Latest / Drawn of History / Scott Galloway _ This Past Weekend w_ Theo Von _547(M4A_128K)

Transcript

Scott Galloway _ This Past Weekend w_ Theo Von _547(M4A_128K) · Drawn of History

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I have some new tour dates to tell you about
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: for 2025. I'll be in Toledo, Ohio. I'll be in Rama,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Ontario in the Canada. I'll be in Pittsburgh. Eugene, Oregon. Kennewick, Seattle, Washington. Victoria,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: BC in the Canada. Belton, Texas. San Antonio. Durant. Oklahoma, Amarillo, Texas, Oxford, Mississippi,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: over there. Tuscaloosa, Alabama, Tallahassee, Florida, and Rosemont, Illinois. That'll
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: still be the return of the rat tour. When will
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: everybody know? It's the return of the rat tour. Yes,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: some of it changes over time, but it's not a
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: new tour. So hopefully we'll get it done soon. There's
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: places to go. You know, so get all your tickets
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: at TheoVon.com slash T-O-U-R. And thank you so much for
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: your support. I am excited to announce that I'm starting
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: a foundation. I'm starting a foundation. So thank everybody for
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: coming out and seeing the live shows and stuff. And yeah,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: we're going to have a foundation. And so it's going
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: to be exciting that next year we'll be able to
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: do things through that. So it's one step at a time.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: But I just wanted to say just thank you guys
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: for the support. And I'm excited to see what else
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: is possible.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Amen, baby.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Today's guest is a professor at NYU. He's the host
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: of the Prof G Markets podcast. He's a marketing and
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: business expert and a public speaker. I'm most interested personally
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: in his work that often explores the issues that young
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: men are facing in the changing world. I'm really grateful
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: for his time today. It's one of the reasons that
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: we're in New York City. Today's guest is Mr. Scott Galloway.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Scott Galloway, thanks for coming, man.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: I can't tell you how excited my staff is that
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: I'm here. I've never literally... When my chief of staff
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: found out I was coming on, she wanted to come
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: with me. I said, what is it about your content
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: you like? He said, no, I just think he's really hot.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: And is it a man or woman?
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yes. No, Mary Jean Rebos, friends for 20 years,
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: wonderful woman. And my Prop G Markets co-host, Ed, who
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I can't get to come into an office, decided he
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: was coming to this with me. So you're You're a
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: legend at Prop G.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Work from home. They always show up. Yeah. Thanks, man. Yeah.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I got to get over to Prop G then, man.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: The next time I come into the city, we'll have
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: to get over and have some experience over there. That'd
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: be cool. You know, and I appreciate that. And yeah,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I feel lucky to have an audience, you know, I
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: think it's sometimes it kind of blows my mind, you know,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: and I think I'm mostly just keep working.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: You know, that's like the only feel like, like the
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: thing I know how to do best. Like my biggest
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: relationship is probably with my work. You know, I was
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: thinking the other day, somebody's like, are you going to
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: get a wife? And I'm like, well, I have, you know,
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: 40 hours a week. I have this woman, you know,
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: I have this work is like, feels like my wife,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: you know, a lot of times.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Um, but I just said pop press positive. I think that's,
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: I think young people have to have a sober conversation
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: with themselves around trade-offs. And that is, I asked my
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: kids and I say, my kids, my students, where they
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: expect to be economically and in terms of influence. And
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: 70% of them expect to be in the top 1%
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: within 10 years. And what I have found is that
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: if you want to be in the top 1% from
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  Speaker 2: an influence, from a real spiritual reward from your work,
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: from a financial standpoint, you pretty much have to go
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: all in for 10, probably 20 years. The capitalist society
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: is very good at figuring out who's really in it
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  Speaker 2: for the full 110%. I don't know anyone who's reached
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: the level of success you've reached without pretty much going
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: all in on work. And it comes at a trade-off.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: It comes at a trade-off of relationships. It comes at
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: a trade-off in terms of your own fitness, your own
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: mental wellbeing. But from the age of like 25 to 45,
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  Speaker 2: I really don't remember much else than working. Really?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: And I'm not saying that's the right way.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Right. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: No, not at all. It was my way.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: And I don't regret it. Huh?
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's funny. Cause I think I do. I think
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I lament sometimes. Like, it's so funny. You say that like,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: this afternoon, I know I have like about two hours,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: you know, and I'm like, do I go to an
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: AA meeting or do I stretch? Right. Those are like
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: my two, like, which one is going to help me
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: more for tomorrow? Like, you know, like, but really like,
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  Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, do I do some type of a
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: fitness thing or do I do like a wellness thing?
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: You know, like a, like a recovery thing. But, um, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: it's funny. I just, I thought about that a lot recently. Like,
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  Speaker 1: cause work was like a, something that I think was like,
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  Speaker 1: I knew what the return could be. Right. So it
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: was a manageable relationship. Whereas I think other relationships for me,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm not, uh, getting into self-pity, those have been
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  Speaker 1: tougher to manage, or I didn't have as much luck and, um, not,
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  Speaker 1: not luck in meeting women, but luck in actual managing relationships.
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  Speaker 1: And so then, uh, I was like, well, but this
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  Speaker 1: relationship I can manage, you know, and I know what
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: the return can be based on my investment. And there's
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: not a ton of emotional pain involved in it for
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: me or other people, you know, unless you work for me.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I can get a little heady, you know?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, and this is going to sound crass, but the opportunities,
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: your selection set for mating will broaden as you become
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: more successful professionally. That's the cruel truth of capitalism. The
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: trade-off will become the relationships with your parents, your relationship
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: with God. I know you're a spiritual person, the relationship
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: you have with yourself. But the world is unfair as
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: it relates to men, and that is as long as
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: our trajectory of success professionally and economically is upward, we
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: are afforded a disproportionate number of mating opportunities.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: So wait, so say that part again, the end part again?
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: If you have money, you can get laid. Okay.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay, yeah, if you have money, you can get laid.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: But then, but there's trade-offs too.
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  Speaker 2: Huge trade-offs.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: One of the things I wish I'd done, I wish
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: I'd started with kids a little bit earlier. I only,
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: I have two boys. One of my biggest regrets is
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: I wish I had a third. I wish I had
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: a daughter. I think a lot about like how much
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: I'm enjoying it. And I was working so hard that
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: I didn't have a lot of time with them. And,
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: you know, they're gone. You know, that eight-year-old that, you know,
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: used to come in and sleep in my bed with
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: me on Sunday mornings, he's gone. And I see the
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: kind of the gentleness my friends have with some of
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: their girls. I really messed up, and I'm blessed to
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: have two boys. I'm a glass half empty kind of guy.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: I look at stuff. I know rationally I'm blessed to
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: have two boys, but I look at it like I
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: wish I'd had more kids. How old are you?
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm 44. I need to get some children. I'd
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: like to get some.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know much about you, but I
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  Speaker 2: would argue that I'm not one of these people that
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  Speaker 2: says you can't be happy without kids, but I didn't
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  Speaker 2: want to have kids. I wanted to be rich and awesome.
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  Speaker 2: Those are my priorities in that order. And what I
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  Speaker 2: found is all of that is a means to an end.
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  Speaker 2: In a capitalist society, you have to be able to
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  Speaker 2: be economically viable. Otherwise, your kid's going to feel that stress.
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  Speaker 2: It's going to put stress on your partnership. But for
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  Speaker 2: the first time in my life, you know, there's these moments, Theo,
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  Speaker 2: where you're watching Premier League football and your kids roll
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  Speaker 2: in and they jump on the couch and the dogs
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  Speaker 2: come over and your kids just sort of naturally throw
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  Speaker 2: their legs on yours. And it's the only time I've
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: ever had this feel, and maybe you've had it other places,
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  Speaker 2: where I'm like, this is enough. You know, when I
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: was your age, coming to New York, staying at a
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: hotel like this, I wanted every afternoon I'd start thinking,
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: where am I going tonight that's cool? I was at
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  Speaker 2: Equinox yesterday. Is there a cooler gym? I'm at Zero Bond.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: Is there a more exclusive club? I'm hanging out with
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  Speaker 2: this interesting, hot group of people. Tomorrow, can I hang
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: out with more interesting, more hot people? This is how
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: much money I made this month. Can I make more?
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: It was just like more. Fuck it, I want more.
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  Speaker 1: Wow. Where did it come from? Sorry, go on. And
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  Speaker 1: the only thing?
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  Speaker 2: The only time I've ever been like, okay, this might
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  Speaker 2: be enough is usually in the presence of my kids.
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  Speaker 1: That's interesting, man. You know, I have moments of, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I think there was, like, I do remember, like, leaning
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  Speaker 1: against my dad when he was on the couch or
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: something in, like, a shirt that he would wear. Or that's, like,
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  Speaker 1: probably the fondest memory I have of him, you know, of, like,
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  Speaker 1: just leaning and, you know, like, and it didn't really matter, like,
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  Speaker 1: what was going on. It was just, like, being right there. um,
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  Speaker 1: or of like your dad touching you on the back
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  Speaker 1: of the neck, that kind of stuff I think is,
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  Speaker 1: is very important for kids. Like it's such a, uh,
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  Speaker 1: like a safe position that a dad can put their
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: son in kind of like not choking, but just one hand. And, um,
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: what made you create that first idea that more is
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: the thing, you know? Cause obviously you've seen that, you know, guys,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: we want to feel like the hunters that gathers, you
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: want to feel like the, the create the, the person
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  Speaker 1: who can put it together, the provider, right?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: But what made it, you think, so crucial, like in
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: that next thing, like that hire? Was it almost like
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: an addiction kind of achievement?
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: A little bit. I know the exact moment I got
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: my act together and I got really motivated. Growing up,
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  Speaker 2: I described my childhood as remarkably unremarkable. It wasn't especially
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: good or especially bad. I was raised by a single
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: immigrant mother who lived and died a secretary. But it
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: wasn't a bad life. But the moment that changed everything
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: for me was my mom got very sick when I
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: was in graduate school. And she called me and said,
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: you need to come home. And my mom's not a
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: dramatic person. And so I flew home and went into
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: a situation that was, she'd been released early. She, we
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: were kind of underinsured. She just had her second mastectomy.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: She'd been through chemo and the hospital basically booted her
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: out kind of prematurely. And I walked into a situation
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: I just did not know how to handle.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: And I started calling nurses and nurses were 35 bucks
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: an hour. And we just didn't have that kind of money. Yeah.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: And that feeling you'll feel this and you, maybe you
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: feel it now with your, your staff and, um, your parents.
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  Speaker 2: But as a man, I think you have a very
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: healthy instinct around protection. And this woman who'd been so
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: good to me, I couldn't take care of her. And
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: to be honest, uh, Theo was humiliating. And that was
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: when I said, okay, um, I got to get my
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: act together. I got to be able to take care
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: of my mom. So that was really sort of my driving.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: I thought, okay, I didn't want to save the whales.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to be a good person. I didn't
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: want a close relation with God. I wanted economic security
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  Speaker 2: for me and my mom.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: And that was, and also the other flip side of
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: it isn't nearly as noble. I also noticed that my
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: male friends whose parents had homes in Aspen and were
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: driving BMWs were hanging out with higher character, better looking
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: women than I was.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: And that women were drawn to men with resources, not
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: only because they could offer them a better life, but
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: because it reflected discipline and character and that they might
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: be better dads.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: But the bottom line is the thing that motivated me
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: was women, wanting to take care of my mom and
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: wanting to be more attractive to a potential mate. That's
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: when I got my act together. Yeah.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: And I guess that's really probably the truth for a
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: lot of, and some of that's nature, right?
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, 100%.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because women want to be felt safe, you know. Oh, dude,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: I remember this dude, Mr. Willie, put a fence up
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: on his fucking house in our neighborhood. And people were like,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: look at this fucking hero over here, you know, because
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: nobody else had it.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: That's what takes a fence?
