Latest / Is Your Way In Your Way? / From Loss to Fulfillment: Allyson Ward's Transformative Journey to True Happiness

Transcript

From Loss to Fulfillment: Allyson Ward's Transformative Journey to True Happiness · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:25
Cassandra: I'd like to welcome you to Is your Way In your Way podcast, and I'm your host, cassandra Crawley Mayo, and for my new listeners out there, let me share with you what this podcast is all about.
0:37
Cassandra: It's for individuals that are what I call stuck.
0:41
Cassandra: They are just in their way.
0:43
Cassandra: There's certain things that you wanna do, that you should do, you know, but you just can't seem to get out of your way, and what's happening is stopping you from living your best life on your terms.
0:59
Cassandra: So we talk about titles such as, or topics such as, anything that's personal or business development, and also topics that will enable you to self-reflect, and so the title today is From Surviving to Thriving, and many of you heard me talk about that.
1:19
Cassandra: That's actually on my website, surviving to Thriving.
1:22
Cassandra: And who better yet to talk about that with us is my special guest, Allyson Ward.
1:29
Cassandra: I'm going to onto the stage.
1:31
Cassandra: Good day, Alyson, cassandra, hello.
1:34
Cassandra: Thanks so much for having me.
1:35
Cassandra: Yeah, what a pleasure to have you, my listeners.
1:39
Cassandra: I'm going to read a little bit of Alyson's bio, just so you get to know a little bit about her background.
1:46
Cassandra: She is a best-selling author and a renowned speaker who ignites change with her compelling tales of resilience and courage.
1:55
Cassandra: As president of the Capstone Group, she elevates leaders with transformative coaching and training.
2:02
Cassandra: Allison shines as a senior trainer for Tony Robbins, facilitating personal and business breakthroughs at high caliber events.
2:12
Cassandra: She's the heart behind Good to Greatness, a life-changing program empowering women to lead authentic, joyous lives.
2:22
Cassandra: With an illustrious background, leading teams at IBM and Boyce Cascade and an academic foundation from Boston College and the University of Michigan, allyson is not only a corporate powerhouse, but also a devoted mother, a wife creating her own harmony.
2:42
Cassandra: What a story man.
2:43
Cassandra: I've not talked with anybody that's worked with Tony Robbins and I don't know anybody that doesn't know Tony.
2:48
Cassandra: It could be a few people that are familiar with Tony Robbins.
2:52
Cassandra: But listen, allyson, I'd like to know what was your backstory before your life turned upside down, like what was Allyson about?
3:02
Cassandra: What was going on back then?
3:04
Allyson: You know, good question.
3:05
Allyson: I think it caught me with a lot of people.
3:07
Allyson: You know our parents kind of laid out a path for us Go to college, get a good job.
3:14
Allyson: You know when I went to graduate school so I did all the things I was supposed to do.
3:19
Allyson: I got married, I was living downtown in Chicago, beautiful house, two kids, right, everything.
3:25
Allyson: I had done it all right and then my best friend died.
3:34
Allyson: It was my mom and she died at a very young age and as that often does when we have a great loss like that, I think you reflect on your life and what I realized was, if I only had another 22 years left on this earth, I did not want to live it the way I was living it.
3:49
Allyson: I was in a miserable marriage and I can tell you many stories of things that might have said now's the time to go, you should make a change.
4:00
Allyson: But honestly, it wasn't until my mom passed away and I had that kind of talk with myself that I was like that was the catalyst that I needed.
4:09
Allyson: So about a year later I got divorced and uh took a year to kind of get my footing and uh turn things around Right, establish.
4:23
Allyson: My girls and myself were living downtown Chicago and uh, one day Tony Robbins came on TV and I saw his cds and I had actually purchased them before.
4:36
Allyson: But I did what a lot of people say Tony says do they buy his cds and then they don't listen to him.
4:41
Allyson: Uh-huh, I had to go to the same thing.
4:43
Allyson: Yes, right, yes, you know.
4:45
Allyson: It was like when the students are ready, the teacher will appear.
4:47
Allyson: Well, now, well, now I was ready.
4:49
Allyson: So I bought the CDs, decided to start doing some of the exercises and I was like, wow, just doing the exercises, I could feel a difference.
4:57
Allyson: I got some clarity about me, we're getting a thumbs up there.
5:01
Allyson: I got some clarity on what I wanted.
5:06
Allyson: For the first time.
5:08
Allyson: I felt like and I know you work with people as well, and one of the things I often find is that people don't really know what they want Right, and I was in the same boat, and so, for the first time, I was able to find the relationship I want.
