Latest / ROI of Peace / I kept waiting to feel ready to be visible, I'm still not ready, I'm here anyway with Marta Spirk
Transcript
- Courtney Koenig: Hello, welcome to the ROI Peace Podcast. Friends, I'm so excited you're here. I'm sending you lots of hugs and loves all over the world. I love you guys. So I grew up part in California and part in Oregon. consider Oregon, Portland, Oregon, my home. I consider myself inside a Northwest girly because I just love trees. I love trees so much. There's so many good trees. So many things. We, where we live in Dallas on the home that we bought, one of the reasons we bought it because it had so many huge trees. And it's been really sad because we had to take out three huge trees due to them dying. So I did cry. Actually, he was really, really sad. So we tried to hold onto them, but they it would have been bad. Cause you know, we have, we have storms here and if you get a dead tree and crushes your roof, you know, not a good sign. So anyway, when I was living in California, I, and actually throughout my whole life until I got to college, I was very much an introvert. I was very much very, had very little confidence in myself. In the seventh grade, I got really, really sick. I got sick actually with a chicken box, which is so random. And then I got this infection. I was hospitalized. Basically I missed the whole, my whole seventh grade. The second semester of my seventh grade year, my teachers ended up passing me. I think they felt bad for me. Anyways, I had to have like physical therapy. mean, the whole thing was ⁓ a And so that experience made me feel even less confident about myself. And just, you know, just as you're growing up, it was just hard. And this is during a time when there was just like magazines and all these cute little people. And I just didn't feel like that at all. You know, I think most people feel... that way in their teenage years. But ⁓ around college, had decided, was like, this college, I get to be a different person. I get to be what I really feel like in the inside and unleash that. The first semester of college, I ended up going to the summer term, which was such a great little toe dip into what college was all about. And it was a smaller setting. I went to a college in Idaho. It was a small setting and especially in the summer was small. And it was so fun because we got to be outdoors a lot and it was just beautiful. And we would go to the sand dunes and have outings. And I started to realize like, actually I have some confidence in who I am. And if I just believe in myself, believe in who I am and just let it have, just have fun, that I'll have a good time. And that thought of just have fun, just be myself, be authentic, use my voice, really has just changed everything. So that first semester of college, the fall semester, we got some new roommates and I was just like, you know what? I'm just going to have fun. I'm just going to enjoy this. I did a little experiment in the summer. I can do more, I can be more myself, you know, and I can have more of a voice and I can be more authentic to what I felt inside. And as I was doing that, my roommates, had two of them were dating these two guys. And so they would come over to the place, you know, our apartment and hang out. And I was just, you whatever, and just have fun and stuff like that. And they were like, ⁓ my gosh, you're so fun. Let's set you up with one of our roommates." And so was like, okay, sure, whatever, you know? And I was just like, just have fun. I guess I say, it's so funny because now that I'm saying this, I realize how much I lean into fun now as a method of just enjoying life and practicing and playing with things, whether it's business or personal life, you know? Okay, that's really crazy. So two of my roommates' boyfriends set. me and Scott up. That's who the guy was. My now husband of almost 30 years. And I just think back to that time when I met Scott and I still remember like him coming to the door of my apartment. I remember what he was wearing. I remember how cold it was because it was Idaho in November. I just remember the feelings of that and just being like, don't overthink it. Just have a good time. You know what? We don't know where this is going. And we're just, you know, wouldn't it be fun if you know like this worked out but it would be fun if it didn't you know that type of thing Scott and I got married and found my best friend for life you know so this flipped the switch in my mind that my voice had purpose and my voice needed some space and people were not judging me really helped me to embrace the life that I really, really wanted and the relationship that I really, really wanted. I am so excited for you to jump into this conversation because we dive into this even more. That your voice matters, that your presence matters. It doesn't matter what you're saying or what you're doing or who you're being as long as you're tapping into your true authentic self, having fun, supporting yourself in your journey through the your voice. And Marta... Spirk is a speaking coach. She's a TEDx speaker, a bestselling author, and a professional singer who helps women entrepreneurs turn their story into a powerful revenue generating signature talk. And we talk through her journey of how she was able to unleash her voice and to support herself. She had triplets. And we talk about how that was part of who she is now. and how that really gave her the career that she's doing now, teaching other women to have a voice, advocate for themselves. So I'm so excited for you to jump into this episode. We'll do a piece visualization from my app and you can totally spend more time with me and the link is in the comments. I'm so excited that we get to connect here and I can't wait for you to meet Marta. See you inside the episode. breath. You've got this. Hey, Marta. Welcome to the ROI of Peace podcast. I'm so