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110. The Cult Special! · Notable Nostalgia

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: And what if I lost both my hands tomorrow.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: You could be a seat model star. I was sixteen
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: at the time or fifteen. And then hook it up
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: with a witch and that was that. Cats can smile apparently,
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: whoa weird, but it doesn't always mean that they're happy.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: Lucy receives a call from what I can only assume
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: is the future winner of every acting award ever.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Jennyman is a star. Her look looks weren't a
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: part of the issue.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: He's like, I had to sell my last top hat
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: for jaas.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: Maybe this is not appropriate eitherre but we'll see.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: And then God came down with fire and oh, I'm
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: so sorry I didn't see you here. Hey, what's up
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: in Missalt the Nerds? It's me Andy, I'm Jeff, and
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: today we have something fucking great to talk about.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: I'm excited. Yeah.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: Uh, this is something that I've always been interested in
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: my whole life. I remember as a little kid doing
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: like watching documentaries about stuff like this on A and
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: E and History Channel before just all aliens are Hitler
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: and uh, I've just always been interested. So we were
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: thinking it would be kind of fun to talk about
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: some cults from the nineties and two thousands.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, culture really by the sidebar. I really like the like,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: oh I didn't see you there, and where we're watching
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: you listeners. We have cameras in your car and your bathroom, which,
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: in all honesty, you're probably listening to this while you're showering,
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: or you're probably and you're probably at least naked, yeah,
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: or at work. Yeah, you could be at work naked.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: So there were so many cults in like the nineties
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: two thousand's, like for like young millennials. Yeah, so like
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: what were some uh, and then we'll kind of dive
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: into our favorite with what were some that kind of
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: come to mind that we've chatted about before.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: Well, I don't know if we've chatted about too much,
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: but like Waco, I remember that, I remember Heaven's Gate
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: growing up, I remember like the Ruby Ridge wasn't so
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: much of a cult, but it's kind of like a cult.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: And then yeah, we we do. I did want to
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: say this too.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: We do understand that like a lot of people, you know,
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: Christianity and Catholics. Yeah, you know, I guess you know
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: they're coul too, but they've been around for a long time,
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: so yeah, I get for some reason they get passed out.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: I don't know why. I know it was direct.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: And then what was the what was the true Kegan one?
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: I don't know, but about that one, but.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: When he was on the pod Meats World, they made
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: a joke about it, and he didn't say anything after that.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, he doesn't want to talk.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: He don't want to talk about that.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: Now, but there was a cult in Oregon called like
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: the Hiroshami or whatever, like, there was a big cult
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: in the seventies here and that.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Horrible one, the Jim George and Jones Jim Jones one
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: that was so horrific. I watched documentaries about that. That's
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: where it comes from, like the you know, don't drink
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: the kol Aid or whatever, but they didn't actually use
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: kool aid, but so that kind of kolide got a
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: bad rap bit also kool aid. It's kind of sucky.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I actually thinking about that recently because
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: I tried to cool it a bunch as a kid,
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: and I remember making it and now in my head,
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: I'm just thinking about how much sugar you'd have to
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: put in there to make it so much good.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: What the fuck?
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: It's crazy that that was like a thing that we
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: were doing in the nineties and people were like, oh,
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: it's better than soda.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: No, it wasn't.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: No used because me and my sister were like blondie kids,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: like blonde hair kids, and we would use the lemonade
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: kool aid to dye our hair even more blonde.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't know you'd do that. Yeah, so long
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: would it stay in there?
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: Not very long? But it was like, also, probably you're
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: drinking something that dies your hair.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: If you put it, say for like a night, or
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: saying for like weeks, it would say it for several days.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: It was like, would definitely like light lighten your hair
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: up a little bit. I guess people use like lemon
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: to lighten their hair, like they put lemon, like squeeze
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: lemon on their hair and they go out into the sun.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: Didn't know that, so I know, bleach, but that's just
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: from you know, the outsiders.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: But yeah, why weren't you afraid of us?
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Like you was?
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: Dala mustines are too, but for drawing a man anyway.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: I've read every single se Hinton book because I loved
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: that one. My favorite one out of them was that
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: was Then This is Now a Rumblefish. How many books
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: did you have shed has Bad, like five or six?
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: Five or six? And frankly had one.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: I'm okay, we're joking. We're joking. We love it. And
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: frank that was actually n Haathaway. We don't love her. Yeah,
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: she's the worst hand. Okay, So okay, any what is
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: your favorite? What's your favorite colt or the cult that
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: you wanted a spotlight tonight or today?
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: I think out of all the colts, the one I
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: chose isn't as bad or as dangerous as some of
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: the other ones. I mean, yes, they are they are.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: They all are kind of bad in a way, But
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: this one I didn't feel like was as nefarious and
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: didn't have like any like weird sex shit going on
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: or anything like that. Yes, a lot of people do
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: commit suicide, which is really shitty. But I'm went with
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: Heaven's Gate.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah that's that was a good one. Oh.
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: Yes, I need.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: To report an anonymous hip.
• 5:04
  Speaker 6: Where do I talk to? Okay, this is regarding what
• 5:10
  Speaker 6: this is regarding a master shy, and I can give.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: You the address.
• 5:15
  Speaker 7: The address seemed the unlikeliest of places, a mansion and
• 5:18
  Speaker 7: a quiet, affluent suburb of San Diego. I have a
• 5:22
  Speaker 7: gagging reflex that smells, so I wanted to take care
• 5:25
  Speaker 7: of that, so I put Klonna my shirt and put
• 5:27
  Speaker 7: my shirt over my nose. Rio DiAngelo was the first
• 5:30
  Speaker 7: one to discover the bodies and called nine to one
• 5:33
  Speaker 7: one twenty one women and eighteen men had taken their
• 5:37
  Speaker 7: own lives.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and so just I did a little bit of background.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: So Heaven's Gate started in the seventies and they were
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: mixed between like a Christian coal and an alien UFO
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: type cult.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I know right after that, I was like, oh, jeess,
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: I'm going to join.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: They believe that they would eventually get picked up by
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: a spaceship and go to the next level, and that
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: could be considered Heaven, or it could be considered the
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: next evolutionary step were humans. It was started by Marshall
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: Applewhite who was a former music professor. He went by Doe,
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: and Bonnie Nettles, a former nurse, went by Tea, you know,
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: like sound of music, fossil, you know whatever. And my
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: notes are gonna be a little fucked up actually, because
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: last night I was like, okay, I gotta put my
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: notes in order, and I was like to put something
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: in the background, put on Sound of Music. Haven't watched
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: it for probably twenty years. Fucking great, But I just
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: watched that all night.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: Do you watch Sound of Music because of this cult?
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: No, just because I was like, I haven't watched it
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: for a long time, and I like musicals. I'm like,
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna check it out. And I was laughing a
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: bunch because one is kind of like it's kind of
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: cheesy because it's like in the sixties. Yeah, And two
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: some of them are just really cute, little fun moments,
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: you know. So if you haven't watched Out of Music,
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: I recommend it's actually really good.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: I don't like it when she's like running on the
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: hill the very beginning, because.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: It's very beginning for like a minute, well.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Because I don't like it when people do things on
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: TV or movies that I couldn't do, that's true, and
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: I would be so exhausted, and I don't know how
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: she like run, walks and sings at the same time.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: Well, also, like so right after that, all the nuns
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: are like mad because she's late, and she's like really late.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: So my thing is like she had to have got
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: she had to walk a long way to like sing
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: on that hill, knowing that.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: She had she had to do that day.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: So it's like, okay, well why would you walk if
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: you want to sing? Just sing outside, don't walk a bunch.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: And then anyways, for visually, that nun song though my
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: favorite one, like what song on Maria? But so, uh,
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: this is another reason why I kind of like this
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: one too, because he was a previous music professor, which
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: means he went to college.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: She was a previous nurse, which I mean she went.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: To college, and a lot of the people that actually
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: ended up joining Joining they were all like educated, they
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: knew about computers.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: There was other nurses there.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: They were just like they were like kind of like
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: star treky kind of sci fi nerds, which I always
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: kind of like, you know, I kind of gravitate towards.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: But so Marshall Appleway and Bonnie Nettles, I've read multiple
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: ways on how they actually met, but where they met
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: isn't disputed. They met in a hospital. Some people say
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: it was a psych like a psychiatric hospital for him.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: Some say that he was visiting another friend and she
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: was the nurse there. So there's a lot of ways
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: on why they met there, but they did meet it
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: at a hospital. They became close when they started talking
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: about their spiritual side, and eventually they came to the
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: conclusion that they were the two witnesses that were described.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: In the Book of Revelations.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: Oh but I'm also curious on like how long were
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: they talking to get to that point?