5:24
Allyson: I was able to find what I want in a career better for the first time, but I didn't believe that I could have it.
5:32
Allyson: And then Tony came to town.
5:35
Allyson: I went to an event that was a game changer for me.
5:38
Allyson: That was the beginning of my journey back in 2004.
5:41
Allyson: I mean, your younger listeners are going to be like how old is this woman?
5:44
Allyson: Yeah, but that really like it really helped me to define and change my beliefs.
5:52
Allyson: You know that not only I could do it.
5:58
Allyson: I deserve to have the life of my dreams.
6:01
Allyson: And that's where everything began.
6:05
Cassandra: Wow.
6:05
Cassandra: So I've not, I've had, I've actually had Tony's tapes and I may have listened for a little while and you know I've actually watched him recently.
6:17
Cassandra: On something I like to know from your perspective, because you firsthand, I mean, you saw him, you were with him what is it about him that enables people to transform?
6:32
Allyson: I think that Tony's singular gift is his ability to break down concepts that you know into stories and into steps.
6:44
Allyson: That allows you to understand and take action.
6:48
Allyson: He's truly gifted.
6:51
Allyson: He's a truly gifted storyteller and you can see yourself in so many of his stories.
6:58
Allyson: That allows you to step into the space to actually make the change.
7:03
Allyson: And I would say the difference between going to an event versus reading a book or listening to a CD is the full immersion, right, it's the kind of crash course, the investment in yourself and taking that three day, four day, six, day set, however long the event is, and really investing in yourself.
7:24
Allyson: There's nothing like and whether it's Tony or somebody else, I would say, if you haven't taken the time to invest in a live program and really done the immersion, do it.
7:33
Allyson: Treat yourself to that.
7:34
Allyson: It's truly important, okay, wow.
7:37
Cassandra: So listen listeners, in the event that Tony Robbins is in town or whatever in your area, allyson highly recommends that you invest in yourself and you do that.
7:48
Cassandra: I actually recommend that as well, because I've not seen him in person, but I've seen him live.
7:53
Cassandra: I say live on online.
7:56
Cassandra: That's phenomenal.
7:57
Cassandra: Yeah, so you know, my listeners, as I had shared, are actually feeling stuck in current circumstances and and they're seeking growth and change.
8:10
Cassandra: What advice would you give them?
8:14
Allyson: Well, I think the first thing I would say is, again, is getting clear on what it is you want.
8:18
Allyson: Okay, so many people don't know what it is they want.
8:21
Allyson: Okay, they go through life kind of letting things happen to them without any will.
8:27
Allyson: For those of you who have heard, uh, franklin covey right, steven covey, and you know what his seven have, you know habits of highly affected people, first up, begin with the end in mind, right, right, and so having a clear goal of where you're going is cannot be overlooked, and so that's where you know working, working with a coach, working with Tony, working with someone can really help you to get clear on that.
8:54
Allyson: There's so many tools and that's really is the first step.
8:58
Allyson: I don't know what I want.
8:58
Allyson: You know you ask somebody what do you want?
9:00
Allyson: They tell you what they don't want, right, and so that really truly is the first step, because they have overcome hurdles before they have all the skills and tools they need.
9:13
Allyson: They just have some things that are covering it up, perhaps the belief systems that are not serving them.
9:19
Allyson: Yeah, maybe they need to reevaluate their values and how they're living their life, but, without question, the first step because your reason why you're doing.
9:28
Allyson: What you're doing and what it is makes all the difference.
9:32
Cassandra: Right, and I love what you said because a lot of my listeners are definitely in that spot, like you know, like one of the things I used to ask people, if I gave you a scale of one to ten, and ten being the highest, what would you, what score would you give yourself in regards to living your best life?
9:50
Cassandra: And it's like a deer in the headlights, it's like, uh so, and I love what you said, you, you, this is something you may can't figure out on your own, and it's okay to get some support, like you indicated a coach, tony, mentors, you know, know, just to get if you're in that rut and you're stuck, you can't do this alone.
10:14
Cassandra: So I mean, we're not super women, you know, some of us think we are, but we're not and just somebody to help you get get through that.
10:22
Allyson: So I love what you said.
10:23
Allyson: I I would.
10:25
Allyson: I would change it just a little bit.
10:26
Allyson: We are super women because we have to be.
10:28
Allyson: And guess what?
10:28
Allyson: We can still have some support, what we can still have some support Right, we can still have some support.
10:33
Allyson: I have in my good to greatness program I have a group of women who are all amazing, all accomplished, and they've all gotten to a point in their lives where they say what's next?
10:47
Cassandra: I've accomplished this.
10:49
Allyson: Yeah, and I'm still not finding the joy that I want to find in my life.
