Latest / The Uplifters / EPISODE #59 Kate Tellers from The Moth is bringing humans together through their stories

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EPISODE #59 Kate Tellers from The Moth is bringing humans together through their stories · The Uplifters

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_03: An uplifter is a compelling leader who tries to breathe life and hope into people around them.
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  SPEAKER_03: Who listen and care and guide and help.
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  SPEAKER_03: Whose way of being in the world inspires.
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  SPEAKER_03: Who uplifts with humor and understanding.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_03: Who leads by example.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Don't judge.
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  SPEAKER_00: Vulnerable.
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  SPEAKER_02: Bold.
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  SPEAKER_02: Determination.
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  SPEAKER_01: Who are here to create a better world.
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  SPEAKER_01: Who can learn and teach.
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  SPEAKER_01: Who encourages you.
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  SPEAKER_01: Who shines their light to lead other people.
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  SPEAKER_01: Who uses their best self in order to help others.
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  SPEAKER_01: I found the life that I liked and I worked toward that.
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  SPEAKER_03: We are all uplifters.
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  SPEAKER_00: Big love.
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  SPEAKER_00: We do.
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  SPEAKER_00: This is Suzy Jaramillo and I nominate Kate Tellers.
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  SPEAKER_00: She's the host and director of Mothworks and she coaches people to tell true
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  SPEAKER_00: stories from a stage and really bring out their essence and their wonderful truth
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  SPEAKER_00: in a way that moves and brings us together.
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  SPEAKER_00: Real storytelling from real people in this day and age is just so, so, so important.
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  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the Uplifters podcast.
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  SPEAKER_03: I'm Aranza Savas and today I am joined by Kate Tellers from The Moth.
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  SPEAKER_03: Every time I say The Moth to someone,
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  SPEAKER_03: there's this amazing response where people just get sort of giddy and exclamatory
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  SPEAKER_03: in their response.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I don't know if this happens to you all the time,
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  SPEAKER_03: Kate,
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  SPEAKER_03: but for people who know The Moth,
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  SPEAKER_03: there is this deep fandom that
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  SPEAKER_03: And this,
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  SPEAKER_03: I think,
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  SPEAKER_03: magical sense of connection and humanity that people found in the moth that they'd
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  SPEAKER_03: never seen anywhere else.
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  SPEAKER_03: And so they feel like they are in relationship with you and your work.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I feel that way, certainly.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I'm just so honored and excited to be here with you today.
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  SPEAKER_03: Well, thank you very much for having me.
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  SPEAKER_03: Yeah,
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  SPEAKER_03: I feel like if you know,
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  SPEAKER_03: you know,
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  SPEAKER_03: and those people go absolutely bananas when they hear about and I try to not
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  SPEAKER_03: introduce Moth when I'm introducing myself because I feel like that I'm not a
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  SPEAKER_03: person like I'm.
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  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
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  SPEAKER_03: Like I'm an association with an organization, which is lovely.
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  SPEAKER_03: I love the association and I love the organization,
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  SPEAKER_03: but I also sometimes just want to have a human conversation.
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  SPEAKER_03: And then people like flip out or they're like, oh, storytelling for children, like fables.
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  SPEAKER_03: Is that what it is?
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  SPEAKER_03: You know, and then you have to like slowly indoctrinate them.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: How do you describe what the moth is?
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: It's really dependent on the context because we're so many things,
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  SPEAKER_03: but the simplest way,
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  SPEAKER_03: this is like my,
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  SPEAKER_03: you'll hear how canned I am sometimes when I say it.
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  SPEAKER_03: We're a not-for-profit organization dedicated to the craft of first-person storytelling.
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  SPEAKER_03: We help people tell true stories on stage, live, without notes.
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  SPEAKER_03: Those stories are recorded and sometimes appear on our podcast or radio program.
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  SPEAKER_03: We also have training programs and have released four books, five books now, but yeah.
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  SPEAKER_03: How long have you been a part of,
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_03: The Moth and its mission.
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  SPEAKER_03: I have been on staff for 15 years and I started like many of us as a volunteer.
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  SPEAKER_03: I was the one, the person on the other side, like banging on the door being like, I will do anything.
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  SPEAKER_03: So I was a volunteer and then I was the first podcast intern.
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  SPEAKER_03: I edited the first episodes of the podcast in GarageBand.
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  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
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  SPEAKER_03: You are so in the fabric and the DNA of this organization and vice versa now.
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  SPEAKER_03: I am.
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  SPEAKER_03: Yeah,
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  SPEAKER_03: I mean,
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  SPEAKER_03: there's such a shift when we went from live events to recording them just because
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  SPEAKER_03: of who we had access to.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I was able to be at the organization for the pre and the post.
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  SPEAKER_03: And there was such a surge in like 2008, 2009.
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  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there always is.
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  SPEAKER_03: We're constantly, thank goodness, knock on all the wood.
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  SPEAKER_03: We've been developing new things.
