Latest / The Bible Gal / Dealing with anger & bitterness

Transcript

Dealing with anger & bitterness · The Bible Gal

• 0:02
  Welcome to the Bobaccout Podcast, and I'm Miguel Amber.
• 0:06
  I'm just a Proverbs 31 woman empowering women to step into their on-the-fire for the Lord mentality.
• 0:11
  I encourage us to live out our faith, to grow, and to believe in the calling that God has for us.
• 0:16
  My vision is to help women break the chains of their past of inner struggles and fears to create new chapters that only our Father can write for us.
• 0:24
  I'm on a mission and passion to empower you and all the women out there.
• 0:28
  This is going to be your new favorite podcast for daily devotionals and Bible study chats.
• 0:34
  Hey guys, welcome back to episode 26 of the podcast.
• 0:38
  Today we are going to be talking about anger and bitterness.
• 0:43
  Um, I before we get started, I really just wanna apologize to um all of my recurring listeners.
• 0:50
  I know I haven't been active um with dropping episodes twice a week.
• 0:56
  I just um I want to be really honest, um, because that's honestly who I am and what I, you know, I'm really raw and and blunt.
• 1:05
  And so um it wouldn't be me if if I didn't tell you guys, you know, why.
• 1:11
  And um so I just want to say like I've been in a a season of being burnt out and being really tired.
• 1:20
  Um not for a pity party at all, but just to give you guys like a picture of what's been going on.
• 1:26
  Um I went back to work back in March and um I don't know, just for some reason, it's just feeling like it's getting it just life is picking up, I feel like.
• 1:38
  Um with a five-month-old baby and like going to work and somehow even though the sun is like more sun in my day, I feel like I have less time in my day.
• 1:52
  And so I've just been really burnt out, and I feel like I've been super busy and super tired, and all I ever want to do is sleep lately, and um so I really was feeling unmotivated and just like really tired all the time, and I felt like I was just kept getting caught up in the everyday things of you know, getting up and pumping and feeding the baby and getting ready for work and going to work and dropping the baby off of daycare and picking the baby up from daycare and you know, coming home and cooking and cleaning and baby duty and wife duty and just trying to remember to give myself a shower.
• 2:28
  I've just been really exhausted, and um so yeah, I d I just want to apologize.
• 2:34
  I know it's not an excuse, but I just want to say I'm really sorry for not being active um here.
• 2:39
  I've been going I've been going through it, and so um I just want to say that I decided to take a fast.
• 2:46
  I I needed to fast with the Lord.
• 2:48
  So I did a fast um and I just really needed to fast because I realized even though I was doing my devotions in the morning, it was just very like habitual.
• 2:58
  It was nothing from the heart, it was nothing you know, really spending time with God, and obviously that's why I was tired and burnt out because I wasn't really spending intimate time with the Lord, and so it was showing.
• 3:09
  And um so I had to fast and um I felt so much better after my fast.
• 3:16
  I really just needed to get time to really be intimate with him, and I really needed to be pulled away from the other things that were keeping my attention and making me hungry in the world, and really just getting hungry for the Lord and his word.
• 3:34
  Um, and that really has helped so much.
• 3:36
  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm still tired.
• 3:38
  Um, because I feel like that's just a characteristic of mom life, but I definitely am not burnt out anymore, and I definitely have felt rejuvenated and just realized that I cannot serve my family and I cannot serve others um if I am not, you know, remembering to serve the Lord and to serve myself and to make sure that me and the Lord are good first, right?
• 4:04
  Like if my relationship with the Lord is lacking, how in the world would I expect my relationship with anybody else to be good?
• 4:11
  Um so yeah, I had to get that right first before I could come back and you know, get back into recording episodes and you know, preparing messages and speaking to you guys and um so yeah, enough about me.
• 4:29
  Um I'm gonna get ahead and get into the word, but before I do, I always like to start with um prayer.
• 4:36
  So I'm gonna open us out with that.
• 4:39
  Dear Heavenly Father, um, I'm just so thankful for this opportunity to be here.
• 4:44
  Thank you so much just for refreshing my mind and for being with me.
• 4:48
  And I just ask, um, for every listener that's listening, I just ask that you open their hearts, open their minds, fill them up, fill me up with your Holy Spirit today.
• 4:57
  Just speak over me, speak through me as I give the message today, Father.
• 5:00
  Amen.
• 5:02
  All right.
• 5:03
  So, um I dealt with a anger and bitterness season a few months back.
• 5:13
  And I decided that I was going to talk about it, and I kind of like put a pin in it.
• 5:19
  Um, and then just recently I decided to come back to that and actually write this message um about anger and bitterness.
• 5:26
  I think this is something that we often don't want to talk about.
• 5:31
  Um we just deal with it where we just have it, right?
