Latest / The Thriving School Podcast with Jenni Awesome / Starting Over After Divorce: Reinvention, Self-Discovery, Finding Yourself Again: Jennifer Anderson
Transcript
- Jenni Awesome: And thank you for tuning in to this episode of the Jennifer Awesome Podcast. Today's guest is someone whose story reminds us that we don't have to fit into just one box. Jennifer Anderson is a photographer, entrepreneur, life coach, barista, creative, creative human being, and someone who has built her life around connection, storytelling, and helping people feel seen. As the woman behind Autumnland photography, Jennifer captures weddings, elopements, and meaningful moments throughout the Pacific Northwest and beyond. But photography is only one part of who she is. She's recently stepped into the world of life coaching, helping people navigate growth, possibility, and sometimes the messy process of figuring out what comes next. And you just might also find her behind the counter as a barista where connection happens, one conversation, one cop of one cup of coffee, or maybe a chai at a time. I would say that her journey hasn't followed a perfectly straight path, and that's exactly what this what makes this conversation so interesting. So let's dive into talking about the different chapters of life, entrepreneurship. Creativity, coaching, and the courage to reinvent yourself. Jennifer, welcome to the Jenny Awesome Podcast. Jennifer Anderson: Thank you so much for having me. Jenni Awesome: Yeah, so tell us a bit about yourself. Jennifer Anderson: I have moved across the country back and forth a couple of times. I've lived in multiple different states, grew up in Washington though, native to the area, love it. got two wonderful children. I have n recently navigated a divorce. which has been it's a weird season because it's right at the same time as like my kids are much older and they're growing up and like my son's nineteen and he's like living his own life. My daughter's halfway through her high school career and looking at college, and I'm in my late thirties, which like woman to woman, I feel like that's such a transitionary period for like us, I just individually. And then to navigate Divorce on top of that is just it's wild. It's a wild time. But it's also like I feel like it's almost like a second start to try and like stay hopeful and like positive about it. So I'm not, yeah, I'm not viewing it negatively. But it's it's a fun period though, with a lot of new all the time and just a lot of hope every day for some grand new adventure. So Jenni Awesome: Yeah, and keeping that positive attitude, that positive mindset is wildly important as we're going through these transitions. Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Yeah, it has been honestly. just trying to find a silver lining every day has really helped me get through the entire process. Even on the really rough days, I'm like, hey, you know what? Like, I come home and my house is like quiet and it's peaceful and it's, you know, it's got some piece of art up that I chose personally and is a reflection of me right now. And so it's really like through this situation in this whole season, it's been like a rediscovery of myself on a deeper level. And that's been like it's just been such a blessing, honestly, really. So, yeah. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. You mentioned that you come home, it's peaceful. That's kind of the transition that we're going through right now as parents. So we have we're a combined family. We've been together for 10 years. he had three, I had two. And so his three have all grown, graduated, moved out, and we have my two that spend every other weekend with their dad. So while we're used to the kids being gone. It's still a bit of a weird transitional phase of okay, we don't have kids all the time. Like there's some some quiet Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: moments and and so it's it's a bit of a transition for us too. Jennifer Anderson: That is, that is a transition for sure. It's a weird feeling because they've been a part of you like for so long. And it's interesting when there's like when you have to when you don't have to consider them in your daily schedule, right? Like I remember everything Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: in my schedule working around my kids. And now there are these moments where like they're out doing their own things. And I'm like, it's a hundred percent me time. What do I do with that right now? Yeah. Jenni Awesome: Yeah, and my my daughter just got her driver's license too. So I was and we took Jennifer Anderson: Mm. Jenni Awesome: this step. I just got her a cell phone since she's starting community college in the fall. But I sent her a message. I'm like, Hey, I need to take you guys for concussion testing. She's like, It's already handled. We've got it scheduled taken care of. I'm like, What? I don't have I don't have to make this happen. my gosh. Jennifer Anderson: Nice. Isn't that so nice though? It's like, it's such a like beautiful thing. It's so fun like watching your kids grow up. Like it's been so fun. Like when they do take something over like that, I'm like, you guys really are tiny little adults that someday I will not have to manage in any capacity. And it's like Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: it's interesting and it's fun. And I mean, there are moments where it is a little sad. Sometimes, like, because I'm like, I wanted to do that for you, you know, as your mom or whatever. But it's also like just a bless blessing watching them grow up. So it's been fun. And navigating this whole season right now, too, with a divorce and seeing how it's hard, but in other ways, it's also like they've matured and like I don't know how to say this, but like it's like open doors that I don't think would have been opened with both parents in the house, where they've had to take charge in some areas of their lives. And so that's been really unique to see. Not that I would wish anybody go through a hard situation, you know, but it Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: does grow you in certain ways. And so watching both of my kids like their eyes be open to certain things and them see the world a little differently now. But like having like I think a deeper understanding is been a really interesting journey to walk together. So and there's definitely like good points and bad points, right? Because you never want to see the people you love sad, but it's still been it's been nice. Yeah. Jenni Awesome: Yeah, it's one of the things that I've been learning about. So I got divorced eleven, ten, eleven years ago, some something along those lines. And I'm learning more and more about how in this journey that we're in, people come into our lives and they play a different role. Some people Jennifer Anderson: Mm-hmm. Jenni Awesome: are meant to stay in our lives for the long haul. Some people we meet for a short period. And while divorce, I I don't wish divorce on anyone. You're right. It is a huge moment for you to be able to model for your kids of, okay, I was very intimately involved with this