Latest / The Rooted Family / Ep 15 | How We Afford a Family of 9 (Part 2: Practical Ways We Make It Work)

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Ep 15 | How We Afford a Family of 9 (Part 2: Practical Ways We Make It Work) · The Rooted Family

• Christian Cornish: Can I ask you something? When was the last time you actually felt at peace? Not just productive, not just caught up, but settled. Because most of us aren't lacking desire for a slower, deeper life, we're just stuck in the busyness that keeps us rushing right past it. That's why we created the Slow and Savor Society. It's a snail mail club. Yes, it comes straight to your mailbox. It's a simple, tangible way to slow down each month with a piece of art, a cozy recipe, and a letter designed to help you reconnect with what actually ⁓ God, with your family, and with your own soul. if your life has felt full, but not meaningful. This is your invitation to begin again. You can learn more or join us at legacyrootsco.com slash Mel Club. And right now, if you use Code Podcast, you'll get 50 % off your first month so you can try it out. Now back to the episode. If more money solved financial stress, a lot more people would feel at peace, but that's not what we're seeing. And I think that's because peace with money doesn't come from how much you make. It comes from how you manage what you've been given. if you've listened to our last episode, we shared the mindset that shaped our family. But today we wanna get really honest and really practical about what this actually looks like behind the scenes. Because on paper, our life probably shouldn't work. Seven kids, mostly one income, and yet we've experienced a level of peace and stability that doesn't always make sense. So today, we're gonna walk through the actual rhythms, systems, and decisions that have made that possible for us. Yes, I'm so excited for this episode, because I do feel like this is where we're going to get really practical. And hopefully you are able to walk away with something, a nugget that really supports your family in being wise with your finances. And so before we get started, we want to share a review. And this is something new we've been doing on the podcast. Each week we've been sharing a review from one of our listeners, which is such a joy to be able to get those reviews from you. so if you submit a five-star review by May 30th, we are actually going to be giving away some Amazon gift cards. So I'm going to read a review submitted Rachel Reynolds, Around New Year's, God put it on my heart to find a podcast I could listen to regularly about faith, marriage, family, parenting and business. Within a week, I saw Chris and Kayla were launching this podcast, so it was literally an answer to my prayer. Their talks are insightful, relatable and hilarious. Thanks, Rachel. And bring joy, renewed attention to my day. I'm so excited for this podcast to become a personal weekly rhythm for me. Thank you, Rachel. That is a really glowing review. I feel so honored. Yes. So get your reviews on before May 30th, 2026, and we will be notifying you if you won a gift card. So today we are getting super practical. Freedom with money doesn't come from guessing. that is really a big theme of this episode is that those who have money management, it's not by chance, it's not by accident. It is that has been done intentional. And I would say that when I look at other deeply rooted Christian families who ⁓ have peace with their finances, not necessarily have a ton of wealth, but just peace with their money. I would say that they definitely have rhythms and strategies in place, very intentional and strategies that help them to steward their money well. Would you say that is so? ⁓ Yeah. And I would say if you these five strategies we're going to talk about today, you'll start with peace most likely, but over time, you can also build wealth. ⁓ And is a long game. anything you in the short term can so quickly and easily go and can actually circumvent your ⁓ what's great about peace is it gives peace today, but it will also bring peace to you and your family in the long run. ⁓ Yeah, and they're probably people listening that look at our family size in today's economy and think how the heck can they afford seven children? And how can they live in Colorado with seven children? Because Colorado is notoriously expensive to live in. Yeah, it's insane. I mean, truly the increased living expenses that we have experienced since moving here has been shocking sometimes. Yeah, the cost of housing is like over 2x living Wisconsin and it's definitely been close to ⁓ 2x it living in North Carolina. Totally. And our insurance, Insurance is insane. This state has like twice the cost of insurance of most states. Just because you live here, you pay more. Like there's literally no other explanation. Yeah. So, you know, I think that it is interesting. if was looking at our ⁓ family from the outside, I would probably be wondering. ⁓ Okay, ⁓ Did you guys get you know, a sweet inheritance? Yeah, sweet inheritance. how are you really making it? ⁓ And it is true, you said on paper, it probably should not be working out. But Lord has for one been so faithful to us. been so good to provide. everything we've ever needed. know, when you talk about living paycheck to paycheck, there have definitely been where we have lived paycheck to paycheck, ⁓ where we have relied- Or paycheck to no paycheck. Yeah, we've had several months our marriage where you, ⁓ you know, lost your job and we were living off of savings. And, there's even that concept of living below your means ⁓ there have definitely been where we have lived paycheck to paycheck, ⁓ where we have relied- Or paycheck to no paycheck. Yeah, we've had several months our marriage where you, ⁓ you