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From FBI to Midlife Health - Crack the Code with Emotional Eating with Holly Bertone · The Trauma Therapist

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, So five, four, three, two and one
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Speaker 1: are folks, welcome back to the podcast. Very excited to
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Speaker 1: have as my guest Holly pertone back. She's back, Holly welcome.
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Speaker 2: Thanks so much guy for having me back, and I'm
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Speaker 2: excited to be here.
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Speaker 1: You are welcome.
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Speaker 3: So.
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Speaker 1: Holly is a former FBI Chief of Staff for Counterintelligence
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Speaker 1: turned certified holistic health coach. She helps women in midlife
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Speaker 1: break free from emotional eating, ditch diet culture, and prioritize
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Speaker 1: their health so their high achievement lifestyle no longer clashes
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Speaker 1: with unwanted weight gain. Holly spent twenty years in project management, consulting,
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Speaker 1: and federal government service. After her own experience of breast cancer,
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Speaker 1: healing herself from an autoimmune disease and creating a no
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Speaker 1: conflict divorce, she learned there's more life than burning the
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Speaker 1: candle both ends and live accordingly, Live according to everyone
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Speaker 1: else's agenda. She's also a keynote speaker and host of
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Speaker 1: Your Midlife come Back Story podcast. She's spoken on Stages
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Speaker 1: and MIT and the Society for Human Resource Management, along
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Speaker 1: with TV features including The Doctor Nandy's Show and CBS Holly.
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Speaker 4: Welcome Back, Oh excited to be here.
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Speaker 1: So before we get going, share with the listeners where
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Speaker 1: you're from originally and where you are currently.
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Speaker 4: Oh my goodness.
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Speaker 2: So I am originally from south central Pennsylvania and I
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Speaker 2: recently moved back. I spent twenty two years in Alexandria, Virginia,
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Speaker 2: and it's where I was working for the FBI and
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Speaker 2: got divorced two years ago, and I'm kind of not
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Speaker 2: in my hometown, but I am back in my home neighborhood.
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Speaker 1: Okay. Look, And then we touched upon this and I
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Speaker 1: got to touch on how do you get in the FBI?
1:42
Speaker 1: How does anyone get into the FBI?
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Speaker 2: It was I actually when I was a senior in
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Speaker 2: high school and I was seventeen years old. It was
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Speaker 2: a dream of mine. And this was before Silence of
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Speaker 2: the Lambs came out, so yeah, so it was it
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Speaker 2: was just a longtime dream. I was a small tongu
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Speaker 2: girl and I was like, how am I ever going
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Speaker 2: to work for the FBI. This was before the Internet.
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Speaker 2: And just through a series of events, I was doing
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Speaker 2: some consulting and nine to eleven happened. I got my
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Speaker 2: security clearance and old an old boss called and said, hey,
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Speaker 2: do you want to come down and work in Quantico,
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Speaker 2: And I was like, I'll be there in forty five minutes.
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Speaker 2: So it was it was amazing. It was a dream
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Speaker 2: come true. I did a lot of post nine to
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Speaker 2: eleven work there and I was in project management, so
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Speaker 2: I was a data nerd. I was not an agent.
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Speaker 2: And then they sent me up to headquarters. This was
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Speaker 2: after the nine to eleven Commission report came out and
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Speaker 2: the WMD Commission report came out. And what I did
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Speaker 2: was I actually took all of the disparate pieces and
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Speaker 2: if you remember that during nine to eleven, none of
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Speaker 2: the agencies were talking to each other, and they also
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Speaker 2: weren't talking internally, and we just didn't have the systems
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Speaker 2: or the communications to do this. So part of what
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Speaker 2: I did in project manage it was to take these
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Speaker 2: disparate pieces and these recommendations from the reports from Congress
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Speaker 2: and put the pieces together. And I guess I did
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Speaker 2: a good job. Because the age of thirty nine, and
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Speaker 2: as a female and as a non agent, which is
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Speaker 2: unheard of, they promoted me into to the GS fifteen
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Speaker 2: Chief of staff slot for the Counterintelligence Program Management Office,
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Speaker 2: which was again just it was amazing. It was.
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Speaker 4: It was such a great opportunity.
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Speaker 1: Bad ass Jesus sounds amazing. It was so okay. So
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Speaker 1: the transition to holistic life, I mean, there's a lot
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Speaker 1: going on here. How do things evolve for you?
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Speaker 3: It was.
