Latest / MyMaine Birth / 103. From Fear to Power in Childbirth: Exploring the Shift, Kimberly's Maine Birth Stories

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103. From Fear to Power in Childbirth: Exploring the Shift, Kimberly's Maine Birth Stories · MyMaine Birth

• 0:00
  Kimberly: So I like sprint down the stairs and like bow duke it into the tub and from the time our midwife got here to the time this baby came was like 45 or 50 minutes.
• 0:16
  Kimberly: Like it was very quick.
• 0:18
  Kimberly: All of that to say like the experience was so much better and it was so incredible to like actually like feel like I was like a part of my own birth.
• 0:27
  Kimberly: We like get into this tub and like I could like feel his head drop and like I was like oh, this, like this baby is really coming, like we're.
• 0:36
  Kimberly: Like I was, oh my goodness, like this is it.
• 0:39
  Kimberly: And so we like got him out and it was like what, like an empowering thing to just be, like I like actually can do this, even if it isn't a great time and this totally sucks, and like this is like a thing I can do.
• 0:52
  Kimberly: So he came out and had the cord like wrapped around a couple times, which was also totally like fine, and I it was just such like a, a cool thing to be like.
• 1:03
  Kimberly: Oh wow, I did this and I was so happy, like I was immediately like that's my baby, I did that.
• 1:09
  Kimberly: Like like that's a, I did that, and it was just immediately so much better, like I was in a much better headspace.
• 1:18
  Kimberly: I was so happy, even as we're like all like just hanging out with my sweet little seven pound baby a hundred times over home birth.
• 1:27
  Kimberly: It was so good.
• 1:30
  Angela: I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced doula, childbirth educator and your host here on the my Maine Birth podcast.
• 1:38
  Angela: This is a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine, from our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births.
• 1:51
  Angela: Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
• 1:55
  Angela: Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you in the world of birth.
• 2:10
  Angela: These episodes are for you.
• 2:10
  Angela: Welcome.
• 2:10
  Angela: You are listening to episode 103 of the my Maine Birth podcast.
• 2:12
  Angela: Today's birth story guest is Kimberly, and she is here to share all about her experience birthing at Penn Bay Medical Center in Rockport, maine as a first-time mom, and then about her decision to choose a home birth for her second birth journey and all about what that looked like for her.
• 2:32
  Angela: Hi Kimberly, welcome to my Maine Birth.
• 2:35
  Angela: Thanks for taking the time to chat with me.
• 2:37
  Angela: Absolutely, I'm so excited.
• 2:40
  Angela: So to jump right in, will you start by sharing a little bit about you and your family?
• 2:47
  Kimberly: Yeah, so it's myself, my fiance Cody.
• 2:50
  Kimberly: We have two children that we're in the process of adopting.
• 2:54
  Kimberly: They're four and five.
• 2:56
  Kimberly: And then we had two kids, Ethan just turned three and Asher just turned one.
• 3:01
  Kimberly: We live on like a little farm and do life out here.
• 3:07
  Angela: Awesome.
• 3:07
  Angela: So now will you share a little bit about when you found out you were pregnant for the first time and what your thoughts were in choosing your care.
• 3:18
  Kimberly: So we had been like putting off having a baby for a little while, I'm like.
• 3:23
  Kimberly: We were kind of like hemming and hawing over it for probably two years or close to it, and so we finally pulled the trigger on it.
• 3:31
  Kimberly: I had been on or had had an IUD and for close to a decade or a couple of them, and so we at the time had decided I would get it out.
• 3:40
  Kimberly: And that was like beginning of March maybe, and we kind of figured we would just kind of roll the dice with it and, without you know doing any of the tracking or any of you know the hard stuff, we would just see where life took us and then pick it up in the fall.
• 3:55
  Kimberly: But we got pregnant immediately, which was really lucky.
• 3:59
  Kimberly: I think we were thrilled.
• 4:01
  Kimberly: You know we had waited and waited, so we were so excited.
• 4:05
  Kimberly: We were really hoping we would have a girl.
• 4:08
  Kimberly: That was kind of our like dream scenario no luck.
• 4:12
  Angela: Did you do the testing right away?
• 4:14
  Kimberly: oh yeah, absolutely I.
• 4:15
  Kimberly: So cody is a commercial fisherman, so he's away a lot.
• 4:20
  Kimberly: So he I found out that I was pregnant and he was gone and so I was like, well, I'll just wait until we know what we're going to have.
• 4:29
  Kimberly: And we had like a couple photos scheduled anyway and I was like, oh, this will be like so super cute, right?
• 4:35
  Kimberly: So I waited and wait.
• 4:39
  Kimberly: I had to like hide it from him for like a month.
• 4:41
  Kimberly: It was terrible, ended up being a boy, whatever.