• 5:34
  So like often Christians think that we're not allowed to be angry, um, that we're like not allowed to get mad, but like that's not true.
• 5:41
  I just want to put that out there.
• 5:43
  We are human, we do have emotions, quite honestly, the same emotions that Jesus had when he was here on this earth, and he knows that.
• 5:50
  Um, because he lived on this earth too, and he felt all the emotions, but with that being said, it's what we do when we feel those emotions.
• 6:00
  It's very a fine line, and we need to be careful that what we do with our emotions and our anger and our bitterness can very easily turn into sin.
• 6:12
  So as I jump ahead right into the word here, uh, we are in Ephesians chapter four.
• 6:19
  I feel like I've been in Ephesians a lot lately with these messages.
• 6:23
  Um, Ephesians chapter four, verse twenty-five says this.
• 6:28
  Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
• 6:37
  So, because we are all members of Christ, we have to drop the falsehood, right?
• 6:41
  We have to drop the lying, we have to get rid of the white lying, not, you know, because we're trying to skate around it, being like, oh, I'm not lying.
• 6:50
  I'm just not telling the whole story.
• 6:52
  No, that's a white lie, okay?
• 6:54
  That's still a lie.
• 6:55
  Um, and that's really just trying to like be better but not be better.
• 7:00
  And so we need to really be better and just not even lie at all.
• 7:04
  Um, no white lies, no silly little lies, no just not telling the whole truth, no, none of that.
• 7:10
  Um, but you know, really just not telling any part of the story if we are tempted to lie, um, or you know, get caught in the gossiping.
• 7:19
  We don't even have to worry about the white lies, right, if we're not caught in those conversations.
• 7:25
  Um, just not, you know, having the self-control to just not indulging in those conversations.
• 7:30
  Um, but being okay, so being dishonest with somebody, right?
• 7:34
  Like often as Christians, we can be found being too nice because we don't want to be rude, right?
• 7:41
  Um That's good.
• 7:44
  However, we can't be dishonest either, right?
• 7:49
  Um, like, for example, I have a baby and so like I think about this all the time.
• 7:55
  How many times do people tell me, like, my baby's cute or are they lying?
• 7:58
  Okay, I know my baby's cute, that's beside the point.
• 8:01
  But how many times do I think to myself, like, are they just lying to me?
• 8:04
  Like, do they really think my baby is cute?
• 8:05
  Are they just saying that, like, to be nice, right?
• 8:08
  Like, if you and then I'm like, you know what?
• 8:10
  No, I would think they would really mean it because if you don't think a baby is cute, you just don't say anything at all, right?
• 8:17
  You're just like, oh, hi, Mr.
• 8:20
  Blah blah blah, right?
• 8:21
  You just like make other conversation, right?
• 8:23
  So, um, this is you know, we need to make sure that we're not just like trying to do something to be nice, you know, like, oh, like when we try to make conversation with somebody with like no idea what to say.
• 8:34
  We're like, oh, I like your shirt, but like we really don't like their shirt, but you're just saying that because you're trying to make conversation, you know, like that's lying.
• 8:42
  And I know it sounds like such like a small lie, but there is no small lie.
• 8:48
  A lie is a lie.
• 8:49
  And lying is opening the door of the devil and allowing him to, you know, really shake up your snow globe and let that anchor to settle in um later.
• 9:01
  But that comes later.
• 9:03
  So like um, you know, I guess another example could be like your friend comes over crying and they're upset and she thinks like her boyfriend wants to break up with her and you're trying to support her and encourage her and be there for her.
• 9:14
  We can't be like, oh, it's gonna be okay, or oh, you guys are gonna work it out.
• 9:17
  Like, girl, you don't know that.
• 9:19
  Don't buy don't be dishonest and say those things if you like don't know, right?
• 9:24
  Like we can still offer encouragement by like letting them know, like, you know, I'm here for you, and I can pray with you and like remind them that Jesus is always there for you.
• 9:33
  But don't don't be dishonest, right?
• 9:37
  Don't say things that you don't mean.
• 9:39
  Um and saying to yourself like that you're over how somebody made you mad, but really underneath you're holding on to that anger.
• 9:50
  Ha guys, that's lying.
• 9:52
  Lying to yourself.
• 9:53
  Okay, like you're like, oh, I don't care about them.
• 9:56
  Yeah, you do.
• 9:57
  Oh, I don't care about what they just said to me.
• 9:59
  I don't care about her.
• 10:00
  Yes, you do.
• 10:02
  Um, just by saying that means you deep down care, and you deep down were hurt, but you're trying to play like you don't, and you're trying to brush it off, and you're lying, lying to yourself.
• 10:14
  Um, and we need to drop that.
• 10:16
  We need to be honest.
• 10:17
  I know that hurts, I know that's the straight salt, but that's what God calls us to be, is the salt.
• 10:22
  And so we gotta stop doing that.
