Latest / Cumberland Trace Church of Christ (Formerly Lehman Ave Church of Christ) / Parenting Seminar 2026 - "Marriage and Family Background" by Glenn Hitchcock

Transcript

Parenting Seminar 2026 - "Marriage and Family Background" by Glenn Hitchcock · Cumberland Trace Church of Christ (Formerly Lehman Ave Church of Christ)

• 0:03
  All right, everybody feel free to keep eating, but in about 7
• 0:07
  minutes or so we'll get started. I just want to go ahead and introduce Glenn
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  before we do. Thanks for coming out tonight for the parenting seminar. There'll be one
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  lesson tonight, and that lesson will be on the importance of family.
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  I don't think I have to say a lot about Glenn Hitchcock. He's been here
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  though for Equipped every year. He and his wife Mercedes, they have one daughter
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  and And he is a member of the Peninsula Church of Christ, where he
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  also serves as an elder. He's a trained social worker,
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  retired Air Force veteran, done a lot of good work in
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  the church, taught at the university level, has preached,
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  attended the Memphis School of Preaching, and just has a lot of life experience
• 0:43
  and wisdom and biblical knowledge. And we're looking forward to his lesson. So keep eating
• 0:47
  your food or finishing up your conversation, but at 7, he'll get right into his
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  lesson on the importance of family. And again, thanks for being here tonight.
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  A lot of y'all, I know, came right off work and made the time and
• 0:56
  the investment to be here for these lessons, and we really do appreciate it.
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  Thanks. And so in 5 or 6 minutes, it'll be Glenn.
• 1:05
  My name is Glenn Hitchcock. I am the husband of Mercedes Hitchcock.
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  The kids call me Mr. Mercedes.
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  I don't know why. They have a great affinity for
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  Miss Mercedes. And they look at me and go like, oh, okay.
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  We— next week we will be celebrating our 53rd wedding anniversary.
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  She has put up with me that,
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  that long. We do have one
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  child, so you can tell I'm no parenting expert.
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  But we do have a lot of children that we train, raise,
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  and baptized all over the world in
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  many places. Believe me, that doesn't qualify
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  me to get up here to speak to you. And the
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  information I have is voluminous,
• 2:01
  a lot of information. I won't try to beat you up with all that.
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  As I told Hiram, I'll do the best that I can,
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  and it may come to a point where I will just stop and we'll just
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  do questions and answers. I like talking to folks, questions and answers, you know.
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  I do like the— I call it
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  the LTL question. What is it
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  about your child that you like best without saying
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  they obey me? And you have to think of something other than that.
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  And I'll leave that with you for a day or two, and then I'll interview
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  you on your answers, and then we will reveal what I think
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  is God's answer to that question. Things like that,
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  you know. Mercedes is better at that than I am,
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  so ask her all of the questions that I don't get to answer. But thank
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  you for having me. The basis of this lesson tonight is to set you
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  up for all of the things that I probably won't get to for the rest
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  of the weekend. I only have, I think, maybe a couple hours tomorrow.
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  I need at least one more hour, but I'm not complaining.
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  I met with the elders and I told them we can do it like that,
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  so I'm gonna try to do that. So, without further ado,
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  can everybody see that? If I'm in your way, I'll move over here or something
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  like that. I'll do this. How's that?
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  Well, the camera won't see me if I do that. I don't know
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  if I want them to see me, though. I can go over here.
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  I can use this, too.
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  I don't know.
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  In this seminar, I want to overview 6
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  major points about family.
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  And my emphasis here is on the Christian family. I know there are
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  a lot of other families and all, but I— from the standpoint of parenting
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  a society of children that needs help and
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  rigorous godly intervention,
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  we need a Christian family model. And this is where I'll be
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  coming from. And so the beginning
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  by God, structured by God— and
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  we'll look at structure also— I'm introducing you to main points
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  of this seminar. Whether I cover it all or not,
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  I can always maybe come back if I don't mess up here.
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  The boundaries, the parameters, uh,
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  involving the scriptures. The behavior, which is what a lot of folks want to
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  hear about— the behavior. What do I do with this kid?
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  It's about parenting and submission.
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  Submission is the key for, for this seminar,
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  as you'll find out in the lesson tonight.
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  The benefit There's a benefit,
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  believe it or not. Our kids one day will leave our house.
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  They're gonna be promoted to go someplace else and
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  have their own zip code where they can say, this is what my mom
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  would say, this is what my father would say. And they have their own kids
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  and all. So, and then the byproduct,
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  procreation. Your kids will be suitable for somebody else's
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  problem. Not really. They'd be suitable to marry someone
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  else, and they will have their own families.
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  It would repeat itself. It's just a recurring cycle.
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  And I believe this pattern is found in the Word of God.
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  God the protector, God the provider,
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  the protector. God gave us the parameters with the scriptures.
