Latest / One Voice Many Conversations / Crushing Strongholds #053 Special Guest-Ronald “Zion” Roseboro, “Samson Restored Movement”

Transcript

Crushing Strongholds #053 Special Guest-Ronald “Zion” Roseboro, “Samson Restored Movement” · One Voice Many Conversations

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_02: Hello, everyone.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to another great episode of Crushing Strongholds.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: This is a podcast where we turn pain into power and trauma into triumph.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: And how do we do that?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: We do that by exposing the lies of the enemy.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: And how do we do that?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: We do that by sharing the testimony and the faith that people have brought to the table where they have overcome and crushed strongholds of their own.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: Today I have an amazing guest.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'm super excited about bringing this gentleman on.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: Can't wait to hear his testimony and have it be shared with you all.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: This gentleman's name is Ronald Zion Roseburl.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: He was released from the U.S.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: prison system in 2004.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: And over 20 years later, he was the founder and CEO, or is, not was, the founder and CEO of Shame Free Life Coaching and Consulting.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: He's also a certified trauma informed coach, professional life coach, and inventor of the brick methodology, which is amazing.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going to piggyback off that in the middle of this conversation, but he also has written books and he works with helping men overcome.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I love his mission because he likes to help men overcome when life throws bricks at you.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I love how he uses that analogy.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: So, Ronald, welcome in.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't you come in and say hi and tell people a little bit about yourself today?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me, Nikki.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's a pleasure.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so um as you indicated, I am a trauma uh uh informed coach, and uh so we have a lot to unpack.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um one of the one of the things that I I absolutely love to do is to be a part of a journey, part of a story, because we all have a testimony.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that uh even when you talk about the title of your show, um uh just breaking strongholds, um that uh that we all can attest to um having a particular stronghold.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it may be you know a stronghold uh that is that is psychological, emotional, physical, financial.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: We all have been in a type of prison, if you will.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you've never visited a literal prison, um chances are that you have been in one, uh in one stage or phase of life.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I basically um help men, as you indicated earlier, uh rebuild their lives one brick at a time.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so um that's something that I do, and but I didn't start that way.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I had to go through my own evolution, I had to go through my own stages of development to get to a place and space in life uh that I can actually live shame free, which is the no pun intended, but uh the uh is is basically the uh the title of my uh or the name of my uh practice, um, and and so that we can live a life uh not only without shame, but empowerment.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's wonderful.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_02: I I do want to, like I said a little bit earlier, I do kind of want to piggyback off from the brick mythology because when you talk about crushing strongholds um in 2 Corinthians, it talks about um tearing down and pulling down the strongholds.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: And what I envision with that is um when you're facing those walls and you're up against um that travesty, you want to you want to tear them down brick by brick.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: But the recovery part of that is the rebuild.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I love that you actually are focusing in on the rebuild, the the putting yourself back together, putting yourself back brick by brick, brick, place by place, to overcoming the strongholds that we face in life.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I love that because I think about, you know, like you said, the fortress, a fortress, another word for fortress is, or stronghold is a fortress, is a prison.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we can look at it one way or the other in the book that I wrote um um called Hide and Seek, it actually talks about that where um your fortress could be your safe haven or it could be your prison cell.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so I agree with exactly with what you said, because I believe that we all at one time or another have found ourselves imprisoned to some type of stronghold in our life.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: And that's why I started this podcast because as I went through my journey, like you have gone through yours, and I can't wait to hear your testimony here in a moment.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: But as I went through my journey, I realized what I was up against were the strongholds.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_02: And until I broke them down and crushed them, they were keeping me from where God wanted me to be.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: And God gave us an assignment, that's his characteristic.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_02: We were all designed and created, and he equipped us, but we allow strongholds to get in the way of God's purpose for our life.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: And if we don't tear them down, we can't even start the rebuild.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_02: So I love that you use that.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it's wonderful because it really does um mesh up with what I'm doing in this podcast, is with what you're doing with helping men rebuild back up from what they've had to knock down.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: And you do have to knock them down in order to get back up.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we have to get to the very bottom, and we then we have to get the broom in the dustpan out, we have to clean up the mess.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know, construction is never pretty.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's never, it's always a messy thing.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you need a lot of hands on deck to help you, and sometimes you can handle it yourself, you know.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I always say that, you know, through anything, God can help you always, no matter what it is, He can help with what you're facing.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: So um, would you mind sharing with us some of your testimony?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: Because I'm excited to hear what you what you want to share with us today.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a lot to unpack.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So let's just try to condense everything and go back to the very beginning.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I uh came from a two-parent household that uh that broke up.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um my mother uh divorced my father at age two.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I was age two, obviously.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so she remarried um when I was around age seven or eight, give or take.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um I never had a um uh a blueprint, if you will, of what uh masculinity looks like.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: But I certainly don't want to throw my stepfather under the bus because he was an amazing man.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: He actually showed me, it was my first glimpse to see a man um uh steward his household well financially.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I got a chance to see how the allocation of uh of money to certain bills, uh savings, uh, what it what it actually looks like.