10:56
Cassandra: How do I get?
10:56
Allyson: over it and that's what we work on and in it and for me and I know is from, I'm sure, for you as a mentor it's amazing to see the transformation as I, you know, help them to work on.
11:06
Allyson: I do in a group format, I do coaching, but I love the group programs and it's like seeing them learn and grow and get clarity and then develop the steps to get there.
11:16
Allyson: It's a process, right, it's a step-by-step process that you can overcome.
11:20
Cassandra: Yeah, that's amazing.
11:22
Cassandra: That's amazing.
11:22
Cassandra: And I like when you challenge me a little bit and say, yeah, we are super women.
11:27
Cassandra: But yeah, I agree with that, but I'd like you to kind of discuss the impact of role overload, because that's why I say because it's like on women and how they manage their responsibilities and while still trying to prioritize their dreams, so yeah, so talk a little bit about that, because I think that's the thing the burnout, the overload, everything and you know, yeah, and then we have meltdowns 100%.
11:58
Allyson: That is really walking that tightrope can really be a challenge, especially when we have children at home, or we have, you know, elderly parents or somebody else that we're caring for home, or we have, you know, elderly parents or somebody else that we're caring for.
12:12
Allyson: We're managing our careers, our intimate relationships, right.
12:14
Allyson: You know, maybe it's our church, you know, whatever it is, we have all of these roles that we take on, and that can be challenging, yes, and so we, we.
12:24
Allyson: The thing that I always love to say is that you can have it all, but you cannot do it all, and you might not have it all at the same time.
12:33
Cassandra: Right.
12:35
Allyson: And so it's a matter of understanding and recognizing.
12:38
Allyson: This is the time for this.
12:39
Allyson: Maybe this is the time that I really need to put some extra effort into my work, right?
12:45
Allyson: Maybe this is the time I need to pour some extra energy into caring for a loved one.
12:50
Allyson: This is the time that my girls really need me, right?
12:51
Allyson: Maybe this is the time I need to pour some extra energy into caring for a loved one.
12:53
Allyson: This is the time that my girls really need me, right?
12:55
Allyson: This is the time that my marriage needs to take some additional attention.
12:58
Allyson: This is the time that I need for myself.
13:00
Allyson: Right Often, when I you know, my book before was about parenting and one of the things that I always remind parents, people say, well, I can't do it for myself, especially as a super women.
13:13
Allyson: It's like I can't take time for myself.
13:15
Allyson: I've got to do that.
13:16
Allyson: That is.
13:17
Allyson: That is the fastest path to burnout and overwhelm.
13:21
Allyson: And the truth of the matter is, if you don't, not only will you burn out, but you're setting up your children for those other and there's other people who are watching you that you're a role model for burnout, right.
13:56
Allyson: Right, it's like stop and think about it.
13:58
Allyson: Yeah, are you really modeling the behavior that those people who are following you you want them to have?
14:04
Allyson: Right, you really check in with that?
14:07
Allyson: And then it makes it easier to give yourself permission to take time for yourself, make time for yourself exactly, exactly.
14:17
Cassandra: So.
14:18
Cassandra: With that said, how does one reignite their passion?
14:22
Cassandra: You know, after like what you said, it's like okay, and and basically what I'm hearing, you say you have to set your boundaries, and I love it when you say you can't do it all at one time.
14:38
Cassandra: You know, it's kind of like what's my purpose?
14:39
Cassandra: Well, your purpose last year may have been this, this year maybe.
14:43
Cassandra: This was no big or small purpose, so to speak.
14:45
Cassandra: So, and when you kind of go through that and you are overloaded and say OK, I'm going to take time out, I'm giving myself permission.
14:55
Cassandra: So how do you reignite forgotten passions and integrate that into your busy life?
15:01
Allyson: Yeah, you know again, it first starts with checking with yourself and really taking the time and developing some time to really process.
15:11
Allyson: Taking the time and developing some time to really process no-transcript whatever that is for you.
15:17
Allyson: And I'll use myself an example.
15:19
Allyson: Years and years ago I thought, you know, I always want to learn how to be a salsa dancer.
15:23
Allyson: I always love it.
15:25
Allyson: I grew up as a ballerina.
15:26
Allyson: I love dance.
15:27
Allyson: I never learned how to salsa and one of the things I decided some years ago was like I want to learn how to be a salsa dancer and once I decided then I just had to put it in schedule.
15:38
Allyson: Now I had a big job at IBM.
15:41
Allyson: I was a single mom with two children.
15:44
Allyson: I've had all kinds of responsibilities, but once I decided, and I realized I changed my belief system about how that was going to serve not only me but my children.