• 4:45
  Kimberly: So we did that whole thing, did our photos.
• 4:49
  Kimberly: He was just so, so excited and so in that we had had basic like care at our like local women's health and I had never thought anything other than that.
• 4:59
  Kimberly: So like that's what we went with.
• 5:01
  Kimberly: We do like live more of like a holistic lifestyle, but the idea of having a baby without an epidural sounded terrible to me, like I couldn't think of anything scarier than that.
• 5:13
  Kimberly: So we really leaned into a hospital birth and I at the time really loved my midwife, nancy Alexander, who is now retired Just very unfortunate for everyone else.
• 5:26
  Kimberly: What part of Maine are you in?
• 5:27
  Kimberly: She was at Penn Bay Women's Health.
• 5:29
  Kimberly: We're in Knox County.
• 5:30
  Kimberly: Yeah, she was the absolute best, but we went that route and that was all right.
• 5:37
  Kimberly: You know pretty generic in terms of care.
• 5:42
  Angela: I think so many women have a lot of fear around the first birth experience and what it's going to be like, and that can have so much to do with the stories that you've heard about birth growing up and the fear and conditioning that is just everywhere, and I was just wondering if you'd be willing to share a little bit about like what types of stories that you heard about birth growing up.
• 6:08
  Kimberly: Um, scary, you know you, having a baby is scary and it hurts, right Like that, that's not a secret, Like it's not a walk in the park per se.
• 6:17
  Kimberly: But there was definitely not.
• 6:20
  Kimberly: There was like no one in my life who was like, oh, this is this magical, empowering, like insert all of those really great words.
• 6:29
  Kimberly: I mean it was a less than ideal experience.
• 6:33
  Kimberly: You know, there was definitely never any like I don't want to say any positive conversation about it, but it was like not, not the way that, like I would look at it now.
• 6:48
  Angela: Yeah, so how are you feeling throughout your pregnancy?
• 6:50
  Kimberly: Incredible, positively incredible.
• 6:52
  Kimberly: I had the best pregnancy my first trimester.
• 6:55
  Kimberly: I was exhausted at the time.
• 6:57
  Kimberly: I was teaching riding lessons so I was like napping on my tack room floor in between lessons 15 minute power naps.
• 7:04
  Kimberly: But once we got past it it was great.
• 7:06
  Kimberly: I, like, very comfortably, went to 42 weeks and could have gone longer without an induction.
• 7:13
  Kimberly: But we were like in terms of Cody's, like fishing schedule.
• 7:17
  Kimberly: It didn't make sense to wait any longer because then he may have not been home.
• 7:22
  Angela: So would you share about the final kind of weeks and then days leading up to your labor and about your birth?
• 7:30
  Kimberly: So we went 40, we hit like the 40 week mark and they took me in and said, well, we could induce you if you want.
• 7:37
  Kimberly: And I said no.
• 7:38
  Kimberly: I said I don't want to be in the hospital for five days.
• 7:41
  Kimberly: At that point I had had the boys, so we were two kids at home.
• 7:44
  Kimberly: I didn't want to be away from them, I didn't want to spend a week in a hospital, hated that plan.
• 7:50
  Kimberly: So I was like, well, we'll wait, I have time.
• 7:52
  Kimberly: So this is 2021.
• 7:57
  Kimberly: My due date was like December 27th, I think.
• 8:00
  Kimberly: So we get through they do like a stress test and everything decide totally fine, life's good, not a big baby, no reason to stress life, Right?
• 8:09
  Kimberly: So we get to the 27th, my due date, or the day after, we all test positive for COVID and they at that point were like if you go into labor and you're positive for COVID, you can't have anybody with you.
• 8:25
  Kimberly: Nobody, nobody, yeah.
• 8:29
  Kimberly: So I was like no way, like I, there's no way I could do that.
• 8:33
  Kimberly: So we ended up being very lucky that I went so far over, because then I could have Cody with me.
• 8:40
  Kimberly: So that like worked out okay.
• 8:43
  Angela: I was that, looking as far as appointments went, like those last two weeks, that you were between 40 and 42.
• 8:49
  Kimberly: Um, I don't, I didn't have any, we had got COVID, so they didn't want me in the office building and there was no reason.
• 8:57
  Kimberly: Like at that point they had been like you can't go over 42 weeks, essentially Like you can, but you can't like this, and so at that point I was pretty ready.
• 9:09
  Kimberly: So we agreed I'd go in on that Monday at like 6.15 to start their like C to fill or whatever.
• 9:18
  Kimberly: And it was a very long process.
• 9:23
  Kimberly: It totally sucked.
• 9:24
  Kimberly: I like wouldn't ever do that again.