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Right, Like, Hey, I'm gonna get some lunch, all right, Yeah,
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: hey witness, Hey, witness. You know who said it?
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Who said it first?
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Exactly?
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: I feel like he did this because he looked a
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: lot crazier than she did.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Men are usually the more fucked up ones, right, I
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: would say, yeah, for sure. Uh.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: They believed that they would ascend the next step, and
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: but to do that they would have to shed their
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: human traits.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: So that's why they shaved their head. They didn't believe.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: They believe like gender was like a human thing, so
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: they wanted to look jenn List as possible. They they
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: believed in celibacy isolation at the the whole time Heaven's
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: Gate was around from the seventies to nineteen ninety seven.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: They had about one hundred members total, but some would leave,
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: some would show up, some would you know, So it
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: was always kind of at their max. They probably had
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: about forty and that's kind of near the end. Yeah,
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: So it wasn't like a huge thing like Jonestown, whereas
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: like what fifteen hundred people, So that's fucking crazy.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: And a lot of people didn't do it like they chose.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: They didn't want to do it, you know.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: But uh, the members were required to sever ties with
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: family and friends, renounce personal relationships, and commit to celibacy.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: The group kind of adopted like like the nun what's
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: it called monastery, like a monastery type lifestyle. They lived
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: in isolation and they basically just devoted their lives to
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: each other and the cause.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: So pretty cool, which is a.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: Crazy part though, since they did choose to be celibate.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: Marshall Appleoy he started getting attracted to one of the
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: guys in there, and he's like, hey, I'm not digging
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: this because we shouldn't. This is a human thing, right,
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: So he was thinking about castrating himself and then people
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: were like, I want to castrate myself, and so then
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: between seven and nine people castrated themselves during the time.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Gross.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and so they did their day. I can't remember
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: actually how it's on my notes. So okay, So listener
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: act into his computer. So then your name, if you
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: were in the cult would be Jacoty because they always
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: edited with like an ody and but you don't have
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: to do Jeff kell.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I did Jeff Keller, od Y Jacody. I was thinking
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: mine would be.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Like a nod a nod in Jacodyah.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: Pretty cool.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: So they believed in uniformity. They wore identical clothing. Like
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: I said earlier, they all cut their hair. They referred
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: to each other by numbers rather than names. Uh. They
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: believed in unity and the ejection of any individuality. The
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: group's final uniform included black shirts, pants, and Nike sneakers,
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: which they bought because they were on sale.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: So they were also frugal.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: I really liked and their daily diet and routine, which
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: I think Jesse might join.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: They were strict vegetarians.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So as of right now, there's a good chance
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: she was a Nazi or Evans Gate member.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if she was a Heavan's Gate member.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: She's still alive, that's true.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: She came.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: There's a few that are still Oh she escaped.
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and they still their website is still up and
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: people are still do it for him. But it was
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: super early from the nineties because at that time you
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: literally had.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: To code everything.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: So they could code because they're all kind of nerds,
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: you know, so their website's still going. They before they
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: killed themselves, they made videos of themselves basically saying goodbye
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: and like, hey, this is nobody's fault.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: We want to do this.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: We believe that this comic going by the Hailbop comment.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: Right next to it, there's spaceship, So we we're gonna
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: kill ourselves so we can get on that UFO. Originally,
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: suicide wasn't in the pact, but in the nineteen eighties,
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: the leader, Bonnie Nettles, she died from cancer. So then
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: it kind of fucked up the whole group because they're like,
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: what this shouldn't be.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: But then they.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: Decided, well, Marshall apple White was like, well she died,
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: so her human self was shed. So now she's already
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: up there, so now we got to go up there too.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: Kind of sweet, yeah, you know, not bad.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: Another reason I kind of like this, you know this
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: this colt in a way is because they paid off
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: their library passa due for everybody, oh no, just for
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: their group. Oh and so before they they knew they
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: were going to kill themselves, but they still went to
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: the library and then they had any passa do accounts.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: They paid it off. That's kind of That's what I'm saying.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: This seemed like they were like pretty nice. They didn't
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: eat meat, they there was no sex, weird shit going on.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: There's nobody under eighteen. They all seemed I mean, yes,
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: they were probably were brainwashed to a point. I don't
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: know how that stuff works, but if I had to
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: join a cult, I think I would join that one
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: just because everybody seemed really really nice, and everybody see
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: and they watched a bunch of Star Trek together.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Oh there we go, boom, So I could.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: Get Star Trek fucking get library books all day.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: Like And I'm going to point out that they didn't
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: have many followers or like you know whatever team members,
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: because of course it makes sense because they were ran
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: by nerds. Le's that's implied that they didn't have sex.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: So you could even love that out because like, of
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: course they're not having sex. Yeah, they had ugly poor
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: outfits that's like discounted shoes whatever. And then and then
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: I heard you say that there's no mention off like
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: pizza parties, like we and you could get forty people easily,
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: Like in twenty minutes, I'd be like, hey, we got
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: some dominoes. Come over here.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: It's not yeah, and I kill yourself. You get as
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: much don those as you and then you can go. Yeah.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: Actually, when I run for office, I already have a
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: full proof plan. I don't know if I told you so.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: If there's ninety days no crime, no, no, sorry, thirty
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: days no crime, sweet movie party, sixty days no crime,
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: everybody movie, pizza party, ninety days no crime, everybody movie, pizza,
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: ice cream party, we got this.
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: But if there's one crime, we have to restart.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: I don't want that. I think we could probably get
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: it as a society within within three months. Yeah, I
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: think we got this.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sure we got this, you guys.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: So that's but the one thing that's really sad about
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: this call is right after it happened, ninety seven, just
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: like it with almost any even like you know, the
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: whole oh drinking the Kooli thing, we made a joke
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: about it. Yeah, fifteen hundred people died, and you know,
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: and then same with this, like right after this there
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: was SNL skits about them committing suicide. And my biggest
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: thing is, could you imagine being a family member of
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: watching like that. You're like, Wow, my daughter or my
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: ex husband or whoever, you know, my mom just killed
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: themselves and now Wolf Farrell's making a joke on us
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: to know about it.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't mind if it was Max's husband, but no,
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: that is that is so sad. And I think that
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: the I remember the photos of them with the sheets
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: over them, super freaking eerie.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Same, that's fucking scared.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: Yah had because ninety seven, I wasn't ten yet, so
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: I was still young enough to kind of know what
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: was going on. I remember asking my dad or my
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: mom what happened, and they they kind of explained to me,
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: but they said something wrong.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: I remember now.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: They said that they were curious on what was next
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: and that's why they did it.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: So I get that. So I think it's super inappropriate
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: to make jokes about this. Do you know in any
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: of research, did you know if like Nike sales went
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: up or down after this?
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: I would assume up up. Yeah, just because I mean
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: any of the spaceships.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: They're not listening, that's true.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: And podcast I think it's okay to make jokes about anything.
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: I'm just saying I would feel like, could you imagine
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: how the family members?
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: I would be devastated if if Will Ferrell is making
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: fun of my kid, my family or my kids or whatever,
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: because I hate Will ferrells Oh do you. I just
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: don't think he's that funny.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: I think he had his idea he was comedy in general.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, he's done. There's phases of who.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: The funniest people are for a while, and then they
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: kind of go away.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he needs to join a cult and kill himself.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: But they did.
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: The way they killed themselves though, is they drank a
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: certain type of poison. I don't want to say it
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: on the podcast, you know, just in case, and then
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: they mix it with soda and vodka and then they
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: put bags over their head.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: And they did it within three days.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: So the first day there's a few of them, and
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: then they got their bodies positioned correctly. The second day
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: that's when the leader went and he got his you know,
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: they he killed himself positioned. And the last day only
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: two of them are left, and they're kind of jacked
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: up because they had nobody to like fix their bodies,
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: you know. Yeah, but they all had coins in their
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: pocket too, just in case there was any money, like
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: for tolls.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Oh they were the smart Yeah, they were like they
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: thought they planed.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: They were great planners. Yeah, I mean, you know.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: And listener. If you're gonna leave it and it's a
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: negative review for me, keep fun of this or whatever,
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: like it doesn't really matter. It helps her algorithm.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: So yeah, really quick though.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: They actually they tore down the house, like every all
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: the neighbors got together, bought the house and tore it down.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: What's in the place of it now, like a different house.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: I think a Nike outlet store. Sorry that's a little library. Yeah,
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: so so my well that's a great one.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah for sure.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: So my favorite cult. I can't say that.