excited you're here. I'm so excited too. Let's do this. Yes. All right. Well, everybody, we all know what we do before we dive in. We play a little game called Pick Your Peace. And this is from my app. And this is a page in the app where it's about the interferers. Now interferers are sabotaging patterns that we all do. And we all have certain sabotaging patterns that we do over and over again that stunt our success and our peace in the journey. And so today you're going to choose, I randomly assigned a number between one and 12, cause there's 12 interferers and you're going to choose a random number and I will do the visualization story that goes with that interfere to reset us, give us some more peace and get us ready for the day. I'll pick three. Three? Yes. Okay. That is the self silencer. Okay, so let me tell you what that is. ⁓ so the self silencer ⁓ keeps her truth hidden, quiets herself, stays safe, and keeps the peace. But really that's a lie because our voices matter. Our voices are needed here and they're part of how we have success and how we have joy. So I'm so excited you chose that one. That is a like super good one. okay, everybody listening, all our friends, thank you for being here with us. ⁓ If you're in a seated position, you can close down your eyes. Marta, you can close down your eyes and we'll let the story begin. In these few minutes, you're investing in peace and that investment starts working right now. There once was a whale whose voice could feel the sea. Her song was deep and shimmering, a melody that rolled through coral reefs and kissed the edges of the distant shores. Every creature in the ocean recognized her sound. It carried peace, connection, belonging. But one season, the ocean grew noisy. Engines, storms, voices, ⁓ a thousand sounds crashed over hers. Each time she sang, she felt smaller. The sea didn't echo her anymore. Her notes got lost in the chaos. So one day she stopped. She sank deeper and deeper into the quiet. It felt safer not to sing, easier to disappear than to be unheard. At first the silence brought relief, but slowly it became heavy. She felt the ache of swallowed songs. whole symphonies she had never released. Truth that pressed tight to her chest. She'd forgotten what her own voice even sounded like. Time passed, the sea grew colder. Still, she stayed quiet until one evening in the far distance she heard something faint. A single trembling note. Another whale was singing into the dark. That sound pierced her stillness. Not loud, but honest. It cracked something open inside of her. Without even thinking, she drew a breath so deep it trembled throughout her entire body, and then she sang. At first, her voice quivered, but as the sound moved through her, it grew fuller, richer, freer. The ocean caught her tone and carried it wide. Another whale answered. The sea responded. The silence broke. not with chaos, but with harmony. And then she remembered she was never meant to stay quiet, to stay safe. Her voice was how she found herself. Her song was how the world remembered peace. What truths or feelings have you been swallowing to keep others comfortable? What might it sound like to let your authentic voice rise again, even softly? You can take a deep breath, exhale. And when you're ready, you can open your eyes. right. Marta, what were you thinking or feeling during that visualization story? ⁓ gosh. I feel like this is so ⁓ relevant because my whole life is about voice and using your voice as a singer, a speaking coach. It's encouraging women to use their voices because that's the old that I felt, especially after I had kids is for the longest time, I would relay other people's messages. And then after having kids is when I was like, you know what? This is the divisor of waters. I am going to be sharing my message now and my voice. So this is just a confirmation and also encouragement for me to keep going in different ways. Cause I'm already, you know, an advocate for sharing the voice, but there are pieces that I don't share or that I feel hesitant or that I feel like, maybe not here. So this is a good confirmation of, yeah, if you're feeling the pull. it's because you're meant to do it. Yes, if you're feeling that inside of here, it's meant to share and it's meant to express. And it's part of the journey that we're here. And I think that sabotaging character of don't speak about that or shush yourself, you know, that hits us all. And we all have to be reminded that our voice is important, that it has room in the space that we're at for us to share and for us to ⁓ nurture that and it says a lot too when we tell ourselves not to speak, not to share, you know? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So take us back with, you mentioned your kids. So take us back, you have triplets, which I was telling you before we started recording, I was like a superhero right there. Like I have four kids, but I had them one at a time and I can only imagine having three. Take us way back before the triplets. Who were you? What did your life look like? Tell us your story. Yeah, absolutely. I'm from Brazil, originally born and raised and from a young age, very, very interested, passionate, slightly obsessed or very much obsessed with the English language and the American culture because of movies, music, but I really took it to the next level. Like my friends would call me the little American and make fun of me for not being patriotic enough, whatever. But then they would come to me with questions and to help. for, you know, prepare for tests. So I started tutoring when I was 14, actually getting paid for it. And that was already kind of like the curvier path. I'm going to be a teacher. That's what I'm good at. I went to college for translation. So I started diving into translation interpretation. I learned French in the process. So I speak French, Portuguese and English, a little bit