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: However, he was MIA emotionally, psychologically, and certain certainly spiritually, which I derive uh came from or trickled down from his relationship with his father or lack thereof.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: So now we're seeing a generational pattern, a transgenerational pattern of dissonance, uh disconnection, and every um uh child needs to be in an environment where you are embreded with the autonomy to uh come into your own, to be celebrated, um, so you can develop a secure attachment.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: So when you walk out of that door to um in into a world uh that can be very cold and callous, that you have a uh inner fortitude that have been um established uh uh concerning your identity.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: So regardless of what comes uh your way, you can take on the world with the mind uh to not be defeated, but that uh you can overcome anything.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: But I never had that.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: So in growing up, um I would seek that outside of the home since that part of me could not be satisfied within the home.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, I ran into other uh youth that were just as uh blind as I was, um, and and and uh came from a similar situation or far worse than mine.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: So here, you know, we see how the blind is leading the blind, and eventually you both fall into a ditch.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh everyone is without proper navigation, uh, everyone uh within my circle, uh, they had no concept or understanding what true masculinity really is, not what the world says, but but what God says.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so um, but I did have people in and out of my life, and it's a wonderful thing because even if you don't have all of the tools to build, um, we serve a God who will always intersect you with someone uh that can show up in your life and give you what you never had or show you what you have never seen.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I whether it's an uncle, whether it's uh uh uh an aunt, whether it's uh uh uh a supervisor on on a job, um, I would always have those wonderful clash moments when I'm standing face to face with someone who can see the best in me and try to extract that.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so uh as I began to uh to to grow you know in in stature, I had a very low self-worth.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um and uh uh that that began to began to worsen as I got older.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um I had I encountered being bullied um in junior high or middle school.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and then uh I mastered the art of fighting.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so, of course, not just to to uh protect myself or defend myself uh rightfully so, but but but to gain some level of respect uh and honor um that I never had.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so um as I began to grow and now matriculate into uh into high school, um, girls started noticing me.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um we would um um go to different um uh pool parties, house parties, uh just trying to find myself.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still on a pursuit to find this thing called masculinity.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And everyone that I ran into, my peers, they uh had a sense of masculinity, but they didn't have a grasp of that concept.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm still trying to find my way through life and and um I um later uh in life, uh as a young adult, I met this woman who was the um uh the daughter of a sergeant in internal affairs, um, who uh now found out years later who um uh got his uh his gun taken from him because he committed domestic violence against a woman that was not his wife.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: So now he's committed to desk detail, and uh eventually he was fired from the force uh due to indiscretions.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I started dating his daughter.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we are adults now, and um we dated for about a year, and uh she accused me of assault, and uh I rigorously uh and strategically attempted to prove my innocence.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, never been in trouble a day in my life, uh, never had anything uh aside from a traffic violation, never seen the side of uh the inside of any prison whatsoever.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um again, you know, I came from a background where my mother was a highly decorated educator.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh she was a um a 25-year um veteran as a uh school teacher.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: So she had four degrees under a belt, chemistry, physics, etc., etc.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: So um uh this young lady, she accused me of assault.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um I was offered a plea deal, which uh I'm not a fan of plea deals when you are innocent.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so um I took it to trial.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, unfortunately, um it was myself against the entire police department uh at that time uh that were directly connected to her father uh before he was um uh vacated from law enforcement.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so um I was um I was sentenced to five years and one month.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it was um it was a an immense time of trauma.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um trauma on on every level possible.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um just imagine you le uh leaving civilian life.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let me preference this by saying that upon my entrance into the prison system, um I worked um at a well-known bank during that time.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Also worked at an insurance company, well-known insurance company.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: I was in the college transfer program at a community college getting ready to transfer.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Also, I was a single parent.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I had custody of my daughter.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and her mother and I, we uh made a uh consensual agreement through the courts that this would be the best interest because she had uh other children at that time.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: And um I felt that even though I never knew what it was like to have a male figure to show me the way concerning fatherhood and masculinity, I can still learn, even if it's hands-on training, and that's what I elected to do.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so um uh took my daughter in uh at age one, raised her until age um 11.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, 11.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was myself, my mother at that time, and my grandmother that were responsible for um raising her uh uh caregiving, uh making sure that all homework was done.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um I didn't know how to do hair, so I took her to the salon every other week, uh, visiting her teachers to make sure that um that her grades are up to par.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if not, what do we need to do uh to make sure uh that she moves in the right direction with some type of structure?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so uh all of that was it came to a screeching heart, a violent heart, um, when the gavel dropped, and I was placed inside of an abnormal culture that I had no clue uh existed on the other side.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so um it was a time of trauma.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: I had a nervous breakdown, um, but glory be to God, he healed my mind, uh restored me, and and and placed my feet on solid rock.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so um uh coming home, um, I was released um after five years and one month.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I came home uh during the time.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now, while I was away, I helped men to read, those who did not know how to read.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um I helped men with their homework.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um I led many Bible studies.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Every uh prison that I visited, uh I was also visited by that sitting warden or superintendent, um, who always came to me with the same story, different face, different gender, but the same story.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: I've been watching you and I like the work that you're doing here.