15:56
Allyson: I figured out how I wanted to do it, found the class I wanted to take, enrolled in the class and set aside that time for myself.
16:01
Allyson: Right Better at showing my girls and also taking the time for myself, and not only did I become a very accomplished salsa dancer, it gave me an amazing sense of joy.
16:13
Allyson: So it's not just the act of doing it, but it was also that.
16:16
Allyson: This is how we build confidence and self-esteem when we learn new things, and so learning something new and leaning into it is the thing that brought me so much more joy than I could ever have anticipated.
16:30
Allyson: I thought I just wanted to learn how to be a salsa dancer.
16:32
Cassandra: Right.
16:33
Allyson: But it was about so much more than that.
16:35
Cassandra: Wow, absolutely, that's incredible.
16:38
Cassandra: So what I'm hearing is you made a decision?
16:42
Cassandra: Yes, yeah.
16:43
Cassandra: I mean, it's kind of like when I was kind of talking to my listeners about my book, how my way was in my way, and I got to a point where I was sick and tired of being tired and that decision was made because I just had it Right.
16:59
Cassandra: Yeah.
17:00
Cassandra: So, allyson, I'm hearing you say and I think we've all experienced this and I think it's a work in progress I'd like to know how have you overcome, like, is there a methodology that helps you overcome self-imposed barriers?
17:17
Cassandra: You know, like self-sabotage, imposter syndrome, comparing yourself, perfection, you know all of this stuff that stops us from living our best life on our terms.
17:29
Cassandra: So I'm curious to how do you overcome that?
17:33
Cassandra: And, like I said, it's a work in progress, so you probably have to catch yourself sometimes.
17:38
Allyson: Yeah, the listeners.
17:40
Allyson: Well, you know, the first thing I would say is it's always a work in progress.
17:44
Allyson: Just as soon as you overcome that hurdle and you hopefully get in there and celebrate it you've written your book and you're enjoying that you're going to come up with something else.
17:53
Allyson: You want to do, cassandra right, because that's how life is right you come to another, not so much a hurdle, another opportunity, another interest that you want to ignite.
18:03
Allyson: So once you do that, you know, I think, that self, you know, the imposter syndrome is the thing that prevents us from stepping into so many spaces, especially as women.
18:13
Allyson: Right Prevents us from taking the job, from writing the book.
18:16
Allyson: From you know, speaking to that person you want to speak to, from you know, speaking to that person you want to speak to, right.
18:22
Allyson: And so I think the first thing you have to do is understand what those saboteurs are.
18:25
Allyson: What's your favorite?
18:26
Allyson: Is it procrastination, right?
18:30
Allyson: Is it a set of beliefs that you have?
18:32
Allyson: And so each one of those comes with a different antidote.
18:35
Allyson: But the first thing is recognizing them and then giving yourself some grace, right, right, and just really going okay, that's it, I got it, I see you, I see you Right, and I'm gonna do it anyway.
18:51
Allyson: The other thing that I've I found very effective.
18:54
Allyson: I'll tell you when I when I wrote my book.
18:57
Allyson: I thought about it, talked about it for a while.
18:59
Allyson: I was making no progress book.
19:01
Allyson: I thought about it, talked about it for a while.
19:02
Allyson: I was making no progress.
19:03
Allyson: One day it's the dead of winter and at the time, at the particular role, I had a 20-year career at IBM.
19:09
Allyson: I loved it, but the job I had the last job I had was absolutely making me miserable, Like I really really did not like the job for a host of reasons and somehow in my mind I tied if I completed this book, I could leave my job.
19:29
Allyson: If I'm being candid, there's really was no ration rationale that said those two things can go together.
19:35
Allyson: It's not like I'm gonna be a millionaire when I write this book and leave, and you know whatever.
19:40
Allyson: There really wasn't, but somehow I tied it, because one of the things I always believe and I still believe this, you know, accomplishing a big life goal at that, how am I going to reward myself?
19:50
Allyson: How am I going to celebrate my success?
19:52
Allyson: Right?
19:53
Allyson: So, I did.
19:54
Allyson: And then I realized, okay, I don't have the tools.
19:58
Allyson: A friend of mine who'd written the book, she gave me some suggestions.
20:03
Allyson: I got the tools I needed and I got to work and I wrote that book in a very short period of time, given how much time I had already kind of spent working at it.
20:13
Allyson: Yeah, when I got crystal clear on what it was and why, the why it was important to me, I sat down and wrote that book.
20:23
Allyson: Right, I was squeezing in a little time here and there.
20:26
Allyson: Saturday afternoon would find me in the library.
