are you going? Because she knew I wasn't gonna sleep at so and so's house.
• 25:07
  Speaker B: I don't do that in the norm.
• 25:09
  Speaker A: No, not at that time. So.
• 25:11
  Speaker B: Oh, my God. We'd sleep at Manny's house every weekend. She'd throw the party. If I knew. If I knew Manny was throwing a party and I was sleeping at Manny's house, it was game on. Like.
• 25:22
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 25:23
  Speaker B: Oh, my God.
• 25:23
  Speaker A: So fun.
• 25:24
  Speaker B: So fun.
• 25:25
  Speaker A: But again, like, everything was held at my house, I guess. But also what I wanted to say was I would call my mom in a situation like that. I had to do with alcohol or drugs because one time I smoked and I had, like, a bad.
• 25:36
  Speaker B: You had a panic attack.
• 25:37
  Speaker A: Oh, a bad.
• 25:39
  Speaker B: Bad batch. Really wouldn't do good with weed.
• 25:41
  Speaker A: Bad batch. It was. It was medical marijuana, so it was very strong. And Sal didn't know what to do with me, so he called my aunt first. My aunt Lisa, Nicole's mom. And she came. And then I just, like, needed my mom. Like, I didn't know what else to do. Like, I needed to go to the hospital. Like, and then I. I had my cousin Michael Collaboro around me, who helped me a lot.
• 26:00
  Speaker B: First girl who goes to the hospital.
• 26:01
  Speaker A: No weed. No. It was really bad. It's like Sal didn't know what to do with me. But anyway, I feel like they would call. Like, not my dad in that situation, but anything else, I would call. Oh, my God. So anyway, now let's talk about this day and age.
• 26:12
  Speaker B: Well, first of all, there are so many things.
• 26:14
  Speaker A: Okay, let's do, like, two more minutes and we're done.
• 26:17
  Speaker B: Our children. Like, I used to call my mom and say that I was at Manny's house and sleep at Joey's house. Or like, something like that. Like, there's location. Like, they're never able to do that.
• 26:27
  Speaker A: No, they're not. There's actually.
• 26:29
  Speaker B: I'll just look at their phone. Yeah, they're not at fucking John's house. Right.
• 26:32
  Speaker A: Or they turn off their location and they're in big fucking trouble. And I'm coming to get you.
• 26:35
  Speaker B: Right?
• 26:36
  Speaker A: I mean, my mom has come to get me one.
• 26:39
  Speaker B: We used to go to the house we said we were sleeping at, call from the house line. So they knew, like, the house line was going and then leave, because that was the only way. But I feel like kids are get. Could get around it somehow.
• 26:51
  Speaker A: I just. Like, there's so much to experience with in this day and age. Like, we didn't have any of that. Like, it was just like drinking, you know what I mean? Like we didn't do the crazy things. I mean we were like. I mean there's been times where me and my friend have gotten caught like at a park with a boy. Like. Yeah, but like my friends moms were cool. Like my mom was cool in that sense. Like she would come get us. Like she wouldn't care. Yeah, like I was always with the same people and they were good people. So like my parents didn't care. Yeah, like I'm gonna fucking kick my son's ass if he's around the wrong crew.
• 27:21
  Speaker B: No, the environment, I'll say it so important. Like, so, boy, I don't know if I'll let my kids have sleepovers, but if I do.
• 27:27
  Speaker A: Yeah, let's go to that.
• 27:28
  Speaker B: Do a full on fucking background check of that house. I need to know.
• 27:32
  Speaker A: No, not even that. If I'm not, if I'm not close with them. Yeah, you're not sleeping, right.
• 27:37
  Speaker B: Like I need to.
• 27:37
  Speaker A: I don't know them. And you're not close with them. You are not sleeping. AKA you can sleep there. My mother in laws can sleep there. My brother and sister. I can sleep there. My sister. No, that's it. Because if I don't know them, you're not sleeping there. A new friend now, you don't know.
• 27:51
  Speaker B: Uncle Tony could be there and he
• 27:52
  Speaker A: could be Uncle Tony, the children. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't trust nobody. So at the end of the day,
• 27:59
  Speaker B: I think, and I also think it is very important, the most important to have the conversations with your children about body, self awareness. Like, because that in the time of sleepover, what do you say?