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Well, it was one of those double door fences. And
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: we're like, this guy, they think they live in a
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: damn estate, you know.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: Nice.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I think there is something about that, about
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: being able to provide. So it makes you feel, especially
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: if you don't know anything else, I think it's the
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: first and most, I don't want to say the easiest
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: thing to do, but it's something you can immediately start
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: to do.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: Well, I think everybody needs a code, right? It sounds
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: like you get a few codes from different places, whether
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: it's your spirituality or church. I think AA has a
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: nice code.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's probably my biggest one.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: And it's a powerful one, right? And it's a construct
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: that works for millions of people. And the thing I
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: like about AA is it's both, An opportunity to improve yourself,
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: but immediately move to how you help others. Being in
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: the service is something bigger than your self-help. It feels
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: to me like a really strong code.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to figure out how, if masculinity can be
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: a code for young men. I feel like a lot
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: of young men now, they're not attaching to church, they're
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: not attaching to school, more single-parent households than any country
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: but Sweden. They're not joining the service.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: They're not in a relationship. Only one in three men
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: under the age of 30 is in a relationship, whereas
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: two in three women under the age of 30 is
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: in a relationship.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: Because women are dating older because they want more economically
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: and emotionally viable men. So if a guy is not
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: going to church, he's not playing sports, not in college,
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: not in a relationship, and he doesn't have a male
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: role model, where does he get his code? And I
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: actually think that while masculinity has been conflated incorrectly, in
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: my view, with toxicity or something bad, How can we
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: better define a modern form of masculinity such that it
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: can serve as a code for young men, a guiding
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: light the same way kind of AA has for you?
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: And I think very loosely, and I'm writing a book
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: on this and I still haven't figured it out. And
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: I'm curious if you have any thoughts. I think the
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: kind of the three legs of the stool are provider.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: We live in a capitalist society. I'm not talking about
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: the way the world should be the way it is.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: Men are disproportionately evaluated based on their economic viability.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: If your son or your daughter lives in a household
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: that's economically strained, he or she is going to have
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: a higher resting dystolic blood pressure. Stress from economic stress
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: invades everything in a capitalist society. You're expected to be
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: a provider. And by the way, sometimes that means getting
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: out of the way or being some more supportive of
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: your partner who happens to be better at this money
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: thing than you. More women are graduating from college. Two
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: out of three jobs now need college degrees. But you
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: should start from a position of, I need to be
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: economically viable. I need to learn a trade, a skill,
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: get certified, show up, work hard, and try and have
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: some discipline around saving, develop a savings muscle. Don't be
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: that idiot that orders bottle service. Try to show you
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: have your act together economically. Two, protector. I think a
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: really nice default setting for a man should be an
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: immediate movement to protection. Like real men, breakup fights at bars,
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: they don't start them. Real men protect their country. They
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: don't shitpost it. Real men don't complain. They're there to absorb.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: They add surplus value. They create more revenue for the
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: government than they consume. They help people more than maybe
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: they require help. And sometimes that can go off the
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: rails because some men feel like it's not masculine to
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: express vulnerability. So there's a downside to that. Maybe you
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: don't understand the LGBT community. Maybe you don't believe in
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: all this. what's going on with the focus on trans rights,
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: but your first instinct should be, if you see a
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: community that's being demonized, whether it's migrants, the LGBT community,
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: your first instinct as a man, I think, should be
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: to protection. You hear someone talking shit about someone behind
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: their back, your first instinct should be to protection. So
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: I like that notion of protection. And the final one
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: that's more controversial is procreator. I think the desire Where
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: I am now, most rewarding thing in my life we're
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: talking about is my boys. If we reverse engineer it,
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: it's them, it's my partner having birth. It's us living together.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: It's us getting a dog. It's us spending a lot
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: of time together. It's us having a relationship. But if
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: I reverse engineer it to the source code of the
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: most rewarding thing in my life, it's me seeing this
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: very attractive woman at the hotel pool at the Raleigh Hotel.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: And I didn't think, oh, she's going to be great
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: at buying land and developing it. And she's going to
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: be economically viable and she's going to be a great mom.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: It started with me really being physically attracted to her.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: And I think men need to look at themselves and say,
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: how do I put myself in a position where I
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: can be not only attractive to women, but get the
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: skills where I can express physical desire while making them
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: feel safe? And it's a very basic question. Would you
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: want to have sex with you? Would you want to
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: be romantic with you? Are you in good shape? Are
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: you a good person? Are you kind? Do you have
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: your act together professionally? Do you listen? Do you give
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: notice to their life? But protector, provider, and procreator, I
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: would like to figure out a way to develop a
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: more aspirational model for masculinity that serves as a role
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: model or a code for young men.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: The book that you're working on now is something that
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: you're saying that that kind of addresses some of that space,
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: you know, like figure, like kind of almost giving a,
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: like kind of charting a course, but, you know, adding
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: some coordinates to a course for young men.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm hoping. Young men, There's no group
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: in the world that's ascended faster than women. More women
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: are seeking tertiary education globally than men now. Twice as
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: many women have been elected to some form of parliament
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: in the last 30 years. More single women own homes
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: in the U.S. than single men. In urban centers, women
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: are making more money under the age of 30 than men.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: And by the way, we should do nothing to get
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: in the way with that.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, dude.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: That's amazing.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: I'm a League of Their Own fan, you know?
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: That's amazing. But the second-order effect we were planning on
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: and we don't like to talk about this is that
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: 50% of women say they won't date a guy shorter
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: than them. I bet it's 80%. They're just embarrassed to
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: admit it. And metaphorically every year, women are getting taller
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: and men are getting shorter.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: So is that true? Well, metaphorically, if you look at
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: how many, Oh, a hundred percent women are killing it
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: right now. Yeah. 50% more women will get college degrees
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: this year. Right.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: So more than men.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: It's 60-40. It needs to be 40-60. Got it.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: So that's about the same. Yeah, it's about 50% more
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: in a couple years.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: One in three men walking down the street under the
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: age of 30 hasn't had sex in the last year.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: So in mating, if we're going to have an honest
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: conversation about mating, we have to have an honest conversation.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: Women mate socioeconomically horizontally and up, men horizontally and down.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Three out of four women say economic viability is key
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: to a mate. Only one in three men state that.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: So when the pool of horizontal and up of men
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: is shrinking, there's less household formation, there's less relationships. And
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: the weird thing about a lack of a relationship is
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: that when a woman doesn't have a romantic relationship, she
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: finds more productive uses for that additional energy. She'll channel
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: it into work, she'll channel it into her friends, into
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: her family. Guys come off the rails when they don't
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: have the guideposts of a romantic relationship. I know I did.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: I was getting high every night. I love marijuana. And
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: I remember my girlfriend saying to me, basically, What it
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: came right down to is she said, if you don't
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: stop getting high every night, I'm going to stop having
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: sex with you. And so I decided to stop getting
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: high every night because I really enjoyed what we were
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: doing and I enjoyed the relationship.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: I think guys need that guidepost of a relationship. And
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: oftentimes when men don't have the guideposts of a relationship,
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: they become insecure. They start becoming more prone to conspiracy theory.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: They start blaming women. They start blaming other people. I mean,
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: some of the skills to maintain a healthy relationship are
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: some of the same skills required to be professionally successful.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: And so single men are basically the most dangerous thing
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: in the world.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: World.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: A young, single, broke man. And I don't want to
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: pathologize every guy that doesn't have a girlfriend.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: If you look at the most violent, unstable societies in
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: the world, they have a preponderance of one thing, and
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: that is young men without a lot of economic or
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: romantic opportunities.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: And you're saying we're creating more of those now? Oh, 100%. Wow.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: So that's... twice as many women under the age of
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: 30 are in a relationship versus men under the age
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: of 30, 3 million millennial men have given up on dating.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: They're not even trying. Yeah.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: I'm in groups with a lot of them. Here's one
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: thing I would, so how does it start? So let's
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: say like, how does it kind of start to, if
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: a lot of people are growing up, cause it feels
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: like a lot of times that a lot of our
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: media or our society has wanted to break up the
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: nuclear family. Right. And I don't know if that's sometimes like,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: I buy into that. You know, I grew up outside
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: of a regular family like you did. And so, you know,
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: you definitely see the side effects of that. You know,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: like I have siblings that went kind of errant ways
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: and found, you know, hope and purpose and friendship in
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: people that were making poor choices. You know, I got
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: kind of lucky. and found some friends that were doing
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: the opposite kind of. But not having that role model,
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I think, in the home probably is probably a big start.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: So if that's something big that's going on, how do we, like,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: where do we even start with that, you know? Like,
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: how do you start to fix the family first, I guess?
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, what do you fix first, you know? Like
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: role models?
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: You've exactly zeroed in on the ground zero of it.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: If you look at, so first off, let's look at
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: the problem. If you go into a morgue and you
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: have five young people who've died by suicide, four of
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: them are men.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: Wow. But women aren't, I mean, women aren't, women don't
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: want to, they would rather have somebody kill them, I think. Or,
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying? That's crazy to say, but
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: it's like.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: I agree with you. That was crazy to say.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: But they love Dateline. You know what I'm saying? Like women,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: there's something.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: Well, they like crime dramas. There's a difference between like
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: crime drama and.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but they want a guy to unexpectedly come over
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: type of shit.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Well, there's some weird shit. So, for example, women are
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: just as prone to try to commit suicide. Unfortunately, men
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: are more comfortable with gunplay and are more successful at it.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: But if you look at where a boy comes off
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: the tracks, it's when he loses a male role model. Right.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: More single-parent homes than any country except for Sweden. And
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: the interesting thing is that a girl in a single-parent home,
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: when we say single-parent, we mean heterosexual. 92% of the
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: time headed by mom.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Right, because usually children stay with the mom.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: The family court is very biased towards women for a
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: lot of good reasons, some less good reasons. So a
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: girl in a single-parent home just living with mom has
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: the same college attendance, the same levels of self-harm and depression,
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: the same likelihood of depression. She's fine. Once a boy
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: loses a male role model, he becomes dramatically more likely
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: to be incarcerated, less likely to go to college, more
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: likely to engage in self-harm. What most of the studies
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: show is that while boys are physically stronger, they're mentally
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: and emotionally much weaker than girls. They mature later. They
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: mature later. They're more prone to violence. They're more prone
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: to self-harm. They're literally 18 months behind their prefrontal cortex.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: They're biologically less mature. And without the male role model,
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: the deep voice, the admiration, the virtuous role model of
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: a man, they come off the tracks. And when you
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: look at A lot of our communities with how many
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: single-parent homes they have, when you look at a lot
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: of kids aren't in after-school programs, kids are obese, not
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: playing sports as much, so they don't have as much
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: interaction with a coach. Maybe they don't know a pastor
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: because they're not going to church or temple. There are
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: millions of young boys who grow up, and the first
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: male role model they have is a prison guard. And
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: so the solution, if you were to try and weigh
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: in with programs, it's, all right, I think of another program.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I think I go back to masculinity. The first circle
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: of masculinity is you take care of yourself. You're in
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: good shape. You have good self-care. You are economically viable, right?