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: You want to get more information about this, go to
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: Heavensgate dot com and you can look up the old
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: ass like website from nineteen ninety four.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, identical to what it was before.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: If anyone like joins it, like give us a play
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: by play on like what's up with it?
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Really quick on their website too.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: Just before the mass suicide, the group's website was updated
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: with this message hell bop brings closure to Heaven's Gate
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: or twenty two years of classroom here on planet Earth
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: has finally coming to conclusion graduation from the human evolutionary level.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: We are happily prepared to leave this.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: World and go with T the other owner or the
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: other leader who died in nineteen eighty five. So yeah,
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: if you have more information, go to Heavensgate dot com.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: We are we definitely don't.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: Think you should kill yourself though, no, definitely not. We're
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: against that. But Heaven's Kate, thank you for being a
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: sponsor for nostalgia. So okay, it's on my favorite uh
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: coll or whatever Church of scientology.
• 18:33
  Speaker 6: You're the secret doctrine. You have to be in the
• 18:35
  Speaker 6: church for several years. Stan, are you ready to hear
• 18:37
  Speaker 6: the truth? I guess you see, Stan, there is a
• 18:42
  Speaker 6: reason for people feeling sad and depressed, an alien reason.
• 18:47
  Speaker 6: It all began seventy five million years ago. Back then,
• 18:51
  Speaker 6: there was a galactic federation of planets which was ruled
• 18:54
  Speaker 6: over by the evil lord c.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: U Oh whoa whoah whoah.
• 18:59
  Speaker 6: Sw thought his galaxy was overpopulated, and so he rounded
• 19:02
  Speaker 6: up countless aliens from all different planets and then had
• 19:05
  Speaker 6: those aliens frozen. The frozen alien bodies were loaded onto
• 19:14
  Speaker 6: Xeno's galactic cruisers, which.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Looks like that's definitely a cult in my opinion and
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: probably many people's opinion. But listener, if you know me
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: and you know me, like, I love celebrities, love them,
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: love them, love them, breathe them. So here's a list
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: of some notable bling former members of Scientology that I
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: didn't even know some of these ones. So John Stamos,
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: Uncle Jesse from Full House, really Beck hate that motherfucker
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Leeah remedy of like her whole mission right now is
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: to get rid of Scientology and makes them make them
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: not tax exempt anymore. So she was in the King
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: of Queen's and she has those great documentary series. Katie
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: Holmes ex wife of Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman ex wife
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: of Tom Cruise, Mimi Rogers ex wife of Tom Cruise.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Really yeah yeah they all married, yeah, so many much? Yeah.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: Bad Jason Lee. He's both like ugly and fucking hot
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: at the same time that he's complaxed.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: He was like a pro skater too for a while.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: No really, the guy from Heartbreakers and like my name
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: is Earl.
• 20:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he was a pro skater like figure skater. Oh okay,
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: that's where I didn't know about pro skaters. Yeah, they
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: call are what are rollerbladers?
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Bladers? Okay, soul skaters from Blade Okay. So notable current
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: members Nancy Cartwright, so Bart from The Simpsons, John Travolta,
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: she's been a member since nineteen seventy five. Elizabeth Moss,
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: which is super disappointing because she had strong she played
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: strong female roles in mad Men and Handmaid's Tale. So
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: it's just interesting that because Handmaids Tale is all about
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: this kind of religious cult taking over the United States
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: and she plays, you know, the lead in that. So
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: this is such a bummer sauce because so Church of
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: Scientology is very like misogynistic and enables if it was
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: very much so, it enables a lot of like sex
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: offenders like that, like that douchebag rapist from that seventies show,
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: oh Danny Danny Masterson. Yeah okay, and then uh oh
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: Christiality r I P issue was one. So yeah. So
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: so some notable plain history. So the founder of Search
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: of Scientology was this dude named all Ron Hubbard. L
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Ron Hubbard. There we go, first red flag right there,
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: is if you go by an initial, that's that's a
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: red Flag. Yeah, like, you're a weirdo.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: I think he had a different name and had to
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: change it because when he became a writer, there is
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: already somebody with a name, and I didn't look.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: Up his name. But listener, you like, I didn't do
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: any really research besides like Wikipedia for this, so you
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: know whatever, This bro was a science fiction and fantasy writer,
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: just like James King and or the King James and
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: Joseph Smith, JK.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: God.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: So Second Red Flag what was his name?
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, never mind, it was Lafayette.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I would change it to l two. Okay,
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: So Second Red Flag El was born in Nebraska in
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: nineteen eleven. Only cousin fucking tomatoes there, Okay. Around nineteen fifty,
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Hubbard Hubbard Hubbard Hubbard, that's stupid name announced plans to
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: write a book which he could claim to make super men.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: He announced to the public that there existed a superhuman condition,
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: which he called the state of quote clear. He claimed
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: people in this state would have a perfectly functioning mind
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: and improved IQ and a photographic memory. The quote clear
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: would be cured of all physical ailments, which I guess
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: that makes sense because Tom Cruise is like the poster
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: boy of it and like can run everywhere. Yeah, he's
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: like fucking old as fuck. Okay, not old fuck, he's
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: against fifty but I'm fucking asshole. Okay. So they could
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: tax like poor eyesight and the common cold. So bro
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: was clearly losing his grip. So that's like, uh Dianetics.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah that book.
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I had it when I was in high school,
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: but I never read it, which makes me sad I
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: should have read it.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: So that's like kind of the this is the Jeff
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: you know, reader's digestive. It all is like the mental
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: health beliefs of this l guy. Jesus fucking Christ is
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: what I wrote. There's so much information about this cult.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: It is so much scandal about lying under oath, bribery,
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: money laundering, threats, missing people, et cetera. I am far too,
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: so I was stone during this. I guess to read
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: this shit. Lle lost his rights to Dianetics and then
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: pivoted to creating the quote religion that used fantasy I
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: mean science to convince his followers to use all their money, resources,
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: and a certain member situation their fame to influence I'm
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: gonna burp boat to recruit more members to do the same.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: The quote Church would use its resources to assist those
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: most vulnerable, to help them get approved for loan, sell everything,
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: and to give to the cult. They used quote science
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: terms to fool people into thinking that they knew that
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: what they were talking about, so then they could exploit
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: their past traumas to pretty much bearing wash them and
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: manipulate them.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: Well, one thing too, is they go once you it's
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: just like anything, Like I think the one one important
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: reason of talking to therapists about your trauma, you know,
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: growing up, wow, because it does make it you feel
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: better about it. So that's one thing they really focus on.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: They're like, all right, tell us the worst thing that
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: happened in your life. And you tell them right, and
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: then they'll have you tell it again and it's not
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: so hard saying it the second time, and they go,
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: so it's already working because now it's not as bad as.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: It was before. So yeah, but they also use it
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: too to.