• 9:29
  Kimberly: You know we went in for 6 15 in the morning.
• 9:33
  Kimberly: Yeah, made it all day with no progression.
• 9:37
  Kimberly: They tried every method possible you know they're cute and at one point his like heart rate started dropping.
• 9:40
  Kimberly: So, oh, we're gonna ease up or oh, we're gonna do this.
• 9:41
  Kimberly: So it took like all the way until possible.
• 9:42
  Kimberly: You know they're cute.
• 9:43
  Kimberly: And at one point his like heart rate started dropping.
• 9:45
  Kimberly: So oh, we're going to ease up, or oh, we're going to do this.
• 9:47
  Kimberly: So it took like all the way until Tuesday night to like actually get contractions going.
• 9:54
  Kimberly: And at that point we you know we'd already been there 36 hours and it just like the whole experience was such a bummer because there was no, like easing into it.
• 10:06
  Kimberly: I think it was like we sat and wait, sit and wait, sit and wait.
• 10:11
  Kimberly: Oh, three centimeters dilated, which is nothing, you know.
• 10:15
  Kimberly: At the time I was like, cool, we're like on the way, this is great.
• 10:18
  Kimberly: And like, what is three centimeters?
• 10:19
  Kimberly: It's nothing in terms of having a baby, which, at the time, I didn't realize.
• 10:24
  Kimberly: But so by the time we got to Tuesday night and I started having like real contractions, and then they were like, yeah, let's turn on the Pitocin, like, and I was like at that point I'm like, yeah, let's get this going, like I don't want to be here all week.
• 10:38
  Kimberly: So they put on the Pitocin, told me I was at like six or seven centimeters, and I was like about that epidural though, and so we got that guy up.
• 10:50
  Angela: Yeah, those Pitocin contractions are no joke.
• 11:07
  Kimberly: Brutal, absolutely cruel.
• 11:07
  Kimberly: I like I, that was insane.
• 11:08
  Kimberly: So I got my epidural and went to bed.
• 11:09
  Kimberly: They like they took off the pitocin because Ethan's heart rate kept dropping and I slept through the night.
• 11:11
  Kimberly: So 6am rolls around and they're like I slept like a rock and probably the best night of sleep I've ever had, you know.
• 11:18
  Kimberly: And they're like okay, well, now you're nine centimeters and nine and a half, do you want to try to push?
• 11:23
  Kimberly: And I was like, okay, cool, like this is what we're doing, even though, like, I wasn't ready to push, which again is like a like learn later on kind of deal.
• 11:34
  Kimberly: Like why, at nine centimeters, are you asking me to push?
• 11:37
  Kimberly: You don't know what you don't know, and yeah, that's exactly it.
• 11:41
  Kimberly: Um, and then so the time to like actually push came around and at that point my epidural had come out.
• 11:47
  Kimberly: So I went from like not feeling anything at all to being like very much in the thick of it.
• 11:55
  Kimberly: And at that point, like you don't get to choose if you push or not, which is also like a thing that I hadn't expected and so they had to call the doctor and I thought, for sure, like we were going to go for an emergency C-section, which at the time, like it was my worst nightmare.
• 12:12
  Kimberly: Like I was like I like we have kids at home, I have a life to live.
• 12:16
  Kimberly: I can't take a six week recovery because you had to cut me open.
• 12:19
  Kimberly: That's crazy, no way.
• 12:21
  Kimberly: So the doctor come in and is like, yeah, we can totally do this.
• 12:25
  Kimberly: It's like just get this baby out of me.
• 12:26
  Kimberly: He like strolls in, like making jokes, like we're everyone here is having a good time.
• 12:31
  Kimberly: And then this way, it's like the doctor, the pediatrician, four nurses, the midwife, like it's an entire party in here, and like Cody's on one side and this sweet nurse is on the other and everyone's like, oh, just open your eyes.
• 12:49
  Kimberly: And I'm like I don't like what for what?
• 12:51
  Kimberly: Like I don't need to open my eyes to do any of this and part of their progression in like trying there.
• 12:55
  Kimberly: So they put in like a Foley catheter at one point and I guess that somewhere along the way I lost some amniotic fluid.
• 13:01
  Kimberly: So then there wasn't enough.
• 13:03
  Kimberly: So they pumped more into me like which was crazy.
• 13:08
  Kimberly: I was like this is insane and it was like more painful than I could have expected.
• 13:12
  Kimberly: So by the time I was like in labor, ready to push.
• 13:16
  Kimberly: I like it must've been like 10 gallons of fluid came out right after the baby did Cody and I were like sitting there.
• 13:24
  Kimberly: Like fluid came out right after the baby did Cody and I were like sitting there like is it gonna stop?
• 13:28
  Kimberly: Like terrifying.