know, lost your job and we were living off of savings. And, there's even that concept of living below your means ⁓ Honestly, there's been a lot of our marriage where living below our means was just trying to pay the bills. Yeah, it was actually just living your means. Yeah. was no opportunity to go below. Honestly, there's been a lot of our marriage where living below our means was just trying to pay the bills. Yeah, it was actually just living your means. Yeah. was no opportunity to go below. You know, so if you're looking at our life from the outside and you're like, wow, you know, they must have it going on living in Colorado and able to. You know, so if you're looking at our life from the outside and you're like, wow, you know, they must have it going on living in Colorado and able to. quote unquote afford all these kids. just have to tell you, we very specific strategies, which we're going to share that have helped us to ⁓ not make it, but to thrive ⁓ with in our finances, even when we had so ⁓ little we did not know how we are going to pay the bills the next month. And we're to share those with you today to hopefully give you some encouragement and a little quote unquote afford all these kids. just have to tell you, we very specific strategies, which we're going to share that have helped us to ⁓ not make it, but to thrive ⁓ with in our finances, even when we had so ⁓ little we did not know how we are going to pay the bills the next month. And we're to share those with you today to hopefully give you some encouragement and a little peek on the inside, peeling back the curtain to show you what we do as people who love the Lord, who want to be deeply rooted in our finances and steward really well. peek on the inside, peeling back the curtain to show you what we do as people who love the Lord, who want to be deeply rooted in our finances and steward really well. Absolutely. Our first strategy is having a monthly budget rhythm. Budget! some of you are already ready to turn this off. doesn't Dave Ramsey say in marriage, there's two people in every marriage. One who hates the budget. The and the spender. Yeah. And then one who ⁓ gets so excited, ⁓ who would rather managing the budget going to Disney World. Yeah. He calls it the nerd ⁓ and the free spirit. That's the word. Yeah. So I'm curious to know in your marriage, who is the nerd and who is the free spirit? you're either probably you know, nerd and free spirit, kind of a healthy combination, or you're either yellow. Both of you are free spirits or you are just like boring, but set up for success for the next 200 years because you're both nerds. That's all very true and really spot on. I think you did an excellent job of explaining that in technical. So let's get back to the budget. I would just say this about a budget. It isn't restrictive. This is about giving your money direction. So it's not to say, hey, you can't do anything fun. It's just ⁓ you're going to take your money throughout the month and then just having a plan for where it should go. And so we do have fun in our budget all time. We have these kids. So kids activities, going places with them, doing fun things is regular part of our budget because we don't want to not do fun things. Recently in our budget was expanding what we have for them to play outside with. So we got one of those playground domes. By the way, those only take like three and a half hours to build if you're interested. I'm sure you're super interested in that. We put a swing hung it from the tree. we got a trampoline for them. ⁓ So You know, just an example, like that's fun stuff for our kids and it was in the budget when we did that. I think there are some keys though, to making this work. ⁓ of the keys is never missing a month. And actually like to hear what the people in the audience think. Put it in the comments. Who you think between Kayla and I are the free spirit and the nerd. ⁓ let me say it might surprise you. It surprises me, to be honest with you, this is not an area we've always done in. ⁓ Sometimes we've always done the budget, but sometimes we don't communicate well it. So we're speaking from a place of. ⁓ Humility very much. Yes, ⁓ or ⁓ done budget, but we haven't always followed the budget Yeah, maybe we get to the end of the month and be like, yeah Well, we overspent way because we weren't watching. Yeah the spending ⁓ so we'll more into the details on that but we definitely don't speak as like We're so perfect and truly like you were the one who did the budget for a long time and I created the budget tool ⁓ and then you I with it for a long, long time. So the tool is not important. Let me say that. You can use Dave Ramsey's every dollar. You can have a spreadsheet. You can use QuickBooks. That's probably a little overcomplicated for somebody's house. Mint, that was the one I meant. Yeah, because we have done a budget. Every single month, I mean, as far back as we have recorded it, it's like 2015. So only a couple years into our marriage, we were doing paper budgets for a very long time. right, we were. The paper budgets from Dave Ramsey. Yep. Then we switched to using an Excel document, which we actually just converted our budget to using the Every Dollar app with Dave Ramsey. Yeah. But up until like a year ago ⁓ we've been using an Excel sheet that we have a new sheet for every month. we just duplicated it. And so if you went into our Excel file, you would literally see every dollar that we wanted to budget and plan for the last almost decade. Yeah. that has really been a huge tool for us. Are we perfect? No. But are we 95 % on track? Yes. Yeah. That's been so incredibly helpful for us month to month. think where the rhythm has gotten stronger is that we are doing weekly check-ins now. So we talk about what did we spend this