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  God gave parents sense enough to
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  submit to his will, but it's a matter of choice,
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  not coercion. The benefit of promotion or
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  graduating on into society, the byproduct
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  of procreation where we can be able to marry,
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  have children, or procreation from the standpoint
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  of spiritual procreation, where we teach and disciple
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  others to become children of God in the family of God.
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  That's the overview for my seminar.
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  I will definitely try to make sure we hit boundaries
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  and behavior tomorrow. I may not get to some of the others,
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  we'll see. But tonight I want to talk about marriage
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  and family. Marriage and family involves the
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  beginning. Let us make man in our own image.
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  And what's he talking about there? He's talking about something that's
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  beautiful. God caused man to have a deep sleep,
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  and while man slept, God operated on him. He opened his side and
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  he removed the rib, and from that rib,
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  taken from not for— taken from his side, God made woman
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  and placed her at his side.
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  God created an institution that's older than anything
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  else. It's called marriage and the home.
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  Amen. Marriage is a basic institution, a basic
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  commitment, a basic creation of God, ordained by God,
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  sustained by the love of God, directed by the Word of God,
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  and God did this to complete man,
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  and aren't you glad that he did? You don't have to say amen to that,
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  but I'll say amen to that. God looked at
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  everything he had made and said, this is good, this is
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  very good, because he had the basis of what
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  was supposed to be from that point on— the
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  perfect union. The perfect setup.
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  Home. Marriage. The family
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  is an institution that must stand. Why must it
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  stand? Well, God is its originator.
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  Jesus is its hope. The Holy Spirit is its moral
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  regulator. The Bible must be its guide.
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  The good of man is its goal.
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  And the elevation of human society is its chief end.
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  The elevation of society is what the Christian family was
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  placed here to be about. And to be about
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  the Father's business is what this seminar is all about. Let's get busy
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  because I'm— I don't have a lot of time. The biblical standard— I'm
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  going to Ephesians 5, and some of it I'm cutting as I go.
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  You can ask me— I may stop and ask questions, but I'm on my way.
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  So all of us on our own can
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  judge our wealth or poverty by the relationship that
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  we have with others. We are chosen to be rich through good
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  relationships. That includes our kids, that includes our spouses,
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  that includes our brethren, by the way. The spiritual
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  man is concerned about other individuals. Ephesians 5:21,
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  submitting to yourself— submitting yourselves one to another
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  in the fear of God. Now I know submit is a problem
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  for some people. Why is that? Why do some people have a problem with the
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  word submit? This is where you can answer me if you want to.
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  If you don't because you're busy writing, I understand.
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  It's what? It's— she says it's hard.
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  Is it hard, men, to submit to your wife? Or is it hard, ladies,
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  to submit to your husband? Is it hard,
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  men, to submit to your wives? Well, some,
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  some would say yeah. Let's keep going.
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  Here's the point: everybody, regardless of our relationship, has got to— the
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  relationship has got to be based on love for the Lord.
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  If I don't love the Lord, then I'm not going to
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  submit. So I must first learn, learn to submit
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  to who? Jesus, my husband, or my wife?
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  Jesus. I submit to Christ. The key to submission
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  is to God first. And so the
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  biblical standard for submission, to place oneself under by
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  choice, not by coercion, is to submit.
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  When in submission to Jesus, I'm not going to always have
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  my way in every situation.
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  That's hard for some people to understand because we
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  think we can control everything. And I want to get off
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  on this because I could preach a long time on that, but I won't.
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  Now, this thought links the activities of the spiritual-minded
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  person with his relations to other people.
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  If I'm not going to submit, then my
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  relationship to others— there are 3 kinds of relationships: an
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  apathetic relationship, an addictive relationship,
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  and a healthy relationship. Which one
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  you think promotes the healthy relationship?
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  Submission. We submit to one another.
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  We submit to one another because our love for the Lord, and God
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  will take care of things. The Christian who is right in his spiritual nature will
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  be most concerned about his or her relationships
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  that glorify God. Many folks
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  will say, I don't care what anybody thinks or feels, I'm going to do it
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  my way anyway. They fail to remember that the love— that
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  love is doing what is best, even if it is not
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  what I want. Even if it's not what I want.
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  The problem is many have not learned how to love.
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  We don't know how to love yet. Many seem to believe
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  that love is some kissy-touchy-feely type of thing,
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  and they ain't all died yet, folks. They still think that.
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  For a number of years, I wanted to get out of marriage counseling because everybody
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  kept telling me that love is some kissy-feely touch. Oh, I love him,
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  I just can't live without— and I'm saying to myself, please,
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  love doesn't necessarily involve liking something. You must
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  love it even though sometimes you don't like it. This is one of
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  the main problems in marriage, not understanding what Love is as the
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  Lord understands it, and that's why we're in Ephesians 5.