• 13:29
  Kimberly: But so we go to like Ethan's coming out right.
• 13:31
  Kimberly: They're like okay, two more pushes or like whatever.
• 13:34
  Kimberly: And Ethan came out head out, took a breath, went back in, which is like insane and like statistically the most improbable.
• 13:44
  Kimberly: So at that point they decided they were going to vacuum him out and like between contractions.
• 13:50
  Angela: I mean like, did they give you another contraction before they made that decision?
• 13:53
  Kimberly: I don't even know, because I was so miserable that I was like, get this baby out of me, cut me open, do what you got to do, make it stop.
• 14:02
  Kimberly: Like I was done.
• 14:04
  Kimberly: So they vacuum him out and they're like we're not going to be able to give them to you and not like the whole time I was like I don't care, make it stop.
• 14:15
  Kimberly: Like this is terrible.
• 14:16
  Kimberly: And so they vacuum him out, take him over to their little cart thing.
• 14:19
  Kimberly: Um, and I guess like when I read through the like notes later, like resuscitated him.
• 14:24
  Kimberly: The whole time I had like no idea what was going on and like genuinely didn't care.
• 14:28
  Kimberly: Like because I was just so miserable.
• 14:39
  Kimberly: Um, all was totally fine and he was like the greatest kid ever.
• 14:40
  Kimberly: But it was a really long and like grueling experience.
• 14:43
  Kimberly: Just to like all on the basis that I wanted this epidural because it was going to suck, all for that to like go backwards and him be vacuumed out.
• 14:54
  Angela: And of course they're cutting the cord as soon as he comes out.
• 14:56
  Kimberly: And yeah, because they had to take it to like whatever.
• 14:59
  Kimberly: Yeah, so I guess the issue was like, when he came out and took a breath, like, opened it, like was like very much like a baby who was ready to come out, and then went back in and so like his whole head, yeah, oh, that's crazy.
• 15:16
  Kimberly: Yeah, that's what I was like how does that even happen?
• 15:18
  Kimberly: Like yeah, when, why?
• 15:21
  Kimberly: Like what about what we were doing?
• 15:23
  Kimberly: Was my body like not here for that?
• 15:26
  Angela: it was like, nope, we better keep that in there yeah, well, that wasn't your body, not, you know, naturally like it on all sorts of stuff and days of you know going through that yeah, it was crazy.
• 15:41
  Kimberly: So we survived that day and everything was pretty okay, um, and we, you know, we this like hospital setting, I guess, was not as like cozy as it could have been.
• 15:58
  Kimberly: Like after you know, like even when we had done our like registration, like the woman on the phone because registrations were over the phone at that point because of covid was like okay, like do you plan on breastfeeding?
• 16:11
  Kimberly: And I was like yep, if it like if it works, then yeah, and she was like well, what do you mean if it works?
• 16:15
  Kimberly: And I was like, if, if it works and we can do it, then that's what I want to do, but if something doesn't work and I can't do it, I'm not going to ruin my life over it.
• 16:26
  Kimberly: Um, which was really at the time like how I felt about it, um, and she was like well, of course, like it should work, like okay, cool Cause, that's everybody's story, right, and at that time like I, I didn't know.
• 16:38
  Kimberly: And so she's also like the lactation consultant there, and so she's also like the lactation consultant there.
• 16:44
  Kimberly: And so she was like very in my space and like very, it was very overwhelming and like it was crazy to have all of these people in my space and like a lactation consultant who wanted to tell me that I was doing it wrong, which, like in even three now and still breastfed.
• 17:03
  Kimberly: So like there we're not doing anything wrong, like truly, um, so like just the whole setting I was so eager to get out of there.
• 17:11
  Kimberly: We ended up leaving Thursday afternoon, so we were only there for like four whole days and I had to fight to leave, you know.
• 17:22
  Kimberly: So yeah, that's crazy, that's a long time.
• 17:22
  Angela: Why did you have to?
• 17:23
  Kimberly: fight to leave, you know so yeah, that's crazy.
• 17:24
  Angela: That's a long time.
• 17:25
  Angela: Why did you have to fight to leave?
• 17:28
  Kimberly: Because they thought that we should stay an extra day.
• 17:30
  Kimberly: They I don't know why I don't like.
• 17:33
  Kimberly: They were like oh well, I don't know if he's had enough diapers Okay, well, I think he's fine.
• 17:38
  Kimberly: Like we're going to go.
• 17:39
  Kimberly: Well, I got to call a doctor.
• 17:41
  Kimberly: Okay Well, I got to call a doctor.
• 17:49
  Kimberly: Ok, but we're going to leave.
• 17:50
  Kimberly: So you can bring me the paperwork and I'll sign it, whether it's discharge or AMA paperwork, but we're going to go.