week? We say, where are we on track? Where are we off track? Is probably the biggest part of that conversation. It's a short discussion too for us each week. What do I think? Maybe 10, 15 minutes at the very most, as long as we've been on it to talk every week. I would say that. we have a longer conversation as a monthly rhythm. And we've done that forever and always, where we sit down at the beginning of the month or the end of a month and talk about what's upcoming for the next budget. And I think that monthly rhythm is a great place to start for those that don't have any rhythm in place with managing their money together as a couple. And then like you said, it has enhanced our money management by having a weekly check-in. life happens. Gosh, there's always something comes up in the month that we were not expecting. And our miscellaneous category usually does not cover these expenses that pop up. We don't put a ton in miscellaneous category. ⁓ And so, ⁓ yeah, I would say the weekly check-ins have been because it helped us to adjust. partway through the month if we need to and make a plan on how do we make this work? Do we go out and find more income? Or do we wait on some categories? Like if we were planning on buying a new piece of furniture, sometimes we have to say, all right, we're gonna not do this decision, this category, and we're gonna put it off for another month or two. Instead of, I think there are a lot of couples that just kinda keep plowing ahead. on what they want to happen for the month or what they want to purchase or the Amazon category gets a little out of hand. Anyone else feel that? Sometimes we look at our budget and we're like, wow, Amazon. We're really supporting Amazon this month. ⁓ also, these subscription ⁓ cancellation services like buy this which will go out and cancel all the stuff you're paying for. I guess I'm going to be honest, I think that sounds so silly to me because yeah, if you don't have a budget and you're not paying attention, you probably have signed up for a lot of stuff. But if you don't want to go pay somebody to go unsubscribe your stuff for you, I mean, just having your budget is so simple and it's a way for us to really have these cost cutting decision moments when we need to and conversations. And subscriptions are a great place where we've had that conversation where we say, do we really need that subscription? Like, hey, we have six TV subscriptions right now, but there's two of them we don't use. ⁓ we should cut those. You can always sign up for them again later if you miss them. ⁓ the questions and conversations like that. Hey, ⁓ look at the grocery budget. You you've at times, hey, I think I can bring the grocery budget down. ⁓ you know, had some really lavish meals in the last couple of months. Maybe I'll just simplify things for a month or two just to bring the budget back down. Rice and beans, beans and rice. conversations like that have been really effective for us too, because it opens the door for that collaboration. So the monthly budget strategy has absolutely shaped our family. What would you say to the person in the relationship who is resistant to budgeting? Because in their brain, they feel like budgeting is too or I would go back to that. The goal of a budget is not to be restrictive or controlling. It's simply for you to say, what do want to do with your money and put it in the right place for that? ⁓ And so not to take away from certain things. It's just to say, hey, we're agreed upon that this is cool, that this is what we're going to do. ⁓ think in a lot of ways, we do that for each other all the time. We're always looking at the budget. ⁓ I think we've even had seasons where we're like, Whoa, this is really restrictive. You know, where could we have some fun, for instance, or loosen up a little, loosen up a little and give each other, you know, different theories out there about giving each other as adults, like spending money, for instance, and how to handle that, that's great, because then you get to go do what you want with it. So there's so many ways to approach ⁓ giving freedom in your budget and still that piece that you told your money where it was gonna go ⁓ instead of letting just fly away. And it's playing the game of what do want your life to look like in 10, 15, 20 years? ⁓ I mean what we choose do today and ⁓ how we frankly waste money today can have a huge impact in limiting your peace and your freedom in the future. Yeah, that's really good. I think that that's the key with the budget is if like you feel like there's any freedom in your budget, then it is gonna be too restrictive. You are gonna ⁓ avoid doing it because it's no longer fun. ⁓ I think it's fun we sit down to do our budget, ⁓ are so clear on where we're going as a family, what our long-term goals are, not just financially, but for our future with the vision of our family and what we're building with our business and the different core values that we have. And we just see money as this vehicle that's gonna get us from A to B. It's gonna be the vehicle that helps us to impact lives And so I think you and I get so excited to sit down and say, all right, Lord, thank you so much for blessing us with X amount of money this month. How do you want us to use it? How can we be good stewards of this money and really just put it in the right places, the right categories to bless our family and to bless our future and bless other people? I think that's really beautifully said. And if you are looking at your budget because you're afraid. ⁓ cause that's a true reality that people have. and you look at it and say, okay, it does feel restricting and I am currently afraid, but this is also your opportunity to turn and say, what can I do about that? Yeah. ⁓ And that does mean in the short