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Speaker 2: It was a long journey and I will, I will
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Speaker 2: make it concise. I was diagnosed with breast cancer on
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Speaker 2: my thirty ninth birthday and then I went through all
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Speaker 2: the surgery, surgery, chemo, radiation, and then an autoimmune disease
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Speaker 2: one year later. And you know how when you get
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Speaker 2: some health scares and you're supposed to have a wake
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Speaker 2: up call and make some changes, I actually didn't, and
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Speaker 2: my health just kept getting worse and worse, and until
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Speaker 2: I got to the point where I literally had to
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Speaker 2: resign from my dream job at the FBI, and that
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Speaker 2: was the biggest wake up call. That's when I became
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Speaker 2: a certified holistic health coach. That's when I really started
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Speaker 2: diving into holistic healing and realizing that holistic health is
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Speaker 2: really identical to the work that I did there. And
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Speaker 2: it was just putting these pieces of the puzzle together.
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Speaker 2: When I was a little girl, we had this huge
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Speaker 2: dining room table and I would take three different jigsaw puzzles,
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Speaker 2: thousand pieces, dump them out, mix them up, and put
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Speaker 2: them together. It's exactly right. I told you, Neirdler, I
4:38
Speaker 2: don't have my glasses on, I'd push them off. But yeah,
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Speaker 2: so that's what I did at the FBI. That's what
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Speaker 2: I do as a health coach, right, exactly, That's how
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Speaker 2: I think. But what really happened and what was really
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Speaker 2: the catalyst for what got me focused into more of
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Speaker 2: weight management and emotional eating and especially for women in midlife,
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Speaker 2: was right around that forty nine fifty year mark was
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Speaker 2: when I was I had healed myself. I'm healthy at
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Speaker 2: this point, but what I had learned as a health
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Speaker 2: coach wasn't working. And I felt just really frumpy and flabby,
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Speaker 2: and I hated the way I looked. I was embarrassed
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Speaker 2: about how I looked. And I'm realizing, Okay, things are
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Speaker 2: different in midlife and everything that I was, everything I
5:23
Speaker 2: was taught in school, isn't working. So there's got to
5:26
Speaker 2: be something else. There's got to be something more to it.
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Speaker 2: And that's when I really started diving into okay, what
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Speaker 2: works specifically in midlife, which led me down the rabbit
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Speaker 2: hole of oh, let's start looking at the root cause.
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Speaker 2: And for so many of us, I mean men included,
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Speaker 2: but I worked specifically with midlife women. It's emotional eating
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Speaker 2: and that's where I really liked to put the puzzle
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Speaker 2: pieces together.
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Speaker 1: Okay, a couple things before we dive into that emotional
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Speaker 1: eating piece. You said, you know you didn't have that
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Speaker 1: wake up call when something and I totally resonate with that.
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Speaker 1: And I think a lot of people, do you know, Okay,
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Speaker 1: I'm at rock bottom, surely something's gonna change. I'm gonna
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Speaker 1: Why didn't you change? Why didn't you have that shift?
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Speaker 1: Do you think?
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Speaker 2: I think part of it, and this is just such
6:21
Speaker 2: an insightful question. I think part of it was as
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Speaker 2: a high achiever, I just pushed through it. I mean
6:28
Speaker 2: that's from tiny up to succeed, to always succeed, to
6:33
Speaker 2: not let the obstacles get you down. And I just
6:36
Speaker 2: had always been taught to push through it. It's how
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Speaker 2: I succeeded in my career, It's how I succeeded in life.
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Speaker 2: And I thought that that was what you're supposed to
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Speaker 2: do with your health as well. Is just kind of okay,
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Speaker 2: this is going on. I have all of these symptoms.
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Speaker 2: I can barely function, but I'm just going to keep
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Speaker 2: pushing through. This wasn't exactly the way to do it,
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Speaker 2: and I think so many of us are brought up
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Speaker 2: up with that kind of philosophy that we just need
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Speaker 2: to push through, and we're not taught how to take breaks,
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Speaker 2: how to get in the quiet, how to really honor ourselves.
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Speaker 4: And then I think part of it was just.
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Speaker 2: A lack of education in you know, our traditional medical
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Speaker 2: system I think fails a lot of people in terms of,
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Speaker 2: you know, here's here's your illness, here's your pill. We
7:26
Speaker 2: don't talk about lifestyle factors. We don't talk about nutrition factors.
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Speaker 2: We don't talk about movement exercise, we don't talk about
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Speaker 2: mental health, we don't talk about any of this in
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Speaker 2: the traditional medical system. So not knowing that there were
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Speaker 2: options available, not knowing that I can improve by changing
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Speaker 2: my diet, I can improve by exercising, I can improve
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Speaker 2: by meditation, I can improve by getting better sleep. I
7:49
Speaker 2: can improve by reducing my stress. You know, and this
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Speaker 2: goes for everything in life. You know, These are the
7:54
Speaker 2: these are the fundamentals. This is this is Michael Jordan shooting,
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Speaker 2: you know, the free throws every single day practice like,
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Speaker 2: these are the fundamentals.