• 17:54
  Kimberly: So, and I at that point I was so over it.
• 17:56
  Kimberly: I wanted to get home to my other kids and like just do life there, like there wasn't anything they were doing for me.
• 18:01
  Kimberly: At one point the first night I like woke up to one of the nurses, like holding my baby, like he wasn't in, like the bassinet, and that like freaked me out.
• 18:11
  Kimberly: After that I was like I can't do this, I can't be here.
• 18:16
  Angela: Wow, yeah, that can be super disorienting.
• 18:19
  Angela: So how was your postpartum time once you got home?
• 18:23
  Kimberly: It was okay Like to start with.
• 18:25
  Kimberly: I would say like it kind of felt like like an adrenaline rush.
• 18:28
  Kimberly: I think Cody was only home for like five days and then I was flying solo with a baby and at the time like an 18 month old and like a three-year-old I think, but it like it was cool.
• 18:41
  Kimberly: I didn't have anyone over, I didn't invite my parents over, my like nobody.
• 18:46
  Kimberly: I was like I need to sit in my cave and figure this out on my own, and that worked really well for us.
• 18:52
  Kimberly: I definitely, somewhere along the way, picked up like some postpartum rage which I had never heard of.
• 18:58
  Kimberly: I was like very well prepared for postpartum depression or baby blues or like being ready to cry all the time, and that didn't happen for me.
• 19:07
  Kimberly: I was like very short-fused and short-tempered and like just yelling and that that was a bummer and not what I had expected.
• 19:17
  Kimberly: So it was kind of tricky to like get around.
• 19:20
  Kimberly: I was also like didn't a super.
• 19:25
  Kimberly: I feel like I had heard or read all these things that were like oh, your baby, you just like love them so much.
• 19:30
  Kimberly: And there's this like instant bond, especially with like breastfeeding and all this stuff, and I was had none of it and I was like, well, this is like he's cute, this is great.
• 19:39
  Kimberly: But it wasn't like what I had pictured, you know.
• 19:43
  Kimberly: But it wasn't like what I had pictured, you know.
• 19:45
  Angela: And that can be affected so much by the birth experience and like the way you're first meeting your baby and all of the drugs that you know I have on board.
• 19:56
  Kimberly: Yeah at the time.
• 19:58
  Kimberly: Like you know, hindsight's 20-20.
• 20:00
  Kimberly: And like that was like a big thing, like I genuinely like didn't like when we had.
• 20:06
  Kimberly: I was like I don't care what happens at this point, like I just like all of this needs to stop.
• 20:10
  Kimberly: And I like now he's three and the greatest thing ever, and I'm like how is it even possible that I could have ever felt that way?
• 20:19
  Angela: Yeah, it's so hard, so hard.
• 20:21
  Angela: So when did you find out you were pregnant now for the second time?
• 20:27
  Kimberly: so we had.
• 20:28
  Kimberly: I knew that we would have at least one more.
• 20:31
  Kimberly: We had always agreed on that, always, always.
• 20:35
  Kimberly: And so, you know, ethan turned one and we were like, okay, maybe we should start thinking about another again.
• 20:42
  Kimberly: Like our older boys are four and five, they're 14 months apart and are like Ethan and Carter are 18 months apart.
• 20:51
  Kimberly: So I knew I didn't want like a huge gap.
• 20:53
  Kimberly: Um, which also just like makes me crazy, because let's just do this like four under four thing, but I really loved it.
• 21:00
  Kimberly: So we started trying for Asher and had what I guess we call a chemical pregnancy, which was a huge bummer.
• 21:09
  Kimberly: So I was like, well, maybe, maybe this is just the universe like telling us it's not our time.
• 21:14
  Kimberly: Lo and behold, like the following month it took and we were again pumped Like we were this is it?
• 21:22
  Kimberly: Like this is going to, we gonna, we're gonna have a girl, like no luck, which is fine.
• 21:27
  Kimberly: But we, you know, we were excited, but we knew going into it that we wanted to do something different.
• 21:35
  Kimberly: I've never spent the night away from Ethan.
• 21:37
  Kimberly: The idea of going and sitting in a hospital or like having to rush around in this, like stressful time, just like, didn't sit right with me.
• 21:45
  Kimberly: So I said you know, I think that I want to try a home birth.
• 21:49
  Kimberly: And Cody said, yeah, I just already assumed we were doing that, great, cool.
• 21:55
  Kimberly: So I like looked around a little bit, looking um, talked to some friends who had had home births and settled on a midwife.
• 22:04
  Kimberly: That's like everything about their website like aligned and was really great.
• 22:09
  Kimberly: So we ended up using Hannah Newman from in the nest, which is now meadow suite midwifery, and like couldn't have loved her more.