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna give you immediate access not only to your block or your side of the prison, but any man who wants to come to your Bible study, I'm gonna give, I'm gonna gain them uh clearance to do so.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I always received a Joseph like favor wherever I went, uh, even though that I was um I was traumatized.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I I would I would have uh a battle with anger and resentment.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and that began to morph uh as I exited uh the prison system.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I came home and expecting to truly start my life all over again, but I just stepped out of one prison into another prison.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: I stepped out of minimum security and I stepped into maximum security emotionally uh from a societal standpoint.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: So now I'm stepping into I'm stepping back into another culture that I was taken out of, and uh I had to deal with discrimination on a high level.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I had to deal with employers um that would not hire me.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: I had to deal with uh being a second-class citizen and um uh very eager to share my story, not what you see on your screen or what you think you know, but let me share my story, my side with you.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but then to find uh so many people that are uninterested in what you have to say because they are just going by what they can visually see as opposed to what you say, even though that you uh you're speaking from the horse's mouth.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I had to deal with that.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it was very, it was it was extremely difficult.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so I had to seek counseling myself.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: And when I sought counseling, and I had to pray about who I don't know who to trust because my trust had been betrayed and damaged at this time.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: So um a um a door opened for me to come in contact with a counselor and a therapist, actually, and she was one of the best investments that I ever made in my life to bring me from a place of darkness to a place of light to a place of hope uh and advocacy.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: So um that's a condensed version, but we can unpack that uh as you see fit.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's awesome.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_02: I know that um dealing with the prison system can be scary.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: When did you when did you realize that God actually had you?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like when did you start?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_02: Because you started doing Bible studies in the prison.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_02: Were you spiritual before you went to prison?
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um were you going to church at that time?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_02: When did your walk with the Lord begin?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so my name was on the church roll, um, but I did not have a relationship.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: There's a distinct difference in professing Christ and possessing Christ.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: I did not possess him.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: And and so, but I knew that I was called by God at age five.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it was something that I thought was very um um very honorable and uh is very gracious, and and no matter where I would go uh to visit, uh regardless of the church, um, and regardless of the denomination, I would always get uh pulled out of the crowd.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is what God is saying, his hand is on you.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: There's a call on your life, you can't shake it, the hook is in your jaw, you might as well come to Christ.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: This is your time.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I never wanted to.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I was I was the classical modernized version of Jonah, and so I found myself in this uh in this prepared fish in the very belly of it, and uh no one can help me.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: My mother could not help me, bless her heart.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she went on to be with the Lord.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but to see her break down and cry on the other side of the plexiglass, and she's trying to pour resources together, she's trying to get a second mortgage on the house, she's trying to get me back in court, she's doing all of these things.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and and and and and it's it was almost like a holding pattern was divinely established uh to get me to a place that I could actually be birthed out, um, but to but to come into uh to contact uh with God um as a uh as as my Lord, as my savior, uh and uh as as as father that I never had.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I I I truly um did not possess Christ, though I professed him.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, even even though you were teaching Bible studies, you were still in that same same position?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: When when when uh when uh when I was um when I was sentenced the very the very day that I was that I that I was sentenced, uh I was in my cell and I was waiting for transport to prison.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so there was a two-week uh uh layover that uh from what I understand should never take place because once you um are in jail and you are you are awaiting transport, uh they're very uh vigorous in getting you there.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um but for whatever reason there was a two week layover because you know it it was it was it was a divine purpose.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: But it was during that time where I began to just unravel.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: I began to uh take off all of the personas.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the facades, I began to really get into God's presence more.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: I began to just bear my heart before Him in true repentance.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: And it was during that time that God heard my He heard my cry.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: He heard my prayer.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: But the sincerity of my heart, because I need you.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I need you because I'm here, but I need you to give me understanding on why I am here.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: I need you because I've always neglected you.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know you.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: I know you from uh from messages and sermons from pastors and evangelists, but I truly don't know you for my one self.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so um that began my journey, my salvation journey, my soul restoration journey.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: That is crazy because I know that when when people get saved, what I what I've always noticed, when I got saved at 10 years old, I was at a Billy Graham crusade and it was packed with thousands of people.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember I was like, I gotta get down there, I gotta get Jesus like right now.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: I need Jesus, like right now.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: I was this little kid, my grandma was like, Oh no, and I said, Oh yes, I'll be right back.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember I needed Jesus so much and I wanted Jesus, but after that I didn't get discipled.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: And being raised in and out of foster homes, I went through different churches and denominations, and you know, and it was just kind of a scrambled egg.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like I felt yo-yo'd around.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember thinking, God, what is it that you want with me?
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: You know, what is it, what, why?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_02: You know, everybody always says that why question, why is this happening to me?
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_02: And um I had a person ask me one time, so what is your relationship like with Jesus?
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Oh, I go to church.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: And they're like, No, what is your relationship like with Jesus?
