Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Dr. Judith Joseph Talks 'High Functioning,' Hidden Depression, Burnout, Achieving Joy +More

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INTERVIEW: Dr. Judith Joseph Talks 'High Functioning,' Hidden Depression, Burnout, Achieving Joy +More · The Breakfast Club

0:00
Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.
0:02
Speaker 2: The Breakfast Club Morning, everybody is dj n V Jess Hilarious,
0:08
Speaker 2: Charlamage the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We got
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Speaker 2: a special guest in the building. Yes, indeed we have to.
0:12
Speaker 2: We have doctor Judith Joseph.
0:14
Speaker 3: Welcome, Thank you so great to be here. Yes, Happy
0:18
Speaker 3: Mental Health Awareness Month.
0:20
Speaker 2: Do you have a new book out now called high
0:22
Speaker 2: Functioning Overcome your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy?
0:26
Speaker 1: What does hidden depression look like?
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Speaker 3: Ooh, so hidden depression is not like the typical depression.
0:31
Speaker 3: When people think of depression, they think is someone crying?
0:33
Speaker 4: I get out of bed?
0:34
Speaker 3: But hidden depression hides behind a mask of pathologically being
0:39
Speaker 3: pathologically productive. So imagine you know a single mom working
0:44
Speaker 3: to take care of her kids, working at her job,
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Speaker 3: and she cannot sow down. People depend on her, So
0:50
Speaker 3: what does she do. She shows up to work with
0:52
Speaker 3: a smile on her face. She's showing up for others,
0:54
Speaker 3: but she feels no joy. And it's something called anne hendonia.
0:58
Speaker 3: It's a scientific term that I study in live People
1:00
Speaker 3: don't even know it exists. So hidden depression doesn't necessarily
1:04
Speaker 3: look sad, but it doesn't feel joy.
1:06
Speaker 4: It feels empty, and.
1:09
Speaker 5: I actually, I have a friend who just experienced that, right,
1:14
Speaker 5: And he called me with like like he had just
1:17
Speaker 5: hit the lottery. Though it was so it was it
1:20
Speaker 5: was unusual. I don't like to say weird.
1:22
Speaker 4: It's so unusual.
1:23
Speaker 5: He called me and say, yo, I just figured something out.
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Speaker 5: I'm like what He was like, I've been depressed all
1:27
Speaker 5: this time.
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Speaker 1: I'm depressed.
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Speaker 5: And I'm like, why you why why you you want
1:31
Speaker 5: a stay or a cookie?
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Speaker 4: Like why are you so excited about it? Like this
1:34
Speaker 4: is not good news?
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Speaker 5: He was like, no, no, na, like I'm not suicidal
1:37
Speaker 5: or anything. I've just been burying myself in my work
1:41
Speaker 5: and I am the most productive, but I'm not happy.
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Speaker 5: My wife she gets no attention from me. I'm not
1:47
Speaker 5: like mentally there for my kids. And I just found out.
1:50
Speaker 5: I was talking to my therapist and we you know,
1:52
Speaker 5: and he got he was diagnosed and he has uh
1:55
Speaker 5: he he's depressed. And it was so crazy because I
2:00
Speaker 5: wh when you think of depression, you know, you think
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Speaker 5: of you know, the suicidal thoughts and you say, damn,
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Speaker 5: you can't get out of bed.
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Speaker 4: He was the opposite, but he was still depressed. So
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Speaker 4: I just I just found that out.
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Speaker 3: Wow. Yeah, you know why he was happy. It was
2:13
Speaker 3: because there's a term in psychology called affect labeling. When
2:16
Speaker 3: you know what you're dealing with, the uncertainty of not
2:19
Speaker 3: knowing how you feel just makes you feel so stressed.
2:22
Speaker 3: You feel like, Okay, maybe there's something wrong with me,
2:24
Speaker 3: what I have to complain about. Maybe it's my fault.
2:27
Speaker 3: But when someone tells you no, what you're experiencing is
2:29
Speaker 3: a hadonia, it's actually a scientific symptom. Many people struggle
2:33
Speaker 3: with it. Then you feel as if, Okay, it's not
2:36
Speaker 3: my fault. There's a term for this. I know what
2:38
Speaker 3: I'm working with hare so I can do something about it.
2:41
Speaker 3: And as human beings, our birthright is joy. Like joy
2:44
Speaker 3: is literally built into our DNA, and if we can't
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Speaker 3: access that joy, that's a problem. So just because someone's
2:50
Speaker 3: not getting out, not you know, in bed and crying
2:53
Speaker 3: all day, doesn't mean that it's not a problem. We
2:54
Speaker 3: have to address this lack of joy.
2:56
Speaker 1: How do you get out of it? Right?
