Latest / The Jeff Crilley Show / Glenna Hecht on The Jeff Crilley Show
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- Coming up next on the Jeff Crilley Show, you're gonna meet the great Glenna Hecht. She is a Leadership strategist, author, speaker, my friend, and she's gonna talk about the challenges that all companies face when it comes to growing their leaders. That's next. Many are predicting that the worst is yet to come, which is unfortunate, said one person here. Until now, they've enjoyed the reputation of being the nation's icebox. Watched a burglar in his home this morning by webcam. As a journalist of over twenty five years, stories are what make my world turn. Reporting live from The Dallas Newsroom tonight, Jeff Crilley, Fox four news. But in 2008, I took the jump from my familiar life and started a PR firm from my home. We're talking about anyone with a camcorder like the one I'm using becomes a television network. We started slowly growing the company and we now have over a 100 clients and we've branched into the world of live digital broadcasting. I now own eight different TV studios and have a huge team. And the stories that I now get to share are sometimes the most important of my life. Life has a funny way of coming around full circle. This is The Jeff Crilley Show. Well, I would submit to you that it's more difficult being a leader today than ever in history. When I was growing up in the seventies and eighties, the boss said, because I said so. My way or the highway. That leadership style was very easy. It's not effective today. You can't say that to a gen z and and instead of midlife crises, many Gen Zs are having quarter life crises. And famously, people don't quit companies, they quit bad bosses. So we're gonna talk about that today with Glenna Hecht. She is a leadership strategist, author, and speaker. Thanks so much for coming on the Thank you for having me. This is terrific. I'm excited by our conversation. Well, wanna hear your journey. How did you get into, you know, speaking and coaching? Well, speaking and coaching came out of a long history in training and human resources. I started in training and development for some large companies, had come out of theater, and training felt like the business part of theater. And one day my boss came to me and he said, We want you to go into HR. We think you'd be great for it. And I said, Are you firing me? He said, No, this will be terrific for your career. You can help a lot of people. And out of that, I was in human resources and training for many years, and then started my own consulting business and do quite a bit of speaking about leadership, about HR, topics that are important in companies. And then certainly some of my clients said to me, would you help coach some of our senior leaders? And that became an offshoot of it as well. Yeah. Well, let's talk about the challenges that you face, or any company faces when they're growing leaders, because often you have a young person leading a team that could be their dad's age. Absolutely. One of the things that I find that is most common right now is we promote people that are great workers, but we don't often give them a way to be great leaders. Right? Yes. Great managers. Teach them how to talk to people. Teach them how to talk to folks that are different than themselves, older, younger. Teach them how to have difficult conversations. So when something's not going right, what do you say to somebody to get to the point where you're respecting them, treating them with compassion, and giving them care, but also achieving the results that you want to achieve? That's an art, and so businesses really need to focus on how do you teach those kinds of skills to people, and give feedback to them and ensure you're putting the right people in the job and setting them up for success. Let's go ahead and pull up her website and as we scroll down the website, you told me before the show you like to speak hospitality industry, the service industry. Why are you drawn to those industries? Well, for many Number one is that there are usually many generations in the industry that are working there. Four right now, and there could be as many as six generations of customers and guests. They are many different types of people. You've got leadership, you've got presidents, and then you've got line workers who are trying to make ends meet, and I think some of the most important and hard working people in the world are folks that are working in hospitality or service jobs that are boots on the street. Yes. And so I'm very inclined towards, how do you make work an extraordinary place for everybody that's in the workplace? And and that's why I'm attracted to the service industry. I grew up in it, you know, I've worked for Starbucks, I did a stint with a restaurant company at Disney, so I've seen some of the best Yeah. And know what that's like and how important it is to bring that into your own organization. Sure. And Glenna is an amazing speaker. I found this speaker reel on YouTube. Let's go ahead and roll that. So, have a very important question to ask. Would you work for you? Now, you may be saying to yourself, that's a really loaded question. Question. And isn't the answer, it depends? Well, perhaps. So just imagine, it's the beginning of the season. Everyone's refreshed, everyone's excited, you're opening up, and the answer is, of course, yes. But now it's September. You're exhausted. You've been through a few really tough months. People are leaving you. They may be going back to school and it may feel as though it's not always as consistent. And perhaps your response is, maybe. Or have you ever had a day where your evil twin shows up for work? Anyone out here know who their evil twin is? Yes. Right. And they show up and you go, who is that person? And on those days, the answer to the question, would you work for you might be no. Well, when I use the phrase you, what I mean by that are you, your managers, your department heads, your supervisors. Really anyone that is working with and guiding other members of your team. So here are some things to consider. One is every leader has a shadow. And if you look at this picture, you'll notice the shadow is much larger than we are. I love walking in the sun because all of a sudden I'm really tall. And so it's not only what you see of me, it's what you perceive of me and experience of me. So the shadow is comprised of experiences, stories about you, social media, gossip, the grapevine. And it's basically based on who you are, what you believe and what you will tolerate. So, think about this. Are you one way with campers and perhaps another way with your employees? Are you one way with some employees and another way with others? Are you one way with your experienced experienced camper camper and another with your new campers? If I was coming in, I can just imagine that you would roll your eyes and the thought bubble would come out as I'm asking my thousandth question about what I'm supposed to do. So how do you show up? And now it's time for you to take a look in the mirror and face reality and answer that question. Would you work for you? Wow. That's so powerful. Thank you. And you mentioned campers in there, so maybe explain. Absolutely. I was speaking at the annual Campgrounds of America KOA