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  SPEAKER_03: But in that time when we were like five full-time people in a filthy office doing,
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  SPEAKER_03: everybody did every job,
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  SPEAKER_03: you know,
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  SPEAKER_03: like the stuff that,
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  SPEAKER_03: Like I always say,
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  SPEAKER_03: I printed people's,
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  SPEAKER_03: the freelancers 1099s because we lived like we had freelancers and interns and part-timers,
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  SPEAKER_03: you know,
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  SPEAKER_03: but then there was just us in this like dust box.
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  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I was like printing 1099s.
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  SPEAKER_03: Like I should not have been doing that.
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  SPEAKER_03: But thankfully, you know, A went to B went to C and it worked.
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  SPEAKER_03: So what a story there.
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  SPEAKER_03: And as I was thinking about you today, I was like, man, she was born for this job.
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  SPEAKER_03: Are you saying that because of my name?
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
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  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
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  SPEAKER_03: I was never a fan of my,
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  SPEAKER_03: well,
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  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if you have,
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  SPEAKER_03: you did not have this because you have a very different name than I do.
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  SPEAKER_03: But I always hated how easy my name was to pronounce because when teachers would do
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  SPEAKER_03: like a roster,
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  SPEAKER_03: they would go really quick.
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  SPEAKER_03: They'd be like, Kate Teller's here.
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  SPEAKER_03: Whereas with other people, they'd be like, Aran.
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  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, I'm making up your story, but you know what I mean?
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  SPEAKER_03: That's my story.
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  SPEAKER_03: I wanted the teacher to like spend time and try to figure me out,
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  SPEAKER_03: but I was just like boring Kate Tellers.
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  SPEAKER_03: Anyway, but yes, I did not like the name that much as a kid.
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  SPEAKER_03: I also like didn't like the association with like fables.
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  SPEAKER_03: I've never been that type of a person, although I guess I loved fairy tales.
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  SPEAKER_03: In what other ways do you feel like this was the place for you?
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  SPEAKER_03: I mean, 15 years is a long time to stay anywhere, right?
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  SPEAKER_03: 15 years is a long time to stay anywhere.
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  SPEAKER_03: Well,
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  SPEAKER_03: here's,
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  SPEAKER_03: I'm going to say that I am,
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  SPEAKER_03: this is not a unique thing that I'm going to say,
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  SPEAKER_03: because I think many of us have experienced this in some way,
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  SPEAKER_03: but in many ways,
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  SPEAKER_03: the moth did maybe not save,
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  SPEAKER_03: but definitely dramatically alter the course of my life because of one,
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  SPEAKER_03: because I really believe in the work and because,
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  SPEAKER_03: you know,
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  SPEAKER_03: the work by definition is constantly changing because we're constantly finding new stories.
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  SPEAKER_03: So I came to the moth.
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  SPEAKER_03: I was an actor.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I started doing like comedy and theater.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I did a solo show.
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  SPEAKER_03: I do cabarets.
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  SPEAKER_03: I do stand up.
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  SPEAKER_03: I do stuff like that.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I liked that.
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  SPEAKER_03: That was fun, but that was largely self-produced.
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  SPEAKER_03: So it's like day job, day job, pour your heart out on stage.
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  SPEAKER_03: Or I would get cast in these like ridiculous shows that I would take because I was
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  SPEAKER_03: an actor,
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  SPEAKER_03: but like my heart was not in them.
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  SPEAKER_03: And at the same time, my mother was dying.
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  SPEAKER_03: So I would call my mom.
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  SPEAKER_03: I remember calling her once and being like,
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  SPEAKER_03: mom,
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  SPEAKER_03: I'm dressing up as a reindeer in the basement of a restaurant in Chinatown talking
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  SPEAKER_03: about like Santa's sexual preferences.
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  SPEAKER_03: Like I don't.
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  SPEAKER_03: And she was like, this is your art.
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  SPEAKER_03: You have to do it.
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  SPEAKER_03: Like stay in New York and do your art.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I did.
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  SPEAKER_03: Go baby, go.
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  SPEAKER_03: I stayed and I did my art.
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  SPEAKER_03: But anyway, so there was the combination of those.
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  SPEAKER_03: So it was like day job to support sometimes the work that I didn't love.
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  SPEAKER_03: And then my mother died.
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  SPEAKER_03: And the night that she died, we all sat.
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  SPEAKER_03: In her living room, she died at home and just told stories about her.
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  SPEAKER_03: And it was just so clear that like, that was what I had.
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  SPEAKER_03: She'd done amazing things and been a mother,
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  SPEAKER_03: been a professional,
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  SPEAKER_03: been a world traveler,
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  SPEAKER_03: could be described in many ways.
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  SPEAKER_03: But what we had were those stories.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I just started some sort of a...
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_03: quest to figure out how I could live my life and not be sort of tithing away one
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  SPEAKER_03: part of it to support something else that wasn't satisfying.