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I sing on the worship team.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: No, what is your relationship?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: And it really hit me.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_02: And when my friend left, I literally found myself on my face going, I know you, but I don't know who you are.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have that personal relationship.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: And it all those years, even though Jesus was like my best friend and I he always showed up for me.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I knew I could always say that was God, you know, that was God showing up.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_02: But I never showed up like what you said.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't show up for him.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: I wasn't there.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: I wasn't allowing myself to have that personal one-on-one connection with the Lord.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_02: And it really um hit really deep in my heart, like, oh man, what am I doing, you know, in my own life, you know, as we walk through these journeys and we start facing these strongholds.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: One thing I wanted to ask you about, you started mentioning in the beginning when you're talking about um when you were young and you had a stepfather and he was really good at showing you the financial way of living, but he was he was disconnected from like the emotional part of your life and the spiritual part of your life.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_02: I love that you were able to analyze that there's some pieces to the puzzle missing in your life, that you needed more from a father than, okay, yes, he's gonna go to work.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, he's gonna provide a home over my head, but I need there's something missing.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, a lot of times when we're children, we don't realize that that's missing until we get like much older.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_02: And um I love that you literally brought that point to to the surface because I think that in our generational curses that we we deal with every single day, people think, Oh, I had a really good childhood, I had a really good life.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: But did you have that spiritual connection?
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: Did you have that emotional connection?
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_02: Did you have that that um that fuzzy, warm, you know, love feeling from your family, you know, that that that um that bonding that families are supposed to have, or did you just have the financial protection?
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes we think financial protection is the only protection that we need because you know we're taken care of.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_02: We have our needs met.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: And the enemy loves to play on that role, like really strongly in homes where people are like, well, as long as your finances are being met, that you don't have anything to worry about.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: You it's okay to stay disconnected.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's sometimes why it takes us so long to connect with God, because the enemy tries to make us feel like that's the only comfort that we need.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: We don't need the whole picture, like you said.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm really glad that you brought that to the table.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I can only imagine like being in prison, being accused of something that you didn't do.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, like I said, I worked in the prison and I I talked to several women in the prison working with them in the kitchen.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_02: I'd be in there with, you know, hours with them, teaching them how to cook, and I would hear their stories.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: And some of them were like, Yeah, I did it, I'm guilty.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_02: And others were like, I'm in here for all the wrong reasons, you know, I shouldn't be here.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: So, how did you this is gonna sound like a really weird question, maybe, but were you mad at God for having you be put in jail for something you know that you didn't do, that you knew in your heart you didn't do?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like, God, why would you let me go to jail knowing I didn't do this?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: Why didn't you protect me from that?
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: Did you ever question that?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: Dude, uh great question.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: So um I think my my uh resentment toward God um came in layers because the trauma was layered.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so uh just when I thought that I had gotten over my anger and resentment toward God, but there's another layer that I have not yet seen, because it would it would it would manifest itself in such a way that it's undeniable.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um even uh in leaving prison, um having the the anger and resentment toward him, because now I'm constantly reminded every single day.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I'm constantly reminded when I'm completing an applic application, I'm constantly reminded during the interview process and um receiving uh door slammed after door slam every single time.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so even though that the sentence is over, um from a physical standpoint, the emotional and psychological sentence uh has is now in effect.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so there were times that I was certainly um uh very resentful, um, which was a spiritual holdback for me because now I cannot even properly heal.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot even flourish.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it's nothing more hypocritical, but people do it all the time.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um that you know we can have so much um so much faith for for other for other people, and you can get in the pulpit and you can just preach uh, I mean, just an amazing sermon, yet you don't believe it yourself for yourself.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: Or you have a beef with the God that you're chosen to represent.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, how does that work?
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: So uh it was layers that had to that had to come off, had to identify as being layers and not feel ashamed about it.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think when John the Baptist um before he was beheaded, he was he while he was awaiting execution, he was in prison, mind you.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: He even said to a messenger, is this the coming one speaking to his first cousin?
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus, Yeshua.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Is this the coming one, or should we look for another?
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: That was during a time when they grew up together.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, he saw all of the signs and the miracles.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: He knew that this was, yes, you call him Yeshua, but he's really the Christ, he's really Mashiach.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and so he knew that this was the son of the most high God, yet in a place of trauma, in a space of uh uh of confusion and bondage, even John the Baptist himself said, Are you really the Christ, or we should or should we look for someone else?
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: And how did Christ answer him?
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: He answered him in such a profound, wise, eloquent manner.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: He did not tell him, Yes, I am the Christ, because he didn't want to alert the Romans to the fact that he was the Christ.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: He says, Listen, are not the are not blind eyes open, the deaf can hear, the lame can walk.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: So he's saying, There's your evidence that I am the one.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: So we see throughout scripture that uh that it is it's a part of the human experience um to be to be in a place of destitute, anger, confusion, uh resentment.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I I I I was the poster child for all of that.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: So what made you decide you get out of prison, you're you're facing all these doors being slammed in your face?
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_02: What where did the epiphany happen?
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: Where did the pivotal point take place where you said, you know what?