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Speaker 1: There was a point when you said I'm going to
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Speaker 1: be a holistic life culture. First of all, what is
8:11
Speaker 1: what does it mean to be holistic? What is holistic health?
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Speaker 2: I think, you know, I think there's a lot of
8:18
Speaker 2: different interpretations.
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Speaker 4: Mind.
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Speaker 2: Specifically, is that I look at the body, mind, and
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Speaker 2: spirit holistically. So rather than you know, just focusing on nutrition,
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Speaker 2: or just focusing on you know, the gut microbiome, or
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Speaker 2: just focusing on one specific aspect of our health, I
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Speaker 2: look at how everything is interconnected, and I'm thinking, you know, like,
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Speaker 2: for example, my client yesterday was talking about not sleeping well,
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Speaker 2: and she's like, okay, well, when I don't sleep, I
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Speaker 2: also realize when I wake up, I don't want to
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Speaker 2: go to the gym, I don't want to exercise because
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Speaker 2: I'm tired. And then I'm also realizing I'm getting a
8:55
Speaker 2: lot of.
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Speaker 4: Cravings during the day.
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Speaker 2: So these are you know, they're all interconnected. So if
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Speaker 2: you just focused on sleep and didn't look at other factors,
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Speaker 2: you're missing a bigger picture. So, you know, and it's
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Speaker 2: more than just I mean, I think from a generalist,
9:09
Speaker 2: specialist perspective.
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Speaker 1: You know.
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Speaker 2: I think it's being able to look at the whole picture,
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Speaker 2: look at the whole body, and look at the body
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Speaker 2: as one big puzzle and saying, Okay, how can we
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Speaker 2: find those clues? How can I help my clients find
9:23
Speaker 2: the clues for themselves? How can I teach them to
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Speaker 2: be able to find the clues for themselves when they're
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Speaker 2: not with me? Right, it's not just me saying here's
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Speaker 2: how to find the clues, it's teaching them how to
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Speaker 2: do it for themselves.
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Speaker 1: And you talked about the emotional eating piece. Let's dive
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Speaker 1: into that more. Why excuse me? You said, you know
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Speaker 1: a lot of your clients were having experiencing emotional eating,
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Speaker 1: But we need to get behind that. What does that mean?
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Speaker 1: Talk to us about that?
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Speaker 2: So I think it's important to I want to address
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Speaker 2: the diet industry before I get into that, because I
9:59
Speaker 2: think it's important to just really set the stage for
10:01
Speaker 2: where we're coming from, because this piece has missed so
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Speaker 2: many times. And when you look at the statistics, according
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Speaker 2: to the CDC, two thirds of women aged forty to
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Speaker 2: sixty in America are clinically overweight or obese. That's a
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Speaker 2: huge statistic. And the other statistic is that ninety two
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Speaker 2: percent of diets fail along with ninety two percent of
10:25
Speaker 2: New Year's resolutions, And I know the tour are absolutely combined.
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Speaker 2: So if you think about it from that perspective, the
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Speaker 2: diet industry, the diet weight loss industry in the United
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Speaker 2: States is seventy to ninety billion dollars industry. So it's
10:43
Speaker 2: a lot of money that this industry produces. Now we
10:48
Speaker 2: have an eight percent success rate. Would you take your
10:52
Speaker 2: car to a mechanic to get your brakes fixed with
10:57
Speaker 2: the mechanic with an eight percent success rate? Right, it's ludicrous.
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Speaker 2: But this diet culture has been ingrained in US. It's
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Speaker 2: calorie and calorie out, calorie and calorie out. You got
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Speaker 2: to eat less and exercise more, and all of a sudden,
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Speaker 2: the weight's just going to magically disappear. And I think
11:14
Speaker 2: they prey on us from multiple perspectives. We get all
11:18
Speaker 2: of the images of these, you know, super fit women,
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Speaker 2: these these images of women that have bodies that are
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Speaker 2: basically impossible to obtain, and most women in life don't
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Speaker 2: want that body. They just want to be healthy, just
11:33
Speaker 2: want to be healthy and normal and fit into their genes, right,
11:35
Speaker 2: just look a little better in their genes, right, So
11:37
Speaker 2: we just want to be healthy and normal looking. And
11:40
Speaker 2: then the other side of that is you have the
11:43
Speaker 2: body positivity movement, and neither is healthy because I was
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Speaker 2: one hundred and fifty pounds, I was one hundred and
11:51
Speaker 2: ten pounds. I got cancer when I was one hundred
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Speaker 2: and ten pounds. Okay, So health is not about the
11:57
Speaker 2: number on this scale. We need to look again, back
11:59
Speaker 2: to whole listic health. We need to look at a
12:01
Speaker 2: lot of different factors. And the diet industry, I think,
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Speaker 2: really just pushes shame, and I think they profit on
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Speaker 2: shame and you know, make us want to feel bad
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Speaker 2: about our bodies and then push this whole diet culture
12:14
Speaker 2: that doesn't work. So that's the stage that we're standing
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Speaker 2: on right now.
