Latest / Dear Son, / That's Not Really You | Adjusting for Acceptance | Ep 212 | The Dear Son, Show

Transcript

That's Not Really You | Adjusting for Acceptance | Ep 212 | The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

0:00
[SPEAKER_00]: There are certain people that hate sports franchises simply because of how adamant the fan base for that franchise is.
0:10
[SPEAKER_00]: They're like, I don't have a problem with that team.
0:12
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just their fans are so obnoxious and I always try to force that team on me.
0:18
[SPEAKER_00]: It makes me dislike the team.
0:20
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not me, people.
0:21
[SPEAKER_00]: You want to go a transparent layer deeper?
0:24
[SPEAKER_02]: But the team, that scenario, sure, what's you got?
0:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know why I don't like the Washington team.
0:33
[SPEAKER_02]: That plays a Maryland and practices in Virginia.
0:35
[SPEAKER_02]: That's different.
0:36
[SPEAKER_02]: That's semantics.
0:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Washington team plays a Maryland and practices in Virginia.
0:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Washington team, that's semantics.
0:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Jogsy.
0:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't have one of my partners was a draft different agent and play for them.
0:52
[SPEAKER_02]: You got all my fans.
0:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I was conflicted.
0:57
[SPEAKER_00]: You got to be.
0:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't conflict with anything.
1:00
[SPEAKER_02]: That was the rule in the house.
1:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know my father.
1:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't like the people.
1:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I never seen a thing on the earth.
1:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
1:10
[SPEAKER_02]: You're there, don't like, man.
1:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Washington.
1:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the dear son and show where we have meaningful conversations about life through the lens of fatherhood.
1:26
[SPEAKER_00]: It's four fathers, those with fathers in the fatherless, so no one's left out.
1:31
[SPEAKER_00]: These are the conversations we want our sons to access as they grow through life into manhood, so no topics are off limits.
1:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm one of your host, Jake Black.
1:39
[SPEAKER_02]: DJs are the hosts.
1:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Happy birthday, DJs.
1:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Appreciate your family.
1:43
[SPEAKER_02]: What's good, man?
1:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Pretty big folks.
1:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm full.
1:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Self-fifty and plain sight.
1:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm talking about, I'm the end of the road, right there.
1:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Play, say, man.
1:52
[SPEAKER_00]: What you got lined up, man?
1:53
[SPEAKER_02]: grateful, man.
1:54
[SPEAKER_02]: At the time, it was your cool and birthday with yesterday.
1:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh.
1:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Family schedule prevail correct so as it should as it as it as it will yeah Eden had her first cheer game her first game cheering for football
2:10
[SPEAKER_02]: So how is it?
2:12
[SPEAKER_02]: It was it was good, man.
2:13
[SPEAKER_02]: What I didn't realize is that they were serious about the schedule schedule said five thirty to nine and that's that's what it is.
2:21
[SPEAKER_02]: They played two games.
2:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't realize it was a seven grade team in the eighth grade team.
2:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah, yeah, so she had a shift for both of them and I was like I don't the people on the field.
2:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I really mean the corn is flicked at the good phone twenty five twenty nine.
2:34
[SPEAKER_02]: They flipping the corn
2:35
[SPEAKER_02]: No, that's the thing.
2:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if the other team had trouble getting there.
2:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, but I wrote past the school.
2:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I was picking food up.
2:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And I came back by the school.
2:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And I looked at the, with the website, I was like, I don't see nobody.
2:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Nobody feels I came back to school by 25.
2:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And nobody is at the school.
2:54
[SPEAKER_02]: My daughter's school website said the game was a way the way team school website said the game was At their school both teams said yes, so they're by crossing the street.
3:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm thinking like well And we got to go to other school.
3:07
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a knowledge in somewhere We were we definitely gonna be late.
3:09
[SPEAKER_02]: It turned out to be at the school.
3:11
[SPEAKER_02]: The bus was just late got it got to have the school So we you know we had we got the employee time Grand Bay was out there running around Having her way in the town learning the culture having her way with me career so
3:22
[SPEAKER_02]: The second game we probably want most of that because he was like, come here, come home.
3:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, we had a good time man.
3:29
[SPEAKER_02]: He might have pulled up, so the whole family was in the same place at the same time.
3:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I saw her.
3:34
[SPEAKER_00]: We had an event on campus just today that I had to go to because I was a person or and I saw her divinat.
3:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, I wonder if she had it to this event.
3:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, now I just the team and she must be going to check that out.
3:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because like I said, I didn't know which, which was which then I saw make that left turn.
3:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I said, now I see at it to the school.
3:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
3:52
[SPEAKER_02]: So it was good, man.
3:54
[SPEAKER_02]: So I guess formal celebration, CBD, I'm not, I'm not big on that.
4:00
[SPEAKER_02]: No, I'm not big on it.
4:02
[SPEAKER_00]: We're turning up, man.
4:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not letting that go anymore.
4:05
[SPEAKER_00]: No, with with with this year alone.
4:09
[SPEAKER_00]: my family, my close family, and circle of friends.
4:13
[SPEAKER_00]: We've taken some responses.
4:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, people aren't with us anymore.
4:17
[SPEAKER_00]: So, everyday counts now.
4:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I just turned another.
4:21
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not flying.
4:23
[SPEAKER_00]: We're doing something.
4:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going, leaving town, of course, in a couple of days.
4:27
[SPEAKER_00]: So, you see how that gloves here right on in.
4:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So, pride today.
4:31
[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna be here.
4:32
[SPEAKER_00]: But, I've been here.
4:33
[SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no, no, no.
4:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever point I'm here.
4:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Prior to me leaving, we getting loops.
4:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
4:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
4:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
4:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
4:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Tomorrow.
4:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
4:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Tomorrow.
4:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Tomorrow.
4:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Tomorrow.
4:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Tomorrow.
4:45
[SPEAKER_02]: We last.
4:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Your mouth.
4:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
4:47
[SPEAKER_00]: On cameras.