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: You take care of yourself. Next ring out, you can
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: start taking care of your family.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Help out your parents. Help out your siblings. You can
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: start taking care of people at work. You overpay them.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: You're concerned about them. You're empathetic with them.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Because the two of them are in here.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: You start taking care of your community. Okay. And then.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, things that make you feel good, things that make
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: you feel purpose.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Surplus value. And then I think also we need to
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: create a kind of a gestalt or a default or
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: a zeitgeist in our society where one of the ultimate
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: expressions of masculinity is you take an interest in the
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: well-being of a boy that's not yours. And unfortunately, because
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: of some very unfortunate instances in the Catholic Church or
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: well-publicized stories about... Chuck E.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Cheese's.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: Or Michael Jackson... Oh, yeah. I was on Bill Maher
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: and I said, more men like you, Bill, need to
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: get involved in a young man's life. He's a single guy.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: He's a good role model. He's like, I can't get
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: involved in a 15-year-old boy's life. You know what they'd
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: say about me? And that's the problem. Because there's a
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: lot of men out there with a lot of love
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: to give who feel a lot of fraternal and paternal love.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: And if you just did a quick survey of the
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: people in your work and your neighbors, you're going to
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: find single mothers or a lot of your friends whose
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: sons are struggling. And you don't have to be a baller.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: You just need to be a virtuous guy trying to
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: live your life. Yeah. And my mom was really good
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: at that. I had a guy down the hallway come
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: over with his girlfriend and say, we're going horseback riding.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: And he took me, and he would start taking me.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: My mom, a couple of my mom's boyfriends stay involved
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: in my life after they were broken up. I had
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: a stockbroker. Theo, when I was 13, I walked into
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: Dean Whitter Reynolds with $ 200 my mom's boyfriend had given me. Mm-hmm.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: And I bought 12 shares of Columbia Pictures for 16
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: bucks a share. And every day for two years, I'd
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: go to Emerson Junior High pay booth, put in two
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: dimes and call him. And I wasn't a very popular kid.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Two or three times a week after school, I'd go
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: to the stock brokerage.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: If you're buying stocks at lunch, yeah, you're not popular.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Hey, you're forward thinking.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Sure. It's paid off now.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: I get that part.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: Got me cool. Made me cool later in life.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, at a certain point. Yeah, for sure.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: This guy, Cy Saro, this 30-year-old guy working at Dean Winter,
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: and I'm 46 years later, I got a text from
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Cy yesterday. We're still close. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. We
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: were out of each other's lives for 30 years, and
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: then we reconnected. I actually asked my class to try
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: and track him down, and they did. But if you're,
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: you know, I love the statement. I think the true
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: expression of manhood or being a good person is planting
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: trees the shade of which you'll never sit under. But
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: I think more specifically for men, I'll ask you straight up.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: Are you mentoring any young men or boys?
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: Let me think about that. Uh, maybe my nephew, one
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: of my nephews, but I mean, he has his father,
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: you know, but I think I keep a constant relationship
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: with him because I want to be a part of
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: his life, but in a more local environment in my community.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: No. Do you realize in New York, there's big sisters
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: and big brothers. There are three times as many applicants
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: for big sisters and there are for big brothers.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: And why is that? Because young men just aren't, you know,
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: mothers don't get there or the kids, the male, the
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: boys don't apply.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: I think men have been told that if you take
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: an interest in the life of a boy, that there's
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: something wrong and people need to be suspect of it.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, people would definitely question it. Oh, it's crazy. I
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: remember this started maybe about 10 years ago. If I
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: saw somebody's kid or something and I wanted to give
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: them a compliment, you feel like you couldn't.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: You've got to be careful.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then suddenly everything, there's a legal issue or
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: you can't.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: Or people are suspicious.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a famous case of this kid, Greg Kelly.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Can you bring that up? who was, his mother was
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: watching children. She ran a home in their, after school
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: care in their home. And one of the kids accused
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: him of something. And they don't, it seemed very flippant,
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: but he ended up going to jail for three years.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: And it seemed like a witch hunt, you know?
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there was that childcare place in California where it
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: ended up, it was all made up. But Theo, what
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: you were talking about with your nephew, you can still
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: play a huge role because I can attest to this.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: There's research showing your nephew right now, especially once he
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: hits 15 or 16, he's more, he's more inclined to
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: listen to you than his dad.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: So I noticed this.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Did you notice things? Yeah. Who were some people that, yeah,
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: when you, cause sometimes I do, I think about a
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: voice that could be just like, dude, sometimes it was like, um,
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I remember, uh, one of my mom's boyfriends bought me
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: and my brother tickets to go see a saints game. Right.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: And we were so excited. It was like a big
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: adventure for us, you know? Um, so I, it is
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: funny how little things that somebody shares with you, um,
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: Or moments that they have. I remember there was a
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: teacher that would sit outside with me and talk to
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: me sometimes after class. That was huge to me. Yeah,
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: it's amazing the effect that you can have, I guess,
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: that you don't realize. Who were some of those people
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: for you?
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: I was really lucky. I played sports, so I had coaches.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: A couple of my mom's boyfriends, like I said, after
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: they broke up, stayed involved in my life. I had Cy,
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: the stockbroker. Um, and also I'm a big fan of
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: the Greek system at colleges. I joined a fraternity. Yeah.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: And while people talk about, everyone's got to find their tribe.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: You got to find your brothers or your sisters. You
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: got to shrink the world down to a small group
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: of people. And for me, I don't think I would
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: have graduated from UCLA had I not joined a fraternity.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: I immediately got something called a big brother. I had roommates.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: We all kept tabs on each other. We all gave
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: each other a tremendous amount of shit, but it was
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: sort of like a guiding guidepost. Yeah.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: It's fun. Yeah. Oh, dude, there's so much fun. Like,
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: there's nothing better than like, when you think about the
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: times you were on a team of some sort, right? 100%.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Just like the feeling, you know?
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: Did you play sports growing up?
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: Until I was like 11 years old, I didn't do
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: much sports. I played a little bit of baseball, but
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: it was like the field was like uneven in our town,
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: you know? And so the fucking, every ball went to
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: the same guy.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: The field was uneven?
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah. We had a bad field over there. And so
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: all this dude, and I was- You couldn't get.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: The guy with the radical, the amazing fence to give
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: you the new field?
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, not a bad idea, right? But it doesn't have
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: to be sports. It can be band. It can be
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: chess club. It can be church. But everyone's got to
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: find your tribe.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: Right, so now we're looking at some solutions to some
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: of the things you're talking about for young people and
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: even for mothers that have single. Because a lot of
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: times with moms, it's hard to find that space. Like,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: how do I put my kid in a place that's
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: going to be safe? Or what's the type of thing
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: to get them involved in? And yeah, I think that
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: was one thing that was tough for my mom. She
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: just didn't have as much time. I was fortunate I
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: had a basketball coach that would give me rides home
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: from practice. And so that changed a lot of things
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: because then as long as I could get to practice
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: and I could get home. So that was like an
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: amazing role model that I had this guy coach Steve,
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: that was really awesome. Yeah, I think, and yeah, you're right. Like,
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: how can I do that in my own community? Like,
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: what are ways that I could start to do that?
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: But yeah, so creating a group for your kid, finding
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: a group for your kid to be in.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: Well, there's a lot of, and there's a lot of
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: more systemic things we could do. So for example, I'm
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: a big fan of vocational programming. In America, we have
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: this kind of zeitgeist that if your kid doesn't, go
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: to Dartmouth and end up at Google, then not only
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: has the kid failed, but you failed as parents. And
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: two-thirds of our kids are not going to end up
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: with a college degree. 3% of LinkedIn profiles in the U.S.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: say apprentice. It's 11% in the U.K. and Germany. We
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: need more of an apprentice culture, and we need to
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: stop shaming kind of trades jobs. Yeah. I think we
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: should start boys. We should redshirt them. We should start
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: them a year later in kindergarten because they're literally biologically
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: less mature than their female counterparts. You don't notice this
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: as much because you don't have kids, but I have
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: a 14-year-old. My 14-year-old just had a Halloween party, 15 boys,
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: 15 girls. The boys are 14. A couple of the
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: girls look like they could be the junior senator from Pennsylvania.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: They look 35. And they act that way. They act
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: that mature. They literally mature faster. I think if a
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: college isn't growing its freshman seats faster than population... It
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: should lose its tax-free status because it's no longer a
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: public service. It's a hedge fund with classes. I'm a
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: big fan of the idea of mandatory national service. I've
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: spent some time in Israel recently. Despite the existential threats
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: and the problems in Israel, there's less young adult depression
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: in Israel than almost any Western country. And I think
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: it's because of national service. They're serving the agency of
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: something bigger than themselves. They're outside. They're in great shape.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: They're learning how to handle weapons, equipment. It's where they
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: meet co-founders of businesses. It's where they make lifelong friends.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: It's where they meet potential mates. So I think mandatory
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: national service would be huge for us.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: Many of you know that I used to have a
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• 35:31
  Speaker 1: feels a lot of times like there's an attack on
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: being a man.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: 100%.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: You know, you're like, you feel like these days, if
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: you're a kid that's not bi, then you're not even
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: going to be welcome at school.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: And I don't know if that's true.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: I don't talk to kids. I don't know that. But
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: it's like you get this feeling sometimes like, I don't know.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm talking about.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: Well, to your point, did you have the Presidential Fitness
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: Awards when you were in? Yeah. I got badge one.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: You got a number on it. I got badge one,
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: badge two. And I had a growth spurt, and I
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: couldn't do the pull-ups. And I trained for a year, pull-ups,
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: and I got strong again. And now the awards were
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: done away with because it was soft fat shaming. And
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: if you walk down the halls of NYU, you're going
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: to see all these support groups for women. Black women
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: in consulting, golden seeds, women in venture capital. There are
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: no support groups for men. And I don't think men
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: have a place in our political world. I think the
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: far right is kind of telling men to be, quite frankly,
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: a little bit coarse and cruel. It's toughness and strength
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: gone a little bit overboard. But on the far left,
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: their definition of masculinity and their advice to men is
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: to be more like a woman. That doesn't work either. Yeah.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: So we need to re-embrace the notion. I mean, I
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: say jokingly, when Russian troops come pouring over the Ukrainian border,
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: you want some of that big dick energy. Oh, yeah.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with being physically strong. I think any
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: man under the age of 30, our bone structure and
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: that double twitch muscle with this amazing substance called testosterone
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: poured over it is a fucking amazing thing. You're going
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: to look back on your physique right now and your
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: strength And you're going to wish, and you kind of
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: look this way, that you were a monster. Any man
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: under the age of 30 should be able to walk
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: into any room and know that if shit got real,
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: they could either kill and eat everybody or outrun them.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: And that is a wonderful feeling. It'll make you less
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: prone to mental illness. It'll make you more attractive to mates,
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: less likely to be depressed. And you'll be that guy
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: that breaks up fights at bars, not that's insecure, right?
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: This is strength, re-embracing strength, re-embracing confidence. protection, re-embracing, initiating relationships.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: I force my kids, I don't do this anymore because
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: they've had enough of it, but when we left the house,
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: I used to say, I'm not going to let them
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: back in unless they talk to a stranger. And it
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: was easy for one of them. It was hard for
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: the other. I'm like, just go up to them and
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: pet their dog and say what kind of dog it is.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: Because your ability to initiate contact is key to finding
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: a job. It's not easy to email strangers or go
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: into a strange interview. Your ability to express interest, romantic interest,
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: while making someone feel safe, right? Demonstrating excellence. Where does
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: a guy demonstrate excellence right now? Doesn't go into work,
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: doesn't go to church, right? Isn't playing sports, right? Isn't
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: going to college. So where do men demonstrate excellence and
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: attach to relationships? But there is, we talk a lot
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: about misogyny. It's a huge problem. It has been for
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: a long time. What we don't talk about is misandry.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: And that is- What is misandry? A hate of men.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: There's generally... Yeah. If you were to talk... Have you
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: ever heard the term toxic femininity? People don't use that term.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: But toxic masculinity, it's almost like it's become one word. Oh,
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: I feel.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: There are places I feel embarrassed even being because I
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: feel like people look at me and think like, oh,
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: this guy thinks he's some kind of man or something,
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: you know? That would be true. But that happens to
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: me in New York City sometimes.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: You feel that way here?
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: Yep. There's certain places I'll walk in and just by
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: the ambiance of like, the people that work there is
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: something I'll think that, and I'm not saying that that's real,
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: but it could just be perceived in my head, but
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: I'll feel like I almost have to play down being
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: a man or if I'm going to be like accepted
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: in this space, you know, um, or feel welcome here.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: Um, yeah, there's definitely, but there's definitely, uh, uh, and
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: if you look at, if you look at the stats though, men,
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: are really struggling. Like we don't have a male homeless problem.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. We don't have a homeless problem. We have
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: a male homeless problem.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: We have an opiate problem, but we really have a
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: male opiate problem. Three out of four homeless, three out
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: of four addicts are men. And if you had four
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: out of five people kill themselves, they were in any
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: one special interest group. we would do something about it.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: And there's a lack of empathy. Because of the 2,000-year
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: head start we've had on women, there's a lack of
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: empathy for men.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: Who had it mended?
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. How? Oh, come on. Even when I grew up, Theo,
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: when I came of professional age in the 90s, 98%
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: at least of venture capital went to the 24% of
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: the population that were white heterosexual males. Oh, okay.
