Latest / Work-Life Balance with Fexingo: Boundaries, Time Management, and Avoiding Career Overload / The Overfunctioning Trap How Doing More Erodes Your Boundaries
Transcript
- Lucas: So I want to talk about something I only recently found a name for, and once I had the name, I saw it everywhere — including in my own career. It's called 'overfunctioning.' Luna: Overfunctioning. I've heard that term in couples therapy contexts, actually. Like one partner doing the emotional work for both. Lucas: Exactly. It migrated into organizational psychology maybe five, six years ago. But a 2025 study from Stanford's organizational behavior group really crystallized it for the workplace. They defined it as 'taking on tasks, decisions, or emotional labor that properly belong to another person or system, often because it feels easier or faster than negotiating a boundary.' Luna: And I bet that hits a nerve for a lot of our listeners. It definitely hits one for me. Lucas: Same. The study tracked 1,200 knowledge workers over three years. People who scored high on overfunctioning measures at the start reported 40 percent more burnout and 30 percent lower career satisfaction by the end. And here's the kicker — their managers rated them as slightly more proactive in year one, but by year three, they were rated as less effective than peers who didn't overfunction. Luna: So it starts looking like initiative, but it becomes a liability. What's the mechanism? Lucas: The researchers identified three patterns. First, the 'I'll just do it' pattern — you take over a task because explaining it to someone else would take longer. Second, the 'I can handle it' pattern — you absorb emotional labor, like managing team morale or smoothing over conflicts that aren't yours. Third, and this one I was guilty of, the 'I'll keep everyone informed' pattern — where you over-communicate, over-document, basically do other people's thinking for them. Luna: The third one — I want to sit with that. Because I think a lot of us have been told that over-communication is a virtue. Lucas: Absolutely. And it is, within reason. But the study found that overfunctioners send roughly 60 percent more internal messages than their peers, and they spend an extra 90 minutes a day on what the researchers called 'coordination overhead.' That's not leadership — that's compensation for an absence of trust or structure. Luna: I want to share a quick personal example. When I was a senior associate at a consulting firm, I used to write these weekly recaps for the entire project team — six people. I thought I was being a leader. I was doing it because the project manager was disorganized, and it felt easier to just do it myself than to address it with him. Lucas: Classic overfunctioning. And did anyone ever ask you to stop? Luna: No. They just let me do it. And I resented it after about six months. But I didn't know how to stop, because by then it was expected. Lucas: That's the trap. The Stanford study called it the 'competence penalty.' The more you overfunction, the more others rely on you to do it, and the harder it is to pull back without seeming like you're dropping the ball. Luna: So what's the alternative? Because I don't want to become the person who says 'not my job' to everything. Lucas: Right, and that's the nuance. The study distinguished between 'proactive helping' and 'overfunctioning.' Proactive helping is a temporary assist that builds capability in others. Overfunctioning is a permanent takeover that atrophies capability in others. Luna: I like that framing. So one is teaching to fish, the other is just fishing for everyone. Lucas: Exactly. The researchers proposed a simple diagnostic question: 'Is this task mine to do, or am I doing it because I don't trust the process or the person?' If it's the latter, you're overfunctioning. Luna: That's good. And I think there's also an emotional component. Overfunctioners often feel a low-grade anxiety when they're not doing something. Like their value is tied to their output. Lucas: The study measured that too. They called it 'role diffusion anxiety' — the fear that if you stop doing extra, you'll become invisible. But the data showed the opposite: people who set clear boundaries were actually rated higher on collaboration and leadership by year three. Luna: So the fix isn't to do less, it's to be more intentional about what you take on. Lucas: Right. The researchers recommended a 'boundary audit' — for one week, track every task you do that isn't clearly yours. Write it down. At the end of the week, you'll have a list. Then for each item, ask: 'What would happen if I stopped doing this?' Often the answer is: someone else would figure it out, or the process would adapt. Luna: I want to try that. But I also wonder about the systemic side. Some workplaces reward overfunctioning — they promote the person who stays late, who answers emails at 10 PM. Lucas: They do. But the Stanford study suggests that those promotions often come with a ceiling. Overfunctioners tend to get stuck in middle management because they haven't built systems or developed people — they've just done everything themselves. Luna: So it's a glass ceiling built by your own habits. That's sobering. Lucas: It is. But it's also empowering, because it means you can change it. The study offered one more tactic I really like: the 'ten percent rule.' When someone asks you to take on something, ask yourself: 'Does this task represent less than ten percent of my weekly capacity?' If yes, consider it. If no, it's a boundary moment. Luna: I think that ten percent threshold is useful because it gives you a concrete number. Otherwise everything feels small in isolation but adds up. Lucas: Exactly. And this is where I think our show's topic — work-life balance — really intersects with overfunctioning. Because overfunctioning isn't just about work tasks. It's also about emotional labor, about managing others' feelings, about absorbing stress that isn't yours. Luna: I've definitely done that in teams — felt responsible for everyone's mood. That's exhausting and it's not sustainable. Lucas: The study called that 'affective overfunctioning' and found it was twice as common among women, which maps onto broader research about emotional labor in the workplace. It's a structural thing, not just an individual habit. Luna: So what do you do if you're in a workplace culture that expects that? Where the norm is to overfunction? Lucas: That's harder. The study suggested a team-level intervention: have a conversation about workload and ownership. Use the term 'overfunctioning' — it's less charged than 'you're not doing your job.' Say, 'I think I've been overfunctioning in this area, and I want to reset expectations.' Luna: I've actually had that conversation. It was awkward at first, but my manager was surprisingly receptive. She said she'd noticed I was doing too much but didn't know how to bring it up. Lucas: That's the thing — your manager might be grateful you're addressing it. The Stanford study found that managers of overfunctioners often feel guilty but don't intervene because the work is getting done. Luna: So by speaking up, you're helping both yourself and your manager. That's a nice reframe. Lucas: Before we wrap, I want to offer one final thought. Overfunctioning often comes from a good place — you care, you're competent, you want to contribute. But the cost is real. And the fix is not to care less. It's to care more about the right things: your own boundaries, your team's capability, and the systems that let everyone do their best work. Luna: That's a great closing thought. And I want to add — if this episode helped you think about your own work patterns, and you want to support the show, we are listener-supported and ad-free. You can find us at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. That kind of support really helps us keep these conversations going. Lucas: Absolutely. And we appreciate every person who chips in. But no pressure — just knowing you're listening and thinking about this stuff is what matters. Luna: So, next time you find yourself doing something that isn't really yours, ask that question: is this mine to do, or am I doing it because I don't trust the process? Lucas: And if it's the latter, maybe try not doing it. See what happens. You might be surprised.