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Wise Choices, Wise Friends: How to Build a Godly Inner Circle · Fostering Faith

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  Welcome to Fostering Faith. I am Tracie. I'm going
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  to be your host and we are in the month of June.
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  We are in the month of wisdom and Proverbs and
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  this week we're going to be talking about wise
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  choices and wise friends and one truth and Proverbs
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  that will shape everyone's entire future. It's
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  this your choices determine your direction and
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  your friendships determining your choices. You
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  show me your friends and I'll show you your future.
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  You show me your daily decisions and I'll show
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  you your destiny. Proverbs isn't a book of cute
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  sayings. It isn't a giant flashing spiritual
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  warning sign. It says be careful who you walk
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  with. Be careful what you choose because it will
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  shape your life. Wisdom doesn't fall on your
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  head. It grows out of choices that you make and
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  people that you let influence you. And this episode
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  is about two of the most life -changing parts
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  of wisdom. Your decisions and your friendships.
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  Because nothing affects your peace, your purpose,
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  your calling, or your spiritual life more than
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  those two things. And so every choice is a seed.
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  God created life with built and instruction.
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  Choices lead to habits, which lead to direction,
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  which leads to destiny. You never just end up
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  someplace. You are led there by your choices.
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  And Proverbs shows us that every choice falls
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  into one of these two buckets. One. Your first
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  bucket. A wise choice. They bring clarity, protection,
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  blessing, stability, peace, favor, strength.
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  Wise choices are usually harder at first. They're
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  quieter. They're slower. They're more intentional.
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  They're less emotional. They're more spiritual.
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  They're more disciplined. But guess what? They
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  produce life. And so look at your choices that
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  you're making today. Is it in this bucket or
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  are they in this other bucket? The foolish choices.
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  They bring stress, regret, chaos, conflict, consequences,
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  instability, wasted time. Foolish choices are
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  usually fast, impulsive, emotionally driven,
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  satisfying in the moment and regretted later.
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  Proverbs 14 15 says the simple believe anything
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  but the prudent give thought to their steps wise
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  people think before they move and fools feel
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  before they think and So oftentimes I'm asked
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  to do something on the fly and I'm like, no I'm
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  not rushing and I'm not calling myself wise But
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  I'm a lot wiser than what I once was and no,
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  I'm not gonna move. I'm not gonna ask hastily
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  I'm gonna sit and pray on it. I need to know
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  an answer. I cannot help you. I need to talk
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  to the guy that knows what my plans for tomorrow
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  is. I don't know what he has planned for me.
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  And this doesn't line up. I have already done
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  screwed up so many times. I am tired of walking
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  in that way. And so I'm gonna sit. I'm gonna
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  counsel the guy that has the answers and he knows
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  what my tomorrow is gonna bring. And so if he
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  has something planned for me, then I'm gonna
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  ask him what I need to do in this situation.
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  So if you need me to act real quick, I'm so sorry.
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  And there are some moments like, so I'm an ICU
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  nurse. So yes, impulsive quick, but I've been
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  trained to do what those situations called for.
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  But in most cases where you don't have to act
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  impulsively, then I will sit and talk and I will
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  seek wise counsel and I'm going to go into prayer
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  about it because he is never going to lead me
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  down the wrong path. And so your love, your enemy
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  loves impulsive decisions. Why? Because impulsive
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  decisions... Bypass prayer and wisdom and counsel.
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  You don't have to do discernment. There's no
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  self -control. And it bypasses scripture. Impulsiveness
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  sounds like I'll deal with the consequences later.
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  Have you guys said that? Oh, it feels right in
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  the moment. Yeah, absolutely. We had this conversation
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  with the teenagers in the car the other day.
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  It feels right for the moment. But that later
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  consequence is going to heap huge consequences.
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  Don't want to think about it right now. How many
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  times have we said that I don't want to think
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  about what's gonna happen later I'm just gonna
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  do it and That leads to where that leads to I'm
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  just gonna go with my emotion. I'm just gonna
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  I'm just gonna do it I'm just gonna go with my
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  emotions I'm just I love him or I love her or
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  this sounds like a really good idea and the king
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  the carrot was really big And so I just went
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  for it But proverb says a wise person fears the
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  Lord and shuns evil but a fool is hot -headed
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  and reckless in 1416 Reckless decisions create
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  preventable pain and wisdom slows down enough
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  to let God speak first. And so a habit of a wise
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  person, they can pre -decide. Wise people don't
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  wait until temptation hits. They make decisions
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  before the moment. They don't text that person.