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm gonna go to school, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna become the founder and CEO of Shame Free, I'm gonna become a life coach, I'm gonna start consulting.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: What was the pivotal point that made you go, this is the calling God actually has on my life?
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: I have something, like you said, the counselor kind of helped you to see a place where you could advocate.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um when did that open up for you?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_02: And you go, this is my moment, this is where I get to go, this is where I'm gonna take this now.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so this is when I I certainly have your permission.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: I know, Mickey, that I can just not that I haven't been before uh uh before, uh, but I could actually just be completely and totally transparent and real.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: It took me 15 to 20 years to get to a place and space that I finally said, Father, I don't understand it.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like it, and if I could do it all over again, I would differently.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I trust you and I want to go all the way with you.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: So 15 to 20 years after incarceration, I'm still um, so to your point, uh once I was released uh in 2004, uh I enrolled immediately in um in Lee University.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh received my undergrad, my bachelor's in uh Christian ministry, pastoral counseling.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: Then uh after that, I went uh to uh to graduate school uh to receive my master's degree in human services counseling, crisis response and trauma, and thereafter received three certifications, one of which is trauma-informed coaching.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: I knew all along the call, I just had to answer.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: But one thing I love about God, even in answering the call, he understands that there's still places that he has yet to touch.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: There's still places that are still on the fence about him.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody is perfect on this planet, nobody is issue free on this planet, but all he has ever needed from me or from anyone is a yes.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: After that, uh listen, we can ride till the wheels fall off.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: All I need is your yes and to partner with me, I will work it out.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's certain things that we can do, but there are many things that he can do, and so he begins to work out, he begins to heal those those fragmented places of my soul, he begins to restore my soul.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, David reminds us in Psalms uh 142 and 7, he says, Bring my soul out of prison that I can praise your name.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I was going through all of the semantics, I was passing tests, quizzes, uh exams, uh writing uh 10, uh uh 15 uh uh page papers.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: I was doing everything that a scholar could possibly do, but I still had a piece in my heart that needed to be healed.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: It was a place of uh of brokenness and resentment.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: Regardless and I I I I have I I still haven't changed my mind my mind about you.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: I still chose you, you're you're you're still my vessel, and I still chose you to help men rebuild their lives.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: So now I'm going to make you the first recipient, you're gonna be your first client, and I'm gonna walk you through it.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: And and that's basically what it did.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: 15 years, 15 to 20 years after the release from prison.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that I mean that kind of makes sense.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um well, I know that God chooses like people in the Bible, and it's like, man, why did they choose, you know, like David and Goliath?
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_02: Why did they choose little David, you know, to be so valiant?
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it's because of his willingness.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_02: You just have to be have the willingness to go.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_02: And one thing I've learned on this podcast is which has really been super touching for me, um, that I've talked with so many people, and it wasn't until they finally came down to the point of surrendering all where God could actually work effectively all through them.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_02: And um, just laying it all down at Jesus' feet.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_02: That's where I had to go.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_02: I had to sit at Jesus' feet myself and just surrender because I was the Martha.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_02: I just stayed busy.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought if I stayed busy, I'd please the Lord in my busyness, you know.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, and I didn't have to try to, you know, get too deep or let him, you know, because I was so emotionally closed off that I didn't want that um personal relationship because I never had a personal relationship with anyone.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_02: My mother, you know, my father, no, nobody, because I just was closed off from a very young age because I wasn't um accepted when I was born, you know.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_02: My dad rejected me, my mom, my mom put me in foster care over and over again.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'd go into foster homes, they would put me in other foster homes, group homes.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, when you get that rejection, you you feel like you can't, you you just close yourself off to that hurt.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you don't want to have it happen to you again.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_02: And but what I've noticed on crushing strongholds is with people that surrender at all, that's when God actually can do the work.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_02: Because what happens if you don't surrender at all, you have those strongholds, the I call them roadblocks.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_02: You're throwing up roadblocks.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_02: He's coming to help you, but you haven't quite surrendered that part of your life.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_02: You only surrendered this part of your life.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_02: So now he's up against the wall, waiting on you again.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: You know, he can't work effectively if we're up against he's up against that wall and you won't let him get through it.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like he says, he stands at the door and he knocks.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_02: Revelations 3.22 or 3.20, 3.22.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, stand here and knock and knock and knock.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_02: You have to let him in.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_02: You have to surrender it all.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_02: You have to open the door.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_02: And if you don't do that, like we still have to do our part in it.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_02: God, it that's why he gave us the free will.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I love that because he gives us the choice to make that decision.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like we can open the door, we can just let him knock forever, you know, if we want.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_02: But we're gonna miss out on so much if we don't just surrender and let God do a work in us mightily.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_02: And he will do a mighty work in us.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_02: So I do have a question for you.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um, why Zion?
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_02: I I know what Zion is, I know where Zion is, I know it's a very sacred place, the city on a hill like it.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_02: Zion is so important.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, why do you call yourself Ronald Zion?
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_02: Is that actually your middle name, or is that actually a name you gave yourself?
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_02: Because I love the name Zion.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so so the backdrop to that, um, while I was uh away in prison, I wrote my first, I penned my first book, Is There a Samson in You?
