Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #139 Tweens, Teens & Screens Teaser

Transcript

#139 Tweens, Teens & Screens Teaser · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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Speaker 1: We don't ask people how much food time they've had today,
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Speaker 1: because what I'm really interested in is what have you
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Speaker 1: eaten today? How are you nourishing your body. It's the
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Speaker 1: Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time poor parent
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Speaker 1: who just once answers now. Hello, my name's dot Justin Coulson.
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Speaker 1: I'm here with my wife and co host, missus Happy Families. Hello,
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Speaker 1: parents to six kids. I've written six books about raising
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Speaker 1: happy families. I'm thinking about working on another one. Tell
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Speaker 1: you more about that another time. I just got the
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Speaker 1: look like you're not seriously going to do that. And
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Speaker 1: today a new topic that I think is it's on
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Speaker 1: the minds of parents like almost no other topic.
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Speaker 2: Well, tonight, Justin, you're actually going to be hosting a
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Speaker 2: webinar on tweens, teens and screens. This is a really
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Speaker 2: hot topic for any parent out there who has a
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Speaker 2: child old enough to hold a device.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and we've had We've had more interest and more
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Speaker 1: people growing hold of tickets for this webinar than any
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Speaker 1: that we've done in a long time. It's a really
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Speaker 1: hot button issue. I think covid has probably exacerbated it.
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Speaker 2: I think you're real spot on with that. So let's
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Speaker 2: actually talk about what you're going to talk about tonight. Okay,
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Speaker 2: We've got this big list here of all of these
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Speaker 2: different concerns that parents have concerns with addiction to our screens,
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Speaker 2: privacy issues for our children and keeping them safe, cyber bullying.
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Speaker 2: I mean, this is these are big issues for parents.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it keeps going. And if you've watched The
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Speaker 1: Social Dilemma on Netflix, are.
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Speaker 2: You going to talk about that tonight?
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Speaker 1: We will talk about it briefly, really compelling documentary. Lots
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Speaker 1: to like about it, but also a handful of things
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Speaker 1: that I really didn't like about it. It was not
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Speaker 1: so much a documentary as it was propaganda for Tristan
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Speaker 1: Harris and his Center for Humane Technology, which I'm a
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Speaker 1: really big fan of and supporter of. But there just
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Speaker 1: wasn't the other side. It was so onsided. So I'm
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Speaker 1: going to discuss why I loved The Social Dilemma, but
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Speaker 1: why I also hated it, and what we need to
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Speaker 1: know is parents that kind of maybe balances out the
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Speaker 1: conversation just a little bit.
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Speaker 2: So I've been reading over some of the questions that
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Speaker 2: have been coming through in relation to.
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Speaker 1: We've kind of been flooded this challenge.
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Speaker 2: And I've got a couple here that I wanted to
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Speaker 2: pass by you. So how much is too much screen time?
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Speaker 1: We're going to talk about that at length. It's probably
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Speaker 1: the most commonly asked question around screens. To give you
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Speaker 1: a sneak peek of where this is going to go,
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Speaker 1: I want to quote a guy from Oxford. His name
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Speaker 1: is Andrew Shabulski, and he's very much a bit polarizing
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Speaker 1: when it comes to the way we view screens. But
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Speaker 1: something he said has stuck with me forever. He said,
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Speaker 1: we don't ask people how much food time they've had today, Kylie,
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Speaker 1: how much food time have you had? And what's the
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Speaker 1: point of me asking that question? Is a pointless question?
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Speaker 2: Right yeah?
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Speaker 1: Because what I'm really interested is what have you eaten today?
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Speaker 1: How are you nourishing your body? That's the real question
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Speaker 1: that matters here, And so by asking how much screen
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Speaker 1: time our kids should be having, it kind of misses
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Speaker 1: the point. It's like saying how much food time. I'm
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Speaker 1: interested in what screen input they're having and what it's
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Speaker 1: doing to their brains and their connections and what it's
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Speaker 1: doing to their physical health. I'm interested in that much
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Speaker 1: more than I'm interested in how much of it they've gotten.