term, some difficult decisions about not having certain freedom with your spending and things like that. but then look to the future and say, what future can I create now? And okay, there's a gap. What could I do? It just starts to open your mind. What could I do to fill that gap? What job could help me earn more income? Or what could we cut? Or what could we cut? That's a great way to put it. Yeah, and you know that I think some of our listeners might find this interesting. you're an accountant by trade. And so finance accounting is your background yet you always been the main person ⁓ managing ⁓ family ⁓ You always been very involved in our family finances, but I have been more in the nitty gritty with it ⁓ maybe it's my brain, but I just want to share that because a while I think you and I were frustrated. biblically speaking, you know, I respect you as the leader of our family, the visionary for our family, the, I submit to you as your wife as the Bible asks the wives to submit as you love me as your wife. And so ⁓ think for while I, ⁓ I quote unquote the man should be the one managing the money. ⁓ because I just thought that was the role you're supposed to have. But you and I found ourselves very frustrated by that because you're managing money all day long for your work and you don't necessarily want to come home and manage our personal finances. want to come home and have fun. Yeah, it reminds me of a thing my grandpa pointed out to me when I was a kid, cause he worked on cars a lot ⁓ and he always ⁓ joked about how mechanics drive like complete junkers. but it kind of makes sense. Like you spend all week fixing cars. what's the last thing you want to do when you go to your own home is fix your own car. you're burned out of doing that work. You need to do other stuff or want to do other stuff. yeah, it was a struggle for me to pull up the energy to get through all the details of the nitty gritty, but now we share it. for us, we're finding that us sharing the load almost equally has been the most beneficial ⁓ and we designate who does what. So we look at the budget together. been paying all the bills lately and recording them. in the software But then you're actively at it and you you're reminding me of certain things or asking me certain questions and we're just sharing this load together in this season and it's ⁓ working much better for But I mean, ebbs and flows, that's part of rhythms, right? And certain rhythms have worked us in different seasons. That is the current rhythm that we have been on for a little while and it is working really well. So we're sticking with that rhythm. ⁓ So as an encouragement to you as we wrap up the strategy around budget, you you just have to find a rhythm with the budget that works for you and your family. Don't feel like there's anything you're supposed to do or should do based on the roles of money management in your family, or even based on what you saw your parents doing or your friends are doing. ⁓ no right or wrong necessarily with what ⁓ of the financial management you're doing. ⁓ and to not compare your journey to other people. That's beautifully said. Absolutely. Strategy number two, debt avoidance. payment you eliminate creates margin for what matters most. And has always been our thought process when we first got married. we really had work on this part ⁓ and come to an We've only had one car payment ever. And I say that upfront to say, I think that's the most common debt people carry, even amongst generations now, because our generation does have a lot of college debt. ⁓ I think the before us was a little heavier into the credit card space and credit card debt. I think kids nowadays coming out of high school thinking, why in the world would I go pay so much for college degree? ⁓ so I do think the most common debt is the car payment. But there's so much around that. people don't realize how much they really pay for that car in the end with interest. You can pay like half the value in a car in interest alone. That's so crazy. And you already to fix the thing. it doesn't actually save you any money there. It's not like you can sell it for more like a house. Yeah. And you might even sell the car and still have a remaining debt balance you have to pay. And it's not uncommon for people to go out and be like rolling that debt into future cars. you might be paying for like the car you had one or two cars ago while you're paying for the current car. And it, it just doesn't make a lot of sense. I think the average car payment's like 700 a month right now. I believe it. I mean, that's a significant part of your budget. mean, huge. That can be half your grocery budget, depending on the size of your family. And not everyone has a savings that they can just go out and buy a car. So what would you say to somebody that they're like, oh, that's a great idea. I want to have no car payments, but I don't have the savings to just go out and buy a car. would you say to that? Well, the first thing I would say is ⁓ buy an ⁓ car that like under $5,000. I ⁓ don't know, because can save for that. You could sell what you currently have to get there. If you could pay cash somehow, come up with that ⁓ in some way. they a brand new car or like a newer car right now, they could certainly sell that newer car and free up that cash to then purchase a less expensive vehicle. Yes, and you can always upgrade your car. if you don't have car payments, you can actually just save the money and set it aside. So let's say you took even $500, your, might've been paying the average, which is 700. But if you started saving four or 500 a month over a whole year, plus you sell that cheapo car, right? To get some money back. Boom. Now you can. double how much your car was, right? And you can go out and do the same strategy