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  Much of our time is involved in making, breaking, and sustaining relationships,
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  but the desire to relate is one of the strongest of human desires.
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  So God lets us know that the quality of our relationships—
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  underscore quality of our relationships— is directly proportional
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  or commensurate with the responsible attitudes that we
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  bring to our relationships. What do we mean by that?
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  The quality of our relationship is proportional
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  to the responsible attitudes that we bring
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  to our relationships. And this is
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  with the Lord,
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  the husband, the wife, and the children.
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  Parent— Christian parenthood is telling good news to our
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  children in the presence of God. That means we
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  have to have a healthy relationship with them, and that relationship
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  is based on our love for
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  the Lord. Some folks say, no, it's my love for my child.
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  No, it's your love for the Lord first. Somebody say,
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  well, it's my love for my wife. I'll do anything for The
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  Lord still comes first.
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  So if you want folks to get along with you, what do you have to
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  be? It's up on the board.
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  I just want to see if y'all alive. You have to be what?
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  You have to be responsible. You have to be responsible.
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  If you want folks to love you, be responsible.
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  If you want your wife to respect you, husbands, be responsible.
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  If you want your husband to respect you, wives, Be responsible.
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  Your personal quotient of responsibility will determine how well people will
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  relate and accept you.
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  This is in the context of the family too. A Christian is not
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  only transformed individually but is transformed toward others.
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  He must learn to treat others right. The Golden Rule.
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  Christianity is not natural in response. It turns the other cheek
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  instead of retaliating. It's not natural.
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  We turn the other cheek. That's not natural. When I was
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  in Memphis, Tennessee as a student in the Memphis School of Preaching, I'd gone to
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  Ohio to preach, and back
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  then we didn't— we had these things
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  called recap tires. Anybody remember those?
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  Recap tires. Well, my cap came off.
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  I took it back to the place where I bought the tire, and he said,
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  you didn't buy that from me. I said, yes, I did, sir.
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  And before I could say anything else, he used a word that I won't say.
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  It starts with an N, and he pointed a Colt .45 right in the middle
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  of my face, and he says, it's time for you to leave.
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  And my good brother, Denny Landon, was with me,
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  and I just froze. Because I
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  was trying to decide how fast I could leave or how fast
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  I could take the gun out of his hand.
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  But I thought about something else.
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  I thought about my example as a Christian.
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  And I listened to the voice of Brother Landon
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  when he said, Glenn, let's go.
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  And I left. But my natural response
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  was to want to retaliate,
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  and I'm here today because I didn't retaliate. I think my wife's happy
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  about that. Let's move on.
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  Christianity therefore governs my relationship. If the gospel is governing the
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  way I treat my spouse, if it is governing the way I treat my child,
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  Parents and others, there is a sacrifice
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  involved. Yes, sometimes I have to give up things
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  in order to sustain my relationship.
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  Listen, if you don't want to take this tire back, you can have it.
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  I don't need it. I want my life. That's more important.
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  But even more so, This is in
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  commensurate with a great mystery of Ephesians 5:31-32.
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  Will someone read that for me right quick? I, I'm sorry, I want
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  to get through this, but I don't want to neglect, neglect reading the scriptures.
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  Ephesians 5:31-32, nice and loud for me.
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  So this is the mystery. Our responsibility to
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  Christ and the church parallels our responsibilities
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  to family. Here it is: all of us submit because
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  of love for the Lord. We talked about that. Families submit
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  to one another because of love for the Lord. The— what the husband submits to
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  the wife because of love for the Lord. The wife
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  submits to the husband because of her love for the Lord.
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  Members submit to elders because of their love for the Lord. I,
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  as an elder in the Lord's church, you know, we,
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  we elder because of
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  our love for the Lord. You submit to the eldership because of your
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  love for the Lord, not because we've got a gun
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  on you, we're trying to force you to do something.
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  This mystery teaches us that submission
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  is a choice that's not— that is not top-down
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  but bottom-up. Based on the Scriptures,
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  we learn how to submit to one another.
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  And you may say, well, there's got to be more to
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  it than that. Well, there is. In this great mystery, 3 things
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  are involved. Number one, leaving.
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  Separating, cleaving, sticking,
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  oneness. Marriage— marriage is about separating
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  from mom and dad,
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  establishing your own place or domicile,
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  sticking to your husband,
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  and sticking to your husband domestically, sexually, and spiritually.
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  Singleness, oneness. It's okay to come back
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  home to mom and dad. You're gonna need them. We live in a world where
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  the extended family, grandparents, are so important in helping us to
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  raise our kids. We couldn't do it without them. You may think you can,
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  and maybe you can, I don't know, but I thank God for grandparents.
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  Amen. Many of us are in the process of
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  leaving Cleveland and won this, but we haven't completed
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  that process. Well, what's the problem?