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: Unpublished but complete.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_00: Along with that, I wrote 150 poems.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um years later, after my release, I connected with the with a poetic community of spoken word poets, and we toured around in various cities.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: We um also um created uh a CD.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh back then it's not long ago, it's been CD.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody has CDs, CD players anymore streaming.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_00: But um, so we we we were a very tight-knit uh uh poetic circle movement, if you will.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so the name Zion was was was uh was birthed from that.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so whenever I would do spoken word poet uh poetry, people would know me by my pen name, which is or poetic name, which is Zion.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, nice, and of course, it has so many uh biblical uh uh nuances that go along with it being Jerusalem, uh a place of peace, but also uh a place that is chosen by God.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was very fitting for me because I like yourself, I never felt that I was chosen, though I was.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I think we are all chosen.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_02: We just um sometimes have to get through the refining process to realize, you know, that's what that's the other thing I like about crushing strongholds because that's that's where we get refined when we go through the crushing.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_02: And um that separation happens, you know, in our lives from all of the all of the strongholds that held us back to where God wants to take us to next.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I believe there's, you know, we as long as we're continue, we continue to be willing to go forward, God's gonna God's gonna guide us all the way.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I know the enemy is gonna try to put roadblocks up every single day because he's such a liar.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_02: The enemy is just, you know, he's at work mightily, especially nowadays.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_02: He's very busy, very, very big.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_02: He knows he he knows his number his days are numbered, so he's gotta keep um keep pushing people.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I I love that you you mentioned confusion because um we all know that that that um God is not that author.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_02: God is not the author of confusion.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_02: We know that confusion always comes from the enemy.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um God is never a confusing vessel, like he is not gonna confuse us in any manner.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I've heard people say, Well, I can't understand, or I I don't understand the Bible.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the enemy, because the enemy wants to keep us from understanding God's word because there's so it's so simple to me when I read it.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_02: And other people go, How did you get that, you know, out of that?
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, you know, I I because I'm not listening to the enemy anymore.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_02: And there are times where I used to be like, oh, I can't read the Bible.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's too difficult, it's too complicated, I don't understand this.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_02: And and there are things I don't know.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there's a lot I do know, but I I know I know what God wants me to know, and I know what God wants to use in me and what he's gonna effectively use in my life when I relate to scripture.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I know that definitely he wants us to keep our eyes alert always for the enemy.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_02: We need to be watchmen and we need to be careful because um we are we're warned that Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we need to be careful.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's in 2 Corinthians, and um and he he's also the deceiver of the whole entire world, you know, in Revelations it talks about that.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that when we're going through these struggles in life, we end up in these dark places, we don't understand why.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um there's many times I sat and asked God why, you know, why, you know, why am I even still here?
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_02: There's many times I should have died in my life and I didn't make bad decisions in my life, you know, and he still loved me.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm like, why would you still love me, you know, with the stuff that I've done?
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I I've shut you out, I've shut the door, I didn't even open the door, you know.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_02: And and so I just love what you're doing, that you're you are taking what has been done to you and utilizing it as a tool or a weapon to basically completely destroy the enemy in what you're doing for the kingdom of heaven.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_02: Because um there's so many men, I believe, that because they didn't have a father, they weren't raised by a father, they, you know, a lot of I know a lot of men that are raised just by their mothers, you know, or sometimes no mother is is in the picture, you know, there's an absent parent.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_02: That's one area, that's just one small area that that puts them on the backlog, you know, and it's interesting how you said you got bullied and and and um how people it seems like when you you don't have that perfect, you know, keeping up with the Joneses lifestyle, there's always gonna be something that somebody picks apart about a person.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_02: And we we all go through that where we are trying to be the best that we can be.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_02: But I always tell people we don't have to keep up with the Joneses, we have to keep up with who God wants us to be.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_02: And if we just do that and stop worrying about everything else, you know, that the world wants us to be, then God's gonna just keep that door open for us.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna flourish, we're gonna shine.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I and I believe honestly, that's what you're doing with your ministry and everything that you are um working through and with and the men that you're helping.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, can you tell our listeners today like a little bit about your program, what you do?
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_02: So if there's somebody listening right now that says, man, this this guy, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I want to get some coaching uh from Ronald, you know, and can you just tell them like what you do, you know, what you like your coaching, um, what your what programs you offer, where they can reach you, how they find you.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_02: Would you mind sharing some of that information with us?
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, absolutely.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for that opportunity.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_00: So um you you can easily go to my website, theshamefreelife.com.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_00: The shamefreelife.com.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you would like to download a free ebook, uh it's there on the home page.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we offer uh group therapy, group counseling, or coaching rather, group group coaching, one-on-one coaching.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_00: But I also have a movement that I established this year this year.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's uh it's entitled Samson Restored, uh, which is uh it it comes from the the book or derives from the book, Is There a Samson in You that I referred to earlier.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so Samson died at age 40, which is very young.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_00: He was called to be a deliverer to deliver Israel from the oppression of the Philistines.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: He never fulfilled his call in that regard.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_00: However, God's grace came in the very nick of time and he killed more Philistines in his death than he did in his life.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_00: But I just always wondered did it really take his death to kill as many Philistines as he could have with his life?