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: So men had that. I see what you're talking about.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: Until the last 30 years, men have had literally a 2,000-year
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: head start But because of my advantage, does that mean
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: a 19-year-old male should be punished for it?
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: There just isn't a recognition that a 19-year-old male with
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: a single mother in Appalachia, he's got no advantage. As
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: a matter of fact, he's kind of disadvantaged right now.
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: Oh, well, there's an attack. There's certainly an attack on
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: white males, it feels like. And then if you're white,
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: you can't be like, hey, can we do a white
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: help group? You know what I'm saying? Because suddenly you're
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: racist if you, you know, there's definitely this like shaming
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: of like, being in white skin, you know? And it's like,
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: we're constantly doing that, like reliving the past or refocusing
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: on the past and using it as a scope to
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: aim at the present, you know? And it's not very fair.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: And I definitely see it as a lot of people
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: feel embarrassed to be white, you know? And that's a shame,
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: you know, because you didn't choose to be white. And
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: a lot of people, white people, we didn't have shit, dude.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? Like, at least when I
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: was growing up, I felt like if you were black,
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: people like, Like you at least had the like, well,
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: I'm fucked because of society, you know. But if you
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: were white, you're just like, people were like, you didn't
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: even have an excuse, you know, if you weren't doing good.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: You're like, well, how do you not do good? You know,
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: you're like, I don't know.
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: It's a nuanced conversation, though, Theo, because.
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: Yes, I know it's nuanced. You know, I'm kind of
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: generalized and I'm not trying to correlate anything. I'm just saying, yeah,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: you can't make a, hey, white people need help also group.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: But we're talking about the bias against males. Our education system,
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: the business I'm in, is highly biased against men or boys.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: 70% to 80% of primary school teachers are women. Who
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: are they going to naturally champion? Someone who reminds them
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: of themselves. What are the behaviors we promote in school?
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: Be organized, be a pleaser, sit still. You're basically describing
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: a girl. There are more per capita female fighter pilots
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: than there are male kindergarten teachers.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: We don't need male kindergarten teachers, I don't think.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, sure we do. You think so? Young men need
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: male role models. Right.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: I agree with that. I think we need a PE
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: teacher with some short shorts, you know what I'm saying?
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: He's kind of, you know, who doesn't want to go
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: home to his wife. But I don't know if we need,
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: if I'd have walked into a kindergarten, you know, I mean,
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: but I still keep in touch with a lot of
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: my teachers. I had a lot of affinity for them,
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: whether they were male or women. I did have male
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: middle school teachers. I don't know, would I be alarmed
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: if there was a male kindergarten teacher?
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: But an example of that, the bias? Yes. A boy
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: is on a risk on a behavior adjusted basis to
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: be is twice as likely to be suspended. You have
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: a girl and a boy two different times. Same infraction
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: cheating on the chemistry test. The boy is twice as
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: likely to be suspended as the girl. The black boy
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: is five times as likely to be suspended. So a
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: lot of the issues we're talking about, self-harm, depression, lack
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: of lack of success in school is really difficult among
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: young boys. And it's even more acute. among non-white. Now,
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: when you get to college, the whole DEI thing, right?
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: 60 years ago, there were only 12 black people at Princeton, Harvard,
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: and Yale combined. That was a problem. So giving them
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: the advantage or a lift up with race-based affirmative action
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: was the right thing to do 60 years ago. Now,
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: this year, two-thirds of Harvard's freshman class identifies as non-white.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: 70% of those people, however, come from dual-parent upper-income homes.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: So when you're letting in the daughter of a private
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: equity Taiwanese billionaire, that's not diversity. That's not helping anybody.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: So what I would argue is affirmative action is a
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: wonderful thing, but it should be based on color, but
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: that color is green.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: And that is a white kid from Appalachia deserves just
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: as much. I'm a beneficiary of affirmative action. I got
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: Pell Grants in 1994.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, I got them.
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: There you go. I think that's the way to go.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: Because the wonderful thing about America today, and we don't
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: celebrate America's progress enough. Young people want to shitpost it
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: as if we've made no progress. We've made extraordinary progress.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: And as fucked up as we are, we're less fucked
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: up than I believe any nation in the world. You
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: would rather be born in America, and this is a
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: good thing, you'd rather be born today, and the stats
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: show this, you'd rather be born gay or non-white than poor.
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: The people who need a hand up, the best way
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: to identify who is most screwed and is going to
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: face the biggest obstacles and deserves the most additional resources
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: and kind of unfair help is a poor kid. We
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: need to get out of identity politics and focus on economics. Yeah.
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's a good point, man. I don't know how,
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: you know, I know we're looking at a lot, like
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: a lot of the issues. It's like, how does, how
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: do we like get into like solution and keep it
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: kind of, and also like keep it positive. Cause sometimes
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: I'll get in this space where I'm just looking at
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: the problems. Right. So how do I start looking at
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: the solutions to like, I mean, I guess you said like,
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: you know, you can get involved in your community. You
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: can try to take care of yourself as a young man.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: But then it just also feels like a ton of
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: pressure on young men, you know?
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you feel that pressure, right? I mean, you're
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: here in New York. You got to get gas. You
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: got to, you feel pressure, I'm sure. Oh yeah, I
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: definitely feel pressure. I guess I'm thinking like as a
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: young man, you know? Like how do you start to
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: create masculinity if you were just a young, if you're,
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: you know, say you're, You're 20 years old, and you
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: were raised by a single mother, and you're out in
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: college right now. How do you start to, I guess,
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: define your world of feeling masculine and creating more masculinity
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: in your life? And maybe you've outlined some of those
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: things already, you know? I think, again, it's come back.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: Masculinity is a social construct. We get to decide what
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: it is. And by the way, it's not sequestered to
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: people just born as males. Before my shoulders got all
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: fucked up, I used to go to CrossFit, and I
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: noticed over 20 years more and more women showing up.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: Some women demonstrate wonderful masculinity. I'm drawn to men. My
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: closest friends are more feminine. They're more caring. I have
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: male friends who kind of take care of me. But
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: I think using those things as a code could be
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: a great guidepost for young men, right? There's nothing wrong
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: with wanting to make money. There's nothing wrong with wanting
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: to be strong. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: sex and wanting to find romantic and sexual partners. And
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: using that as a guide. Why are women, for example,
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: why are women drawn to men? What are they attracted
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: to in reverse order? And there's research around this. Number three, kindness.
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: They want a guy that's nice to his parents. They
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: want a guy that treats strangers well. They want a
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: guy that thinks about other people even when they're not
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: in front of them, that treats them well even though
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: they'll never see them again. Number two is intellect. And
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: this goes way back anthropologically. The guy who makes good
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: decisions for the tribe, the tribe's more likely to survive
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: at some point Typically throughout history, women are much more
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: vulnerable because they give birth and they're much more physically vulnerable.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: So a woman wants a man who is smart and
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: makes good decisions. By the way, the fastest way to
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: communicate intellect is humor. Yeah. I jokingly say my impression
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: of a woman is I'm laughing, I'm laughing, I'm naked.
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: If you can make a woman laugh.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: If you can make a woman laugh.
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: Look at you, you're looking guilty.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: No, I'm thinking this, I'm laughing, I'm laughing. And then, oh,
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: you're missing, you know? That's more, cause it's like, I'll
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: always won't close a deal. You know what I'm saying?
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: I'll literally be fucking, I'll stand on the curb and
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: I will not get in the Uber, dude. I just, there's,
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: I just, I mean, I just, I get afraid. The
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: other day I talked to some girl, right? I saw
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: her at the fricking Whole Foods, dude. She was getting,
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: I thought it was spaghetti or something. And I was like, oh,
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: you like spaghetti? And, but I had looked at the
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: wrong thing or whatever. And she was buying flowers, right?
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: And she's like, what is this guy talking about? But
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: I guess she thought it was cute or whatever. And
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: so then I kept talking. And then I was like, oh,
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: do you know if there's a hot bar around here?
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: And she goes, it's on the other side. So I went,
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: then I'm like, fuck, now I have to go to
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: the other side away from her, right? Then she comes
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: over there and I'm like, this is it, you know?
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: And then I just kept looking at her and then
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: she left, you know?
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but this is a good segue to the number
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: one thing. Okay. And that is the ability to signal resources. Yeah.
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: And it's not necessarily you have to be a baller
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: at that moment. Yeah. But you have to have a plan. Yeah.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: You have to be the guy that's disciplined. One of
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: the reasons women are attracted to men who are in
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: good shape is it shows that You show up. It
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: shows you have discipline. So if I could give you
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: any advice in that specific situation, it would be, oh, hi,
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: are those flowers? By the way, I have one of
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: the 10 biggest podcasts in the world. Boss, that's how. Anyways,
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: but you get my meaning.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: Three, kindness. Two, intellect. And one, your ability to signal resources.
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: I see. Would you like to go to Holland where
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: they have tulips year round? I could say that.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: I'm leaving tomorrow.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: And then I'm not, but still.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: Take her to holland.com but still yeah that could be
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: interesting yeah i think there is that but yeah that
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: confidence it's a good point you know to signal that
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: you just have confidence in yourself that's really what the
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: that is you know is just saying i have some
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: confidence enough in myself and sometimes i'll sometimes i will
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: make the extra step but it's just like i have
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: to just practice it more and i have to realize
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: that if that one girl says no it's not that
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: every girl's saying no man that this is just a momentary,
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: it's just a momentary challenge. What would you say to
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: mothers who have children, right? Single mothers who have children,
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: how can they do that for their kids? You know,
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: one thing that I will think is put your kid
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: into a Brazilian jujitsu class. I think it's the best,
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: it was the best place that I ever went. I
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: trained for like maybe a year and a half, right?
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: It was the first place I ever went where I
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: you would be wrestling one second, but then having an
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: emotional conversation with somebody the next second, because it was very.
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: You and Lex Friedman, you're both really into jiu-jitsu, right?
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: No, he's really, he's still doing it, practicing, right? I
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: just kept getting hurt so bad and it was affecting
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: my ability to work.
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: But it was like, you were like monkeys, you know?
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: Like you, you would like be battling against somebody, but
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: even if you lost, they still cared about you. So
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: there was this element of safety that you started to learn. Yeah. Right? And...
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: That felt like years of manhood in months that I
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: was learning.
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: But you said something really important, and that is I
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: was asked, so I'm an entrepreneur. I've registered some success.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: And I go, what's the secret to your success? I'm like, one,
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: it was being smart enough to be born in America.
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: There's just more opportunity. You'd rather be good in America
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: than great in almost any other country.
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: There really is. You have more agency here if you
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: work hard and you're a good person to be successful
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: than any place in the world. And none of that
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: was my fault. It was my parents' fault. They got
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: on a ship, a steamship in the 60s from Europe,
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: take a huge risk, which paid a huge benefit for me.
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: I came to professional age in California where I got
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: free education that was accessible, came of age in the internet.
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: And when I was your age, I was like, all
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: my success in my mind was because of my character
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: and my grit. And then as you get older, you
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: realize a lot of your success isn't your fault. But
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: if I've done one thing well, it's what I call failure.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: And that is I ran for sophomore, junior, and senior
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: class presidents. I lost three times. And based on my
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: track record, I decided to run for student body president
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: where I went on to, wait for it, lose. I've
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: started nine businesses. Seven have failed. I can't tell you
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: how many women in Whole Foods and other places and
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: other retail establishments I've been rejected by. But the reason
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: I get to live the life I lead, the reason
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: I'm with a very high character, attractive person, is because
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: I have always been able to endure rejection. And that
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: is the key. That is the skill. Because one of
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: the great things about America is we don't embrace failure.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: That's bullshit. But we tolerate it. If your business fails
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: but you're a good person, usually your investors will back
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: you again. And if you approach a woman and express
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: interest and she's not interested, you're both going to be fine.
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: And show me a guy. Show me a guy. We
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: all know that guy. You think, OK, he's a nice guy.
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: He's modestly successful. It's not that attractive. And he's with
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: just such a high quality woman. That guy is not
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: afraid of rejection. That guy cycled through nine women who said,
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: get the fuck away from me. Before he found that
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: one woman who gave him a chance to be funny, kind.