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  Many make vows, but often what we really mean is,
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  I stay as long as the rent is paid or
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  the mortgage is paid, the lights are on, food is available, and he's not
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  acting like a fool. That's about it.
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  We don't remember for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, till death
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  do us part. We don't— that— they take that out nowadays.
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  And when they do that, we're forgetting sticking,
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  separating, and singleness.
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  Marriage involves leaving, cleaving, and oneness. Am I going too fast?
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  If Mercedes comes into this marriage as Mercedes Dawson— that's
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  her maiden name— I have a problem because
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  she hasn't left home yet. What is she doing?
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  She's still sticking home.
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  I want to stay home. I, you know, I, I love you, I want to
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  marry you, but I want, I want to stay with mom and dad. Well,
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  you can't have it both ways. Something's got to go.
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  You have to leave home and cleave to your husband.
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  Don't cleave to your parents and your husband. Doesn't say
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  that. Respect them, but there's a line of demarcation
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  that God says You need to leave.
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  When God told Abraham and Sarah to leave Ur of the Chaldees,
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  they didn't bring Haran with them. They left. Can you
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  imagine that conversation? Abraham comes to Sarah and says, Sarah, we're leaving.
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  For what? God told us to. Where are we going? I don't know, but we're
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  leaving. You think Sarah submitted to that?
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  Yeah. Why? Because Abraham submitted to God,
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  and she loved Abraham, and Abraham communicated to her the fact that he
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  loves her, and she trusted him, and by faith they went.
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  They don't do that today like they used to back then.
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  But if she comes in that marriage as
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  Mercedes Dawson instead of Mercedes Hitchcock, I've got a problem.
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  Y'all quiet on that one. How can you have 2 people who
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  are diametrically opposed to each other, like oil and vinegar or oil and water,
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  and they get married because of a view that opposites attract?
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  Ridiculous. Romance and
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  reality are as far apart as day and night. A lot of us got
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  caught up in romance and we didn't see the reality of what we were doing.
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  Until it was too late to do anything about it.
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  I was kind of like that, but thank God I had a wife that knew
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  something about the Scriptures and was able to be patient and work with this old
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  windbag. Many make the most important
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  decisions of their lives when we are ill-equipped to make them because
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  we're still sticking. We're not leaving,
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  we're not cleaving.
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  So I advocate— and this is— boy, if my young people were here,
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  I sit them down and I show them this. I advocate long courtships.
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  Now, as a disclaimer, Brother Hiram,
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  I want y'all to know this: I
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  met and married my wife in 41 days.
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  It would have been 11 except I had to go back to the base for
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  a month. Okay, don't tell the kids that.
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  Can you wake up and see her hair in rollers?
• 23:31
  Can you stand the smell of his breath in the morning? Can you
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  listen to her snore at night? Can you eat her food? Can you live with
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  this person until you die? You think about that
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  before you said I do? No, Brother Glenn,
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  we were in love. Well, you— some may have
• 23:50
  been in love, but I was in lust. I married a beautiful
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  pair of legs, and I thought, we gonna make this work, baby.
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  You are about to do the most profound thing that 2 people can do,
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  and that's trying to live together in the same house for the rest of your
• 24:08
  life. And many of us don't think about this.
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  We leave the world, we are united together, our covenant relationship
• 24:16
  with Jesus Christ, and Soul— body, soul, and spirit.
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  These 2 people are intertwined, they are mingled together, and a
• 24:23
  threefold cord is not easily broken. What do we mean by that?
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  The problem of marriages are with people who will not leave,
• 24:32
  cleave, and they never had the oneness. They just move
• 24:35
  in and become roommates, and marriages
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  are breaking apart because of this. And families with
• 24:44
  small children are confused by it, and children
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  want answers. So the problem surfaces— is
• 24:54
  it working? So the problem surfaces as people refuse to submit because
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  of respect and love for the Lord.
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  Our relationships therefore are built on service. How you carry
• 25:07
  this out? The Bible says, but not
• 25:11
  so among you. On the contrary, he who is greatest among you, let him be
• 25:15
  as your younger— as the younger, and he
• 25:19
  who governs as he who serves. For who
• 25:23
  is greater, he who sits at the table or he who serves?
• 25:27
  Is it not he who sits at the table? Yet the Lord
• 25:31
  says, I am among you as the one who— what?
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  Serves. Here's the point: husbands,
• 25:44
  wives, grandparents, children,
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  single parents, blended families, all families,
• 25:55
  everyone who's a child of God— relationships
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  are built on service. As we love the Lord and are being responsible.
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  When one has respect for Jesus, he has a whole new insight
• 26:09
  into the nature of his or her relationship. He surrenders his
• 26:13
  ego-centered desire for dominance in the relationship and accepts
• 26:17
  the role of one who serves. Ooh, time's flying.
• 26:21
  Why? One reason, out of respect and
• 26:25
  love God's Son,
• 26:29
  Jesus Christ. So selfishness ends where
• 26:33
  service begins. When we have respect
• 26:36
  for him, we can submit ourselves.