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Speaker 1: Just as an aside, the body positivity movement asserts what.
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Speaker 2: Basically and and and I agree with it and I
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Speaker 2: disagree with it right that we should love ourselves regardless
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Speaker 2: of the size that we're in, which.
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Speaker 1: I'm overweight and I'm fine.
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Speaker 2: And I'm fine, right, which I agree with right, Like God,
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Speaker 2: we we are, you know, God, human beings like we
12:42
Speaker 2: we are loved as we are. We need to love
12:45
Speaker 2: ourselves as we are one hundred percent. But we're also
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Speaker 2: missing the fact that, you know, the more we're looking
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Speaker 2: at the scale of of overweight and obesity, we're looking
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Speaker 2: at an increase of metabolic dysfunction, We're looking at an
13:01
Speaker 2: increase of cancer, increase of autoimmune disease, increase of diabetes,
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Speaker 2: increase of heart disease, increase of.
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Speaker 4: Just mortality in general.
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Speaker 2: So we can have this conversation, right, we all need
13:13
Speaker 2: to love ourselves as a child of God, but then
13:15
Speaker 2: we also need to understand that our health impacts our weight.
13:19
Speaker 2: But again, I was one hundred and ten pounds when
13:22
Speaker 2: I got cancer, So I have a very unique perspective
13:25
Speaker 2: on this conversation.
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Speaker 4: You know, I was eating.
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Speaker 2: I was an emotional eater, and I was eating extremely
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Speaker 2: unhealthy when I was one hundred and fifty pounds and
13:33
Speaker 2: when I was one hundred and ten pounds. Right, So
13:36
Speaker 2: again there's more to it than just that, all right,
13:40
Speaker 2: So that.
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Speaker 1: Takes us to understanding we're getting behind the emotional eating aspect.
13:46
Speaker 1: What are we talking about here.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, so let's look at it.
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Speaker 2: I like to think about triggers, and I like to
13:53
Speaker 2: think about triggers like a game of Whack a mole.
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Speaker 2: So let's say, and I liked it, find a trigger
14:01
Speaker 2: as a response. It's a little more extra. That's on
14:05
Speaker 2: top of an unhealed wound. So you know, we have
14:09
Speaker 2: a stimulus and a response, and that response is a
14:12
Speaker 2: little more than it probably should be because it's on
14:14
Speaker 2: top of an unhealed wound. Right, So let's say you
14:19
Speaker 2: you're driving home from work and you get stuck in
14:22
Speaker 2: traffic and you get really mad. So think of a
14:27
Speaker 2: game of whack them. I remember Whack a Mole. The
14:28
Speaker 2: little moles come up with a carnival game. You get
14:30
Speaker 2: out your little hammer and bang, bang, bang, right, So
14:33
Speaker 2: the Whack a Mole comes up, you get stuck in traffic,
14:35
Speaker 2: and you get out your little hanger hammer bang right. Well,
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Speaker 2: is are you Are you having this increased response because
14:44
Speaker 2: you're actually stuck in traffic or is it because your
14:48
Speaker 2: boss yelled at you? Or is it because your boss
14:50
Speaker 2: made you stay late? Or is it because you told
14:54
Speaker 2: your boss you had to leave early, he still made
14:56
Speaker 2: you fail late and you're not feeling heard, right, So
15:02
Speaker 2: there's something going on behind the scenes. But the next
15:05
Speaker 2: thing you know, you're at the drive through at Chick
15:07
Speaker 2: fil A rather than going home and cooking the dinner
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Speaker 2: that you had planned. So that's where emotional eating comes in,
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Speaker 2: is that we are eating in response to that trigger.
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Speaker 2: Whether it's stress, whether it's boredom, whether it's comfort, whether
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Speaker 2: it's just feeling overwhelmed, whether it's feeling like we're not enough,
15:26
Speaker 2: whether it's anger, these big emotions that come up, and
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Speaker 2: we're not hungry, but we're reaching for food for comfort.
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Speaker 1: And we're not and we're not addressing that, right, We're
15:39
Speaker 1: not being we're not aware of that trigger.
15:42
Speaker 2: Right, And the diet industry just goes calorie and calorie out.