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: Would you just said it manipulate, Yeah, but use it
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: against them later at blackmail us to blackmail them too.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: And I've told my shrinking before, I'm like, hey, there's
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: that patient doctor confidentiality. She's again, and I was like,
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: do you mind not sitting behind your desk or in
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: her appointment? And because I just don't. It feels like
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: I'm in trouble when she's doing that. Yeah, and I'm
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: always like, keep your hands right see them. She obviously
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: doesn't listener. She would drop me as a patient. Okay,
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: So once you're a member, they would threaten you with
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: your job, housing, and also members of your family would
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: turn against you to avoid you leaving or ruining all
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: your credibility if you do leave. So a lot of
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: families would join together. Lea Remedy's mom joined when she
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: was a younger, poor the fantasis, struggling single parent. Then
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: her kids were brought up in the church. But luckily
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: for her, her family all decided at the same time
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: to leave the church together so they couldn't pit family
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: members against one another. But it's super harsh, heartbreaking. So
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: now the scandal of it all or the more scandalo
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: the juicy jef T. So Katie Holmes got married to
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Tom Cruise, So Katie Holmes Dawson's Creek fame, and that's
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: about it pretty much. Think your worth is like five million.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: And she might still be dating Jamie Foxx. I don't know.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: But anyways, at her wedding, Leah Remedy noticed that the
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: new leader, the leader since nineteen eighty six, David Miscavage,
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: his wife Shelley was not at the wedding. But this
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: is a huge event with the most powerful scientologist besides
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: like the founder and the leader, why is it the
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: wife there? So in she was last seeing August two
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: thousand and seven. In August twenty thirteen, Leea Remedy filed
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: the missing person's report regarding Misscavage with the Los Angeles
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: Police Department. The Los Angeles Police Department closed the investigation
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: within hours and described the report as quote unfounded. Some
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: believe that she wanted out and it's either in kind
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: of like a church prison the day.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeh, I've heard about.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: That, or sent to another country or worse. So I
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: I this is just Jeff just assuming here. But you
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: know whatever that the LAPD was bought like give them
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: like hush money to like cover this up a little bit,
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: which from the other way.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: Well even maybe just not all of them, maybe just
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: a few people high up you know who knows you
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: know they money could make people do anything.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yet one hundredercent agree that is.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: A possibility, and these people have so much power. But
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: for listeners, like I said, I only Wikipedia this information,
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: but I have watched a lot of Learemedy series. So
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: it's Learemedy Scientology and the after Mouth, Math after Math.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: There we are. So she does a great job of
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: like interviewing people that have escaped this cold people that
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: used to do horrible things to other people. I think
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: her co host on it used to enforce some of
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: these punishments. Yeah, so so definitely watch that. And then
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: some conflicting stats. The church claims that the church grows
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: over four point four million members each year, while critics
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: of the church say that the number of active members
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: is between twenty five thousand and fifty five thousand. So
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: they're saying the church is saying that they're adding four
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: million people plus each year, while critics of it say
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: it's there's only probably like twenty thousand people in the church.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: Well, one thing too with l Ron Hubbard is he
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: said all this crazy stuff about his life prior, like
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: he was like this genius that got all these awards
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: and he was in college. But then when you went back,
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: when people went back and looked at the college stuff,
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: he ended up like getting kicked out or something like
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: that too. He said that he got the purple heart.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: He never got the purple heart when he was in
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: the military.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Fucked up the end of joker.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah about it.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: He said all this crazy stuff, and like one of
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: his sons that like he didn't really know his dad,
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: very offuse. He said, ninety nine percent of the stuff
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: my dad said isn't true about himself, so that that's crazy,
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: you know, like some of that just is a pathological
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: liar and the people are going to devote their life
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: to and which I get whatever fuck it, you know,
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: but uh, there's a lot of stuff and then just
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: the scientology within itself.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: That their beliefs.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: I guess really it isn't any crazier than any other
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: type of religion, but it's fucking crazy, you know.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: What I mean.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's definitely a more intense aggression than like if
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: you were to leave, you know, if you we're raised
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: Catholic for your entire life and you leave, Yeah, your
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: family might you know, look at you differently or judge you,
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: or maybe not talk to you as much, and like
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: the community of the community might hand a side eye
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: you and not to really talk to you much. This one.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: They go after your employment, they go after they spread
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: wise about you.
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: And I think a good way to like do that
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: too would be like let's say you know your family
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: and your friends. Let's say you're in this Catholic cult
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: and they do that, okay, but like the pope isn't
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: going like, hey, you get that fucking Jeff guy back. Yeah,
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: you know, And that's a little different. Here is the
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: guy running the place, like we can't have these motherfuckers leave.
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: You go find them. So there are subjects of other
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: religions where I feel like that they do that, but
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: not the religion you know in a hole. But the
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: Catholic Church, if I remember correctly, they own more real
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: estate than anybody else in the world, which is fucking nuts.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: They own stocks, crazy.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: Or even like the Mormon Church, they own apartment buildings
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: that apartment buildings are so regulated by the federal government
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: with HUD that you can't discriminate based on X y Z.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: But yet I have firsthand experience of the owners that
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: were part of the Mormon Church saying oh this person's Mormon.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: All o, we're their rent Well that's that's that's illegal,
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah to do, so that's pretty fucked up.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: So you just don't like people helping other people that
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: can't afford to it.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if I if I, if I was renting into
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: like a fellow podcaster, yeah, no I would. I would
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: not allow them because we're number one. We're voting number
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: one by being andy.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: So with just our two cults that we talked about
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: and all the court cults that we know about, if
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: you if you had to join a cult, what cult
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: do you think it'd be?
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: If I had to join a cult? Oh, Scientology?
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: Like I would probably join Scientology too, because I like
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: celebrities and.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: I want to meet them.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: And I think what we would do is we would
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: open up an account under like a fake name or whatever,
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: have someone else, so we put all of our money
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: there so then they can't track our actual money so
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: we won't be seduced into donating all of it, and
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: then we can just meet the celebrity that all we want.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: And I don't really care if like people turn against
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: me or whatever whatever, but so I just want to
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: be who I want to meet. Well, John Shavultz. I
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: want to meet John.
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a lot of questions about grease, and
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: then our name could be Andy Keller.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: There we go, can't follow us.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to hold Tom Cruise like a baby. Okay,
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: so what we're gonna do is I'm gonna like a
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: little baby and then okay, so what I'm gonna do
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: is read you Andy and listener kind of. Uh so, okay,
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: let's start from the beginning. So years ago I got
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: accepted to a community college, no big deal and not
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: a flex whatever, and I had this creative writing teacher
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: that was like, hey, an exercise we can do is
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: just just continue writing. Don't really pick up your pen,
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: don't think about it, just continue writing. So I decided
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: to do that really quick, to to just have fun
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: with creating a cult. So I google shmoogled two things
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: how to start a religion, how to start a cult?
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: And these are just some of the ones I just
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: threw together. Number one STOs to read this freestyle kind
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: of wrap it up, wrap it like anyways. So choose
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: a focus, central theme, idea or person and pick a leader.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: Since Ron Hubbard, I'm going to leave the l out
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: of there was a science fiction writer before he came
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: up with science scientology. I'm going to play to my
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: strengths and focuses and what I'm good at. Since I'm
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: not a nerd and not a you know, musician or magician,
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: I'm good at love. So my cult is going to
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: focus on enforcing love worldwide and perhaps beyond. The symbolic
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: leader of my cult will be my dog, Guscus, whom
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: you can follow out. Guscus underscore the dog bling so
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: number two, create a create a central belief consisting of
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: two or three dogmas, make it fun. The fact that
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Guscus is a symbol of the Love Club working title, well,
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: that already sounds like a fun time. Since I do
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: not know much about book stuff, and I'm still currently
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: not now or not now, but currently fuck, I'm going
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: to lean into one of my strengths, pyramid schemes. I
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: have been recruited into four, almost five of them in
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: my almost twenty years of being an adult. If I
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: mind the time that I've been with Jeremy, my spouse,
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: because he wouldn't tolerate me joining a pyramid scheme, that's
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: about once every five years, I will select the quote
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: chosen few to be on the High Council of Gus.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: These elite few will consist of my personal favorite people.
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: So listener, I know this chaotic energy right now, so
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: like the type that you would invite to like a
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: perfect dinner. So this elite few would be consist of
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: nev Campbell, Miss Juicy Baby, the Queen of Atlanta, Boo
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: New York, Kristen Bell. I just love her, the Black
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: Eyed Peas, Sally Field as she comes up a lot,
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: Tanya Harding, Josh and James Brolin, and finally a legendary journalist,
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: Connie Chung. These celebrities solid, that's a solid.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: You got the respect you got, like the media respect
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: for like Chohnny Kunk, Yeah, Johnny, Connie Chung. You have
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: like the little kids with Frozen with Christy Bell, Christine Bell,
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: Kristen Bell.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: It sounds like you given her a nickname.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: I like that, right, Yeah you got Miss Juicy Baby.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: I mean you got like this is a great greade,
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: this from probably like age three to age one hundred
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: and five.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're given cover the like the talent the we have,
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: like you know, definitely the height variety which I love.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: So these celebrities, as I like to call them, the
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: gusts of injurs will attract the attention of the kind
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: of people that would most likely join a cult center
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: around a dog named Guscas. The quote chosen will both
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: take the fall when the federal investigations begin, and they
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: will recruit mid level SUVs, which stands for the Special
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: Universal Victors. The SUVs will start the best recruiting tool
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: of the nineties, having prizes won on the bottom of
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: bottle cap. Oh nice, Yeah, we will partner with the
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: iced tea company gold Peak. Nice because people that drink
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: gold Peak probably would drink Colts. The winners will shout
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: shout out to my shout out to Falcon, my mother
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: in law because she drinks the gold Peak. I just realized, Okay,
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: The winners will get an an opportunity to meet one
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: of the quote chosen. Then the chosen will convince the winners.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: I really like the third level title called the Winners,
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: because who doesn't want to be a winner. Besides the
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: losers sidebar, you can straight up by awards, medals, et
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: cetera at stores that sell that shit, not like Oscars
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: or Golden Globes or whatever. Why I didn't s at
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: the end or whatever, So there really is not an
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: excuse to be an awardless loser. Is that an award
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: that you bought?
