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Dirty Little Secret: When Protecting Someone Else’s Happiness Costs Your Own · Billy The Kidd In The Morning

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Is dirty little secret secret.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: It makes one or two point nine a dirty little secret.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: If you got one, you let us know eight three
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: three seven eight seven one two nine.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: It doesn't matter what the secret is.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I would say big secret, little secret, serious secret, silly secret,
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: and you got one.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: What is going on?
• 0:19
  Speaker 4: Okay?
• 0:20
  Speaker 5: So I just got engaged. Oh yes, it was just
• 0:29
  Speaker 5: a couple of weeks ago.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: But nobody really knows outside of my parents.
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: I keep telling my fiance that we should wait to
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: announce our engagement.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Why well, so I.
• 0:43
  Speaker 5: Tell him, you know, it's just out of respect for
• 0:46
  Speaker 5: my sister.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: You know, she just got engaged. I don't want to
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: overshadow her.
• 0:50
  Speaker 5: You know, he's a good guy.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: He just you know, nods and smiles. He thinks it's
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: really sweet of me to care so much about her.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: But yeah, that's not like it's like the truth.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: Oh God, that's not the truth. What's the what's the truth?
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: Okay?
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: So the real reason is because I don't want my
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: ex to know, or at least not yet.
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: Why.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: That's like people.
• 1:22
  Speaker 5: I know. But the thing is my ex is really fragile.
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: My fiance does not know that.
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: He doesn't know how like bad his anxiety and like.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Episodes can get and we haven't spoken in over a year,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: but any small change in his world which is sent
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: him like completely spiraling.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: So you're afraid if he finds this out obviously he
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: sees it online or something, that it's gonna trigger him
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: into a meltdown.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: Like you know, like I'm smiling, I've got this ring,
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: I've this new life, Like it could just completely like
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: send him into a spiral, like.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, do you love him still? Like I mean not romantically,
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: but you obviously have a love for him.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: I mean I don't love him anymore, not like you know,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: like that, but I definitely like feel like responsible in
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: some strange I don't know, leftover way.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Right, how long can you feel I mean that's a
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: good point. Though you can't you can't do this forever.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: I mean, you should be able to enjoy your life.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: And I do feel bad for him because obviously he's
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: dealing with some mental struggles. But you can't, you know,
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: hold your happiness back because of this or or is
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: this the right thing to do? I don't you know,
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: I don't know's it's something to think about.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: I really don't like, I really don't know. I'm just
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: like scrambling. It feels like I can't keep holding this off.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: I think the way you should have done this if
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: you were really concerned, and I'm not saying that it
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: would have went well, Like what about taking your now
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: fiance to the side and being like, Hey, this is
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: gonna sound crazy, but I'm not going to post this
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: right away because my ex is a he's got some
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: mental issues and this might send him over the edge.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: If the guy you're marrying has a big heart, he's
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: gonna go God.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: I don't know though, because now that I say that,
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: it's like it feels disrespectful.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: This is his moment too.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: Proposing to this moment.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: It's is, yeah, it is, but it's I know, I know,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: I know you're right. I don't think I could do it.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: I get why you would not say anything about it
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: because it does feel really weird to say out loud.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: But you do have a big heart.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: But you got to make sure.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you've got to make sure you're not going
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: to hurt your your the guy you're gonna marry, and
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: it's for.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: The rest of your life with he's your priority right
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: at some point, and this is a tough thing.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: To say out loud, at what point is an ex's
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: mental health issues still your problem? Right? Oh?
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Mean we have to take responsibility for our own mental health,
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: as hard as that is, some people never do and
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: you know that.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: But at the same time.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: And you end up being for people like that that
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: always wait, and you know they try to help someone
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: and that person doesn't help themselves. You can get sucked
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: in and be a victim too of their mental health issues.
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: And there's at some point you got to separate it.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: And because this could give mental health problems to your fiance.
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: I think you're right.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: It's just going to keep.
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: It's going to get to the point where like.
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: What am I not going to post my wedding picture?
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: I can't do that. You got to enjoy your life.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: This is a special moment.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Be happy, and if you have the urge to want
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: to share it with your friends and your people and
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: your world, then you should.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: You should.
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you're right.
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: I think when you were like, oh, you know, how
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: long are you responsible for someone's mental health?
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: Like that is yeah, that's real.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: Well, good luck and I wish you nothing but the
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: best and congratulations. Live in the moment and be happy,
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: thank you. Let's think about that.
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: I would love to celebrate it.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you celebrate it. Okay, I've been engaged three times.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: I've still goode a one time. You know what I mean.