15:46
Speaker 2: The weight's going to magically disappear. But what happens when
15:49
Speaker 2: that weight disappears? What happens when the weight comes off?
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Speaker 2: The emotional eating isn't addressed. You take you everywhere you go,
15:58
Speaker 2: so you can lose the weight, you can change your environment,
16:01
Speaker 2: you can throw out all the junk food of your house.
16:04
Speaker 2: But the second that you're at work that something happens,
16:07
Speaker 2: you get that response. You're going to be at the
16:10
Speaker 2: vending machine getting a candy bar. It's going to be automatic.
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Speaker 1: So what do you do with this information? How do
16:17
Speaker 1: you work with people.
16:19
Speaker 4: Yeah, can we get into the Rocky framework.
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Speaker 1: I love the Rocky framework, right, yes, framework.
16:24
Speaker 4: Yes, this is so good.
16:25
Speaker 2: So I named this after the original comeback movie Rocky
16:29
Speaker 2: and it's Rocky. So our is rear view mirror, and
16:33
Speaker 2: that's where we start, and that is really just releasing
16:37
Speaker 2: those emotional triggers. And what I do is I take
16:40
Speaker 2: my clients through a series of exercises. And what we
16:44
Speaker 2: do is we go through an entire history and we
16:47
Speaker 2: look at all of the highs and lows, and then
16:50
Speaker 2: we layer. We go through a series of five or
16:53
Speaker 2: six different layering exercises and we basically pull out. So
16:58
Speaker 2: they are now aware. They're now very aware. And when
17:02
Speaker 2: you're aware, you're able to stop those automatic actions, pause them,
17:11
Speaker 2: evaluate them, and then potentially turn them around.
17:14
Speaker 1: And it takes aware of triggers.
17:16
Speaker 4: You're saying, yeah, aware of the triggers.
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Speaker 2: So when you're aware, I mean that gives you all
17:22
Speaker 2: of the information that you need in the world. Like
17:24
Speaker 2: when you're aware, things can start to happen pretty quickly.
17:27
Speaker 2: And this is I love like my clients to say,
17:29
Speaker 2: I put the fork down, you know, like I ate
17:32
Speaker 2: three cookies. But then I was aware, and I put
17:34
Speaker 2: the cookie down, you know, the cake.
17:38
Speaker 1: The workdown, aware of trigger like what being alone or loneliness.
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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, so it would be okay, I just ate
17:46
Speaker 2: two cookies. So rather than eating the entire box and
17:50
Speaker 2: not even thinking, it's oh, I just ate two cookies.
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Speaker 2: Stop pause, I'm realizing I'm aware that I am physically eating.
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Speaker 4: Cookies on autopilot. What is going on?
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Speaker 2: What am I really feeling? What do I really need?
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Speaker 2: It's not food, it's something else, And then they can
18:07
Speaker 2: name that emotion and then they can take the action.
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Speaker 2: They may still finish the box right depending on where
18:13
Speaker 2: they're at, but that awareness is the trip wire. That
18:18
Speaker 2: awareness is going to stop the action, create that change
18:22
Speaker 2: in the brain.
18:23
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, uh oh oh.
18:27
Speaker 2: Always own your ship with a pee. Own your ship
18:31
Speaker 2: with a pee like a boat. So this is personal responsibility,
18:36
Speaker 2: and this is really important because I think we've lost
18:39
Speaker 2: so much of this and so many times it's I
18:44
Speaker 2: can't do this because my boss may be stay late,
18:47
Speaker 2: or my spouse has me doing this, or you know,
18:51
Speaker 2: my kids doing this.
18:52
Speaker 4: I work with midlife women.
18:53
Speaker 2: A lot of their kids are out of the house,
18:54
Speaker 2: and they're still blaming them, right, So personal responsibility is
18:58
Speaker 2: really big. It's we have these external factors. You know,
19:02
Speaker 2: there's never going to be a day that things get easier.
19:05
Speaker 2: Life is always going to be hard. You knows, there's
19:07
Speaker 2: always going to be the stuff that happens. It's always
19:09
Speaker 2: going to be the obstacles. So it's really about taking
19:12
Speaker 2: that personal responsibility and rather than blaming those internal factors,
19:16
Speaker 2: we're looking inside. We're looking inside of ourself and saying, Okay,
19:20
Speaker 2: how can I step up? What is the one small
19:22
Speaker 2: change that I can make today to take that personal
19:25
Speaker 2: responsibility to move.
19:26
Speaker 4: This needle forward?
19:27
Speaker 1: I love that. Okay, yeah, so.
19:29
Speaker 4: That's ro so C is create your future self.
