Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Is the narcissist addicted to you?
Transcript
- 0:00What's going on with beautiful people?
- 0:01Is the narcissist in your life addicted to you or obsessed with
- 0:05you if you're new here, My name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:06I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
- 0:08And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:11In today's episode where it's going to be answering that
- 0:13question right there, y'all are narcissists addicted to you or
- 0:17obsessed with you, is it? I know a lot of people ask me
- 0:20the question. Y'all, let's get it out the way
- 0:21early on. Let's give 30 seconds in.
- 0:23Let's get it out the way early on.
- 0:25Can a narcissist love? So, me personally, y'all.
- 0:28I might be a little biased on this, but I do think a lot of
- 0:31narcissistic people can love. They just don't know how to
- 0:35express it or receive it. You know what I'm saying?
- 0:37They can love, they can have love, they can have love for
- 0:40you, but they don't know how to express it or receive love.
- 0:44So they treat people. Yeah.
- 0:45And a lot of narcissists are emotionally dysregulated, so
- 0:48they might love you one moment and hate you the next moment.
- 0:50I know what people are going to say.
- 0:51Well, Lee, that's not real love then.
- 0:52Y'all. That's all I got, man.
- 0:55That's all I got. It's all.
- 0:56It's all I got. Give me that.
- 0:58Give me, give me something. Give me a little.
- 1:00Give me, give me a smidge. Give me a little smidge.
- 1:04You know what I mean? Give me a smidge.
- 1:06Give me like, give me something. Y'all.
- 1:08Because, like, that's how the mind of a lot of narcissists and
- 1:10toxic people work right there. Like they base it on things like
- 1:14that. Like love.
- 1:16A lot of narcissists show you love through physical things.
- 1:20Y'all through physical acts. They give you stuff.
- 1:23They take you places you mean. Very rarely are they.
- 1:26They're going to be there emotionally for you.
- 1:29Very rarely are they going to be there to connect to you or
- 1:32connect with you on an emotional level.
- 1:35They just don't do that. Because a lot of narcissists are
- 1:37emotionally disregulated. They're not familiar.
- 1:41Y'all. A lot of narcissists struggle
- 1:42with emotional, emotional regulation.
- 1:44So they are tend to be emotionally dysregulated.
- 1:47So instead of showing you love, they tend to show you obsession.
- 1:50Because they they are like, I don't know if narcissists can be
- 1:55trauma bonded, but they can damn near be.
- 1:57They can absolutely be obsessed and addicted to you.
- 2:00How can you tell? Try to break up with him right
- 2:02now. Go in there to your part.
- 2:06Don't do it. Don't do this.
- 2:07This is this is just a test in your mind.
- 2:09Let your mind let play. Look, play the scenario in your
- 2:12mind. Don't go ahead.
- 2:13Don't go in your living room and do this right now.
- 2:15Don't do this right now. I'm just saying, even if it's
- 2:17like, even if it's on your heart, do not do this right now.
- 2:20This is Lee Hamilton. Don't do this right now.
- 2:23Hey, I'm just clearing myself a liability.
- 2:26Don't do this. But for real, the narcissistic
- 2:28person in your life right here, y'all think about this.
- 2:32If you go put it in, play it in your mind.
- 2:34If you go try to break up with them right now, what do you
- 2:36think they're going to say? Hey, it's over.
- 2:38I'm leaving. And imagine yourself staying at
- 2:40it and walking out the door. What would they say?
- 2:43What would they do Is a thought. Rolling through your head of
- 2:48them hopping about the chair and trying to chase you down is a
- 2:50thought. Rolling through your head of
- 2:52them blowing your phone up, texting and calling you is a
- 2:55thought. Rolling through your head of
- 2:56them popping up at your job or your how your wherever you move
- 2:58to, or stalking you online or sending you 1000 emails from
- 3:02fake address e-mail addresses is a thought.
- 3:04Popping through your head of them tracking you down on
- 3:06WhatsApp or Kik or what's other stuff Kik.
- 3:10You know, Zoosk, they're trying to hunt you down on Tinder.
- 3:13Whatever you all wait, they does those.
- 3:15Do those thoughts pop into your head?
- 3:17Then that narcissistic person probably think you belong to
- 3:19them and they are obsessed with you or addicted to you.
- 3:22I don't know if it's a trauma bond, but when I've broken up
- 3:24with people before, y'all it it. When people have broken up with
- 3:27me before and when I wasn't ready, I I bought, damn it, lost
- 3:30my mind because I was obsessed with that person in the
- 3:33beginning. It looks in the beginning of
- 3:36relation with the narcissist. It it does feel like we love
- 3:40you. It does feel like I love you
- 3:41because I really do think I do. I really do think I love you.
- 3:44And a narcissistic person that you might be have been with.