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Speaker 2: So, let's say you work with somebody who bullies you
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Speaker 2: all the time, says you're Spanish when you're black. You
3:05
Speaker 2: know somebody who has a bad wig and you have
3:07
Speaker 2: to see it all the time. How do you get
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Speaker 2: out of that place of working with them? Because you
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Speaker 2: got to go to work looking at me like that.
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Speaker 1: You gotta make money, So how do you get out
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Speaker 1: of that? Because the people that don't want to work
3:22
Speaker 1: with how do you get out of that?
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Speaker 3: But you know what he's doing right now, He's accessing joy,
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Speaker 3: being playful, being comical. He is finding a way through
3:30
Speaker 3: a difficult situation by accessing joy.
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Speaker 1: Right.
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Speaker 3: But many of us just go to work and.
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Speaker 1: We do serious.
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Speaker 2: If you work with somebody that you don't like, but
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Speaker 2: you still need to get money. I'm not talking about
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Speaker 2: Sheelamane or just a Lauren, but when people that you
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Speaker 2: know don't like their job. But how do you continue
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Speaker 2: to go through that? Because you still need money? You
3:47
Speaker 2: still got to pay for the food on the table,
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Speaker 2: You still gotta pay for rent, you still gotta pay
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Speaker 2: for your car, you still gotta pay.
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Speaker 1: For your kids. How do you get through that? What
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Speaker 1: do you tell people to do?
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Speaker 3: There's actually a term in my book called the biopsychosocial model. Right,
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Speaker 3: So what you're talking about and what you so eloquently said,
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Speaker 3: it's actually a model used by every single medical student
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Speaker 3: in the world. Right, the biopsychosocial is like a fingerprint.
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Speaker 3: We all have our fingerprints, but it's all unique. So
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Speaker 3: we each have a biopsychosocial. So, for example, the person
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Speaker 3: you're talking about, the biopsychosocial for that person, socially, what's
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Speaker 3: happening is that they're in this stressful situation. They're not supported,
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Speaker 3: they're actually being you know, there's microaggressions, maybe macroaggressions at work,
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Speaker 3: but that's just one part of why they're no longer happy.
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Speaker 3: It's one of the things that's draining the science of
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Speaker 3: their happiness.
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Speaker 4: Right.
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Speaker 3: The other parts of that model are the biological. So
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Speaker 3: maybe this person also has a medical condition like I
4:34
Speaker 3: don't know, diabetes, or psychologically they have past trauma. So
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Speaker 3: all of those things play into what's taking away from
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Speaker 3: their points of joy. So understanding where the stressors are
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Speaker 3: and what's causing you to be unhappy is important.
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Speaker 4: But even within.
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Speaker 3: Stressful situations, because I've traveled the world over thirty countries
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Speaker 3: looking at joy, even when people don't have running water,
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Speaker 3: even when they're in war zones, they can still access.
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Speaker 2: Joy, something that makes you happy.
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Speaker 1: With those of decisue.
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Speaker 3: Because joy is a survival technique. We have to access
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Speaker 3: joy in order to survive, not just to thrive, but
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Speaker 3: to survive. So you can find ways at work to
5:10
Speaker 3: connect with someone else. Maybe someone else is going through
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Speaker 3: it with you, so you're sharing your venting. You know,
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Speaker 3: maybe you can use a candle at work or something
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Speaker 3: fragrant to stimulate the senses, or make sure that you're
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Speaker 3: leaving work and having lunch like a human being instead
5:24
Speaker 3: of being in front of a screen. Right, there are
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Speaker 3: things ways that you can access joy because it's a
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Speaker 3: survival technique.
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Speaker 6: I believe that. I believe joy is survival technique. We
5:30
Speaker 6: actually had liz on we were talking about that. But
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Speaker 6: I also feel like some people fake happy and they
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Speaker 6: fake joy, So what does the real joy look like?
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Speaker 3: That's why I say, understand the science of your happiness.
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Speaker 3: There's only one Leonard, There's only one Judith, you know,
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Speaker 3: ever in the history of the universe, in the future.
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Speaker 3: So what is it about you that makes you joyful?
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Speaker 3: And in my research lab, when we're studying joy, we're
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Speaker 3: actually adding up points. For example, if you took a
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Speaker 3: rest and you woke up, did you feel refreshed? That's
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Speaker 3: a point if you were hungry and you savored your meal,
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Speaker 3: that's a point. If you were lonely you connected with someone,
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Speaker 3: that's a point. But the rest of the world is
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Speaker 3: so busy chasing this idea of happy. Right, I will
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Speaker 3: be happy when I get the perfect partner. I'll be
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Speaker 3: happy when a pay up on debt, I'll be happy
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Speaker 3: when I have a house. The science shows us that
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Speaker 3: even when those things happen, we're still not happy. So
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Speaker 3: we have to access the points of joy that really
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Speaker 3: feed into our unique sense of happiness. For me, it's connection.