19:34
Speaker 2: And I love this one because this is really looking
19:38
Speaker 2: beyond where you're at. And I know so many times
19:41
Speaker 2: the fires are big. The fires are big at work,
19:43
Speaker 2: the fires are big at home, and it's like, I
19:45
Speaker 2: don't even have ten seconds to think about my life today,
19:48
Speaker 2: let alone think ten, fifteen, twenty years out. But here's
19:52
Speaker 2: what's important. And I can say this as women guys
19:57
Speaker 2: not so much. But I hate squats, right, I don't personally,
20:01
Speaker 2: but a lot of people say I hate squats. So
20:04
Speaker 2: if you're a woman, you sit down to go to
20:05
Speaker 2: the bathroom, you're going to go to the bathroom eight
20:07
Speaker 2: times a day. So let's say you're fifty years old,
20:09
Speaker 2: you live to eighty five, you're going to be doing
20:11
Speaker 2: squats every single day, eight times a day for thirty
20:14
Speaker 2: five years. That is one hundred thousand squats in your lifetime.
20:17
Speaker 2: So you can say all you want, I hate squats,
20:19
Speaker 2: but at some point you're going to be old and
20:22
Speaker 2: you're going to be having trouble getting up and out,
20:24
Speaker 2: you know, up and down off the toilet. That's an
20:26
Speaker 2: important that's a life skill that you want to have.
20:30
Speaker 2: So when we can start thinking of things like that,
20:33
Speaker 2: like how do I want to live in my retirement?
20:35
Speaker 4: Do I want to be, you know, the.
20:37
Speaker 2: Grandmother that just sits down at our house and doesn't
20:40
Speaker 2: go anywhere, or do I want to be the grandmother
20:42
Speaker 2: that CAUs, hey, we're going to the park. We're gonna
20:43
Speaker 2: go do this, we're gonna do that, We're gonna go
20:45
Speaker 2: on whatever bags are packed. I'm ready to go, right
20:48
Speaker 2: Like I want to be active. I want to I
20:50
Speaker 2: want to be living a long and vibrant life, not
20:54
Speaker 2: just long and eating soggy green green beans, in a
20:58
Speaker 2: nursing home. Right, yeah, so thinking that long term creature.
21:02
Speaker 2: So and then K is keep the vision, not the vew.
21:06
Speaker 2: And this one is important because those daily obstacles are
21:10
Speaker 2: going to happen every single day. I mean it's when
21:14
Speaker 2: I flew to MIT, I was speaking up there and
21:18
Speaker 2: the flight was delayed three hours. So that's a big obstacle.
21:21
Speaker 2: People need to get on a flight to go do something.
21:25
Speaker 2: They went to Dunkin Donuts, They filled themselves with donuts.
21:30
Speaker 2: They screamed and yelled at the attendants, the fight response,
21:34
Speaker 2: and then they went to the bar at eight o'clock
21:37
Speaker 2: in the morning, sat there drinking beer, scrolling their phones.
21:41
Speaker 2: You the freeze response, like it was in watching This
21:44
Speaker 2: was crazy, but it was like these obstacles happened.
21:47
Speaker 4: So it's what do you do when those obstacles.
21:49
Speaker 2: Happen and knowing how to keep that vision and not
21:53
Speaker 2: just focus on the obstacle that's in front of you.
21:55
Speaker 2: And the FBI we called them trip wires. Basically we
21:58
Speaker 2: set up things to help so that when those obstacles happened,
22:02
Speaker 2: like we knew they were coming, almost like a prediction.
22:04
Speaker 2: That's what I help my clients do, Like we we
22:06
Speaker 2: set up these trip wires, you know, so they know
22:08
Speaker 2: things are coming up that they're not going to get
22:12
Speaker 2: spun off and they're not going to go back to
22:14
Speaker 2: their old habits. Because you can do all the right things,
22:16
Speaker 2: you can have the emotional healing, you can eat all
22:19
Speaker 2: the right things. But if you're you know, getting caught
22:22
Speaker 2: off guard and going back to your old habits, like
22:24
Speaker 2: something is still missing, so you need the whole picture.
22:28
Speaker 1: I love this. There's something so very empowering about your message.
22:34
Speaker 1: I just want to remind everyone I'm speaking with Holly Bertone.
22:40
Speaker 1: Are you so? We're used currently an holistic life coach. Yeah, coach,
22:46
Speaker 1: and she's also the host of your Midlife Comeback Story podcast.
22:50
Speaker 1: We'll have that all linked up here at the show
22:52
Speaker 1: notes page at the Trauma Diapis podcast dot com.
22:54
Speaker 3: All right, so we're reviewing your your rocky acronym. We've
22:58
Speaker 3: got oro oc kay we did k which I love.
