Latest / Jess Ask / Overcoming the Past | FT Tiffany Nicole White | EP80

Transcript

Overcoming the Past | FT Tiffany Nicole White | EP80 · Jess Ask

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Yo, it's your girl Jessica and Smith, and you already
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: know that you've entered the safe space for influencers to decompress,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: have fun and just ask God for another Do you
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: already know what it is? And then you know it's
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: about to get real.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: To be sure to.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Show your girl the love and liken subscribe.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: God for another day.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: Hey, hey, I know we could be another way.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: I got my coffee. Thank you, Desiree only bet thank mister.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Right then, you don't want to hit the button because
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: apparently I don't know how this works. I learned today
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: that Desiree does not learned know how to use a curate.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: I do my curates is different because she she don't
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: know how to use curates. So somebody bless her with
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: some instructions. Okay, yo yo yo, is your girl Jessica S. Smith,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: and you know where you have entered. You've entered the
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: safe space where we create a safe space for influencers
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: to decompress half of and just ask why I've been
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: missing messing up the intro like that. I think it's
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: because we're part of bg TV network now. I think
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm just trying to get it I'm.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Just trying to get the flow. I'm just trying to
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: get the flow. You know what I'm saying.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: You get new things, you don't know how to do
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: it anymore. Okay, listen you guys. I'm super excited for
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: you guys to be here. You already know it's first Thursday,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: so you already know we're going beyond the pull business. Yes, yes, yes,
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: before I get it to it, y'all. I know y'all
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: love this song. That's all right, that's all right, that's
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: already does already, that's already.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: There's what's up you guys?
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Welcome in for another just ass now, she she she
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: normally but I told but I did tell her. I
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: told her ahead of time. I said, Hey, you know,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm really I'm getting real bougie with this,
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: uh this new set up here, and I want to
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: set it to be what I want to set up
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: to be.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: So don't don't come for me, Jessica.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: So before she was starting to interrupt me to give
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: y'all the excuse, she she had a third camera that
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: was looking at her, and then she changed it back
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: as another scene. So we're gonna let we're gonna let
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: her let me. We're gonna let her be excited and
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: stay in her excitement because that's her business. That's her business.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: But y'all were super excited for today. Today is a
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: treat y'all.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Today, I feel like I know, I know, this is
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: about to be a good conversation. Today. We're about to
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: walk heavy. We're about to walk a little heaven.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Okay, because the person that we have here is it's
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: really really a heavy walker okay, and she ain't big,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: so she walked heavy.
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: But before I get into it, you know, it's time
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: for the community. I like, okay, this is a new
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: thing that we're doing here on just as because I
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: want to tell y'all how much I appreciate you and
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: that I see you. Miss to me Go Williams is
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: our community highlight today and for this episode, I want
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: to say thank you. I've been seeing you, uh just
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: appreciate the community. Shout out, share comment. You have just
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: been like a breath of French air. So I want
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: to say thank you, thank you for your support. But
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: I also want to pour back into you that I
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: pray that the Lord bless you, that his face shines
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: a pin upon you, and be gracious to you. The Lord.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: The Lord turned his face upon you, and and and
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: give you peace. Thank you, Holy Spirit, because I almost
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: lost it.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: But I thank you.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I thank God for the peace hallelujah that surpasses all
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: understanding for your life. I think that thank you that
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: there is nothing too great that He will not do
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: for you. I thank you that He is very detailed
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: with you. And I thank God that He created you
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: just as you are. You are important to this earth,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: and so Miss Williams, thank you for support, thank you
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: for rocking with us.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: And I love you.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: We love you here, y'all gonna get my flow on that,
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: because I mean, if I flow too hard, I'll be
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: in a third heaven.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, but I should have wore a different shirt.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Because the woman that we have here is it's something
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: not to be played with.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Okay. The lady, the lady young, but she ain't young.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: It's like her spirit matured. Okay, like she just got
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: a mature spirit. Her story is impeccable, y'all. When I
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: say she.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Loved God and she herself, it's a walking billboard, Okay,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: She a walking billboard of how you can love God.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: And be totally yourself.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: She's into fashion, she's a mother, she is a minister, y'all.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Like we're about to get into all of this. Her
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: story is so grand, so I don't even want to
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: keep going like this. It's just it's just so much.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: So I'm super excited to have the beautiful, the wonderful,
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: the anointed, the appointed, Miss Tiffany Nicole.
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: Why welcome, I'm turned up.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: I just said I turned up. Welcome, Sis, I'm so
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: happy to have you here. I got a whole celebrity
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: in the business. Please, no, no, you didn't want me
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: to go through that, you know. She don't askty y'all,
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: but she she's a whole celebrity out in these streets.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: If you ont TikTok, you might know her like she'd
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: be out here spinning spinning game, spiritually and practically.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Okay, she told the folks the other day, is y'all
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: living above y'all? Means? Did I say it right? She had?
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Don't let social media distract you. So I'm really excited,
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: till Thank you so much for coming and join You
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: are doing some amazing, amazing things. But before I get
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: into my questions, I want to give you the opportunity.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes people don't get the opportunity to
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: tell them tell people about themselves, and I always want
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: to give my gifts that opportunity. So tell us a
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: little bit about yourself, introduce yourself. So I take forget.
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: First of all, I'm no better than just just because
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: I'm a whole I'm a whole heathing as well. When
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: it comes to cracking a joke. But a little bit
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: about me, I don't like talking about me. Fun fact,
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: I don't. I love talking about like things that God
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: has brought me from. But as far as like me,
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: I'm just like, oh hey, y'all, I'm like the definition
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: of an extroverted introvert. We just talked about it life
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: too long ago, my social battery. When it gets to
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: a point, I'm like, okay, y'all, I just want to
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: go crawl in the bed and just you know, but
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: a little bit about me. I'm twenty two years old,
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: so I am young. I'm a baby with a baby,
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: is what I say. I'm a mother of a four
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: year old girl. Her name is Amoyah. She's my entire
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: entire world. I am born and raised in Birmingham, Alabama,
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: I love my city. I have a heart for my city.
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: And then I love all things fashion and jewelry and
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: perfumed because you smell good, okay, perfume. All things make
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: up just all the girly things like I just love.
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: I just I'm a girl's girl. I love being a girl.
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: And then shifting into you know, obviously you know what
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: I believe and all the things. I'm a minister in
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: training at my amazing school. Shout out my Bishop Jonathan Elwoods.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: That was here beyond the pool pitch. Shout out to
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Bishop Woods. We love you, Yes, love bishoping Lady Woods.
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: But yeah, so now I'm in the active ministry a
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: little bit part time. But my career field, which I
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: absolutely love. God just graced me into that at the
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: perfect season, in a big transitional season for me. But
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: I work in criminal defense. I'm in the legal field.