- 3:47They might have actually thought they love you, but a lot of them
- 3:49were just obsessed with you. A lot of them thought that you
- 3:53completed them. A lot of them thought that you
- 3:54made them feel human. A lot of them thought that you
- 3:57made them feel like a real boy or a girl or what?
- 4:00Non binary person, whatever. Whoever you identify as.
- 4:03You mean you might have made you feel like a real person.
- 4:05Let's just say real person. Let's just clear it out right
- 4:07there. They might you might like
- 4:08Pinocchio, Pinocchio gender fluid Pinocchio.
- 4:13You know what I mean? A real person.
- 4:16Oh, I'm a real person. Yeah man.
- 4:18Just imagine that video, man. Imagine that book.
- 4:20I'm sorry, y'all I love my piece.
- 4:23Y'all know I love y'all that was all I love.
- 4:26But that's how it goes though. Y'all whatever.
- 4:27I whoever you identify as, they they whoever they identify as,
- 4:31you might have made them feel like a real person.
- 4:33You know the narcissism knows no gender.
- 4:35It knows no ethnicity. It knows no religion.
- 4:37It knows no It knows no demographic location.
- 4:41Narcissists are everywhere. Y'all.
- 4:44So you might have made them feel real.
- 4:45So they became obsessed with how you made them feel.
- 4:49The narcissistic person became obsessed with how you made them
- 4:53feel. They came with the the thought
- 4:55of you. They became addicted to it like
- 4:57a a nectar, like a bees get, they get honey drunk.
- 5:01They just be just sucking up nectar and honey.
- 5:03And just like you're seeing a a bee that passed out on a a rose
- 5:08pepper that's not dead. It's just like drunk.
- 5:10It's literally drunk with honey or nectar, whatever.
- 5:12It's just sticking little bee, little bee straw into a flower
- 5:16and just in the little bee bartender, like you had enough.
- 5:22I'll tell you when I had enough. And they pass.
- 5:25Dad jokes, Dad jokes, I'm sorry, They pass out on the.
- 5:30They pass out on the flower. That's how it goes, yo.
- 5:32That's the mindset of a lot of narcissistic people right there.
- 5:35Like they they become addicted to you, like bees to honey.
- 5:39Like you shouldn't. Like I said, you become.
- 5:41You become their drug of choice. Well, Lee, how can you tell if
- 5:45they're addicted to you yo, Their behaviors, their actions.
- 5:48They might not treat you well, but they don't want to let you
- 5:51go. They and they because they claim
- 5:54this ownership on you, they they they become obsessed with the
- 5:56things that they own. You know, in the beginning they
- 5:59might they might have been addicted to you and and obsessed
- 6:02with you. But then one sooner or later it
- 6:04just shifted to obsession. Like they're obsessed with you
- 6:07having you in their life. They're obsessed with how you
- 6:09make, make or made them feel. You know, it's going to sound
- 6:12weird when I say this. Y'all.
- 6:13But a lot of narcissists try to get back to the beginning of
- 6:17relationships as well. You know, it really is going to
- 6:20sound weird when I say that a lot of narcissistic people try
- 6:23to get back to the beginning of the relationship too, because
- 6:27they liked how things were as well, Because at the beginning,
- 6:30you know, at the beginning of the relationship, they felt
- 6:33good. They felt great too.
- 6:36But things have changed, and sometimes they don't know why.
- 6:39It's easy to blame you. Then the things have changed.
- 6:42Sometimes that narcissistic person doesn't know why things
- 6:46have gone the way they've gone. You know, they don't understand
- 6:48it. They understand why you why you
- 6:50don't feel the same way about them today anymore.
- 6:53They don't understand why you don't, why you don't act the
- 6:56same way you used to act. So they want to go back to the
- 6:58beginning as well when they were obsessed and addicted to you.
- 7:02You know, they might like, say it's just it's just a thing.
- 7:05Yeah, I don't. I do think that after a while,
- 7:08when a narcissistic person or narcissist, whatever, start
- 7:11seeing your flaws, I do think that that's when they fall out
- 7:15of love with you and that love becomes something else.
- 7:18That original feeling of love that they might have had for you
- 7:21come become something else. It becomes something some type
- 7:24of weird obsession or weird addiction of the abdiction.
- 7:28Like like it's abducting something from you.
- 7:30It's weird, y'all. It's a weird feeling.
- 7:32It's a weird mindset. It's a weird dynamic that they
- 7:36go into right there. And it's very hard for some
- 7:38people to process. When I'm telling people that
- 7:39right there, you know, if it really, really is it just it's
- 7:44it's it's one of those things 54134.
- 7:47It's one of those weird things that a lot of people don't
- 7:49understand. A lot of people struggle with
- 7:51and whatnot. It is.
- 7:54But like don't stay because they're obsessed or addicted to
- 7:57you, all because obsession can lead to them trying to hurt you.