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: No?
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: But I found this and then and then I put
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: this little football guy in because I won my fantasy
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: football fucke Andy.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: Andy's holding up an award. That's a trophy that some
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: might say.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: So oh and.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: Listener, I have a better idea of this. This what
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: I'm bringing to you is kind of what I would
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: call a manifesto. Okay, so our forgot our mission? Oh
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: yeah right, Love enforcing. Love enforcing is our mission. The winners,
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: in exchange to meet and greet with the you know,
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: celebrity of their choices, will spread love by the following
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: by opening doors for people not women because of feminism.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: They will also be required to say hello to people
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: when they pass it by them by shooting a little
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: handgun not a real handgun, but like a pewpu with
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: your you know, your hand. So those are two ways
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: that we're going to hold up open doors for men
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: apparently only, and shoot people with little pton guns. Okay,
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: so number three, design your rituals, give them an enforcer.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: So I really like the whole praying to Allah thing.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: So every every even hour between the hours of six
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: am and nine pm, sixty nine members time. We joke
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: about sixty nine so much, but it's so gross, Okay.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: The members will have to go to Guscus's Instagram every
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: other hour at Guscus underscore the dog blean and do
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: mass shares of his posts, comments, and or create their
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: own content gus approved content. If they miss an hour,
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: they will have to bite themselves. Second, I was writing
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: this NonStop without reading it or thinking about it, like,
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: this is fucked up.
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: It sounds pretty coherent though, which is crazy. You're like,
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: I can I'm still following you.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: Okay. So if they miss, they bite themselves. Second time
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: they miss they have to get a stranger's dog to
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: bite them. The third just go ay rough and then
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: bark and then bite them. The third hour that they
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: miss is the worst thing. They will have to eat
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: a bowl of ketchup that was microwaved a day ago,
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: that's been sitting.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: Out for four hours.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, because there's nothing worse than ketchup.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: Number four, pay attention to the esthetics, you know, the
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: material symbols, and create a secret so Guscus will be
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: on all the merch the hats if you know, you know,
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: and he knows, and we'll do key chains of like
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: Lucky Gus gus feet. If they spread enough love, sixty
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: nine million points is what they have to get. Yeah,
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: they can choose to learn the secret to life or
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: do yoga with Nev Campbell once. I'm not sure how
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: I would get her to join Nev Campbell to join,
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: but I assume she will because she doesn't have that
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: much going on and her kids go to public school,
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: I believe, but I might be wrong.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: That would be that's great to say.
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: Okay, finally, winners of whatever I was talking about will
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: get the experience of a new experience. Oh okay, so
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: the winners will get also that you wait, so you
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: can learn the meaning of life, which I apparently Guscus has.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: That's a really weird thing to say. You can do
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: yoga one time with Nev Campbell, or you can do
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: the new experience that I'm going to discover or discover
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: end and it's a VR like virtual reality called a
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: day in the Life of Christiality. Obviously this up okay. Obviously,
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: prior to her passing r IP again. You get a
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: chance to know what it's like to get a serfer
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: at a buffet fired for looking at you wrong. You
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: get to taste what it's like to put hot dogs
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: on your hamburger and rolled in a family sized pizza
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: and eat that.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: Why did she did she really do that?
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: No? Probably, I don't know.
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: This should be the first one. No.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: Probably you can see it though, right, I see it.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: You can get this is me you could get. You
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: could understand what it feels like to have your own
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: gravitational pull in the atmosphere. Okay, so number five, choose
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: your own role?
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: Who is?
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: Who are you in the religion? Let the followers order
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: that you will fight for them. So my role will
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: be the official translator of Gus Gus. No can understand
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: Gus Gus his wishes and desires more like me, which
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: sounds kind of sexual, But I promise you it's not
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: Gus Gus because this is very asexual. Just listener. Gus
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: Gus promises to spread love and once, once and for
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: all in the evil tyranny? Is that the right word?
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: I depend on what's coming next.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: Of Michelle Trackenberg? Sure, yeah, Seth Myers and Gwyneth Paltrow.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: They're just like, that's like three of the four Horsemen
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: Apocalypse right there, So advertised advertised, advertised perform a miracle,
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: Well adds on Instagram at that that whole thing like
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: them spreading the love every two hours, the soda twist
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: top cap con contest.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: There we are.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: That's a tune twister. And maybe I'm going to bring
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: back blowhorns and finger symbols.
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: Okay, blowhorns like the oh.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: Like the yeah, like our megaphones, like hey, you know,
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: like your idea too okay for the miracle. I was
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: thinking about bringing back the whole cloning thing of the nineties,
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: can remember that, like sheet bitch.
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's like a big thing about cloning. Yeah, Kat
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: Williams says Jamie Fox's clone a clone right now.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: I can believe that. But I was thinking was I
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: could clone thus numerous times, and since clones I don't
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: know if they have souls or not, then I could
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: just murder them, the clones, and then be like, oh,
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: he's still alive, Like you like bash one of the
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: clones like against the wall and then or like yeah,
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: and then and then'd be like to that he's bad.
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: So just like do some magic. People go up to wait,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: but why to.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: Perform a miracle? Okay, goes to a child's birthday party,
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: just like shoot a dog and then I pulled him
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: out of the hat and he's still alive.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: Wait, wait, what the fuck did we sign up for?
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: But then to already be like this is fine, Sally
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: Sally Fields.
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: This is all good.
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: Part the process, and then the slogan because it's kind
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: of a rebuff of Handmaid's telling it to under his eye,
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: under his underbyte because Gus has an underwrite. So anyway,
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: so that's my little Gus Gus cult. So that's pretty chaotic. Yeah,
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: and I like it though, thank you. So listener, if
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: you guys want to join, we have like five hundred
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: something followers already, so way more than that cult you
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: were talking about Heavansgate, you can join Gus's cult at
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: Gus Gus Underscore the Dog on Instagram. Oh yeah, yeah, okay.
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: And for the we're going to close out this episode
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: by we're gonna invent a cult, right now, let's do it.
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: There's a few things we're gonna touch on, So we're
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: going to start with what makes a good leader, and
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: then who are we going to choose for leader.
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: So this is the this is a hardcore manifesto because
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: this is actually happening. Yeah, we're not playing make believe.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: We're not doing imagination like in next week's episode you listen.
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: To you, we bring up solid fields.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah yeah, okay, So who is gonna what's the
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: question with the first one?
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: What makes a good leader? And who are we going
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: to choose for our Okay?
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: So what makes a good leader? You think, Andy?
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: So I think someone that's charismatic, love, that for sure,
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: knowledgeable about something. And I love what you said about
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: the Gus gussing. Uh you're you said that you're not
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: very would you say you weren't.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not really book smart or a magician or I.
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: Know a lot about love, focus on love.
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: So we definitely don't need someone that knows a lot
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: about religion or they could, but we need somebody that
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: knows a lot about something and who's charismatic.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: All of the good ones have been killed, have died already.
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was thinking about what are they doing?
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: Gosh, who could? Who would be a good one? Like
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: do you want like a celebrity?
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: I feel like a celebrity is gonna like, anytime a
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: celebrity starts a new podcast, they already start with, like,
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: you know, a million listeners. Somebody that is a celebrity, okay,
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: because we already got a built in fan base. Someone
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: who's charismatic.
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: Some I say, like Amanda from the subshop down the road,
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: that's not gonna work.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: She's nobody.
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: So I'm not a big fan of this person, but
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: I feel like a lot of people are. So I
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: was thinking about the.
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: Rock, the most electrifying man in all of entertainment, the
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: people's champion.
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: Fucking that's aplause.
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: I mean, he's good looking, he's charismatic, he's in like
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: every movie. Yeah, he's in like every movie. He is religious,
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: you know, he's old enough to where people would listen
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: to him. He's from Hawaii, he's brown or black, not
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: sure what he is, but he's something.