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Speaker 3: If I'm busy, if I'm speaking at places, if I'm
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Speaker 3: on TV all the time and I'm not connecting with
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Speaker 3: my family, I'm gonna be unhappy. But for you it
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Speaker 3: could be something else.
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Speaker 6: What are the signs of hidden depression and high functioning depression.
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Speaker 3: Yes, so many people confuse high function depression with burnout.
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Speaker 3: The difference is that, you know, for burnout, let's say
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Speaker 3: you go to a party and you say I'm burnt out,
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Speaker 3: people are like, oh, me too, me three right. But
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Speaker 3: if you walk into a party and you say I'm depressed,
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Speaker 3: people are like, oh, you should do something about that, right,
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Speaker 3: Like like your friend right.
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Speaker 4: Living.
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Speaker 3: So when you think about burnout, right, burnout by definition
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Speaker 3: is an occupational hazard when though who the World Health
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Speaker 3: Organization classified it, it's the workplace causing the symptoms. So technically,
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Speaker 3: you take the person out of the workplace, they should
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Speaker 3: get better. With high functioning folks, even when you take
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Speaker 3: them out of the workplace, they're not better. What are
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Speaker 3: they doing. They're busying themselves on a side hustler too.
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Speaker 3: They're taking on somebody's problems. They can't sit still, they're
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Speaker 3: cleaning out their house or the garage, right, because it's
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Speaker 3: not the workplace. It's not something on the outside, it's
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Speaker 3: something inside that's unresolved. So this hidden trauma, this unresolved pain.
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Speaker 3: So they're trying to outrun it by busying themselves. So
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Speaker 3: when they sit still, they feel empty. When they're not working,
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Speaker 3: they feel restless.
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Speaker 2: Let me ask you a question. I feel like and
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Speaker 2: this is a good thing, but I also feel like
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Speaker 2: it's a bad thing. I feel like in the last
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Speaker 2: ten years, so many people have been talking about all
7:55
Speaker 2: these mental health issues and terms. Does it Sometimes I
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Speaker 2: feel like it's an overload because it's like, you know,
8:03
Speaker 2: you get a pain, right, you google it and it
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Speaker 2: is thirty things that's wrong with you.
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Speaker 1: Now you're even more confused.
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Speaker 2: Right, is that the same thing with a lot of
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Speaker 2: sometimes with a lot of these terms, like when you
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Speaker 2: hear certain things, is now I'm depressed, Now I'm a
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Speaker 2: high function in depressed. Now I have anxiety. Now I
8:18
Speaker 2: have this like do you feel like it's too much
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Speaker 2: for people? And how can people really break that all
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Speaker 2: down and realize what they really have and which really
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Speaker 2: bought them because everything sounds the same at sometimes.
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Speaker 3: I mean, it's a great question. But the term effect
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Speaker 3: labeling in psychology shows us that when you can name
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Speaker 3: it appropriately right, it decreases the anxiety. Think about if
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Speaker 3: you were in a room you know it's pitch black,
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Speaker 3: and you heard a loud crash. Some of us would
8:41
Speaker 3: start swinging, someone start screaming, someone start running. But if
8:43
Speaker 3: you turn that light on and you saw what it was,
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Speaker 3: a osfel or some inotimant object, you feel relaxed. Why
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Speaker 3: Because you know what you're doing, you know what it is.
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Speaker 1: Right.
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Speaker 3: It's the not knowing and not naming appropriately that creates
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Speaker 3: a lot of anxiety. So people end up just drinking
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Speaker 3: a lot right to soothe that thing because they don't
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Speaker 3: know what it is, or they end up gambling or
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Speaker 3: spending a lot of money or doing things busying themselves
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Speaker 3: to outrun this pain they don't understand.
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Speaker 6: And it's interesting too because you know, I think what
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Speaker 6: is speaking to to me anyway is the fact that
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Speaker 6: there was a time when nobody used to talk about
9:13
Speaker 6: their mental health issues. So we went from saying we
9:16
Speaker 6: don't speak about this at all. In order to eradicate
9:19
Speaker 6: the stigma, we got to tell our story. So now
9:21
Speaker 6: people are not just going out there to get help
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Speaker 6: and understanding what they're dealing with.
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Speaker 1: They're telling their stories.
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Speaker 3: They're telling their story. But still the older generations are
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Speaker 3: not as open, right, the younger ones they want to
9:31
Speaker 3: talk about it. They want to feel seen, they want
9:34
Speaker 3: to feel connected, and many of them do sometimes inappropriately
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Speaker 3: use a label to connect. Right, But there's still a
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Speaker 3: lot of stigma. You know, the places I go, the
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Speaker 3: corporations I go to, it's still more accepted to say
9:45
Speaker 3: burnt out than depressed. But we have to name what
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Speaker 3: it is because the supports are going to look very different,
9:50
Speaker 3: the resources look very different.