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  SPEAKER_03: But also I really doubled down on my love of stories and then happened to hear The
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  SPEAKER_03: Moth on an episode of This American Life and went to a live show and was like,
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  SPEAKER_03: oh,
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  SPEAKER_03: it's this.
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  SPEAKER_03: This is what I want with an audience and a person on stage.
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  SPEAKER_03: That's not like the reindeer in the tutu or even like the standup,
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  SPEAKER_03: which was like throw a joke,
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  SPEAKER_03: get a laugh.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_03: Throw a joke, get a laugh.
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  SPEAKER_03: I was like, oh, this, this is the real thing.
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  SPEAKER_03: And then I wrote a terrible cover letter and somehow got in the door.
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  SPEAKER_03: Couldn't have been that bad.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_03: I mean,
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  SPEAKER_03: we found it a couple of years ago and I was like,
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  SPEAKER_03: why did I talk about how I'm handy with a stapler?
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  SPEAKER_03: Like it's the 21st century.
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  SPEAKER_03: It worked.
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  SPEAKER_03: You just never know.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a big fan of write the letter.
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  SPEAKER_03: The only reason I have the apartment I have is because I wrote the letter and I said,
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  SPEAKER_03: please let me raise my child in this apartment,
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  SPEAKER_03: even though I can't afford it.
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  SPEAKER_03: And they said, okay, you can have it.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_03: And the rest is history.
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  SPEAKER_03: Second best decision I ever made other than,
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  SPEAKER_03: you know,
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  SPEAKER_03: marrying my husband,
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  SPEAKER_03: who's a really good guy and trusted me to write these weird.
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  SPEAKER_03: That's like such a, that's like the New York story.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_03: You're going to get 4,000 emails.
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  SPEAKER_03: Like nothing we say on this podcast matters because now people know that you have
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_03: New York real estate,
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_03: like magic powers.
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  SPEAKER_03: Story.
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  SPEAKER_03: I think story has the power to do everything.
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  SPEAKER_03: That's really the answer.
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  SPEAKER_03: You have the power, Kate.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
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  SPEAKER_03: And we have, we'll have to swap stories at some time.
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  SPEAKER_03: I mean,
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_03: this episode is about you,
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  SPEAKER_03: but I will say I can't help but relate because I moved here right after grad school
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  SPEAKER_03: with a master's in acting to be an actor.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, this is going to be great.
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  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I don't really like acting all that much, but...
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  SPEAKER_03: I really like humans and words.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I can't figure out any other way that an adult would do that.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I did all these really horrible gigs that I look back on and I just shake my head.
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  SPEAKER_03: My most famous one was I was pregnant and washing dishes on a talk show.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I was in some sort of like crazy relationship on the show.
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  SPEAKER_03: And my big line was,
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  SPEAKER_03: what about the baby?
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  SPEAKER_03: That was about the pinnacle of my theatrical success, but not dissimilar to you.
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  SPEAKER_03: I got involved with a program that I was really inspired by and ended up staying
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  SPEAKER_03: there for 18 years and having a beautiful,
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_03: surprising career that took me on a very different journey professionally and
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_03: personally than I ever expected.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_03: As I was getting ready to talk to you, I was curious because we're talking about your story today.
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  SPEAKER_03: Do you get nervous telling your story because you're like the guru of story?
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_03: No,
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  SPEAKER_03: I think,
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_03: I mean,
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_03: one,
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  SPEAKER_03: I'm just like so in this world and I've done it enough and been a part of it enough
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  SPEAKER_03: that I've sort of seen everyone fail and everyone succeed.
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  SPEAKER_03: Not everyone, everyone, but you know what I mean?
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  SPEAKER_03: Like you see the greats flop and you see people that for one night are the Meryl
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_03: Streep of all Meryl Streeps.
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  SPEAKER_03: And I think I'm not true to myself if I'm not to some degree vulnerable.
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  SPEAKER_03: And so maybe I won't tell the most well-structured story.
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  SPEAKER_03: Stories aren't only about structure, but you know what I mean.
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  SPEAKER_03: But then secondarily,
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  SPEAKER_03: I just feel like I also feel confident enough in my skills to speak about
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_03: storytelling or to observe life and communicate it as a story that I feel like I
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_03: don't think I'm going to burn it down.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
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  SPEAKER_03: I feel like for me,
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_03: the most essential skill that I can rely on and trust is just being present and listening.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_03: Is there something similar for storytelling that you feel like if you're just in
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_03: that mode,
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_03: okay,
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  SPEAKER_03: things will happen?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure.
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  SPEAKER_03: I sit in a lot of storytelling seats.
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  SPEAKER_03: So it depends on what my role is in that time.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_03: But as a storyteller, 100%, it's being present.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's noticing if something comes out of your mouth weird or the audience is
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_03: different or,
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  SPEAKER_03: or a detail strikes you or you have a surge of emotion,
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_03: like the more present you can be with that,
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_03: the better.