• 26:41
  Let me stop there for a moment. Any questions?
• 26:48
  I love you. What does it mean to submit?
• 26:51
  See how people stayed married or submit or sit Subjected
• 26:55
  to one another. It often occurs in the New Testament. It does not mean
• 26:59
  seeking dominance. In 1 Corinthians 16:16, the Corinthians
• 27:03
  were called to submit themselves to believers with a record of service like Stephanas.
• 27:08
  1 Peter 5:5, young men are told to submit unto the older.
• 27:12
  They are to recognize their superior experience and wisdom
• 27:16
  when they act as competent examples. They are to serve
• 27:20
  or submit unto their experience, to place themselves under them for
• 27:24
  the experience, because of their experience.
• 27:28
  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.
• 27:32
  When you submit to your husband, you submit as if your husband—
• 27:37
  I know you can't believe this— is the Lord. Your love for
• 27:41
  the Lord, your love for your husband should mirror one another.
• 27:47
  Husband is the head of the wife. He must also read verse 24,
• 27:51
  because sometimes We get a little arrogant there.
• 27:55
  Not any kind of head like some old praying rooster, but a submissive
• 27:59
  head because of our love for the Lord. And that's so important.
• 28:03
  You know, I wish I had more time to talk about that because back
• 28:08
  in the '80s when we were working in family
• 28:11
  abuse, violent shelters and stuff like that, we had the kids program
• 28:15
  and then we were dealing with some of the the victims
• 28:19
  of spousal abuse. I was one of 3 guys that was there.
• 28:22
  My wife was there with me as well and all, but a
• 28:27
  lot of this macho man stuff came in and I was trying to deal with
• 28:32
  it from the scriptures. And of course, a lot of these fellas, they don't know
• 28:35
  anything about the Bible. All they know is what they brought to the relationship,
• 28:40
  and the baggage they unpacked was just atrocious, you know. But If
• 28:45
  folks can learn submission and learn the
• 28:49
  love for Christ, they won't be so
• 28:53
  arrogant. So what is involved in headship?
• 28:58
  And I had to learn this. I don't
• 29:02
  speak as a professional on this one, but as head of
• 29:05
  the family, there is a path to happiness. Amen.
• 29:09
  There are happy families in this world among
• 29:14
  brothers and sisters in Christ because of proper
• 29:17
  headship. And again, as I said before, I say
• 29:21
  it again, all ought to submit ourselves unto the
• 29:25
  Lord. Ephesians 5:21. The husband
• 29:29
  is the initiator. What is the— what does initiator mean? When you
• 29:33
  initiate something. He's a starter.
• 29:37
  When I crewed bombers and tankers in the Air Force,
• 29:42
  we had to initiate engine start off an alert pad with a cartridge
• 29:46
  starter. And it
• 29:49
  was the initiator of all the action. When that klaxon go off and we're
• 29:52
  running for an alert call, I call number 4 engine
• 29:57
  start, and that cartridge will fire off.
• 30:00
  And that bomber or that tanker will fire up and we're ready to roll in
• 30:05
  less than a minute's time. Why? Because that cartridge
• 30:09
  starter was the initiator of
• 30:13
  all the action that will follow thereafter.
• 30:17
  Husbands, you are the initiator of love in
• 30:20
  the house. Look at Ephesians 5:23. Someone else read that
• 30:25
  for me. Ephesians 5:23.
• 30:26
  For the
• 30:30
  husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the
• 30:33
  church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Thank you.
• 30:38
  He is the initiator.
• 30:41
  He is the head of the house. He is the initiator
• 30:45
  of love. Whose responsibility is it to remember the
• 30:49
  anniversary? His or hers?
• 30:53
  Be honest. Hers?
• 30:58
  All right, now be scriptural. His.
• 31:03
  Not hers, his. What about birthdays?
• 31:07
  Be scriptural. No, be honest.
• 31:14
  Mom's, right? Mom remembers everything.
• 31:18
  And I look at Mercedes, and she's good at remembering stuff.
• 31:22
  Most women are historical. They can pull up anything,
• 31:29
  and I appreciate it. But you know,
• 31:33
  I'm the initiator. If I'm called on the carpet, or if
• 31:37
  I'm audited by God for what I've done in the relationship,
• 31:40
  I'm the initiator. I've got to be able to say, honey,
• 31:45
  Tell me what I can tell the Lord. No, I'm gonna
• 31:49
  say, Lord, this is what I
• 31:53
  did because I love you and I love my wife and
• 31:57
  I love my family. Now I'm not saying all you guys run out there and
• 32:00
  try to get a pad to remember all the birthdays and stuff like that,
• 32:03
  you know, however you have it in your house, but you need to work on
• 32:06
  remembering. You're the initiator of love in the house and When
• 32:12
  children don't understand this concept, they can act
• 32:15
  out. And when you push your
• 32:18
  wife over to take care of their acting out because you're not initiating much of
• 32:22
  anything, guess what's gonna happen to the kids? Nah,
• 32:26
  you already know. Let me move on. You're looking at me funny. If you want
• 32:31
  love to come to you, husband, you have to initiate it out.