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  I don't go to that party. I don't date people
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  who don't love Jesus. I don't gossip. I don't
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  apologize quickly. I guard my peace. I don't
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  compromise my standards. I choose God's ways.
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  Even when I don't feel like it. And I go back
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  up there. I apologize quickly. It's not the fact
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  that you don't apologize quickly. You do actually
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  apologize quickly because you don't harbor that
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  hate. You don't harbor those feelings of resentment
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  in our heart. Because if our heart is full of
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  resentment and anger, then there's no place for
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  God's love in there. And so we do apologize quickly.
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  And so friendships are spiritual forming. And
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  so walk with wise and you become wise. And so
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  Proverbs 13 20. Friendships are not casual. They're
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  spiritual. You become who you are around. Conversations
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  shape beliefs and beliefs shape conversations
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  and decisions shape destiny. Every friend is
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  either a ladder or a weight. A wisdom, a voice
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  of wisdom or a voice of foolishness. Someone
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  who sharpens you or someone that dulls you. Proverbs
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  says it plainly, bad company corrupts good character.
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  In 1 Corinthians 5 .13, you cannot outgrow the
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  influence of your inner circle. Think about that.
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  Who is your three? And yes, Jesus had all the
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  people. He had his 12 disciples, but he had his
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  three guys that he went to. Who's your inner
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  circle? Who are those people? Are they speaking
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  wisdom into your life? Are they speaking foolishness
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  into your life? Are they sharpening you? Are
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  they building you up? Are they just like letting
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  you just be so dull and they're not sharpening
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  you? They're not telling you whenever you're
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  wrong or they're not... giving you advice to
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  move further, to move deeper. Are they pulling
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  you away from what God has for you? And so look
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  at your inner circle. It is so important to know
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  that who you are around really will influence
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  you. Oh, I'm just hanging out with Jesus, hanging
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  out with sinners. Absolutely he did, but he didn't
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  let them influence his decisions. And so you
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  want to be brave enough and absolutely we are
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  meant to be disciples and we are meant to be
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  fishers of men and not watchers of the aquarium.
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  But you have to be strong in your faith and you
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  have got to be rooted. And so those that don't
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  know Christ and that are living in a life that
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  is not godly, then we want to make sure that
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  we are rooted and that we're not going to be
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  influenced by their decisions to pull us away
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  from what God has for us. And so there are three
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  types of friends in Proverbs. One. The wise friends.
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  These are the ones that you need. These people
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  love God. Love truth. They challenge you. They
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  pray for you. They speak life over you. They
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  hold you accountable. They celebrate your growth.
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  They don't compare themselves. And they want
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  what God's best is for you. Wise friends will
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  save you from years of regret. Two. The foolish
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  friend. These people should not be potentially
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  your inner three. These people are inconsistent,
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  make impulsive decisions and choices, encourage
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  compromise, avoids responsibility, drains your
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  energy, distracts you from your focus, pulls
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  you off a God's path. You can love foolish people,
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  but you cannot let them lead you. You can. People
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  do. and then end up regretting it later. And
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  three, the wicked influencer. You've got to avoid
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  these people. Look at your life. Take inventory.
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  And so people talk about spring cleaning. Maybe
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  do a spring cleaning of your life, your inventory,
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  the people that you are allowing to speak into
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  your life. And so we talk about this all the
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  time. You have got to guard your gates. You got
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  to guard your ears. You got to guard your eyes.
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  You got to guard your mouth. And asking God for
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  discernment, asking God to remove the people
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  that are not there to serve you, asking God who,
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  hey, give me some more godly friends. Ask him
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  to give you godly friends, absolutely. Ask him
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  to remove the people that he does not want in
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  your life. And so, reasons and seasons and lifetimes,
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  there are people in your life for a reason, there's
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  people in your season, in your life for a season,
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  and you were there to help them or do whatever,
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  but ask God to remove those people that are not
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  meant to be in your life, please. And so, the
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  wicked influence are people that mock God. They
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  love sin. They pressure you spiritually. They
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  manipulate you. They gossip. They create division
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  and they celebrate what destroys you. Proverb
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  warms repeatedly about this. Do not associate
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  with those who give to anger. Do not set foot
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  on the path of the wicked and do not follow the
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  crowd in doing wrong. Everyone else is doing
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  it or everyone else is listening to that. Everyone
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  else is doing this. I don't care. No, I'm not
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  going to follow the crowd. We are set apart.