person. This person still means a lot to me, even though we're divorced. And Jennifer Anderson: Good. Jenni Awesome: how do you navigate those feelings? Jennifer Anderson: Yeah, I mean, I think that it's like I heard this analogy a while ago and it was like you you have like a house, right? And some people are like in your living room and some people are like in your kitchen or like in the front yard or in the garage and it just is in relation to like what role they play in your life and how close they are to the center of you because the center of your home is like where your soul would sit, right? And so Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: maybe that person at one point sat in the center of my home with me, but now they can't. Because that relationship has ended. But at the same time, they can never fully leave my property, if you will, because they are connected to my children. They're the father of my children. To some capacity, we'll always still have that relationship. So it's just learning how to restructure in a way that in the end creates the most peace and balance for all of us. And I think that's where a big growth has been for my kids is what roles mom and dad play in their lives now, especially as they're continuing to grow up. And so the biggest thing that I've tried to foster with both of my kids, which they're teenagers, so I'm not always going to want to talk about everything, but is the difference between like honest communication and open communication. Because honest communication is is like, I ask you a question and then you don't lie, right? Like you tell me how you're feeling in the moment and what it is that you need for me or the boundary that you're needing. But open communication is before we get to the meltdown of like, hey, what's going on? Why are you upset? Why are you know what's bothering you? Where do we need to set a boundary or what do you need from me right now? It's in the moment, you being before we get to that point, it's you being honest about how you're feeling as events and like our schedules and our lives are unfolding and what you can feel and predict that you need going forward. And then sharing that with me ahead of time so that we can avoid any mess along the way. And so Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: I'm trying with just communication being the biggest key is how we're just navigating through everything because there are some days where you're just gonna be really upset and angry and frustrated or the kids are gonna feel stretched thin because they have to go back and forth. And then there are other days where we're all just flowing and it's fine and the sun is shining and the birds are singing and it's Jenni Awesome: Mm. Jennifer Anderson: just an easy day for everybody, right? And so I think just it really comes down to just communication, which is tricky because everybody's gonna have different needs and even different communication styles and different boundaries. And so meeting all of them is just it's tricky at times, but we're working our way through it for sure. And I think in the end, the biggest thing I've tried to encourage the kids is it's like, while I'm finding myself, this is also a season for you guys. I mean, that's what teenagers go through. This is that season where they do Jenni Awesome: yeah. Jennifer Anderson: start figuring out what they like and don't like and the mistakes you make along the way when you try something out and you're like, that really wasn't for me you know? So Jenni Awesome: Yeah. And and we're driven by more than just our hopes and dreams. We're driven by hormones. We're driven by, you know, all all Jennifer Anderson: so many things. Yeah. Jenni Awesome: so many things. And I was just thinking about of how would I how would I relate that season of being a teenager? It's kinda like being thrown into the pool and not having a choice. And so you you you have all these different floats you can try out, you can try the slide, but you're in that pool for quite a while. Jennifer Anderson: Yeah, yes, you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, and it's also like what are your friends doing, right? There's always that factor of like Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: just the community and the people you're surrounding yourself with. And I mean, I'm sure you can attest to this, but the same friends you start out with your freshman year are not the always the same ones you end up with in your senior year. And so that also Jenni Awesome: Right. Jennifer Anderson: fluctuates throughout the whole cycle. And so yeah, a lot of shifting, a lot of changing, but I'm okay with change. Change doesn't make me nervous. I think the biggest thing is just knowing who you are or at least the foundation of what you're okay with as you go through change and then you'll make it Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: through just fine. So yeah. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. I I agree with you. The the only constant thing in life is change. And I I know a lot of people that don't like change. And and honestly, I was thinking about how as a teenager, I think that's where our level of awareness starts to really set in. And and, you know, we're building some of those foundational pieces of who we are. And even me growing up, there have been things that change where it's like, man, I didn't realize how resistant I was to. change just just the way that I grew up. But I I wanted to touch on you you mentioned the late 30s being a woman. I'm on the other side. I'm early 40s. I recognize the huge transition that I've experienced. What what are you recognizing as, you know, you're going through that late thirties, soon to be early forties transition as a woman. Jennifer Anderson: I would say I think it's maybe a little bit tied in with the divorce. I think they're kind of the same because I have friends that are also in their late 30s and we're con I guess we're comparing notes, if you will. And it's I think it's just that like reconnecting with myself on a deeper level, you know. I did have children younger, so I am at that stage where I do have a little bit more freedom in my schedule, which we just covered, but It's not caring as much, I think, about what other people think of me. It's being willing to be weird and silly and be myself and say yes to everything, like being on this podcast. and just like reconnecting and rediscovering myself without the like I don't really care what anybody around me thinks, you know, like again, going through The divorce recently, like that can be something that's a very taboo topic for a lot of family members, couples, people within your community. they can be uncomfortable with it for many different reasons. And I respect that entirely. It can be triggering for them if they had experienced that and it was really harsh or negative. But there's always a lot of opinions that come with it. And I feel like there's a lot of opinions that just come from the outside, from our community's family, friends who care about us, but they'll say, Don't pursue that. Don't try this. Don't do that. And now