• 32:35
  It's not a matter of your wife having to prove anything to you first as
• 32:38
  head of the house. You are the initiator.
• 32:43
  What's involved in headship? When you initiate,
• 32:46
  the wife will respond if she loves the Lord.
• 32:51
  If she is not— if not because she is
• 32:55
  the head of the house, but she is to be
• 32:59
  in submission to her husband in everything because
• 33:02
  she loves the Lord.
• 33:07
  What he sends over in initiation, she can send
• 33:11
  back. It's a choice for her. She can either
• 33:15
  send it back or not send it back. Ladies, if you love the Lord,
• 33:19
  what will you do? You'll send it back.
• 33:23
  Now, this doesn't mean if he doesn't send it over, she's not supposed
• 33:27
  to do right. When you are married, you must act married. You can't
• 33:32
  have the excuse, he hasn't done anything for me lately.
• 33:36
  If your husband is going to be a proper head, he will initiate,
• 33:41
  because this is what Christ did for the church.
• 33:46
  Remember, submission is out of love and respect for Christ.
• 33:50
  What did he do as the initiator? He gave himself for
• 33:55
  the church. He loved it,
• 33:59
  maintained it. It was spot-free,
• 34:04
  wrinkle-free, totally dependent on Christ,
• 34:09
  carefree, and altogether holy because
• 34:13
  of his submission to the Father to sacrifice himself
• 34:18
  for a cause that was greater than all of us.
• 34:22
  So wives, before you beat me up, let me,
• 34:26
  let me do this. Wait a
• 34:34
  The wife submits herself out of love for Christ.
• 34:38
  He submits as he accepts his responsibility to be head of the
• 34:42
  wife in the spirit of Christ.
• 34:45
  This is in the spirit of Christ as he accepted the responsibility of
• 34:49
  being head of the church. He gave himself for it. If you
• 34:52
  want to be the head, you must be the head in the way of
• 34:56
  Christ. Christ has given man headship,
• 35:00
  but he has also given the criteria of that headship.
• 35:03
  What is the criteria? You must do it in the spirit of
• 35:07
  Christ, not in the spirit of the way you were
• 35:11
  brought up, not in the spirit of what the fellow said down
• 35:16
  at the— on the job. If you treat her
• 35:20
  the way I treat my church, I gave my
• 35:23
  all. You send that over to her, and if you have
• 35:28
  a submissive wife, guess what she'll do?
• 35:31
  She'll send it back over to you.
• 35:35
  Y'all do this or something, you know, let me know you're alive out there.
• 35:38
  Okay?
• 35:42
  Why doesn't the wife submit? Not because
• 35:45
  your husband has more sense than you.
• 35:48
  He does not have more sense than you. You may be better
• 35:52
  educated, you may have gone to a better school, but that's nothing.
• 35:56
  When you married him in the Spirit of the Lord, you accepted him as being
• 36:00
  head of the house. Even if you are President
• 36:03
  of the United States— well, I'm gonna leave that alone—
• 36:06
  president of something, when you walk in in that house,
• 36:11
  guess what? He's your head because
• 36:15
  you love the Lord. Not because
• 36:19
  he's smarter than you. Not because he's better
• 36:22
  than you. As a matter of fact,
• 36:27
  the Christian wife submits to her husband and she therefore allows
• 36:31
  him to fulfill his God-given responsibility as head.
• 36:34
  See, I'm trying to set this up for the rest of the seminar, 'cause when
• 36:37
  you understand submission, All the rest of this will flow for
• 36:42
  you. I hope anyway. Better smile
• 36:45
  when I say that. Many have lost the ability to submit
• 36:49
  and be subordinate. Woman is intellectually man's
• 36:53
  equal. She is socially his superior.
• 36:57
  Morally, she's more susceptible. Religiously, she's probably more
• 37:01
  devotional. She is man's companion, And still
• 37:05
  she is his subordinate.
• 37:08
  But she is not yours by ownership,
• 37:13
  but by what? By relationship.
• 37:17
  Because of her relationship to Christ,
• 37:22
  because of your relationship to Christ,
• 37:27
  and God's scriptures are set before us as the
• 37:31
  parameters for the operation of our marriage and our family, to govern ourselves and
• 37:34
  our children, I'm going to submit to the Scriptures
• 37:38
  out of love for Christ and
• 37:42
  my love for you as my spouse.