4:48
[SPEAKER_02]: We got witnesses.
4:49
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't get right to it.
4:50
[SPEAKER_02]: We don't get right to it.
4:50
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't get right right right to it.
4:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And this one.
4:53
[SPEAKER_00]: This one covers a few areas today.
4:57
[SPEAKER_00]: The comment section for a recent released clip.
5:02
[SPEAKER_00]: As well as culturally, we like to be culturally aware of what's going on and try to set the tone.
5:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I honestly, I want to word it.
5:10
[SPEAKER_00]: There's some.
5:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Why can't people safely dislike any more?
5:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Why can't people safely that or you mean they become a hater?
5:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
5:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, you right, you right.
5:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Not that I forgot the format.
5:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh.
5:31
[UNKNOWN]: I don't know.
5:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
5:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Because the way our process is now.
5:39
[SPEAKER_02]: dislike and seems to be the safer thing.
5:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, or sport at least.
5:45
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a populist sport.
5:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I was just as the safer thing, but it's a populist sport.
5:50
[SPEAKER_02]: It feels as if the way the I see things on social media, because I don't have all the data.
5:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
5:58
[SPEAKER_02]: If you have an opinion that's differing from
6:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, more motion than you this it looks like you're This day and it's not rooted in anything other than other than hate That yeah, I just like it's a bunch of stuff.
6:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't I just don't campaign about just don't talk about it because it's my personal preference I don't campaign about none of it same so so the approach is it's too full okay one yes It's it's it's it's geared towards looking at
6:37
[SPEAKER_00]: If you go against the group, now you're going against the grain, and now you're next, where tech and you next.
6:46
[SPEAKER_00]: The other thing is, you can't even have a healthy discussion about there being two perspectives to one thing.
6:57
[SPEAKER_00]: If I stand a coin up in the middle of a table, and we're not sitting on the sides of the
7:07
[SPEAKER_00]: You can argue me down that you're looking at heads.
7:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I can argue you down that I'm looking at tails.
7:12
[SPEAKER_00]: We're both right from our perspective.
7:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, in this current environment that we live in, you don't agree with me.
7:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm willing to take it as far as it goes.
7:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Conflict, physical, I don't care where it goes.
7:32
[SPEAKER_00]: If you don't agree with me, you're against me.
7:34
[SPEAKER_00]: You're an enemy, you're my op.
7:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And so the dangers of that being portrayed on television and on social media and all of these platforms, these children, their sponges, they're watching the whole thing the whole time.
7:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So now in the future, anybody that disagrees with me is against me, it's no longer safe to have a personal perspective.
8:06
[SPEAKER_02]: teach and convey to your household the importance of have your own thought process and so it's super important now specifically having the second set go through middle school or approaching high school where identity is can be confusing right even with the appropriate amount of reinforcement at home
8:35
[SPEAKER_02]: you go out, they go out into the world amongst hundreds, maybe thousands of other of their peers that may not be reinforced in the same thing.
8:44
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's a constant battle of ensuring that their foundation is sufficient.
8:50
[SPEAKER_02]: The wind below the tree sway, hopefully the foundation, the trunk doesn't break.
8:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Everybody in my house is opinionated.
9:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Now the dynamic of eating an ELI, the two young potatoes don't know, youngest daughter and youngest son today, today they are 13 and 11, but they hear them argue, they're right.
9:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm always mindful of how far it goes, right?
9:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And if I need to step in from a perspective of, hey, you crossing the line.
9:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Not that either one can't handle that on the defendant.
9:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, right, perspective on opinion, but I don't tolerate crossing the line of disrespect because you're feeling so hurry.
9:37
[SPEAKER_02]: somebody out of explaining you and now you resort to taking attack, taking shots like we see on social media.
9:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So it is important, especially, like I said, especially now, even being a cheerleader, like that's a group of people that were selected from a larger group.
9:55
[SPEAKER_02]: So sometimes if you're the chosen, you become an outcast, right, indeed.
10:00
[SPEAKER_02]: You can also become an outcast within the chosen if
10:04
[SPEAKER_02]: that group doesn't like another valid point right so it's important for for them to know that who you are so you are people are going to disagree along the way but that doesn't have to impact how you feel about you you can hear the information if it warns you taking the look at yourself let's take a look at yourself right if it's some BS
10:30
[SPEAKER_02]: no win to shift from toleration to addressing right because some stuff should roll off your back yeah it should right even even though the person in the moment may be wrong there's everything deserve the attention they want from it that's the other thing
10:53
[SPEAKER_02]: People that don't have, have all the time to bait people that do have.
11:01
[SPEAKER_02]: only one of them has something to lose.
11:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
11:05
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's saying that stuff, Eli become more vocal than I think I was we talking about that last school year, he wanted to soccer him, showing his personality.
11:15
[SPEAKER_02]: So your personality cool, right, believe what you believe, the friendly with your character, right, right.
11:22
[SPEAKER_02]: We don't, we only need to be in any arguments about how somebody feels about a thing.
11:28
[SPEAKER_02]: You also don't necessarily need the campaign, like I said earlier, you don't have to campaign about what you don't like.
11:33
[SPEAKER_02]: True.
11:34
[SPEAKER_02]: No, you don't like it, move accordingly.
11:37
[SPEAKER_00]: On that note, I have a question.
11:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I know we had a conversation two episodes ago where we were talking about how we were responsible for.
11:50
[SPEAKER_00]: to an extent, the level of disrespect or how a person treats us, the same in that same spirit.
11:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to ask the question, why must I defend my dislike and I want to, I want to also
12:12
[SPEAKER_00]: of, just know you don't like it and let that be.
12:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And that absolutely fits in situations.
12:19
[SPEAKER_00]: It's situational, perhaps in some instances.
12:23
[SPEAKER_00]: If they do know, the purpose or the reason of a dislike, depending on what it's pertaining to, maybe that'll say, that makes sense to me, not that it has to make sense to you for me to dislike it.