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Speaker 6: Now, how do you know the different between somebody who's
9:54
Speaker 6: staying busy as a response to trauma to somebody who's
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Speaker 6: actually really.
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Speaker 3: Busy, yes, great question. It's antedonia. You know, when you
10:01
Speaker 3: ask someone who's busy but they're actually pathologically productive, they're
10:06
Speaker 3: not getting joy. You know. They end up at my
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Speaker 3: office in Manhattan and they're like, I don't know what's wrong.
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Speaker 3: Everything looks good on the outside, but I just don't
10:13
Speaker 3: feel joyful. Whereas someone who's actually engaged in what they're doing,
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Speaker 3: they got the pep in their step. They're engaged and
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Speaker 3: they're connected, and they're feeling as if they're getting a
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Speaker 3: sense of purpose Versus when you keep doing over time
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Speaker 3: without actually tapping into purpose, you do feel numb. You're like,
10:29
Speaker 3: why am I doing this? But you cannot stop because
10:31
Speaker 3: you're trying to outrun something that you don't even know
10:34
Speaker 3: is there.
10:35
Speaker 1: Now.
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Speaker 2: You talked about, you know, working and being at rest,
10:38
Speaker 2: So how do you know when you're at rest and
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Speaker 2: being okay with being at rest.
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Speaker 3: One of the points of joy that we measure in
10:44
Speaker 3: my research lab is actually that it's called psychomorgoric at agitation.
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Speaker 3: It's a terrible scientific term, but what it means is
10:51
Speaker 3: that you can't sit still. You just on edge. And
10:54
Speaker 3: when you add a points of joy, being able to
10:56
Speaker 3: be calm and not stressed is actually a point that
10:59
Speaker 3: many many of us leave on the table. We often think, oh,
11:02
Speaker 3: that's anxiety and not depression. But no, it's almost like
11:05
Speaker 3: a different side of the same coin. Right, You can't
11:07
Speaker 3: be joyful if you're stressed. Do you know anyone who's
11:10
Speaker 3: been really stressed out who is like also joyful? No? Then,
11:13
Speaker 3: and look at the monks and other countries and the gurus.
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Speaker 3: They may have just a mat to sleep on and
11:18
Speaker 3: bread and water, but they are joyful because they're at peace.
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Speaker 3: So if you're not feeling that sense of peace and
11:24
Speaker 3: you have that inner restlessness, it's really difficult to be joyful.
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Speaker 2: What does everybody's piece the same piece?
11:29
Speaker 1: Though?
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Speaker 3: It's not? And that's why I said to understand the
11:31
Speaker 3: science of your happiness. In my book, I actually have
11:34
Speaker 3: that model so that I democratize this information. Why are
11:37
Speaker 3: just the doctors and medical students holding onto this. Every
11:40
Speaker 3: patient that comes to my lab draws their own biopsychosocial right,
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Speaker 3: So you want to figure out what are the things
11:46
Speaker 3: that are taking away from my happiness?
11:47
Speaker 4: Right?
11:47
Speaker 3: If you don't understand what's taking away their points of joy.
11:50
Speaker 3: How can you understand the science of your happiness? So
11:52
Speaker 3: in some cases, you're going to look at the social factors, Right,
11:55
Speaker 3: someone who is partner with somebody who's toxic. I mean,
11:58
Speaker 3: they could eat all the care they want, They're still
12:00
Speaker 3: going to be unhappy, right, Versus somebody who, let's say
12:03
Speaker 3: psychologically they dealt with a lot of trauma in their childhood, neglected, abused.
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Speaker 3: We need to address that first because it's really hard
12:11
Speaker 3: to act as story when you're in fight or flight.
12:13
Speaker 3: And then biologically, let's say, if someone who has an
12:15
Speaker 3: autoimmune condition, right, if you're constantly in a state of
12:17
Speaker 3: high inflammation, your brain's not going to be happy. So
12:20
Speaker 3: everyone's so unique, but we're chasing things that work for
12:23
Speaker 3: other people without understanding our own science.
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Speaker 5: And going back to what you said just a minute ago,
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Speaker 5: when you were saying, people bury themselves in work and
12:31
Speaker 5: they have to be doing something all the time.
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Speaker 4: They're always at their busiest. How do you I don't know,
12:37
Speaker 4: how did I see?
12:38
Speaker 1: Like?