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: She was drawn to his smell. She liked the way
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: he treated his parents. The key to success in America
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: is what Winston Churchill said. And that is the willingness
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: to fail. or your ability to fail and not lose
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: your sense of enthusiasm. And the one thing about jiu-jitsu
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: and about sports is, quite frankly, it teaches you how
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: to lose and show up the next day.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Right?
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: So I think you've got to put your kids and
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: mothers got to put their sons in an environment where they.
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: This is off and it's ringing, so that's the government.
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: I'm not even joking. It happens a lot. Go on. Anyways.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: Your willingness or your resilience, your ability to move through
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: rejection without losing your sense of enthusiasm.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny. A lot of times when I felt rejection,
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: it attached to some old feelings inside of myself that
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: were of rejection. And that would be, it felt demoralizing
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: at times. But I agree with you. Yeah, we've seen
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: those guys who are like, how did that guy do it?
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: How did he figure it out? How was he able
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: to just show up for himself in the face of rejection?
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: But I bet rejection does get easier the more you
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: start to swim in it, you know?
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: You realize that, I mean, here's the thing. So I
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: know you're religious. I'm an atheist. I think at some
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: point I'm going to look into my kids' eyes and
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: know our relationship is coming to an end. And it's empowering.
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: It's one of the biggest unlocks in my life because
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: I realize if I fuck up on this podcast and
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: you don't think a lot of me, I'm bummed, but
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: you're going to be dead soon. And so am I.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: It really doesn't matter. Everything we're worried about, we're a
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: group of mites on an unremarkable rock in one of
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: a billion universes in 10 billion galaxies. We're not even
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: here for the blink of an eye. So why on
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: earth wouldn't you squeeze as much lemon or juice out
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: of this lemon as possible? Because the moment you think
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: you've done something embarrassing, the moment you're worried about approaching
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: that woman at Whole Foods, everyone who saw you, everyone
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: you're worried about, she, they go on to thinking about
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: themselves right away. And it doesn't matter because you're both
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: going to be dead soon.
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: I find that liberating. Why wouldn't you go up to
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: someone and tell them you admire them? And it's also
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: an unlock for me emotionally. I started telling people I
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: love them. I started telling people I care about them.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: I started, when I was single, going up to people
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: outside of my weight class and telling them I was
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: interested in them romantically. Most of the time they'd say no.
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: And guess what? We're both going to be fine because
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: we're both going to be dead, Theo. It doesn't really matter.
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: So this ability to get back your embarrassment, get over
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: your fear, For me, that sounds strange, but it comes
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: from a recognition that I'm just not going to be
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: here that long, and either are they. It's this enormous unlock.
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: Because if you think about what you said about, I mean,
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: for God's sakes, you're like this baller. You're a handsome
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: guy who's got a top 10 podcast, and you're intimidated
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: by some woman at Whole Foods. Can you imagine how
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: most men feel?
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: So what you got to do is, what I'm trying
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: to do with my sons, is I'm trying to encourage
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: them to say, okay, Get out, talk to strangers, talk
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: to strange women. Also, kind of a segue here, try
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: and modulate your use of porn such that at some
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: point you become so fucking horny you're willing to take
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: those risks.
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, now that's it. We can definitely go there, brother. Because, yeah,
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: I think that was something that I got sidetracked with
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: pornography for sure, man, you know. And I'll tell you why, too.
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: For pornography, for me, it was a relationship that I
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: could manage, right? It was the first kind of interaction
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: with women it felt like that I could manage this.
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: It's low risk. It's low risk. It's available when you
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: need it to start and when you need it to stop, right?
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: It was like that was something that was very manageable
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: for me. But then over time, you realize that it
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: kind of devalues women. It makes you think of sex
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: in just like still frames and instances, right? And he
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: would see sex as individual scenes of things. I would
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: have a date set up, then I would end up masturbating,
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: and then I wouldn't even go on the date. Because
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: I was like, well, now I don't feel any fire
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: inside of me.
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: Lose your mojo.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And then you do that for a decade, and
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: your mojo is a ghost.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: But we were talking about school and society and a
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: bias against men that hurts men, right? And what I
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: would say is, one of the biggest obstacles men face
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: right now is the most talented, deepest resource companies in
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: the world that attract the brightest minds and the most
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: capital and have the best technology are all trying to
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: do the same thing. They're all trying to give men
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: the false impression they can have a reasonable facsimile of
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: life on a screen with an algorithm. You don't need friends.
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: With a facsimile, I'm sorry.
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: They can have a fake life. They can have a
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: life on a screen with an algorithm. Oh, yeah. So
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: you don't need friends. Having friends is hard. Remember making
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: your posse of friends and in elementary and junior high,
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: trying to break into the right pecking order of friends.
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: It was high barriers of entry, but it was high
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: barriers of exit, right? And you learned a lot together.
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: And we used to take off. You know, I think
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: parents overprotect their kids now. I used to leave my
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: mom's house at nine in the morning on a Saturday
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: with a Schwinn bike, an Abba Zabba bar, and 35 cents,
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: and she wouldn't see me for 14 hours. But what
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: are tech companies? What are the brightest companies in the
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: world that are the most well-resourced? You don't need friends.
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: You got Reddit and Discord. You don't need to go
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: through the humiliation of trying to get a job and
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: buying a suit and showing up on time. Trade crypto
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: or stocks on Coinbase or Robinhood. You don't need to
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: go through the humiliation, the rejection, the perseverance of trying
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: to establish a romantic relationship, going on dates, being funny,
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: trying hard, enduring rejection, following up. Why? Why would you
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: do that? You got you porn. And what we got
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: to tell men, what we got to convince them of
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: is over the long term, nothing wonderful is gonna happen
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: to you on a screen, ever. And also, you porn
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: is a distant second to your porn. I'm convinced I
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: wouldn't have graduated from UCLA if I didn't think there
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: was a reasonable probability that if I went to class
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: and went on campus at UCLA, I might meet someone.
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: That was my far. And I quite frankly, if I
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: had you porn at home and I had these new
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: AI girlfriends, I'm not sure I would have ever gone
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: on campus. So this is what young men are facing.
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: They're facing a low risk, low barrier of entry, reasonable
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: facsimile of life that over time they get depressed and
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: lonely because the reason romantic comedies are two hours and
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: not 15 minutes is this shit is hard. But here's
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: the good news. It's worth it. It's absolutely worth it.
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: Well, right now, I think you have like even with
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: like elections, like you're almost people are trying to vote
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: that back into. I think there's a little bit of like, well,
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: we need to get something masculine going on, you know,
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: because it's definitely this world. It has a big labia
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: on it, you know. and we need to. And that's fine.
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: You say that like it's a bad thing. No, I don't.
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: Look, we're happy with a decent amount of labia, but
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: we need to make sure it's, you know.
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: Hey, are you buying flowers?
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's pasta. But here's what I think. I think
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: people are expecting the government to rescue them. That's what
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: I mean with some of the voting, right? We want
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: the government. But how much of that is us having
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: to govern ourselves? And how much of that is do
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: we need some, like, changes in our actual system? like
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: laws and stuff like that. Like what is realistic of
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: one to expect? Does that make sense?
• 59:46
  Speaker 2: I've been thinking about this election. Yeah, I do. But
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: I've been thinking a lot about this election and I
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: was vocal. I supported Harris. I was shocked she got
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: beaten and she got beat. She got destroyed. She just
• 59:57
  Speaker 2: got beaten. She got destroyed. She lost seven of the
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: seven swing states. As I looked at the data, I
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: would describe this election as the testosterone election. And what
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: do you have? You have men doing more poorly, men
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 2: under the age of 30 doing more poorly than they
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: have in a long time. And the election all zeroes
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: down to one piece of data for me, or the results.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: For the first time in our nation's history, for the
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: first time in 275 years, a man or woman at
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: the age of 30 isn't doing as well as his
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: or her parents were at 30. That's never happened before.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, so let's say that again a little bit slower, Scott,
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: just so we can really digest that a little bit.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: A man.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: For the first time in our nation's history, a man
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: or woman at 30... isn't doing as well as his
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: or her parents were at 30.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: It's always been your kids are doing better than you
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: on average. Right. And when that doesn't happen... You.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: Start to feel like a failure as a child, especially
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: in light to your parents, for sure.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: Not only your self-esteem, but it creates rage and shame
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: in the household. And who's doing really poorly under 30? Men.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: The average 70-year-old is 72% wealthier than they were 40
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 2: years ago. The average person under the age of 40
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: is 24% less wealthy. And 210 times a day, they
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: get a notification on their phone reminding them that they're
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: failing because it seems like everyone is at the Almond
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: Hotel or flying in a Gulfstream. Yeah. But I'm not,
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: everyone's telling me that the economy is good. I keep
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: hearing about crypto going to $ 80, 000, stock market hitting 71
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: highs in the last 12 months. All these things are true.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: But I'm living at home and I can't afford rent.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: Well, if I meet one more little coin pussy running
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: around about this Bitcoin stuff, I'm going to fucking eat
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: my own nuts off my body. That stuff, I lost $ 2, 000
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: in it like every one of my friends did about
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: four years ago, and I didn't touch it since then.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: I'm a no-coiner too.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: This is a pyramid scheme, it feels like. I'm a no-coiner.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: You are?
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never owned a coin.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: Well, it just seems like it's like, oh, I can
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: sit here and win this thing from home.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: Easy money.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: And that's more to part of the trap that you're
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: saying is you can't sit here and win this thing
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: from home probably.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: But when your kids aren't doing well, You're not interested
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: in hearing about territorial sovereignty in Ukraine. You're not interested
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: in talking about trans rights. Your kid isn't doing well.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 2: And when your kid isn't doing well, you don't want change.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 2: You don't want a Democrat. You not only don't want change,
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: you want disruption. You want chaos.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: And you also, you want some of that what I'll
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: call male energy back. And look at how Trump positioned himself.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: What did he do?
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: Crypto.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: Embrace of cars and rockets, Elon. What medium? Did he
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: go on MSNBC and CNN and Fox?
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: He went to UFC fights.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: And he went on podcasts, your podcast.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I wonder if that affected a lot. I don't know.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Are you kidding?
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: The UFC is what did.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: It to people.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: And the guy didn't fucking stop. People can say whatever
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: they want. That's a 70 or eight year old dude
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: who for four years, the guy, I don't know if
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: he doesn't sleep, but the guy works hard. He got
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: killed a couple times. He climbed back out of the
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: coffin or whatever. He kept dying and getting up and going.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: He didn't stop. At a certain point, you just have
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: to be like, I'm not betting against that dude. And
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: he got Elon. People love Elon. I just feel like
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: the parties have changed. I used to feel like a Democrat.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: I don't even know what. Nothing really embodies me anymore,
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: it feels like.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: It's all changed now, it feels like.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: But look at, let's just use some examples. MSNBC, which
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: is considered like the left or a big political network,
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: average a million, its most popular shows get a million viewers.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 2: You know what the average age is of MSNBC? 70.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: And it veers towards women. Podcast, Joe Rogan. Trump goes
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: on Joe Rogan. Yeah. 40 million views on YouTube, 15
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: million downloads. Average age, 34. 55 million 34-year-old males versus
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 2: 1 million 70-year-old women. And what do you know? Let
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: me guess, he was on your podcast, right?
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, he was on Who the Boys? His strategy was,
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: I'm going to take the top 10 podcasts, right? Eight
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: of them lean right and lean male. I'm going on
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: every one of them. I'm not going on CNN or Fox.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: I'm going, I'm flying into the testosterone storm. And the
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: media of men right now, is podcasting it's where young
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: men are going.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's probably true yeah i mean i like watching
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: podcasts and podcast clips and stuff like that more but
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: it's also you look at rogan used to be a
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: democrat he was a leftist i'm a bernie fan it's
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: like these people fucking alienated my heroes in the democratic
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: party it's gotten like you know it's very bizarre i
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: mean the political part of it is very bizarre to
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: me um but i do think there's a lot about
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: what you're saying is like yeah a man wants to
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: feel like it's okay to be a man And you're like,
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: sometimes you leave the house, like, is it okay to
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: be a man? Do I have to check my dick
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: at the door of this restaurant or whatever? Like, it
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: feels like that sometimes, you know? And it's not how
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: somebody should feel. So, yeah, I think it's great that
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: we're talking about this and that we're thinking about that stuff,
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: you know? What do you think the effects of, like,
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: social media are on young men?