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  SPEAKER_03: And that's also when it's fun.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_03: And then as a listener,
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_03: like a story director or someone leading a workshop,
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_03: I have to,
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_03: it's great because I'm like,
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_03: check everything.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, I hear you will hear stories through the lens of our own experience.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_03: But like,
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_03: check whatever I want to respond with,
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_03: unless it's about myself,
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_03: unless it's really relevant,
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_03: which sometimes it is.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, it's just like, go on this ride.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: Mm hmm.
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  SPEAKER_03: Listen to this story, go on the ride, be curious about it.
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  SPEAKER_03: What's unclear,
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_03: what,
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_03: you know,
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_03: and of course with my brain,
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  SPEAKER_03: I'm always like,
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: well,
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: I would have started here,
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: but I'm going to put the scene,
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: you know,
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: but like still being present and then meeting people wherever they are.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_03: There's, you know, if they're telling a story from their own lives, they already have succeeded.
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  SPEAKER_03: And now like,
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_03: how do we,
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_03: you know,
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_03: explore that story,
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_03: make it more truthful,
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_03: make it more compelling,
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_03: make it more whatever we want to make it.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_03: I know you do a ton of story coaching and helping people find the story to tell or
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_03: shape the story they want to tell.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_03: What question do you ask people to get them started on looking for a story or sort of deciding?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_03: sight, right?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_03: Our lives are full of story.
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  SPEAKER_03: So how do you help them decide where to begin?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I don't have one question.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_03: But I think the thing is,
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_03: and this is like so much of storytelling is to me,
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_03: storytelling is like my faith.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm like, it applies to all aspects of life.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, you can't just ask someone like, tell me a compelling story.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's like that thing, like more when I was in comedy, people be like, you're a comedian, make me laugh.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_03: And I'd be like,
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_03: No, but also like it's context, whatever.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to be precious about that or trot that road.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_03: So it's really about just like asking any number of prompts.
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  SPEAKER_03: But one of the things that I always think about is great stories are born of
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_03: moments that have changed you.
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  SPEAKER_03: So think about a, like a pivotal moment in your life or, and to even start smaller, like,
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  SPEAKER_03: What's the story that you tell at parties?
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  SPEAKER_03: Or if your life were a movie, what's one scene that you would have to have in it?
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_03: We just need to start somewhere.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_03: And then you ask the questions around it and start building it out.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_03: But all I need is like some information about you.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_03: And we'll keep going.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_03: of the onion, I guess.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: Totally.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_03: And it's, or it's just like the one stake in the ground.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_03: It's not even a stake in the ground.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_03: It's a tenuous stake.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_03: We don't know if we're going to keep it.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_03: But like,
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_03: if you,
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_03: like what you just told me that you went to grad school and then,
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_03: you know,
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_03: you were doing these terrible plays,
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_03: I might say like,
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_03: well,
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_03: when was a moment where you,
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_03: and you've kind of told us the low,
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_03: but like,
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_03: what was the high that you were seeking?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_03: What did you want?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: Hmm.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_03: And then that would be a way to get into stakes of the story, which is important.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_03: You have to care about your story.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_03: deeper into why it was so terrible.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_03: Cause it's not just, and I hate to speak negatively.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_03: I always use the reindeer show as an example.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_03: And it was actually a show that my friend put up.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_03: It was just the timing of it.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_03: And like the stepping outside of myself and being like,
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_03: why I was dancer,
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: like,
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: why am I in a tutu in this place?
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_03: You know,
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_03: this like tiny venue that no one's going to talking about Santa and sex,
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_03: which I was not connected to.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_03: And still I'm not connected to, I'll stand by that.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, while my mother was dying.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_03: And in that, I hear a story of meaning and purpose.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_03: And that seemed devoid of meaning and purpose for you in that moment.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_03: For me in that moment.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_03: I hope it was transformative for your friend.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_03: But for you in that moment, you sought greater meaning.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_03: Do you still remember the first story you told at the mall?
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_03: So when I started at The Moth, I'd been doing a lot of things on stage.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_03: But when I started at The Moth, I was not on stage.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_03: And then this was where the fear comes in.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_03: Once you become Kate at The Moth, then there is an expectation when you take the stage.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_03: So I remember doing a couple of slams or open mics, like I would throw my name in.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, and I do remember I had been a host of shows and I kept saying, I really want to host her shows.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: And everyone was kind of like, but you're a colleague.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_03: There was a little bit of trepidation of like, what if we put Kate from The Moth Up There as host?
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_03: So one night I was there as like a producer maybe,
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_03: and one of the hosts' train got stuck and we had to start.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I started the show and it was so weird because now I've done that,
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know,
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_03: hundreds of times,
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_03: so many times.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_03: But I remember being like...