12:35
[SPEAKER_00]: But maybe that'll deter you from approaching me in that manner again, or offering me that, or having this discussion with me in the future, or hey, I can't treat this person this way because they've expressed not only that they dislike it, but what they don't like about it,
12:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it important in that spirit and that energy to defend your dislike?
13:01
[SPEAKER_02]: I think I'm on the fence about the word, defend, communicate and address it, sure, especially if it's negatively impacting you.
13:16
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's not something that you can avoid.
13:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I guess, to me, an example.
13:22
[SPEAKER_02]: If you don't like somebody being in your personal space, right, we'll need to add to about being physical, like you don't like somebody being in your personal space, um, they may be unaware of it until you communicate it.
13:36
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
13:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
13:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I don't want you in my personal space that could be tied to something deeply rooted like it may have been some kind of physical assault or some kind of violation where somebody being close to you, rubbed you the wrong way.
13:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Right?
13:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
13:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I would want that conversation to be enough without them having to divulge something so personal, especially at a young age, agree.
14:00
[SPEAKER_02]: If they're old enough to talk about it and have a
14:04
[SPEAKER_02]: a of a tour conversation with the other party about it and they trust that person with that information.
14:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure.
14:10
[SPEAKER_02]: But no is a complete sentence.
14:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
14:13
[SPEAKER_02]: In all cases, man.
14:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Which would you do after that to me is how I'm looking at it?
14:17
[SPEAKER_02]: It might not be what you're saying or suggesting.
14:20
[SPEAKER_02]: But how I'm interpreting that is beyond the no is defending.
14:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I don't think there's a defense necessary beyond that, right?
14:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, that's somebody that you're working with and y'all are on a project together.
14:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
14:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And you don't like this way about them, right?
14:36
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's impacting how we complete this thing.
14:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Perhaps it, it, it wants more discussion about the thing because we're, we have a common goal.
14:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And
14:47
[SPEAKER_02]: right now today how we're approaching it we're not going to get there and that's a that's a lifeless yeah friendship marriage jobs with that business we have you I think there's a time in place to communicate the why something is rubbing you the wrong way but I just like I I don't really like the word defend why I feel the way about a thing yeah
15:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And I hear in that in that I hear boundaries, so that's important.
15:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I like that because that's another message that I feel like it's kind of getting watered down.
15:26
[SPEAKER_00]: to the next generation of that go alone to get along here.
15:31
[SPEAKER_00]: It's becoming too prevalent right.
15:32
[SPEAKER_00]: So now it's it's too easy to look out.
15:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to be wrong.
15:37
[SPEAKER_00]: There's always going to be trends.
15:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
15:39
[SPEAKER_00]: So as you see trends of of the times it's kind of you can see what period of time.
15:44
[SPEAKER_00]: We're in based on how they're dressed or hair styles or what have you.
15:48
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's almost right now.
15:50
[SPEAKER_00]: It kind of gives us sense of it sometimes comes across cookie cutter to me.
15:57
[SPEAKER_00]: every young man from this age to this age had the exact identical hair and the saying could be said, man, everybody had the low cut, everybody had the box fade in that era, everybody had the Afro during that era.
16:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's nothing new, but because of that, because that speaks to you and you like that and you're attracted to that.
16:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
16:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you truly attracted to it?
16:21
[SPEAKER_00]: or are you following the trend you want to go along to get along if I don't look like that I'm going to be ridiculed or I'm not going to be accepted.
16:29
[SPEAKER_00]: So you're your purpose for going with the trend or looking a certain way or buying it is more important than just buying it.
16:41
[SPEAKER_00]: relationship.
16:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd like to also kind of push that into relationships.
16:46
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of times it's expected, um, some people have the mentality in a relationship of your mind, which is extremely possessive and toxic.
16:59
[SPEAKER_00]: but we don't roll with it here.
17:01
[SPEAKER_00]: You're mine, if this one on my own, this would you supposed to be on?
17:05
[SPEAKER_00]: If this how I feel, this is how you're supposed to feel.
17:08
[SPEAKER_00]: You're supposed to support this, or you're supposed to buy into this.
17:12
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay for my significant other to have an idea that I just don't like.
17:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I disagree with, and guess what?
17:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I have the right to disagree with it out loud.
17:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I have the right to say, hey,
17:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like it.
17:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Does that mean you should stop and not do it?
17:29
[SPEAKER_00]: No, does that mean you didn't, is your vision, your dream?
17:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And you say push and you're gonna push?
17:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll support you, but no, on record, I just told you.
17:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like this.
17:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like that meal that you just made.
17:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever it is, I don't like your schedule.
17:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like your vision or your plan for the household.
17:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever that is, it's equally important to be able to express it without consequences though, because that's the other thing.
17:57
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll weaponize us being vocal.
18:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll give you the false sense of, yeah, I'ma hear you out, come on, you need to communicate with me and tell me when you don't like things.
18:09
[SPEAKER_00]: So now we're encouraging the other partner to communicate.
18:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Tell me when you don't like something, but we're waiting to hear that you don't like something only for us to weaponize it.
18:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna turn this against you the first chance I get.
18:22
[SPEAKER_00]: The first chance you tell me you don't like something.
18:25
[SPEAKER_00]: If my,
18:27
[SPEAKER_00]: response, a reaction is anger, silent treatment.
18:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not talking to you for a couple of days because I'm offended that you didn't just blindly jump on my bandwagon and support what I had going on.
18:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been there personally.
18:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I've had ideas that I felt like
18:44
[SPEAKER_00]: My wife wasn't accepting enough initially, she's naturally going to ask the right questions.
18:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And some of those questions have led to me digging deeper and getting a deeper, rooted plan, if you will, and made it a more solid foundation and it thrived.
19:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Had she not ask those uncomfortable questions, I wouldn't have moved that way and perhaps it wouldn't have sustained.
19:08
[SPEAKER_00]: was it comfortable in the moment?
19:09
[SPEAKER_00]: No, did it aggravate me?
19:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
19:12
[SPEAKER_00]: But guess what?
19:13
[SPEAKER_00]: She felt strong enough because she knows it is a safe space to be able to say, I don't like it.
19:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I have questions.
19:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
19:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And my initial reaction is what these questions made.
19:27
[SPEAKER_00]: What you got?
19:28
[SPEAKER_00]: That's it.
19:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm glad she knows me enough to know that that's not
19:35
[SPEAKER_00]: react to her having a question, they're receiving the question.
19:39
[SPEAKER_00]: But imagine how many relationships out there, you're absolutely discouraged from having an opinion or asking any questions and you're expected to just go alone to get along.
19:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's important to see that we've been talking about modeling behavior as a kind of a threat through the last few conversations.
19:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And what you just described is one of those
20:03
[SPEAKER_02]: That might not always happen in front of the child because you want to shield that stuff, right?
20:07
[SPEAKER_02]: So the child grows up thinking that this is how it works, thinking that there's, this is what harmony looks like just silence by either party, right?
20:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And this is my thing, my thing works because that thing that thing works and there's no compromise that there's no discussion about how the thing is going to work.
20:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And I struggle with that too, because in my mind,
20:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I've already I've already asked everything that you should be thinking about and what you think about something that I didn't think about now now I'm flot now my approach we know that cannot be now my approach is flot now that I didn't you know and that's that's that's a young mindset that I've that I've grown out of but that that has a lot to do it trust which is an important factor of
20:50
[SPEAKER_02]: even modeling that like that conversation should be bread out of you selecting based on somebody that had these characteristics that you should be able to trust them when they don't agree with you right right that is coming from a good place is not used to control or to to modify the tone of the temperature of the house
21:11
[SPEAKER_02]: you know, with the actions, whether it's cold or coming in hot.
21:15
[SPEAKER_02]: So I think it's, um, I think that's another one of those things that put on the list of explaining the how we got here, right?
21:24
[SPEAKER_02]: We had the conversation about that I reposted about dating at whatever age.
21:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And that conversation is for each
21:35
[SPEAKER_02]: hopefully no household is rushing any child boy or girl young man the young woman to a fictitious timeline right because that seemed to be part of the um one of the things that I saw discounted it well by the time they lead a house well we haven't had the conversation about stop kicking your kids out oh no I don't act
22:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Do all you want to, nobody's prepared for life in 18, life may hit them and they may have more responsibilities but I, I, I, I, my kids, I, there's no timeline today of you must be here by this point, right?
22:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, there's the desire for them to be functioning members of society and be mature enough.
22:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, the handle life as they choose to take on more
22:28
[SPEAKER_02]: rushing them to a point and trying to force them or promote them to be in situations that are premature for them, just for them to get a lesson earlier than later.
22:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Treat it.
22:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Treat it.
22:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Treat it.
22:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Treat it like that.
22:42
[SPEAKER_00]: What college?
22:43
[SPEAKER_00]: It's what college.
22:43
[SPEAKER_00]: It's really like I'm a visual learner and an example you gave stuck with me.
22:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean that time resonated
22:59
[SPEAKER_00]: and the older they get, the wider those reels get.
23:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Initially, I was thinking actual guard reels, nearly all to each other.
23:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And the more I meditated on that, I actually have it at a fee now.
23:13
[SPEAKER_00]: The pivot, yeah.
23:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
23:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
23:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So...
23:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm at the base of the V. And the rails are here.
23:19
[SPEAKER_00]: They're very narrow at birth.
23:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And as as the children grow older, it's going out from me, not away from me because that base stays to me.
23:29
[SPEAKER_00]: But the V gets wider and wider until it's almost a horizontal line, right?
23:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Eventually as they get to growth.
23:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, adulthood.
23:39
[SPEAKER_00]: So the purpose of that, staying in the
23:46
[SPEAKER_00]: shit things not work out.
23:47
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no time line for you to get out of my house.
23:52
[SPEAKER_00]: That it's a funnel.
23:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Those guardrails are a funnel.
23:54
[SPEAKER_00]: If you hit the wall and bang yourself up and need to fall backwards, if the if the rails are parallel and they've grown out, they're wide enough to let you pass me and can't get at some point you're behind me now.
24:07
[SPEAKER_00]: How dare I allow you in life to a point where you
24:15
[SPEAKER_00]: my ceiling is your floor to your point again.
24:18
[SPEAKER_00]: So if my ceiling is your floor, you have no business back down on this level of the building at no time.
24:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So if if the rails are out, but connected to me, if you fall back, you just fall back to my ceiling, because I will not allow you to fall beneath your starting point, which is where you are.
24:37
[SPEAKER_00]: So now you take off again.
24:45
[SPEAKER_00]: That's reckless and it's scary if you really analyze it because now again, we always say these cliches that we hear online about breaking family curses in trauma and passing and handed down trauma.
24:58
[SPEAKER_00]: We're saying the right things, but we're not following it up with the actions like we're not talking to professionals who actually can talk to us about what that looks like.
25:07
[SPEAKER_00]: identify it because it's not being identified in our lives, we're just repeating things that we're hearing as talking points online.
25:14
[SPEAKER_00]: But we didn't go sitting in those counseling sessions.
25:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Somebody else went to hit the work and they're giving you snippets of the help that they've received and that they're actually going through at the time.
25:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And we take that and run off with it and go start talking about it aloud.
25:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And now we don't have context here.
25:31
[SPEAKER_00]: So we start using these things
25:36
[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to ask the question, could be rhetorical.
25:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you think personal preference is a dinosaur or a unicorn at this point?
25:44
[SPEAKER_00]: I know we have them, but when it comes to
25:49
[SPEAKER_00]: saying them out loud.
25:50
[SPEAKER_00]: You used to be able to say whatever you want, but it's this respect and someone who you still can without the disrespect, somebody fine disrespect.
25:58
[SPEAKER_00]: But now that, but now it's so deeply rooted now that if you say something out loud, that goes against the grain, they don't just dislike you.