• 10:25
  I will be saying I'm pretty guilty.
• 10:27
  I do that a lot.
• 10:28
  I'm like, oh pfft, yeah, whatever I ain't worried about her.
• 10:31
  But no, it did bother me and did make me mad.
• 10:35
  Um, and then I just hold on to it, and then like later I'm like, dang, like, no, I really was mad at her.
• 10:40
  Um and so like that can be misleading to us, and and it kind of misleads our feelings until it takes us longer to realize that we were angry or bitter or upset at that person.
• 10:51
  Um and you know, I I I also want to say that we need to drop off being misleading.
• 10:59
  And what I mean by misleading is I'm gonna kind of switch courses here, but I'm I promise I'm gonna come back to it.
• 11:05
  It's all gonna interconnect here.
• 11:07
  So, like when we're saying you're a Christian and you're quoting Bible verses, but yet you're talking badly about a coworker behind their back and gossiping, or saying, Oh, I'm here for you, but then actually not being there for them, saying I forgive you, but then not really forgiving them, like holding on to that anger, that's being misleading because it's like somebody's looking at you, you know, because I've talked about this before, right?
• 11:31
  Like everybody's watching you, and so they're like, Okay, so she's a Christian uh she's a you know follower of Christ, but she's not acting like it, right?
• 11:41
  And so we really need to check ourselves and be the salt to ourselves and and figure out where we're doing that.
• 11:51
  Um and then it continues to say in verse 26 in your anger, do not sin.
• 12:01
  Do not let the sun go down while you were still angry.
• 12:04
  Okay, so this is where I'm gonna tie back in here.
• 12:07
  Um because it's okay to feel angry at somebody, right?
• 12:11
  Like I said that in the beginning.
• 12:12
  Our feelings are valid, but we can't stay angry.
• 12:16
  Okay, so cool.
• 12:17
  You sat in your anger for a little bit when somebody took advantage of us and you took a step back to sit in your feelings.
• 12:23
  However, at the end of the day, we have to let that go.
• 12:25
  And I know it's easier said than done, trust, but that's why we have the Lord.
• 12:29
  The Lord tells us it's not good to hold on to our anger and to our bitterness overnight because we store our anger into, we store our what we had throughout the day.
• 12:39
  This is actual science here.
• 12:41
  Whatever we do throughout the day, at the end of the day, when we go to bed, it stores into long-term memory.
• 12:47
  So if we were angry at something or somebody that day and we don't forgive it by the end of the day before we go to sleep, that gets stored into long-term memory.
• 12:56
  So then you can say, Oh, I'm just gonna sleep it off, and sure, the next day you might think you feel better, but realistically, that got stored into long-term memory, and that got tucked under the rug, where there now is is hurt feelings.
• 13:09
  There now is the bitterness, right?
• 13:11
  Like you were angry yesterday, but because you didn't forgive and you slept on it, now there's this bitterness, there's this unforgiveness um that that settles in um to you know, into the situation or into that person.
• 13:27
  Um, and so yeah, it might not feel fresh anymore, but now it's deeper and it's it's stirring up something bigger over time, and that turns into resentment, right?
• 13:36
  Like you get bitter, you unforgive, and then and then what?
• 13:39
  Like you got this giant ball of a mess, and now you start to resent the person or resent the situation, and you know, not going and taking the time to at the end of the day, or after your time that you've given yourself to be angry and and forgiving, like allowing yourself to go to bed angry, allowing yourself um to be unforgiving.
• 14:02
  You know, I know we've talked about a forgiveness episode back in episode 13, and I'm not gonna go super deep into it, but this this episode here goes hand in hand, and so I do highly recommend that you go back to episode 13 where we have a whole episode on forgiveness um that we let go and that we forgive the people that we're angry with and that um we don't hold on to that.
• 14:24
  Um if you're having a hard time with it, I will encourage you to pray about it, and of course, I will encourage you guys to pray about everything because, right, like praying is always the answer.
• 14:35
  But deeper than that, I will say if you're really struggling with forgiving somebody, you pray over it every single day.
• 14:42
  It's a daily prayer.
• 14:43
  And I will also say um fasting.
• 14:46
  Fasting is a great way to help um forgive somebody if you're if you really want to like forgive them in your heart, um, and but you just can't, like you're really struggling, you're really bitter at them, you know, they really got some deep-rooted hurt up in you.
• 14:59
  I would definitely recommend a fast with the Lord and um ask him for help, and he definitely will deliver that for you.
• 15:07
  Um, but yeah, so then in verse 27, he goes on to say, and do not give the devil a foothold, right?
• 15:13
  So by going to bed angry and not forgiving when the day is over, not only are you storing your anger and your memory into long-term memory, but you're holding on to your bitterness, and that opens the door for the devil and it cracks it, right?
