Latest / ADHD with Confidence | Overcome Anxiety & Self-Doubt, Christian ADHD Coach, ADHD in Women / 149 // How to Get Through the Boring Stuff with ADHD

Transcript

149 // How to Get Through the Boring Stuff with ADHD · ADHD with Confidence | Overcome Anxiety & Self-Doubt, Christian ADHD Coach, ADHD in Women

• 0:00
  A reality that I think a lot of us would like to live without is the fact that
• 0:04
  a lot of things in life that we have to do are boring, but it doesn't change
• 0:09
  the fact that we still have to do them.
• 0:11
  So how do we get through the boring stuff when we have ADHD?
• 0:18
  Are you tired of feeling like you don't fit in? Like you're not good enough the way you are?
• 0:23
  In this podcast, I will give you the strategies to build God-centered confidence
• 0:26
  so you can know in your heart that you do belong.
• 0:29
  You are enough and you are made on purpose and with a purpose.
• 0:33
  Hey, I'm Kelsey Spronk, fellow ADHD mom and entrepreneur.
• 0:37
  Join me in building confidence so you can experience success with ADHD in all areas of your life.
• 0:43
  So go grab yesterday's coffee from the microwave and let's get started.
• 0:47
  Hey friends, welcome to the ADHD with Confidence podcast. I'm your host, Kelsey.
• 0:52
  And today I'm going to talk to you about how to get through the boring stuff when you have ADHD.
• 1:00
  Now, I imagine that nobody really likes boring stuff, but,
• 1:04
  Some have described things that are boring as kryptonite.
• 1:08
  For those of us with ADHD, we run away from it. We hate to be bored.
• 1:13
  We want to be challenged and interested in things.
• 1:16
  And it has to do with things like motivation, the things that motivate us,
• 1:20
  like novelty and interest and, you know, getting to be creative.
• 1:24
  But the reality is that sometimes we have to do boring stuff.
• 1:30
  We need to look through our emails and respond to the important ones.
• 1:35
  We have to, you know, pay taxes and do paperwork. And, you know,
• 1:41
  even just talking about this, I'm thinking, well, I don't want to do this stuff.
• 1:45
  But this system I'm about to share with you, I have found incredibly helpful.
• 1:50
  So I hope you also find it helpful.
• 1:53
  Before I get into it though, don't forget to scroll down and click that follow
• 1:56
  button so you don't miss out on future episodes.
• 2:00
  All right, today I have six tips here to help you get through the boring stuff.
• 2:04
  The first one doesn't seem connected, but I promise it is. I'll explain.
• 2:08
  The first one is I want you to make an inventory of sorts of what is life-giving
• 2:14
  for you. What are you passionate about?
• 2:16
  What are the things that you're excited for? Do you want
• 2:19
  to spend time talking with somebody
• 2:22
  going out for coffee do I to read a book do some artwork play music go for a
• 2:28
  walk do a workout what are the things that are life-giving for you the things
• 2:33
  that if you had extra time these are the things that you would choose to go
• 2:39
  do because you actually enjoy them.
• 2:41
  The reason why this is important, I will share with you in a moment here,
• 2:45
  but it's important to have things that we can look forward to.
• 2:49
  Things that give us energy and joy and excitement in our life.
• 2:53
  We can't just have the boring stuff. We're not going to live a very fulfilling
• 2:59
  or satisfying life if we're just doing the boring stuff.
• 3:03
  Step number two, though, is acceptance. acceptance
• 3:07
  accepting the fact that some things are
• 3:10
  just boring and not focusing
• 3:14
  on trying to change that not trying to
• 3:17
  make it something other than what it is and kind
• 3:20
  of focusing more so on you know and I'll talk about
• 3:22
  this in a couple steps but focusing on what we can do
• 3:25
  after the fact what are the other things that we do enjoy yes there is this
• 3:30
  thing that we don't want to do but that dreading it isn't going to change it
• 3:35
  and that that acceptance can actually make it a little bit less awful if that makes sense.
• 3:44
  Number three is to address the underlying fears so
• 3:47
  sometimes we avoid these things that are boring
• 3:50
  and we kind of amplify them to be worse
• 3:54
  than they actually are and I think a part of this can have
• 3:57
  to do with nervous system dysregulation which I've talked about
• 4:00
  quite a bit lately since talking with jenna free