12:38
Speaker 4: How are you supposed to feel when you do nothing? Yes? Like,
12:41
Speaker 4: how are you know what I'm saying? Like, how are
12:43
Speaker 4: you supposed to feel? And you just do nothing.
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Speaker 3: My clients ask me that all the time, because high
12:49
Speaker 3: functioning folks have something called all or nothing thinking. When
12:52
Speaker 3: you tell them that you need to slow down, they're like, well,
12:54
Speaker 3: I can't stop, and I'm like, hold on a second. Stopping
12:57
Speaker 3: is not equivalent to slowing down. But their role, their
13:00
Speaker 3: sense of their worth is so tied closely to what
13:03
Speaker 3: they do. They feel like without their role, they are unlovable,
13:07
Speaker 3: that they are lazy. Yeah, right, So we have to
13:09
Speaker 3: challenge a lot of that. And in the PTSD, the
13:12
Speaker 3: post traumatic stress research that I do with combat veterans,
13:15
Speaker 3: what we see is that, you know, people who are
13:18
Speaker 3: triggered by things like let's say a situation, a person,
13:22
Speaker 3: a place, you know, they avoid those things, right, But
13:25
Speaker 3: those of us who are pathologically productive with high function depression,
13:29
Speaker 3: we avoid dealing with the pain by working. So a
13:31
Speaker 3: lot of it is unpacking what are you running from? Right?
13:34
Speaker 3: You think you're chasing this gold is happiness, but what
13:36
Speaker 3: are you actually running from?
13:38
Speaker 4: Right?
13:39
Speaker 3: And the trauma response of I don't feel worthy without
13:42
Speaker 3: my role, you know, that is exactly it. They don't
13:44
Speaker 3: even realize it's tied to some past unprocessed pain. So
13:48
Speaker 3: a lot of times we spend going back in the past.
13:50
Speaker 3: I'll ask them to, you know, open up their phones
13:53
Speaker 3: or bring in old pictures so we can trace back
13:55
Speaker 3: to a time when they actually were feeling purposeful and
13:59
Speaker 3: tapping into joy, and we try to figure out and
14:02
Speaker 3: unpack what was that trauma. And then we spend a
14:04
Speaker 3: lot of time in grounding.
14:05
Speaker 1: Right.
14:06
Speaker 3: Grounding techniques help you to calm that fight or flight
14:09
Speaker 3: because that busyness is you trying to outrun this past.
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Speaker 4: Right.
14:13
Speaker 3: So it doesn't like flashback, it doesn't like nightmares, but
14:15
Speaker 3: it's this busyness because you're trying to outrun your in
14:17
Speaker 3: fight or flight. But we spend a lot of time
14:19
Speaker 3: with grounding, and I talk about the techniques of my book,
14:22
Speaker 3: so they feel at ease when they sit still.
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Speaker 6: We're talking to doctor Joseph Judith Joseph Us. She has
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Speaker 6: a new book out, High Functioning, Overcome your Hidden Depression
14:30
Speaker 6: and Reclaim Your Joy.
14:30
Speaker 5: Which you gonna say, just uh, what you like live
14:35
Speaker 5: here in Manhattan.
14:36
Speaker 4: You can't ground out there actually can.
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Speaker 3: Great question, you know, I actually talk. That's a good one.
14:44
Speaker 3: And I taught this course, the same one I'm teaching
14:46
Speaker 3: about at the White House.
14:47
Speaker 4: Right.
14:48
Speaker 3: Talk about people who are in high stress situations at work.
14:51
Speaker 4: Right.
14:52
Speaker 3: I taught them how they can actually ground at their desk.
14:55
Speaker 3: And there's a technique called the five four three two one.
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Speaker 4: Right.
14:59
Speaker 3: You can do it with a beverage.
15:01
Speaker 4: Like a coffee or a tea.
15:02
Speaker 3: But what you do is you sit and for five
15:05
Speaker 3: minutes every day you practice this, you hold onto that
15:07
Speaker 3: tee and you list five things you can see, so
15:10
Speaker 3: you describe the cup, describe the liquid, You describe your hand,
15:14
Speaker 3: the table, like you're really describing. Five things that you see,
15:17
Speaker 3: the color. Four things that you feel, so you feel
15:20
Speaker 3: the cup, you feel the warmth, you feel the chair,
15:23
Speaker 3: You feel the ground under your feet. Three things that
15:26
Speaker 3: you can hear, so you may hear some wind outside,
15:28
Speaker 3: you may hear music, you may hear the sound of
15:29
Speaker 3: the beverage. Two things that you can smell. You smell
15:32
Speaker 3: the fragrances in the cup and on you. One thing
15:35
Speaker 3: you can taste, you sip it. If you're doing five
15:37
Speaker 3: for three two one in that way, you're not thinking
15:39
Speaker 3: about your past pay, you're not getting trigger, you're not
15:41
Speaker 3: thinking about you know what's happening around you. You're so
15:44
Speaker 3: present and you're teaching your brain that you have the
15:46
Speaker 3: capacity to sit still and to be present, because when
15:50
Speaker 3: we don't process that fight or flight, we feel disconnected
15:52
Speaker 3: from our bodies. But the grounding techniques allows us to
15:55
Speaker 3: sit still and just do nothing.