20:28
Allyson: I had two hours.
20:29
Allyson: I'd write a piece of my book.
20:30
Allyson: You know it's here there to get it done.
20:33
Allyson: To get it done.
20:34
Cassandra: Wow, and working with kids and oh my gosh, it was a lot.
20:40
Cassandra: Wow, wow.
20:42
Cassandra: That was an opportunity for you to get really overwhelmed, right.
20:47
Allyson: It was.
20:47
Allyson: But again, the clarity I have found, I have found again and again when your passion is ignited and your why is clear, it will move you over any hurdle.
20:58
Allyson: I'll tell you another time.
20:59
Allyson: I had probably the biggest job I had at IBM.
21:02
Allyson: I was leading a large team selling a supercomputer and in a span of a few months I got married, we bought a new home and then I spent the summer in Cheyenne, wyoming, and I was commuting from Baltimore to Cheyenne Wyoming every week and I was the leader of the team and I'm not really technical, by the way, but I was leading a team of more than 100 people.
21:29
Allyson: So I was out there every week dealing with the client.
21:32
Allyson: There were problems on the project.
21:33
Allyson: I would come home.
21:35
Allyson: Yeah, I would get up.
21:37
Allyson: I would get home like one o'clock in the morning on Friday night.
21:40
Allyson: Saturday morning, saturday morning 7am I would jump out of bed.
21:43
Allyson: I would go over to a local center where I was training some people who had small businesses.
21:49
Allyson: Okay, I have a new passion for myself.
21:51
Allyson: Okay, and this is before, this is before, long before I wrote my book, but I found this new passion.
21:57
Allyson: I love training people on leadership and personal development and I remember my girlfriend said how can you?
22:03
Allyson: You must be exhausted.
22:04
Allyson: Yeah, how can you get up?
22:06
Allyson: And also, what about your time with your husband or your kids?
22:10
Allyson: Well, it was summertime, so my husband was out playing golf.
22:12
Allyson: Yeah, my kids certainly were not getting up.
22:14
Allyson: They were in high school.
22:16
Allyson: They were definitely not getting up at seven o'clock in the morning.
22:17
Allyson: So I could get up, go do my thing, get.
22:23
Cassandra: I was getting recharged.
22:24
Allyson: I was tired from all the travel.
22:27
Allyson: I love what I was doing.
22:28
Allyson: I love inspiring other people.
22:29
Allyson: So again, once again.
22:32
Allyson: It was like once I decided what I wanted to do, because that passion had been reignited.
22:37
Allyson: What I wanted it was easy, right it was.
22:41
Allyson: It was simple for me to do it.
22:42
Allyson: I didn't feel overwhelmed at all.
22:43
Allyson: I mean, I had this energy yeah right, um, that people were like, where's that coming from?
22:49
Allyson: And then energy that kind of energy always only comes from purpose and execution yeah, good, great, great point.
22:58
Cassandra: Um, I like training, love training and would speak, but what was interesting?
23:06
Cassandra: I could be tired, but because it was something that you indicated that you enjoy doing, you get the energy.
23:12
Cassandra: It's amazing to me.
23:14
Cassandra: But and I'm an introvert, but you wouldn't think, when you see me up on stage before, when I, when I get home, I'm like, okay, don't say anything to me, let me go to my space and do my thing.
23:26
Cassandra: But you're exactly right, and that's why I want my listeners to try to define, start defining what it is, and then a lot of them have, and then they have those self-imposed barriers that has them stuck and from that they're going to get some help.
23:39
Cassandra: Yes, you know, so they can get through this thing.
23:42
Cassandra: Wow, that's interesting, it's amazing, and I can remember doing things, sick, very sick, just out there doing my work, and when I get home I'm so sick I'm like, how did I do that?
23:55
Cassandra: Yeah, so that passion is something to that passion?
24:00
Cassandra: Yes, it is.
24:01
Cassandra: How would you describe?
24:03
Cassandra: Because a lot of people say I just want to be happy?
24:05
Cassandra: You know, how would you define happiness?
24:11
Allyson: Yeah, Well, you know, I mean, happiness is different for all of us and it's different for all of us at different stages in our lives.
24:21
Allyson: There is no, this is the formula for happy and it never changes.
24:26
Allyson: It's dynamic.
24:27
Allyson: Um, I I would say in my experience, you know, again, it's growth and the ability to contribute to others in a meaningful way brings a lot of happiness to people and that could look like a lot of different things.
24:44
Allyson: Yeah, right, so for me, you know, learning how to be a great salsa dancer was a way for me to you know, to to develop and grow.
24:54
Allyson: The time that I've spent you know again with, with working with tony I've been in that environment.