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: I'm a paralegal and legal assistant. So my boss, who's
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: an attorney, who I primarily work for it because I
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: just work for one. Yeah, he works in criminal defense.
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: So I have to deal with, you know, convicted and
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: accused criminals all day, every day. It definitely keeps me humble.
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: I believe that, and you know, my personal testimony and
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: just like my ministry now goes hand to hand.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Which were gonna we're gonna get it to that, okay,
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: because we can't. We can'not not get it to that.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: So I just want to give Like people try to
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: dictate where your story is gonna be or what your outcome. Now,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: let me let you tell tell you about yourself. Yeah,
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: I can introduce you, but no, I'm not affering her up.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Like her story is pretty amazing. Which while I'm doing
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: my research and just I can't even say it's research
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: because I follow you. I follow you, and I think
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: it's very interesting as we talk about you being a minister,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: that you are at.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Even this point.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like I think it's so amazing, and so can
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: you walk me to the point up until Okay, I'm
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: a mother.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: You says, your girl, your baby girl is for So
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: that was.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: It was seventeen eighteen, seventeen eighteen, so you were in
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: high school when you had her. You go from that point,
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: which I know that I think you will adopted as well.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: So you adopted your mother. You go out through all
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: this and now you talk you're minister in the gospel.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: How do we even get there too.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: How did we get there? So first and foremost, you know,
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: the Word of God says training for a child in
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: the way that they should go, and they shore not
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: apart from it. So I'm a fortune PK. So it
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: was drilled into me from a younger and we were
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: Pentecostal Hols. My first Baptist you got to wear skirts.
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: We didn't do that, Oh God, you know. I came
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: in after that, thank God. But you know, because they didn't,
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: they couldn't cut their hair and all the things. But
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: in that I mean my great grandfather, my grandfather, and
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: then my dad, they were all a part of the
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: ministry in some shape or fashion. My great grandfather and
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: my grandfather were preachers, and then my dad was just
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: a minister in a prophet. So we were raising the
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: church five days a week. Like my first time serving
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: in the church was cleaning the bathrooms and in the sanctuary.
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: And then around age. Well, first of all, let's go back.
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: Let's go back a little bit. So before I was
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: even born, I was like, like you had said, I'm adopted.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: So my biological mother she was, you know, a drug addict.
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: I was the third child. I have two older sisters,
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: half sisters, and she was addicted to cocaine while she
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: was pregnant with.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: Me, and so she was doing it while she was
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: bringing with you.
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, she received no prenatal care, like you know how
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: you go to the doctor and like you have you know,
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: ultrasounds and they do your blood work and check ups
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: and they do genetic testing and all the things.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: I never got that.
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: So she genuinely had no idea. And I don't fought
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: her for that. She's since passed, and I honor her
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: life and I honored the place that she did hold.
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: You know, later on in life we got to reconnect,
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: but received no prenatal care. I was born addicted to cocaine,
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: immediately placed into the system. And the system in itself
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: is a whole conversation, especially in Jefferson County, which is
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: where I was. I was born at Saint Vincent's down
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: the road, and so in that growing up, I didn't
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: know who I was genuinely, because I also didn't know,
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: you know, who I came from, what I came from, Right,
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: That was a big battle that I had faced growing
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: up for a lot of my life was I don't
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: even know who my mom is. Because my adopted parents.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: They were all very very open and transparent about that
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: you're adopted, you know, all the things. They did foster
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: care until I was about fourteen years old when they retired.
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: So we would have eight, nine, ten foster kids in
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: a three four bedroom house. Like I didn't have my
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: own room until I was about fifteen sixty.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so it was a blessing though I wouldn't traded
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: for anything. And then moving into like my teenage years,
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: I was very rebellious. I was because we had that
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: many I don't fought my parents, let me clarify, but
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: we had so many kids in the house. I never
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: got that one on one attention. Yeah, And so I
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: quickly figured out if i'm you know, disobedient, I'll get
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: somewhat of attention. It may not be good attention, but
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: it's something y'all recognizing that I'm here. And also, you know,
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: we had a church. We grew up in a very
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: small church, very small. It was maybe like fifty to
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: seventy five members in the little town of Warrior in Kimberly, Alabama.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: But I know about Warrior. I know.
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: You gotta go up the street real bad. You gotta
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: hit some back road. We don't got a red light
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: and none but we don't Kimberly, that's where we live.
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: But yeah, so in that like it was, it was
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: a lie. Because even in school then with me not
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: knowing who I am, I don't know how to talk
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: to people. I don't know how to trust people. I
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: didn't get in too much trouble in school, you know.
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: And I have to grace that for my grandparents, my
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: late grandmother and then my grandfather, because she was an
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: English teacher and librarian. She was not playing that. She
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: was not and so I got that one on one
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: time with them growing up, and that's why I, you know,
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: drew towards them for majority of my life up until
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: you know, the passing of my grandmother this past January.
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: But no, it was. It was crazy. So I didn't
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: know who I was. You have a little girl who
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: don't know who she is, don't know where she comes from,
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: doesn't know. And this is when social media started becoming
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: a thing. So now I'm seeing things this when like
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: vine and stuff was around, I wasn't, you know, in
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: the MySpace, I wasn't in that. I came after that.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: She's making sure that we know that she's young, okay,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: ten years younger than me, and we're not gonna talk
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: about how old how old you look?
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: Good? No so, And that I didn't know who I was.
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: I didn't know, you know, I didn't even have like
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: real friends because I was taught to, you know, be
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: friends with everybody. And you know when high school and
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: middle school, that's when clicks start becoming. I was never
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: a part of that. I didn't fit into one specific clique.
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: I talked to everybody. Yeah, that's how I was raised, Like,
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: no matter you know what shoes they wear, things like that,
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: because I wasn't always in the nicest things. I mean,
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: my grandparents would give me one pair of shoes every
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: school year. Yeah you better make them lass booth. And
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: so I was just you know, I wasn't outcast. I
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: was the black sheep of the family. My my beliefs
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: and my morals went against a lot of you know
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: what we were raised on. The childhood church God Love
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: Them that I was raised in was very political, Like
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: we talked about politics in the pool pit. I didn't
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: like that. And I'm a child. I don't know the
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: first my parents didn't educate me on politics. Because they said,
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: you can believe what you want to believe. We're not influencing,
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: you know, whatever choice you want to have. But the
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: church that we went to heavily talked about politics, and
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: you know, Republican politics and we're going to be specific.
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: And I was like, I don't like this, Like I
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: don't understand, like why are we calling certain people this
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: and that? And I don't understand that. So I never
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: really got into I'm still really not into politics. Yeah,
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: I just you know, looking to who is the person,
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: not really who's the party. And so then the bullying
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: and school started because I didn't know who I was.