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_03: all right, you're called.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: And I did it.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, I can do that.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_03: You know,
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_03: even though I knew that I could,
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_03: but the first time I hosted,
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_03: I actually then was brought in to host a slam.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_03: It was amazing.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_03: It was so great.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, I've got this.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_03: And this is,
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_03: I rarely talk about myself and say like,
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_03: I did so well,
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_03: but like,
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_03: it just was like,
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_03: I freaking love this organization.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_03: And I have the training as it were to be on, like I studied improv and comedy.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_03: I know what I'm talking about.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_03: I know the values of the organization.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: Like I know how to communicate them.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_03: And it was just a freaking blast.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_03: And I remember at the end,
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_03: our audio engineer who I'd known for years said,
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't realize we had a silver bullet,
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_03: I think is what he said.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_03: It was like this whole side of me that I'd kind of been like,
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_03: put me in coach,
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: come on,
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_03: put me in,
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_03: but like hadn't been letting out.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_03: And now it's like such a great joy.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_03: And a lot of it is because I watched for my job 5,000 shows and I got to see these
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_03: other great hosts that are still doing it to this day,
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: do it and then bring my own self to it.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: You have good days and bad days, but that's...
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_03: part of it though, right?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_03: But that's part of it.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: The more you do... Ophira Eisenberg is an amazing moth host and comedian and amazing human being.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: I remember telling a story,
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_03: maybe at a slammer at a different storytelling show and just really feeling like I bombed.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_03: And she said...
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_03: what is both profound and obvious is she was like, the more you do it, the less you bomb statistically.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_03: Do you know what I mean?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: It's not just,
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_03: of course you get better,
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: but it's also like the more you do those things,
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_03: then that one terrible bomb is a smaller and smaller like pebble,
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_03: you know,
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_03: in the big pool.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_03: And I always think about that.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_03: And that keeps me confident that even in a slant,
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_03: when you're doing like a bunch of little interstitials,
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_03: even if that one didn't really work,
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_03: that's one little one.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_03: And then you do another one and then the roof lifts and you feel great.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_03: And then, you know, you just keep doing it and doing it and keeping your odds good.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_03: I was talking to somebody on the show recently, and she's a coach who works with people who have ADHD.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_03: And she said that her number one principle with her clients is to train them to
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_03: believe that finishing the action is the goal.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, interesting.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_03: And it's not about what are the outcomes of that, what happens as a result of that.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_03: But if we can get our focus on the doing and the completion of the step,
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: then we allow ourselves to learn,
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_03: to grow,
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_03: to expand,
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_03: to fail,
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: to get stronger based on those stumbles.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_03: But without that, we're just sitting around thinking and wishing and dreaming and hoping and...
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_03: getting resentful about all the things that aren't happening to us.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's true.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_03: Very true.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_03: You talked about how you introduce yourself and you say, I am Mothwoman Kate.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_03: Somehow that sounds weirder than I meant it to.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm also someone else.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not just a brand.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_03: How do you introduce Kate, the person beyond the brand?
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it's highly contextual.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_03: I'm here in Bushwick, Brooklyn, a lot of my fans here in the hipster neighborhood of Bushwick, Brooklyn.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_03: But a lot of the stuff that I do in my neighborhood is like I'm out with my young kids.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_03: So when I meet people, I travel a lot.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_03: So a lot of the time it just happenstance will come up to be like, oh, I was just in San Francisco.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_03: I was just in San Francisco.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_03: What did you do there?
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I was leading a workshop.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_03: What kind of workshop?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, a storytelling workshop.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_03: I work for a storytelling nonprofit.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: And if they're interested in storytelling,
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm happy to keep going,
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_03: but I'm not going to throw like the name out.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_03: It feels like you're like fishing for something.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_03: Like I work with the moth.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_03: Are you familiar?
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I just want to be someone that's like, okay, so I traveled to San Francisco.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_03: What do you like about San Francisco?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_03: Or what is your life like?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_03: Are
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_03: aren't our children funny?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_03: And this is a funny thing here.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_03: Like,
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_03: I just want like the organic conversation to happen instead of some sort of what
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_03: either feels like I'm name droppy or feels like,
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_03: here's what it is.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_03: When it starts to not feel genuine,
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: like the interaction,
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_03: it's either me dropping a name or someone being like,
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_03: oh my gosh,
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_03: I'm obsessed.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_03: I want something from you.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_03: I want stage time.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: I want your feedback.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_03: I want like the association.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_03: And again, like I'm not hot shit.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_03: That's the entire point of this.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like I just want to be a human being.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to start like playing around with some perception of that.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, around here, it's one thing.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_03: In corporate spaces, it's different.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: Some people are obsessed.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_03: Some people don't know us at all.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_03: I get to be the person that introduces this totally new thing to them.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_03: With my family, they are obsessed.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_03: My family reunion, we had like a book signing.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, good.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_03: That's as it should be.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, my family is very proud.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_03: And my mother's family in particular is very achievement focused.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_03: And they're very proud of achievements like co-authoring a book or what have you.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_03: What do you feel like at this point you've listened to, I don't know, thousands, millions of stories?