of Spanish, not officially, but because it's so similar to Portuguese, I can dabble. And that's what I did for the longest time. Like that was my entire life pretty much for 10 years. know, were the thing. And my mom's a pastor in Brazil. So that was how the connection with America became even stronger for me was to actually physically get to visit several times because she started hosting American ministers in Brazil. We started coming to conferences in America and that's how I my husband. He's American, I met him in church. We dated long distance for five years. And eventually it's like, we were either going to be together in the same country or not. So we got married when I was 23 and I moved to America and he was living in Denver at the time. And that's where we've been. and I got a master's in linguistics. Like everything was languages. My entire life was that was voice, you know, like using your voice, understanding intertextuality and culture is all the things. And then we moved back to Brazil. after I graduated because my parents were like, ⁓ you've been away for almost three years. It's time to come back. Try it out. Try living down here for a while. And that's when I was like, all right, I want to start a family. We've been married for three years. And I was now close to my parents again. So it felt like the right time. But I was not prepared for the surprise of hearing I was pregnant with triplets. We did go through a fertility treatment, like first stage where you do hormonal stimulation to stimulate essentially ovulation because my cycles were irregular. And within two weeks of starting that process, I got pregnant and it was triplets right off the bat. Yeah. my goodness. That's crazy. Were you, yeah, so shocked and surprised? Oh my gosh, absolutely. So when we started the, you know, cause I was doing it on my own, you know, just naturally whatever for a year after getting off the pill and nothing was happening. And I had a friend that was in her forties that went to the specialist and she got pregnant pretty quickly doing the same system with one child. So I was like, ⁓ this is great. I mean, if it worked out for her, I'll go get tested. You know, this guy clearly knows what he's doing. And that's when it came about that I had irregular cycles, PCOS, all the things. And then when we, he was like the first course of action since you are the problem, since, know, it's, it's been determined that what's off, you know, why it's not happening. ⁓ is to do this hormonal stimulation. Now there is a chance of twins because we're stimulating, which means there could be, you know, more than one. So I was like, all good, you know, I'm up for the challenge. And then it was that too. It was three and right off the bat. I went for my first ultrasound when I was five weeks pregnant and there were already three gestational sex. ⁓ my goodness. It was wild. And I went to that appointment by myself because we had been going on and off. because it was a close follow-up of are the eggs growing? Now it's the time, because with this whole process, you have to take a different medication to then ovulate, meaning release the eggs. Following closely to see are they growing? Is this stimulation? So it's like, ⁓ on this ovary, there's a few eggs that are promising. On this other ovary, all through ultrasound. So I was going to the office quite frequently, and then I was like, all right, this is the day you're going to take this medication, and then you have to have scheduled intercourse. for two days and you have to lay there and all the things. did all the things. So then when it was like, when I did the P test and it was confirmed that I was pregnant, I also did a blood test and it was confirmed that I was pregnant. It's like, all right, schedule your first ultrasound. And at that time my husband couldn't make it. I was like, it's all good. I've been doing this. I got this. I'm not pregnant. We're just making sure everything's okay. And then he's like, well, there are three. So I left crying. Because then immediately the doctor was like, well, you know, you're probably not going to carry through term and you're a very small person. So it's probably going to be even less like, and I know the doctor was just matter of fact, you know, but to me that was like, well, what, you know, cause I was my image of the whole thing with my first pregnancy was I want to have a natural delivery, you know, potentially even water. I don't know. I had all these plans, you know, I'm going to breastfeed for however long and literally all of that. bubble was popped in a split second and then calling my husband right afterwards. then it was wild. I want to say that the first trimester was definitely the hardest mindset wise, obviously through the physical challenges increased as I got huger, but mindset wise, it was tough that first, those first three months. And how did you get through that? Because I know like have each, so I have, you know, four kids. And the first one I was like, okay, let's do this. And then with each kid, I had even more anxiety because I knew like, I was older, I was wiser, I knew what could go wrong. I knew how awful some moments were, you know, and all these things. And it was a real big mindset game that I didn't even play because I didn't even know what to do. Like how did you, with all that panic of what could happen, what your life would look like? and different things, you know, how did you handle? So I was in denial for a little bit there because I had already started a process of going with an OB-GYN by indication of a friend that had had a water birth. So I had already kind of made plans with that person once I found out I was pregnant, because there was a little bit of a delay until I found out it was three weeks until I was like, all right, let's get the ultrasound, you know? So I started searching for other doctors that would be