• 15:28
  And so then what happens is your unforgiveness, your bitterness um grows and it grows into resentment, and that door is just being like opened more and more and more to the devil.
• 15:39
  Well, guess what?
• 15:40
  What happens?
• 15:41
  I'm gonna be real honest because this has happened to me before, and so like this is some real life stuff, right?
• 15:46
  So I went to bed angry at somebody, and so it turned into bitterness, and then you know, the next few days I started gossiping about that person, and I would call up um my sister, and I started talking badly about this person, and she started talking badly about this person back with me, and we start doing it together, and we start resenting and unforgiving, and so it was getting worse.
• 16:13
  Well, now I am killing all of the spirits of the fruit that I had inside of me.
• 16:19
  Now I'm no longer filled with joy, I'm no longer filled with goodness or kindness or gentleness or peace or patience or love or self-control.
• 16:26
  I've got all the opposite because I'm festering in this anger, I'm festering in this bitterness that this person did to me, and I just can't stop thinking about it.
• 16:35
  So it was getting really bad, and I was full of anger, I was full of, you know, sadness, I was full of aggression, I was full of no self-control, I was full of no peace.
• 16:46
  I had all the anxiousness and all the anger and all the depression.
• 16:48
  I had no patience.
• 16:49
  I was getting very irritated.
• 16:51
  I was not kind at all.
• 16:52
  I was starting to be mean, I was very snippy with this person, and it's festered.
• 16:57
  And what happened was I opened the door to the devil that one night, that one night that I went to bed without forgiving that person.
• 17:06
  That's where I messed up, and then it got worse and worse and worse, and it snowballed, and the domino effect came.
• 17:11
  Next thing I know, I felt like I strayed away from God, and I was like, oh my gosh, like I need to fix this, like I need to forgive this person.
• 17:18
  But then I was like, Lord, okay, I'm gonna forgive this person.
• 17:23
  Jokes on me.
• 17:24
  I had made this giant issue over something so small.
• 17:28
  I couldn't forgive that person.
• 17:30
  I tried, and I was like, I tried, Lord, like I tried like I can't.
• 17:35
  And he was like, remember, we forgive 70 times seven.
• 17:39
  And I was like, okay.
• 17:41
  So I had to learn to forgive that person.
• 17:44
  I had to do like, I don't, I think it was a week, maybe two weeks.
• 17:47
  I did a I did a long fast with my sister.
• 17:50
  We fasted together, and you know, we did like this themed devotion on forgiveness for that whole period of time.
• 17:59
  And I really had to dive real deep to forgive that person.
• 18:03
  I really had to unpack so many layers of bitterness, so many layers of aggression, so many layers of hurt and unforgiveness and resentment that when I finally got to the bottom of it and finally forgave that person, I was able to have my eyes opened and I was like, dang, I had opened the door to the devil and I let all his friends in.
• 18:22
  And then he had destructed my life for you know those few weeks that I was really struggling with with that person and forgiving.
• 18:32
  And so the devil seen that, right?
• 18:35
  He knew my feelings were hurt that day.
• 18:37
  He knew that um, you know, he he seen his opportunity, and all it took was for me to go to bed that night without forgiving that person, and he seeked his opportunity for destruction.
• 18:50
  And I had to put a stop to it, right?
• 18:53
  In John 10, verse 10 says, the thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy.
• 18:58
  And that's what he do.
• 19:01
  Um so I'm gonna move on with that thought.
• 19:05
  Um and continuing in Ephesians 4, verse 29 says, Do not let any wholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up and according to their needs, that this may benefit those who listen.
• 19:22
  When you're angry, we often want to vent to somebody, right?
• 19:25
  Like I just spoke about my story.
• 19:27
  Um and you want to talk about your feelings.
• 19:31
  And this is okay.
• 19:32
  If you want to one conversation, you you know, just need somebody to listen to you.
• 19:39
  You're very upset, and you just want, you know, to talk about you and you need to stick to the facts, you need to stick to what they did and how they made you feel, and then dropping it.
• 19:49
  Don't start to say like bad things about them and you know, make assumptions about them and gossip about them and go into this 40-minute conversation with this person, you know, who who you're quote unquote venting to, and now you're just bashing whoever it is that you're mad at.
• 20:08
  No, you done opened the door and messed up and gossiped and let the bitterness in.
• 20:13
  Like if you need to have like a therapy session, fine.
• 20:17
  But think about a therapist, right?
• 20:19
  They sit there, they listen to you.
• 20:20
  That's it.
• 20:21
  They listen.
• 20:21
  You talk about your feelings, they keep you on track with how that person made you feel, right?
• 20:29
  And what they did to make you feel that way.
• 20:31
  So if you're doing that, that's fine.
• 20:32
  Totally have that moment, totally have that conversation, no harm, no foul.