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: I didn't know how to stand up for myself. So
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: it was back and forth, back and forth, just constant,
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: and you know, we don't wage war reflesh and blood.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: That was not them kids, I don't hold that to them.
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: That was just you know, the enemy trying to get
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: to me before I was born. Then in the middle school,
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: then in high school. So actually I never graduated high school.
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: Fun facts, I dropped out at sixteen years old. Going
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: into I had failed a year. My eighth grade year
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: I had to repeat because I just never went to
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: school because I just didn't want to go to school,
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: and then I repeated, So then what would have been
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: my junior fall semester, but it was my sophomore I
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: dropped out of school. It was just too much.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: So let me let me put a pall on this
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: great story, baby, because you you're taking us a down
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: a road and she twenty two. I want to keep saying,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: she's twenty two. Were going down to testimonial right now? Okay,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Earlier you mentioned that your mom was doing crack while
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: she was pregnant with you. What side effects did you
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: experience as a child with because of that decision?
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't say, you know, I once she had passed.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: You know, once you reach the age of eighteen, you're
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: legally obligated to, you know, get all of your medical
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: records or all of the records period from the adoption.
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: Because it was a closed adoption, I was not supposed
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: to have contact with her until I was over eighteen
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: or nineteen in the state of Alabama. So, but when
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: she had passed was after I had turned I was twenty,
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: I want to say, yeah, I was twenty. So it
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: was in March of twenty twenty two, and it was
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: then that I had went to my you know, adopted parents.
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: I was like, I want the records, like I want
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: to see you know now. I want to know because
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: before she had passed we had a rocky relationship. But
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: at the end of the day, I knew she had
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: my back and she was also like a black sheep
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: of her family, so we connected on that end. There
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: was a lot of generational trauma that I had learned
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: about from hearing you know, her truth and her testimony
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: and what God had brought her from. Because I didn't
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: know these things. I knew I was battling with this,
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: this and this, but I don't know where it comes
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: from because I don't know where I come from. And
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: the crazy the story about how I even got in
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: contact with them is a whole nother story for another day.
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: But long story short. My grandparents, you know where smoke
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: Ries is, you know where Warrior is? Yeah, so it's
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: like right past Hayden. So it's little bitty and my
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: grandparents live off that exit. And there was a little
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: girl up the street, like they don't have nobody on
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: the street. There was a little girl up the street
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: who would come and visit her dad on the weekends
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: or like every other weekend or whatever.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I.
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: Always knew I was adopted, so I was telling her
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: about it. One day, she went home to Oak Grove,
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: you know where Oak Grove is, over an hour away
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: from there, told her older sister, who just happened to
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: be best friends with one of my sisters, and they
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: put the pieces together. I kid you not. I still
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: have the DMS till this day of where my biological
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: sister reached out to me. Wow, I don't know how
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: they put those pieces together, but they did, and that's
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: how I got connected with my biological family. Now this
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: is before you had your own daughter. Yes, okay, all
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: of this is pre motherhood. So I got prayed. I
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: need this seventeen. It was December January of twenty nineteen,
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: twenty twenty, so this was right before COVID hit. So
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: i'd alread dropped out of high school this point. I
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: wasn't in school. I was kind of just who knows.
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: I don't even that's the glory, Like that's the good
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: thing about Jesus. I don't even remember most of the
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: traumatic things that have happened. Wow, I don't like I
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: have to go look at like pictures or notes or
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: notebooks and journals and like remember certain things because I
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: just don't. Yeah, I don't. And so I got pregnant
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: with my daughter. Her biological father has never been involved.
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: You know, more grace to him. I love to him
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: at the end of the day. You know, at the
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: end of the day, your daughter is funny, You're missing out.
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: But no, genuinely from a pure Hart posture, I do
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: wish him. Yes, that was a big thing that God
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: had to deal with me about. Yeah, so got pregnant
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: then COVID hit. And when COVID hit, ain't nobody.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: Know nothing good? You was pregnant during COVID.
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: Yes, my god, I found out I was pregnant January
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: twenty twenty. It hit February March. So that was when
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: my appointment started becoming, you know, monthly, and all of
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: the things and the way that they had it set
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: up with the hospital that I had went to, only
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: the father could be with you. So I was by
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: myself for all of my appointments. When I was pregnant.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: I would be on FaceTime with my oldest sister, but
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: I mean because she was the only sister that I
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: had that I had children. So I'm like I don't
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: even know what these people are as what's a glucose test?
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Like what is Korea?
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: And then in it all, I'm a child. I mean
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: at that age I thought I was grown. I still
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: don't think i'm grown. I still you know, sometimes I'm
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: like I'm just a baby. Yeah, but I thought I
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: was grown And so ended up having my daughter that September,
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: and it was it was a big transition because I'm like,
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: how am I supposed to be a mother to somebody? Yeah?
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: And I'm still need mothering myself and end it all?
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: Wait, no, no, no, no, don't.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: You're not gonna go We're not gonna go past that
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: question because that's real, right because even I'm not adopted
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: and people know my testimony or whatever, my mom and
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: I have had to continuously build our relationship. My dad
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: raised me and my sister and so not having the
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: mother there and it's like I'm supposed to be something
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: that I don't know how to be. God, how does
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: this happen? Like how do I how do I get
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: in this space? So who was that person that you
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: looked at was at your adoptive mom?
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: Like how did you what did you reach for?
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: Because I know you said you were talking to your
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: sister that has children. Who did you look for to
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: guide you through that mother?
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: It was really my late grandmother. I called her Gamma.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: So if you ever hear me say Gamma, that okay.
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: But yeah, like she she was my girl. Like I
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: told her everything, and it was often followed by a rebuke,
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: but she never went to drop me. It was I'm
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: gonna keep it.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: A bus them them all folks, just gonna.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Get get it straight to you, straight straight.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: So she was the one that was like, Okay, you're
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: wrong for this, and you weren't supposed to be outside.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: But now that we're gone, this this is how you
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: This is how you managed it. Yeah, and I still
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: I didn't mean no, no, girl, don't belt. Also, I
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: still was living at home with my parents. And I
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: want to make it a point to say, like my
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: adopted mom, she did the best for what she knew.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: She had never she was never able to conceive children,
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: so during my pregnancy, she didn't know adam for me
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: because she had never.
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: Been through it.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: That's a whole nother space, a whole thing.