OK with entertaining the idea of a natural delivery for gerbilis. And then another doctor recommended that I had a procedure, which is, I forget what the name is, I think it's Cercloge, I don't know. It's stitches in your cervix, essentially, to prevent preterm labor. And that essentially means you're gonna have a C-section, because there's no way, you know? And so I was in denial a little bit there. I was like, I'm not gonna get this, let's, you know. hold on until we can and then sure enough as I started getting bigger the cervix starts opening up which means there is a risk for preterm labor and we don't want that. So that's why it was so hard because I was still holding on to the idea that I could control it. Yes. Then there was a moment I was like Marta just surrender to this it's fine. Now the focus is as long as they're healthy. So then that's when my mindset shifted. Like I was holding on to dear life, like white knuckling the whole thing until, and my husband even said, he was like, that was hard for me because I wanted to support you and what you were going for, but we couldn't ignore what the professionals were saying too. So I feel bad for him, but I'm glad he was really supportive. Cause it's my body, you know, like it was rough. It was rough, rough, rough. So then once I was like, all right, this is, you know, it's going to be a special schedule C section. It's all good. Now I just need to be healthy. You know, that's when I started transitioning into, I want to have the best thoughts and the best attitude because I want to pass this on to my kids. Whatever insecurities and fears that I have, they need to take a back seat right now because they are the priority. So that's what I focused on for the remainder of the pregnancy was I need to take this as long as I can, especially when they're saying I'm small and it's a given that it's not gonna go full term. So that was my mindset and I feel like that really, really helped me. Obviously still had some bumps in the road, but the delivery went really smoothly. They did have to stay in NICU, which that was another story of devastation and heartbreak because I wanted to bring them home. It wasn't smooth sailing after that, but I feel like my mindset really helped with the calmness. And I think it is, yeah, think it is, you know, we talk about surrendering to these hard challenges. And I think that's like, there's these phases of like, when we're going through a hard thing, you know, we're like, positivity, blah, blah, blah. And then when the positivity runs out and we're like, we're still dev, we're devastated and grieving over what we thought this would go or, or how long it's been going on, you know? And I think that there's this there's this other phase of getting to the surrender part. Like somehow this is not going how I want it to go, but I know it will all work out. I, that phrase, it will all work out. Doesn't mean it's going to work out how we thought it's going to work out. It is so much different, but sometimes what we can't see is so much better than what we think is right. ⁓ how did you, so that's one thing, you know, you're going through pregnancy and you deliver the triplets. It's having triplets. That is, I cannot even imagine. I'm like, girl, how did you do that? You know? And not lose yourself, or did you? Do you know? Yeah, so interestingly enough with what you started with, you know, I picked three because, you know, triplets and I just feel like it's magic number. I really believe that they helped me reclaim, not even really reclaim, but really connect with. myself at the level that I'm supposed to as a human being. Like had I not had them, had I not had this intense experience, it wouldn't have happened. Like I needed this. I needed this to really unleash this voice, this story. So in terms of how I did it, I mean, there were so many other pieces that were super hard that I feel like contributed to me making the decision of going down the route of having the business that I have right now and doing what I do right now. They were born in Brazil and we moved back to America when they were nine months old. those, which that was a lot as well. So that's, that's a whole other story over there that I'll get to in a minute. So those first nine months, they were really, really challenging. mean, extremely challenging because for three weeks they were in NICU. So there was the heartbreak of after the C-section, I stayed at the hospital for a couple of days. Then you go home and you're like, all right, I'm just going to be coming here every day to visit my baby's breastfeed, all the things. It's all good. part of the plan, then by day three of going back and forth, I really broke down. Because it was like, it was holding it together. Because I would see, in NICU, you see kids with heart open surgeries and all kinds of crazy stuff, you know, and here I am, I have three of them, not one. But they're healthy. They're just tiny, tiny little baby mice, you know, and they need to grow. And they need, you know, to be fed and all of the things. So we're just waiting. It's just a waiting game, but it's excruciating. And it's like, I have the right to not be happy with this and to, and to keep clean, you know? And also because it's like, now they're out of me. So it's like, I get to cry. I get to feel extremely sad that I don't have them at home. And this is my first experience with motherhood and then get to reframe that, but I do get to sleep throughout the night. I do get to, you know, recover from a C-section because it does hurt. And, ⁓ And then to see them grow, to see them progress. then whenever they come home, then the other challenge happens of they were on a tight schedule at NICU every three hours they were eating. So that was what we were doing at home. And we had family members come. Eventually we hired a night nanny to help us with the feedings. Then I