• 20:36
  But we need to not, you know, we need to have that self-control to be mindful of not having that unwholesome talk and not having that gossip and not having that negative talk and then bashing to other people.
• 20:50
  Because when we get caught in complaining, we hold on to what that person did to annoy us or hurt us or make us mad.
• 20:57
  So then we go down a rabbit hole of complaining about other things that they did, and we start bringing up old dirt, we start talking real negative about that person, right?
• 21:07
  Like, think about that.
• 21:09
  I know I'm guilty of it, so I know I can't be the only one who's done that.
• 21:14
  Um, you know, you are like, yeah, and last Tuesday you took my toothbrush, right?
• 21:20
  I don't know, that was like a random example, but like, oh yeah, like in last month she took my vacuum and she never gave it back.
• 21:29
  And then when I finally took it back, it was dirty and she never cleaned it out, right?
• 21:33
  Like you girl, that was so that was a random example, by the way.
• 21:36
  Nobody did that to me.
• 21:37
  I just made that up as an example.
• 21:40
  But like, right?
• 21:42
  Like, you start to bring other junk into the situation that like literally makes no sense.
• 21:46
  Some are small offenses, some are old, you know, some are big, some are small offenses, but that shows how much you're not forgiving because you held on to all that other resentment.
• 21:56
  Um, and so that like really ties.
• 22:00
  Heavy into the forgiveness episode right now, but um, you know, being mindful and having the self-control to it's okay to be angry, but do not let our thoughts wander.
• 22:10
  And the Lord has a lot to say about this complaining talk, right?
• 22:14
  So, um, I got two scriptures here.
• 22:17
  I got Proverbs 18, verse 21A, because that's the first half of the verse, says the tongue has the power of life and death.
• 22:25
  I think it goes on to say uh sometime along the lines of like uh the wise person speaks fruit, you should have fruit, but if you speak uh unwise person, something about death, you should have death, or something, something.
• 22:40
  I'm totally butchering this, actually.
• 22:42
  But um it's some it's that concept.
• 22:45
  I I don't know why I can't think of what it is, because I know it, and I just can't think of it.
• 22:49
  Um I'm reading too many other scriptures today.
• 22:53
  Um yeah, so then the second one is Philippians chapter 2, verse 14.
• 22:57
  Do all things without complaining or arguing.
• 23:00
  That's a really, really good one to memorize and a really good one to put on a post-it note, stick it around your house or your jab or your car, and uh use that as a reminder.
• 23:10
  Um, you know, as we I know I've talked about this before, but our our fight, our sword, our weapon against the devil is the word of truth.
• 23:19
  And so when we want to, when we're tempted to complain, when we're tempted to gossip, when we're tempted to talk negatively, to fight back with the word, and when we're tempted to gossip about somebody, we say, you know what, I'm gonna do all things without complaining or arguing, and fight that back with the weapon of the word of truth.
• 23:36
  And so I just think that's a really good verse to use that for.
• 23:40
  Um, but yeah, so by having this negative talk about why we're mad, it speaks death over their life.
• 23:50
  Over their life.
• 23:51
  I don't know why I said it like that.
• 23:53
  Okay, I'm tired.
• 23:55
  Um, yeah, I don't know.
• 23:56
  Yeah, I just lost my little train of thought.
• 23:59
  Let me wire back to this.
• 24:00
  I like reboot.
• 24:02
  Yeah, sorry guys, but anyways, um you speak death over their life when you're complaining and you're gossiping, and you create the spirit of failure in them and over them by complaining and talking so negatively about them.
• 24:19
  We beat up the same point over and over and over again.
• 24:23
  It makes us harder to forgive.
• 24:25
  And by choosing this sin, we allow the devil and other sin to enter us.
• 24:30
  Like I was saying earlier in my story, how I just completely started like being irritable and angry, and like I I was entering, I was not I was entering, I was allowing other sin to enter me, right?
• 24:43
  And so this what happens is the sin spreads like wildfire, like like leukemia, right?
• 24:48
  It just spreads, it just starts to kill us like crazy, and we start to struggle, we start to be angry with other things, it starts to kill our faith, and it worsens the relationship we have with that person, and it worsens our relationship with God.
• 25:08
  I need you to write that down.
• 25:10
  That was real good, that came from the Lord.
• 25:12
  Um, Ephesians 4, verse 31.
• 25:15
  We get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice.
• 25:21
  He tells us to shed all of the bitterness that we have built up in our hearts and our minds.
• 25:26
  And this could mean a coworker you don't get along with and you're bitter with them because they do things differently than you.
• 25:32
  Having anger and rage towards that person, you know, gossiping, talking badly about them behind their back, and how they get on your nerves with other coworkers.
• 25:41
  Maybe you have inside jokes or you're intentionally busting on that coworker for the thing that they do that gets on your nerves, or right?