• 22:18
  Kimberly: You know, I went in and she had a student midwife there who I just immediately clicked with and was like just like one of those people you meet and you're like, oh OK, like you're where this is home, like this is so cozy and wonderful and I couldn't have to go sit in these like hospital rooms or like whatever it is, and on this table to have someone touch my belly and say, yep, do you have any questions?
• 22:52
  Kimberly: It like it was so personal and like just like meeting one of your girlfriends for coffee and I like I really loved that.
• 22:59
  Kimberly: And if I needed to bring the kids and I did, and like that wasn't an option I had had when I was pregnant with Ethan I couldn't take my kids to appointments which, like, given the fact that their dad is like gone half the time made things really difficult, but it was just entirely different.
• 23:16
  Kimberly: It was like there was so much more care in it.
• 23:19
  Kimberly: You know, it wasn't as transactional as being in a hospital, it was just so much more personal.
• 23:26
  Angela: Yeah, so what were your appointments looking like?
• 23:29
  Angela: Did you find out right away again if it was a boy or a girl?
• 23:33
  Kimberly: Yeah, I don't have like the patience to wait.
• 23:36
  Kimberly: Like I can't stand, like being in the unknown it just kills me.
• 23:41
  Kimberly: I like bought for both of them.
• 23:44
  Kimberly: I bought like the sneak peek tests and or maybe I didn't, maybe I skipped it for Asher because I like at that point I didn't I wanted a girl, but like we were content either way, but as early as I could I was like this is what we're doing so how were you feeling throughout this pregnancy?
• 24:02
  Kimberly: super great again, like the first trimester, huge bummer, and I napped all the time, but I wasn't working at the time and it just happened that Cody got to be home for a lot of that, so I took a lot of naps and got to rest and, you know, do the things that you're supposed to do.
• 24:17
  Kimberly: It was really great.
• 24:18
  Kimberly: And you know, the rest of the pregnancy totally fine, like I really like being pregnant.
• 24:23
  Kimberly: It's not.
• 24:25
  Kimberly: I haven't had an experience.
• 24:27
  Kimberly: That's been super terrible, which obviously I'm very fortunate for and I like very well.
• 24:31
  Kimberly: Could have gone a full 42 weeks.
• 24:33
  Kimberly: I didn't.
• 24:34
  Kimberly: We only went a couple of days over due date and pregnancy was just so easy.
• 24:40
  Angela: Awesome.
• 24:40
  Angela: So did you do any like testing throughout or how did your like kind of appointments look as things progress?
• 24:48
  Kimberly: Yeah.
• 24:48
  Kimberly: So we did like general, like genetic testing with our blood work and like gender testing, all that stuff early on and there was just so much like more choice.
• 24:56
  Kimberly: I remember when I was pregnant with Ethan, they like were really adamant about me getting a flu shot and I was like I don't need to, like I've never had a flu shot, I don't need a flu shot now.
• 25:06
  Kimberly: They're like oh well for the baby.
• 25:08
  Kimberly: And I was like I don't need to, like I've never had a flu shot, I don't need a flu shot now.
• 25:10
  Kimberly: They're like oh well for the baby.
• 25:12
  Kimberly: And I was like is it going to stop my baby from getting the flu?
• 25:15
  Kimberly: I'm like, well, no, it's not.
• 25:16
  Kimberly: Like okay, so no, we're not doing that.
• 25:19
  Kimberly: And the I don't even think Hannah offered me a flu shot.
• 25:23
  Kimberly: I like she was like here are the things we can do.
• 25:25
  Kimberly: Do you want any of these?
• 25:26
  Kimberly: No, okay, didn't think so.
• 25:29
  Kimberly: Moving on and like just the like freedom that came with that without like judgment, like that alone was top notch, you know, but with like the space where, if I wanted to have gone and gotten like a D-tap or gotten whatever like I could have without judgment or like you know, I do have a negative blood type, right.
• 25:54
  Kimberly: So we are like I have a negative blood type and Cody has a positive blood type.
• 25:59
  Kimberly: So we did do like the rogam thing, did you take?
• 26:03
  Angela: it with both pregnancies.
• 26:04
  Angela: Yeah, that's a really personal choice.
• 26:06
  Kimberly: That that's like that's so hard you know, I, yeah, and so like I, the first time I like didn't.
• 26:11
  Kimberly: The way it was like explained to me was like if you don't get this, then your baby could die like very quickly, you wouldn't know.
• 26:20
  Kimberly: And I was like, okay, well, here we go's, that like whatever.
• 26:26
  Kimberly: And on the second one, it was I would say that like I had read things that like could have gone either way on it and I felt like I, in that scenario, I like trusted my midwife enough to say that if, like, that was a thing that she recommended, then I could get on board with it.