hired a sleep consultant that saved my life and I still keep in touch with her. And I was like, you were the beginnings of the empowering me, of me understanding I need to empower myself because I'm the one that will train them to sleep. you know, to understand the importance of sleep so that I can have a time for myself. So that was also really, really helpful is me seeking help, understanding it myself, understanding that that would trickle into so many different things by me being able to say, tell me what to do and I'll do it and I'll be the one in control, you know, but with support. So it was then that, and also because we were already planning to move to America. So it's like, I'm going to move, I'm going to be away from family. There's no way I can survive if they don't sleep. Yes. So I'm so grateful that I did that. And then when we moved, my husband kind of started from scratch with his career, because we had left everything behind when we moved to Brazil. So there was that. The financial piece was really hard. He was working a lot, which meant I was by myself with the kids a lot. And his dad was terminal with cancer too. So that was one of the reasons why we moved back when we did, which was not an ideal scenario with three, nine months old, right? Yes. That's when I was like, I need to do something to empower myself. know, this day to day, it's excruciating, I mean, with one kid, but especially of just, it doesn't end, you know, the diaper changing, the feeding, the entertaining. was just like, the mindset was I need to connect with people. I need to feel useful in a different capacity. So that's when I was like, you know what, I'm going to start a business. I'm going to go into this to contribute financially, but also to be talking to. other adults at the time, it was with network marketing, which I feel like was a good way to ease off into it. But then a little bit after is when I realized I'm not meant to be somebody that has a boss. It's just not my reality. I need to create my own things. I need to dictate how it goes. And especially with triplets, I need the flexibility. I need to be able to say, this is not working out. Let's reschedule because there's a fire to be put out over here. And from the beginning, it's been this idea of if I can do it, so can you. know, I didn't ask for this and now I'm handling it. But you may be experiencing something similar in terms of a life curve ball. Like that has always been my message. And I didn't realize it then, but now looking back, it's when I decided I'm not going to do the languages thing anymore because I'm relaying other people's messages. know? Yes. share mine and to help people share theirs. Yeah, I was just thinking that too. like through mother, excuse me, through motherhood, I've learned so much about myself and I've grown so much and that I was talking to my daughters. They're like, they noticed patterns that I set throughout life. And they're like, we noticed you didn't ever speak negatively about yourself. You know, we noticed you, ⁓ were, you know, like, you wanted to do this career, you know, or, and we're really proud of you, you know, that type of thing. But it really allowed me to see that what I put out there seen as well, but also what they're giving me is part of the process of growing and learning and having my own voice. And I think it's so important that we do have our own voice, you know, that voice matters. And what you were saying about the linguistics and translating, you your voice matters and you're allowing other people to speak into that and to have that for themselves is huge. And so, and it really like leans into your human design chart too, which I think is so great. So, okay, everybody who's listening, all our friends, your human design, if you haven't heard about what it is, human design is like a personality test. It's like the anagram and strength finders, but people love human design 10 times more because it goes into 10 times more detail. And the first place that we start is with your human design type. So there's five human design types and the type that you are, Marta, is you're a generator. And so you're this energizer bunny. You are a builder. You have this deep, sustainable life force energy, but this life force energy that is like a lighthouse when you're doing what you love. It just shines on everybody and they're attracted to it. Just like ⁓ in the ocean when someone sees a lighthouse, they're just going towards this beacon of light. They're drawn towards it because you show the way. So not only do you have the energy for yourself, but you have the energy for other people, for your clients to help them to get to where they want to go as well. And so it's all about this. For generators, it's about responding to the thing that's lighting you up inside, just like a lighthouse. What's giving you a sparkly kind of energy. Your mantra is, build what I love and my energy does the rest. So you can trust yourself when you're like, going to do this speaking event or I'm going to do this, hit this big goal. You're going to be able to do it because you have the energy behind you. And that is a gift. And that's not just something like, to take advantage of. That's something that was special in how you're born. And so have you noticed that this kind of sparkly energy as you're putting it towards the things that you love? ⁓ yeah, absolutely. It's very, very clear when it's something that I am passionate about how it feels versus somebody, something that I'm just saying yes to out of obligation or because I don't feel, because I want to people please or whatever it may be. And it just drags me down and that has been a good way of gauging to like, I supposed to continue with this? Well, your inner self will tell you, your body, right, will respond for sure. Yeah. And have you, so with generators, because you have lots of energy, you can