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's a disaster. There's my colleague at NYU, Jonathan Hyde,
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: he wrote this book called The Anxious Generation.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: Jonathan Hyde?
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: Height, Jonathan Height, H-I-D-T. Okay. Essentially, there's a lot of
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: peer-reviewed research, including research that just came out of Oxford,
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: showing that there's about a 60% increase in self-harm, eating disorders,
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: and anxiety for people who spend too much time on
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: social media. Imagine, did you have social media when you
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 2: were in school?
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: No, dude, you had to yell at somebody, right?
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: But imagine the cafeteria. Graffiti.
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: That was the only social media you had, dude. You'd
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: be like, you know, Larry likes dudes. And it was like, well,
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: who knows, bro? But it never told you their last name.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: It was very, and it would be like, but now even,
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: even graffiti, dude, especially like in Brooklyn. It's so, it's
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: like Larry likes dudes, but only if he's okay with it.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: I read that. And I was like, that's not, what
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: is it? Everything's fucking confusing, dude. Nobody cared if Larry
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: liked dudes or not. It was just the fact that
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: somebody got to say it, you know? And then now
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: it's like, only if he's cool with it. It's like,
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: who's right? Anyway, what are you going to say?
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: The bottom line is social media is bad. It's bad
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: for teen girls and it's bad, really bad for young men.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: There's a direct, there's a linear correlation between anxiety, eating
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: disorders with young women, anxiety with men, because it's like,
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: you never get to leave the high school cafeteria. And
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 2: it's especially hard on girls in high school because boys
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: bully physically and And verbally, girls bully relationally. And we
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: put these nuclear weapons in their hands. They're actually a
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 2: little bit, they can be a little bit meaner. And
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: then you take online dating. Anytime you digitize a sector,
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: it becomes a winner-take-most environment.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, say that one more time. Anytime you digitize a sector,
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: like what does that mean?
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: Anytime a sector becomes all about the internet. So retail
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: used to be stores. It becomes online. Amazon now controls
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: 50% of all. e-commerce, right? We used to go to
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 2: the Encyclopedia Britannica, to the library, to microfiche, to different newspapers.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 2: Now we go to Google. Google has 93% of search. Social,
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 2: Facebook and Meta owns two thirds of all social media.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 2: Online dating, everyone has access to everyone. You think that's good?
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 2: It's not because women all want the same dude. And
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: if you have 50 men on Tinder and 50 women,
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: 46 of the women will show all of their attention
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 2: to just four men.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 2: So that leaves 46 men fighting over four women. And
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: the reality is those women can have sex with the
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 2: top 10%, but they're usually not going to have a relationship.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: And because that top 10% of men get 80 to
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: 90% of the opportunities, they can engage in what I
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 2: refer to as Porsche polygamy. And that is, it doesn't
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: encourage long-term good behavior. It doesn't encourage them to settle down.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 2: Whereas when we were kids, you went to your church,
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: your temple, your high school, and you kind of figured
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 2: out your weight class. There were eight single women at
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: your temple, eight single men, and you sort of paired off. Yeah.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: And men had an opportunity to demonstrate excellence at some point.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 2: If you talk to married couples that have been together
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 2: longer than 30 years, 75% of them say one was
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 2: much more interested in the other and was always the
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: man who was much more interested. But over time, she
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: saw that he was kind.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 2: She worked with him. He was good at what he did.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: So where do men demonstrate excellence now And then a
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: man goes online, check out this stat. On Tinder, a
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 2: man of average attractiveness has to swipe right 200 times
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: to get one swipe back for one coffee. And then
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 2: four of five of those coffees will ghost him. Her
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: screen will come up again and she'll decide not to
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 2: show up for a coffee. So a guy of average
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 2: attractiveness on a dating app has to swipe right a
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 2: thousand times to get a coffee. So he feels rejected
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 2: by women. He becomes much more prone to misogynistic content online. Yeah.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: prone to conspiracy theory, less likely to believe in climate change.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: And he's hopped up on caffeine, too. because he's been
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: fucking sitting there sipping by himself, you know?
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: In some, he becomes a shitty citizen. So social media
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 2: and online dating have been really bad for young men
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 2: and women. I think online dating has been especially rough
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 2: on men.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I don't like to be online dating. I
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: haven't been on. I'm like seven years off of it.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: Raya won't let me on there because I told an
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: awesome joke on Twitter that they got offended by, I guess.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: But I also I didn't want somebody to be able
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: to say no to me when I wasn't there in person.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: That's how it felt to me. I just didn't want
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: to give somebody that pleasure that they could say no.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: And even though it's not a real no, it is,
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: you know, it's all very hypothetical, but I just didn't
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: want to allow somebody to have that. But then also, um,
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: by not doing that, it's, it is harder. You have
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: to meet people in real time, in real life, you know?
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: And so it is more of a challenge, but it's also, um,
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: you know, it is, I guess, uh, you just feel
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: like you're not getting rejected. Um, when I started podcasting
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: and online stores, the furthest thing from my mind, the
• 1:09:59
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• 1:10:01
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  Speaker 1: prevent moms from just having to raise these young men
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: by themselves? Like what would you say to a young
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: couple that's starting out if the male is listening or
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: the female to help give them the best chance to
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: stay together, which would seem like would help affect other
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: positive things along the way?
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 2: So again, we have a tendency in our society to
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 2: assume that all divorce is the man's fault, that the
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 2: man is either a predator or not a good person,
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 2: and the woman has no agency, and she's the victim.
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 2: And the reality is 70% of divorce filings are filed
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 2: by women. And the majority of those divorce filings, if
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 2: you look at why the woman is filed for divorce,
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 2: it's not infidelity. It's not a lack of shared values.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: It's the man has something happens that makes him less
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 2: economically viable. A mental breakdown, a loss of a business,
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 2: a bankruptcy. women still look at men primarily as being providers.
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 2: And once a man, a man going through divorce, so
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 2: young men are four times as likely to kill themselves.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 2: A man two years after divorce is eight times as likely.
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 2: He no longer serves a role in his church. He
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 2: no longer serves a role in his primary relationship. He
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 2: might lose his kids. One out of three men have
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 2: no contact with their children after six years. So he
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 2: has literally no role.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: After six years of a divorce, you mean?
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 2: After six years of divorce, one out of three men
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 2: has absolutely no contact with their children.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, man, that's heartbreaking.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 2: Well, it's hard when you're not around a lot. So
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 2: what I would suggest is that, one, I think we
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 2: need to level up young people economically. And I don't
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 2: think you can just target men for economic programs. I
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 2: think it's too political. But I think we need to
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 2: restore the child tax credit. I think we need a
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 2: massive program to build more housing. I think we should
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 2: have a national nuclear energy project similar to what Truman
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 2: did in the 50s with the National Highway Act. It'll
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 2: create hundreds of thousands of good, millions of good paying
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 2: jobs for young men.
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: So what do you mean talking about like Space Mountain
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: going everywhere? Like what do you mean? You mean like
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: a train system?
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 2: No. So if you look at what's happening in our
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 2: economy with AI and some of the innovations around digital,
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: the choke point of the friction is energy. We're not
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 2: going to have enough energy.
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: We're not going to.
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 2: So nuclear energy. is, in my opinion, the cleanest form
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 2: of energy. And we're going to need a massive number
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 2: of nuclear power plants built. Those are good jobs for
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 2: the National Infrastructure Act. 70% of those jobs are for
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 2: young men. That's a good thing. In sum, let me
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 2: back up. Biggest innovation in history is not the microchip
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 2: or the smartphone. It's the American middle class. And the
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 2: way the American middle class happened, it's an accident. It's
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 2: not normal throughout history to have a middle class. The
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 2: way the American middle class formed in America was we
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: had 7 million men return from World War II, and
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 2: they had demonstrated excellence in uniform. They were in good shape.
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 2: They were strong. They had demonstrated real heroism. And then
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 2: Truman put in place a variety of programs that leveled
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 2: them up economically, right? The GI Bill, subsidized home loans,
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 2: National Transportation Act. He created millions and millions of men who,
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 2: quite frankly, were really solid citizens who were attractive to women.
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 2: There was huge household formations, and it gave rise to
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 2: the baby boom. And this created a number, millions of
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 2: American households that thought, I want to give other people
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 2: this opportunity. I want to bring women into this opportunity.
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 2: I want to bring non-whites into this opportunity. Eventually, I
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 2: want to bring gay people in this opportunity. It created
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 2: a more loving, generous, what I'll call liberal society. We
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 2: have to feed the middle class. And the part that's
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 2: failing the middle class right now is young men. So
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 2: the question is, how do we level up young men,
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 2: quite frankly, economically? And I think it's a variety of programs,
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 2: national service, more job programs, more apprenticeship.
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: What does national service mean?
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 2: Two-year mandatory national service to get out of high school.
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: Oh, I see what you're saying.
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 2: You serve either in the armed services, maybe going to
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 2: senior care, maybe you help the four, you know, whatever
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 2: it might be.
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: Right, it could be like digging dam, you know, installing
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: like stuff like that.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 2: Fighting fires, whatever it might be, helping seniors.
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: Wow, because then first of all, you're going to feel
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: an attraction to your own country. You're going to feel
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: like you contributed. And once you feel like you contributed something,
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: it means something to you. It's like whenever you used to,
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 1: you know, your dad would drive you through the neighborhood
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: or your grandfather would be like, I built that house
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: or I painted that or, you know, I used to,
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: you know, eat sandwiches over there or something. It just
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: makes you feel connected to an area, right?
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 2: But rather than you and me seeing each other, you go, okay,
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 2: Scott's a libtard. And I go, oh, this is a
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 2: Republican pretending to be an independent. We just say we're Americans.
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 2: The greatest legislation in history, or at least in America,
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 2: in the 50s and 60s, and the reason we had
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 2: such a productive Congress and they got along was because
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 2: they served in the same uniform. They weren't blue or red.
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 2: They were Americans, right?
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you go through those grave cemeteries, you go through them,
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: and it's different ethnicities, different religions.
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 2: There's no red or blue. It doesn't say Democrat or Republican.
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 2: So a massive leveling up economically of young people. I'd
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 2: like to do what Portugal did. Portugal has said, We're
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 2: turning into this retirement place for hedge fund managers. And
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 2: the brightest young people in Portugal have one thing in common,
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 2: they leave. So you know what they've done, Theo? They've
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 2: decided no taxes, age 20 to 30. And it actually
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 2: doesn't cost them that much because most people age 20
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 2: to 30 don't make much money.
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: Right. It's beyond that. You make your money.
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 2: We need 40% of our budget goes to seniors, which
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 2: leaves less money for education, programs, investment in R & D,
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 2: which are more productive investments. We have a political system
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 2: where old people keep voting and more old people who
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 2: vote themselves more money, right? The $ 120 billion cost of
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 2: living adjustment increase for Social Security flies right through. The
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 2: $ 40 billion tax credit to help young families, that gets
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 2: stripped out of the Inflation Reduction Act. We need to
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 2: massively economically lift up young people, which will disproportionately benefit
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 2: young men who have fallen further faster and, quite frankly,
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 2: make them more attractive. and people are gonna start having
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 2: kids again. 40 years ago, 60% of 30 year olds
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 2: had a kid, now it's 27%. The average age of
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 2: a home buyer this year is 54. 40 years ago
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 2: was 36. Are people not buying homes and not having
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 2: kids because they don't want them? No, they can't afford them.
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 2: And guess what? When a guy shows up and says,
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 2: I am not economically viable. You are not gonna be
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 2: able to buy a home with me. I am not
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 2: gonna be able to protect you. The woman doesn't want
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 2: to pair with this guy. We need a massive lift
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 2: up of young people And everything we do is nothing
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 2: but a thinly veiled transfer of wealth from your generation
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 2: to mine. COVID, $ 6 trillion in stimulus. 85% of it
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 2: wasn't needed. 85% of it wasn't spent. So where'd it go?
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 2: It went into the stock market. Stock market hits all-time highs.