that I'm like in my later 30s, I'm like, you know, I really just don't care what anybody else's opinion is on me right now. I'm confident in who I am. I know what I want. I know what I like. I know at the foundation where my soul sits, where my boundaries are, what I'm okay with and what I'm not. And I'm willing to go out and pursue the things that I want to pursue, even if it doesn't make sense to somebody else. And along the way, I don't have to look perfectly polished and I'm gonna have a day where I'm just exhausted and I'm still gonna be trying my best or whatever because there's obviously I know hormonal changes that are on the way. And Jenni Awesome: yeah. Jennifer Anderson: so but I'm okay with it. Like I'm just so okay with everything in my life right now. I just have a sense of peace that I feel like I didn't have in my early 20s where I felt like I was still trying to prove myself. And I think in my later 30s, I'm more like, I'm here, I'm always here. w however I show up, it's still always me a hundred percent. And I have the confidence that if you don't vibe with that, that's okay. And I'm willing to like let that relationship go. I'm willing to let your opinion go and not let it bother me like it used to. And so I think Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: it was more of that kind of a change that I noticed in my later 30s is just that level of I guess confidence that I didn't have maybe in my twenties, you know, to be fair. I was also exhausted with little kids. So but yeah. Yeah. I would say that would be Jenni Awesome: That is true. Yeah. The Jennifer Anderson: my biggest thing. Jenni Awesome: you talk about the mind space that that, you know, little kids taking care of our kids has always, you know, taken up in in our lives. And so being able to find that time of, okay, now I can really focus in on me. I mean, that's such a freeing moment in itself. It's a little weird. It's it's kind of strange. And once you get used to it, it It gives you a beautiful opportunity to grow, to blossom. So I'm wondering what are some of the things like how did you get to this point where you you've gone from really caring about what others think, kind of I'm gonna say maybe controlling to now you're more open, you are, you've surrendered, you have that level of peace. What are what are some of the things that you've done to help you find these things in yourself? Jennifer Anderson: I think it was Honestly, learning how to set boundaries. I think the anxiety that I felt when I was younger was a lot tied to a lot of like shielding myself, right? Like the caring what other people thought or maybe feeling this like I can't be comfortable being myself around these people was a way of protecting myself just because I had also had a bit of a rough childhood. And so I learned to just I was a big people pleaser. You know, and that's what that was mostly just to protect myself, right? It was to keep myself safe from having to deal with more stress or, you know, just a lot of confrontation or feeling rejected, what I think was a big one. And so learning how to stop people pleasing, setting boundaries and saying no when I didn't want to do something, and then taking risks and trying things, even if it failed, really I think opened up the door to me feeling a lot more comfortable and confident in who I was. So yeah. Jenni Awesome: I love that. Did you do some are you a journaler? Like is that did you do journaling with Jennifer Anderson: Whoa. Jenni Awesome: it too? Or? Jennifer Anderson: Yeah, I mean I do some journaling for sure. I definitely started meditating because that really helped me balance out the anxiety that I was feeling a lot. and then I just got back and this is so weird, but I I just walk all the time and I really loved that. But the walking was helping me process my thoughts and really separate what was my thought about myself or my opinion on a subject or a matter or how I was truly feeling about a situation that had come up in like my life or our family's lives versus what everybody else's opinion was. And so I do some journaling, but I think that I talk too much and move my hands too much like I'm doing right now to sit still and journal all the time. So when I was like in the thick of it and really dealing with like something that was heavy, I needed to go for a long walk. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: But it was silly because that was something that for many years when my kids were little, I just stopped doing because I felt guilty because I'd want to go walk for like two hours. Cause I really like like a long, long walk, you know. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: or where we live in our area of Washington, we hike, right? So I would go do like little hikes and it was both. Yeah, yeah. I Jenni Awesome: I was gonna say, are you walking or are you hiking? Jennifer Anderson: mean, so like right now I live in a neighborhood, I'll loop the neighborhood like twice, you know, kind of a and it's like a big loop or whatever. But depending upon where I lived at what point in my life I might be walking or or hiking. But when your kids are littler, you feel bad like leaving for an hour, hour and a half, you know. I would feel bad if I like went to a yoga class or whatever. but doing those things, just having those separate moments to like process all of my thoughts and talk myself through it and separate the two is really what helped more than anything. So which is that's hard. Sometimes our lives are so busy, our schedules are so demanding and our family life is full, which is a that's all a blessing. But then it is hard to have those like alone moments to just hear our own voices. And that's what I was like seeking. So once I could hear my own voice again, that's what changed everything. So Jenni Awesome: I love that. And I what's coming up for me is I I love walking too, but I also I grew up with my grandparents, always wanted to go for a drive, like Sunday drives, that was a thing. So I would I tend to drive when I need that space and just go drive around. I would take my kids for nap drives all the time. you know. Jennifer Anderson: I love that. Jenni Awesome: But there is, you know, there's no reason if, you know, if you're a parent, you're listening to this podcast, you can put your kiddo in a stroller or take your kiddo with you on a walk and show them, hey, this is this is what I'm doing. And then Jennifer Anderson: Mm-hmm. Jenni Awesome: when they see that, this is good, this is healthy, you know, it the kids are gonna recognize you're out there doing something for you too. And so Jennifer Anderson: Mm-hmm. Jenni Awesome: they understand that, you know, mom's going for a walk. It's important for mom. I just I just sent a video to I was talking to my mom yesterday and I was at the gym and I did a little video of me on the elliptical and and waved and my niece said, Are you being buff? And I'm like, Yes, I am being buff. Jennifer Anderson: I love that that's so cute. That's really sweet. Jenni Awesome: I know. So I took a picture of my husband 'cause he was next door, n right next to me. I'm like, So's Uncle Brandon and