• 25:49
  Maybe it's a family member you're bitter with that you've talked to multiple times in the past, and now you just have anger in your heart towards them, and you you don't want to talk to them, and you call up other family members to quote unquote vent, but it quickly turns into bashing them and talking badly about what they're doing, and maybe it's a friend that's hurt your feelings, and you're bitter with that friend, you know, everything they do that gives you the ick, and you talk to your other friends or your spouse about how they made you mad, and you just start talking badly about them because they're getting on your nerves, and you they give you the ick right now.
• 26:24
  You know, God warns us in this verse to get rid of that.
• 26:28
  He warns us to shed off the anger that's built up inside of us, to give it to him, to ask him for help, to forgive them, and to be able to move on.
• 26:39
  So hold on, let me get my last point out before we do this.
• 26:46
  Um, ask God to help you love them the way he does.
• 26:52
  Help ask him to say, Hey Lord, help me see them the way you do, to have that godly love for them and to lift them up and to be the light for them instead of filled with darkness and anger toward them.
• 27:02
  Let me tell you, he'll do it.
• 27:03
  I will say right now, I have a coworker who was driving me crazy.
• 27:06
  She low-key still does, but it's getting so much better now that the Lord's intervening.
• 27:11
  Um, and I was just so frustrated with her.
• 27:15
  She was really giving me the ick.
• 27:16
  I was just really angry at her for so many reasons, and I had to pray about it.
• 27:21
  And I was like, Lord, help me love her the way you love her, help me see her the way you see her.
• 27:26
  And after a few days of praying this in the morning, before I would walk into work, like low-key, I'm not like no, not even low-key, hikey.
• 27:33
  I would walk into work, and I just had like this love for her that even though she got on my nerves, or even though she did this, this, and that, I was like, you know what?
• 27:43
  Like, I still love her.
• 27:44
  Like, I'm learning to love her, and I'm learning to appreciate her, and I'm learning to laugh off the things that she does, and you know, go it's okay, you know, she's trying her best, right?
• 27:54
  And I just thank God for that because it would, it's only because the great, it's only because the love of God and the fact that I asked him for help that he was able to help get rid of that bitterness in my heart.
• 28:06
  Um, but yeah, so let's go back up because I wanted to make a point.
• 28:12
  So go back up to your coworker.
• 28:14
  Okay, so when your coworker is okay, no, not co-worker, because I just used that as my own example.
• 28:20
  Um, your family member.
• 28:22
  You're angry, your bitterness at at that family member, right?
• 28:26
  Um There's a helicopter flying by, and it's like really close.
• 28:34
  I don't know if you can hear it.
• 28:35
  I'm gonna try to edit it out, but it's like I swear it's gonna like land on the road in front of me.
• 28:41
  Sorry.
• 28:42
  That was like a whole ADHD moment.
• 28:46
  But anyway, the family member.
• 28:48
  Um, so I'm not even gonna edit that part out.
• 28:52
  I'm just gonna edit the voice, the helicopter out because it was super loud.
• 28:54
  But, anyways, um, the family member.
• 28:56
  You're bitter at the family member, you're angry at them, right?
• 28:59
  Okay, so what are we doing to get rid of this anger and this bitterness to this family member that hurt us?
• 29:07
  We're gonna not, let's let's start with number one.
• 29:10
  Let's not vent, let's not gossip about them to other family members, right?
• 29:14
  Because then we're just spreading the darkness in the sin.
• 29:18
  Um, but let's for two, okay.
• 29:21
  We're going to ask God to help us forgive the person.
• 29:25
  Dear father, please help me forgive Karen.
• 29:30
  I don't know.
• 29:31
  Karen just makes sense right now.
• 29:33
  Help me forgive Karen, Father, for eating my pizza rolls.
• 29:41
  Help me forgive her for eating my pizza rolls.
• 29:44
  I don't want to stay angry at her.
• 29:46
  I really need help forgiving her.
• 29:47
  I can't do it on my own, Father.
• 29:49
  I know I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.
• 29:51
  Father, please help me forgive her.
• 29:53
  Help me see her the way you do.
• 29:55
  Help me love her the way you do.
• 29:57
  Help me have that godly love for her.
• 29:59
  You know, help me really forgive her in the in my heart.
• 30:04
  And pray that over that person.
• 30:06
  Pray that over your friend, you know, who's getting on your nerves, or the coworker, or the family member, right?
• 30:11
  Pray that over that person.
• 30:13
  Not just pray that over yourself, but pray that over your per that person and speak life into their life.
• 30:19
  Start praying for them.
• 30:21
  This is the most powerful thing that you can do when you are angry and you are bitter with somebody instead of yes, you have the self-control.
• 30:28
  Yes, you ask for help.