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: So then, oh, he would bring all of those w
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: W fans over and there, like.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: Live WWE fans Like I, you know, I don't really
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: watch wrest anymore, but I would still want to go
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: to those shows. But I love the whole atmosphere wrestling
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: because people like cosplay. They the people who watch wrestling,
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: they already they have a built in I don't want
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: to say follower, but like right when like undertakers, you know,
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: bring the whole crowd knows what's going on, so they
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: already know where the stuff. Yeah, exactly, So I think,
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: and then he might be a great leader.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: I love maybe the rock could be. I'm hands down,
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: I'm on board with that. So I think, yeah, let's
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: get him and I. And he's taking on not just
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: action movies, because I think I read or made up
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: or whatever that he's remaking Schindler's List?
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: What what? Who's he gonna be in it?
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: He's gonna be Schindler. Wow, Yeah, that'd be great.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: He's like really buff tho.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd actually care about that. Maybe it's a great movie.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: It's super fun. Yeah, sorry, it's so bad.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: I get it. You have to be in the right
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: mood to.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah movie, and you have to laugh at everything, because
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: if if we didn't laugh at anything, where would we be?
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: We would be we'd be sad. Yeah, okay, how are
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: we going to afford this cult? Oh? Wow?
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: So I was thinking you actually brought it up great
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: in the Gustcus see too, Pyramid.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: Scheme, pyramids s game?
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: You have to pay your way to the top. I
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: love that.
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, So people what do they get when they when
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: they get to the next level.
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: Well, I was thinking instead of like one time payments,
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: you give percentage of how much you make. So maybe
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: the first level you donate thirty percent, second level sixty percent,
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: full fledged member one hundred percent.
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: I like that. We could probably appropriate I'm not sure
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: if that's the word to use. Appropriate the Sensy pyramid scheme.
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: If you can straight up buy that ship at fred Meyer, Oh,
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: don't poker like you buys wax melts. You don't have
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: to go home a sales consultant to buy those. You
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: can buy those anywhere.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well actually I didn't know that the sense brand.
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: No, no, but like you can pay and you're way cheaper, yeah,
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: like a third of the cost. Man, it's way more convenient.
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: You don't have to small talk with people, and you
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: don't get a sales consultant constantly harassing now.
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: And you don't have to be like, hey, I want
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: you know a coconut flavor, okay, and three weeks.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: To have it?
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you have no idea I smell get or not? Yeah,
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: And it's been sitting in someone's car.
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's already the smells halfway gune. Yeah.
• 47:23
  Speaker 3: So the first level, if you donate thirty percent of
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: your money, if you your your income, you get a SENSI.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: I like that. Yeah.
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: Sorry, So we've got third level equals Sensy Sensy package
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: Sensy for thirty three percent of income. All right, Now
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: we got to think of the second level. What would
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: what would really make.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: You want to like donate more? Maybe what's better than senses?
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: That list is long?
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: H do they have any like pyramid scheme?
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: Was like, you know, like what's the food the health
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: food where you get once a week?
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: Oh uh fresh?
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: Do they have any pyramid schemes like fresh?
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: They pamper chef. All right, so maybe some like knives.
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: Some knives and some cutting boards and tupperware. So yeah,
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: if you donate sixty percent of your yearly income, you
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: can sell che for us.
• 48:25
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: I like where this is going. Okay.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: I like talking to going to strangers houses, sitting on
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: the floor because they don't have chairs, and then listening
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: to somebody talk that doesn't know all about cutting boards,
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: talk about cutting boards and how these ones are better
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: than the one's a dollar jury. Yeah right, but it's Lane.
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: All right, this is gonna have to be the big
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: one because this is one hundred percent of your income.
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: So I think if you give one hundred percent, you
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: get to move in to our compound like that. Yep, yep,
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: and you get to meet the rock of course. Oh yeah,
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: one time.
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: Though, one time.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: But what's it's like the yearly thing that you get.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: Oh you can maybe meet twice who's his little friend
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: that he's in the movies with Kevin Hart? Yeah, you
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: maybe meet him he's not doing anything.
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I maybe.
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: I Well, what if you donate one hundred percent, then
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: you can start the pyramid scheme for scientology.
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: Oh so you start working with So we're gonna we're
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: gonna be acquaintances with scientology.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: We're gonna be one up, one up, we're gonna be
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: one top.
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: So after you get to the top level of scientology,
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: then you're in our group or something.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: That's the annos getting.
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: Too much, Oh, magazine's descriptions.
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: Magazine subscriptions is perfect, yeah, son, like hocakes nowadays.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: So since he his bottom tier, second tier is pampered chef,
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: third tier, the top tier one is magazine's subscriptions.
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: This is perfect and I I say we start at
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: fucking doctor's offices and.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: Give some fun stuff.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: Listener, if you've been to the doctor's office a lot,
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: which probably all listeners have, they do not have good
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: magazines in their waiting rooms anymore.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: So once you get to top tier, we we help
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: you so by saying go to this doctor or go
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: to that doctor, try out this doctor.
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: You know, how are we going to recruit these people?
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: Oh that's a good one.
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: I was thinking bars, maybe like like AA meetings.
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, find people that have dependency issues and have us
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: become their addiction.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: Now you're getting it.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: We're vibing.
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: We also recruit. We'll just put look for people with dependency.
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: Issues, Yeah, that are vulnerable for Oh my god, this
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: is all Are we bad people? I don't know. We
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: can wait outside of like orphanages because when the kids
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: turn eighteen they get kicked out, yes, star, Yeah, but
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: we'll give a place to hang out. And who doesn't
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: want to turn eighteen and get to meet the rock
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: one time?
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: One time.
• 51:08
  Speaker 3: And already's setting them up for future jobs because they're
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: going to be salespeople.
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all stories. To tell later, Like I met
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: the Rock one time.
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: On my eighteenth birthday and then he drove off.
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: And he went tequila and yeah, okay, I like that.
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: Where are we going to be located? Where's our main
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: headquarters going to? Because I think we should have different tiers,
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: like if people want to move in, like if they
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: give thirty three percent, they can live on a compound,
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: but kind of like.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: A shitty one. Oh yeah, slightly better. And then the
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: top one where we live with the Rock.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, so the bottom one when they're selling sense because
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: that's the bottom tier of humanity.
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: Everybody has because the smell, Yeah.
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: Humanity would who would make a pomegranates sent to SENSEI?
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: That's weird.
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: They would probably live in like a converted like Motel six.
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: That's great, converted Motel six. But we do have to
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: have a celebrity to entice them.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: Who's motel Who's a Motel six? Who's a Motel six celebrity?
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: Tom Arnold, Tom, Yeah, I can see that.
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, So the so the very first location you'd
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: live in a redone Motel six.
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds crazy.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: Who's the cousin from the vacation movies.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: Randy Quaid, he can, he can, you can meet him? Yeah, yeah,
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: he should probably be number one.
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so you live in a refursh Motel six with
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: Random Quaid.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's one location. What's the second location?
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: So the second location is you're selling pampered chef forer.
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: So that's a little bit that's a little bit classier,
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: not a lot classier, but it's a little classier.
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: What about like like a like a like a high
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: school that's redone into like a living.
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: Thing and then and the redone could be kind of
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: like Lucy Goosey like it doesn't they can still have
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: the hotel furniture in the in the motel it's a motel,
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: and then the school could still have like the chalkboard up.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: And but like the you don't want to live in
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: the school because they have like a basketball courts.
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they have like.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: A music room so you get a little bit more stuff.
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, a cafeteria so you can do your chef stuff.
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah see.
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you probably have all host parties there.
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: Yep. High school. And I think maybe that one's Tom Marnold.
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: Tom Marnold, Yeah, Tom Marnold is a better version of
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: Randy Quaid's is that Randy Quaid whose name is Randy?
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: That's so?
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: And then the top one, the top location where we
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: just live in a house with the rock.
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: A house with the rock would live with us.
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: He lives on the compound.
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: He lives like in a in a penthouse of what
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: what's a what's a better version of a refurbished school
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: to see?
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: I also want to be like right underneath the rock, Yeah,
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: the rock and talk to us.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're not to the rock yet. Hmmm. What's something
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: that's like like no one likes anymore that we could
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: like take for really cheap?
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: And what are they?
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: What are we selling? Magazine's descriptions.