25:01
Allyson: This is actually a 2024, actually, interestingly, I'm looking at the date right now.
25:05
Allyson: It is 20 years ago, like right now, that I went to my very first event.
25:11
Allyson: Over the years, I've been to many, many events.
25:15
Allyson: Before I got into the leadership team, rose up the ranks through a senior leader to a trainer and now a senior trainer and, as you can imagine, again as a single mom with a big job in having to travel to events.
25:30
Allyson: And now you can do a lot of stuff virtually, but I couldn't do anything virtually back then and taking the time and leaving my home, leaving my children, leaving my job, continuing to grow and to develop, and then to contribute my and then to give back.
25:44
Allyson: Once I got on the leadership side, it's now I help other people.
25:47
Allyson: So that's my journey.
25:49
Allyson: Doesn't have to be your journey, doesn't have to be your listeners journey, right, but there's some way in which they can contribute.
25:56
Allyson: We are all experts in something, yes, yes, and so by sharing, maybe you are an amazing chef, amazing seamstress, an amazing presenter, an amazing, whatever it is we all have a gift.
26:10
Allyson: Sharing that gift with other people, right, allows us to contribute to other people in a meaningful way, and that's such an easy way.
26:19
Allyson: I know my older daughter is passionate about personal finance and she because she had her missteps along the way yeah, you know, when she was at Spelman College and when she was in college, one year internship lived with her grandparents so she didn't have to pay for housing, blew all her money.
26:43
Allyson: Then she got scammed out of some money one year and she said you know what?
26:50
Allyson: I need to figure this thing out.
26:51
Allyson: She had so much pain around it and she figured out she better master that skill.
26:58
Allyson: I shared a podcast with her and then she went deep dive into it.
27:01
Allyson: But she learned and learned and learned and now she talks to young people and she speaks to mostly the HBCU graduate.
27:12
Allyson: She's going to be doing some speaking this fall at schools to let other people know.
27:16
Allyson: So that's the growth and the contribution piece right and that brings it's it's.
27:23
Allyson: It's really hard to describe the level of happiness, but again, what do you love?
27:28
Allyson: What are you good at right?
27:31
Cassandra: you have so many skills you don't even realize it exactly exactly, yeah, um because, and also others see us see each other differently than we do.
27:40
Cassandra: Yes, yeah.
27:42
Allyson: And I'll give you one little quick thing that maybe your users can do to uncover those hidden skills.
27:47
Allyson: Ask five people.
27:50
Allyson: You know what am I great at?
27:52
Allyson: That's right, like when you think of me, right when you think of your name, allyson.
28:00
Cassandra: Yes.
28:00
Allyson: You think of Cassandra?
28:01
Allyson: Yes, what do you think?
28:02
Allyson: Yes, you think of cassandra, yes.
28:02
Allyson: What do you, what do you think I'm great at?
28:04
Allyson: Because, it's true, we, we, we have blinders.
28:06
Allyson: That's right, right.
28:07
Allyson: We just don't see our own greatness that's exactly exactly so.
28:13
Cassandra: Is that how you got to be called the design expert?
28:19
Allyson: yes, well, you know what" funny?
28:23
Allyson: One of the people in one of my programs she's like first of all, she's like your program's like a massage for the soul, Allyson.
28:30
Allyson: You know like I just feel so good when I go through this.
28:32
Allyson: I'm like I love that, I love that kind of moniker.
28:35
Allyson: But she's like you're helping me to design my best life, right, right, like you're like a life design expert and I'm like, yeah, I like that, let's go with that.
28:44
Allyson: That's what I help people do, whether it's in business or in their personal lives.
28:48
Cassandra: Right, wow, so that's how you got that name.
28:51
Cassandra: Yes, I love it.
28:53
Cassandra: I love it.
28:54
Cassandra: So what first steps can a woman take towards designing a life that aligns with her?
29:03
Cassandra: I understand you got to figure out first of all what it is that they want, what their passions and values are.
29:12
Cassandra: Yeah, is that the first?
29:15
Allyson: step, though I would say you know it's a good place.
29:20
Allyson: I actually like to have people first again recognize what's going great, right.
29:27
Allyson: It's why it's why it's one of the reasons I use that my title of my program good to greatness because, first of all, I've always had people check in what's going great, because people so often look over what's great and they focus on what's horrible, right.
29:42
Allyson: Well, this is wrong and that is wrong, and this is wrong, and you know, and here's the thing, life has a way of handing you more of what you're focused on and often it's just because you're simply overlooking what's great, right, right.
29:54
Allyson: So the first thing I have people do is what's going great, what's going great Right, when?