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: So that's why I had gravitated towards my late grandmother
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: and my sister because they had, you know, been through
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: the physicality of pregnancy and all the emotions and all
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: the things neither. My sister was also a teen parent,
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: you know, when she first had her children, so she understood,
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: you know, she was married, but she still understood, you know,
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: being a kid then not having to raise a kid,
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: whole sentence.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: So we've gone from not being mothered to not knowing
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: my identity to trying to figure it out. Now I
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: know who my people are, and now I got to
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: produce something in the world where I don't even know
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: who I am. Testimonial I want to go back to
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: because I want to make sure people hear yo. So
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: we started talking about and then I switched your whole direction.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: We're bringing your baby up, and I apologize with it.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: But we were talking about the side effects, and you
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: got to the point where you got to the point
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: where you spoke to your adoptive parents saying, I'm ready
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: to see the records.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: How was that experience?
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: It was? It was very interesting because I'm having my
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: biological mother's dad was very unexpected. It was expected, but
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: unexpected from an overdose, and it was fitting all about things. Yeah,
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: so I hadn't last that was in March. It was March.
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: I want to say seventh. I don't see, I don't remember,
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: like certain I have a calendar. I love my calendar.
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: But it was twenty twenty two. The last time we
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: had spoke was the previous Thanksgiving because we were just
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: in a space where I had to choose my daughter
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: over my own mother. I wouldn't allow my daughter to
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: go through the same letdowns that I went through. Yeah,
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: And I mean I don't understand addiction. I never will
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: because I haven't been through it as far as you know,
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: with drugs. So I was trying to trying to navigate
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: early late teenage years, early twenties, finding you know, if
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: I want to go back to school, if I want
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: to get into the career field, raising a child, and
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: also basically co parenting with my oldest sister and her
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: husband at the time, like they would get her every
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: week or every other week, and every week like they
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: helped me. It's ton because I was a mess. I'm
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: gonna just keep it a buck. I was a whole mess.
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: And so even with that, you know, I told her,
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: like you need to be clean to be around my child. Yeah,
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: And This was her first grandchild and she never got
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: to meet her kid. And I don't have any regrets
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: about that to this day because I didn't know that
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: she was gonna pass that soon. Yeah I didn't, but
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: I had to. It had come to a point where
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: I had to, you know, put my foot down. Am
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: I gonna allow this generational you know, cycle and pattern
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: to continue? Or am I gonna put my child first?
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: And That's what I've done ever since then, no matter
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: who what, when we're how.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: I So, would you say your child is the reasoning
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: for you your act right that came?
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: by that?
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: Like, yeah, okay, so what was that journey on your
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: development to be better for her? Like?
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: How has that been? And what's been the most challenging
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: part about it?
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: Absolutely I would give fifty percent of it to Amaya
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: and the other fifty percent of it to when I
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: had found myself an abortion clinic when she hadn't even
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: been to mm hmm, so both both child related. But
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: it yeah, well, well yeah.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: We can't touch we got time.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: We're like we got so okay, you said you have
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: a baby, baby, your baby's too and you find yourself
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: in a clinic.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: What is your weeks before?
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: No, excuse me, one week before her second birthday. So
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: my biological mother passed in that March. I found myself
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: pregnant that August. I had got into a really bad,
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: abusive relationship with a coworker. I was working at Hooters
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: at the time.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: You know what, I wanted to work at Hooters in
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: my mind.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: I did, though my mama took me to My mama
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: took me to Hooters because I kept saying I wanted
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: to be a Hooters girl.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: Girl took me to Hooters off of Lake Shore.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's my work, and said, we're gonna eat here
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: for your birthday, your seventy year birthday.
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: Birthday. Girl.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: I saw how short them dukes was. Oh baby, I
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: got nervous. I have stretch marks and jiggly all of it.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: I wasn't that secure, baby.
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: They got they got worse. Mat Okay, so you're working
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: at working at Hooters. Got involved with a cook. He's
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: always not a cook, always a cook.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Chicken good girl.
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: I don't know he was. He was seasoning my good
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: But it was in seeing you know, we were repenting
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: to thank God. No, but he was ten years older
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: than me, so that was another thing. I was in
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: a very vulnerable place emotionally. Mentally. I just lost my
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: biological mother.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, overdose.
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: You know, he was a two time convicted feeling he
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: was on his third striking, he'd be gone for real.
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: He already did a bid in the federal penitentiary. So
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: I'm like, you know, I'm thinking, oh this, you know,
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: this a man that'll protect me and hold me down,
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: and all the things got pregnant. I'm like, dang, I
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: can't do this again. Hold on. And it was saw
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: against everything that I was raised on. I didn't tell
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: a single person, not at all. There was one person
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: I told, and I just saw her last night. She
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: did my daughter's hair and I told her, you know, hey,
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: I need to go to Georgia. And I kind of
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: don't want to go to my myself because I'm not
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: educated on how this you know stuff works. Found myself
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: in Forest Park, Georgia, in an abortion clinic, and they,
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: you know, they gave me two options. You can either
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: have a surgical abortion or medical medicals like you take pills.
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: I'm like, I'll take that. I'm scared of needles, just
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: caught me out of the other one, and that's what
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: it was.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: They send you back with the pills, right.
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: That's with the rest of them. You take like several
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: different like dosages, like on different time frames, and that's
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: what it was.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: And so you had to go home. You didn't just
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: go out and get abortion. You had to bring the
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: abortion home with you. Basically, where was your mind? Like,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: of course, I've never I've never been pregnant whatever, because
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: i've been. I ain't no version, like I know what
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: it takes and I participated, So that's by the grace
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: of God, you.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: Know what I'm saying.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: But I've never experienced pregnancy to even be met with
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: the idea of what would I do if I'm in
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: that situation. Where was your mind it when you were
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: when you were dealing with that process.
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: When I had first found out, before I got to
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: the clinic, before I made my appointment, all the things,
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: and I'm dead broke a this time, so I'm like,
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: hold on, how much is this gone?
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I know it'd.
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: Be more expensive to raise a child, So I'm just
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't know what to do, who to
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: go to, whatever. And I did confide in my oldest sister,
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: the same one who went with me through the pregnancy
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: of I have five sisters, a lot of us, but
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: I confided in my oldest and you know, she had
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: gave me decisions with both places, not just you know,
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: you need to get an abortion. And I was tore
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: up cause I'm like, I've put my family through so
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: much and i just feel like I'm almost to the
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: point of where I'm getting my footing in life. I'm
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: twenty years old, Like I have an almost two year old.
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: She's to the point now where she's kind of being
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: more independent, self sufficient, all the things. And then it's
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: like right back to square one. I'm like, I'm not
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: doing this, I'm not repeating the cycle. So I send
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: and then I have since repented, went to the abortion clinic,
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: got one, and it was after I had my ultrasound
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: that I was waiting on them to come back and
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: tell me if I'm under or over the max limit.
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: I was only five weeks two days, but this was
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: right after Roe V way to pass, so I'm like,
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: I don't even know if I'm going to be able
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: to get this. So I was right under the six
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: week mark, which was like what they qualify still have
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: the ultrasound to this day. I took a picture and
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: a copy of it. And it was right after that
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: when I was waiting in this waiting room all by myself.