23:05
Speaker 1: Why?
23:06
Speaker 4: Why is simple?
23:07
Speaker 2: This is you know, the Wizard of Oz like coming
23:09
Speaker 2: back home to you knowing that it's been inside of
23:11
Speaker 2: you all along. And that's really what this is about.
23:14
Speaker 2: And it's more just not just you, but it's how
23:17
Speaker 2: you show up for everyone else and the different ways
23:21
Speaker 2: that they start to treat you and making decisions that
23:25
Speaker 2: you know are best for you. And I mean, and
23:29
Speaker 2: that's really what it's all about, is really standing in
23:32
Speaker 2: your own power. And when you can stand in your
23:34
Speaker 2: own power, you have better boundaries. You actually want to
23:38
Speaker 2: nourish your body with healthy and nutritious food, and you
23:43
Speaker 2: can be a great role model for your kids and
23:45
Speaker 2: your grandkids. And when you're in your power, people flock
23:49
Speaker 2: to that, like I want what she has, you know.
23:52
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm fifty three years old. People look at
23:54
Speaker 2: me and they think I'm in my thirties and I
23:57
Speaker 2: love it. And I'm not saying that to brag, but
23:59
Speaker 2: because I live the life and I take care of
24:01
Speaker 2: myself and I want to be that beacon for everyone.
24:07
Speaker 1: I mean, this is resonating with me too. It's not
24:12
Speaker 1: just women, but you specifically work with women who comes
24:16
Speaker 1: to you, who the women who are intrigued by what
24:20
Speaker 1: you're saying.
24:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know, honestly, it's a version of me
24:25
Speaker 2: that hasn't been healed yet.
24:26
Speaker 4: And I was a huge emotional eater.
24:29
Speaker 2: I was the one I would open up a pint
24:31
Speaker 2: of ice cream and next thing, I know, my spoon
24:34
Speaker 2: scraping the bottom of the container, which, by the way,
24:36
Speaker 2: I have an ice cream story to share with you.
24:39
Speaker 4: But it's basically the woman who's.
24:41
Speaker 2: The overachiever, who's just striving and crushing everything at work,
24:46
Speaker 2: but can't figure out why that all of the success
24:48
Speaker 2: skills that she's doing at work isn't working for her
24:52
Speaker 2: weight right. I mean, she's got all the success and
24:55
Speaker 2: the discipline and the habits and just you know, doing
24:58
Speaker 2: amazing things and excelling in her care, but these same
25:01
Speaker 2: habits and skills aren't working for weight loss. And that's
25:04
Speaker 2: where I like to get into, you know, to the
25:05
Speaker 2: emotional eating eating aspect.
25:07
Speaker 1: There when you just give us a brief idea of
25:12
Speaker 1: how you work with someone they walk into your office,
25:16
Speaker 1: what do you do?
25:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, So my Zoom office everything is virtual, and so
25:21
Speaker 2: I have my programs called back to You, and it's
25:23
Speaker 2: a hybrid. So we have online training programs that they
25:26
Speaker 2: go through and they go through a lot of different
25:28
Speaker 2: exercises basically through the similar the rocky process that I
25:33
Speaker 2: that I take them through with different exercises, and then
25:35
Speaker 2: we have a coaching calls so that we can really
25:38
Speaker 2: unpack what they're working on, and I like to equate
25:43
Speaker 2: the coaching calls. When I played field hockey, we had
25:46
Speaker 2: this thing where you pass the ball to the space
25:50
Speaker 2: and you ran to the space right and and so
25:53
Speaker 2: it's not about passing the ball to where they're at.
25:56
Speaker 2: It's passing the ball to their future self and helping
25:59
Speaker 2: them learn and helping them to develop those skills so
26:03
Speaker 2: that they can get to that place on their room.
26:07
Speaker 1: One of the things I think that why I find
26:10
Speaker 1: this so inspiring is because so many of us gets
26:16
Speaker 1: get caught up in making poor choices with our diet
26:22
Speaker 1: and not taking the extra opening that awareness that you're
26:26
Speaker 1: talking about, being willing to look at what are our triggers.
26:31
Speaker 1: Why is that so difficult for many of us?
26:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, so this is a perfect segue for the ice
26:36
Speaker 2: cream story.
26:36
Speaker 4: This happened to me this weekend. Oh my goodness, guys.
26:39
Speaker 2: So I've been I've been sugar free for probably nine months,
26:43
Speaker 2: and even before then, it was minimal sugar. But I
26:46
Speaker 2: just decided I'm going to go one hundred percent sugar free.