30:00
Allyson: When my, when my group gets on the phone every week, first thing I ask is go around the room what's great, no-transcript into kind of a four quarters or whatever.
31:00
Allyson: Six months, maybe you have a goal for six months, right, right.
31:03
Allyson: So breaking that into bite-sized pieces so you can track your progress, right, and then you want to go on to, um, uh, thinking about now.
31:14
Allyson: This is the thing that a lot of people skip when they do goal setting and they think about who would be able to achieve that goal easily.
31:23
Allyson: What kind of?
31:26
Allyson: What skills do they have?
31:28
Allyson: What kind of values, what beliefs do they have?
31:32
Allyson: Who's the person who can oh, this is, this is easy, right, I can, I can say and then you kind of doing a gap analysis of here's the person who has those skills, here's the skills that I have, where are we aligned, where's their match and what do I need to do to close the gap?
31:48
Allyson: Right, okay, and then the kind of the final piece.
31:53
Allyson: The final piece of this is am I spending time with the people who are going to help me get there yeah, good because we spend the time with a lot of people.
32:07
Allyson: Yeah, you know, we have those people who were negative or who you know just are not helping us get where we want to go.
32:14
Cassandra: Right.
32:15
Allyson: Right and so and that's actually one of my programs I do Designing your Ideal Life I've pretty much described the whole program for you, right, it's like there's a.
32:24
Allyson: You do go through all the steps, but that is the thing that people are like wow.
32:30
Allyson: Right, you do go through all the steps, but that is the thing that people are like, wow, like when I really think about it.
32:33
Allyson: You know, and sometimes it's hard to pick people in your family.
32:35
Allyson: Maybe you need to cut people out or spend less time or be more intentional about letting some other people in.
32:42
Allyson: You know, I feel so good when I spend time with so-and-so.
32:44
Allyson: Yes, and think about how to carve out more time with that person, right?
32:49
Allyson: So really being intentional with the people you're spending time with.
32:54
Cassandra: Yes.
32:55
Allyson: Yeah.
32:55
Cassandra: I concur.
32:56
Cassandra: I call that sometimes a board of directors, absolutely.
33:05
Allyson: Yeah.
33:05
Cassandra: Or a circle of influence, because they can definitely impact you.
33:06
Allyson: So I'm glad you said that A hundred percent.
33:07
Allyson: Yeah, I call mine my my fab five.
33:07
Allyson: So I'm glad you said that 100%.
33:07
Allyson: Yeah, I call mine my my fab five.
33:09
Allyson: Oh, okay, it's my five girlfriends who, um, and and I came up with that because, um, I had a period of time where I had a friend who was very ill and I didn't know it.
33:25
Allyson: I was like many of us were pulled in so many directions.
33:27
Allyson: I'm a mom, I got a job, I have a lot of friends.
33:28
Allyson: I didn't know it.
33:29
Allyson: I was like many of us were pulled in so many directions.
33:29
Allyson: I'm a mom, I got a job, I have a lot of friends.
33:31
Allyson: I didn't realize until later and I really felt badly about it and I'm like you know what, Allyson, you got to really evaluate.
33:38
Allyson: This is a person who has been a friend, who you know is heading in a similar direction, all the reasons why she's a great friend.
33:46
Allyson: But I really been a friend to her.
33:48
Allyson: Am I showing up the way I want to?
33:51
Allyson: and that's what helped me to say I need to make a decision, because there's only so much of your resources.
33:57
Allyson: Yes, and our greatest resources are time, right, not?
34:00
Allyson: our money people love I had more money.
34:02
Allyson: If you have more money, things wouldn't change.
34:04
Allyson: You'd still be you.
34:05
Allyson: You really wouldn't, um, but you.
34:08
Allyson: What you have is time.
34:09
Allyson: And so when I decided that I'm not showing up the way I want to and I said I got to be much more intentional, I picked to those people and if there's an option to spend some time with that person or somebody who's not in that group, I always choose that person.
34:24
Allyson: I always make my investment there and I know they are okay, that's good, that's, that's awesome.
34:32
Cassandra: Um, what?
34:33
Cassandra: What's next for Allyson?
34:39
Allyson: that is an excellent question.
34:40
Allyson: I I feel like, you know, I feel like right now I'm kind of in that period of reinvention.
34:49
Cassandra: Yeah.
34:49
Allyson: I'm thinking about my next book, thinking about where I want to focus my energies.
34:55
Allyson: Is it?
34:57
Allyson: Is it working more with corporation?
34:58
Allyson: Is it working more than individuals?
35:00
Allyson: You know my passion in life is leadership leading yourself, leading other as a parent, leading in corporate.