again, and you can slowly over time upgrade that vehicle if you really, need to. Well, that was our strategy. We just purchased about a year ago a 12 passenger vehicle, because we have such a large family, we needed a larger vehicle. We didn't fit in one. Yeah, and that was our mindset when we bought this new one is that we could have went out and bought a Mercedes for 80 grand, you know, like a gorgeous 12 passenger vehicle, or even we were looking at 12 passenger vehicles that are four wheel drive, which would have been ideal for our Colorado driving, but that even was like 60 grand to get a used four wheel drive. And we didn't have that kind of cash just sitting around for a vehicle. That is something that would not have been a wise decision at the time for us. So we just thought, how can we get a good vehicle, a good 12 passenger that is something that was safe to drive? That's a key. Safe and something that can just get us by for now so that way we can save more money and then hopefully sell the 12 passenger we have. and upgrade it to a four wheel drive in the future. And we came up with a specific strategy, right, around that. Yeah. ⁓ said, wait, we could make do with a cheaper, smaller second car that has four wheel drive. Yeah. ⁓ we don't really ever need all of us in one vehicle at a moment where we need four wheel drive. think sometimes ⁓ you're making decisions like this, you do have to realize you have to die to yourself and some of your desires. it have been really nice to get this nicer vehicle, but we kind of made the sacrifice of we'll do what we can right now. We actually had picked number. we were like, okay, this is our upper limit of what we actually can spend with peace. This is how much we have in savings for this new van. And it was pretty low. when we're looking at the market, we're like, okay, could we actually find a 12 passenger van for this number and pay cash? That would be crazy. And we started about it. okay, Lord, here's what we have. You know what we have. And... we live in a small town We don't even have a dealership in town. So we have to be looking all over the state on Facebook Marketplace and I was calling dealerships up the wazoo trying to find a vehicle and ⁓ put it to prayer and we okay, on Labor Day weekend, we're gonna go up to Denver, which is a five hour drive from our home and we're gonna visit four different dealerships. that have 12 passenger vans, used ones, we're going to trust that the Lord is going to provide this vehicle. And we were pregnant with our seventh baby, we had to get this new vehicle. And it was so cool to see the Lord come through. It was really cool. was the last dealership that we went to in Denver that day. it was like checkbox, checkbox, checkbox. And it was only gone. Yeah, it really was. And yeah, there's even more to that story, but it just comes to show that you can take decisions like this and put them before the Lord. the Bible has a lot to say avoiding debt. So that has a huge ⁓ influence on our decision making. ⁓ So we don't buy furniture on debt. We don't buy ⁓ on debt. We don't buy on debt. had credit cards, we paid them off. I think looking back on history, Even though I came into the marriage with debt, you can go back and listen to our story in earlier episodes around that, we had a very aligned vision early on that we were never gonna take on more debt unless it was buying a house. And I think we've really stuck to that. And I think it's one of the big reasons why we can quote unquote afford a big family because we aren't trying to pay off our a car payment and ⁓ extra. debt from vacations and all the things that you can rack up debt for. Our expenses have been pretty minimal because we've pretty much just paid for housing, utility, groceries. Yeah. When you think back on our journey, we've shared about how we've gone through some hard times. Avoiding debt has been something we've done for a long time. So how would you say that helped us when we were going through some of those hard times? Well, gosh, I think about when you've lost your job unexpectedly twice and we did not have debtors knocking at our door. demanding their payments. Because when you go through a hard time where you lose your income, I mean, that's already stressful. But then you add on if you have all these extra people, other companies and debtors that you owe money to, can imagine that it would put a huge strain on your life. And so I do feel like because we've been so simple in our budget and our expenses, we've lived within our means in that way without going into debt. I do feel like we have carried piece through difficult times ⁓ that those have a tremendous amount of debt. might not have. Yeah. So all this is to say, if you're listening to this and you are carrying debt, I certainly don't want to guilt trip you. I just hope what you hear is that it's worth paying it off yeah, ⁓ it's gonna take some work today. And I just to encourage you can do it. ⁓ I've seen a lot of people with not massive pay off their debt ⁓ and ⁓ a lot of freedom. ⁓ So we it's ⁓ I mean, we're a example of that. ⁓ We off our marriage with a significant amount of debt and we still have a little bit to pay off. ⁓ But I mean, you haven't made over a hundred thousand until just a few years ago. And so we have not had a ton of income for our family size. And yet the Lord has provided a way for us to continue to chipping away at the debt. And I just think we're living proof that yeah, you don't have to make a ton to get debt free. It does require a sacrifice. I think sacrifice really plays into our next strategy. number three, which is meal planning ⁓ you don't need a bigger grocery budget ⁓ just need a better plan I Would be absolutely chaotic and I would spend a ridiculous amount of money if I didn't