26:48
Speaker 2: It was just a personal choice. I don't force this
26:50
Speaker 2: on anyone. It's just a personal choice. And I was
26:53
Speaker 2: actually filming on Instagram. So I was filming some upcoming
26:57
Speaker 2: reels and I was kind of doing a mock on
27:00
Speaker 2: the diet industry. So I had a bunch of carrot
27:03
Speaker 2: sticks and I had a half gallon of vanilla ice cream.
27:07
Speaker 2: And I don't eat ice cream anymore. I used ice
27:09
Speaker 2: cream was my kryptonite. Like I was the ice cream girl.
27:13
Speaker 2: I was really.
27:14
Speaker 4: Addicted to ice cream.
27:16
Speaker 2: So just as a joke, I took the carrot stick
27:19
Speaker 2: and I kind of dipped it into the ice cream.
27:21
Speaker 2: And I'm filming this reel for Instagram, and I took
27:24
Speaker 2: a bite of it. I literally had one bite.
27:26
Speaker 4: Of ice cream. That was it.
27:27
Speaker 2: One byte on a carrot which was kind of funny.
27:30
Speaker 2: One bite of ice cream.
27:31
Speaker 4: Guy. I put the ice cream in the freezer all
27:36
Speaker 4: day long.
27:38
Speaker 2: It was obsessive. All I could think about was that
27:42
Speaker 2: ice cream in the freezer. Now, I know I'm in
27:45
Speaker 2: a better place. I mean, I didn't even open the freezer.
27:48
Speaker 2: I didn't even you know, like I know that the
27:50
Speaker 2: way I feel now is not worth eating ice cream
27:53
Speaker 2: for me personally, But that's all I could think about.
27:57
Speaker 2: That's how addicting this is. One bite and that sugar.
28:02
Speaker 2: That ice cream lit up those centers in my brain.
28:06
Speaker 2: It is all I could think about. And I was like,
28:08
Speaker 2: and this is how strong these addictions can be. And we,
28:13
Speaker 2: you know, I think, especially when it comes to food,
28:15
Speaker 2: sometimes we kind of poo poo it, like, oh, you
28:18
Speaker 2: just need more discipline or you just need more mopower. No,
28:20
Speaker 2: this is strong, this is overpowering. As a health coach,
28:23
Speaker 2: who is who is on the other side of this,
28:25
Speaker 2: who helps other women, I got caught in it. I
28:28
Speaker 2: didn't succumb to it. I didn't need the ice cream,
28:31
Speaker 2: but I recognized how powerful that was. And that's why
28:36
Speaker 2: I do what I do because this is so strong.
28:39
Speaker 2: And I mean for women that are struggling with us,
28:42
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, we can break these addictions, but it
28:46
Speaker 2: might be something that they just have to deal with
28:48
Speaker 2: and learn to live with for the rest of their life.
28:52
Speaker 1: All right. So for our listeners who are super intrigued
28:56
Speaker 1: and inspired by you and I want to think about
29:00
Speaker 1: consider working with you, what are their options?
29:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, So the best place is to reach out at
29:07
Speaker 2: your Midlife Comeback Story podcast. So as you're listening to
29:10
Speaker 2: this podcast on this platform, just go search for your
29:13
Speaker 2: midlife Comeback story. Probably one of the best episodes, if
29:16
Speaker 2: you want to search, is episode one thirty six and
29:19
Speaker 2: it's called Uncover your Weight Loss Blocks using FBI Tactics,
29:24
Speaker 2: so it's kind of fun, it's got a little FBI
29:26
Speaker 2: spin to it. And the other great place is just
29:29
Speaker 2: say hello on Instagram at Holly dot bertone, So say hello,
29:33
Speaker 2: I answer my DMS and I also have a free
29:35
Speaker 2: quiz on Instagram as well that you can take.
29:37
Speaker 4: And on the other side of.
29:39
Speaker 2: That free quiz there you get your personality and there's
29:42
Speaker 2: a fifteen minute training attached to it to actually get
29:45
Speaker 2: we do a total deep dive into what's actually sabotaging
29:48
Speaker 2: your weight loss.
29:49
Speaker 1: And do you offer individual as well as online coaching or.
29:53
Speaker 4: What Everything's with a group program?
29:56
Speaker 1: Everything's with a group Okay, awesome, Holly awesome. We'll have
30:01
Speaker 1: everything linked up here at the show notes page at
30:02
Speaker 1: the Trauma Therevers podcast dot com, as well as your
30:05
Speaker 1: podcast and your Instagram. Super super happy to have you
30:09
Speaker 1: back here. You welcome back anytime.
30:11
Speaker 4: Oh thanks so much for having me. I appreciate it.
30:13
Speaker 1: All right, take care