• 30:29
  Yes, you ask for help forgiving, and yes, you ask for help to see the love and all that good stuff, but to pray for them, you pray for their salvation, you pray over their life, you pray for their protection, you pray over their healing, you pray over their health, you pray over their lives, you pray over their families' lives, you you pray over them, you lift them up, you give them a phone call, you text them, you say, Hey, let me pray with you.
• 30:51
  Hey, you know, have you accepted Jesus Christ into your heart?
• 30:54
  Let me pray with you.
• 30:55
  You you offer to pray salvation with them, right?
• 30:57
  And so by doing that, you you cancel out the anger, it gets rid of the anger, yes, on top of asking for you know, God's help to forgive them.
• 31:08
  Yes, all of that is also important, but to also pray for them and to and to beat the anger and the bitterness with praying over them and extending the kindness and extending the spirit of love and extending the spirit of faith and extending the spirit of God into them when you want to give darkness.
• 31:29
  That came from the Lord.
• 31:31
  That all came from the Lord.
• 31:32
  That was not none of that was in my notes.
• 31:37
  Pray for them.
• 31:40
  Even the person you're angry at.
• 31:43
  Pray over them.
• 31:46
  I'm a little convicted right now.
• 31:47
  There's somebody right now that I should be praying for for that reason.
• 31:50
  Hecky, Lord, gotcha, heard you.
• 31:52
  Um, yeah.
• 31:53
  So I got um one more verse here in verse 32 of Ephesians that we're still continuing to go on.
• 32:01
  Ephesians 4, 32.
• 32:03
  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as Christ forgave you.
• 32:08
  All right, Lord, I see you.
• 32:10
  So just as he just um spoke through me and said that we need to pray over them, right?
• 32:14
  We're being kind and compassionate and praying for them and forgiving them.
• 32:20
  You know, so he not only warns us and tells us to let go of the anger that we've got built up inside of us, but he even gives us instructions on how to replace it.
• 32:28
  So he tells us to be kind, he tells us to be compassionate, you know, and this is how we conquer the battle, you know, we stop feeding into the anger and the attention that our anger and the devil want so badly, right?
• 32:41
  The rage, the gossiping, the negative, you know, bashing, all of that, the the reminiscing and the crap, right?
• 32:48
  You know, but the Lord says when that coworker or that family member or that friend give you a hard time, you know, you pray.
• 32:58
  You ask, you know, you stop in the middle of it and you pray and you say, Lord, please help me forgive them.
• 33:05
  I do forgive them.
• 33:06
  Even if you have to wake up and do it every day to forgive them over and over again because there's that much unforgiveness in your heart.
• 33:12
  I don't care, keep doing it until you truly forgive them in your heart.
• 33:15
  Choose to be kind to them when you want to be irritated, when you want to be irritated, when you want to gossip, decide to choose kindness, decide to say something nice to them when you want to be rude to them, decide to be a role model and lead by example.
• 33:31
  And when somebody is gossiping about that person to you, or when somebody is speaking negatively about that person to you, and in quote unquote venting in a bad way about that person to you, and you're already angry and bitter at them, and so you're tempted to talk back, but instead choose kindness and compassion and say, you know what?
• 33:50
  No, I'm going to stick up for this person.
• 33:52
  I'm gonna say, you know what?
• 33:53
  No, don't say that about her.
• 33:55
  She is trying her best, or she didn't mean it, or I don't know, whatever, right?
• 33:59
  And you and you stick up for them and and show that kindness and show um that you do have a heart for them, right?
• 34:07
  Um, and praying for them, as as the Lord just said, you know, praying over their lives um is just one of the most powerful things that we can do.
• 34:17
  Um, so you know, we are human, and it is normal for us to not always be able to have the strength to do it on our own, and that's the point.
• 34:26
  Honestly, real talk, that's the point.
• 34:28
  The point is for us to not be able to do it on our own.
• 34:31
  We need God in our lives.
• 34:33
  And as I literally quite say it all the time, I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me, you know.
• 34:41
  In 2 Corinthians, let me not walk by faith but walk wait, nope, I butchered that.
• 34:46
  Let me not walk by sight but walk by faith, right?
• 34:49
  And so, yeah, we're gonna struggle and we're gonna battle rage and anger, and we're gonna have that because we're human and we have sin living on us, but we have an awesome God.
• 35:07
  And who better than him to help, ask for help, to forgive, to love, to be kind, to extend a helping hand.
• 35:18
  His spirit, let me remind you, because I have to remind myself sometimes.
• 35:22
  His spirit lives in you.
• 35:33
  All the time.
• 35:36
  And you need to remember that when you're angry, or you're bitter, or you're hurt, or you're full of aggression, right?
• 35:48
  You're full of all of those nasty things.
• 35:55
  But remember that the Lord is with you, and his spirit lives in you.
• 36:02
  And all it takes is for you to tap into that.
• 36:05
  To pray, to talk to him.
• 36:07
  Hey Lord, help me.