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: Toys toys? Rust is good?
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, malls malls, mall would be not bad. Mall would
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: be good actually, like the food court. Magazine stands really big,
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: really big, with different different shops in there.
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: Each shop could be a different magazine or something that
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: you maine.
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like a toys toy shop would have a toy
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: magazine advertise. I like a repurposed mall purpose mall. I
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: like that with the rock the rock, Well, he would
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: what repurposed thing would.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: He live in? Probably something was like lifting weights.
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: I guess oh, oh, like like one of those like
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: a trade school.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: He's teaching had a world and stuff. I don't know
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: how to do this. I thought I was not going
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: to meet these people, wonk.
• 55:10
  Speaker 4: H.
• 55:11
  Speaker 3: I don't wonder if we just like bought like like
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: just a normal size.
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: Normal but one that's been like the people has been
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: foreclosed upon. Yeah.
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's like no heat anywhere. Yeah, really cold in
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: the house.
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: The bathroom's outside a house, saying I like that, yeah,
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: like a foreclosed house.
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: Ah, we'll make shanties near a mansion where the rock lives,
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: huge field and we'll just tense tense, tense, but you
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: can to see the rock go in and out of
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: this house.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: Sometimes.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: Wouldn't be inappropriate if we ran out of tent material
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: to create our own almost like teepees.
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, I see what you're said, But just using like
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: blankets and stuff, keep any of them right.
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: Out, it makes it. And then we use like the
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: sheets that are like with the power rangers on um.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So we'll put blanket tps on a field.
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: That's that's where our really devoted followers that aren't gonna
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: selling well.
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: Because we know that they're voted.
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: They don't need anything special because to whatever our main
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: thing is, we know we can trust them and they
• 56:23
  Speaker 3: don't need anything other than I guess looking at the rock,
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: is that what we're selling?
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: I can't remember. Did we say what what our point was? No?
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we were greating to that. Yeah. Do you know,
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: do you think anybody who sells sense is like living
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: a really good life?
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: I don't think so.
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: And I don't think anybody is really making their living
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: off of a sense.
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: All right, So now we're so now we're basically what
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: what are our rules? Okay? And what are we trying
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: to do?
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: So he's really in a fitness I feel like maybe
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: we gotta do something fitness living, long fitness, longevity.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: Or do we want to do population control and be
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: anti fitness.
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: Anti fitness?
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: Hold on, don't be walking that fast steps back, We're
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: gonna do mosy around all right.
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: I like that.
• 57:26
  Speaker 3: I like anti fitness. That's a weird thing to say,
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: anti fitness agenda.
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: And he's like the poster child with like fitness. People
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: are gonna be like I want to be like him.
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: Oh wait, that's well.
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: In the very in the ninth realm of hell, it's
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: ice cold. Oh so based on Dante's Inferno.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: So if people think that that's the standard for men
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: to look like the Rock, they're never gonna achieve it.
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: They're gonna get tired, They're gonna go eat pancakes. Yes,
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: is that what we want to what our stand is
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: anti fitness?
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: I feel like it's anti fitished, But I do feel
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: like one thing we do have to pay taxes so
• 58:06
  Speaker 3: we don't get taken down. I don't think we should
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: have anybody under eighteen and the cult team, no, no, no.
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: We need them to fresh out of them.
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the orphanage with the Rock. So okay, So no
• 58:18
  Speaker 3: one under eighteen, no.
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: One under eighteen, and we're going to pay.
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: Taxes, pay taxes.
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: Maybe no, you have to have cell phones to sell
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: celles and magazines and stuff. Trying to think of one
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: other because you know good rules coming three, so we
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: need one other.
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: So what's our first rule? Pay taxes, pay taxes.
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: Done.
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: No one under eighteen, No one under eighteen, no one
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: over sixty or seven. I feel like the Rocks get
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: Oh he's getting up there. Okay, he might be like
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: I feel.
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: Like he's almost sixty. But if he's the only one. Yeah.
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: No vegetarians, they're there. Don't waste time talking about it.
• 58:55
  Speaker 2: They're going to be healthy too, too healthy. Yeah, no vegetariance,
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: no vegetaria. So we have.
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: No one under eighteen. We have to pay taxes and
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: no vegetarians.
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no vegetarians allowed.
• 59:07
  Speaker 3: Okay, So now we're gonna say what do we do
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: to people who leave the factors? I say, smear campaign.
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: Smear campaign, like literally, yeah, I say we just smear
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: thans on them. Yeah.
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we could smear.
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: Like like pies.
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: I don't know. What if we don't get a good
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: review or a negative review for this, like what is
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: going on?
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: What if we like cut up all their identification like that,
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: Like you don't get a social Yeah, you don't get
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: an ID card.
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: Oh I got it.
• 59:48
  Speaker 3: If they leave, so when you join, you have to
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: give us your Social ID card. When you leave, we
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: give you a different Social ID card for someone that's
• 59:57
  Speaker 3: like awful.
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: Like you know what I mean.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: I'm like, Okay, you can leave, but now you have
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 3: to live as this persons. You have to live as
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 3: Seth Myers.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: People that we hate or did horrible things, like this
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: person killed that lady and he's getting out of prison,
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 3: but now you're him or something like.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: That, like switching up people's identities.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, so if people leave, they have to switch
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 3: their identities or or or will smear.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: And if this backfires and like say, say, uh, Sally leaves,
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: our leaves are cold, and we give her the identity
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: of you know, Henry. They end up meeting and they
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: fall in love. This could be its all. This didn't
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: have romantic comedy out.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: Of this, that's true. Would you imagine going to the person? Listen,
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: I got an idea. We know the rock will do
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: the movie.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: Every other movie, break down the whole magazine thing, and
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: then Sally fields on board to take the identity of
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: another person.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: Sounds crazy, okay, all right?
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: And then at the end we're you're af to revisit
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: like resummarizing.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: Then and then how so you know, like Waco, they
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 3: all killed themselves essentially, well they I don't know, I
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: don't want to get too deep into it, but they
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: got shot at by the government.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: Then there's you know, gun.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 3: Shootout, it's the bummer Heaven's Gate. They killed themselves jonestown.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: So how do we want to end it.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, the climax of it, the climax of it all.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 3: But I don't think we would ever have to as
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 3: long as we're paying taxes and there's no one under eighteen,
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: so we we.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: Could forever go. But we need to back up plan
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: in case we do do something that's like bad or whatever.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: And since we're going to be anti health for population control,
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: if we need to get away, we could power our
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: jets by the diarrhea of arts of our jets, of
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: the people that eat, you know, the taco bells and
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 2: the spaghettios and stuff. Yeah, we could do something like
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: a mass pooping.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, I mean it. I guess we could.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: Give everybody cups of really powerful laxatives like I took
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: from my colonoscope, and then we could just have mass
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: poopings throughout the country.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then people, but you have to go in
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 3: a public place to do it. So then like all
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: over America there's just ship everywhere. It's a good idea,
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 3: So they're gonna put mass pooping this so just so juvenile.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: I'm thirty seven.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 4: Lo.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: Now the last bit, the part, we gotta name.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: It, name it.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, we have a lot going on in
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: this cold.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there are magazines, and we have malls, and we
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: have the Rock.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: And we're going to meet him once, only once, the.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: Very casual meat. He might not even say I'm the Rock.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: He might be like you just like watch the TV.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, go in, just go say hi. He's like, that's
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: a oh that's rock. He was watching Golden Girls.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: Okay, what is it going to be named? Rock? So
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: maybe something with the rock in it, because it's.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: The Rock, Na Dayne, the pain Pain Rock, the pain Away.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: Drangers.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: What words together?
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: I think Dwayne and rangers. I don't know why. Rangers.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 2: That's what our members can be called, our drangers.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, all right, drangers. Get on up over here.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: Here's your magazines for the day, go sell.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: They're just like showing up because all they eat greasy food.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, here's your greasy here's here's a pizza, pizza and
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: your magazine. Now slowly jaunt away and go sellings going
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 3: too fast, you don't want to get your heart rate
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 3: up at all.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: Their destinations for Sally are only down.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: Don't Yeah, we'll pick you up later.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: No, no help, Okay, what's the name, name name.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 3: Name, So we're trying to do population control. We're anti.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: Anti health. Oh, this is the toughest part.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 3: It's twenty twenty five. Don't stay alive, twenty twenty five.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: That's so dark.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: Don't say so dark. I like it.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, So Heaven's Gate was all about alien shit.