• 26:43
  Kimberly: It didn't matter in either situation.
• 26:45
  Kimberly: So, like, both of my babies have negative blood.
• 26:48
  Kimberly: So there's so much to that yes, there is so much to it, but all of it, you know, I like it was more still, so much, more personal and not like this, like cookie cutter kind of care.
• 27:02
  Kimberly: You know it was really great.
• 27:04
  Kimberly: Yeah, that's awesome.
• 27:06
  Angela: So how were the final weeks and then days leading up to your labor and birth go?
• 27:13
  Kimberly: So we were like super chill the whole pregnancy, right, like didn't get any of our stuff together, didn't get anything ready.
• 27:19
  Kimberly: Like we were like we already have three kids, like well, we'll wing it, basically.
• 27:24
  Kimberly: And then we got to like maybe the last week or two, and I started like getting things ready.
• 27:29
  Kimberly: A few days before we went into labor I started having contractions, but not really like false labor, and that I was like it was really consistent and I was like, oh, I can, like this is great, I can do.
• 27:45
  Kimberly: If this is all a contraction, it really is a cakewalk, right?
• 27:50
  Kimberly: No, and then, we got to the morning of actually having this baby and like 9 AM rolled around and I remember we're like sitting on the couch and I was like, hey, I think I think we're going to have this baby today.
• 28:04
  Kimberly: And Cody was like, hmm, you said that yesterday and like, hey, I think I think we're going to have this baby today.
• 28:07
  Kimberly: And Cody was like you said that yesterday and like, but but today?
• 28:12
  Kimberly: And he was like, ok, well, I guess I'm going to go do the dishes then and like got up and went to do the dishes and I was like I'm going to go sit in the bathtub, like this sucks, like I'm going upstairs and you know, I had really wanted like the kids to be around and like had envisioned this like really beautiful home birth.
• 28:30
  Kimberly: Not the case at all.
• 28:32
  Kimberly: It kind of like I don't know I had gone into this like oh, like I had this terrible experience where my epidural fell out and then there was all this pitocin and like I felt all these things, so like I could do anything, like I'm going to take on the world with this.
• 28:44
  Kimberly: This is going to be a cakewalk Wrong and I guess that's like a lot in not knowing and like not actually experiencing like the progression of birth, because now I feel like if I had another baby it would be totally fine, because I like know what to expect more genuinely, what to expect more genuinely.
• 29:09
  Kimberly: But so I I like labored in the tub for a while and like finally called our midwife and I was like here's where we're at.
• 29:13
  Kimberly: And she was like cool, I'm this far away, do you want me to head your way now?
• 29:17
  Kimberly: And I was like I don't know.
• 29:18
  Kimberly: And Cody was like well, when we last time we did this, it took like nine hours after.
• 29:22
  Kimberly: Like she's so far away, we don't want to like interrupt her whole day, right, like she's so far away, we don't want to like interrupt her whole day, right, like she's there's nothing around here, like.
• 29:29
  Kimberly: And so I was like yeah, you're right, you're right.
• 29:31
  Kimberly: And so like I sat on it for like 20 minutes and I was like no, I think that you should probably get here.
• 29:38
  Kimberly: So she like comes out and comes upstairs and is like how are you doing?
• 29:45
  Kimberly: Like, whatever she comes with, like the first of all, like the best energy, um, but also like all of her, like essential oils and like all these she's like here, sniff this like you know all these great things.
• 29:57
  Kimberly: And so she's like okay, do you want me, do you want me to check you, do you want to see, like, where we're at?
• 30:02
  Kimberly: And I was like, yeah, like let me know how close to the end of this I am.
• 30:05
  Kimberly: And so she, she's like, oh, I don't know, like seven and a half or eight.
• 30:09
  Kimberly: And I was like there's no way.
• 30:10
  Kimberly: There's, there's just no way, like we have to be close to the end of this.
• 30:14
  Kimberly: So at that point she's like have you set up the like birthing tub?
• 30:17
  Kimberly: And Cody was like no.
• 30:19
  Kimberly: And she's like, ok, you like do that.
• 30:22
  Kimberly: And at that, and at this point, like he still like doesn't realize that we're like like I meant it when I said we were having a baby at this point, and so he gets it all set up.
• 30:30
  Kimberly: And we had like practice and you know, done the things you're supposed to do.
• 30:33
  Kimberly: And so he's like all right, I got it set up.
• 30:35
  Kimberly: And she's like cool, are you like, is it filling?
• 30:37
  Kimberly: And he's like no.
• 30:38
  Kimberly: And she's like we're like we're having a baby.
• 30:41
  Kimberly: And so we, he gets it filling, and they're, they're like huge, like the like it took a long time.