• 36:08
  Help me get rid of this anger, help me forgive.
• 36:14
  Help me be kind, help me love them.
• 36:18
  He will.
• 36:19
  That's like your kid.
• 36:22
  You know, if you have a child or you're just think about it as a mom.
• 36:26
  And your kid comes up to you and they say, Hey mom, I wanna make cards and I wanna deliver them to the hospital.
• 36:39
  But I need help, mom, and I don't know how to do it.
• 36:43
  And and I wanna do it, but I can't, and I need help doing it.
• 36:47
  Are you gonna be like, No, I can't help you with that, I'm busy right now?
• 36:51
  No, you're gonna be jumping for joy.
• 36:52
  You're gonna be ecstatic.
• 36:53
  Are you kidding me?
• 36:54
  You're gonna be like, pfft, yeah, let's do it right now, right?
• 36:57
  Like, so that's what that's what that's how the Lord is it thinks when when we come to him with this kind of stuff, right?
• 37:02
  He's like, Absolutely, yes, he would love to help us.
• 37:05
  He would love to, you know, to deliver us from that.
• 37:08
  And um, yeah, so just remember that.
• 37:12
  Um, that we can do all things in Christ who strengthens us, and remember that his spirit is always living on us, and we just have to call on him when we need him.
• 37:20
  Um, even when we're angry and bitter.
• 37:22
  And I encourage you, even when you're angry and bitter, and you might say to yourself, Maybe I don't want to forgive yet.
• 37:29
  Maybe I want to sit my anger a little bit more.
• 37:31
  Even when you feel like that, I still encourage you to talk to the Lord and say, Hey, help me forgive them.
• 37:40
  I don't want to forgive them.
• 37:42
  And and repent for that and say, Hey Lord, help me with this.
• 37:46
  I'm really struggling with this.
• 37:47
  And he will help you.
• 37:49
  And you know, if you're still struggling with it and you've prayed about it, and you're trying to extend kindness and you keep f finding yourself falling short and you're trying to forgive them, you're trying to, you know, be kind, compassionate, you're trying to have self-control and not indulge in the negativity, but you know, you still deep down find yourself really holding on to that resentment.
• 38:08
  And you did pray and you're you're you're getting, you know, baby saps, but you're not really getting anywhere.
• 38:13
  I do uh want to say, encourage you that fasting again is always a great way um to get closer to the Lord and to get over the hurdle that you need to get over, um, or the block that you need to get through.
• 38:25
  Um, so yeah, I'm gonna wrap this up because I've been talking for a minute now.
• 38:29
  Um, I'm gonna wrap this up in prayer.
• 38:32
  Um, but before I do, speaking of prayer, um, I haven't mentioned it in a while.
• 38:37
  Um, but my prayer requests, I have a prayer request form um that you can access in.
• 38:45
  There's a link in the show notes, there's a link in any of the episode notes, uh, show notes.
• 38:51
  There, it's over on my social media, it is on my highlights, um, in my Instagram story.
• 38:58
  Um, where else is it?
• 38:59
  It's a few other places.
• 39:00
  I just can't think of it right now.
• 39:02
  Um, but yeah, there is a a form.
• 39:04
  If you click on a link, it says prayer requests.
• 39:06
  You can click on that, and uh it's a nice little intimate thing that you can like fill out an online card of your name and prayer requests and how I can pray for you and all that stuff.
• 39:14
  And I would just absolutely love to do that with you if you let me.
• 39:17
  Um, it's gotten me some really beautiful connections recently um with some people, and it's just been really awesome to be able to like make real connections um and really get to know people and be able to pray for them.
• 39:30
  And so, yeah, if you um, you know, even if you need prayer or trying to forgive somebody to extend kindness to, I would love for you to connect with me.
• 39:42
  Also, if you live in the area, um I'm in Delaware, in Milford, Delaware.
• 39:48
  There is a uh festival going on tomorrow um in between 5 and 8 p.m.
• 39:55
  And I will have a booth there um at the vendor event.
• 39:58
  Um, I will be doing a reach out.
• 40:00
  Um, so you can come see me there if you live in the area or live in the state.
• 40:06
  Um, yeah, I definitely can come to that.
• 40:08
  Um, hope to see you there.
• 40:10
  Thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you guys or talk to you guys next time.
• 40:17
  Thank you so much for listening to today's episode.
• 40:20
  If you'd like to hear more, there are new episodes that drop every Monday and Thursday.
• 40:24
  If you liked what you heard, please help your gal out by leaving a review.
• 40:28
  You can also give using the link below.
• 40:30
  I'd love to pray for you.
• 40:32
  If you have any prayer requests, please send me an email to your BibleGal at Dmail.com, which is also in the links below, along with all my other social media so you know where to find me.
• 40:43
  And remember, sisters, walk only in faith this week.
• 40:46
  God is with you every step of the way.