15:58
Speaker 2: You need to rest to find be.
16:00
Speaker 3: I think so it's one of the points of joy,
16:03
Speaker 3: you know. Excuse me, it's really difficult to access joy
16:08
Speaker 3: when you are restless. It's really difficult to access that
16:12
Speaker 3: feeling of happiness and pleasure when you have when you're
16:15
Speaker 3: in fight or flight. Right, So it's important to practice
16:18
Speaker 3: these peaceful methods.
16:21
Speaker 1: I think. I keep I'm hung up on this.
16:23
Speaker 6: One question you asked earlier was like, can you feel
16:26
Speaker 6: joy when you're stressed?
16:28
Speaker 3: It's very, very difficult. It's super difficult, you know, Like
16:31
Speaker 3: imagine when you're stressed and you're sitting eating your food.
16:34
Speaker 3: Many times we'll like finish the bowl and we don't
16:36
Speaker 3: even know we finished our plate, right, because our brain
16:39
Speaker 3: was somewhere else. So we missed out on a point
16:40
Speaker 3: of joy, right, We weren't tasting the crunchy salad or
16:43
Speaker 3: the dressings.
16:44
Speaker 1: Right.
16:45
Speaker 4: That's crazy, Yeah, like mostly.
16:48
Speaker 5: Not even everything's not trying to sound like a client
16:50
Speaker 5: here or anything like that. But a lot of things
16:52
Speaker 5: that you're saying, like I like live this every day,
16:56
Speaker 5: Like I'll heat something up and then do something else
16:59
Speaker 5: and if forget that I'm even forget that I'm hungry
17:02
Speaker 5: and then do it because I'm trying to keep myself busy.
17:05
Speaker 5: Like I wake up every morning at four, being here
17:08
Speaker 5: at six, we get done at a certain time, I
17:10
Speaker 5: go home, then I work.
17:10
Speaker 4: On other businesses and I do and then I have an.
17:13
Speaker 5: Eight month old baby, and I have a thirteen year
17:14
Speaker 5: old son, and I'm married, and it's so many different things, right,
17:18
Speaker 5: and the drugs and the drugs, so so yeah, he
17:23
Speaker 5: does not have to put it all the day late day.
17:25
Speaker 5: But yes, what I find for me, speaking of drugs,
17:29
Speaker 5: at the end of the night a good like pre
17:33
Speaker 5: roll Like for me, we that calms me down. I'm
17:38
Speaker 5: able to relax and just like take a breath. But
17:42
Speaker 5: by the time that is, that's like twelve one o'clock
17:44
Speaker 5: in the morning, I.
17:44
Speaker 4: Got to be back up at four.
17:46
Speaker 1: Yeah.
17:46
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like, but I don't think I'm stressed all
17:49
Speaker 4: the prices. It's like, what the hell is going on?
17:51
Speaker 3: Then maybe I'm not your doctor, but a lot of
17:54
Speaker 3: people like you who have busy careers, families, a lot
17:57
Speaker 3: of responsibilities.
17:58
Speaker 4: They're caretakers.
17:59
Speaker 3: Right in my stof the first ever published in the
18:01
Speaker 3: world on high function depression, a lot of caretakers, a
18:04
Speaker 3: lot of caregivers, they experience that lack of joy. Why
18:07
Speaker 3: because they're so busy in their minds, they're so restless
18:10
Speaker 3: that they're missing out the precious baby's face in front
18:13
Speaker 3: of them, who wants to snuggle with you? Right, you
18:14
Speaker 3: lost the point right there, because when you snuggle, you're
18:17
Speaker 3: getting oxytocin, right, You're getting that attachment hormone. And you know,
18:21
Speaker 3: many times I hear a lot of people saying they're
18:23
Speaker 3: intimate with their partners and they just can't wait to
18:24
Speaker 3: get over what because they just want to You know,
18:26
Speaker 3: they're not they're missing out. That's a point of joy
18:28
Speaker 3: for human beings, right, Sleep is a point of joy.
18:31
Speaker 3: But many of us are spending our times on our
18:32
Speaker 3: phones before we go to bed, so that's disrupting our sleep.
18:36
Speaker 3: So we are losing so many points because we cannot
18:38
Speaker 3: sit still.
18:40
Speaker 6: What about the water too, what about the the five's?