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: I can tell you every single detail of what was
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: on the walls and all the things, and God gave
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: me a vision, an epiphany, if you will, and it
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: was what my life would look like if I continued
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: on the path that I was on. He showed me
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: my funeral like from a bird's eye point of view,
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: my funeral, like me in a casket, all of the things,
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: or what my life would look like in ministry because
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: I knew, I knew from a preteen that I was
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: called in the ministry. I didn't want it because I
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: was church hurt, but I was in actuality just hurt
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: by people in the church. I never visited another church
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: outside of that when that I was raised in, so
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: I didn't know that not all churches are like this.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: You you you got me over here about the screen,
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: because what I'm what I'm hearing is that God gave
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: you a vision of you can be like your mama,
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: or you could have been with your Mama's supposed to
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: be making making the connection because I had to make
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: the connection. That's something I think me and you share
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: right now, like the relationship with our mothers had you know,
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: been strained. Now, thank you God that by me and
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: my mom have a good relationship. It's been work, it's
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: been it's been worked that it's been worked. But I
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: thank God for a position where God gave me a Hey,
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: you can make these decisions and be like in the
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: places where you don't want to be like your mom is,
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: or you can go back to be obedient and have
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: this I won't even say glorious because it's not cute.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: It's not ministring for the week.
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: No, it ain't.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: It ain't ministry. It's not for the week. Peter wouldn't. No, Park, Okay,
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: let me tell you about it.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: But it positioned you for prosperity, the prosperity that God
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: wants you to experience.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: I love your story.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: So now you were making this connection with the church,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: and I'm glad they were making this connection because I'm curious.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: We just shout out Bishop Woods, we love Bishop Woods.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Baby bish Woods out there doing a dog golle thing.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: He got the generations out here praising the Lord yes, okay,
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: how do we go from church or to trusting a
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: village such as All Nations fair Field?
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: Absolutely, So I found myself back in the church two
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: weeks after my abortion, still bleeding from set girl shit
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: to me. Two weeks still bleeding. And I was at
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: a previous church that I'm at now, So I wasn't
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: at All Nations when I had first got into it,
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: and that was a much smaller church to a much
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: smaller scale. However, the bishop there still walks heavy. I
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: love them down and and I just needed to be mothered.
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: I needed to be loved. I needed to be pruned
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: and purged of everything that I was raised on. And
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: that's what happened in that church. And then after about
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: a year of being there and all of the character
• 32:12
  Speaker 4: development and just I went through it. I was quick
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: to be rebuked, but also quick to be hugged and
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: loved because I needed more one on one time. I did.
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: So then I had transitioned to All Nations Church. And
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: it's so funny. You know, I love the Holy Ghost.
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: You know I'm about to say I love the Holy Ghost.
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: I do, because as I was getting ready for this event,
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: the Holy Ghost brought something back to my remembrance, and
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: it was the first time I ever saw Bishop Woods
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: you know, preach. It was at Prophetic Khn. That was
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: the first time you saw him preach. It was the
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: first time you know what else having at Prophetic KHN.
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: I don't think you remember this. I prayed for you.
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: I came and prayed for me and prophesied to me
• 32:53
  Speaker 4: about social media that I would be you remember now.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: I remember the I say something about TikTok, but I
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: don't remember exactly what I said, but I remember praying
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: for you.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: I said something about TikTok. But that's all.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: Like that's the thing about prophetic words, like you you
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: know they're coming from God.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: Because what happened, I mean, I.
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: Don't remember a verbatim like with word, but it was
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: basically like God will increase you in the you know
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: space of social media to you know, minister to people
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: you had also spoke to. Like God was healing a
• 33:26
  Speaker 4: lot of deep wounds that I had with daddy issues
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: because I never knew my biological father. I still don't.
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: I have no idea, but I'm in peace with that
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: because I have an amazing adopted dad that is my
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: man like that is my guys. You ever seen like
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: Christine knows Best? Yes, So a lot of people ask
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: me like Tiffany, how are you? Like you know you're white,
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: but like how are you? And I'm like, my daddy,
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: you ever seen Christine knows Best? Because they twins, they
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: you're best friends. That's literally wow, I love him. But yeah,
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: So it was crazy that like the Holy Girls brought
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: that back because I'd never written that down. I mostly
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: like right down and have a lot of the prophecies
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: that I received, you know, to go back over them
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: and stuff. But I was like, oh, hold on, I
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: know this lady from somewhere before.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: Are we ever?
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: I didn't know that you.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: I always thought that you were always a part of
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: all nations. So for you to tell me, even in
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: that moment, that you weren't and that's where you met
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: him speaks on why Kingdom people have to have events
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: like this.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Like this array met her pastor.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: I was just gonna say first pastor pastor Pastor Andrea
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: Gates was the propheticon she was and it may be
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: in a sense it was like literally I saw her,
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: I was like, who is this lady and I just
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: started following her and then the Lord literally led me there.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: When you said, I was like, dang, like I didn't.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: I didn't.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: I didn't even think about that until she was like, no,
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: technically there's a ray met her pastor at Prophetica.
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: Prophetic Coon was prophetic because let's shout out to the
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: funniest thank you. Thank you for having atmospheres that leaders obedience. Man,
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: that's so okay. So you have this moment, and so
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: that's how you got connected. So now I'm curious.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: This is something that there's a ray and I always
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: talk about and maybe you can speak to it because
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: I think I'm still trying to figure it out. You
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: talked about in one church you were open to like
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: rebuke or whatever, and rebuke is a strong word.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: Let's just go it's a it's a very strong word.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: And so I'm curious to know how do you go
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: from a place of being rebellious to be being open
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: to rebuke?
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: Who I didn't. I didn't at first. It was still disobedience,
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: still rebellious. But then when I quickly realized that, like,
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: these people are not out to get me, these people
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: love me, they care for me, they're not dropping me.
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: Because that was the main thing is I knew if
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: I acted out to us, so I would push people.
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: I would say, Okay, how bad can I be in
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: til you drop me and you throw me away, Tiffany.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: That part, that part, that's the honesty, because it's like
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: if you when you're dealing with certain wounds, it's like, yeah,
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: you're saying all this is this cute or whatever, but
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: as soon as I do wrong, you're not off.
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: It was abandonment issues, That's what it was. And they
• 36:19
  Speaker 4: still walk with me to this day. Even it's been
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: I joined the Nations at the end of January this year.
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: I ain't even been there.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: For you girl, You lying, I swear, baby, be right
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: there in the front.