26:08
[SPEAKER_00]: They're trying to injure employment.
26:11
[SPEAKER_00]: They want you blocked, banned,
26:15
[SPEAKER_00]: They want you cancelled, they want to take your job, your benefits.
26:21
[SPEAKER_00]: They want to take food off your family's table.
26:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Simply because you don't agree with what they have going on.
26:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Personal preference, do you think it's becoming a dinosaur slash unicorn?
26:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, I don't, I just think the uh, the repercussions are greater because it's hard to talk to your attend audience, especially publicly, that was the time when you could get a bunch of people in a room and that room with your audience, now your audience is, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
27:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I think audiences is ideal in people's mind.
27:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, where it actually lands, is we have way less control, right?
27:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Because of social media, if you stay all social media, you stay off talking like we talk.
27:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, and that's the risk and that's with not even a risk.
27:22
[SPEAKER_02]: That's that's.
27:24
[SPEAKER_02]: That's part of the world that we're choosing to be in, right?
27:28
[SPEAKER_02]: So, yes, so when we have this conversation that goes out public and I put the clips out in the clips out public, that's been a lesson for me that when my responsibility ended, right?
27:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
27:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
27:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And that doesn't mean that I throw my hands up and whatever is whatever.
27:48
[SPEAKER_02]: but I do my best to be sure that when I push the button, I'm fine with what it up comes back.
27:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And that doesn't mean love is coming back.
27:55
[SPEAKER_02]: That doesn't mean the greed bit.
27:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's actually boring.
27:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, true, true.
27:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it's going to agree.
27:59
[SPEAKER_02]: You and I don't agree on everything like this.
28:03
[SPEAKER_02]: We wouldn't be at 200 plus if we agree on everything.
28:07
[SPEAKER_02]: One of us don't need to be here.
28:08
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
28:08
[SPEAKER_00]: At least I'd say, but like give me some money.
28:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I can get another one.
28:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Like me stop.
28:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to come through.
28:15
[SPEAKER_02]: So there's that, but one thing
28:18
[SPEAKER_02]: As you before you pivoted to that question, was resonate would be a well enough to me was that I don't like a thing and not explaining it how dangerous not even touching the danger part of it yet.
28:34
[SPEAKER_02]: How much of a habit that's been for me?
28:37
[SPEAKER_02]: and my children.
28:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow.
28:39
[SPEAKER_02]: You said something about trends.
28:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Keisha is the trend parent.
28:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm that.
28:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
28:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
28:44
[SPEAKER_02]: So the dance.
28:45
[SPEAKER_02]: They're going to do the game.
28:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Keisha going to learn the dance with them.
28:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And they know I won't do it.
28:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And I say I don't like it.
28:54
[SPEAKER_02]: But if I really did, it's probably not that.
29:00
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying like saying you don't like a thing, maybe true, but if you don't like it because it identifies, oh, you You're really the main what you think it is, don't it?
29:10
[SPEAKER_02]: My problem people, but I'm just saying oh, oh, because oh, yeah I'm just saying like when you when you when you start when you go through life I'll say for me if I've gone through life Oh It's making real simple Walkin' moldy was stupid until about
29:32
[SPEAKER_02]: 12.
29:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
29:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
29:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I caught that train late too.
29:35
[SPEAKER_02]: About 2,000, 12.
29:37
[SPEAKER_02]: They hit that while on earth.
29:38
[SPEAKER_02]: What did you do that?
29:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't like it.
29:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
29:41
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't.
29:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
29:43
[SPEAKER_02]: We got on the double date, me and my wife and my partner, his, uh, his interest at the time.
29:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And my partner was killing it.
29:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I identify with my guy.
29:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, hi, where is, hold on.
29:57
[SPEAKER_02]: You, you and guacamole?
30:00
[SPEAKER_02]: delicious.
30:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
30:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I sample.
30:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And you couldn't tell me after that day that I never liked it.
30:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Close minded.
30:10
[SPEAKER_02]: But before I go way off and I tell you like the reason I didn't have a reason it was different.
30:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't have a reason.
30:16
[SPEAKER_02]: It was different for now liking it.
30:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
30:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So the goal to life, suggesting that the thing is not for you and you don't even understand for yourself.
30:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I don't want to pass that on to my children.
30:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Cool if you offer, you ain't on the thing, you ain't on the thing.
30:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
30:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
30:31
[SPEAKER_02]: This doesn't mean that to this y'all going to see me tick talking with my, I like it because, oh, no, I just want not y'all.
30:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know, but it was the thought was, like, I'm telling them I don't like a thing because I am avoiding a part of what's required for this thing.
30:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't like running.
30:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not good at it.
30:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you're saying it.
30:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, so is it, is, are both true?
31:01
[SPEAKER_02]: But can I move past the, like, it might, here we go.
31:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Am I creating silly, am I creating false ceilings?
31:08
[SPEAKER_02]: In various places of life, because I've decided, I don't like a thing because I didn't want to push past what's required to be successful at the thing.
31:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to, I don't like math.
31:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Also true.
31:23
[SPEAKER_01]: but get this physics.
31:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll get this trick, trick, trick is bad.
31:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Physics is bad too.
31:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, get this, get this high a love certainly.
31:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Go beyond out of the two.
31:32
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
31:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't just do the minimum because this required more of you.
31:37
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the way it does view.
31:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Not liking the thing, but because it requires more or a better version of you to show up, it should be challenged.
31:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's an internal challenge.
31:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not saying, I mean, you,
31:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Great to have people in your life that can, can poke at that, and challenge you to challenge you.
31:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
31:56
[SPEAKER_02]: But that's something, be mindful of that internal avoidance and just bucketing things.
32:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't like this.
32:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And if I say enough enough, people know, don't even come in, don't even mess with him with the home.
32:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't take that over there.
32:10
[SPEAKER_00]: He'll do that.
32:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Which allows you to stay stagnant in that place.
32:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Hence the danger.
32:18
[SPEAKER_00]: But as you were saying that I was analyzing that like man in real time in the moment right now just open up a whole another layer to this conversation of Saying you don't like something perhaps the person that's asking why don't you like it you're annoyed by them asking that and your stance and your defense would perhaps be I don't have to defend this I don't owe you an explanation why I don't like something
32:42
[SPEAKER_00]: but perhaps the growth is hidden in the conversation about, why don't you like it?
32:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe this person has your best interest at heart.
32:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I've seen you like things in this realm, so my understanding of who I know you to be, like your partner at the table with the Guards.
32:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I think you really would love this.
33:01
[SPEAKER_00]: You just not given to the chance.
33:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So perhaps that discussion helps you get out of a stagnant or pausing your life if you will.
33:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
33:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like that.
33:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Typically, I have conversations with people when they say, I hate mornings.
33:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I always ask why.
33:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Why?
33:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
33:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a morning person, and I love it.
33:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
33:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it so.
33:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Love morning, as you understand.
33:23
[SPEAKER_00]: So it just, it baffles me when people say, I'm not a morning person.
33:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I hate mornings.
33:29
[SPEAKER_00]: How you hate a new day?
33:32
[SPEAKER_00]: So then when you talk to them and they're like, and you got to get up, go to bed.
33:37
[SPEAKER_00]: You got to get some rest.
33:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but then you got to, then you got to what?
33:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Because outside of tired, because getting up at one p.m.
33:47
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the same, eventually you have to get up and start your day.
33:52
[SPEAKER_00]: You went to bed at 3am.
33:55
[SPEAKER_00]: So your window is now pushed back to 2am 1, if you move 3am up to 19pm.
34:02
[SPEAKER_00]: then you're one, p.m. moves up to eight, nine a.m. You can't be a morning person.
34:08
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not my job to convert you people.
34:10
[SPEAKER_00]: But I just, I naturally wonder, like, what is it about the morning that bothers this person so much?
34:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
34:17
[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to go to speaking more so about
34:24
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to be different.
34:26
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to not go along.
34:28
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to not like the thing that's popular.
34:31
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of discussions about gender choice.
34:38
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of discussions about mate preference.
34:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know what I mean?
34:45
[SPEAKER_00]: That environment.
34:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And two things.
34:55
[SPEAKER_00]: If it's not my thing, that doesn't mean I hate it, right?
34:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm allowed to say it doesn't fit me and my preference, the dinosaur, equally as true opposite though, because I dislike it, that doesn't mean you hate it, or you, you should try to destroy something you don't like or intervene in something you don't like in some cases, because some cases absolutely, I get it.
35:22
[SPEAKER_00]: But the same is equally true on both sides.
35:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, we're talking about two sitting on two different sides of the corner.
35:28
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't speak to me or if I don't understand it, that's just what it is.
35:33
[SPEAKER_00]: If I don't show interest that I'm seeking understanding, don't force, don't try to force to understand it on me, because now you perhaps are enhancing my dislike.
35:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I've heard conversations about even sports teams, because maybe that'll resonate with a larger crowd.
35:52
[SPEAKER_00]: There are certain people that hate sports franchises simply because of how adamant the fan base for that franchise is.
36:02
[SPEAKER_00]: They're like, I don't have a problem with that team.
36:05
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just their fans or so of noxious.
36:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And I always trying to force that team on me.
36:10
[SPEAKER_00]: It makes me dislike the team.
36:12
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not me, people.
36:13
[SPEAKER_00]: You want to go a transparent layer deeper?
36:16
[SPEAKER_02]: About the team?
36:17
[SPEAKER_02]: About that scenario.
36:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure.
36:20
[SPEAKER_02]: What you got?
36:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know why.
36:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't like the Washington team.
36:25
[SPEAKER_02]: That plays in Maryland and practices in Virginia.
36:27
[SPEAKER_02]: That's different.
36:28
[SPEAKER_02]: That's semantics.
36:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Washington plays a mirror that practices a magenta Washington that's semantics geography That's okay.
36:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't have a one of my partners was a draft if reagent and play for them You got all my fans at once.
36:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I was conflicted You got to be I was conflicted with anything is that was a rule in the house
36:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what my father I don't like the people like the team I never seen a thing on the earth I don't know You're there don't like, man Wasn't a team No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
37:14
[SPEAKER_02]: It was, it was a, a jovial divide in the family.
37:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, my God parents, my God father got arrested, so that his only flow.
37:21
[SPEAKER_02]: My God, my decision.
37:23
[SPEAKER_02]: He was still hurt all this flow.
37:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow, that man lived his whole life with that flow.
37:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Listen, and still my favorite person on earth.
37:32
[SPEAKER_00]: The saints would have to, would have to draft or hire.
37:39
[SPEAKER_00]: a person I, I really care about.
37:42
[SPEAKER_00]: You, in the same, you were at the draft, you, in the day.
37:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, they did think God bless them, hey, all right, all right, yeah, go people.
37:50
[SPEAKER_02]: This is what we, yeah, yeah, see, I could even say to people, Jan, but it can't be that, that's a silly analogy or scenario, but think about what people do that with.
38:07
[SPEAKER_02]: with the most serious things we don't do this we don't we don't and that's another thing like it's like the way you started conversations about people in their choice and their preference not supporting a decision and not respecting somebody's decision two different things yes I that my kids need to walk the earth understanding it please decisions they make I don't support
38:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Understand you gonna make them and I'm gonna give you the information that I have about that decision Yeah, ultimately the adults you know like this is This is what you're choosing doesn't mean I don't love you doesn't mean I have a campaign to get you But those two things can live together and that's what like as you start the conversation I don't like I don't like that doesn't mean I don't love you man
39:01
[SPEAKER_02]: and even like if you look at how the conversation now around Christianity and how they feel like as a general, how they feel about certain things, I think that gets lost in the translation of, you cannot be for a thing, how do you discard the person?