• 4:03
  i will link the episode below but if
• 4:06
  you are working yourself up about it it
• 4:09
  can it can turn into turn you into a state of freeze where you just stop and
• 4:14
  you're in adhd paralysis so if that's the case i suggest you know awareness
• 4:20
  and then interrupting that like she suggests and you know taking a deep breath
• 4:24
  relaxing your shoulders, slowing your pace,
• 4:29
  reminding yourself one thing at a time. You don't need to do everything.
• 4:33
  Whatever it is that helps you
• 4:35
  come back to a regulated state where your body knows that you are safe.
• 4:40
  Number four, getting through the boring stuff, is consider the cost.
• 4:45
  So by that I mean, what is the cost of not doing the thing?
• 4:50
  Is it wasting mental energy, stressing about it?
• 4:54
  Is it actually going to cost you money if you submit your taxes late?
• 4:58
  It's also important to consider the cost
• 5:01
  of how this affects your self-perception are
• 5:05
  you going to think about yourself in a certain way if you don't follow through
• 5:10
  and get these things done if you avoid them are you going to feel worse about
• 5:14
  yourself so consider that cost and then number five think about how you will
• 5:20
  feel after completing it not just about the task but about yourself.
• 5:24
  How will you feel if you go and you know what, you can set a time frame,
• 5:29
  a parameter and say, you know what, I'm only going to do this for 15 minutes
• 5:32
  and I'm going to check through and respond to emails.
• 5:35
  You can make it smaller, more manageable chunks to make it feel less overwhelming.
• 5:41
  And then in number six, you can plan a reward of what you get to do after.
• 5:47
  And so what I mean by that is when we think about getting through,
• 5:50
  and this is something that Dr.
• 5:52
  Ari Tuckman shared in a recent episode that
• 5:55
  I can link below but when you think about what you
• 5:58
  get to do after it's more motivating to think
• 6:00
  about how can we live a meaningful fulfilling
• 6:05
  life and having these rewards these
• 6:08
  time rewards afterwards can make
• 6:11
  it easier to get through that boring thing knowing that it's a short amount
• 6:15
  of time thinking about how you're going to feel about it after how You're going
• 6:19
  to feel about yourself after maybe you feel like you have done something responsible
• 6:25
  that you can follow through or that you say you're going to do.
• 6:28
  And it will likely feel like a big weight off your chest because I find for
• 6:33
  me the longer I spend putting something off.
• 6:38
  The heavier the weight becomes. And when I remind myself one thing at a time
• 6:44
  and I'm safe, I'm not being chased by a bear.
• 6:49
  This is not actually a danger, even if I don't like things that are boring.
• 6:54
  The sooner I address that thing, the less energy it takes for me to do it.
• 7:02
  So that last one there, and I'll do a recap in a second, that last one there,
• 7:05
  planning your reward for after.
• 7:07
  This is where number one comes in of what is life-giving for you.
• 7:11
  So after you're done this boring thing that you don't want to do,
• 7:13
  what would you like to do after?
• 7:15
  Do you want to read a book? Do you want to go outside, go for a walk,
• 7:20
  talk with a friend, do art of some sort?
• 7:24
  What is it that would be life-giving for you that would fill up your cup afterwards?
• 7:29
  So just as a quick recap, If you're struggling to get through the boring stuff,
• 7:34
  number one, think about what's life-giving for you so you can have something to look forward to.
• 7:39
  Number two, acceptance of the fact that some things in life are just boring.
• 7:45
  Number three, address the underlying fears and dysregulation.
• 7:49
  So a deep breath, slowing down, relaxing your shoulders, reminding yourself that you are safe.
• 7:55
  Number four considering the cost of not
• 7:58
  doing the thing number five think about
• 8:01
  how you will feel after completing it and then
• 8:04
  number six planning a reward of what you get to do after you've completed that
• 8:10
  thing i hope this helps you with getting through the boring stuff that we all
• 8:14
  dread if you would like more advice more tips having to do with living confidently
• 8:19
  with adhd don't forget to click that follow button.
• 8:22
  I look forward to the next episode. Until then, God bless.