• 30:47
  Kimberly: And so he didn't.
• 30:48
  Kimberly: It didn't even end up being like filled all the way.
• 30:50
  Kimberly: But I'm like laying in this tub and I was like I, this, this baby's going to come.
• 30:54
  Kimberly: And at like we had hired a birth photographer and I was like I can't have these pictures happen.
• 31:00
  Kimberly: I mean, we have a clawfoot tub, but like I was like I don't want these pictures to come in this tub, and that was like our birth photographer missed the birth anyway, so it didn't matter.
• 31:12
  Kimberly: But I was like all right, after this contraction, I need to get downstairs into this tub.
• 31:17
  Kimberly: And so they're like we can do this here.
• 31:21
  Kimberly: I'm like no, we cannot.
• 31:23
  Kimberly: So I like sprint down the stairs and like bow, duke it into the tub and from the time our midwife got here to the time this baby came was like 45 or 50 minutes, like it was very quick.
• 31:42
  Kimberly: All of that to say like the experience was so much better and it was so incredible to like actually like feel like I was like a part of my own birth.
• 31:51
  Kimberly: We like get into this tub and I could like feel his head drop and like I was like oh, this, like this baby is really coming.
• 31:58
  Kimberly: Like we're, like I was.
• 31:59
  Kimberly: Oh, my goodness, like this is it.
• 32:01
  Kimberly: And so we like got him out and it was like what, like an empowering thing to just be like.
• 32:07
  Kimberly: I like actually can do this, even if it isn't a great time, and this totally sucks, and like this is like a thing I can do.
• 32:15
  Kimberly: So he came out and had the cord like wrapped around a couple of times, which was also totally like fine, and I it was just such like a, a cool thing to be like and I, it was just such like a, a cool thing to be like.
• 32:29
  Kimberly: Oh, wow, I did this and I was so happy, like I was immediately like that's my baby, I did that Like, like that's a, I did that Like.
• 32:36
  Kimberly: And it was just immediately so much better, like I was in a much better headspace.
• 32:42
  Kimberly: I was so happy, even as we're like all like just hanging out like with my sweet little seven pound baby.
• 32:51
  Kimberly: It like a hundred times over home birth natural hormones are so, so powerful it was so good like I, on top of the world, like had this baby.
• 33:03
  Kimberly: We hung out for a while and, you know, birthed the placenta, did this like, got up, walked upstairs, took a shower.
• 33:12
  Kimberly: Like you know, was so cozy at home.
• 33:15
  Kimberly: Half an hour later all my kids like were back.
• 33:18
  Kimberly: My brother had like taken them to disappear for a few and like everyone just like so excited and it just everything about it was so good and just like felt so right that like it just I can't imagine doing anything else.
• 33:34
  Angela: yeah, yeah it's so amazing.
• 33:35
  Angela: So how was your postpartum time this time?
• 33:38
  Kimberly: around.
• 33:39
  Kimberly: So I had seen like this, like naturopath, and that was like my concern.
• 33:44
  Kimberly: I was like I'm gonna have a baby and I'm gonna yell at my kids the whole time like I like how do I get ahead of this?
• 33:51
  Kimberly: And so she had given me a bottle of some or something, something, and was like take like take this or take two, and it made a world of difference.
• 34:01
  Kimberly: So I was definitely able to get ahead of it and that helped a ton.
• 34:05
  Kimberly: But also, I think like having the positive birth experience made a world of difference.
• 34:12
  Kimberly: It definitely like didn't last as long, so like that was everything you know it really does make such a big difference.
• 34:21
  Kimberly: Just have that bond and yeah, I mean, that alone is like enough of a reason to do it.
• 34:30
  Angela: Naturally, you know, it was so much better so now, as a final question, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, what would be the biggest thing you'd want to share?
• 34:46
  Kimberly: I would say to like really lean into, like the women's, like intuitive energy, like really dive deep into that like feminine calling, because like it's such like a powerful thing and I definitely don't think I put enough stock in that the first time it was like I don't know more transactional or like a medical ordeal, like a I don't know like a thing to do, not like an experience to have.
• 35:19
  Angela: Yeah, that's so true.
• 35:21
  Angela: I love that.
• 35:21
  Angela: Well, thank you so much, Kim, for sharing your story today.
• 35:25
  Angela: It's been such a pleasure chatting with you.
• 35:28
  Angela: Absolutely to check out the show notes, because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as the link to access my labor of love, a comprehensive, self-paced online childbirth education course.
• 35:54
  Angela: I created this course specifically for moms who don't want to be told what to do, regardless of where you're birthing or who you're birthing with, and I'd honestly love to teach you everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey.
• 36:13
  Angela: So click to the show notes, check out all of those links and, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main birth over on Instagram.