35:08
Allyson: So I know it'll sometime be around leadership, like I really am in that redesigning mode.
35:14
Allyson: I would expect in the next couple of months you'll see me start writing my next book.
35:19
Allyson: Okay, uh and um, and relaunching my, my speaking career, because that's something to do.
35:27
Allyson: I'll continue to work with tony.
35:28
Allyson: I'll be I'll be uh, speaking at his leadership event in a couple of months.
35:34
Cassandra: Um, but it leadership is my thing, leadership is the thing that I'm passionate about okay, okay, yeah, and I asked that because you said once I do one thing and this is for anybody, then you're like okay, what's next?
35:46
Cassandra: You know?
35:47
Allyson: the only thing I would say is make sure you celebrate that thing you've achieved, because often we don't celebrate either.
35:52
Allyson: Right, exactly Right, and then and then and then, because that's how we continue to grow and contribute.
35:59
Allyson: And it would be, wouldn't it be selfish of me to have taken all this time and learn these skills and not help other people Exactly that would be selfish, you'd be selfish for you.
36:08
Allyson: You've accomplished so much, yeah.
36:12
Cassandra: Yeah, I concur, because I remember one of my goals was to to write a book, and then once I was so excited and I accomplished it, I celebrated and then I said, well, that's it to myself, like OK, that's it, that's that's what I wanted to do, and something was like, no, you have more to do.
36:32
Cassandra: You have to share what you put in there, you have to give back.
36:34
Cassandra: You know what you have.
36:36
Cassandra: And so I definitely concur, that's my fur baby howling and I thought he was going to be good throughout the podcast.
36:44
Cassandra: He's not.
36:48
Cassandra: Well, I'm just happy that my fur baby didn't reply you're right, you know you have a good baby, because mine is getting indignant now.
36:58
Cassandra: But Allyson, um, how can people get in?
37:03
Cassandra: Well, let me ask you about the your program that you have.
37:06
Cassandra: How long is that program for um?
37:09
Allyson: my program, good Good to Greatness, runs for eight weeks.
37:12
Allyson: It's a group coaching program.
37:13
Allyson: I have not yet announced the dates for it this year, but I would say my Design your Ideal Life program is a self-study program, so if you go into that you'll at least be on the list to let you know when Good to Greatness comes out again for its next round.
37:32
Allyson: I have other groups, but the other groups I only work with my masterminds and people who've been to Good to Greatness right, because it's a foundational training and my masterminds are for people who've already been through that.
37:44
Allyson: The Greatness program is kind of that.
37:47
Allyson: But the other program, designing your ideal life, is a great place to start, um, and it's self-study.
37:54
Allyson: So I've got a great you know platform that they can do that on and in fact I have a uh, a discount code for your listeners, cassandra but they can get $20 off of it.
38:05
Allyson: They just put the word podcast and when it comes to payment, they can get $20 off on it.
38:10
Allyson: But that's on my website and Allyson Ward.
38:13
Allyson: com and then work with Allyson and you'll see the design your life program.
38:19
Cassandra: It's not your ideal year.
38:20
Cassandra: Okay, okay.
38:21
Cassandra: Well, Allyson, this has been great.
38:25
Cassandra: You have provided a lot of insight, nuggets, and you even sprinkled some diamonds in there, I think, for my listeners.
38:33
Cassandra: Yeah.
38:34
Allyson: And.
38:34
Cassandra: I'm going to share with my listeners.
38:37
Cassandra: If you heard something that resonated with you, please share it.
38:43
Cassandra: Share it with your friends, share it with somebody.
38:46
Cassandra: Don't let this just go to naught, because there's a reason that you're listening to it now, so I'd like for you to take advantage of it.
38:54
Cassandra: Also, this will go live actually in the month of July, the 1st of July.
39:01
Cassandra: However, it will also be on my social media, so everybody that's listening will know that.
39:11
Cassandra: I will announce it, I will market it and everything, because I thought this was great and I love from surviving to thriving, and I'm certain that you're going to use some of these things that Allyson talked about so you can stop just surviving and move towards thriving.
39:28
Cassandra: So, Allyson, again, thank you very much.
39:32
Cassandra: It was my pleasure to speak with you today and I know that this is going to be a blessing to so many of my listeners.
39:40
Allyson: Thank you so much for saying that and I really appreciate you having me.
39:42
Allyson: Cassandra.
39:43
Allyson: It's been fun yeah sure.
39:45
Cassandra: So my listeners.
39:46
Cassandra: You know I'm on every Wednesday at 1 o'clock pm Eastern Standard Time, so what I always say is bye for now.