• 37:46
  And it may not seem natural for me to do, but I'm gonna do it
• 37:49
  because I have the mind of Christ and
• 37:53
  in the spirit of Christ,
• 37:56
  even if it involves sacrifice. I'm not talking about
• 38:00
  a recap tire now. I'm talking about giving up a career, maybe.
• 38:04
  To be a loving mother, a loving parent. I'm talking about pushing
• 38:09
  away from the world and being transformed by the renewing of my
• 38:13
  mind that I might be a living sacrifice for
• 38:18
  my family.
• 38:23
  It's not that my husband owns me, as a
• 38:27
  wife one time told me, he thinks he owns me.
• 38:33
  You know, you're not Tarzan and she's not Jane.
• 38:37
  She doesn't come with a saddle for you to ride her and all that.
• 38:40
  You don't own her. You don't own your children. That's another story
• 38:43
  for tomorrow, but we have our children
• 38:47
  by relationship, not by ownership. America doesn't
• 38:51
  understand that. And when we don't understand
• 38:55
  that, we do horrible things to our children. 3 horrible things
• 38:59
  that we do— I'm off the subject, I'm coming back because I gotta quit.
• 39:03
  3 horrible things that we do to our children, all starts
• 39:07
  with an A: abortion,
• 39:11
  abandonment, and abuse.
• 39:16
  Why? Because we don't know how to submit,
• 39:22
  we don't know how to sacrifice, and We don't
• 39:25
  know the scriptures, and we are farming
• 39:32
  out that responsibility to other people, including the church.
• 39:38
  And if the church don't do it, it's the elders' fault.
• 39:42
  If the church don't do it, it's the preacher's fault,
• 39:45
  or the Bible class teacher's fault.
• 39:49
  Do you not know that the primary responsibility for disciple-making
• 39:54
  for our children are parents?
• 39:58
  Not elders. Not the church.
• 40:03
  Okay, you're looking at me funny. Let me move on.
• 40:06
  Why subordination? We'll do more of that tomorrow. Ladies, you are
• 40:10
  man's subordinate. Not because I said so, but because
• 40:14
  your husband says so. Not because God says so. Why?
• 40:18
  1 Corinthians 11:7, woman is in the glory of man, she is
• 40:21
  his glory. Man is incomplete, probably, without a woman.
• 40:25
  I know you're gonna argue with me on that, but see me later.
• 40:29
  Thy desire should be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
• 40:33
  God made them equal. God gave them dominion over all.
• 40:37
  God did not place one above— one above the other.
• 40:41
  They were equal. No scripture that shows anything other than seniority.
• 40:46
  Adam was first made, then Eve.
• 40:51
  Eve took the lead. Adam didn't take it. Eve took the lead.
• 40:54
  She did what God told her not to do because Satan said, if you
• 40:59
  eat this, you will be just like God.
• 41:03
  Eve was fooled and she took the lead. She usurped. She took
• 41:07
  what God— what didn't belong to her. And God forever took the lead from the
• 41:11
  woman and gave the lead to the man.
• 41:14
  When did this difference begin? God took the lead and gave it to the man
• 41:18
  because Eve took the lead and sinned. It is not, therefore, punishment.
• 41:22
  Superior took the lead from the inferior
• 41:26
  and gave it to her equal. Why does the woman obey the man?
• 41:31
  To prove to God.
• 41:36
  Not to her husband, to prove to God, not her
• 41:40
  children, to prove to God
• 41:44
  that she can submit to him.
• 41:49
  And when she submits to him, everything else falls into place,
• 41:53
  that she can obey God. It's not because she's less than her husband,
• 41:58
  not because she's inferior. That's what makes
• 42:02
  it punishment in the eyes of some folks. But she
• 42:06
  is his equal. If you could not submit to your,
• 42:09
  to your superior, submit therefore to your equal.
• 42:13
  This is the why of subordination and submission.
• 42:18
  Questions?
• 42:23
  I still love you. In each relationship,
• 42:27
  therefore, everyone is to submit. There's no shortcut
• 42:31
  to a quality relationship. It can be quality only when God,
• 42:35
  who originates it, dominates it. Wives, submit to your own
• 42:38
  husbands as is fitting to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not
• 42:42
  be bitter towards them. Children, obey your parents in all things,
• 42:45
  for this is well pleasing to the Lord. The basis of
• 42:49
  submission and the Christian family,
• 42:53
  they go together. They help to weather the storms and the
• 42:57
  problems of life. Life has 3 major problems: guilt, grief, and the grave.
• 43:01
  Jesus is the answer to all 3 of those problems. It originates
• 43:05
  with submission. It is maintained by the Scriptures.
• 43:10
  And folks, we have these great resources available
• 43:15
  to us who are children of God tonight to deal
• 43:19
  with whatever problems or concerns or behavior that confronts our family.
• 43:25
  Everyone therefore is to submit. God will dominate our marriages when we
• 43:29
  return to a healthy respect and love for God and each other.