she's like, Uncle Brandon's being buff. So yeah. I know. Jennifer Anderson: Aww. I love that. I agree completely. It is such a healthy thing to show our kids how we take care of ourselves as parents and adults. A hundred percent it was not something that I was good at. And I'm getting Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: better now. And thankfully they're we're still all enough in each other's lives that they see mom is now making those changes and choices. But I definitely will be honest and say that I struggled with that a lot when they were younger. So Hindsight's twenty twenty, right? We'd all go back and change a few things if we could. Yeah. Jenni Awesome: That's right. So I Before we continue today's episode, I want to take a moment to talk about a mission that has become incredibly important to me. Every child deserves to grow up feeling safe, protected, valued, and free. Unfortunately, children around the world are being exploited and trafficked every day. And I don't believe we can simply hear about it, feel terrible, and move on. We have a collective responsibility to do something, to act. That's why I'm raising funds to support the fight against child trafficking and child exploitation and the organizations working to identify vulnerable children, rescue victims, and help survivors rebuild their lives. And you can do something. You Can be a valuable part of this mission and this work as well. You don't have to have thousands of dollars and you don't have to be an expert. You simply have the opportunity to decide that protecting children matters. Donate, share the mission, start a conversation, pay attention, use your voice. Because when enough ordinary people Decide that protecting children is our responsibility, extraordinary change becomes possible. If you'd like to stand with me, visit community.org backslash fundraiser seven three seven one zero two six. Together we can turn awareness into action, hope into impact. And create a world where children are protected. Protecting children is everyone's responsibility and it starts with us. want to talk to you about photography because what what I recognize about people who are really into photography is that you have a different way of looking at things. You can see an image and you can capture it in in a in a different sort of way than maybe the average person sees. So talk to us a bit about photography, what got you into it. Like just tell us about your photography. Jennifer Anderson: Okay. so I first really got into photography when I was actually like in high school. There was we had like a digital photography class and it was a lot I had a lot of friends in it. I wasn't in it at the time, but so we would go out together in groups and take photos, and that was really what sparked it for me. Initially, when I first started photography, like probably 10 years ago, like with an actual nice camera, like a really nice it was a Canon DSLR. I was just taking a lot of photos of our adventures as a family. We were very outdoorsy. We camped, hiked, backpacked, all that kind of stuff. And I wanted to remember those moments because there were beautiful locations that we'd gone out to that you could only hike to. So they weren't like Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: our neighborhood park. And so I wanted to capture our family there because it was it could have been a once in a lifetime memory that I would never get back, especially with my kids at that age. And so that really meant a lot to me. Then as it blossomed into me working with people and doing portraits and weddings and families, it was just that understanding of how important a season and a moment really is. My grandparents have, I'm very close with my grandparents, and I they have just they have held on to generations of records and photos as far back as our family has them. And they've become kind of like if you will, like the historians or like, you know, the history keepers of like our Anderson line. And so, and I've told them I was like, at some point, far off in the future, I'm like, I want those photos. Like I want to hold on to those for all of us and then pass them on eventually as well. But that's what photography was for me is it was capturing the moment. And there are times where I'm at a wedding and it's I have a shot list of, you know, fifty different Couples, family members, cousins, nieces, nephews that the couple wants. And those are all really special. And I would never take away from the value of those because some of those family members flew in from across the country to capture those photos with the bride and the groom. But it's the candidates that mean the most to me because those are when people are just being themselves with their loved ones and laughing or holding each other, snuggling, you know, giggling together, sharing just such an intimate, special moment. And that means everything to me. I still have that aspect of loving that outdoors, although I do love an in-home session, but being outside with people, I feel like is just it's such a like tender and sweet moment and it's such a passing and fleeting moment. And so capturing that on camera is really important for me. And that's really where it all blossomed and started was with my kids and how many annoying photos I'm sure I took of them for many, many, many years. But then wanting to do that for other people and capture a moment because you just never know when life is going to change, like we've talked about. Right. That's Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: the only consistent. And so capturing that stuff on camera is really important to me. Jenni Awesome: I love that. That's absolutely beautiful. One of my I have a so my my daughter, Kaylee, her grandfather is a photographer. He used to work for the Navy. Jennifer Anderson: That's cool. Jenni Awesome: He had photos in different galleries and stuff over the years. Jennifer Anderson: That's cool. Jenni Awesome: so I used to have a knitting and crocheting business. And I would set up the whole like here's a backdrop, all the lights and everything, and and this little contained area for pictures. So she wanted to take pictures of she put her teddy bear there, like some glasses on the teddy bear, dressed up the teddy bear. And so she's practicing taking photos of the teddy bear in this enclosed space. And then I took a picture of her doing all of that. And it's one of my favorite photos because she didn't even know that I was doing it and just watching her. thought process as she's going through like, how do I make this? How do I do this? And like you're saying, it's it's those moments that we don't want to forget that it's Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: it's let's get get that photo. Jennifer Anderson: Yeah, absolutely. It's so sweet. And I, you know, that's like that's really cool that your you said grandfather had like I mean, I can't even imagine the photos that he had being in the Navy. He probably got to see some like amazing areas and locations around the entire world. That's really cool. Jenni Awesome: Well, he he got to take photos of like things that we don't necessarily get to see as kind of the documentation over here at Banger. So we've talked about the keyport banger. He was over there. And so he's been able to see and take pictures and document things that we will probably never get to see. Jennifer Anderson: That's really cool. That see, that's that's the beauty of photography right there. You're capturing a moment that maybe others can't see or it's fleeting or no one else gets to see or whatever. That's what makes it so special and I like that. So that's Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: really, really, really cool. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. And then when you can bring it to light and like like it at a wedding, so all these pictures, it's like I I wasn't even necessarily there as say the bride and to be able to then go see, hey, this is what was happening while I was busy doing whatever. I mean, it's it's beautiful. Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Yeah, it is. Yeah. You're getting to share special moments with everybody else. Cause there is always going to be a portion of family, friends, or coworkers that could make it. And so Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: sharing weddings or I mean, now I have friends that have kids that are younger than mine and having this digital era of everybody having a wonderful camera on their phone. We're always like sending photos back and forth of all of our kids and like all of our little adventures. And it's so sweet. It's like this. image journal of our lives and our families as we all grow and go through so many seasons together, you know, which is such a unique, like I don't know how this is gonna sound, but it's such a unique time and era to live in that we can capture so much of our day to day lives and so many moments of our families and our children and all of us just growing and it's it's beautiful. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: I really love it. So it's like go ahead. Jenni Awesome: I will say one thing I do miss though is that I used to because we wa we had to print them out, I used to sit as a kid and go through all the pictures or find the my dad had a video camera. So I'd find the camera, the video and and go watch the video. And Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: we don't print out the pictures like we used to. So it's it's I kind of miss that aspect of Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: it. Jennifer Anderson: I agree. I miss that too. And I there could be like somewhere some therapist is gonna hop on and say, like, there's something psychological because we have so many photos that we're like desensitized to printing them now, maybe. But Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: I do encourage my clients and my couples to try and print at least a couple of them, you know, hang them up. I think that there's something so positive too about hanging up a photo of mom and dad in a young children's room with them. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: And so if they can print one or two out and put them up on the wall, you know, even if they have to use like command strips 'cause they can't put holes in the wall, like I would encourage that highly. So yeah. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have, when my ex and I got divorced, my daughter still has pictures of her and her dad from like daddy daughter dance. There's some Christmas photos that we still put up every year because it it is an important part of her life. And I'm Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: I'm not gonna deny her that just because we we're no longer married and we don't live together. But yeah, she still has those photos up and my stepdaughters had pictures of their mom because that's what was important to them. So it's, you know, Jennifer Anderson: We Yeah. Jenni Awesome: it's what's important to them. It's their I s I think it's their room, their space. They we want kids to be surrounded by as many people as love them as possible. Jennifer Anderson: Yes, absolutely. And if you can find a few photos that mean that much and you hang them up, then those are like key highlights, right? In the timeline of all your other photos that you're taking, which still Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: tell your story. But at the same time, like those are the spikes, right? Like those are those like really like key moments where you're like, I want to remember that often as possible. So yeah. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. All right. So you have shared quite a bit about your journey, the amazing revelations that you've had, where you're at, and kind of a more peaceful place in your life. You talked about you're going to get into life coaching. Do you want to tell us a bit about that? Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. thank you. I have had such a weird like unfolding of my life. So like having moved around, having gone through kind of a rough childhood, unique marriage and just the like challenges that came with all that, which we don't have to get into all that right now, but just all these like very random experiences and then I've also like because we've moved around so much and the kids were always a priority that I was mostly with the children. So with that being said, I worked random jobs. Like just, I mean, at one point I was like an Uber driver in Seattle, but I was like, wouldn't Uber drive until my husband came home. So typically I was picking up people from bars until about two or three in the morning. and so many amazing stories would come out of that. And I would meet the most interesting people and There were moments where, like, I would be picking people up from the airport, and they would have these really unique or random jobs. And we would just have these really lengthy conversations about like life and the things that they'd experienced and what they'd gone through and what they'd learned through everything, and then where I was at and what I was dealing with and going through. And I think just all together combined, and then having gone gone through hard things, experienced things, but still remaining intact. And again, like we talked about, like. Finding my voice, hearing my voice through all of it, I realize that a lot of people around me aren't hearing their own voices. They're still hearing Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: the voices of their family members, their spouse, their coworkers, their kids. And I'm not gonna put anybody down and say that those people who are speaking into their lives are necessarily doing it negatively, that they're not doing it out of love, but they're doing it through their own lens, their own experiences. the challenges that they're not overcoming or the pressures that they're feeling and they're imposing those on somebody else. And so with my life coaching, my biggest thing is just to try and help anybody I'm working with find and hear their own voice again entirely, like through the mess of life, through the schedules, through all the demands and all the responsibilities and the