say yes to a lot of things. But when we say yes to so much, we also say no to other things that are actually more in alignment. Has it been hard for you to say no to things out of this? know, because you're like, I guess I should do this or responsible, you know, like, how did you get to a point where you're like, hey, I am just going to say yes to the light up physical response of this versus having to feel like I'm responsible and Marta is the one who does it all? Yeah. So I think it wasn't even about responsibility for me, to be honest. It was more about FOMO, you know, like what if. you know, something amazing comes out of this. I need to entertain this idea. I need to go down this route. And I've done a lot of that for years until, and I think, you know, it's come with maturity as well of realizing like, it's okay for me to say not right now because opportunities, and I actually had a mentor that planted this seed for me. He said opportunities are like a river. They're just going to keep coming. So if you miss this one for whatever reason, it's okay, because it's going to come back around. We were just talking about this actually right before we recorded like, It's all right if you're open to receiving, right? Things are going to come around and maybe it's not the right time, but the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. My goodness, I love that the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong way. thing at wrong time is the wrong thing. Yes. ⁓ it totally is. Well, and I feel that I think in the female founder space, we feel so much pressure to do it all. You know, we're moms, we're like wives. you know, whatever our roles are, plus our businesses that are scaling and have huge impact around the world. And to be able to like try and balance all that feels like a lot, but I feel like that is what balance is. It's not doing all the things and just trying to muscle through it. It's doing the dips and the ebbs and the flows and all things are coming to us for our good all the time. yeah. ⁓ And so with your strategy as a generator and this is really tapping into Trusting your body with the yeses the yeses that feel sparkly and releasing the nose So releasing the no means releasing the guilt releasing the pressure releasing the this is not for me right now All of that and it doesn't have to be part of the formula for success. This is to say yes to everything and so really trusting yourself that your path is, and your answers are in here, not on LinkedIn, not on Instagram, you know, they're coming from in here. And that is really your path to get to your goals. So another part on your human design chart that stood out to me is human design is made up of centers, kind of like chakras, and chakras have different gifts. And one of your centers that you have a gift of all the time is your root center. So it's down at the bottom. And your root center is all about ⁓ drive. It gives you this extra oomph of energy too, cause you're like, will, I see this mountain, I will crush it. I will either blow it up or go around it. I will get through it no matter what, you know? And so it's this consistent drive within your soul. Now, when we have consistent drive and when you have consistent energy, you put those two formulas together, right? That is a lot of like, We're going to do this all the time. You're going, going, going, right? how do you, what has been your journey with scheduling rest or having hobbies or I love your face. You're like, what is that? What does that word mean? Yes. Or time to yourself reading a book, whatever. Yeah. Tell me about that. It's definitely been a process. So back to what you were saying, you know, doing it all. It's interesting because my whole business was built on the generator energy, not always the healthy one. My LLC is called Mom Does It All. Like that's what I called it. That was my brand for the longest time until I shifted to what it is right now, which is the empowered woman and talking about the stage. But I switched it when I had the shift of, crap, I can't sustain this. I need to, you know, pace myself. And a lot of it has been. taking time for movement because of this energy that I have. Like that's one of the things that I've learned, you know, in speaking with different mentors, doing different assessments, it always comes up. You need to have an output of some kind for this thing to go out somewhere, you know? So for me, besides my work, which, you know, tend to have workaholic tendencies, you're working out, moving my body. The last two years I started training martial arts. So that has been amazing because it's hard for me. It has been hard. for me to get in touch with my body. You all the talks of tune in to yourself. What do you mean? I'll just do the next thing in front of me, you know? Like center, get centered, get present. That is like one concept it has been for the longest time, you know? So being present of, if you're not present, you don't know what to do next. Martial arts has been huge for that, which I never expected. That was not on my bingo card, but it's become a huge part of my life. And singing music has been a great way. as well to let this energy move through in a way that, I mean, there's always room for judgment, don't get wrong, but in a way that feels more flowy, know, and effortless than sometimes the business feels. those things. Yes. Yeah. I love the martial arts. Like I would have never guessed that. How did you like, well, in singing, I know you've done that a lot, you know, that's part of sharing your voice. Because there's this, there's this, you brought up the overworker, Rich, I think most female founders have. We're going to work, we're going to crunch every hour. We're going to knock out that to-do list. One of my clients, she showed me her to-do list the other day. It was like this full page, like top to bottom. And I was like, okay, let's