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: And the thing about it is one thing I love
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: about Bishop is he know his flock like you know
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: his people. And so when you bring bring somebody like
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: you up or even Chris Chris, Chris so annoints it
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: so and he yawned. He is so he ynged too.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: Now that I don't know if I can manage that
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: because he being he's stay in the Third Heaven like
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: he do, He's stay in the Third Heaven. But people
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: like but people people that's like really sold out for God,
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: Like I commend him for being able to manage that
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: much much oil because you oily like, let's not even
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: let's not even get it twisted. I know I know
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: what's right here, young or not see oil it Okay,
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: So you say, okay, I still people love me through
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: that point, and I think that it's an important aspect
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: of it because I think it takes a strong person
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: to be able to say I'm going to disciple you.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: That's what you're saying, that I was discipled. I got
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: I got to the place where I am because they
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: discipled me, no matter of the fact that I was
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: at the church or not. And I think that we
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: missed that opportunity as believers because we want to see
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: people change when we want to see them.
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: Change, yeah, like overnight. No, I would say I was
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: a big work in progress.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: I was.
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: And the thing about it I was whether or not
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: you know, I was rebuked or not. One thing. I
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: will give myself a pat on the back four And
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: even up until this day today, I still show up
• 38:09
  Speaker 4: regardless of what I have going on at home, because
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: I know with consistency, you know, we become edified through
• 38:14
  Speaker 4: the word of God. I needed that. Still, I might
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: walk in heavy, but I know I'm not gonna walk
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: out heavy. I knew that because I had seen it
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: time and time and time again. So I was like, Okay,
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: y'all may have hurt my feelings just a little bit,
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: but I'll get over I'll get over it by the
• 38:27
  Speaker 4: time church is over. Yeah, bishap was gonna say something
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: to convict me.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: Y'all got on my nerves, but I'm not gonna di
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: so beg God, that's my thing. Yeah, you'd worked my
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: last nerve.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: You did me a disservice, but I'm not doing God a.
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: Disservice that part.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: And until we'll have to get in my testimony off
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: screen hunting because don't I done talked about it a
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: little bit, but I think that I'm still finding language
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: to articulate it because people will still be like offended,
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: and that's not my That's not my goal is to
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: offend people. I just want to tell my story. So
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: I'm still learning the language for the story, right. But
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: I have had my moments well, like God, I can't
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: take this. But the only reason why I'm here is
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: because you ain't told me to leave yet, and when
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: you tell me.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: To leave, I'm gone.
• 39:13
  Speaker 4: I'm gone.
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be here anymore.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: Like but I also know know that even in that
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: moment whereas I questioned myself, and this is why I
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: have a question for you, is did I know how
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: to allow myself to be pastored? Like?
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: Because like you, I'm a p K.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: Like my dad is a pastor minister, has been for
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: a majority of my life.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: And so I knew God from.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: A standpoint or church as a standpoint, from a preacher's kid. Yeah,
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: not just a servant or not just a congregant or
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: someone you know what I'm saying, a family member. I
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: knew it as a responsibility. So how does one learn
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: what does it look like to be pastored?
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: Absolutely? So who in the beginning?
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: Oh? God created me?
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: Okay, okay, don't take much now, but no, in the beginning,
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: it was hard because I'm having to, But it wasn't
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: that hard because I mostly had a problem, if you know,
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: I mostly had a problem with women telling me what
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: to do because I always because of my mother. But
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: with my dad still having an amazing relationship with me,
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: always loving me, always fothering me. I never really had,
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: you know, anything to say against a male's perspective of
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: telling me. So when it came to you know, being pastored,
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: I was, I just like fit right in and like
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: you can ask both of both of them, I just
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: like you would have never knew that I hadn't been
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: in church in years upon years, because I knew, like
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: you would say, like I knew religion, I didn't know relationship. Yeah,
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: so now I'm developing my relationship with God. And the
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: first thing that I really like dove back into when
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: I had got back into church was Okay, what is love?
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: I want to know what God's says love is? I
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: want that to be my foundation above all. And so
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: that's what I did, Like I studied religiously like crazy
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: against like what is love? Like the Hebrew version, the Greek,
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: like all of the translate. It was insane, like I
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: became obsessed, but I truly wanted to know, like you know,
• 41:19
  Speaker 4: love is patient, love is kind, loved, It is not envy, loved,
• 41:21
  Speaker 4: it is not both. So I wanted to know these things.
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: And then I saw those characteristics in both of my pastors,
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: you know, my previous pastor and now you know my
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: pastor now, and that's what it was. And then you know,
• 41:33
  Speaker 4: you know, some people were gonna be like, well, why
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: did you change churches? There was nothing that happened, like,
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: nothing bad happened. It was truly just God calling me
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: to a deeper place in Him and to get more
• 41:44
  Speaker 4: connected till people could push me into purpose. So with
• 41:48
  Speaker 4: all nations, with it being you know, bigger, and then
• 41:53
  Speaker 4: I guess we could say more established in the most
• 41:54
  Speaker 4: respectable way. You know, I was thrown into their school
• 41:58
  Speaker 4: of ministers. I was thrown into their school of profits,
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: their intercessory team. The church was truly built on prayer.
• 42:04
  Speaker 4: That's what I needed, was a church built on prayer
• 42:07
  Speaker 4: and prayer, a loan and truly to become educated on
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: that because I knew what I was called to do. Yeah,
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: I just didn't know how to get there. I didn't
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: know how to educate myself. So that's where the transition came.
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: And I love all nations.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: I think everybody, everybody.
• 42:22
  Speaker 4: All all day every day.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: It was like the other day I saw y'all.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: It was like multiple people posting about, Hey, if you
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: don't need if you ain't got no church home, basically
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: come to my church. Y'all posted all of that at
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: the same time, and I don't know if that was
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: an encouragement from the pool pit, but it was like,
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: all y'all simultaneously.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: I was like, no, Like did y'all go through social
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: media market?
• 42:44
  Speaker 4: God stays there, like he doesn't just visit, he lives there.
• 42:49
  Speaker 4: And I've been to hundreds of churches in my lifetime.
• 42:53
  Speaker 4: It ain't no place, like all nations ain't no place,
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: even when Bishop is out of town because you know,
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: he's booked and busy on the road.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, even when Bishop's out of town.
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: If co pastor Lady Woods has to step in the
• 43:03
  Speaker 4: pool pit or the executive pastor, or even like a
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: third party pastor that comes in or Chris or I
• 43:10
  Speaker 4: want to say he's our virtual pastor with his respectable
• 43:13
  Speaker 4: I'm not sure, but everybody start to finish because we
• 43:17
  Speaker 4: the main thing that all nations, you know, harps on,
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: is excellence as well as you know, being led by
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: the Holy Spirit. We don't. We have a whole protocol
• 43:27
  Speaker 4: and system steam but all that goes out the window
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: if the Spirit says stay or don't move. And I
• 43:33
  Speaker 4: just love it because it's so people may look at
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: it from an outside point of view and they're like,
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: oh my gosh, that so many people, Like that's so big.