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 2: Housing prices have gone from 290, average house pre-COVID, to 410.
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 2: That's great for me. I own stocks and I own homes. Ed,
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 2: my co-host at Prop G Markets, He doesn't own homes
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 2: or stocks yet. So what's going to happen? We're spending
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 2: it all on his credit card. We're running up these
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 2: massive deficits, which he will have to pay back. So
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 2: I get the champagne and cocaine with his credit card.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 2: We need to stop this crazy deficit spending that both
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 2: the only thing that passes is bipartisan behavior right now
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 2: is reckless spending. We need economic responsibility, and we need
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 2: to transfer wealth back from the incumbents to the entrants
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 2: and level up young people, which will disproportionately benefit the
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 2: group that has fallen furthest fastest. And as young men,
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 2: we need to make young men more economically viable again,
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 2: such that they can form households.
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. And it's, yeah, it's like, yeah, almost if
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: you're a young man these days, you just want to
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 1: just hide sometimes, I think, you know, and it's not
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 1: even their own fault. That's one thing I want to say,
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 1: like some of it is the society that we're in
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: isn't really doing its best to support you. Is that
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 1: okay to say that?
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 2: Oh, 100%.
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 1: I don't want young men to hear this and feel
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 1: like I'm a loser.
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 2: Young men have it. I mean, on one level, people
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 2: have more agency in our nation than they've had in
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 2: a long time. But young men, there's definitely in our
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 2: society a bias against them. If you go to the
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 2: Democratic National Committee's website, there's a section that says who
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 2: we serve. They actually spell out we're the Democratic Party.
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 2: This is who we serve. And I list 16 demographic
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 2: groups from Asians and Pacific Islanders to black Americans, veterans,
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 2: the disabled, immigrants.
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 1: I added it up.
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 2: It's 76% of the population. So when you're purposefully advantaging
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 2: 76% of the population, you're not advantaging them. You're discriminating
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 2: against the 24%. And who are the 24% that aren't mentioned?
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 2: Young men. The Democratic National Convention was a parade of
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 2: every special interest group But they never once mentioned the
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 2: group that has fallen furthest, fastest, and quite frankly, in
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 2: my view, needs the most help right now. And that
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 2: is young men. So we need a more productive conversation
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 2: that looks at the stats. Four times as likely to
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 2: kill themselves, three times as likely to be addicted, 12
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 2: times as likely to be incarcerated. If that was happening
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 2: to any other special interest group.
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: It would be through the roof insane.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 2: We'd be weighing in with programs, with empathy. And here's
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 2: the thing. Empathy is not a zero-sum game. Gay marriage
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 2: didn't hurt.
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 1: What does zero-sum game mean?
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 2: Well, there's a feel. When I talk about young men,
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 2: people go to, well, that's going to hurt women. No,
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 2: it's not. You know who wants more economically and emotionally
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 2: viable men?
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: Women.
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 2: Women.
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 1: Yep. Women.
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 2: God. Civil rights didn't hurt white people. No. Gay marriage,
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 2: in my opinion, didn't hurt heteronormative men. It didn't get
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 2: in the way of me marrying a woman. And having
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 2: empathy for men isn't going to hurt women. We can't.
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 2: Women in the United States are not going to flourish
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 2: if men are flailing, and they are. And because it's
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 2: men and because of the privilege I recognized, there's a
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 2: lack of empathy for them. And quite frankly, because some,
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 2: I would argue, fairly unproductive voices entered that void about 5,
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 2: 10 years ago, a lot of people had sort of
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 2: a gag reflex when you started talking about men. And
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 2: you know who's leading the charge around this topic right now,
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 2: who I get the most emails from? Mothers. And it
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 2: goes something like this. I have three kids, two daughters,
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 2: one son. One daughter is in Chicago in PR. The
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 2: other is in graduate school at Penn. And my son
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 2: is in the basement vaping and playing video games. And
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 2: if you look at the election, the two groups that
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 2: swung most viciously away from blue towards Trump were two groups,
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 2: people under the age of 30. Young people aren't doing well.
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 2: And the second group and the most surprising 45 to
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 2: 64-year-old women, or put another way, mothers. So this was,
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 2: in my opinion, the kids are not all right, or
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 2: kind of the testosterone election. And that is, if your
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 2: kids aren't doing well, you want to blow everything up.
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 2: All you want, you don't just want change, you want chaos.
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 2: And one guy was the chaos candidate. Yeah.
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 1: Well, I think also, though, one great thing that Trump
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: did was, when he brought RFK Jr. in, because RFK Jr.
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 1: was also a very, was a rogue. Remember when people
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 1: were like, this guy is like a crazy guy or whatever.
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 1: Like he's eating, you know, he's, you know, he didn't
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 1: believe in, you know, he just got so labeled by
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 1: the media. And so I think bringing him in was
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 1: a great point, a great idea.
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 2: I agree with you that he's crazy.
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 2: He's batshit crazy.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, he's a great guy, man.
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, dude.
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 1: He's a great guy.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you're holding back scenes, but let's
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 2: shoot up.
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 1: No, no, no.
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 2: There's nothing I love more than being high than not
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 2: being sick. Vaccines are the best thing to happen in
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 2: modern society.
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 1: I don't disagree that they are. I just think that
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 1: they just need to make sure that they are.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 2: He's great on the environment.
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 1: I'll give you that.
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 2: I think he's great on the environment. Yeah, that's fair.
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: We don't have to agree on it. Why do you,
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 1: so let's, I know you're a professor here at NYU.
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 1: And why do you talk about, I've heard you talk
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 1: about advising your students not to follow their passion, but
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: to follow their talent. Is that right?
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 2: I think anyone who tells you to follow your passion
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 2: is already rich. I think this is your job. I
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 2: think your job is to find what you're really good at.
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 2: Because I think a lot of times young men mistake
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 2: their talent for their hobbies or mistake their hobbies for
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 2: their passion. Okay.
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 1: They mistake their hobbies for their passion.
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 2: I wanted to be a football player when I was 17.
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 2: Then I wanted to be a pediatrician. I mean, what
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 2: I found was I was really good at analytics and
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 2: very few boys grew up thinking I'm really good with data.
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 2: And so the majority of the quote-unquote passion fields are
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 2: really shitty industries because there's too many people going into them.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 2: There's 180,000 people in the SAG-AFTRA union, which is the
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 2: union representing actors. 83% of them last year didn't qualify
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 2: for health insurance because they didn't make over $ 23, 000. They're
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 2: not even making any movies anymore. Try and be a DJ.
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 2: Do you know what percentage of high school basketball players
• 1:25:40
  Speaker 2: may get into the NBA? Okay. I mean, it's insane.
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah. Very few.
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 2: The more romantic or sexy an industry is, the lower
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 2: the ROI on your effort. This is your job. Find
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 2: something you're good at instinctively, you have an affinity for,
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 2: that you could someday maybe in the top 10% or
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 2: the top 1%. And here's the key part. It has
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 2: a 90 plus percent employment rate. Because if you're good,
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 2: I'm renovating a house right now. And this guy comes in,
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 2: he's the soapstone guy. He knows more about soapstone than anyone.
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 2: He's this Iraqi immigrant. And he got really into it.
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 2: And he was very open with me. He makes 1.8
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 2: million pounds a year. He clears 800,000 pounds a year, right?
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 2: I don't think he grew up as a child thinking,
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be the soapstone guy in Marlboro in London.
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 2: No one grows up thinking, I want to be the
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 2: best tax attorney in the world. The best tax attorneys
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 2: fly private and have a larger selection set of mates
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 2: than they deserve. And the guy telling you at NYU
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 2: to follow your passion, made his billions in iron ore smelting, right? Yeah.
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 2: The boring industries, the boring shit is where you can
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 2: make a great deal of money.
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 2: Be a DJ on weekends.
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 1: Be a welder during the week.
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 2: That's right. Find a job that you're good at, you
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 2: become great at, that's got a 90 plus percent employment rate.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 2: If you're just good in that industry, you're going to
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 2: make it. And this is what happens.
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 1: What does it mean the 90 plus? Before you, I
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 1: just want to make sure that that's clear. That has
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 1: a 90 percent, what were you saying that part?
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 2: Employment rate.
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: And what does that mean when you say that?
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 2: Tax law. Anyone with a degree in law and tax law.
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, you're going to get a job and a 90% chance.
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 1: That's what you're saying.
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 2: Employment rate.
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 1: Okay, got it.
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 2: Employment rate in basketball, DJ, art, modeling, sports, owning a club,
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 2: a restaurant. I would bet the unemployment rate is 90%.
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 2: Because there's too many people pursuing too few jobs.
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 2: So I don't want to crush your dreams. If you
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 2: want to be a DJ, you want to be the
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 2: next Lionel Messi. Just make sure you're getting bright signals
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 2: very early that you're in the top 1%, which is
• 1:27:34
  Speaker 2: where you're going to need to be.
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 1: Right, because at a certain point, you have to play
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 1: to the odds.
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 2: Well, this is what you become passionate about. You're going
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 2: to see this as you get older. You become passionate
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 2: about taking care of your kids. You become passionate about
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 2: taking care of your parents. You become passionate about going
• 1:27:49
  Speaker 2: to the Hotel du Cap or going to F1 in Austin.
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 2: I went to Wimbledon for the first time. Oh, yeah.
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 2: And I'd rather be Roger Federer than me. I'd rather
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 2: be named all than me. But I'd rather be me
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 2: than the number five seed in the world.
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, who's that?
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 2: I have no idea.
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 1: Right, that's what I'm saying.
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 2: And all I know is the number five seed is
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 2: in the 0.0001%. All I need to be is in
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 2: the top 10% of my field, and I can buy
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 2: my way into Wimbledon. Right. So find something you're great at.
• 1:28:18
  Speaker 2: And if you're great at it, and you can make
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 2: money at it, You're going to have a great relationship
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 2: with your wife and your kids. We live in a
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 2: capitalist society.
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 1: Right. And that's not going to change, right?
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 2: 100% no. America becomes more like itself every day. And
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 2: that is it is a loving, generous place if you
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 2: have money. It's a rapacious, violent place if you don't
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 2: have money. And I'm not saying that's the way it
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 2: should be, but that is the way it is. So
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 2: your job as a young person, what could I be
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 2: great at that pays, that has a 90-plus percent employment rate?
• 1:28:52
  Speaker 2: And this is where passion comes from, the accoutrements, the camaraderie,
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 2: the economic relevance. The status of being great at something
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 2: where you're making good money, that will make you passionate
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 2: about that thing. Mastery, artisanship, being a ninja-like warrior in
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 2: anything will make you passionate about that thing, regardless of
• 1:29:11
  Speaker 2: how boring it may sound when you're nine years old.
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny. The better I've become at some things,
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 1: the more I like them. Is that what you're saying? 100%.
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: That's cool, man. What I've heard you also talk about
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 1: the four horsemen, right. And like a lot of the, um, uh,
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 1: dangerous collaboration of media.
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:29:34
  Speaker 1: And like, um, with Apple, Amazon, Google and Facebook. Yep.
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 2: Very good.
• 1:29:41
  Speaker 1: And you've been a part of like antitrust act activation
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: towards them.
• 1:29:46
  Speaker 2: I think they should be broken up. I think they're
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 2: too powerful.
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 1: Me too. Yeah. It's very dangerous, right?
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 2: Well, we don't have any choice. If you're going to,
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 2: If you're a parent and your kid is on social media,
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 2: you don't have any choice. The kid doesn't have any choice.
• 1:29:59
  Speaker 2: He's going to be on a meta platform.
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 2: And these companies are so powerful that they're able to,
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 2: and they make so much money that they're able to
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 2: kind of weaponize government. We've had 40 congressional hearings talking
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 2: about child safety. We've had zero laws passed.
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 2: And I think competition as a whole is a great
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 2: way of bringing down costs. I think the best way
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 2: to handle inflation is competition. And you have one company
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 2: with 93% share of Search, Google, 66% share of social, meta,
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 2: 50% share of e-commerce. Two companies control 93% of AI,
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 2: AI LLMs and the GPUs. That's OpenAI and NVIDIA. So
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 2: there's already monopolies forming in AI.