• 43:33
  Husbands earn the headship in the marriage when he respects
• 43:37
  and loves his own wife as being his own body.
• 43:43
  He must be willing to sacrifice for his family. Christ earned the
• 43:47
  headship when he gave himself.
• 43:50
  Again, submission is a choice.
• 43:54
  She doesn't have to submit. She's right.
• 43:59
  You don't have to submit. It's a choice.
• 44:02
  Do you love the Lord? Are you willing to do what
• 44:06
  God tells you to do, even if it involves sacrifice?
• 44:10
  And it will take some sacrifice. My great-grandmother
• 44:14
  was 110 years old. I have a lot of her quotes.
• 44:19
  One of them, she said, if you're going to get to the promised land,
• 44:21
  baby, you're going to have to go through some wilderness.
• 44:25
  When it comes to our marriages, we're going to have to make some sacrifices
• 44:29
  for the success of our kids and
• 44:33
  our wives and ourselves.
• 44:39
  What questions do you have? Ooh, look at that, right on time.
• 44:43
  Oh, do I have 15 more minutes? Oh, what questions do
• 44:47
  you have? Anything you want
• 44:50
  to add?
• 44:54
  How does this relate to our children?
• 44:58
  You think our children can buy into the concept of submission?
• 45:04
  You said no? For some of them, it may be too late.
• 45:08
  It's never too late though if we do what? 2 things.
• 45:14
  We demonstrate it ourselves and we work on
• 45:18
  transferring it to our children.
• 45:25
  Disciple— you're the primary disciple maker. You're the primary
• 45:29
  demonstrator of submission in
• 45:34
  your family. Fathers and mothers, your children
• 45:37
  have a chance. They're smart. They're intelligent.
• 45:43
  They're gifts from God.
• 45:46
  God doesn't give you a gift but that you can't unwrap
• 45:50
  it. It may take you a while to figure them out,
• 45:54
  but sooner or later,
• 45:58
  you'll figure it out.
• 46:03
  No other questions?
• 46:07
  Boy, I must have really done something wrong tonight, man. Usually I get questions from
• 46:11
  you guys. Really?
• 46:15
  When you're more awake? I appreciate you taking the time and
• 46:20
  making the sacrifice to come out tonight. I'll try and be a little
• 46:23
  bit more succinct tomorrow, but I appreciate you being here.
• 46:27
  I want to close with a prayer now, if I might. Would you pray with
• 46:30
  me? Our great God and Father in heaven,
• 46:34
  we do beseech thee on behalf of all of the parents in the world
• 46:39
  to help us to learn the value
• 46:44
  of loving thee and submitting to thee.
• 46:51
  In helping our children and our marriages,
• 46:56
  that we may demonstrate to the world our
• 47:00
  ultimate love in glorifying thee as
• 47:05
  our number one priority in our lives.
• 47:10
  Help this good congregation, Father, and all the families that are here to
• 47:15
  continue to excel in what they do for each other
• 47:19
  and for their children and for generations yet
• 47:23
  unborn, that we might preach the gospel to them
• 47:27
  in thy presence, that they can replicate that to
• 47:31
  their children. And when the day
• 47:35
  comes and eternity is
• 47:39
  before us and we stand
• 47:44
  before thee in judgment, Father,
• 47:49
  Help us to hear your voice. Well done,
• 47:52
  thy good and faithful parent and servant.
• 47:57
  Enter ye into the joy of my
• 48:01
  kingdom. Protect us as we
• 48:04
  dismiss, Father. Bring us back tomorrow if at all possible,
• 48:08
  Father, and give us a spirit where we can invite
• 48:11
  others to come and be a part of this effort. In Jesus'
• 48:16
  mighty name, amen. Thank you very much.
• 48:23
  Just say a quick thing about tomorrow. Thanks, thanks to Glenn for the
• 48:27
  lesson tonight. And tomorrow we'll start at 9 o'clock, and there'll be 3 lessons,
• 48:30
  one at 9, one at 10, and one at 11, on the stages of parenting
• 48:34
  at 9 o'clock, 10 o'clock different kids with different approaches to
• 48:37
  discipline, and then the blessings of parenting at 11,
• 48:41
  and there'll be a take-home lunch provided. So thank you for being here tonight.
• 48:45
  Look forward to seeing everybody tomorrow. Appreciate what Glenn said tonight.
• 48:48
  Hopefully this sets the foundation for what we're gonna hear the rest of the weekend,
• 48:51
  especially the part about people in our lives are not ours by ownership,
• 48:55
  by relationship. And a lot of what he said about submission in the marriage
• 48:58
  will no doubt bleed over into what we hope for our children and in
• 49:02
  our other relationships throughout our lives. So thanks for being being here. We start at
• 49:06
  9 o'clock tomorrow and looking forward to seeing everybody back that can make it.
• 49:09
  Appreciate it.