• 43:39
  Speaker 4: I know majority of everybody's name because I make it
• 43:43
  Speaker 4: a point in Our church's built on discipleship and fellowship.
• 43:46
  Speaker 4: So before service or after service, you know, if I
• 43:48
  Speaker 4: don't know somebody, hey, like what's your name? You know?
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: How are you? So?
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: What do you think other churches may be missing out
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: on that?
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: All Nations is getting?
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah? We have life groups so like they are dedicated
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: small groups. Our copastor calls it like find your tribe.
• 44:09
  Speaker 4: But they're dedicated small groups. I don't think, maybe no
• 44:13
  Speaker 4: more than like ten to twelve. It can like vary
• 44:15
  Speaker 4: based on like certain you know, topics or aspects or
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: whatever you want to learn. We do it quarterly, I
• 44:20
  Speaker 4: want to say, or every semester we call it. And
• 44:23
  Speaker 4: Bishop you know, encourages every single person, every member, regardless
• 44:27
  Speaker 4: of if you serve or if you don't, to be
• 44:29
  Speaker 4: in a life group to get connected, to find your people.
• 44:33
  Speaker 4: And I would say that's what it is because we
• 44:35
  Speaker 4: we not only do church together, but we do life together.
• 44:38
  Speaker 4: We do like I could tell you what's going on
• 44:41
  Speaker 4: in somebody's life that I don't talk to every single day,
• 44:43
  Speaker 4: just by you know, casual catch up, like oh yeah,
• 44:46
  Speaker 4: I know this person because of X, Y and Z
• 44:47
  Speaker 4: and they work here, or they do this and they
• 44:49
  Speaker 4: do that. Yeah, we do life together. And I'm grateful
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: because it take a lot to do life.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: You listen, it takes a lot.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: And so once you find, once you find that place,
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: once you find that community, is a bless and right.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Small groups changed my life. Small groups developed my ministry
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: and so or developed me as a person.
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: Shout out, shout out to the Humphries.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: Man, I haven't talked to them in so long, but
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: I was at the worship center and that was when
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: I was first introduced to small groups. So you said,
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: it's a mouthful when you said that, And there's a
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: big disconnect when you don't have the small groups because
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: church could be very cliquish. Ye weary girl, Oh my,
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: this is my my family pew. If y'all gonna go
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: throw that pew away, I'll think it for you, like,
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: let's let's flip the let's flip the pew over because
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: it's not it's not about that. And so I'm so
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: glad that you said that, desilt Ray, Like, I want
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: to give you opportunity because we she said so much.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: I can't let this be the last part, last time
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: you come here, because I feel like there's so much
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: more to your story.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: So I believe it's a part two. I believe a
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: part two.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: But I think that what what we've settled on is
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: being open and available. There we go, being open and
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: available for what God has for you, And that the
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: beginning of your story does not declare the end. Right,
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: it does not, does it, Ray, she baby, I wish
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: I could see her face.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: Again.
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: I love sitting here because I just love the digestion
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: of like you dropped so much. But I think the
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: thing that I'm picking up is that you never gave up,
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: like even though you didn't know, it was like, I
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: don't know, but I'm just gonna keep going anyway. And
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: just like a beautiful picture of God, like he knows
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: the plans that he has for us, so he's only
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: looking for us to just have some faith, like a
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: piece of a muscle, see faith, just to keep going.
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: And as we're going, then the development, the breaking off
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: of the old things can happen, but it only happens
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: when we're able to move forward, you know what I'm saying.
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: So it's just been beautiful.
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: This is my first time actually getting to hear your
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: story in person, and it's just been very inspiring.
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: And you're so young and so so on fire for.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: God like man, generations Man, when he say like I
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: preserved you for just a time, is this like the
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: generations need you? Man? So I'm excited for what God
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: is doing in your life. What I have a hard
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: time with till if I'm about to be transparent with you,
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: what I have a hard time where you No, it's good,
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: It's about me.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: It ain't gonna come for your meek.
• 47:27
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: For whatever.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: I have a hard time because I too, knew a
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: long time ago that I was supposed to be called
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: ministry and I've been I've ran for a long.
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: Time, right, And.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: People, people always kind of like have addressed me about
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: my relationship with my coach who and my spiritual mother, right,
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: It's no secret I don't. We talk about it all
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: the time and people are confused as to why I
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: cleave to her, and I would say it's the discipleship too,
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: Like I've done some really ugly things and some things,
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: you know, have come up to where she had to
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: make the decision to love me through it or leave me. Yeah,
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: And it's not necessarily a place where I'm like, oh
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: my gosh, I need her or whatever, blah blah blah,
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: even though I know I saw myself getting to that place.
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: But I appreciate her so much because I'm used to
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: the leaving right, I'm used to the neglect. But in
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: that she's the one that brought the preacher out of me.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: She's the one that pulled the prop prophetic words out
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: of me. It's always that person that makes the decision
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: that I'm not gonna leave you. Yeah, that makes the difference.
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: And so I always get on myself and like, man,
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: I'm thirty. I'm thirty two years old with ten years
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: of move and I'm like, man, at twenty two, I
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: knew something. I just didn't know what. Twenty five, I
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: started to break down my life. But then I met
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: this man ten years older than me. And baby, he
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: was a man. He was a man, a light skinned
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: man with green eyes and old.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: Baby. He was beautiful. He was strong. I mean that's.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: Because and that's because I had low self esteems. So
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: it was like I got something I ain't never thought
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: I was gonna get.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: So I'm like.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: Wrapped up, tied up, tangled up in situations that, you
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: know what the bay, in situations that if I would
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: have just stayed rooted in God, I wouldn't have probably
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: went through you know what I'm saying.
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: It's made me who I am and it gave me
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: the spirits I need.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: But I've always gone back to the point where it's like, man,
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: I wish you know, man twenty some years old.
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: Man, they don't fire for God. Man, I ain't nobody
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: I ain't do.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: I have to fight those thoughts because I know what
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: I then, what I knew what I know now. I
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: knew it then, just didn't know how to manage it.
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: And so I commend you. I commend you. I'm so
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: excited it to even just being a point or dot
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: on your story because you're all it's slippery as the migo.
• 50:10
  Speaker 4: It's not slippery.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: Slippery all is on the floor, and we are excited.
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: So listen, you gotta come back. Are you committed to
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: come in back?
• 50:20
  Speaker 4: Okay?
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: Okay, So this is the thing.
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: I gotta give you your your space to give your final thoughts.
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: If we if we talked about a lot today, if
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: they didn't hear anything that you sayd tiffing the cold white,
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: what would you leave with the audience today? M M.