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  We are not of This earth our citizenship is not
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  of earth. It is in heaven And so we do not follow
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  the crowd in doing what is wrong because it's
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  the thing to do. It's on trend Not because god
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  wants to isolate you because he wants to protect
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  you He put up guardrails for a reason our path
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  is narrow because he is protecting you. He's
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  protecting me you your family He loves you And
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  relationships are either raising you or lowering
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  you ask yourself these questions Who gets the
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  best version of you? Who influences your decisions?
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  Who shapes your standards? Who are you secretly
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  wanting an approval from? Who pushes you closer
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  to God? Who's pulling you into distraction? Who
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  challenges your growth? Who feeds your faith?
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  Who feeds your weaknesses? Your friends are not
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  neutral. They're directional. And wisdom in friendships
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  looks like healthy boundaries. Honesty. Maturity.
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  Consistency. Mutual effort. It takes two for
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  a friendship. It's mutual. Forgiveness. Accountability.
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  Respect. Vulnerability. Shared values. Shared
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  direction. Proverbs 27 -17 says, iron sharpens
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  iron. You cannot sharpen iron with foam. You
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  can't sharpen it with plastic. If your circle
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  is soft, your character will be too. And so how
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  do we choose wise friends? How do we choose people
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  that are what we're gonna look for? You look
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  for their fruit. Look for what they're growing
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  off their tree. Look for their integrity. Look
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  for humility. Look for responsibility. Look for
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  their spiritual hunger. Look for their emotional
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  stability. Are they all over the place? That's
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  probably where you're gonna head up. Look for
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  consistency. Look for accountability. A wise
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  friend? won't be perfect, but they will be growing.
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  And so how do you become a wise friend? It goes
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  both ways. Be the person who listens, apologizes,
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  prays, encourage, gives truth gently, shows up,
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  stays loyal, walks in integrity, grows spiritually,
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  and chooses wisdom even when it's hard. You attract
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  what you are. And so, your reflection questions
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  for this week. And we hope that you guys are
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  utilizing the Fostering Faith Media website.
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  There's workbooks on there. Super plain, Jane,
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  because I hate to waste ink. And so there are
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  just black and white pages. And we are potentially
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  going to be growing a curriculum for our youth
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  at my church. And so those pages will be colorful.
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  But just for simple clarity, they are black and
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  white because I like not wasting ink. And so
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  in your workbook, it says, which friendships
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  in your life are wise. Which ones are pulling
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  me away from God's path? Ask the Holy Spirit.
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  Let him guide you. Who is strengthening you?
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  Who is draining you? Who supports your calling?
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  Who threatens your growth? Who challenges you
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  spiritually? Who encourages your compromise?
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  This may be the most important question of the
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  month. Write one wise choice that you will make
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  this week and one friendship decision, whether
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  it be a boundary, a step back, or a lean in.
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  What will you commit to? Stop hanging out with
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  unhealthy environments. Start responding slower.
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  End toxic cycles. Join that small group. Talk
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  to a mentor. Set boundaries. Apologize to a friend.
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  Stop seeking validation and spend more time with
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  wise people. What could it be? One wise choice
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  can change your direction. One wise friendship
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  can change your destiny. And so we hope that
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  this message encouraged you. Send it to some
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  friends send it to your friend circle and that
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  way you guys are Pruning your friend group you
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  are growing your friend group that you guys are
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  growing the Christ that the way that Christ wants
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  you guys to grow And so sit with this and so
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  if this message encouraged you leave a comment
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  Let's grow in a community together because we
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  are here fostering our faith together. We don't
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  have it all figured out, but we are walking because
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  this is not a sprint. This is a marathon and
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  it's not about progression. It's about it's not
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  about perfection. It's about progression. And
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  so we would love to pray for you guys this week.
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  And so dear Heavenly Father, thank you so much
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  for today. Thank you so much for yesterday. Thank
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  you for these listeners. Thank you that you give
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  us wisdom in our decisions. Thank you that we
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  are growing in wisdom for our friendships. Thank
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  you that you're revealing people to us. to draw
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  us closer to you. Thank you that you're giving
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  us courage to set boundaries where they're needed.
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  Thank you that we are becoming a wise friend
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  who reflects your heart. Thank you that you're
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  leading our steps. Thank you that you're shaping
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  our choices. Thank you that you're surrounding
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  us with the right friendships. Thank you for
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  all that you do. In Jesus name I pray. Amen and
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  amen. Thank you guys so much for tuning in this
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  week. Stay tuned for next week because we are
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  talking about guarding our mouth and mind. Stay
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  tuned and we will see you guys next week. We
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  love you. Bye.