have you in my life ⁓ I just get like these whims I just want chicken wings tonight All ⁓ right. just want pizza And if I didn't have you, I just like go get that stuff all the time. ⁓ So I'd be fat. ⁓ my gosh. I'd be fatter. ⁓ And I'd just be buying all this ad hoc, kind of pricey ⁓ stuff all honesty, because it just is what I want. ⁓ Yeah. is it a of discipline or is it a lack of cooking skills or a little lack the above. ⁓ All the above. would say that you don't necessarily need good cooking skills to have a plan. I think the plan is that you just know where you're going to be eating out and not eating out. What are you making at home? you have the plan so that you don't go buck wild at the grocery store, spend as much as you want or even go to the grocery store multiple times a week because you just don't know what you're making. It's really about being intentional with the money you're putting towards the food. ⁓ You know, it's interesting. I don't know this exact number, but I remember looking it up a couple years ago. The government actually gives some sort of guideline how much a certain family size should spend food. And it's very fascinating because you can actually go on it today and look at, let's say you're a family four, you can see. ⁓ know, according to a healthy budget, what would be your ⁓ budget? And you could actually plug that number right into your grocery budget if you wanted to. And have always spent significantly less than what the government says we should be spending as a family size of nine. And I think that really speaks to our rhythm of meal planning and how intentional we've been. ⁓ We have talked your ear off about meal planning, so we're not going to go into the nitty gritty today. We actually have a whole episode on meal planning that you can go check out we'll put that link in the show notes. But I just say that you can eliminate decision fatigue in your home simply by a meal plan for the week. with a meal ⁓ I know we've talked a lot about it, but the thing we probably have not emphasized enough is the impact it has on your budget. It really does take you from going to the grocery store and just throwing random stuff in your cart and you get there and it's like, wow, this is $400. I can't believe it. Actually, it's more like Sam's Club in Costco, right? Like those are the two places where you go in there and think, oh, I don't want to spend more than 200. But if you don't go in there with a plan or you didn't order online where you can actually watch your total and ⁓ start cut some stuff out, you can walk out of there with a $600 bill without even trying. ⁓ It's easy. And so that's really the hidden ⁓ gem to planning. ⁓ And that's we bring it up here is because we do most of our shopping online at the local stores, but we ⁓ really have a strong control over our budget because before we ever check out, we know exactly what it's going to cost and we have peace about is that number what we plan for or do we need to adjust to bring that number to where we wanted it to be? You know, it just hit me ordering your groceries online is kind of like having the cash envelope system. It is. Because although we're dealing with you know, digital transactions, you're not really holding the cash in your hand. You almost have the same kind of control over your final total as you would if you went to the grocery store with your cash envelope. ⁓ And I do think that purchasing your groceries in an online app, is that same feeling, because you get to the end and you're like, do I really want to spend $300 right now? And you really have that moment of space and time to check your budget say, did we plan for us to spend this much on groceries this week? Whereas if you're at the grocery store, it's kind of panic, because you have like three kids or five kids hanging on you. crying, they want to go home. You have a line behind you. Yeah. now the grocer just, you know, took however long to bag up all your groceries. And the last thing you want to do is see that number come through and you're like, oh, sorry, we're going to actually have to put back these 20 items to make it work. No, truly. If you don't have a plan, what do you know to take out? So if you're like, oh, I was going to make chicken cordon bleu. I'm going to substitute that for peanut butter and jelly. Sorry, that's extreme. I know. But run with me, but if you're in your online cart, you can just be like, okay, take out the chicken breast. You could go through and pick all the things specific to that meal that you don't need. ⁓ And so it makes the decision of what to take out or where to adjust so much easier. I would agree with that. And so ⁓ I think that if anything, This strategy comes down to having a plan, knowing how much you actually wanna spend on groceries every single month and breaking that down week by week, including eating out, because eating out can suck up your budget. That's another thing with budgeting. It's like, we budget eating out, because we love food. Just because you have a budget doesn't mean that you don't get to enjoy good food. It's just that if we eat out... for our one or two times for the month, then we just are content with saying, all right, that money is done in the budget and we will wait to eat out till the next month. And then the other thing about meal planning is then just following through on your plan for the week so that you don't run to the grocery store and make all these random multiple trips. So like we said, check out the meal planning episode for our full plan on how we do that rhythm. fourth strategy, would be our lifestyle choices. We have made some pretty specific choices around money in our parenting style and just even how we live our life. We live pretty simply. lot of people imagine that with seven