rework that, you know? And she has this generator energy, you know? And so how did you get to, like, did you just get so frustrated and try to... do different things or how did you manage your mind when you're like, I'm going to go do this for myself, but I know I have like 500 million other things to do. So what I started noticing was, especially after my kids started going to school, I had lots of time. Because the problem before was that you don't have time. So I had to crunch everything in whatever little time I had. Then I started going to school. I had all this freedom. I could go to events. I could do all these things. So instead of feeling super spacious, I actually started feeling more overwhelmed because I would fill every single second with things. And I started noticing how ⁓ not good that was and how overwhelming that was. But I didn't know how to, when they say, take a five minute break in between calls, know, go outside. Like those things were so hard for me to grasp. But the piece of before you work, work out or do something for yourself. I want to say that in the last two years, It really started working together that I hired a coach that really helped me with structure and my time. But at the same time, I made it a point to myself to prioritize that I would do as many classes, noon classes for martial arts as I could, which means it's a break in my day. So if I'm going to eat, I need to plan it out right before or after this class. And I also, takes me about 20 minutes to drive there. The class is an hour. And so I've been really, really proud of myself because that's a moment where I am completely unplugged. I can't be on my phone. I can't be on the computer, clearly, you know? And that's really hard, because even if you go out to lunch with a friend or you do something, you're on your phone, or me. You know, I'm like, let me check this. I can't, it's impossible, you know? I needed that. That's what it took for me. It's like, you need to be completely here, otherwise you can't do this. And then I started noticing, ⁓ my gosh, that's amazing that my business is still growing. And I'm not working as many hours because I dedicated to this, but I also know that it is growing because I'm not dedicating as many hours to the business. Just what's the nice thing I can do here? Make a post, create an article, you know? And it's like, I can't because now I only have a few hours, you know? Yes! That was like, that was the genius idea that came also because of my kids. I enrolled them. It was just a company. It wasn't like I need to find something, you know? It kind of found me and I chose to dedicate and it's been a godsend for sure. That's amazing. And I think, yes, it is about blocking off that time. And it is, it's going to be hard, right? Whenever we're doing something that we think, ⁓ I could use this time for so much other, so many other things, it is about creating space. And that space takes time to show us that, yes, this is the right path. So I guess for all the listeners to our friends, like just keep going, you know, you're going to feel this tug and pull, but just keep going. And so for the strategy for this center, is really the mantra really speaks about it. It says, I'm the source of my own momentum. I get to decide the pace. So that pressure from the center of go, go, go, go, you know, this extra oomph, you still are in charge of the pace. You still are in charge of that. And so one other center I wanted to share with you is your throat center. This is the communication. Now this center is open. And so this gift of communication goes in ebbs and flows, which I think is so interesting that you have chosen communication and visibility and speaking on stages as your, ⁓ as your business, because it shows that we can nurture gifts. Gifts don't always have to be on for us to take hold, take them and run with them. We can, with this gift of communication going in ebbs and flows, when you're in the room that gift is sparked by the creativity and the inspiration from those around you. We're in podcasts, you know? Like the things that you say are sparked by that. But it also takes practice, you know? A lot of people get so in their head about speaking because they're like, ⁓ I don't know, I don't think I'm very good at this, you know? And so tell us like, how did you, have you been able to... speak what's real and authentic on your soul and give yourself permission for it not to be perfect. ⁓ I think that repetition is a big thing for me. And that's why martial arts has been crazily helpful because it's like I've always wanted I've had a vision of several things in my life a lot or sooner than they actually came to be. It's almost you know we all know girls mature faster or whatever but to me it's like I had this vision of who I wanted to be or where I wanted to go. I mean, even with America, like it started so young that this is my path. I had no idea how it was going to happen. You know, like I had friends having like sports scholarships, doing their bachelor's degrees in America. And I was like, man, I wish my mom would never let me do that, you know, as a teenager. it took me getting married, but I did it. But you know what I'm saying? Like I've had this vision and that was always, this has been a theme in my life where I see it beforehand and it's frustrating because I'm like, want now. But then it's like, but no, you're going to have to do lots of different things and do it repeatedly until you get to the point where you can be that person and do that thing. So that and I think that shows up in one of my gates to like the repetition, the determination, which when I started diving into human design, makes so much sense. like, okay, so I just need to learn this lesson. Like it's clear. It's not going to happen immediately. Okay, great. ⁓ So it's, it's been it. It's just being okay with the fact that