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of stories.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_03: A lot, yeah.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_03: What's something that stood out to you from hearing all these stories?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_03: I think a very unique thing about what we get to do,
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_03: so whether I'm leading a workshop and having someone stand up and share their story
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_03: or whether we're getting them ready for stage and having a rehearsal the night before,
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_03: is I get to be in those moments where people are scared out of their minds and in a really,
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_03: really real way.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_03: And this is Nobel Prize winners.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_03: These are celebrities.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_03: We have such a diverse range of people
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_03: that come into a room.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_03: And particularly the joke is,
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_03: if you're telling your story in New York City with The Moth,
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_03: you come to our office and then it's like,
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_03: all of our production team wants to be in rehearsal.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_03: You know,
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_03: it's like,
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_03: so it's like,
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_03: oh,
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_03: it's the entire staff of the organization that's known for storytelling.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_03: Be compelling in a room, not even on the theater stage, like with no theatrical elements helping you.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_03: And there's something really gorgeous about seeing people at that vulnerable and then pushing through.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_03: And then seeing the way that
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_03: the people in the room, no matter who they are, are automatically on their side.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_03: Watching a person who oftentimes was a stranger to me 20 minutes before face a huge fear.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_03: People say people's number one fear is public speaking and like second fear is death.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_03: And so people would rather be in the coffin than giving the eulogy as like the joke.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_03: So like I'm watching many people, even if, and like everyone's like, but what about actors?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_03: Actors are terrified of being themselves.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_03: That's the whole freaking point, you know?
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_03: Writers are terrified of having their script taken away from them.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_03: They can be amazing storytellers, of course, but it doesn't mean that they are.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_03: There's no thing that makes them great,
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_03: except for if they lean into the terrifying place,
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: which is the vulnerability and the honesty.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I get to watch that and it's a great equalizer.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_03: It makes me,
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_03: for all of how I can be socially awkward or shy,
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_03: it just makes me realize that everybody has an in.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_03: There's a way, everybody has a...
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_03: a way to connect with them and a desire to be connected with.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_03: And then I get to kind of watch that happen.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_03: Tell me about that in.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_03: How do you cultivate a space where people feel safe enough to be vulnerable?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_03: I think every one of us that does this type of stuff has their own toolkit.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_03: I think like the simplest thing is you just have to listen.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_03: I think we all just want to be heard and we want to be asked about ourselves and
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_03: then have what we say be valuable.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_03: And I think, you know, when we, I want to stop saying I think because I just want to stand by what I say.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for saying,
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_03: I think about that so much while I'm editing episodes because I talk to women all day.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_03: We all do it, Kate.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_03: We all like couch our,
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_03: you've heard more people tell stories than like just about any other person on the planet.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_03: You are a trusted expert.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_03: We can talk about that.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_03: But yes.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_03: No, no, no.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_03: For sure.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_03: For sure.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_03: Part of it is that I have the experience and I have the organization and I have the
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_03: whatever and the set of expectations.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_03: But part of it is just we have to,
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_03: I think people want to find someone that they would trust to hear that and are
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_03: looking for that.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel incredibly lucky that I get to do that.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_03: And it's probably why I've been in my job for 15 years because there's always more people.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_03: There's always more stories.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_03: And it sounds like really a lot of it is really just the invitation to share a story.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_03: And an audience of people who want to listen.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_03: As you talked about the community in your office rooting for someone, I wonder if that is...
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_03: based in that sort of universal fear of being seen and judged.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_03: And so when we see somebody step out there,
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_03: we all kind of want to cheer for them because on a deep emotional level,
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_03: we all know what it's like to fear being judged.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that vulnerability is so gorgeous.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_03: And as humans, it's not just my colleagues.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_03: Like as human beings, we are so drawn to that.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_03: And we're so connected.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's where the connection is.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's not the polish.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_03: It's not cutting out your ums or I things or whatever.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_03: It's just saying like, I'm freaking terrified or I'm really, stories are emotional.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_03: People get emotional.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_03: We get emotional.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_03: I remember one time,
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_03: the first main stage,
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_03: like full length story I told at The Moth was about the passing of my mother.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_03: It's an emotional story.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_03: And when I did it in rehearsal, I had never considered this.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_03: But in rehearsal, we were on the road, so it wasn't that many people.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_03: It was maybe eight people in the room,
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_03: including my colleagues,
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_03: one of whom I'd worked on the story with,
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: who I was close with,
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_03: and other people who I'd become fond of.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_03: And then I told the story, but I could see everyone.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_03: And everyone started crying.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, oh, I feel terrible.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so sorry.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_03: Because you could see the response.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_03: It's the most terrifying thing to like actively be making someone cry, but then have to keep going.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_03: And then we were all fine at the end and it was lovely.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_03: But people are doing that.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_03: People are like bringing this vulnerable thing and then watching human beings like
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_03: in a room just cry at them.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_03: And not that we cry in every story, of course, but it certainly happens.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_03: I love to laugh and cry with strangers.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_03: That's why I love it.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_03: Me too.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_03: I've really, it's my favorite.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_03: We had a road trip this weekend as a family and we were going to a funeral.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_03: So it was already a sad occasion, but we started a tally to see how many times somebody cried in the car.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_03: I won.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_03: We listened to Tracy Chapman.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_03: I cried.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_03: My husband disciplined my daughter.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_03: She cried.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_03: We were just talking about like, there's so many
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_03: reasons.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_03: We as humans cry.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_03: But there's something so intimate just about being real with people.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_03: I will admit that I was nervous about talking to you because I was like,
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_03: I guess,
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_03: I mean,
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_03: this is a show about stories and I'm talking to the story woman and she like
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_03: actually knows how to graph stories.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_03: And I haven't thought about the Freitag diagram since college.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_03: But it is,
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: I think,
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: to your point,
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_03: if we can just get out of our own heads and start thinking about doing things well
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_03: or right and just be present where we are,
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_03: really beautiful stuff happens.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_03: How do you keep yourself brave, Kate?