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so Samson restored is basically a community for men, a structured community for men where we can come together regardless of where you are on your journey of life, so that we can turn the page and we can begin to write another chapter.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we find ourselves stuck in the same chapter.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yet we want to get to the end of the book, or we want to get to a much better chapter.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_00: But God has given all of us a pen in our hand.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_00: We just have to have the courage uh to be able to continue to write.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_00: Well, this is where we come in to help you write.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's there's there are many self-help books, but I'll look at this movement as a how-to.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: And there's so many men that just don't know how to get beyond this anger.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: How do I relate to my children or my wife?
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: How can I crush the stronghold of lust that's in my life?
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: How can I crush the stronghold of codependency?
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so, regardless if you are a pastor, if you are a CEO, uh, if you are a warehouse worker, it matters not because we all have a purpose in life.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the purpose can be easily obtained when we obtain our true identity that lies under the rubble of uh of personas.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so um it's basically a movement, uh Samson Restored.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: But again, um everything uh is there uh as it relates to the coaching, the group coaching, one-on-one coaching, Samson Restored, uh, the various books that I have written.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um the vast majority of my purchases are women, um, uh, which is kind of befuddling.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_00: But then again, uh they want to know how we think and what we go through.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_00: They want to be able to identify some of the strongholds uh and some of the things that we don't talk about and why do we suffer in silence?
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because they have uncles, they have uh uh nephews and fathers and husbands or boyfriends.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yes, uh the shamefreelife.com and uh definitely uh just sign up for a free discovery call.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't cost you anything just to see if we are a proper match.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and if so, let's talk about how we can now um regain territory.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but if not, I'll I I can definitely refer you out uh to someone uh to someone else.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_00: The the main focus here is restoring our souls.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_02: That's good.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's really good.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_02: I do have one one more question before we go on to to closing up.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_02: Is um I was I went to your website and I was listening to the the short clip that you have on there about the gal that was asking you about the relationships, why do men go back to you know the wretched women instead of to the women that are good?
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um it I I listened to almost the whole entire thing.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_02: But I wanted to ask you, coming out of prison, having that conviction on you, that false conviction on you, how was it for you to restore that relationship in your life?
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_02: Because you're married now.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so how did that work for you and your wife?
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's I mean, there's got to be some kind of little testimony in there that you don't, I mean, if you don't mind sharing a little bit of that, how how God played that out for you?
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_02: Because I know that I would, I I would assume that women um hearing your testimony might be um a little bit reluctant.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, just even though you're you were falsely convicted, they might still be reluctant to be in a relationship.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_02: Does that make sense?
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_02: So how did that how did that transpire?
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_02: If you don't mind touching base on that.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_00: What did it transpire concerning my wife?
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yeah.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because then you're married and happy and so yeah, uh, so uh I was I was speaking from experience concerning that particular uh video, um, not just by what I've seen as far as my peers, but also what I have personally gone through myself, um uh looking for identity, looking for purpose, looking for peace, all of those things, but trying to find them in the embodiment of women.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, all the while there's an image in your head of the perfect woman.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_00: She's got to check all of these boxes.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the woman she does exist, but the problem is she's only in your head.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so no matter where you go, you will never find this woman to help validate who we truly are, uh, to remove us from the shroud of shame.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, my my wife, I have known her for 17 years.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she is um a phenomenal, um, highly gifted, skillful, intelligent, beautiful woman.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she is a founder of a nonprofit and um visionary as well.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so um uh her mission is to stop recidivism.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_00: So uh we connected through a mutual pastor friend.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_00: At the time, I was uh a church member of his, and uh he wanted me to serve as a liaison between the church and this organization because he believed in the mission and vision statement of helping people to recover.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so um we we met, uh, she shared a vision with me, and and and I came in because uh it was not that long that I have been released myself.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I am gleaning and learning from this organization, and I began to now pivot uh and begin to now grow into other areas uh after being asked and certainly being seen uh for years uh to come in and to teach certain seminars and symposiums, uh to serve as a mentor or recruiter and trainer of uh uh men and women who um need to understand the the challenges uh uh of those who have been formally incarcerated.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so we would go to various churches and other faith-based organizations um with this particular curriculum.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so we have always uh always been on a friendship level.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_00: I had never even seen her uh as being considered a significant other.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so um, lo and behold, uh uh the the the the scales fell off of my eyes, and uh everything that I had always looked for, I know that I needed uh in a woman that would be beneficial for me and and that we could grow together.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_00: Everything I've been looking for was right there in front of me all the time, and so um I um shot my shot, and I was I didn't know what she would say, I had no idea, but there was such an inner witness on the inside of me.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is your wife, she's not your girlfriend, she she she she's not a chick on the side.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_00: She is wife material for you, and it weighed heavily upon me.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_00: I began to pray about it, I got confirmation, I went forward, shot my shot, and um, and here we are, husband and wife.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's a great story.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_02: I absolutely love that because you know, I think that we sometimes we sit and wait, and then sometimes we go on the hunt.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_02: And and God says to sit and wait, but yet we're we're so busy out on the prowl and hunting for our our relationship that we're missing the person that's that's that God has for us all along.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_02: And then we get into those corrupted and bad and horrible relationships because we're too busy on the prowl.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we're we're hunting out the relationship when God's just like, if you just give, just be patient and wait a little longer, I've got the perfect person for you.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so I I was just curious about that after you got out of prison and and you were telling me you were married, um, you know, how that kind of panned out.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I really hope that you and her start a podcast because I think that would be great or at least have an episode and what have you.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I would love to have you both on the show and and come in and talk about, you know, um, your whole organization, everything that you guys are doing, because what you guys are doing, you guys are just doing the work of the kingdom, and I think that's amazing.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_02: So, and what an honor it is to have you got or have you on the show, and it'd be an honor to have both of you on the show as well.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_02: So, in closing today, I just want to say, can you tell our listeners?