kids, our house just must be chaos all the time. Toys everywhere. Or just so many expenses around clothes and in toys and all the needs of seven kids, but because we have this mentality of living simply, we have always been very content with little. we really think about ⁓ when we're gonna bring new things the home. And instead of all of our kids having, an endless amount of shoes, all seven of our kids have, you know, six of our kids, one's a baby, have a tennis of shoe and have a nice shoe and then maybe a sandal. But we don't have like 10 shoes per person. When it comes to devices, could you want to share a little bit about our lifestyle choice around devices and all the electronics our kids have? All of them. Oh, my goodness. So many, I think. There's a Nintendo Switch and I think that's it. There not an iPad you can find around here from before 2012. And ⁓ so yes, they don't work anymore. ⁓ So they make great pretend Yeah. ⁓ But yeah, we just have all the tech. ⁓ We do ⁓ for toys standpoint, have Legos and we have toys around, but we also have like limited storage. So that storage is kind of it. So what you were saying before about how we don't acquire too much, when we get the kids new toys, which they do for Christmas and their birthdays. And sometimes they just buy them themselves with the money that they've earned. We also. get rid of stuff. it's a good habit, I think that you've really brought into our family of, hey, we got a new thing. Maybe let's get rid of this old thing no one's played with in like four years. And I've expanded earlier upon our outdoor life. So we do invest in some things for them to do outdoors. And we love to go hiking. We love to go down to the hot springs. We love to go play down in the river. And we just have that kind of lifestyle where we're going to national parks and we're doing some really fun things that are outdoors and they're awesome. They're amazing. They're super healthy for you and they don't cost us much at all or nothing or nothing. And we, you know, we have hobbies, but we're not huge into expensive hobbies, I guess. we've started to expand the kids into music, but we're not buying thousand dollar guitars and all the amps and we don't have a drum kit. We just have the instruments, you know, that they're getting into now. Well, and I think because We've recognized what our limit is, what our capacity is with our current income. And we could, I'm sure there are some families that go into debt for kids sports, all the travel things that happen with sports and the equipment, ⁓ maybe the vacation. Some parents choose to spend their money on lavish vacations, but you and I recognize, okay, the season of life we're in right now is we're raising young children. income is limited at point and the time we can grow our business. And so what can we do though to give them a full, rich, well-experienced life? And for us, that really comes on to just spending time together. And it's all mostly free. We can still go out into the great outdoors. We did this in Wisconsin when we lived there. We did this in North Carolina. you don't have to live even near national parks to just go and spend time together as a family. ⁓ And I think about the things we do spend money on. I mean, we have a whole closet dedicated to board games. We do. It's our favorite Saturday ⁓ think about the comparison of buying a card game or a board game compared to video game. Yes, a video game. ⁓ for the quality of time is so much better playing a board game than playing a video game. And two, it's not addictive like video games. And they don't costs nearly as much. Even like the really expensive board games are not the cost of a video game. No. So I would say, you know, we just think of different creative ways invest the experiences for our kids. even books, like you and I are huge readers. All of our that can read ⁓ love to read. so the library is a weekly rhythm almost in our family. And then on top of that, mean, we're very willing to buy books for ourselves and for the kids. And so books, you know, are eight to $10. I think it's just being open to different ideas on how you can create a rich and meaningful life without it costing a ton of money or costing you above your means. It's a good way to put it. I'll say this. Please don't chuck your phone if you hear this and you get mad at me. Our kids have not been to Disney yet. ⁓ I say ⁓ intentionally and have not exploded. They don't hate us. I mean, can do it. We all choose where we put our money, right? There's Disney fanatic there. That's the priority. I love Disney. I'm just kidding. I went to Disney a bunch as a kid. So shout out to mom and dad for taking me to Disney a lot. But I was an only child, so it be a little different. I think you make a great point, though, we have we all have different ideas in our head of what makes us a good parent. And sometimes we we think we have to give into our kids desires, which may be very expensive, like getting them the newest video game system every year or getting them the newest phone And I think you and I have just put our foot down and said, okay, we are not going to bend over backwards financially to make these lavish things work. We are good parents, whether or not we do these things And what could we do instead that would still be meaningful? Yeah, I agree with you. Our last strategy is very meaningful, Interestingly, living simply hasn't made us more closed handed. It's done the opposite because our last strategy is to live open handed, to be ⁓ generous generosity isn't something you do later. It's something you build in ⁓ right And actually, know, Dave Ramsey and other financial people teach this as well, that there is something about being generous, and we know this as Christians, is that giving back to the Lord