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if that is my strength.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I shouldn't say that.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_03: I think, I mean, I truly honestly don't believe that that is my biggest strength.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_03: I constantly like one of the thoughts racing through my brain in the middle of the
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_03: night if I can't sleep is like,
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_03: when was the last time I did something that scared me?
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_03: What scares me?
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_03: What can I do that scares me?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_03: I think there is a degree of...
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_03: Because so much of my life is spent doing kind of intense things that have to be
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_03: somewhat unplanned,
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_03: I am walking on that line.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_03: So for example, I will go into a workshop that people have invested in where they want an outcome.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_03: But by nature of what we do...
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_03: I cannot plan every piece.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_03: I have to create a space where that can happen.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_03: And then I know that things will happen and I have to be confident that they happen
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_03: in a way that feels,
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_03: quote,
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_03: productive,
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: depending on the context that I'm in,
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_03: but also honest.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_03: Or I have to do a show and I know kind of what the map of the show is.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_03: I know what's going to happen sometimes.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes I don't at all, depending on what type of a show it is.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_03: And I just have to...
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_03: go and be comfortable with walking that line of like being prepared,
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_03: but also being prepared to be unprepared.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if that's brave, but it keeps me fresh.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_03: To me, it feels alive, those moments.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_03: Those moments are really scary to me.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_03: I put a lot of pressure on myself for exactly what you just described.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_03: Productive, but real.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_03: And immediate.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_03: And it's my highest level of accountability in life at
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_03: But it's also what makes me feel alive and gives me a ton of meaning.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_03: And yeah.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I negotiate a lot speaking of productive.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_03: And I just told you about,
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if like,
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like,
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_03: is it because my mother's family is like a Middle Eastern immigrant family that
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_03: like really worked?
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_03: Like my grandfather didn't speak English when he moved to the US and,
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_03: you know,
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_03: became a businessman that was able to buy his wife's family a home.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_03: Is it that or is it what?
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_03: And then my dad's family is a whole other thing.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm constantly trying to silence the achievement monster.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_03: I think I'm
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_03: bastardizing the words of Jen Romolini.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, so I think I work well in like corporate settings because I will ultimately be productive.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's a lot of the work that I do.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm constantly like, it doesn't have to be productive, Kate.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_03: Just be in the moment.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_03: Just be present.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_03: There's no goal.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_03: Let it be.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_03: And that's definitely something that I try to be mindful of so that it's not all outcome,
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_03: even though there's so much pressure to have outcomes.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_03: To me, what it really sounds like is, is it a good use of people's time?
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_03: And that's a big responsibility.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like time is so precious.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_03: That every time I have somebody's time, I'm like, I can't waste it.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, 100%.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_03: I never want... No, I do not want to waste someone's time.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_03: Even if it's a nothing time, I want it to feel, I don't know, real or present or something.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sure there's a whole psychology we could unpack on that one.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_03: As you do your work, so much of it is holding space for other people.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_03: And you're very much a coach,
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_03: whether it's story coaching or even just caring for your storytellers and helping
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_03: them feel safe and courageous.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_03: And that takes energy.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm curious how you replenish yourself to keep showing up with that much energy
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_03: and pouring it into other people.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_03: I really love good food and stiff martinis.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_03: And no, I mean, that's obviously, I do enjoy gathering.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_03: Our home here is what my husband and I, or maybe just me, refer to as sometimes like the family home.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_03: We have guests over a lot.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: We host family a lot.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_03: And that really fills me up.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_03: That's still like we're setting out the plates and doing the thing.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_03: But just like filling the house with joy and people in having meaningful
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_03: conversations and being goofy and just like blasts of unconditional love is wonderful.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_03: And multi-generational.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_03: My kids are six and nine.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's a wonderful time to do that with their friends.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_03: I like to read.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_03: It's funny, sometimes it feels like the biggest luxury.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_03: But I think sometimes it's like, because it's someone telling me a story and they're just telling it.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_03: It's the story is done.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_03: Like I don't have to give it notes.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_03: It's not seeing if I like,
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_03: someone talks to me in the middle of a sentence and I put the book down for 20
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_03: minutes and pick it up.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I don't have to be the show that I respect the story, even though I do, I respect writers.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_03: So I love to do that.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_03: You just get to be the audience is what you're saying.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_03: I like to be that.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_03: I like to see good things.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_03: You don't have to be a co-creator or support the creation.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_03: That's so interesting.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that makes so much sense.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I like to do shows.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_03: I like to be on the other side and think about what inspires me.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_03: Art begets art.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_03: Stories beget stories.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_03: So hearing other people's experiences and connecting with different people.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes it makes me feel very creative.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes, you know, I sit down to write and I'm like, there are no words in this brain this evening.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_03: We will close the computer.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_03: Do you write a lot?