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: We're the rock and hotel, motels, okay, motel, and then
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: spaghetios and pizza. There's so much going on here.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 3: Sensees this sin sin sinci, thebola abolishment of sincy.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: Wait, okay, what about the rockers.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: Jeff Andy rock jar jar a jar means open, open
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 3: your heart, a jar a jar heart, fart ship.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: Oh damn it, this is hard. Oh my god. Okay,
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: So Heaven's we need so it's like a noun. We're
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: looking for a noun, right, yeah.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 3: Well I used you could use adjective to you, like
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 3: a stinky, so adjective and a noun. Yeah, the something
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 3: something maybe this the the not, the the out of
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 3: shape of.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 2: My heart, love, pyramid, pyramid, pyramid, the pyramid, rock, the
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: rock pyramid, the pyramid.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: The top of the rock, the pyramid.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: Of love, the pair of the open pyramid.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 3: The open pyramid. And then basically, since we're doing pyramid schemes,
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 3: it's open to the top if you do what you're
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: supposed to do, and then at the top you can
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 3: meet the rock. If the glove don't fit, you gotta quit.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 2: The open pyramid to the rock.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: The open.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 3: So it's specific, isn't agreeing to join us most of
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 3: our ship.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 2: There's a lot riding on the rock. Yeah, well, the rock.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: We could change out the rock for who's someone else
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: who's like super Manly, who's the guy that's like bald
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: who's like the Transporter movies, or like Mega Mega Charlotte, No, no,
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: Mega Mega the meg.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: Jason's David.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we could always replace it with him if
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: we need to.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 3: He doesn't have as much fanfare. But we could just
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 3: start a little bit smaller. Yeah, something with the pyramid
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 3: and the rock. I feel like there's the rocky, the
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 3: rock of the pyramid of rock.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: The trophy trophy pyramid.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 2: We need adjective, so pyramids announce, so it's an adjective
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 2: like Harry, that's really not gonna work. I feel like
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 2: the sloppy pyramid grotest, I know that's uh sinful.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: The sense the top I feel like that because you're
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 3: trying to make your way to isn't that the point
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 3: of to be the top of the pyramid scheme?
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: Or we can always market it as like successful, the
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: successful top of the pyramid. To meet the rock. When
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 2: we have our mass pooping, we needed it to be
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 2: what's the headline?
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: Are you?
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: No, I was going to that into the chap.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 3: Okay, so we got pyramid rock cop pooping, uh Senci magazines, Motel,
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 3: jet packs.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: Jet pack you met like jets they're both cool?
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 3: Uh so put jet andy Jeff?
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: All right, so what if we did mejama pad the
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: jama pad.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 3: I was just trying to do like all those beginning letters,
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 3: majama padum pram maam.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 2: M pirba mad man.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: This is hard. This is gonna be the easiest naming it.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 2: Who's somebody that's like super famous and we get a
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: lot of people to follow, like Reba, So we could
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 2: just like say it's like Reba McIntire.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: No one.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, by selling Sensi chef in magazines.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, we're difficult.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 3: Riba MCMI okay, yeah all Rightaire, Yeah we did it sweet,
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 3: that's okay.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: So I need you?
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I need you to summarize this for me and
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 2: the listener.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 3: All right, so we're going to start a cult called
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 3: uh Riba McIntyre. Uh So the leader of Riba McIntire
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 3: is going to be the rock. The way we're going
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 3: to be able to afford this cult is by selling senses.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: That's the lowest the lowest tier, well, no one makes
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: selling those.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but you have to give us thirty three percent
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 3: of your income. The second part is Pampered Chef. You
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 3: sell pamper chef stuff, but you have to give us
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 3: sixty six percent of your income. And then the very
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 3: top tiers you sell magazine subscriptions and you give us
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 3: one hundred percent.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 4: I like it.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a lot of money in the magazine subscription.
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 2: Sure says right now.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: To recruit, we're going to look for vulnerable people with
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: the issues. That's so funny.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 3: Up, So the very first location is gonna be you're
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 3: gonna live in a Motel six with Randy Quaid. Then
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 3: you're gonna live in a high school with Tom Arnold,
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 3: and then the third one, you're gonna live in tpe's
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 3: made out of blankets on a field.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: But you'll be closer closer to the rock the royalty people.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, oh, and then we'll be called Ribas Ribas
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 5: Ribas and yeah.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 3: Uh so the rules are, we have an anti fitness agenda,
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 3: no one under eighteen, we pay taxes, and no vegetarians.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah uh.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: If you leave, you have to take the identity of
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: another person.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 3: And then when it blows up and we're about to
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 3: get taken out by the government, everybody has to take
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 3: laxatives and ship in public.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 2: Love that.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: It's a great one.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: I think we killed that.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: I think so too. I know what they're gonna do
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: on that.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, everybody like everybody loves Riba.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 1: Everybody like every rock. I mean, two of the biggest
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: stars in our time.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: You know, there's a lot of like his point a
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: is riba point the end destination is is the rock.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of confusing stuff in between. Yeah, and
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 2: you never meet No doesn't know any about this, no
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 2: idea what's going on? So I love this.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: It's great.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: I love this. Listener, ask you know, join us, leave
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: us a five star review if you want to join
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: our Riba McIntire cult that has nothing to do with Riba,
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 2: but we'll just use Yeah, don't keep used with another
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: riba McIntire cult. This is a special one. Uh follow
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 2: us the social media, then it's a waz up and
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: uh follow Guscus on Instagram at Guscus Underscore the Dog
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: if you want to join his cult, And then.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: Make sure you tell your friends about this podcast.
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 3: We don't spend any money on advertising, so all the
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 3: listeners we have, they're actually, I think mainly just by
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 3: word of mouth.
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: So if you can tell one friend, that'd be great.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 2: If you can tell two, that's even better.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if you can tell three, you can instantly move
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 3: to the second tier of our.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because nobody wants to be in the first tear.
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 2: No wants to sell sonc. Okay, until next time. I'm Jeff,
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 2: I'm Andy McIntyre, and we will see you next Tuesday,
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 2: Toby maguire, And that's a wrap.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 3: For this episode of Notable Nostalgia. You hope you enjoyed
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 3: our trip down memory lane just as much as we did.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 3: If you love reminiscing with us, don't forget to subscribe,
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 3: rate and leave a review, and be sure to tune
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 3: in next time for more nostalgic fun. Notable Nostalgia was
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 3: created by Ali j. Warren, produced by Andrew Lipsey and
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 3: edited by Andrew Lipsey. You can find us at Facebook
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 3: dot com, slash Notable Nostalgia, Instagram dot com, slash Notable Nostalgia,
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 3: and shoot us an email at Notable Nostalgia ninety at
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 3: gmail dot com.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: Catch you on the flip side, nostalgia nerds.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 6: You're the secret doctrine. You have to be in the
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 6: church for several years. Stan, Are you ready to hear
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 6: the truth? I guess you see, Stan, there is a
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 6: reason for people feeling sad and depressed, an alien reason.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 6: It all began seventy five million years ago. Back then,
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 6: there was a galactic federation of planets which was ruled
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 6: over by the evil.
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: Lord Sinuh Whoa whoa Whoah. Xenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated, and.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 6: So he rounded up countless aliens from all different planets
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 6: and then had those aliens frozen.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: Whoa.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 6: The frozen alien bodies were loaded onto Xenu's galactic cruisers,
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 6: which looked like DC eights except with rocket engines.
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: The cruisers and.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 6: Their bodies to our planets of Earth and dumped them
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 6: into the volcanoes of Hawaii. The aliens were no longer frozen,
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 6: they were dead.
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: The souls of those aliens.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 6: However, lived on and all floated up towards the sky.
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: But the evil lord Xenu had prepared.
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 2: For this whoah oh wol.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 6: Xenu didn't want their souls to return, and so he
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 6: built giant soul in the sky. Our souls were taken
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 6: to a huge soul brainwashing facility which Xenu had also
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 6: built on Earth. There, the souls were forced to watch
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 6: days of brainwashing material which tricked them into believing a
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 6: false reality. Xenu then released the alien souls, which roamed
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 6: the earth aimlessly.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 1: In a fog of confusion.
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 6: At the dawn of man, the souls finally found bodies
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 6: which they could grab onto.
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 2: They attached themselves to all mankind, which still to this
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 6: Day causes all our fears, our confusions, and our problems.