job and the holidays and the families and everything else, just at the end of every day or at the start of your day. Are you connecting with yourself? Are you hearing your own voice first and deciding what you want your day and your week and your month and your life to look like? And then how can we build everything else around that? So that's my biggest, like my biggest hope for anybody that I would connect with and work with. Jenni Awesome: Man, that is a huge goal, a huge, amazing goal in this day and age, too. Of we've talked about the media, the pictures, the things that are just we're inundated Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Yeah. Jenni Awesome: with all the time. And even as I've been going through this journey and I'm I'm I would say I'm a pretty self reflective person too, being able to recognize my true authentic voice versus What are the stories that I've played in my head? What what am I still carrying? The guilt and shame Jennifer Anderson: Yeah what? Mm-hmm. Jenni Awesome: and and is that really my voice or is that just a story I'm telling myself? Jennifer Anderson: Absolutely. And those would be like archetypes, right? It would be like maybe in a moment I was a warrior and I needed to step up to the plate and defend myself or situation or my family and push through, even though I also needed to step back at some point and just have a hug and take a break. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: But I didn't feel like I could in that moment, right? Or maybe like this is me putting myself on the chopping block, but I was a big people pleaser. And That was just like a character that I took on at one point to protect myself and I know that now. So the seasons of life that I've gone through and the stories like you're saying that I've told myself that we've all told ourselves in a moment, whether it was coming from the outside, you know, it was there because it was our body trying to protect ourselves in that moment. And so there's no shame in it. But now how can we get back? You know, how can we find get back to that center of our living room, the center of our house where our soul sits? And just connect with ourselves truly with ourselves because we get one life and it goes by so fast. And it's like, why waste it? Like, why waste it letting everybody else's opinion shape your life? And you're gonna get to the end of it. And then you're like, I maybe had a few years out of all that where I truly felt like myself, and the rest of the time I was performing for other people, you know? So yeah, yeah. And I will Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: say this too: like, there's a lot of benefit and blessings that come with social media and the age of information that's constantly being shared. I think that that's wonderful to an extent, right? because we're learning so rapidly, so fast. There's so much information that can constantly be shared. And I am grateful for that. But if things are out of balance and we're letting social media influence us too much as to who we should be and who we shouldn't be and how we should live our lives, then obviously that's not that's not helpful. So Jenni Awesome: Yeah. And it's nice to be able to disconnect from the phone, from the social media. And Jennifer Anderson: Yes. Yeah. Jenni Awesome: even that in itself, putting your phone on silent for maybe even 15 minutes for some people to start, like that is Jennifer Anderson: Mm-hmm. Jenni Awesome: completely freeing. And as you go through and maybe you're off your phone longer, or you take a week off of of Facebook, TikTok, whatever is. Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: just the momentum of then, okay, so now now what do I do? How do I find myself? How do I recognize who am I when I'm not on social media? It's it's a huge opportunity. Jennifer Anderson: Absolutely. Well, because okay, and I'm like obviously we remember the era before social media and before like everybody having a computer in their pocket. We were bored as kids. And that boredom sparked so much creativity. It also taught us how to like self soothe and not to disassociate or check out all the time. And now it's like, you're bored, Doom scroll. you have five minutes, Doom Scroll. How many people stop at a stoplight in their car and immediately pick up their phones because they can't not be simulated for Jenni Awesome: my gosh. Jennifer Anderson: 60 seconds. It's crazy though, but it's like that's not what our Jenni Awesome: You're driving the car. Jennifer Anderson: I know, but honestly no. Seriously. Stop at a stoplight and then wait and like look and you'll see everybody picks up their phones. Jenni Awesome: My husband does it. My husband does it all the time and we're like, get off your phone. You're driving you're driving this two thousand pound vehicle. Get off your phone. Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Yeah. Right. I know. But you know, we're they're not moving in that moment. There's that justification, right? It's like it's not a green, it's a red. So somebody else is going and somebody will honk Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: at me if I miss the green, right? But yeah, Jenni Awesome: Ha ha ha ha. Jennifer Anderson: it's like it's crazy. We just are constantly overstimulated, and I think that also drowns out our voice. And so Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: it's like, can we sit? something that I've worked a lot on in myself is and something that I hope to help other people with is just can we set routines in place where you can not immediately reach for stimulation, where you can just allow like a slow moment to happen, you know? And for some people, and I will throw this out there and I know that this is probably gonna be difficult for some people, but can you take all the social media apps off your phone? And just go back to scrolling Facebook or Instagram or TikTok on your like computer. I don't even know if TikTok can be on your computer, but like can you set okay, there you Jenni Awesome: I found out today it can. I I found out today it can. Jennifer Anderson: go. Okay, yeah. The other thing too, and I mean I do have an iPhone. I don't know about other like brands of phones, but we actually have on the iPhone have like a like a screen limit. And this little like hourglass figure pops up and it's like, you've reached your hour of social media for the day. And then it shuts off all your social media apps so you can't like log back in, which is Jenni Awesome: Well, that's cool. Jennifer Anderson: cool and helpful if you're somebody who doom scrolls too much or whatever. But yeah, I don't know. There's so many ways in our modern lives that are, and I'm not trying to put down like modern living, like again, there are benefits and blessings to it, right? But it everything needs to be within balance. And I Jenni Awesome: Mm. Jennifer Anderson: just feel like my life was out of balance and I'm sure other people's lives are out of balance where we're relying too much on being overstimulated and not allowing ourselves to just be bored sometimes. Because again, that's where that creativity comes. That's also where a lot of emotional processing happens. It's really hard to process your emotions and walk yourself like through a situation and really like navigate. all of the feelings to get to the point where you finally overcome it and you feel peace about it if you're constantly overstimulated because you're just not giving yourself that break. So yeah. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Yeah. Because we just got my daughter a cell phone. Jennifer Anderson: Mm-hmm. Jenni Awesome: My she was sitting there on the couch the day she got her phone, you know, trying to set everything up and watching TV at the same time. And my husband's like, one electronic device at a time. And we all turn to him like, you will be playing on the PlayStation, watching TV on your phone, all at the same time. Not even sure how Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Yeah. Jenni Awesome: you do all of that. But it's like we are so crazily overstimulated. And Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: so the idea of going for a walk, even, like leave your I had a a lady, one of my coaches, she told us the other day that she left her phone at home and went for a two hour walk. And just how Jennifer Anderson: I love that. Jenni Awesome: freeing and uplifting and how much lighter she felt by the end of that those two hours. Jennifer Anderson: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, and I'll throw myself on the chopping block again, but like I've done that. I've had the TV on and my phone on. I I I have definitely it's so easy to slip into it once one stimulation is going, you just add, Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: you know, you know. And I feel like so many of our jobs even, and I will say this too, like as moms and women, we're constantly multitasking all the time. So Jenni Awesome: yeah. Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: having the TV running and me being on my phone is That's a regular Tuesday for me. That's me multitasking again, you know? But if we can work in routines like your friend who would on that two hour walk and without stimulation, without electronics, without technology, if we can work in even just small moments throughout your day like that. You will. You will feel much lighter. You will start to hear your voice again. Yeah. And you'll start to just process things that you didn't even know that you maybe needed to process. Something that you just thought you were over because you said, I'm fine and you brushed it off, but in reality you weren't fine and you really did need to process Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: it. Yeah. Jenni Awesome: Yes. I just saw I was doom scrolling last night while watching Gray's Anatomy and I saw Jennifer Anderson: I love it. Jenni Awesome: this lady she posted I couldn't believe the change in my daughter after I took her off her iPad for two months. Jennifer Anderson: wow. Jenni Awesome: And just I don't know that everyone recognizes that we do become addicted to the dopamine release with our electronics, the blue lights, all of that is incredibly stimulating for our bodies. And so Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: I've had the experience where like even my my son, he has an Xbox upstairs, he plays video games. I have to remind my husband, okay, if he's been up there for a few hours or half the day as a teenage boy tends to do. Jennifer Anderson: Mm-hmm. Jenni Awesome: And we call him down, we need to give him like a twenty, thirty minute like withdrawal coming down time and recognize Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: he's gonna be angry, he's gonna be hyped up because we took him away from his stimulus. And so talking Jennifer Anderson: Mm-hmm. Wow. Jenni Awesome: about how we can see this happening kids, you're talking about we can recognize that this is happening to us as well. And how do we put those routines in place so that we can regulate ourselves? Jennifer Anderson: I mean, I think it even just goes back to what you were mentioning earlier when we're talking about the parents taking their kids on a walk with them in the stroller if they need to. And it's like it has to start with us, right? You can't lead somebody somewhere that you can't go yourself. And so Jenni Awesome: Right. Jennifer Anderson: as parents, we've probably all had those moments where we called our kids out for something that we ourselves did as well. So it starts with just us as adults recognizing that. this is this just like popped up in my head, but something that like I have set up in place for families that I work with. Not that I necessarily work with the entire family, but if I'm working with like the father or the mother or both of a family, you can Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: set together like a family, basically like a Cree. And so it's like, hey, these are the things that we're committed to as a family. Like as a family, we're always gonna find one thing to be grateful for every day. We're gonna prioritize adventure, or we're gonna prioritize like giving back to our community, or we're gonna prioritize XYZ. And we'll walk through a whole list of the things that you want to be the foundation of your family together, you and your children. And then you can always kind of use that in a way to hold yourself accountable as well as your kids and circle back to it. It's like, hey, if we're Supposed to be a family that centers, you know, adventure every day because life is short. And, you know, maybe you have these parents who are just big outdoors enthusiasts. So that's a big part of their like Cree. Well, if you're spending Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: five hours in front of the TV, you're not really seeking adventure, right? So you can use that family Cree as a form of accountability to have you circle back and say, Hey, I think we need to take a break and like let's go outside and play at the park or let's go for a walk or Let's go skip rocks at the local lake, you know, or whatever. let's go ride our bikes, you know, get getting yourself out. So accountability partners are also nice. Or the little hourglass on your iPhone. Anything you can do Jenni Awesome: yeah. Jennifer Anderson: to start with yourself and then influence your children. So Jenni Awesome: All right, so we're getting close to to time. So I wanna ask, is there anything that you wanted to discuss that we haven't been able been able to cover yet? Jennifer Anderson: no, I didn't really have I didn't really have an agenda. It was just nice to chat with you. I'm so glad that our paths crossed and we got to meet. You're such an amazing person. And Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: our first meeting, just getting to share coffee and chat was actually like so much fun. Like I was just on a high the rest of the day. That was such a blast meeting you. So I really appreciate Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: that. This has been a lot of fun. So no, no, I think I'm good. Jenni Awesome: So if any of our listeners wanted to reach out to you, how do they find you? Are