and giving to those around us changes our mindset. ⁓ as a regular rhythm in our life, We get to bless others and we are people who have received generosity in the past. Oh, absolutely. mean, the countless stories. I mean, we could do a whole episode or more on all the ways people have been generous with us. And it truly is so humbling. It's it just reminds me again and again how much the Lord is holding us in his hands. That's such a good way to put it. It really keeps us in that mindset. The Lord holds us in his hands and we don't need to be afraid. And ⁓ I love this season of life we've been in in the last few years where, hey, I've held a job that didn't, you know, let me go or go under, so that's great. And we're in this season where we can just look at each other and say, hey, know of or heard about one of our friends going through a really tough time. ⁓ that came up recently was a miscarriage ⁓ they were really feeling emotionally heavy and things have been difficult the last couple of weeks because of that. And that's totally understandable and we want to tangibly be there for them. So we just buy them a DoorDash gift card. ⁓ it's such a blessing and an honor for us to be able to bless ⁓ someone else in a really tangible way. Totally. Yeah, I think you and I have always had the mindset of we don't have to be in any specific place financially to give. We've we can trust that if we are generous in any season of our life, the Lord will always take care of us. ⁓ we're not encouraging you to be flippant about your finances. I think you can probably tell from the last two episodes, this one and last one, ⁓ we are absolutely encouraging you to be wise with finances. We believe deeply rooted believers are wise and they, ⁓ and they truly do have a plan. ⁓ that honors the Lord. But I think beyond the plan, when it comes to faith, there is this element where logic isn't always there, yet the Lord may call you to being generous, whether it's $10 towards something or something comes up for, yeah, like your friends and you wanna give them $100 in DoorDash, and you simply say, all right, Lord, I'm gonna do this to honor you. And I know we don't have much this month, but I'm going to do it because I feel you putting it on my heart, to do so. ⁓ And I think there is just this ⁓ beauty having the plan, but being willing to divert from the plan when the Holy Spirit moves and asks you to be generous. And I think the best way to do that is honestly just to be rhythmic with it, to not say, well, I'm going to be generous when we have an abundance, but we're just going to be generous people. no matter if we have a little or if we have a lot. Yeah, generosity has always been in the budget. ⁓ If you to go back to that strategy and we always have tithed and then we always have had a line that is just ⁓ needs ⁓ see. like a, like a need pops up throughout the month. And that has over time. But it's always been there, I think is what the idea of it rhythmically being there. And it allows us to have that open hand without the stress. And there have been times we've been felt called to give more. And usually because we've had these other rhythms that we've discussed already, ⁓ it's just a quick, yeah, well, you know, in the budget we were going to buy this extra thing this month. Let's just. put that off to next month and no worries. Like we'd rather be generous to somebody this month. And it makes it quick and easy and living open-handed just allows it to flow out without a second thought. I the big thing too with generosity is not to give with the Like the prosperity gospel like ⁓ you're gonna give and God's give you even more. sure, the Lord could absolutely bless you for being generous and that could be a reward, but we don't give because we're expecting that from Him. Our blessing back could simply be that He is just with us, that He loves us and that He's taking care of us and He's meeting every need. And I would say that we've been so blessed to see Him give even more than we expect, but I definitely don't, we don't give the strategy to you the thought of be generous so that way God increases your finances because he may not bless you in that way specifically, but yet I do believe we're all called to being generous. Yes, we can trust ⁓ that if we let something go that the Lord provide for us as well. ⁓ I think you're very clear about that. And ⁓ really hope that in this episode you see you don't need more money. You just need a more ⁓ rooted ⁓ way of living. And again, ⁓ at end the day, this isn't about having a big family. It's not even about budgeting perfectly or doing everything exactly the way we do it. It's about choosing to live differently, to slow down, to simplify, to actually be intentional with what God has given you because you don't need more money to build a peaceful home. Yeah. hope that you hear us today ⁓ that you just need more clarity, ⁓ around your vision, your goals. Like, what do you want for your family? ⁓ And you need more unity because Christian and I, would not be where we are today without our team mindset in our marriage. rhythms, you need rhythms that actually support the life that you say you want. And I think the real question is, ⁓ What change in your family if you asking the question, can we afford this? ⁓ and started asking, would it take to build a life that actually ⁓ rooted? Thank you so much for joining us today on the Rooted Family podcast. We are so glad you are here. We hope that this conversation just blessed you and encouraged you in some way. This is a heavy topic. This is a topic that there's so much you can do to go out and learn on, but we hope that you learned something today that you can take away right now. ⁓ we look forward to sharing more with you on our next episode. Yeah, see you next time.