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's unbelievable. Here's Australia wants to ban kids. I
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 1: saw this the other day on 16 from social media
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 1: as world government seeks to crack down on the addictive apps.
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 1: I think that that's a great idea. I don't think
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: that kids... And also, especially if kids aren't going to
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 1: be protected. Like, did you see that moment where they
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: had Zuckerberg with all the parents of children who were
• 1:30:58
  Speaker 1: killed by adults on Facebook and they were allowed to
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 1: contact them? Like, why should an adult be allowed to
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 1: contact a child? You should easily, if you have all
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 1: the data, you should easily know this is a child
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 1: and this is an adult. There's no reason for them
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 1: to contact each other without going through the parent.
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 2: There's no reason anyone under the age of 14 should
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 2: have a smartphone. I mean, I've said this. I think
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 2: Sundar Pichai... and Tim Cook are basically crack dealers outside
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 2: of junior high school. No one under the age of
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 2: 14 should be on a smartphone. Could you have at
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 2: 14 handled a casino, a betting, an IMAX theater, a
• 1:31:36
  Speaker 2: porn site in your pocket all day long?
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 1: I could handle it at 34, 37. Right?
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 2: And then no, I don't think anyone should be on
• 1:31:44
  Speaker 2: a social media app under the age of 16. And
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 2: parents are stepping in. And a lot of this, again,
• 1:31:49
  Speaker 2: is because of the inspiration of my colleague, Jonathan Hyde.
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 2: But entire countries are banning phones and social media. There's
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 2: just so much evidence around the mental. Think about what
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 2: a place of perversion Instagram begins with. It encourages 15-year-old
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 2: girls to pose provocatively and sexualize themselves such that their
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 2: peers and strange men around the world can evaluate and
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 2: contact them. Imagine there was a park. And there were
• 1:32:18
  Speaker 2: 15-year-old girls, and they said to the park, we'd really
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 2: like it if you showed up in halt tube tops
• 1:32:24
  Speaker 2: and miniskirts, and then your peers get to sit around
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 2: you and comment out loud, and strange men from anywhere
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 2: can come and comment and then contact you. Would we
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 2: allow that?
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 1: Not a chance.
• 1:32:39
  Speaker 2: That's Instagram.
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 1: Why do we allow that then? Do we expect our
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 1: government to save us, or do we have to save ourselves?
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 2: Well, I think... At the end of the day, I
• 1:32:49
  Speaker 2: think it's our fault. We haven't voted in the people
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 2: who understand these technologies are willing to stand up to
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 2: these companies. They're very savvy. They spent a lot of
• 1:32:55
  Speaker 2: money on lobbying. And I also think in the back room,
• 1:32:58
  Speaker 2: they're probably doing deals around national security to help us
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 2: kind of hunt down the bad guys. I think it's
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 2: a nuanced argument. But at the end of the day,
• 1:33:05
  Speaker 2: our government has really let us down. When we look back, Theo,
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 2: on this era around big tech, I think we're going
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 2: to regret the concentration of power, the monopoly power, the
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 2: weaponization of some of our elections, some of the misinformation
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 2: that's come out. But more than anything, we'll look back
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 2: on this era and think, how did we let this
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 2: happen to our kids? You don't have kids. I should
• 1:33:25
  Speaker 2: know better. My son developed device addiction. My kid hides
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 2: in the bathroom so he can be on TikTok. I
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 2: don't know what he's on on TikTok. There's been some
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 2: instances of bullying, both him being bullied and bullying others.
• 1:33:39
  Speaker 2: And I think we're probably not as bad as some households.
• 1:33:42
  Speaker 2: This is literally, there is no addiction in America. 24%,
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 2: two-thirds of teens are on social media. 24% qualify as addicts.
• 1:33:52
  Speaker 2: Can you imagine any? We age-gate pornography, the military, motorcycles, weapons,
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 2: but we don't age-gate social media. What other substance, what
• 1:34:03
  Speaker 2: other company could get away with getting two thirds of
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 2: kids on that substance and then having a quarter of
• 1:34:09
  Speaker 2: them be identified clinically as addicts. We wouldn't and haven't
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 2: put up with it anywhere else, but these guys are
• 1:34:17
  Speaker 2: so smart, have so many lobbyists, there are more full-time lobbyists.
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 1: And there are representatives and senators.
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 2: Just at Amazon, Amazon has more full-time paid lobbyists living
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 2: in DC than there are sitting US senators. We've been overrun,
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 2: our government's been overrun by money, And we haven't been
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 2: able to vote in people that are able to stand
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 2: up and pass laws. This shit is difficult and complicated.
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 2: And these companies have taken advantage of it. Also, they
• 1:34:44
  Speaker 2: have the propaganda to turn up the dials.
• 1:34:47
  Speaker 1: Because they own the information that's going out. They can
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 1: manage it.
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 2: 100%.
• 1:34:53
  Speaker 1: God, Scott, I don't even know if I can fucking...
• 1:34:56
  Speaker 1: Get out of this room today.
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 2: Let's go to Whole Foods.
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 1: Right before you leave, you said one of the biggest
• 1:35:03
  Speaker 1: choices is the person that you will marry. I've heard
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 1: you say that.
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 2: Have kids with.
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 1: Have kids with.
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 2: 100%. Yeah. And that goes back to a willingness to
• 1:35:10
  Speaker 2: endure rejection such that you can find someone who's really
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 2: high character that you're attracted to. I have friends who
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 2: on exterior metrics are really successful, smart, talented, ballers professionally,
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 2: a lot of money. Mm-hmm. but they don't really have
• 1:35:26
  Speaker 2: a partner. And I find that their life has an
• 1:35:29
  Speaker 2: unnecessary amount of stress and disappointment in it. And at
• 1:35:32
  Speaker 2: the same time, I have a lot of other friends
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 2: who are not as economically successful, but they have a
• 1:35:38
  Speaker 2: real partner and everything burns a little bit brighter. And
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 2: I hope, oh, I hope I'm around, but I hope
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 2: we have the chance in 10 or 20 years, I'm
• 1:35:47
  Speaker 2: confident you're going to find someone to have kids. All
• 1:35:50
  Speaker 2: of this, right? Podcast, AI, social media, GDP growth, Trump,
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 2: It's all bullshit. It's all a means. The ends, the
• 1:36:00
  Speaker 2: whole shooting match, is finding someone you care about and
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 2: having kids. That's what I found. I didn't want to
• 1:36:07
  Speaker 2: have kids. I didn't want to get married.
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 1: So that actually disproved what your original thoughts and feelings were.
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 2: I got it wrong. And you can't, no one who
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 2: doesn't have kids can fully understand it. And by the way,
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 2: I want to be clear, there are other ways to
• 1:36:19
  Speaker 2: find and receive love. I don't think you have to
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 2: have kids to be happy. What I can tell you
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 2: is that the majority of people I know who've had
• 1:36:24
  Speaker 2: kids who've said, It's a tremendous amount of stress, but
• 1:36:27
  Speaker 2: it's the first time in my life I felt like
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 2: I had real purpose and real meaning. And that's what
• 1:36:32
  Speaker 2: our economy is supposed to do. It's supposed to give
• 1:36:34
  Speaker 2: young people, specifically more young men right now, the opportunity
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 2: to engage in loving, supportive relationships and have kids. That's
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 2: the whole shooting match. Everything else is the means. That's
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 2: the ends.
• 1:36:49
  Speaker 1: The G Prof podcast that you're- Close, Prof G. The Prof, sorry.
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 2: I like that better. That sounds like a new Mercedes vehicle,
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 2: the G Prof Wagon. There we go. We got it, co-branded.
• 1:37:01
  Speaker 2: By the way, hashtag Prof G.
• 1:37:03
  Speaker 1: The Prof G podcast. That's yours, Scott. Thanks for coming
• 1:37:07
  Speaker 1: and just thinking with this man. And yeah, we don't
• 1:37:09
  Speaker 1: want to look down on young men. We don't want
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 1: to do that. We're just looking at stuff because part
• 1:37:13
  Speaker 1: of it is to let young men know and men
• 1:37:16
  Speaker 1: know that like some of the system that we're in
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 1: and the environment that we're in is not set up
• 1:37:21
  Speaker 1: to help us. So don't feel like ashamed of yourself. Right.
• 1:37:25
  Speaker 1: That's the thing. I don't want to push that at all.
• 1:37:29
  Speaker 2: At 24, I was living with my mother. No economic prospects,
• 1:37:33
  Speaker 2: no romantic prospects. I was broke at 34. Then I
• 1:37:37
  Speaker 2: was broke again at 42. And the first emotion I
• 1:37:41
  Speaker 2: felt when my oldest son had the poor judgment to
• 1:37:44
  Speaker 2: come marching out of my girlfriend, it was 2008, great
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 2: financial recession. I'd lost everything was I felt shame and humiliation.
• 1:37:53
  Speaker 2: Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself. Everyone's been there, right? If you're
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 2: not doing well. Be a good person, get in good shape.
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 2: Start making some money, even if it's just a little
• 1:38:02
  Speaker 2: bit of money, right? The way to make a lot
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 2: of money is to start making a little and get
• 1:38:05
  Speaker 2: a taste for flesh. Be out of the house every day,
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 2: be in the company, the agency of others, right?
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:38:13
  Speaker 2: And work your ass off and try and show, like
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 2: show up, get the easy stuff right. Develop a savings muscle,
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 2: see if you can save some money. And don't be
• 1:38:20
  Speaker 2: afraid to approach strange women. The ability to make a
• 1:38:25
  Speaker 2: woman feel safe while expressing romantic interest is not only
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 2: the key to being finding a great partner, those same
• 1:38:31
  Speaker 2: skills are going to serve you really well in work.
• 1:38:34
  Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with that. You are a protector, you're
• 1:38:36
  Speaker 2: a provider, and you're a procreator.
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 1: Let's go, dude. Let's go to Whole Foods.
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 2: Where is she?
• 1:38:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm going to approach so many strange women this year.
• 1:38:47
  Speaker 1: Next year, dude.
• 1:38:48
  Speaker 2: That's a little scary.
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 1: It's Strange Women 25, baby.
• 1:38:51
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 1:38:53
  Speaker 1: Scott Galloway, thank you, man. Thanks for thinking with me.
• 1:38:55
  Speaker 1: Thanks for being somebody that I find inspiring and educational
• 1:38:59
  Speaker 1: and also able to be earnest about themselves and their
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 1: own journey. I just appreciate that, man.
• 1:39:04
  Speaker 2: Thanks, man. Congrats on your success. You're a nice role
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 2: model for young men. You really do. You bring a
• 1:39:09
  Speaker 2: different vibe. I think it's important.
• 1:39:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Thanks, dude. I don't, I don't know if I
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 1: feel like a role model, but it's nice you to say,
• 1:39:15
  Speaker 1: I definitely feel like a young man though. So I
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 1: feel like I'm, you know, we're going to keep going.
• 1:39:21
  Speaker 2: It goes fast. Trust me. You're younger than everybody. And
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 2: one day you'll show up and you'll be the oldest
• 1:39:25
  Speaker 2: person in the room. It's really weird. Time goes fast.
• 1:39:29
  Speaker 2: You're enjoying your, you're really, you're really grabbing life by
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 2: the balls and squeezing right now. So congratulations.
• 1:39:35
  Speaker 1: Well, I work really hard. That's one thing I do do.
• 1:39:37
  Speaker 1: You know, I know that I have learned that, you know,
• 1:39:39
  Speaker 1: I learned that like Just for my mom, you just,
• 1:39:41
  Speaker 1: if you, yeah, that you can do that, you know,
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 1: that's in my control, you know, and the rest of
• 1:39:46
  Speaker 1: the stuff we'll figure out along the way. And thank
• 1:39:48
  Speaker 1: you for being here today and helping us think of
• 1:39:51
  Speaker 1: and learn about some of it.
• 1:39:52
  Speaker 2: Thank you and welcome to New York.
• 1:39:53
  Speaker 1: Thank you, brother.
• 1:40:02
  Speaker 2: Cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share
• 1:40:08
  Speaker 2: this peace of mind I found I can feel it
• 1:40:12
  Speaker 2: in my bones