18:44
Speaker 6: Can you break down the concept of healing with the five's.
18:47
Speaker 3: Well, the reason I the reason I came up with
18:51
Speaker 3: the fives, I got a point of joy there. My
18:56
Speaker 3: thirst is because when I travel the world, the number
19:00
Speaker 3: or five comes up in a lot of countries. Right,
19:02
Speaker 3: So I want people to envision their hand and say
19:04
Speaker 3: to themselves, like, I am built with the DNA for joy.
19:07
Speaker 3: It is my birthright as a human I want to
19:09
Speaker 3: reclaim it, right and.
19:15
Speaker 2: Joy tell me how to do.
19:21
Speaker 3: It and envision that. You know you were built with
19:26
Speaker 3: the DNA for joy. It is your birthright as a
19:28
Speaker 3: human being, but sometimes you forget how to access it.
19:30
Speaker 3: So I want you to reclaim your joy tapping into
19:33
Speaker 3: one of the five y's every day, right, just one.
19:35
Speaker 3: Don't do more than one or two because that's too much.
19:39
Speaker 3: And the first one is validation. So validation is acknowledging
19:43
Speaker 3: and accepting how you feel good or bad without judgment. Right,
19:47
Speaker 3: And you know how I said that when you don't
19:49
Speaker 3: know what you're dealing with, validation is like turn the
19:51
Speaker 3: light onto that room, so you know what you're working with.
19:53
Speaker 3: You're naming the emotion good or bad, and you're accepting
19:56
Speaker 3: it and you can self validate right to yourself. But
19:59
Speaker 3: you know sometimes with my assessments, I validate through the quizzes.
20:03
Speaker 3: You know the quiz online that I have on my website.
20:05
Speaker 3: If you take take the Antedonia quiz and you see
20:08
Speaker 3: you have a high Antedonia score, You're like, wow, I'm
20:11
Speaker 3: lacking joy. That is why I feel this way, right.
20:14
Speaker 3: And the second is venting. Venting is expressing emotion. So
20:18
Speaker 3: you could vent verbally like we are right now, or
20:21
Speaker 3: you could write in a journal, or pray or dance
20:24
Speaker 3: or sing or cry. All are ways to express emotion.
20:27
Speaker 3: And in my lab when people come in, I'll fill
20:30
Speaker 3: up a red balloon and every person would take a
20:33
Speaker 3: turn trying to put that balloon underwater, and one hundred
20:36
Speaker 3: percent of the time it pops up. You cannot escape physics.
20:39
Speaker 4: Right.
20:39
Speaker 3: So venting is imagine if you're letting the air out
20:42
Speaker 3: of that balloon slowly over time.
20:44
Speaker 4: Right.
20:44
Speaker 3: What happens if you don't let that air out is
20:47
Speaker 3: that that balloon that's stress, that emotion will pop up
20:50
Speaker 3: in areas of your life that you don't want it
20:52
Speaker 3: to pop about, work, in your relationships, in your family.
20:55
Speaker 4: Right.
20:55
Speaker 3: So when you let the air out over time, you're
20:58
Speaker 3: able to have that balloon glad on the word you know,
21:00
Speaker 3: it's you're more peaceful. And then the third V is values. Right,
21:05
Speaker 3: So I brought in those candles for you because I
21:07
Speaker 3: value you know, giving back to my community. So right
21:10
Speaker 3: now I'm wearing a design from a black designer who's
21:13
Speaker 3: a close friend of mine, Carl Kushny, And I brought
21:15
Speaker 3: candles from Harlem Candle Company, right because I like to
21:18
Speaker 3: give and pour back into my community. And so tap
21:22
Speaker 3: into what gives you meaning and purpose. Think priceless versus
21:25
Speaker 3: price tags. Many of us chase the things, right, we
21:28
Speaker 3: chase the cloud, we chase the money. I was like
21:30
Speaker 3: that too, But you're not doing things that give you
21:33
Speaker 3: meaning and purpose, so you're missing out, right. So now
21:36
Speaker 3: I won't take a speaking engagement if it's if I'm
21:38
Speaker 3: missing out on my time with my daughter, Yeah, because honestly,
21:43
Speaker 3: I I co parent, so I'm only going to see
21:45
Speaker 3: her for like you know how they do the math
21:47
Speaker 3: on on socials. I'm going to miss out on my
21:50
Speaker 3: time with her. It's that's priceless. Why would I do that?
21:53
Speaker 3: No amount of money can give me that time back, right,
21:55
Speaker 3: So really tap into things that matter. And the fourth
21:59
Speaker 3: ve as vitals, what nourishes your mind, your brain, your body. Right,
22:04
Speaker 3: you only get one. I tell my daughter, since she
22:06
Speaker 3: was too how many bodies did God give you? And
22:08
Speaker 3: she always says one, mommy, And I said, what do
22:10
Speaker 3: you got to do with it? Take care of it?