• 28:12
  Speaker A: Like if you feel someone touching you, you run like, no, but you.
• 28:18
  Speaker B: I mean they have so many books now. They're really good books.
• 28:21
  Speaker A: What do you say to your kids, your first sleepover?
• 28:24
  Speaker B: I mean, I talk about it right now with my kids. If anyone ever touches your privates or touches you and it feels funny or weird, you tell mommy, you tell a
• 28:31
  Speaker A: teacher, I'm gonna throw up.
• 28:32
  Speaker B: Like you have to do those things.
• 28:34
  Speaker A: Do you do it now?
• 28:34
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 28:35
  Speaker A: You do? Oh my God. Should I be doing it too? Yes, I kind of do. I mean, I kind of want to change him. Jokingly, I kind of do.
• 28:42
  Speaker B: What I'm sibling. So it's like, like Vienna one time was like in the bath and like wanted to like ding a ling Joey's penis. I'm like, this is like a. This is his private part. This is your private Part we never touch each other's private parts, and that's that. And like, you can touch her. You. You could tell. Touch your own privates. But if anybody else touches you, you tell.
• 29:01
  Speaker A: Yeah. I feel like as I'm like, I do it without thinking about it. I'm just like, mommy's the only one that's allowed to change you like this. I'm doing this because what Mommy does to change you and wipe you and wipe your coolie. Like.
• 29:11
  Speaker B: Yeah. I just think it's very important to have those conversations with your kids because then also I find myself doing this a lot. And I think I will do it too. When they're a little bit older, I tell them stories about, like, me. Like, I'd be like, for example, this is an example. But I'd be like, one time, Mommy was at a sleepover and there was like an older brother there and he, like, asked to see my underwear. And I felt really uncomfortable. So I called Nana right away. And, like, Nana came and picked me up. Like, stuff like that they know and like, they get it like that. Like that.
• 29:40
  Speaker A: Like, that's a good idea.
• 29:42
  Speaker B: So, like, I feel like I do stories like that. Yeah. And that, like, in their little brains, that's like, okay, like, Mommy just told me the story like that. So it seems comfortable to follow through and, like, talk about it.
• 29:54
  Speaker A: There's a different way to say it to your son and versus your daughter. I feel like there's like, different.
• 29:58
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 29:58
  Speaker A: But I feel like I'm starting to, you know, I mean, he's going to school in September, so I want to make sure he's prepared for all those things.
• 30:06
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 30:06
  Speaker A: But at the end of the day, I think I'm gonna push sleepovers with parents till further notice. So I'm coming with. Packing my bag.
• 30:14
  Speaker B: That's what I like.
• 30:14
  Speaker A: Sleepover with my bag. I'm packing my bag. I will do that. But I feel like I'm not going to be a sleepover parent. If they are fresh new families.
• 30:26
  Speaker B: Yeah. I think they're sleep at my house.
• 30:29
  Speaker A: I will be the house come to me.
• 30:31
  Speaker B: Like, I'm just so. Oh, God. The house I have. They're all gonna be freshmen, sophomore, juniors. Like, it's gonna be like Vienna's gonna try to sneak into Joey's room if he has sleepovers with boys. Like, it's gonna be insane. Oh, yeah.
• 30:43
  Speaker A: I have to with all my brothers friends.
• 30:44
  Speaker B: Right. So.
• 30:45
  Speaker A: But also at the same time, my family was very like. So like, a lot of the men, boys back then didn't Couldn't.
• 30:52
  Speaker B: Yeah. They're like.
• 30:52
  Speaker A: They can't come after Dominique. God forbid. Her cousins will have a stroke, her brother will have her stroke. So anyway, sleepovers. Don't trust nobody, Don't. And don't let your kids sleep out, because there's fucking Uncle Tony's in the next room.
• 31:06
  Speaker B: There are?
• 31:07
  Speaker A: All right, well, that's it for this segment. You got anything else for me?
• 31:11
  Speaker B: No, but I'm scared of this world.
• 31:13
  Speaker A: I know, Me too. But it's okay. We have each other. Okay, Love you.
• 31:16
  Speaker B: Bye. Love you. Bye.