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Speaker 2: You know when we ask those kinds of questions, that
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Speaker 2: we actually putting emphasis on the thing that we want
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Speaker 2: to have less emphasis on.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, kind of, But the thing is, and this is
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Speaker 1: again why I kind of disagree with some of what
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Speaker 1: happened in the Social Dilemma. It's actually okay. There's good
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Speaker 1: quality research, lots of very good quality research that says
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Speaker 1: that it's okay to have screen time and it's even
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Speaker 1: okay to be involved with social media. That's not something
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Speaker 1: that came out in the Social Dilemma. Like I said,
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Speaker 1: I'll unpack that more in the webinar, but I reckon
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Speaker 1: to ask how much screen time a person's having it
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Speaker 1: kind of it's a pointless question. I'm much more interested
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Speaker 1: in what did you do on your screens today? What
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Speaker 1: are you planning on doing on your screens for the
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Speaker 1: next hour. That's more useful than it's kind of like
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Speaker 1: saying what are you having for dinner? Because if you're
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Speaker 1: telling me you're going to eat cookies and ice cream,
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Speaker 1: I'm going to say, well, let's make sure that we
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Speaker 1: don't too much of that and maybe have it after
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Speaker 1: we had the nutritional stuff.
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Speaker 2: So parents with younger children, they want to know whether
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Speaker 2: or not they can actually control the amount of screen
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Speaker 2: time that they have with their children. Would you say
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Speaker 2: to that, well.
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Speaker 1: I would say yes. And in the webinar again, now
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Speaker 1: these questions aren't all planted, by the way, but in
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Speaker 1: the webinar, I'm going to talk about how we set
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Speaker 1: up those parameters, and I'm going to suggest that as
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Speaker 1: our children get older, we give them more and more
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Speaker 1: say in how much screen time they're having. But from
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Speaker 1: the very beginning our conversation, well, I'm going to talk
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Speaker 1: about six SE's. It started off with three c's and
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Speaker 1: it just keeps growing because I love alliterations. Six is
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Speaker 1: my lucky numb Yeah, six seeds of screen time is
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Speaker 1: what we're going to talk about. I'll give you a
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Speaker 1: quick sneak peek. So there's consumption, there's creation, there's connection,
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Speaker 1: but we've also got to consider the content and your child.
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Speaker 1: All of those things start with see and they're the
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Speaker 1: six big factors that impact not just how much screen
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Speaker 1: time we're going to let our kids have, because there
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Speaker 1: should be some limit around how much, but also what
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Speaker 1: kind of screen time they're going to have. That's I
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Speaker 1: think that's where the real gold of tonight's conversation is.
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Speaker 1: I'll give you a quick snapshot. There's active kinds of
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Speaker 1: screen time and there's passive kinds of screen time. So
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Speaker 1: if your kids are actively using screens, that is, if
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Speaker 1: they're using screens in a way where they're connecting with
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Speaker 1: people and they're creating content, those two seas, well, that's
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Speaker 1: really healthy for them. But if they're just consuming endlessly
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Speaker 1: scrolling using their thumbs and just over their pointer finger
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Speaker 1: and just scrolling through that infinity pool of entertainment, that
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Speaker 1: doesn't really enlarge our souls. Probably not so good. We
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Speaker 1: want to minimize the amount of time it's.
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Speaker 2: Really easy to get caught up in that vortex of
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Speaker 2: just continual scrolling.
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Speaker 1: So they're three of the seas. Content, context, and child
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Speaker 1: are the other ones, and we'll talk about that as well.
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Speaker 1: I think it's also important let's check in and find
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Speaker 1: out what other questions parents might want to know. Answers
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Speaker 1: to my name's doctor Justin Courson. I'm here with my wife,
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Speaker 1: missus Happy Families Kylie Couson co hosting the Happy Families
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Speaker 1: podcast The Pods for the time poor parent who just
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Speaker 1: once answers now, and we are talking tweens, teens and
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Speaker 1: screens and questions that have come up that I'll be
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Speaker 1: answering in tonight's webinar all about how we can manage
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Speaker 1: screen time in our homes.
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Speaker 2: Well, I think this question is going to probably take
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Speaker 2: up the rest of our time because parents want to
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Speaker 2: know can we even have an hour without screens or technology?
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Speaker 1: We're going to say, can we have an hour without
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Speaker 1: the kids and just let them be on their screen
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Speaker 1: so we can have some peace and quiet? We can
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Speaker 1: have both, you know, I reckon, let me answer the
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Speaker 1: second part of that first, my little joke. I reckon,
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Speaker 1: it's perfectly okay now, and then to say, hey, kids,
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Speaker 1: go and consume some screens. I just want to spend
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Speaker 1: some time with your mum or your dad, or we
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Speaker 1: just need some downtime. I want to have a shower
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Speaker 1: in peace, leave me alone, and go on wats your screen.