22:12
Speaker 3: And she's known that since she was too. Right. But
22:14
Speaker 3: we treat our bodies so poorly, you know, we criticize
22:18
Speaker 3: what we look. But it's like, I have strong legs
22:20
Speaker 3: that get me to places, right. A lot of people
22:22
Speaker 3: don't have that. So be kind to your body. Eat
22:24
Speaker 3: nourishing foods, not processed foods. Get movement in, you know,
22:27
Speaker 3: protect your brain from too much screen time. You know,
22:31
Speaker 3: the way that we look at our faces all the time,
22:33
Speaker 3: it's very unhealthy, you know, when we're looking at our
22:35
Speaker 3: face on FaceTime, we're looking on zoom, super unhealthy. It's
22:38
Speaker 3: causing a lot of stress. We weren't meant to look
22:40
Speaker 3: at our face that much, right, really, we weren't. There's
22:43
Speaker 3: a termins psychiatry called the otoscopic phenomenon. So people who
22:47
Speaker 3: are psychotic with schizophrenia, they'll see images of themselves across
22:50
Speaker 3: the room and it creates a lot of anxiety for
22:52
Speaker 3: them and depression we're doing that to ourselves.
22:55
Speaker 5: And that's why filters exist, because that's the better way
22:58
Speaker 5: to look at yourself. And a lot of women and
23:02
Speaker 5: men cannot take a picture on the regular camera now
23:05
Speaker 5: because oh okay, I get it, I'm putting it together.
23:09
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, it's really unhealthy for us. If I were
23:11
Speaker 3: to see my face next year's right now, I'd be
23:13
Speaker 3: so distracted I wouldn't even be listening to you. We
23:15
Speaker 3: were made to look at each other, to interact with
23:17
Speaker 3: each other, to get feedback, not to look at ourselves.
23:19
Speaker 3: So really protect your brain and the other parts of
23:22
Speaker 3: idols are our relationships. We neglect it. We have to
23:25
Speaker 3: pour into healthy relationships because the unhealthy ones will drain
23:29
Speaker 3: our life source. And then the last fee is vision.
23:31
Speaker 3: How do you plan join in the future so you
23:34
Speaker 3: keep moving forward instead of getting stuck in the past.
23:36
Speaker 3: So this could be small, you know, like I plan
23:38
Speaker 3: joy every day. After I get my kid to school
23:40
Speaker 3: on time, on the days I have her, I'll sit
23:42
Speaker 3: in my living room and I have my Caribbean coffee
23:45
Speaker 3: and I enjoy it. You know, I savor it because
23:46
Speaker 3: that's my time. But for someone else it could be
23:48
Speaker 3: something else. Right, So plan the joy. Celebrate your wins.
23:51
Speaker 3: When you meet a major milestone, right, celebrate it as
23:55
Speaker 3: a team. You know you don't get that time back.
23:57
Speaker 3: So plan joy in the future.
23:59
Speaker 6: What people walk away with after reading High Functioning, I.
24:04
Speaker 3: Really hope that they understand that joy is a priority,
24:06
Speaker 3: It is a necessity. It is part of our survival,
24:10
Speaker 3: especially in our community. Without joy, what would have happened
24:14
Speaker 3: to us? You know, So prioritize joy and understand the
24:18
Speaker 3: science of your happiness. You know there is only one you,
24:21
Speaker 3: and there will only ever be one you. So take
24:23
Speaker 3: the time to know yourself, understand what's taking away from
24:26
Speaker 3: your joy so you know where to add back to it.
24:28
Speaker 3: And joy has the power to change people and their communities.
24:33
Speaker 3: So you know, we all probably have interacted with people
24:35
Speaker 3: who are not joyful. They can change the tone of
24:38
Speaker 3: a room, right, So if we take the time to
24:40
Speaker 3: invest in joy, we can literally change not just ourselves,
24:43
Speaker 3: but our families, our communities, and I think the world.
24:46
Speaker 1: How do they find you, Doctor Judith.
24:48
Speaker 3: Doctor Judith Joseph dot com and follow me on all
24:50
Speaker 3: the socials, Doctor Judith Joseph, and pick up my book
24:53
Speaker 3: High Functioning.
24:54
Speaker 6: Overcome your Hidden depression and reclaim your joy. Thank you
24:56
Speaker 6: for joining.
24:57
Speaker 1: Thank you so much.
24:58
Speaker 2: That's Judith Joseph is Thereakfast Club, good morning, thank you.
25:01
Speaker 1: Wake that ass up early in the morning. Breakfast Club
25:09
Speaker 2: H