39:25
[SPEAKER_02]: and the selective because it's full of it.
39:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you.
39:29
[SPEAKER_02]: The hospital is full of people that I ain't seen a hospital yet.
39:33
[SPEAKER_02]: They'd only take one type of things.
39:37
[SPEAKER_02]: We only do flu.
39:40
[SPEAKER_00]: We only do flu with this hospital.
39:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Certainly things seem to be the only time I hear some people get
39:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's not even spiritual.
39:50
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not even spiritual.
39:51
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a label, it's a label.
39:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Because then, well, we don't do that.
39:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I got a whole lot of hope.
39:57
[SPEAKER_00]: We've got a whole episode.
39:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll give you this a panel brewing for that.
40:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, because buddy, if you got two things that make you talk about God to me, you can stop talking to me.
40:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to talk about it.
40:09
[SPEAKER_00]: If this not your order,
40:12
[SPEAKER_02]: If it doesn't encompass you, I don't want to hit it.
40:15
[SPEAKER_02]: The first guy should be seeing that you're like, I get when you don't have a scene in person, but a person you're in proximity to.
40:23
[SPEAKER_02]: The reminder of God is to be how that person leaves.
40:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Please, and thank you, because if not, I don't have to ask you anything.
40:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to ask you.
40:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to ask you things.
40:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to ask you things.
40:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I see how you live in.
40:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to know more about that.
40:35
[SPEAKER_02]: That's just, that's the witness.
40:37
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the pull, that's the call, but hey, this is not pastoral advice.
40:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I am not qualified.
40:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Leeds me to my next segment of people actually want.
40:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Peace.
40:53
[SPEAKER_00]: comfort and compliance, in the disrespect and disregard of you.
41:02
[SPEAKER_00]: People want to be able to disrespect and disregard you and what you have going on, but they want to be able to do it in peace.
41:10
[SPEAKER_00]: They want to be able to comfortably disregard you.
41:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Like they want to be able to disregard you and you have no fight back, no retaliation, no rebuttal, just they want to be able to insult you or insult your intelligence, playing your face.
41:28
[SPEAKER_00]: and you have nothing to say back or do back.
41:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, hey, hey, hey, now they're a victim.
41:34
[SPEAKER_00]: They did this and again, they won't piece.
41:38
[SPEAKER_00]: They won't comfort and they won't you to comply.
41:41
[SPEAKER_00]: And I won't you stop doing that thing today.
41:44
[SPEAKER_00]: You won't meet a comply.
41:46
[SPEAKER_00]: with your disrespect of me, comply with your disregard of my wants, needs, and desires, whatever that may be.
41:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
41:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Which had nothing to do with you.
41:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying.
41:57
[SPEAKER_00]: But you inserted yourself and now expect me to comply with your insertion of this disrespect.
42:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Why so?
42:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know how to answer that.
42:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I started with this like I was on the fence when you said this for God.
42:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, this for God is totally different just like I'm Partfully fine with you not liking me as a person something that I do Something about me I'm that's none of my business That's a that's a very personal conversation that you decide to share with me this.
42:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not the person you should share it with I'll actually care about but but the disregard that's what that's man
42:41
[SPEAKER_02]: as one of the lines that uh... could eat and eating as a spirited guess eating as uh... in the spirit and she ain't going for you disrespecting her or people she love oh no not at no time no no and and what what i'm working on is how she can be the case there
43:07
[SPEAKER_02]: got to just go mad.
43:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it comes out and she's fine with people with no one.
43:10
[SPEAKER_02]: She's fine with the person knowing that it's, you know, this is about you, I don't want to, I don't want to, like, smother that, that spirit because it's important, it comes with some stuff true, you know what I mean, it comes with, you've been seeing the view the way, and that's not your problem, right?
43:35
[SPEAKER_02]: provided that what you're doing is you're a good faith effort to be genuinely who you are, you're not intended to hurt anybody.
43:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, intent and impact different, but aside from all of the other, but what ifs that people will insert?
43:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
43:52
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, you got to be aware, right?
43:55
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's the other piece of promoting your children, your child, your children to have a voice, to stand on business or whatever the phrase is of next year.
44:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, you know, of not dimming your light.
44:14
[SPEAKER_02]: All those things are valid, I think it's important to explain to your children what comes with it.
44:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because there's one thing to boost them up to be a way in a world that doesn't always accept it.
44:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And then not knowing that the world doesn't accept it until they have a experience with a world is rejecting that they're not really prepared for who they are, to continue being who they are, so that
44:39
[SPEAKER_02]: that a pushback or that reaction may have an adverse effect on them being who they are.
44:46
[SPEAKER_02]: But if you got one of those children, I don't even like the serial type in terms of being a firecracker, but a child that showed himself that doesn't mind speaking up.
44:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Eating would never not know an answer to a thing that she wants an answer to.
45:03
[SPEAKER_02]: She may not like it.
45:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
45:06
[SPEAKER_02]: She may not like the answer, but she's not going to be the one that misses out on the thing because she didn't ask.
45:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't show chips.
45:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Is that so drink?
45:18
[SPEAKER_02]: You got to tell me.
45:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I want to know.
45:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm looking at it.
45:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Is that so, you know, I'm saying,
45:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And I never want to take that, never want to take that away from her.
45:29
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
45:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, she needs to understand how some people in the world may view it, so you're prepared.
45:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just, not so that you'll change, right?
45:37
[SPEAKER_02]: But don't want your blind side at court by the reaction.
45:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go and come.
45:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Then closing something I want to share with the people is being outside of group think does not make you a hater.
45:53
[SPEAKER_00]: it actually, in my opinion, my opinion, raises your stock.
45:59
[SPEAKER_00]: You have more value because you feel how you feel because you feel that way, not because it's comfortable, or it's the thing to do.
46:11
[SPEAKER_00]: A good point of that is there are often,
46:15
[SPEAKER_00]: these big debates about who the greatest music artists are in certain genres.
46:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And more often than not, I disagree with who people try to tell me the best of the best are.
46:30
[SPEAKER_00]: We grow up.
46:32
[SPEAKER_00]: In this hour, context, this is one of the people.
46:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I thought you, I thought I, I don't have to talk.
46:37
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's a thing.
46:39
[SPEAKER_00]: So.
46:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So.
46:43
[SPEAKER_00]: That's context.
46:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, often people will say, this person and this person are the greatest.
46:50
[SPEAKER_00]: MCs to have a pick up a microphone.
46:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Perhaps I do not agree.
46:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And my favorite artist.
47:01
[SPEAKER_00]: all of them.
47:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't name one artist that I truly love their output and can say I love everything that they've ever done.
47:14
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not the case.
47:16
[SPEAKER_00]: To hold an easy on my hate.
47:18
[SPEAKER_00]: See?
47:19
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a real thing.
47:20
[SPEAKER_00]: So there are albums.
47:21
[SPEAKER_00]: There are songs.
47:23
[SPEAKER_00]: There are moments.
47:25
[SPEAKER_00]: that your favorite artist has done or produced that you just don't like is not your thing.
47:31
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's a real thing.
47:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, I mean,
47:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I, I, I've learned to take what's for me out of a thing.
47:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
47:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
47:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I, um, that was the time why I will argue why I felt the way about certain artists.
47:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
47:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I can't even, I can't even do a name face match with most of the artists out now.
47:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I promise.
47:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I, you got me actors, actresses, stars, sure I know the name, but,
48:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd be so out of the way, because I don't forget faces.
48:11
[SPEAKER_00]: If I've seen them in some things, I don't know that person's face.
48:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I no longer know this generation's names.
48:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, yeah, you used to couldn't miss me.
48:23
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the thing.
48:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I would never, and that's the thing about is a hate in that.
48:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, sure, I've heard the name.
48:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what they do.
48:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't blindly name 10 local like 10 what they say are the top artists in music right now Without going into my era like if you if you draw the line and say hey nobody Previous or prior to this year right here Can be named so from here to here name 10 You got me
49:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to default to that because my brain is so off that day, yeah.
49:05
[SPEAKER_00]: That line in the sand is in my brain.
49:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't, and that's no hate or shame to the, to the current.
49:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I just haven't exposed myself to it.
49:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I haven't educated myself on it.
49:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't even feel the same way about music in general that I did at the time.
49:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's too accessible.
49:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what it's to it.
49:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what the T-O-O is.
49:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I just, I thought it'd go grab what I want when I want it.
49:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I got to have the weight.
49:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to see.
49:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to wait till you drop it.
49:33
[SPEAKER_00]: It's right here, man.
49:34
[SPEAKER_00]: It's in the cloud.
49:35
[SPEAKER_00]: It's in the cloud.
49:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Go get in and song.
49:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I won't.
49:38
[SPEAKER_00]: So again, that's another discussion.
49:42
[SPEAKER_00]: What you got for the good people in closing, brother?
49:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, sometimes, sometimes because I say it so isn't enough, that's a throwback that I don't know, episode, this is several hundred ago, so sometimes because I say it so isn't enough, yeah, and be mindful of when you're inappropriately applying that logic.
50:15
[SPEAKER_00]: But don't try to be different for attention.
50:20
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not the same.
50:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Being different because that's genuine and who you are versus being different because this is gonna get me attention.
50:29
[SPEAKER_00]: That's too totally different than it's.
50:31
[SPEAKER_00]: No, the difference.
50:32
[SPEAKER_00]: You're born different.
50:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't sacrifice all of that.
50:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Please, if you don't say, oh my god, I get it.
50:38
[SPEAKER_02]: There's gonna be ways of things that appeal to you.
50:42
[SPEAKER_02]: No, just know that,
50:45
[SPEAKER_00]: No, what phase are you in?
50:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
50:48
[SPEAKER_00]: With that being said, but I'm going to say, like, share and subscribe.
50:51
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're still here, then you know, you wanted to real ones anyway.
50:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, share and subscribe.
50:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Stay tuned, pay attention to 2026 is not over.
50:59
[SPEAKER_00]: We're in the, we're one month away from the last quarter.
51:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
51:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's two, three strong.
51:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, two, three.
51:06
[SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna wrap two, three strong.
51:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And working on a live, we're working on a live.
51:11
[SPEAKER_00]: We had a date, dead date, didn't pan out.
51:16
[SPEAKER_00]: So therefore we're now trying to find a working date.
51:21
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the last role block people.
51:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Some people ready to fly in to participate.
51:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, and guess what?
51:27
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's all right.
51:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to give you too much too soon.
51:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Stay tuned.
51:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Stay focused.
51:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Continue to support.
51:33
[SPEAKER_00]: We feel the support.
51:34
[SPEAKER_00]: We've been receiving it.
51:35
[SPEAKER_00]: We're grateful.
51:36
[SPEAKER_00]: We're thankful.
51:37
[SPEAKER_00]: The design network is a real thing.
51:39
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a real thing.
51:41
[SPEAKER_00]: website up in jumping merch.
51:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody that sees me ask about the shirts.
51:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I've tell them the website website up and running.
51:48
[SPEAKER_00]: The deer sun shot dot store.
51:51
[SPEAKER_00]: The deer shot dot store.
51:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, I got an order from the podcast website.
51:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, I need to show that there.
52:01
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna fill it, but I need to, I need to fill it there.
52:04
[SPEAKER_00]: So I had two stores running, but the push now is the dear sunshop.store, the dear sunshop.store.
52:14
[SPEAKER_00]: As usual, per usual, head out of town.
52:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So say this time tell me what you hear man.
52:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here during the week like like like with there you go You said it.
52:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
52:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm here.
52:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm here.
52:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm here.
52:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm here.
52:41
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm here.
52:41
[UNKNOWN]: I'm here.
52:41
[UNKNOWN]: I
52:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, continue to support we love it, man.
52:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you all, the deers on our show, peace.