it's not going to be that great when you start, but it's going to get better. And what's, what's been interesting is that throughout my life, whenever I have started something, there are things that I've been naturally good at right off the bat. And then I expected to transfer to other areas, but it doesn't, but people will be like, you have a knack for this, so just keep going. And that's enough motivation for me to be like, okay, so you also see it. I'm not crazy. I'm just expecting it to be faster, you know? And that has been the case with like the business. It's like, ⁓ my gosh, I have this vision. I know what I want to do-ish. Why is it taking so long? And then people are like, you're amazing, you're amazing. And I'm like, okay, but why is it taking so long? Yes. I know. I think we all want it to be faster. We all want it to be overnight, but also, The journey is what makes it so powerful and helps us to do things. One of my mantras is like slow and steady, slow and steady wins the race because it really does. You know, that consistency that keep trying, utilizing these gifts for our journey is about practicing. You know what? Even if we have the gift or the gift comes in ebbs and flows, we still have to practice with it. And this mantra for this center is really leans into the strategy again. It's my voice is most powerful when it's mine. And so your voice is the most powerful thing that you bring and just allowing yourself to open up to that, feel the authenticity, the imperfections. That's what people crave. That's what they really, really want. Are those stories? In the ROI of peace, we talk a lot about all these metrics, right? Of indicators, of sales, performance, you know, all these indicators, but the ROI of peace is much different. Peace really allows us to have success with flow and ease and surrender. All these things that we're talking about, peace is that source of that. So which area of your life are you asking for more peace right now? Personally, professionally, and what? What would bringing peace into that area actually look like in your daily life? I think it's been learning to raise three teens at this point. It's so fun. I was talking to a friend that has, I think, two or three year old and she was like, ⁓ does it get better? Blah, blah, blah. know, like, it's still hard. It's just in a different way. But I will say I think it's more fun because there are people out now with thoughts and What you shared was so cool too that you said your kids were praising you for saying, know, I noticed this, that you did this. And that's my hope is that when they're older, they're going to recognize certain things that right now don't really make sense because they don't have the life experience. But I digress. So it's tough because I have two boys and one girl and the girl has completely different needs from the boys. And the boys are very different personality wise as well. So there aren't you so unique, which I know there's a lesson there for me as well to be like, you know, born. to the same parents being raised together, look at how different they are. Look at all of us from different backgrounds. Like we're so, so, so unique in how we perceive reality and our contributions to the world. And I want to be supportive of their individuality, you know, because it's so much easier to put all of them in a box and be like, ⁓ yeah, this is what we're doing right now. This is the sport that we're doing right now. But they have different desires and inclinations and I don't want to bulldoze over those. ⁓ I want to help facilitate. So I think that's what, you know, as they're actually changing schools in the fall and, they're going to fifth grade, things start getting a little bit trickier with emotions, body changes, having tough conversations, dreading that too. I need these. Yes. ⁓ totally. have like, I feel like this is such a formula for growth, motherhood, you know, and really being there for each of my kids. My husband and I have talked about like how each child has needed something different throughout their whole life, a different point in their life, you know, and how exhausting emotionally and physically it can be. And it is such a great vessel for seeing people for who they really are and what they really need and not. putting the pressure or the expectations that I think should be on, you know, while still like, you know, helping them to be good people, you know, like, be decent human beings, you know, raising decent human beings is amazing. So I love that. Well, Marta, I know everybody's going to want to get connected with you. All our friends listening want to be friends with you. So how do you, what's the best way to jump into your world? Yes. So you can find me anywhere. I'm the only Marta Spirk there is as far as I know. Thanks to my husband for the unique last name. Yeah, Martisberg.com is my website. You can learn more about my work. I also have my podcast, The Empowered Woman. I have a book out on Amazon, The Empowered Woman, and social media, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram. I'm all over. And I also have music on Spotify, iTunes. So just look Martisberg and you will go down the rabbit hole. Oh my gosh. Amazing. That is so great. I love it. Well, friends, Marta, thank you so much for being on the show today. This has been so wonderful. Love it. Thank you so much. And friends, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for being a part of the show. I look at the stats of listeners all over the world and I really am so grateful to have you here. I'm so grateful we get to link arms together and be friends and have these conversations where we can all help each other to have peace and to, in our journey and make sure that you, if you haven't followed the show, you can do that real quick. Rate the show. It means everything to me. All right, we'll see you inside the next episode.