convention and was on the main stage, and there were hundreds and hundreds of of camp owners, it's a franchise where they all come in and they learn about the industry, they're able to see the new trends. And there's a lot of HR and leadership that's shared with them. So I've had the pleasure of being at this environment and with these people for a lot of years. Wow. Alright. Tell the Taco Bell story. Oh my gosh. So much fun. Recently, I spoke at a Taco Bell franchise annual convention, and there were all of the leaders, managers in the organization that were there, and they asked me to speak about multi generations in the workforce. So, you can imagine four generations working and six generations coming in, right? And you've got the Gen Alphas that are sitting in the back seat of the car, directing their parents as to, you know, what they want, how they want it, and to get it right now. And it's challenging. It's, you know, how do you train them, and how do you motivate them, and how do you interact, and what happens when people call in. So there was a lot of I don't really know what I don't know, and I had talked to many people before I actually did the presentation to find out real life, and then went in and spent quite a bit of time with them, teaching them about not only the generations, but how do you interact with them? How do you act as a compassionate leader with them and understand? And so, it was a wonderful experience and lots of positive response from them as well. Okay. So, I wanna transition and we're gonna put the book cover on the screen because this book is near and dear to your heart. Yes. It couldn't be more personal. And you said you kinda marinated on it for eleven years before you decided to write it. Yes. Yes. So I was sitting at my at my desk one day and heading up human resources for an organization and got a call that my mom was missing and had to immediately walk out the door. And I said to my boss, if you need to fill my job, that's okay, because I only have one mom and I need to go home. And that started a nine year caregiving journey while she had dementia. Seven of those years, she was on hospice. And I was very blessed that my mom lived nineteen days shy of a 100 years old. Wow. So, during the course of that, there were times that I handled it not very well. I did what a lot of caregivers try to do, which is to correct and fix and see if they can make this go away. I realized that dementia is not something you fix, it's something you face. And I kind of gave it up and said, I'm going be the best daughter I can. And during that experience, I found a game called How Old Are You Today? And the game became a ritual that we played every day until the day that she passed away. So it morphed over time, a little different, and I thought it was just for me. I had found something that worked, then I've shared it with other people, and they encouraged me to write a book. And I sat down and realized that I wasn't ready to be vulnerable. People knew me as HR and speaking and coaching and very professional, and I didn't handle the first number of years doing this very well. So as I've often said, Jeff, I needed to become the person who could write this book. Wow. And I did. It took eleven years, wrote it last year and published it in September, and it's a memoir with a dementia relationship game, and I teach people how to interact in a way that allows you to meet them where they are. Alright, so how, tell me about the how old are you today game. How did you play it? Yes, so one day I said to my mom, she was probably two and a half years into the journey, and I kept trying to do things to bring her to a time or to fix her or whatever. And one day I said to her, you know, I have forgotten. How old are you? And she looked at me and said, guess. In this very sort of coy way. Right? And and so I started guessing ages and I said, you know, are you 70? And she would say, no. Do I look that old? And I would be, of course not. And then, you know, Are you 60? And she'd say, No, a little older, a little younger. And what I found with dementia is that they time travel. Right? They're not who they are today at 85. They may be living in an 85 year old body but think that they're 55. And they're not remembering it, they're actually it. So, when I would go in and every day ask the questions to discern what age she was, we would then go from there. And so I was an observer to her at many different ages in her life. Yes. And she would share with me what she was doing, you know, how she felt about her daughter. And you can only imagine sitting as a grown woman when your mother is giving a tour of her house and she says, this is my daughter's room and she's a slob. And it was hilarious. Right? But I realized that there was a gift in it. And the gift was I learned stories about my mom that I never knew before. Let's talk about takeaways because, you know, sometimes the child will correct the mom or dad. Absolutely. Is it important just to go on the journey with them? Absolutely it is. So there is a line in the book that I I always share, which is correction or connection. What would you prefer? Because I spent two years correcting and it didn't work. And it was frustrating for her, frustrating for me, and I didn't show up as the child that I wanted to show up as. Right? And so the game, the beauty of the game is just to go along with it. So when your parent says, Oh, know, dad's in the next room, but you know he's been gone for ten years, the answer should be, That's great! You know, tell me what's he doing and what did you both have for breakfast? Play along with it. Yeah. And it's a rich interaction. And so, I just encourage everybody to try that. The book shares how to do that more specifically. And so, it's a it's a wonderful opportunity. And you have a a very noble goal that you set for yourself. I do. I do. When I started sharing this with people and I saw that they had great success, I decided this is much bigger than me and I have the goal of selling and sharing 200,000 books and donating $2,000,000 to dementia Alzheimer's research. So I want to make a difference in a big way. I think this could help a lot of people, and I want their journey not only for the person with dementia, but for the caregiver to be as enjoyable as it can in a difficult situation. We have about a minute left, let's stay with the book. Advice do you give to that caregiver who's in the throes of it right now? Well, first off, I would say you're facing the hardest job that you probably ever have in your entire life. So give yourself some grace, give yourself some compassion, know that you're a hero to me, and I know to your family as well. But what I would also say is when you feel as though the correction is about to come out of your mouth, take a breath and be quiet and just observe and say, how can I go along for the ride? What do I see here in terms of, you know, clues that could tell me how old my mom is or how old my dad is or my husband? And then, you know, observe and listen and enjoy what you learn about them during the journey. Profound. Thank you so your wisdom with us. We're gonna end with her website, which is her name, glennahecht.com. Thank you for coming on the show. Thank you. You bet. Appreciate it. That's it for now. Take care. We'll see you next time.