- 8:00Let's be realistic. If they're obsessed with you,
- 8:02they can harm you. They can, they can absolutely
- 8:04harm you. They can harm you.
- 8:05They can hurt you. They can do a lot of damage to
- 8:08you. So it's just like they know what
- 8:10they can do to you. They know what they possess.
- 8:12You know they they know you know what they can do.
- 8:16Because sometimes you, you've all, you might have already
- 8:19tried to leave. And you've seen that obsession
- 8:21coming out of come out of them. You've seen them popping up,
- 8:23you've seen them stalking, you've seen them following you.
- 8:25You've seen them doing so much other stuff that you already
- 8:28know how they're going to be. You already know how they're
- 8:31going to behave. You already know how they're
- 8:32going to act. You already know it.
- 8:34This is not a shock to you. Now you're not shocked.
- 8:38This is not blow your it does not blow your mind with how this
- 8:41person is acting or behaving, does it?
- 8:43It just does not. It doesn't.
- 8:47It's not one of those things like you're not shocked anymore.
- 8:48You sometimes you get a phrase like, well, the last time I left
- 8:51they lost their damn mind because they are obsessed.
- 8:53They don't tell you that they love you though.
- 8:55They don't act like they love you.
- 8:56They just act like they want to keep you here in this room.
- 8:58Like you're that favorite toy. You're you're Woody.
- 9:02You're Woody from Toy Story. Y'all know y'all y'all if y'all
- 9:04follow me, y'all if you knew here you're Woody from Toy
- 9:07Story. Did Andy get rid of Woody?
- 9:10No, he kept Woody around. He was obsessed with Woody.
- 9:14And he didn't treat Woody like he loved him in the mortgage.
- 9:15Kept him around, throw him in the toy chest like all the other
- 9:17toys. Treated Woody like he was
- 9:18normal. Buzz got all the love, care and
- 9:20affection You see what I'm saying?
- 9:23Buzz got all the Buzz got love bombed Woody.
- 9:26He didn't throw Woody away. But when Woody tried, Woody
- 9:29disappeared. Andy was on the Andy was on the
- 9:31go, crying. Andy.
- 9:32Andy didn't even want to leave his old house because he until
- 9:34he found Woody. You know what I'm saying?
- 9:38That love, that that obsession is strong.
- 9:40Y'all they think they own, they think you belong to them.
- 9:43They think you, they own you, you belong to them.
- 9:46That's that mindset. Y'all.
- 9:47And it's it's tough to deal with.
- 9:49I know it's tough to deal with. It really, really is.
- 9:51A lot of narcissistic people's minds work that way, though.
- 9:54Y'all. I don't think it's at the
- 9:56beginning. It might feel like love, but
- 9:58once it shifts to something different, it's no longer love.
- 10:01It becomes some kind of poisonous.
- 10:02It becomes it's like a love. It's a it's a love substitute.
- 10:05Y'all it's sucro. No, it's not sucrose.
- 10:08It's it's a splendor. In the beginning it it look, it
- 10:12looked just like love. It tastes like love look, it
- 10:14tastes like it tastes just like sugar, you know it's sugar
- 10:18that's real sugar in it. Like, no, actually, that's
- 10:20sucrose. It's that's splendor.
- 10:22What? This is splendor.
- 10:24No, this ain't splitter. It's real sugar.
- 10:26It looked like it feels like real sugar.
- 10:28If you look like real sugar, it's splendor.
- 10:30Oh damn, it's a substitute. It's a love substitute.
- 10:33It's obsession. Y'all know I'll be coming with
- 10:36this. Crazy though.
- 10:37Y'all. If I think it, I'll say it.
- 10:39Y'all know how I feel. Yeah, if I think about it, I
- 10:41will say it. Y'all that's just how my mind
- 10:42works. This is the dynamic, that's how
- 10:44it goes, you know? Anyways, y'all, I'm super
- 10:47thankful for y'all being here. I'm truly grateful for every
- 10:49single one of y'all. Like I said, the kids book is
- 10:51out. You looking for the kids book?
- 10:52Remember, it's not your fault if you have the kids book.
- 10:55Make sure. Look he made a positive review
- 10:56on Amazon that five stars say Lee haven't changed my life and
- 10:59help the kids out too. Stay tuned for more like and
- 11:02subscribe for more. Y'all peace.
- 11:05Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 11:07Y'all. If you didn't know, we wrote a
- 11:08kids book called Remember, It's not your fault.
- 11:11To help kids understand that they are not in control of
- 11:14whatever circumstances they were born into.
- 11:16Talk about boundaries, telling the truth, all of that stuff.
- 11:19Y'all. It's available on Amazon right
- 11:21now or the link in my description of every single
- 11:23video or podcast that you listen to.
- 11:25Thank you so much. Remember, it's not your fault.
- 11:27Peace.