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Speaker 1: I don't think that's an unhealthy thing. Sometimes life gets
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Speaker 1: like that and we just need some downtime. So parents
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Speaker 1: shouldn't beating themselves up over that unless they're doing it
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Speaker 1: all day every day. The question that you asked, though,
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Speaker 1: is what about when the kids are on the screen,
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Speaker 1: we're like, can we just get you into our space
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Speaker 1: and into our living as a family for an hour
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Speaker 1: without your screen.
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Speaker 2: So in our home, for instance, we have a rule
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Speaker 2: that we don't bring our phones to the dinner table.
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Speaker 1: Or the breakfast table, or the lunch table with a table. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: if there's food where they're to commune with one another,
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Speaker 1: where there to consume and commune. I like that. The
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Speaker 1: more sea, there's two more seas, two more CC's now.
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Speaker 1: So I think that it's really important that we work
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Speaker 1: out how to communicate with the kids so that those
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Speaker 1: moments that need to happen so our family can function
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Speaker 1: well really do occur. I mean, screens displace a lot
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Speaker 1: of things that are really healthy. So we'll talk in
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Speaker 1: the webinar about how we have those conversations with children
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Speaker 1: from toddlers to teens and maybe even our partners, because
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Speaker 1: let's face it, every now and again, missus happy families.
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Speaker 1: I do walk into the room and you're watching Netflix
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Speaker 1: in bed because I've been in the office later, I've
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Speaker 1: been dealing with the kids or whatever's going on, and.
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Speaker 2: Well, you did throw me under the bus on Friday
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Speaker 2: without I'll do better tomorrow.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, so screens can be a bit of an
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Speaker 1: issue for for Adams big people. Yeah, even the big people,
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Speaker 1: and we'll be addressing that. I reckon the most important
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Speaker 1: sea of all. There's a sea for solving all of this.
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Speaker 1: A seed. I'm just solving all of this. I can't
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Speaker 1: help myself. Only one, not sick, just one, Just one
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Speaker 1: communicate and I'll tell you how to communicate in the webinar.
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Speaker 1: I mean, if if you can't get to the webinar,
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Speaker 1: you can actually register for it. And if you're a
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Speaker 1: Happy Family's member, by the way, you get the webinar
8:28
Speaker 1: as part of your membership. If you're not a Happy
8:29
Speaker 1: Family's member, what are you doing? You should be a member.
8:32
Speaker 1: The family keeps getting bigger, literally every day, more and
8:35
Speaker 1: more people are coming on board because there's so much
8:37
Speaker 1: value for your family and that membership. But if you're
8:40
Speaker 1: not a Happy Family's member, you can still register for it,
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Speaker 1: pay for it, and then watch it when it suits you.
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Speaker 1: So our time's pretty much up twins, teens, and screens.
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Speaker 2: I think tonight it's going to be well worth a
8:50
Speaker 2: list in justin and.
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Speaker 1: There's going to be a lot, a lot of a
8:52
Speaker 1: lot of people who are online watching as well. I
8:54
Speaker 1: think that I think it's going to be great now.
8:57
Speaker 1: We love it when you jump online and go to
8:59
Speaker 1: the Apple dot com podcasts page and leave your ratings
9:04
Speaker 1: and reviews. That's how people get to find the podcast,
9:07
Speaker 1: and you know, we get it in front of more
9:09
Speaker 1: and more people. And we received one another five star review.
9:12
Speaker 1: Don't mind five star reviews. I'm just putting it out there.
9:15
Speaker 2: I don't think you are enjoying them. So Joe Photo said,
9:20
Speaker 2: this is a really practical support for parents, and I
9:22
Speaker 2: find Justin's insights really valuable, down to earth and real
9:26
Speaker 2: highly recommended, and.
9:28
Speaker 1: I reckon Joe Photo would have given us even more
9:30
Speaker 1: than five out of five if he knew, if he
9:32
Speaker 1: knew how down to earth and insightful you were as well.
9:35
Speaker 1: But this one came through just before we started the
9:37
Speaker 1: podcast together. So thank you very much, Joe Photo. Please
9:40
Speaker 1: keep those ratings and reviews coming. It takes you about
9:42
Speaker 1: two minutes to jump on there and do it, but
9:44
Speaker 1: it makes such a big impact in terms of other
9:46
Speaker 1: people being able to find the podcast and participated and
9:50
Speaker 1: obviously get the value that we're offering. So thank you
9:52
Speaker 1: very much for doing that. If you'd like more information
9:55
Speaker 1: about all the ways that we can make your family happier,
9:57
Speaker 1: our memberships are available at happy families dot com dot au.
10:00
Speaker 1: You can find us on Instagram, and you can also
10:02
Speaker 1: find us at Facebook doctor Justin Colson's Happy Families