• 50:38
  Speaker 4: That's a weighty question because you come on with the weight.
• 50:43
  Speaker 4: The way to say it is not easily, but citters
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: it doesn't. But I would basically say, you're not a statistic.
• 50:56
  Speaker 4: You're not you know what people may have labeled you as.
• 50:59
  Speaker 4: You're not what your mama or your daddy may have
• 51:01
  Speaker 4: said that you'll never be. You're not what society may
• 51:05
  Speaker 4: have said. You're not what you know, the federal jail charges,
• 51:10
  Speaker 4: whatever it is, what they may say, it's not what
• 51:12
  Speaker 4: the legal says. It's what God says. God says that
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: you're fearfully and wonderfully made, and like Desira said, like
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: he has plans for us, but not to harm us,
• 51:19
  Speaker 4: but to prosper us. And when you truly know these things,
• 51:22
  Speaker 4: and you know the characteristics of God more than you
• 51:25
  Speaker 4: know the characteristics of many, you put your trust into them.
• 51:28
  Speaker 4: You know you walk different, you walk with a little
• 51:30
  Speaker 4: pep in your step cause you know your boyfriend may
• 51:32
  Speaker 4: have said, oh that don't look good, bab Okay what
• 51:35
  Speaker 4: guy said, they look good. I'm covering it. Holy, I'm
• 51:37
  Speaker 4: walking in holiness. I don't gotta show everything, no mo,
• 51:41
  Speaker 4: but just knowing who you are and God and also
• 51:44
  Speaker 4: remembering that it's way bigger than you. You know, that's
• 51:47
  Speaker 4: another thing that kept me going day to day to
• 51:49
  Speaker 4: day even this week. This week was one of the
• 51:51
  Speaker 4: roughest weeks I've ever had in months, if not years,
• 51:54
  Speaker 4: with grief, with just a whole lot going on, being
• 51:58
  Speaker 4: dropped again, just a whole bunch of stuff. And I'm
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: grateful for my community. I'm grateful for my circle that
• 52:03
  Speaker 4: still has my back, and it's ten toes behind me regardless.
• 52:06
  Speaker 4: But it's remembering that it's bigger than me, you know,
• 52:08
  Speaker 4: not only for my kid that comes after me, but
• 52:11
  Speaker 4: the kids that come after her, my kids kids, and
• 52:14
  Speaker 4: also everybody that's connected to me. You know, I don't
• 52:17
  Speaker 4: like talking about social media or like my status on
• 52:19
  Speaker 4: social media. I don't. If you never mentioned that, I
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: promise I never would. I'm not big on titles. I'm
• 52:24
  Speaker 4: not big on you know, reverences or things of that nature.
• 52:26
  Speaker 4: But even with that, like I have to take accountability
• 52:30
  Speaker 4: for that, Like I have over four hundred thousand TikTok followers,
• 52:34
  Speaker 4: forty thousand on Instagram. I don't know about Facebook, that's
• 52:37
  Speaker 4: just my family and friends. But even in that, like,
• 52:41
  Speaker 4: I'm responsible for making sure that these people you know,
• 52:45
  Speaker 4: hear about this. Jesus.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, not this Jesus won't match me up in all places.
• 52:48
  Speaker 4: In an abortion clinic. Come on, where I was given death,
• 52:51
  Speaker 4: God gave me life. And that's truly what it is.
• 52:55
  Speaker 4: And that's just been my testimony. Like it don't make
• 52:57
  Speaker 4: no sense. I'm not qualified to do this. I don't
• 53:01
  Speaker 4: have a cheat sheet. I don't have, you know, other
• 53:04
  Speaker 4: than God's favor and just trusting him in every single
• 53:08
  Speaker 4: step and knowing that He has my back no matter
• 53:10
  Speaker 4: who leaves, no matter who for sakes, God will never
• 53:13
  Speaker 4: do so. He'll never leave you, nor for sake him.
• 53:15
  Speaker 4: And that's who it is. And he'll present you faultless
• 53:18
  Speaker 4: and prepare a table in the place of your enemies.
• 53:21
  Speaker 4: He will every single time. And I've seen it, and
• 53:24
  Speaker 4: that's because I have a track record that I know. Okay, well,
• 53:26
  Speaker 4: I'm going through this and it looks like my back
• 53:28
  Speaker 4: is up against the wall. But you ain't never, ever,
• 53:30
  Speaker 4: ever let me just stay here. Ever, you've always come in,
• 53:34
  Speaker 4: You've always saved the day. You've always covered me and
• 53:37
  Speaker 4: restored me to ten times better than I was before.
• 53:40
  Speaker 4: I may be down and broken now, but I know
• 53:42
  Speaker 4: recompense is knocking on my door. And I also I'm
• 53:44
  Speaker 4: never jealous when you know it happens for somebody else
• 53:47
  Speaker 4: before it happens to me, because like the old church
• 53:49
  Speaker 4: will say, like he in the neighborhood, I know he
• 53:51
  Speaker 4: gonna go to see.
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: Beat. Okay, I almost slipped the table.
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: Please, I almost flipped the table till when I call you,
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: I need you to Okay.
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: It's slippery. It's slippery, just as the podcast it's slipping.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: Don't start.
• 54:14
  Speaker 4: Tonight if you're not there, you miss that.
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: It's gonna they gonna see this afterwards, so they better
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: be following us tonight because the oil is about that
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: drip tonight.
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: Listen, y'all.
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: I love you, guys. I we got to wrap this up, y'all,
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: because we're part of a network now, hey, and the
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: next people are up to use the studio. I like
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: to be transparent. I like to be transparent. Some more
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: oil coming to the stage. But y'all all.
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: Jokes aside.
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: If you heard nothing else, the Woman of God said, like,
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: I hope you heard the final words, because they almost
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: shot me up into the sky like she b b.
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: You is where your story is now.
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: It won't be tomorrow, and so just keep persevering, keep
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: pressing towards the mark. Hallelujah, keep thriving, keep praying, keep pushing.
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: It will work itself out because you are doing it
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: under God's authority.
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: And so I love you guys. Thank you for coming
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: in this week until next week.
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: Until next time, remember life could be much more simple
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: if you just ask.
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: See y'all later. Thank you for tuning in to this
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: week's episode.
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: Since you've made it this far, you might as well
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: connect with us on all social media platforms at the
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: Jessica S.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: Smith.
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: I know I won't see you back until next week,
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: but until then, remember to love always yourself and always think.
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: Thank God for one other day. Hey, I know we
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: could be another way, he pray. Thank God for another day. Hey, Hey,
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: I'm just thankful another day. Hey Hey another day? Oh,
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: another day wise, another day to get it right, another
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: day to rise up, another day living another day we
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: loved ones. I always remember hold it down for a
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: ball one ye