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_03: No, I try to write a lot.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_03: I have a practice.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_03: I write.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_03: I try to keep in the rhythm of it.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_03: But I also try to like there have been times where I'll dole a month without working on anything.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_03: and just be okay with working on any of my own writing and just feel like, is my cup full?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_03: Do I feel excited?
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_03: And like, I'm feeling and connected with the world and seeing and experiencing new things?
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, then my own writing is going to not be the priority for this period of time.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_03: I think what you're describing in there is, do I have a creative outlet?
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_03: Or do I feel it's not even because some of it isn't, I guess it's a creative outlet.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_03: The reason that I like stumble on that a little bit is because that feels very much about me.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_03: Do you know what I mean?
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_03: Like, am I expressing?
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes it's,
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_03: this isn't a time where I have anything that I particularly need to get out and to say,
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_03: this is a time where I want
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_03: to replenish where I want to listen where I want to just connect and take in the
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_03: world so that I can process it and maybe be creative with it sometimes it's just
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_03: like well the you know kids had a week off and we had a million adventures and at
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_03: the end of the day I just wanted to like chill you know and not communicate with
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_03: people because I've been communicating intensely with them all day
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_03: Well,
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_03: and you were creating something different,
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_03: which I guess the other thing that really strikes me about that is that it is about
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_03: our definition of creativity,
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_03: right?
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_03: 100%, yeah.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_03: And like creating memories, creating experiences, creating work that lives on is one thing.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's,
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_03: especially for people who are in creative fields,
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_03: really valuable to remember that the creative cup can be filled in many different
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_03: ways and actually filling it in new ways
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_03: has generally speaking,
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_03: great impact on filling it in ways that maybe are more associated with our creative
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_03: work or capital C creative.
• 33:20
  100%.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_03: Find that the shower idea, like find different ways to like have that shower.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_03: And that again,
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_03: has been important for me to learn because of this product,
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_03: like this achievement mindset of like,
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_03: oh,
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_03: I'm failing because I didn't write my
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_03: 600 words tonight or whatever.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_03: Not that I write 600 words every night, but am I living a good life?
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_03: Am I experiencing the world?
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_03: Am I giving back to the world?
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_03: Am I feeling fulfilled and connected?
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_03: And like, I have a perspective that needs to be communicated in some way.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_03: They're all intertwined.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I learn what I need to learn for each one from the other and often from doing none of them.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_03: There's no better creative stimuli than vacation.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_03: Kate, I'm so happy to be connected with you.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm so happy to hear a little about your story.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_03: So grateful that you're joining us in May at our Uplifters Live event.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_03: I think this is just going to be such a special moment for everyone there to...
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_03: get to receive a little coaching and insight from you on storytelling.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_03: And within this conversation about doing brave things and going out on our edge a
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_03: little bit and getting uncomfortable,
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_03: I think your reminder that that is a universal experience is so reassuring.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's definitely grounded me.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_03: It's also, there's nothing wrong with you because you feel like you don't know what you're doing.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_03: For sure.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_03: It's just actually, I think, a symptom that you're doing things.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_03: Let's keep doing things, some of them unproductive, hopefully.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for listening to the Uplifters podcast.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_03: If you're getting a boost from these episodes,
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_03: please share them with the Uplifters in your life and then join us in conversation
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_03: over at theuplifterspodcast.com.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_03: Head over to Spotify,
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_03: Apple Podcast,
• 35:43
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• 35:46
  SPEAKER_03: follow,
• 35:46
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• 35:48
  SPEAKER_03: It'll really help us connect with more uplifters and it'll ensure you never miss
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_03: one of these beautiful stories.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_02: Big love.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_02: Painted water sunshine with rosemary and thyme.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_02: Dwell in love perplexing though you find it vexing.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_02: Toss a star and hover.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_02: Be your own best lover.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: Relish in a new prime.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: Plant a tree in springtime.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_02: Dance with idle hindsight.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_02: Bring the sun to twilight.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_02: Lift you up.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_02: Whoa.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_02: oh lift you up oh lift you up oh lift you up lift you up
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's that little thing you did with your voice.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_02: Right, in the pre-chorus, right?
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_02: I was like... Mommy, stop crying.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_02: You're disturbing the peace.