you on social media? Do you have a website? How how would someone get a hold of you? Jennifer Anderson: yeah, so I have my photography. I have a website and then I have my Instagram for that and a Facebook. It's all the same. It's Autumnlin Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: Photography. so my website is Autumn Dot Photography. There's no like dot com. It's like dot photography. And then my Instagram is like hello, Autumn Photography. I don't have anything set up for my life coaching yet. I'm working with somebody right now and they're helping me build out my website because there's like a lot Jenni Awesome: Yay. Jennifer Anderson: more in it. Like photography is like, look, I take pretty pictures and I like you know, and like that's my website. But like life coaching is like, here's like the questionnaires and your downloadable PDFs and like us talking through things and working through things. It's way more comprehensive and I'm not that techie. So I need somebody way more skilled than me to help me with that. So I don't have a website for that one yet, but it'll get there. Jenni Awesome: I am super excited for your website to come up. I can't wait to see what you come up with. And since we already got kicked off, we're gonna do the wrap up question. So I ask Jennifer Anderson: Okay. Jenni Awesome: every guest this question because it gets to the heart of why we do what we do. So if you had the opportunity to change one thing. In the next Jennifer Anderson: Okay. Jenni Awesome: generation that would have the greatest positive impact, what would it be? Jennifer Anderson: I think we answered it in the podcast. I think it's less technology. Honestly, though. I mean, it's crazy. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: So much of our lives every single day are dependent on technology. And again, I understand that there's so many like advances that come with that, especially in the medical field. I know that can be very life saving and I respect that so much. But I really think that the amount of even as a millennial, you know, all of us, we've all, I think. integrated so much social media into our every single day existence. I think a little bit less of that would go really, really, really far for all of us. And I will throw myself, not even just the, you know, Gen Z years behind me. But as a millennial, I think that even I and we could use less social media for sure. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. No, I I completely agree with you. And I think Elon Elon Musk said this in a recent article interview. AI and robots are going to be really good at doing everything on the planet except being human. And so the Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: more we can focus on being human, human Jennifer Anderson: Yes. Jenni Awesome: beings, not human doings, you know. Jennifer Anderson: Yeah, or human watches, you know. Jenni Awesome: yeah. human watchers. Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Jenni Awesome: Yeah, I think that's that's where we can make the biggest change. Jennifer Anderson: I agree. I agree. I think that obviously, because AI, robots, all of that, all techno like technology right now is so quick and fast at computing everything, but it's still taking a command from us. And I know that there are some that are thinking on their own, but they're pulling from art and books and literature and poetry and life that we have created and it's just copying it and pushing it out really quickly. But it was like Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: in the end, we were the ones who Created all of that, right? Like we are the ones who created all that art. We are the ones who wrote that poetry and made that music. And it's just a synthetic, fast push out, you know? And so, yeah, I think just being human, being less on social media, a little bit less technology, a little bit less watching TV. I mean, I didn't watch as much TV as a kid, not because we didn't have one, but it's because we didn't have streaming and we had commercials. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: And there was like not always a show on T V that I wanted to watch. So what was I doing? I was outside until Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: that one thirty minute segment that I actually wanted to watch was on. And so I think if we could get back to that a little bit, it would help everyone. Jenni Awesome: I think even even that's a bit of a shift because I remember on TV, like you said, if if there was something if I couldn't find anything I wanted to watch, I would go do something else. Now we Jennifer Anderson: Mm. Jenni Awesome: find we find something that's we can kinda sit and watch it, but we're Jennifer Anderson: Mm-hmm. Jenni Awesome: we're committed to sitting and watching something instead of, well, there's nothing to watch, let's go do something else. Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. I wonder about that now too. I'm like, I wonder so I'm thankful I do know my neighbors, but I remember as a kid growing up, all the places that we had lived, I still always knew all of my neighbors. We still Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: connected with them, had barbecues with them, the all the neighborhood kids played together. And now I look at it and I look around and I'm like, most people don't know their neighbors and their kids aren't playing together. And it's interesting. It's and I Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Jennifer Anderson: wish that we could go back to a little bit of that nineties life. So yeah. Jenni Awesome: yeah, very much so. Jennifer Anderson: Yes. Yeah. Jenni Awesome: Hav having those connections and actually the level of of safety of my kid can be outside for hours and hours on end and I haven't heard from them. We'll see them when it gets dark. Yeah. Yeah, I miss that. Jennifer Anderson: Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. We move the neighborhood that we moved into is smaller. We're kind of like just the one loop and we're closed off. And we we do have like an HOA here. So all the neighbors actually really know each other very well. And so Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Jennifer Anderson: moving into it, there it isn't packed full of kids necessarily, but there are other teenagers and other kids that are like running around and they do all know each other and they do all hang out. And in the evenings I do catch the parents standing out in the front lawn talking to each other and it's really, really, really sweet and I love it. And I wish that every neighborhood had that. So Jenni Awesome: I do too. Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: All right. Well, Jennifer, I wanna thank you for taking a risk and coming onto the podcast today. It was Jennifer Anderson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: tremendous to speak with you again. I look forward to speaking to you again in the future. Jennifer Anderson: Thank you, thank you so much for having me. Jenni Awesome: All right, and thank you for tuning in to the Jenny Awesome podcast. Until next time.