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you're a life coach and you're a trauma coach.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I wanted to ask you if you could tell our listeners in in their life, in one area of their life that they're they just feel absolutely stuck.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_02: They just cannot take another step forward.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_02: What information would you give them in taking their first step?
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_02: What would you tell them to do?
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_02: What would you say?
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, start with this.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_02: What would you say?
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, in in the immortal words of C.S.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_00: Lewis, he said, you can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_00: Long ranges don't make it in this life, especially when we have trust issues, uh, abandonment issues, rejection issues.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's very difficult to partner with someone.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_00: But we are all social beings.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_00: We're social beings for a reason uh to create uh not just chemistry, connectivity, um, so that we can move into a place, um a safe place in life that's very healthy and fulfill our purpose.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_00: I would say that if you are stuck, that doesn't define who you are.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_00: What you've gone through, what you've experienced in life, this place that have you in a paralysis, a state of paralysis, that is not your identity.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_00: Your identity is actually the opposite.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so um it is you know, it's very important to just if you can grasp that concept that where you are right now, if you are stuck, don't don't feel ashamed because we've all been there.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_00: But this is not your final abode.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh there's so much of life that you have not yet discovered, there's so much of you that's been completely covered.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_00: And when you align yourself with the reality that this is not normal, this is abnormal, I want more, then you'll start seeing yourself as the greatest investment is not petroleum, it's not gold, silver, titanium, platinum, diamonds.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_00: The greatest investment known to man is you.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're the greatest investment.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's why God gave, that's why God made you, and and and with a purpose and an identity in mind.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes our trauma can help redefine who we are as opposed to us coming to the reality and understanding of who we truly are amid the trauma.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_02: That's really good.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's great advice.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, on that note, I want to say thank you so much again.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like I said, I'm very honored to have you on the show.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, great information.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um, thank you for um being open and transparent, being willing to share your testimony.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_02: I believe that um every testimony helps another person and um it creates a space that feels safe and welcoming instead of just a play that you have to just stay hidden from all the time.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I believe a lot of people that walk um and have testimonies that feel isolated or under the rug, so to speak, when they hear testimonies like yours, it helps them to kind of come out from that shell, basically.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_02: So I just want to say thank you for coming on today and uh to crushing strongholds and sharing your testimony.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_02: I know it's gonna be um impactful and um it definitely was meaningful for me.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_02: I I learned a lot and um which I you know I always try to learn and gain something from each person that comes on because I think that we all have something to offer.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I do believe that God um in God's character, he created us individually.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_02: He did not create us the same.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_02: We are not a cookie-cutter version of a person that um your your testimony is gonna um hit or strike a little differently than someone else's because God gave you a purpose that isn't anybody else's purpose.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_02: And when you share that purpose, it it helps people to realize that their purpose is important, just as important as yours.
• 57:33
  SPEAKER_02: So I love what you said at the end, especially at the end, because it's it's so important that everyone understands that we are equipped and designed uniquely, and God has a great assignment on our life.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_02: And he has already equipped us.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_02: We just have to sometimes have to get over or past or through the stronghold after we tear them down, and then we can get a hold of you and and and we can for men especially start building up brick by brick.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_02: So again, thank you for coming on the show.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_02: It's been a great honor and a pleasure.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_02: Is there anything you'd like to say in closing?
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, thank you so much for having me on Crushing Strongholds because that's what it's about.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_00: We need to crush the stronghold.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_02: And for all of our listeners, again, I want to say thank you for joining us.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for listening in.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you can reach me at crushingstrongholds.com.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_02: I offer a prayer for anyone that needs prayer for anything.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there's just a little section that you go in there, you just put a little note in there.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_02: You don't even have to fill out anything, just put your prayer in there and I'll pray for you if you have a prayer need.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, also offer free clarity calls for um how to crush strongholds if you're up against a wall and facing something that you just can't seem to um tackle on your own or get through.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_02: So again, it's been a wonderful episode.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_02: And Ronald, I thank you.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I hope to have you back on again.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_02: And to my listeners, thank you all for being here.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_02: God bless and take care.